see 1991 for 1 January 1992 episode
Originally transmitted: 3, 6, 8, 10 & 13 January 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 12 - Friday 16 July 1999
Episode Numbers: 3327 - 3331

Monday (3327, Friday 3 January 1992)

Oh my this was such a sad episode! But written and acted superbly!!

Curly gathers the milk from the doorstep and is greeted by Des. Curly has insomnia but the video tapes of these women doing "it" turns out to be his anxiety over confronting shoplifters! Des passes on a message for Raquel, once he confirms with rather more curiosity than just a passing comment that she's planning to stay in the area, that he has a mate that is leaving for a new job so might have a flat to let.

At the hospital, Jim arrives. They two of them are desperately quiet with worry and barely holding their emotions in check. Liz asks "Is she still here?" "Have you seen her this morning?" Jim softly says Aye, he's seen her, she's so tiny but putting up a good fight. A nurse checks in, making their hearts leap, but there's no news.

Audrey tells Deirdre about Ken walking out on Alma and speculates that Alma gave Mike more than the time of day when he called around at Christmas. Deirdre is astonished that Ken would dump Alma and equally astonished that Alma would take up with Mike again.

Alma meanwhile, is not impressed that Mike has come with a gloating grin on his face. She won't serve him and keeps her back to him most of the time while she implores him to leave her alone and go away. She's still beating herself up over the whole situation but Gail later tells her she doesn't know what she wants with men and is the author of her own discontent. If someone handed Alma happiness on a plate, Gail reckons, she'd be disappointed in the plate! Audrey later comes by and visits Alma in the flat, scolding her for telling Ken the truth. Blokes don't want to hear it! Alma is now firmly entrenched in the "I hate men, no more men in my life" mode.

Emily, who is looking for Percy (but we never really find out what for), discusses Liz in the hospital with Rita, Deirdre, Betty and Bet. The popular consensus is that Bet should be the one to visit Liz, as they all agree one of them should.

Meanwhile, in the hospital, Jim is clasping Liz's hand like a lifeline and chatters to her about the conversation he had with his Auntie Flo over in Ireland who told him there was a Katherine in their family. Third cousin once removed apparently, living in Canada. He natters on about family connections. She asks about Steve but Jim doesn't really want to talk about his wayward son as it winds him up too much. Liz softly asks Jim to go easy on the lad. Jim changes the subject and goes back to wittering on about his family again in a desperate attempt to distract. Liz's tears start to flow and even Jim is barely holding his own back but Liz's heart is broken and she whispers "She's dead. She's gone!" Jim tries to keep her hopes up but it's clear that Liz has felt the sever in the gossamer thin lifeline between the wee one and her own soul. They both look around at the same time and see two nurses about to approach, their faces heavy with sympathy and dread at the unpleasant task ahead of them, conveying the sad news. I don't know how they do it, i really don't!

When we return from the break, Jim is in the hall, face white, jaw set. He learns that Liz has been moved to a private room, best in the circumstances. He asks that the hospital chaplain be kept away from them both. He's had religion enough in his life and doesn't want Liz upset by someone telling her this is all part of God's plan! Tell him we have our own religion, he requests.

In the cafe, Emily has found Percy and Phyllis enters to spread the news that the MacDonald boys have been summoned to the hospital. They all agree that it can't be good news.

Back to the hospital, Bet has arrived and has obviously just been told what she's walked into. Liz is still in shock, and can't cry, she tells Bet. Bet does not plan to stop but gives Jim and Liz her love and support. The boys arrive and are gently guided out into the hall by their father who explains that their wee sister has died. She's going to be called Katherine and he wants the boys to be there for their mother now. They go inside to her as Bet leaves, giving Jim some more sympathy which he greatly appreciates. He returns to the room and before she leaves, Bet watches the family huddle together around Liz.

Alma answers her door to find Ken there looking rather sheepish. She reluctantly lets him in. He's come to apologize. It was ungracious of him and inexcusable. Oh that was the wrong thing to say. Ungracious??? Alma tears a strip off him for apologizing just so he can feel gracious after making her feel so worthless. She rails at him until he too loses his temper and he tries to shift some of the blame on her. Mike Baldwin of all the men to allow to have their hand on her! But from the way he puts it she can tell if it had been anyone else, he might have been able to forgive her. She accuses him of caring more about his relationship with Mike Baldwin than his relationship with her! Well, she's well out of it and ushers him out without another word.

The MacDonald men have made an attempt at having tea but none of them has any appetite, predictably. Steve and Andy start arguing. Steve starting to take the blame for the baby's early arrival and death although Jim won't blame him or anyone. Steve offers to tell the police everything, it's the only thing he can do to make amends while Jim does give him a few rough words about his misplaced loyalty.

Angie and Raquel have a heart to heart and have made friends. Raquel, however, manages to bring up Des and they chat about Des's marriage. Angie does admit she likes Des but knows he's on the rebound. Curly arrives home with seafood and passes the message on to Raquel about Des's mate's flat, perking Raquel's interest. Raquel later visits Des for a drink but it turns out the flat is no longer available. (Funny about that!) They discuss how she feels about Curly and she explains that she feels bad for how she treated Curly as he is really a decent bloke. Des and Raquel both wonder if there's something more between Angie and Curly and Raquel decides to leave as she has already promised to meet Curly and Angie in the Rovers. She's still anxious to get her own place and Des, in an almost off hand way, offers her his spare room! (oh, yeah, right!) She smiles!

Diane Johnston

Nurse Hendry MADELINE KAY
Written by JULIAN ROACH Directed by DAVID RICHARDS

Tuesday (3328, Monday 6 January 1992)

Raquel continues to search for suitable digs on Coronation Street. Jack indulges briefly in the fantasy that she would be the perfect lodger for his and Vera's place until both Vera and Raquel disabuse him of that notion, and the former in no uncertain terms!

Angie is clearly annoyed to hear that from Raquel that Des has offered Raquel a room at his place, and when Angie informs Curly, so is he! He is so angry he confronts Des, accusing him of having more than a "mortgage helper" on his mind. Anyway, Des is offended at Curly's implication but refuses to engage him in an argument on it. Later in the pub he and Raquel agree to share quarters.

Alma tells Gail that Ken came round to apologize for abandoning her at their hotel but she didn't accept his apology. Gail is getting fed up with the neverending saga of Ken and Alma and Mike (and I must apologize but so am I, although I have not yet felt the patented Updater's Loss of the Will to Live [tm]). Gail gets off a cracking line when she comments to Alma about Ken, "Now you're even-Steven. You've done something he can't forgive you for, and he's done something you won't let him apologize for. You can all be as miserable as sin forever after!"

Alec calls from Frankfurt, where he has been stranded on his way home. Bet tells Vickie that her Grandfather is on his way, and that he has been stuck in an airport for many hours so he won't want upsetting! When Vickie asks what Bet means by this, Bet responds with a story. Forgive me for merely paraphrasing the great Bet Gilroy saying the words put into her mouth by the talented Julian Roche:

"Well, there was this woman, see, who had a washing machine installed. Now, the man who installed it were a bachelor, and when he'd installed it, she offered to do a load of washing for 'im. Only 'e thought there was something else up, you see, and he 'tried it on'. Well, she bundled him right out the door, washing and all. Only there was this one sock left in the washing machine. Now when 'er 'usband got 'ome, he found this sock in the washing machine." She leans closer to a rapt Vickie. "*Not* *His* *Sock*. So d'you know what? 'E throttled 'er, and got four years for it." Dramatic pause. "All for a sock."

There is another pause while Vickie digests this, then says slowly, "Is that a parable?" "What do you call a parable?" asks Bet. "Well, it's like a story, only it isn't true, but you're supposed to get the point." "Well, then, *that* is the Parable of the Sock. And you, you get the point. Don't you?" Vickie nods slowly, never taking her eyes off her step-grandmother, in this delightful scene.

The comedy in today's episode was balanced by some wrenching pathos as the MacDonalds come to grips with the loss of their infant daughter and sister. Jim tells the boys to tidy the area they'd dug up for the planned, now-unneeded extension for the baby's room and level it off. In a moment alone with Steve, Jim suggests Steve may want to consider carefully his decision to go to the police about the stolen car radios; the other boys involved will have solicitors and if Steve pleads guilty it could be all too easy for them to blame everything on him and for Steve to go down for all of them.

Later, in a wrenching scene Jim visits Liz in the hospital where she shows him a photograph the hospital took of the baby. He says that Katherine would have been beautiful, just like her mother. They note that the baby appears as if nothing was dreadfuly wrong, and then Jim asks whether they have told Liz why it happened and she says they don't know for sure. He then asks whether they have said stress or anxiety could have contributed and she once again avoids the question. Finally Jim wonders if he should ask them outright if stress was a contributing factor. "Why?" asks Liz. So that they would know for next time? They both know that there won't be a next time, she says. She is also aware of the implication that Steve's trouble is the stress Jim is referring to, and pleads with him to never let on to Steve that stress might have contributed. "I've got no interest in crucifying any child I *have* got," she says, full of sadness. Jim agrees.

ronniecat

Written by JULIAN ROCHE Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Line of the day: Audreh gives Raquel advice about moving into Coronation Street. "You could do worse than stoppin' round 'ere! You'll never be found dead behind y'door wi' y'milk bottles piled up! Folks around here take an interest, like!"

Wednesday (3329, Wednesday 8 January 1992)

Phyllis arrives at Des' home, where she is greeted by loud music and Des making breakfast. She announces happily that "it" has happened -- Des is finally over Steph -- and gets a kiss from Des. Her happiness is short-lived, though, when Racquel bounces down the stairs in her kimono.

At the MacDonald home, Jim and the boys are sprucing-up the place by cleaning and adding flowers for Liz' home-coming. Steve is off to mix concrete to fill the hole made for the now unnecessary renovations, and after his departure, Jim comments to Andy that their mom will need some careful handling when she gets home. Andy offers to accompany his dad to register Katherine's birth and death, but Jim gratefully declines.

Over at the Rover's Return, Bet and Betty discuss the injustice of a tiny babe dying before it even started life, and the subject brings back painful memories for Bet of her own miscarriage. Betty asks when Alec is due home, but Bet can only offer, "when he gets here."

At the Cafe, Jack asks Percy if the Charity Shop failed to pay its rent, and is curtly informed that the lease ran out, that's all. Jack offers to help move the shop's stock in exchange for "a quick rummage" through their things. Percy indignantly declines, claiming he can do it all himself, and leaves just as Phyllis arrives, who tells Gail and Alma she has some "hot gossip" about Des Barnes' new house guest.

Racquel answers the door to Angie, who is in a stroppy mood, calling Racquel "a right calculating cow."

Meanwhile, the movers load the property of the Charity Shop onto their van, while Percy rattles off an inventory. When Emily asks about various pieces of furniture to be loaded, Percy tells her it's all under control, and to leave it to him. She rushes off to answer her phone while Percy sends the van on its way, but moments later, Emily re-appears and is angry to learn that Percy overlooked a box of books at Dierdre's house. "If you were the army," she retorts, "thank Heavens for the RAF!"

Back at Des' place, the slanging match continues with Angie yelling that she offered Racquel a place to stay, and she stole her fellow in return. Racquel protests that this isn't true, and besides that, she was in the way at Angie's. She also points out that she is sleeping in Des' spare room, and accuses Angie of having a dirty mind. "You saw him, you wanted him, and you grabbed him" is Angie's summary.

At the Corner Shop, Emily apologizes to Dierdre over the books that weren't picked up, but Dierdre dismisses the situation, telling Emily not to worry about it. The MacDonald twins are in the shop too, and when asked about their mom, they tell Dierdre that she's coming home that day and they'll be making her tea.

Jim, meanwhile, is escorting Liz from the hospital.

It's clear from Jack's remarks at the Rover's Return that he's not looking forward to the arrival of Alec, and he wonders aloud if Alec will learn of Bet's hijinx with "Dirty Des the Decorator." Betty wisely tells Jack to keep his mouth shut. At the bar, Audrey cracks on to Angie about "a new man coming into her life," (referring to Alec's return). Phyllis, who has overheard this remark, tells Audrey that Angie thought she was referring to Des. As Phyllis puts it, Angie has been "skuppered by a bimbo."

Liz arrives home and is warmly hugged by Andy, but Steve hangs back in the kitchen. When he finally comes forward, he blurts out that it's all his fault, and that he's sorry.

In the living quarters of the Rover's Return, Vicky comments that she's looking forward to going back to school and to seeing her grand-dad. Out of the blue, she asks Bet why she and Alec got married. Bet wonders why she's asked this question, but instead of receiving an answer, Vicky changes the subject and decides she needs to run into town for some last-minute school supplies. As she leaves, Bet assures her that she does love her grand-dad.

Liz, meanwhile, is trying to comfort Steve by telling him that we can't decide who lives or dies -- only God can do that. She assures Steve that she doesn't blame him in any way for losing the baby, and then confesses that if anything, she feels it's her own fault. She suddenly realizes that what she's saying is "daft," and tries to put an end to the issue by telling Steve that no one, not even the doctors, know why babies die -- Katherine just didn't have the strength to live.

At the registry office, in the midst of a joyful wedding, Jim arrives to complete the sad task of registering both the birth and the death of his infant daughter. In the waiting room, he encounters Andy, who is there to lend support.

After giving Ken his change at the Corner Shop, Audrey tries to get some tidbits out of him regarding the status of his and Alma's relationship, but Ken's having none of it. He stops briefly to tell Dierdre that the divorce papers have arrived, prompting both Audrey and Bet to comment on how "civilized" they are. As Bet leaves the shop, a cab pulls up in front of the Rover's Return, and Alec emerges. They hug and kiss happily on the street.

Back at the MacDonald's, Andy goes out for a take-away while Steve mulls things over on the stairwell. In the living room, Liz hugs Jim, noting that while others "pussyfoot" around her, being careful of what they say, they seem to have forgotten that he lost a baby too. Jim says he can't cry, yet, and as he tells Liz what "a good lad" Andy is for showing up unexpectedly at the registry office, Steve listens, deep in thought.

Alec pronounces it's good to be back, and is informed that Angie is their newest recruit, to replace Liz. "It's an ill wind that brought you here" he ominously remarks to Angie, who looks crestfallen when Alec says they'll talk, later. "Angie ousted again" is her bitter comment, as Alec goes for his tea.

Across the road, Des comments on the groceries Racquel bought for him, and she promises that she's keeping track of all the money she owes him. Des tells her that he and Angie were never "an item," but Racquel is clearly upset and tells him that Angie, Curly, and everyone else think there's more to her "boarding" there than meets the eye. She moans that she's not "calculating," and wants things set right -- to pay her share of the bills and rent with "no funny business." When Des asks who suggested there was "funny business" going on, she tells him about her visit from Angie. "What sorts of minds have these people got?" wonders Des out loud, while smiling to himself and giving Racquel the lecherous once over as she exits the room. "Is £20 a week okay?" Racquel asks as an afterthought, and this sounds fine to Des, who believes he can "handle" that!

Curly, meanwhile, is telling Angie over the bar that Racquel could be telling the truth about her arrangements with Des. Angie's not even slightly convinced of this, though, noting that when Racquel "flashes her lashes, men drop like dominoes." At a nearby table, Audrey and Dierdre enjoy a drink while Audrey goes on about Ken being a bit of a catch. Dierdre reminds Audrey that she "threw him back" before rushing off, and she is quickly replaced at the table by Alma. Audrey informs her that Ken's Decree Nisi has arrived, but Alma couldn't care less. Bet arrives seconds later and tells folks that she's just been to see Liz, and that the funeral is scheduled for tomorrow.

Alec presents Vicky with a gold locket from his travels, and Bet proposes that they find a picture of her parents to put in it. Alec wants to keep Vicky home from boarding school an extra day to catch up on each other's news, but Bet quickly says no to the idea, pointing out that all the reservations are made, and that there is a scheduled reception back at school. Vicky asks Alec if he likes the re-decorating, and then cryptically notes that "every picture tells a story -- doesn't it Bet?" before swanning off to her room, leaving Bet looking a little uncomfortable.

Heather Morlan

Truck Driver: DOC O'BRIEN
Written by TOM ELLIOTT Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Thursday (3330, Friday 10 January 1992)

WTN transmission cut out across Canada so here is Thursday's update courtesty and copyright of WTN

Raquel is aware her presence in the house is causing Des problems as he finds her desirable. Steve can't bring himself to attend Katherine's funeral and disappears. Jim is furious. Angie overhears Phyllis talking about the way Raquel shows off her body around the house. Vicky tells Alec Bet really missed him and he should make it up to her. Liz, Jim and Andy bury Katherine. Jim feels Steve has insulted the whole family. Steve goes to the police station and tells everything he knows about the radios. Bet is touched when Vicky kisses her before returning to school. Jim lays into Steve. When Steve tells him he's given the police a statement he is even more angry, feeling the police will make a scapegoat of Steve. Liz is relieved that now they can begin to get on with their lives. Vera wishes she could see her grandson. Martin has an interview for a hospital porter's job. Angie pours a pint over Des' head when he boasts women fall at his feet. Alec reprimands her so she resigns. Des and Raquel decide they don't care what people thing about them and start kissing. Alec tells Bet that as a treat for her he's going to get Des Foster to decorate the rest of her living quarters

Friday (3331, Monday 13 January 1992)

Martin is pleased to see that the morning mail contains a job offer following his recent interview. Gail shares his enthusiasm but she wonders what's to be done about the kids. Nicky chimes in that they can look after themselves but Gail says she'll have a word with Sally this afternoon just the same.

Jim offers to take the morning off so Liz won't be alone but she tells him she'd welcome some time to herself and not to worry. When he suggests that she might be better off at work, that it would "take her mind off" the situation, she answers that she doesn't want to "take her mind off" it! She'll be all right, she assures him, just give her some time.

As Curly is getting ready for work, Angie catches the look on his face and wonders what he's grinning about. "Just savouring the moment of victory before facing another day of drudgery", he tells her, recalling her stunt of the previous evening. She retorts that at least *he* has a job to go to but grudgingly admits it did give her some pleasure to put Des in his place.

Over at Des' place, Angie's leaving is the topic of conversation between Phyllis and Raquel, too. Phyllis says she thinks Alec has been after a reason to sack her since his return from the cruise. At the same time, she doesn't think the job meant much to Angie. "I can't abide a woman who won't pay her own way!" says Phyllis. Right on cue, Raquel mentions that she's a little strapped for cash at the moment, would Phyllis mind loaning her a tenner, just for a week or so? In spite of herself, Phyllis reaches into her purse and offers a fiver, but only until the weekend. A grateful Raquel promises she'll get it back.

In the sitting room, Alec mentions that he's been having trouble getting hold of Des Foster to come and continue decorating. Bet nervously says she doesn't think he's available and tells Alec that he "messed her about" anyway, shed just as soon deal with someone else. Alec wonders what she means by that but she defers the truth by saying he sent an apprentice in to finish the job. It matters not a whit to Alec who does the decorating, owner or apprentice, as long as it's done with the same expertise as the bedrooms! The phone rings and Alec goes to answer. As he engages in a heated exchange, Bet gets herself all worked up thinking it's Des Foster at the other end. Only when he rings off, she realises it was a supplier who can't deliver meat pies. Alec gets ready to rush off to the Cash and Carry but Bet knows she's got to tell him the truth about what happened while he was away so she tries to make him wait. He's in too much of a hurry, he tells her. With Liz on leave, Betty calling in sick and now having sacked Angie, he needs added worries like a hole in his head!

Looks like Bettabuys has a new cashier and his name is Curly. They are short staffed so he is filling in on the front lines but he complains to Reg that they must get someone in soon. Curly proposes that he knows the perfect candidate, Angie, but Reg is insistent that he wants Raquel back. "If *she* comes back, Im going!" says Curly adamantly.

Sally has come around for a visit with Liz. As the two sit talking, Sally offers that she's sorry "it" happened and Liz gently informs her that they called their baby daughter "Katy". Sally feels awkward not knowing what to say but she struggles along looking for the right words to say. Liz asks about Rosie and Sally says she needed a break from her which is why she didn't bring her. Liz tells her that she doesn't need to worry that bringing her around would upset her, she's been as upset as she's ever likely to be! When Sally finally reaslises that Liz needs to talk about her baby, Liz is only too happy to have a listening ear. She readily shows her a picture of the infant at which Sally dissolves in tears. She apologises for her reaction but Liz tells her it's the best thing she could have done!

Alec arrives back at the pub from the Cash and Carry and Bet meets him with a solemn face. She has cancelled the decorator, she tells him and now it's time for her to explain why she had no other option. He grudgingly follows her into the back room to hear the reason but only after she insists that he wouldn't want her to tell him in the bar.

Sitting together in the parlour, Bet tells Alec as gingerly as she can about what happened with Des. She explains that she was involved with him years ago and that she called him out of anger when Alec took the trip. That's all Alec needs to hear before concluding that she was unfaithful in his absence. She never meant to pick up where they left off, she protests, and nothing happened because she didn't want it to. Angered by what he perceives she *isn't* saying, Alec has convinced himself that Bet and Des Foster had an affair.

Mike stops in at the cafe on the pretense that there's a new fast food outlet opening nearby and he wants to warn Alma and Gail that they'll have some stiff competition to contend with if they don't expand their menu. Alma doesn't believe he's there for any other reason than to see her but Gail at least listens to what he has to say and politely thanks him.

In the pub, Raquel has come in for drink and is being chatted up by Jack who says he doesn't blame her for choosing to move in with Des instead of him and Vera. Calling it a "modern arrangement", he winks that she's probably "happier" where she is. She corrects him firmly that it's the "usual sort of arrangement", she pays rent and Des provides her with a room! Reg smarms in and spotting Raquel at the bar, offers to buy her a drink. When she accepts, he loses no time buttering her up to offer her her old job back.

Down the bar, Percy is trying to pawn his inheritance of books (the ones he sent the removal van on without) off on Ken. To Percy's regret, Ken fails to be impressed by the condition and quality of the books' bindings - he simply isn't interested in titles like "Intermediate Midwifery" and "Across India by Buffalo"! Alec comes along and orders Percy to conduct his transactions elsewhere but when Percy doesn't remove the box of books quickly enough, Alec shoves it off the bar to the floor. When Ken protests, Alec invites him to take his trade elsewhere too!

Still at the cash register, Curly is relieved when Vera shows up to take his place so that he can go to lunch. He notes with irony that Holdsworth has had *his* lunch before giving his seat to Vera. As he walks away, she calls him back to ask about something weighing on her mind. How do you go about finding someone you've lost track of? Curly suggests the Sally Ann or a private detective. "You mean there's private detectives in Weatherfield?" she asks in surprise, utterly oblivious to the lineup of people waiting for service.

The Rovers is now closed for the dinner hour and Alec, still angry, is on his way "out". Bet tells him he's being very hard as he won't stop to listen to her. He makes a crack about her carrying on in front of the staff and then questions her as to how much Vicky saw. "Enough to know there was no threat to you", she answers. "Oh, so you managed to pull the wool over her eyes then!" he shouts. Bet pleads with him yet again that he has to believe her - nothing happened. She breaks down as she finally tells him she had to fight Des off. Suddenly sensing the veracity of her claim, Alec is shocked by the revelation and indignant at Des Foster. Immediately, he starts talking about sorting him out. Bet tearfully pleads with him to leave it alone, just to forget it. How can he forget it? By pretending it never happened and making sure it never happens again, she tells him. "Alec, none of this would have happened if you hadn't gone away", she says softly. Remorseful now, he relents that he has to share in the blame. He apologises for not believing her and they kiss and make up.

Jim comes home early, telling Liz that the shop was a bit quiet. She gets up to start the tea but he stops her to show her a purchase hes just made. He "just happened to be passing" a shop, he explains, and saw this little picture frame which he thought would be just right for Katys picture. Liz is overtaken with emotion when she sees it and throws her arms around him in the warmest of hugs.

At home, Vera calls the Weatherfield Investigation Agency and leaves a message. She'll come in for a consultation after six tomorrow, if that's all right, she nervously tells the machine.

Alma is just closing the cafe when Mike shows up. She tries to send him away but he insists on talking to her about the new competition. She thanks him for the tip and again asks him to leave if that's all he came for. He seizes the chance to say that *isn't* all he came for and she starts to tremble with anger. Forcefully, she makes her request yet again and he finally reluctantly goes. Alma is left to lament, "Damn, damn, damn!!!

In the pub, Alec gets Ken a beer on the house to make up for his sharpness earlier. Bet tells Ken to mention to Percy there'll be one there for him too when he comes in and Alec forces a smile of agreement.

Mavis and Derek come in and he orders a small sherry for her and a pint of bitter for himself. "Derek - a pint!!" gasps Mavis in surprise. It's been a very trying day, he explains. In an aside to Bet, he confides that he's amazed at the "sheer lack of managerial skills at the top"! Bet nods her understanding.

Des and Raquel have also just come in and while she chats with someone down the bar, he gets in the drinks. Alec apologises for what happened the previous evening and assures him the barmaid in question has been sacked. Des wonders about the vacancy and suggests Raquel would be perfect as a barmaid. Alec considers the punters she would attract and agrees to give her a job, starting tomorrow. As Raquel comes over to join him, Des tells her the happy news. "Me? A *barmaid*?" she responds.

In the Platts' livingroom, Sally is discussing terms with Martin and Gail. She thinks, considering their friendship, they are offering too much money for babysitting. But, as Gail points out, friendship has nothing to do with it. A knock at the door interrupts and Gail answers to find a very distressed Alma on the doorstep. Alma didn't realise they had company and she turns to leave but Gail insists on hearing what's troubling her. Alma blurts out that Mike has been back again. She can't take anymore, she says. She's decided to sell up her share in the cafe and move on. Gail is shocked at the news but Alma doesn't hang about to discuss it. As she goes off, Martin comes to the door and Gail grimly informs him of Alma's decision.

Anita Belanger

Written by KEN BLAKESON Directed by SARAH HARDING


Originally transmitted: 15, 17, 20, 22 & 24 January 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 19 - Friday 23 July 1999
Episode Numbers: 3332 - 3336

Monday (3332, Wednesday 15 January 1992)

Vera's got a lot on her mind today. Jack thinks it's because he's working on his night off, to cover for the bar being shorthanded but she says she's working late anyway. It's established through the day that, in fact, she's not working an extra shift but anxious to leave exactly on time though can't drive Ivy home because she's got a business appointment. Ivy doesn't spill the beans to Jack though. Vera's assignation is actually with a private investigator. She wants to locate her grandson, the child Terry fathered with Andrea Clayton 6 years ago. She tearfully tells Mr. Hastings the story and what information she knows but doesn't even remember Andrea's mother's name. She is assured of complete discretion but is warned she will have to pay expenses which, hopefully, won't be too high. Vera doesn't care, she just wants to see the face of her long lost grandson.

It's Raquel's first day at the pub. Bet's willing to give her a chance but tells Alec it's temporary until they see if Liz is going to return. While Raquel wonders which skin tight short dress to wear, Vera is dismayed to discover that the attractive blonde is going to be working in close quarters with her husband! So THAT'S why he's working on his night off! Des fully supports his lady, and even Phyllis seems to be warming up to Raquel, calling her a lively one. But Angie loses her temper when she realizes Raquel has pinched her job after pinching her fella and fires her shoes at Raquel across the bar in a rage.

Gail and Alma argue on and off all day about Alma's decision to sell up and leave town to get Mike out of her life. Gail snaps at the customers and worries about feeding her kids. When Audrey reveals Mike's Christmas Day shenanigans, Gail takes matters into her own hands and goes to visit Mike. She appeals to him, her own economic situation aside, and tries to get him to realize that if Alma leaves town it would be the worst thing for her. Mike is unrepentant however, as he admits his mistakes and his love for Alma and he's convinced they should be together. Gail returns to the cafe in defeat and admits to Alma where she's been. She argues with Alma again over the folly of starting all over again on her own as does Audrey later on. Alma insists that if she stays, she's lost.

A few bits and bobs: Derek is in temporary charge of PPP and seems to have illusions of efficient grandeur, planning to write a thorough critique of the company. Why do i feel the presence of a little cloud of gloom hovering? Percy is still trying to flog that box of second hand books from the old charity shop. Why doesn't he just take them to the new one? Ken admits to Deirdre that he could have forgiven Alma and forgotten had it been anyone other than Mike Baldwin. He grits his teeth and whines that Mike's always there to smash up his life!

Line of the day: Raquel tells Phyllis she's working at the Rovers but it's just temporary until she finds something in her field. Phyllis mutters "Aye, like the rest of the cows!" What a star!

Diane Johnston

Gordon Hastings STEPHEN MACKENNA Man in Cafe JOSEPH LEY
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by SARAH HARDING

Tuesday (3333, Friday 17 January 1992)

Phyllis asks Raquel if she is missing something, only she means something material like a piece of jewelry. Raquel confirms that an earring has gone missing. Phyllis presents the previously lost bauble with a flouish. Raquel claims it as the earring in question, foolishly opening the door by inquiring where Phyllis found it. "Desmond's bed," says Phyllis acidly. Raquel makes some lame excuse as to how it could have ended up there, which Phyllis dismisses with "a likely story".

Later in a chat with Raquel Phyllis declares firmly that she believes Des is still in love with Steph and never got over her - and in fact "he'll NEVER get over her". She also begs Raquel not to hurt Des. That evening in the Rovers a slightly depressed Raquel tells Des she is beginning to regret moving into the street and now that Phyllis has evidence that they're sleeping together she is concerned that people will think she's a tramp. Des, characteristically, isn't concerned.

Vera reveals to Ivy that she has hired a private investigator to help her locate her grandson but that she doesn't want Jack to know because of the cost. Later in the day the P.I., Gordon Hastings, calls Bettabuys and Vera meets with him to learn that he has traced her grandson and his mother, Andreah, in Edinburgh. Vera gives him a cash advance and insists that he get up there to try and find them as soon as possible. Hastings says he will leave that very night. "Cases like yours are what make my work worthwhile," he says while folding a handful of currency and cramming it into a jacket pocket in a lovely little throwaway bit o'irony.

Upon returning to Bettabuys Vera is optimistic but has her parade rained on by Poison Ivy. Ivy is cranky because she has just learned from Sally (who drops more clangers in these days on Coronation Street than the New York Philharmonic Percussion Section) that Martin is going to work and Sally will be babysitting the Platt kiddies. Ivy bitterly wonders why she wasn't consulted. Vera, who was just moments before wistfully noting that she's never even seen a *picture* of her only grandchild, tells Ivy that she would give *anything* to have her absent grandson being cared for right in her own street by Sally Webster!

Derek is very pleased with his managerial exploits during the time business owner Victor Pendlebury has been away, but now that The Boss is back Victor can only seem to notice all the little things done incorrectly - lights left on where the sign says "Please shut off lights" and doors ajar bearing signs saying "Have you closed the door?" Nevertheless, he waxes enthusiastic about his recent Jungle Training Executive Training Session (he is amusingly wearing an olive drab survival vest over his grey business suit). He says they went on a real commando mission, only instead of using bullets they used paint. Derek jokingly invites Victor around to do their living room, then, only to be told in no uncertain terms that it's "NOT A JOKE!". Victor thinks the session is just what Derek needs to train him to "defend the market base, attack the enemy!" Derek is far more dubious and instead tries to get Victor to read his report which outlines his 1992 business plan for Pendleburys, and Victor finally grudgingly agrees to read it through that night, after all, he notes dismissively, it's only, what, four pages? Derek is disappointed with Victor's lukewarm reaction that night as he discusses the situation with Mavis, but remains optimistic that Victor will be won over by his brilliant report (it's quality, not quantity, that counts, he reminds Mavis, still stinging over the "four pages" remark) and that perhaps there will even be a pay rise in it for him, and a trip to Paris for Dirk and the Mave! Oh dear; SOPOD (Soap Opera Phrase of Doom)!

Kev, eager to be a full partner in the garage and have some responsibility and power, convinces Mike Baldwin to give him the duty of renegotiating a service contract which has come up for renewal. It appears he may have bitten off more than he can chew when the company's negotiator, Jack Halliwell (any relationship to Geri one wonders?) not only isn't interested in giving MVB more favourable terms on the contract, which Kevin says they are being underpaid for, but none too subtly requests a £1,000 bribe for re-awarding the contract to MVB motors. It looks like the bonus Mike promised Kev if he could get them a better deal on the contract may evaporate, and at just the wrong time, since Gail tells Sally that with Alma now planning on selling her share of the cafe and leaving Weatherfield, Sally's babysitting job - which she has already resigned from the shop to take - may evaporate as well.

ronniecat

Gordon Hastings: STEPHEN MACKENNA Victor Pendlebury: CHRISTOPHER COLL Jack Halliwell: WILLIAM ILKLEY
Written by PHIL WOODS Directed by SARAH HARDING

Wednesday (3334, Monday 20 January 1992)

Gail and Martin are starting their day by delivering David and Sara-Lou to Sally's, but before they arrive, Sally complains to Kevin about chucking-in her job at the Corner Shop to babysit the Platt children, only to learn that the arrangement could be cancelled soon because of Alma's plans to leave Weatherfield. Kevin moans to Sally about Jack Halliwell demanding a thousand quid up front to renew the fleet contract, but Sally has little people on her mind, and assures Kevin that when Mike finds out about this monkey business, he will undoubtedly put a stop to it.

Derek is saying his goodbyes to Mavis at the Kabin as he heads off to work. He's excited about presenting his report to Victor Pendlebury, and after he leaves, Mavis unwittingly amuses Rita by waxing eloquent on Derek's virtues. She's proud of his loyalty to the company, in spite of the fact that he and Victor used to be rivals.

On the street, Jim MacDonald tells Kevin that he has to take Steve to his solicitor to discuss his defence in the car-radio thefts. Kevin tells him of Jack Halliwell's scam, and how he made it clear to Kevin that he expected his pockets to be lined if MVB Motors is to get the fleet contract renewed. He concludes by insisting to Jim that Halliwell won't be getting what he wants.

Gail is again chiding Alma for her plans to leave Weatherfield for unknown parts, pointing out that she'll be leaving friends and neighbours behind. When Phyllis tries to draw them into a gossip session about Des and Racquel (or "Rack-well" as Phyllis pronounces her name), Gail impatiently dismisses her. It's clear that Alma wants to start a new life, "away from Mike Baldwin."

At Bettabuys, Vera tells Ivy that she's knackered because she was up at the crack of dawn to talk to the milk-man. She wanted to ask him if he could remember when the Claytons moved, but as it turned out, it was a substitute milk-man, so Vera could have stayed in bed. Coincidentally, Ivy remembers because it all happened at the same time that she was getting engaged to George Wardle -- in July, l985. Ivy cautions Vera on proceeding with her search for her grandchild, as the mother may not want Vera involved in the child's life, but Vera's attitude is that it's "her" grandchild, and the mother's feelings have no bearing on this situation.

Jim MacDonald is suited-up and very professional-looking, so he is disgusted to find Steve disconsolately perched on the stairwell, dressed in his blue jeans and an old sweatshirt for the appointment with the solicitor. A lecture follows on the impression clothes can make, but Liz interrupts and reminds Jim that there's no time for Steve to change.

At the garage, Kevin tells Mike that Jack Halliwell wants a £1,000 to assure another contract, and is shocked when Mike laughs it off and informs him that Jack will eventually find someone to do the dirty as well as get a cut rate on the repairs -- which could ultimately mean that Mike's garage would go out of business. Kevin's sense of decency is insulted when Mike explains that they'll give Jack his money and then get it back by padding the bills to his company. Kevin is incensed that any sort of business is conducted this way, but Mike makes it clear that they have no other option, except perhaps to close the garage.

At lunch, Kevin complains again to Sally about his role in the blackmail business, while Sally complains about the babies keeping each other awake. Upshot: no one is listening to anyone's problems.

Steve and Jim arrive back from the solicitor's office, and Jim tells Liz that the solicitor feels that Steve will probably get off with a fine. He sends Steve off to open the bike shop, and then confides to Liz that he found it worrisome that Steve is acting as though he wants to be punished more harshly.

Mavis obviously has Derek on her mind at the Kabin, and asks Rita if she believes in ESP. She tells Rita that she often feels that she and Derek are invisibly connected, even when they're miles apart, and at that particular moment, she's sure that Victor is congratulating Derek on his report.

As it turns out, Mavis is correct, for at that very moment, Victor is congratulating Derek on his report, which he regards as being concise, accurate, and especially insightful when he referred to cutting back, streamlining, and laying off unnecessary staff. Derek's rather smug acceptance of these compliments quickly crumbles, and he is hoisted on his own petard when Victor tells him he's going to act on the recommendations immediately -- by laying off Derek!

Back at the Platts' home, Martin enthuses about his first day at the hospital, even though he jokes that he preferred changing nappies. Gail breaks the news that Alma is going to an estate agent in the morning to put the cafe on the market. Martin blames Alma's actions on that "scheming little toad, Mike Baldwin."

Meanwhile, the "scheming little toad" is across the road at the Rover's Return, complimenting Alec on his newest addition to the bar staff (Racquel). Racquel is pouring a pint for Curly, and as she serves it, she asks if he's still angry with her. Curly reassures her that there are no hard feelings. Seconds later, Jack asks Curly if he can put more overtime Vera's way, and is a little surprised to learn that Vera hasn't done any overtime since before Christmas.

As Derek struggles into the living room with a box of belongings he brought home from the office, Mavis witters about the report and how pleased Victor must have been with it. It takes a few moments for her to understand that Derek has been made redundant, and even then she'd like to believe that it's all just some sort of silly joke on Victor's part.

Kevin and Sally are unwinding after a long day of axle grease and baby-minding, and Kevin is still disturbed about the pay-off demanded by Jack Halliwell. Sally wants Kevin to listen to his own conscience, and to do whatever makes him feel honourable, but Kevin justifiably reminds her that they still have bills to pay and a mortgage.

At the Corner Shop, Deirdre tears a strip off Mike for playing fast and loose with Alma's feelings, and points out that Gail and others will suffer if Alma pulls up stakes and leaves town. Mike is angered by the attack, and claims that he loves Alma. When Deirdre makes it clear that more than a few people wish that he was the one leaving, he indignantly throws a handful of change on the counter and leaves. As he climbs into his car, Kevin intercepts him to tell him he'll go along with Halliwell's scheme, even though he doesn't like it. Mike sarcastically yells that he's grateful to "everyone" for their approval, but Kevin ignores the outburst and walks toward the pub.

Heather Morlan

Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by IAN WHITE

Thursday (3335, Wednesday 22 January 1992)

Derek is at loose ends today. Determined to write a fresh C.V. to take him into the future, he spends the day sunk in a funk, depressed, lost and self pitying as he contemplates his past career highs and lows. He sups a half at the Rovers and offends Jim and Steve (more on that later) and ends up crawling to Mavis and asking her to go to Victor on his behalf. He just wants his job back!

Vera is shaving the ends off the grocery bill and contemplating selling her car, asking Kevin to keep an ear out for a likely buyer. (All this to pay the private investigator's fees) She repeats to Ivy how important it is to her to at least know her little grandson is all right and lies to Jack about working overtime. But Don blows the whistle on that and puts a flea in Jack's ear about Vera having a fella by reminding him of Lester Fontayne. Jack discovers that Lester is playing a club in town and when Kevin lets slip about Vera wanting to sell her car, he's more sure than ever that she's having a fling!

Kevin reluctantly pays Halliwell the bribe for the maintenance contract, reluctantly and filled with bitterness and resentment (he does that so well!) He is short with Mike (now THERE'S a p***ing contest for you! Who's shorter, Kevin or Mike? LOL) and Sally is evasive when Gail spots the tension between the Websters and Mike. Mike also gets snarled at by Gail over Alma's imminent departure. Deirdre tells Ken about Alma leaving and Ken has a go at Mike too, albeit behind his back but when did that ever stop Ken?

Steve and Jim seem to be at loggerheads these days. He discovers Steve botching a job on a bike and Steve wonders why he even bothers but asks his father testily to show him the right way to do it then. But before Jim can, Derek wanders in. Derek is muttering about neighbourhoods and some sort of nonsense before he comes to the reason for his visit. He wants to wish good luck for the court case tomorrow but he really puts his foot in it when he comments that the courts will likely be lenient when they find out the other tragedy in the little family's recent past and decide that they've been punished enough. That's enough to make Steve run out and Jim threaten to thump Derek for his insensitivity. Steve goes home and has to be reassured by his mother that he isn't the black sheep and unfavoured son. He finally admits he's scared about the court case and seeks comfort in his mother's arms.

The best scene is Jack behind the bar, and Des, Martin and Kevin huddled together on the other side of the bar, all four gazing longingly at Raquel fluttering to and fro serving customers and congratulating Des on his good fortune to have landed such a stunning bird!

Gail and Martin leave the cafe at the end of the day as Alma sees the estate agent out the door, A few minutes later alma gets another visitor. Mike. He presents her with the lease on the building, signed over to her name. She lets him in and attempts to find out why. He professes his love but knows a bit of paper isn't going to win her over. She'll only come back to him when she's ready and not before. He's done it so that she won't leave town and stop here where she belongs. He promises he'll get her back in the end and the credits roll as Alma looks at him with an expression that shouts "Eck as like, you will!"

Diane Johnston

Frank Halliwell WILLIAM ILKLEY
Written by FRANK COTTRELL BOYCE Directed by IAN WHITE

Friday (3336, Friday 24 January 1992)

Steve has his day in court. He pleads guilty and his solicitor asks for leniency, citing his age, first offence and how sorry he is. She reckons it is his first offence and his last (HA!) Steve gets off with just a £100 fine but Jim is livid when he finds out that the case has been dropped against the two lads who stole the radios due to some inconsistencies in the case.

Alma shows Gail the deed transfer but Gail is dismayed when Alma indicates that she's still selling up. Kevin is still grizzling over the bribe and hates the dishonesty of padding the bill to the company they're doing the maintenance for, in order to make up the £1,000. Sally suggests he take his complaint to the police as it's probably illegal. (Can you say "No proof"? The only paper trail is going to point right to Kevin for bill-padding. There isn't any proof of the kickback!)

Derek finally allows Mavis to go to Victor and use her influence to get his job back. Mavis does not plan to beg but will speak her mind. Victor, however, is immune to her charms and is impatient with Mavis to the point of rudeness, refusing from the get go to give Derek back his job. He insults Derek, calling him useless and citing Derek's illusions of competency! (That Victor is brighter than i gave him credit for ! ) Mavis accuses Victor of being jealous of Derek for winning her hand. It comes as a devastating blow to her ego when Victor assertively states that she means absolutely nothing to him anymore and in fact, he wonders what he ever saw in her! Mavis is crushed but spares Derek the gory and humiliating details when she tells him the bad news. Derek looks to the future with a gloomy view indeed.

Jack overhears Vera making plans to meet up with the P.I. and he tells Don he's going to follow her. If it really is Lester Fontayne, Jack plans to tear Lester's wig into little hairy bits and shove it down his throat! (It's too funny, you know, Jack is long suffering when it comes to Vera, insulting her and wishing her far far away most of the time but she IS his wife and what's his is his, right?) Anyway, Vera meets Hastings who allows her to buy him several drinks. He's not overly fussed when Jack barges in shouting abuse, affably inviting Squire Duckworth to have a seat while he brings Vera up to date on the investigation. Seems he traced the Claytons to Edinburgh and now he's on his way to Exeter, very close to the goal, he says. He asks Vera for the next installment on his expenses but Jack snatches the notes from Vera's hand and drags her out, loudly insisting that Hastings is a fraud and cheating Vera out of her hard earned money for nowt.

Turns out he's right, too. When they get home he proves it. He ran into Harry Clayton about a year ago when he was on a darts tournament and asked after the family and Terry's son. Vera fears Jack is going to tell her the baby died but no, that's not it and she begins to get excited when she finds out they live a mere 10 miles away and have done since they moved from Coronation Street. (Edinburgh, my eye!) Bad news, though. Andrea had the baby adopted though it was against her parents' wishes. She wanted to give the baby a chance at a better life. The baby's name was Paul though it could be changed now. Jack reminds Vera they can't trace a child that's been adopted. Vera is broken hearted to realize that she'll never see her grandson. Jack gently tells her he never said anything to her because he didn't want to get her upset and he holds her hand to comfort her. (when the chips are down, he really does love her!!)

Diane Johnston

Gordon Hastings STEPHEN MACKENNA Miss Cassidy LIZ STOOK Clerk of the Court STEVE DIXON
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by IAN WHITE


Originally transmitted: 27, 29 & 31 January; 3 & 5 February 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 26 - Friday 30 July 1999
Episode Numbers: 3337 - 3341

Monday (3337, Monday 27 January 1992)

Kevin is down in the dumps about having to be creative about the invoices. Sally still thinks he should go to the police, beggar the job, they'll get by if he loses it. Later Jim tells Kevin about Steve's court case and his anger about the real culprits getting off via a legal loophole. That's the way of the word, Kevin, me son, the villains get away with it and the rest of us mugs end up with the mucky end of the stick. This of course gives Kevin some food for thought which he nearly chokes over later when he has to pass over the dodgey invoices to the fleet driver. He moans and sighs to Sally later, but refuses to go to the police because the only evidence points directly to him. He's the one made out the false invoices and paid over the bribe and you just know Baldwin would sell him down the river in a heartbeat! (Fine, then, just suck it up and move on already!!!!)

Derek bounces into the kitchen this morning, full of optimism and plans. He predicts Victor's imminent downfall without him and plans to take this redundancy as and exciting new opportunity. But he has no idea what's next yet. Still, that's the beauty of it. Mavis lets Rita assume that Victor tried to take liberties with her when she went to see him about Derek's job. Later however, Derek announces plans to take Victor to a tribunal for wrongful dismissal, citing the lecherous Victor's obvious jealousy towards Derek for his victory winning Mavis' hand. This, of course, sends Mavis into apoplexy and she admits to Rita that Victor humiliated her by his revelations that he no longer has feelings for her and in fact, doesn't know what he ever saw in her! Rita is sympathetic for once, rather than cracking a sarky remark. Still, Victor DID once lust after Mavis so it could still be used, couldn't it? Mavis won't have it though and is afraid that Derek only finds her attractive because he believes another man lusts after her madly. Back home, Mavis refuses to participate in the tribunal. She couldn't bear having their private life laid out across the tabloids. Derek feels the tribunal would believe her word over Victor's but Mavis insists that their marriage would never be the same. Their marriage is worth much more than money from Victor Pendlebury and Derek sees reason and backs down. Mavis is content to let Derek go on believing that he has what Victor wants most in the world...her!

Vera has sentimental hopes of her little grandson seeking them out when he grows up but Jack feels they ought to put it out of their minds now. Not in a million years is Vera's response but Jack reminds her that at least the adoptive parents would have really wanted the baby and will give him a good life. Vera later tells Ivy about the adoption and reminds her friend how lucky she is to have her grandkids across the road. Ivy actually says she does feel lucky and proposes a night out to Bingo for the two of them to cheer up Vera.

In a truly bizarre scene we discover that Ken Barlow has taken up jogging!!! Apparently to get in shape to referee an under-15 football match. (more likely getting into a hospital bed after going from years of propping up the bar in the Rovers over his newspaper to running the cobbles!)

There is more Mike-moaning from Alma who is looking the deed-gift horse in the mouth and is sure Mike wants something from her. There's go to be a catch even if it's just a tax dodge. She is so curious that she decides to go see the horse in person. He tries to convince her that he really doesn't want anything in return, a first for him, she decides. She wonders if it's her gratitude he wants when he says he just thought it would make her happy. No, he declares. He doesn't want her gratitude. He wants her to be his wife! (Arugh???) He loves her and he asks her to marry him, what does she say? She says nothing but reels in shock!

Diane Johnston

Fleet Van driver PAUL BUTTERWORTH
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by DAVID RICHARDS

Tuesday (3338, Wednesday 29 January 1992)

Poor Derek is having a hard time of it. First he expresses his unhappiness with Mavis now being 'the breadwinner', then he must hear that she is thinking of taking on extra shifts in Alf's shop in order to tide them over. Finally he receives in the mail a separation form from his former workplace and adding insult to injury he also receives word to turn in the company car - unless he wants to buy it for the "special discount price" of £5,000 ! Later in the shop Mavis tells Rita she doesn't understand why Derek is so upset about losing the company car - he seems more upset about that than losing his job! Rita points out that to some men cars are symbols of their masculinity, and that Derek is feeling particularly emasculated just now.

In the pub at lunchtime Derek must fend off the friendship of Percy Sugden, who says helpful things about how the important thing is not letting one's mind go to seed ("I'm not retiring!" insists Derek, although Percy isn't listening) and how hobbies are essential. In fact, Percy himself took up bowling. Would Derek like to go? Percy could teach him how. In the evening back at the house Derek gloomily expresses to Mavis his fears that this will be his future - bowling with Percy Sugden! However he has decided what he must to do forestall that eventuality - he wants to buy a car! Mavis points out that they can hardly afford one, but Derek is insistent - he'll never get another job if he shows up at interviews on a bicycle! As for how to afford it, he proposes selling their insurance polices, a suggestion which Mavis greets with horror. She tells him that they may have to face the fact that he may never get another job - and that insurance money is their protection.

Ken manages to utterly embarrass himself and his teenage daughter on several levels today. First he is being seen around school with a teacher who Tracy and her friend speculate might be a potential girlfriend. ("She's only in her twenties!" protests Tracy to which her mate replies "My dad's girlfriend is eighteen!") Then he calls out to and chastises dishy (well, Tracy thinks so) Mark Jackson just as she is getting up the nerve to ask him out. Then while refereeing a soccer match he pulls his back. Ken's day ends with that same attractive teacher giving him a lift home and seeing him up the stairs to his flat as he winces unconvincingly.

As for the major storyline right now, as the day starts we discover that Sally has been up half the night. She is now the one who is fretting over Mike Baldwin's shady garage dealings since Kevin scared her silly the night before, reminding her that the only paper trail leads to him! Kevin tells her things will be alright as long as they keep their mouths shut, and as Gail comes by to drop off the kids, he reminds Sally again "not a word". (Soap Opera Phrase of Doom!) Gail can see that Sal is definitely out-of-sorts and tells her that if there is a problem, she can be "very discreet", the absolute and utter untruth of which statement will soon become evident. A distraught Sal tells Gail about Mike's way of doing business (agreeing to pay a bribe to get a contract and then recouping the bribe money by padding the invoices to the company in question).

Later in the cafe Alma reveals to Gail and Audrey that Mad Mike Baldwin has proposed to her. She claims that she is not in the least interested in his offer. Over lunch in the Rovers, Gail (the "soul of discretion", you recall) tells Audrey that she is unsure that Alma will resist Mike's advances. She reveals that she knows something very bad about Mike which could sway Alma's opinion of him and affect her decision. Audrey tells Gail that if she does know something, in spite of the fact that Gail says she is "sworn to secrecy", she should tell Alma as a friend.

Back in the cafe Alma tells Gail that Mike came by to reiterate his offer of matrimony. While insisting she is not interested in a reconciliation, Alma wistfully admits that she used to love Mike very much. Gail panics, and thinking that Alma's resolve might be weakening, she proceeds to tell Alma what Sally told her in confidence. Later when going home with Martin and the kids, Gail tells Martin that she has betrayed a confidence and is very worried about the trouble she may cause.

Right she is to worry, because Alma goes straight over to see Mike. She asks Mike to repeat his marriage proposal ("Do you want me to go down on one knee?" he asks, doing just that). Alma then wonders aloud if Mike knew how much she used to dream of his doing just that back when they were together. Telling him to get up off his knee, she says that she knows he hasn't changed, because of what he's doing to those poor little Websters, he's got them worried sick with his dodgy business practices! (My draw literally dropped when I heard how cavalierly she told Gail's secret.) "What's that little weasel been saying!" shouts a furious Baldwin. Alma says that her rose-coloured spectacles are now well and truly shattered, notes that she never thanked him for the cafe lease - "Thanks" - and walks out on a fuming Mike Baldwin.

ronniecat

Debbie Dawson: JENNIE SEXSMITH Gillian James: ANNETTE EKBLOM Mark Jackson: JAMIE GILL
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by DAVID RICHARDS

Wednesday (3339, Friday 31 January 1992)

Derek's still at loose ends after losing his job, and tries to convince Mavis that he needs a car to project an "executive image," but she realistically reminds him that they simply can't afford £5,000 to buy the lease car from Pendlebury's. He even considers becoming self-sufficient by turning their lawn and patio into a garden and small farm; Mavis doesn't take this suggestion seriously at all.

Phyllis is forced to buy her groceries on the tick at the Corner Shop, and confesses to Audrey that she hasn't been paid for her work at Des' place because Racquel seems not to remember this small detail. While she's behind one of the shelves, Racquel comes in and buys a large box of chocolates, telling Audrey that they're for Phyllis. When Phyllis steps forward to let Racquel know she's there, Racquel also presents her with the change from the chocolates, causing Phyllis to admit that Racquel isn't as bad as she initially thought.

Gail and Alma are still at loggerheads over the future of the Cafe. When asked, Alma informs Gail that she told Mike that she wouldn't marry him if he were the last man -- and she's still determined to sell the Cafe and leave town.

Mike Baldwin arrives at his garage, intent on speaking to Kevin, but they're interrupted by Derek, who has a long list of attributes he requires in the car he wishes to purchase -- for £1,000. Kevin informs him that it just can't be done for such a small price.

Reg Holdsworth continues to make Rita's life a misery, and this time when he pops into the Kabin, he proposes that they get involved with bowling! Rita won't hear of it, but Phyllis, who has overheard the conversation, offers to go in her stead, causing Reg to sputter a few excuses before quickly leaving.

Ken conducts one of his English classes, and as he pretends to be Troy, returning his sword to his scabbard, he is gripped by a muscle cramp.

At the Rover's Return, Percy is making a pest of himself by going on at length about the amount of money Derek and Mavis are spending for their cheese sandwiches when they could buy the groceries, eat at home, and save a few bob. He even makes a crack about Derek living off the earnings of a woman, causing Derek to suggest that Percy "push off."

Mike returns to the garage for a chat with Kevin, and warns him that if there's any trouble with Halliwell and the fiddled invoices Kevin is submitting, it will all be down to Kevin. He also cautions Kevin that half the street seems to know what's going on, so Kevin had better tell Sally to keep her mouth shut. Naturally, Kevin goes straight home and tears a strip off Sally for telling Gail about their problems. Sally apologizes several times, and Kevin finally settles down.

Back at school, Mrs. Jeffers reminds Ken of a parents' meeting the following Tuesday. Ken assures her that his medical problem is simply a cramp, and will be better in no time.

Mavis is perusing one of the magazines at the Kabin, and suggests that Rita take a cruise to get away from Reg Holdsworth -- who arrives at that very moment to pursue his initial conversation about bowling. Rita says no to the idea again. Derek comes in the shop and Reg suggests that he might fit in well at Bettabuys, and promises to call him if something comes up.

Vera arrives home, looking very glum. She tells Jack that as far as she's concerned, her life is a "tragedy" because she won't ever meet her grand-son.

Racquel is crying when Des gets home from work. She's just learned that the agency she worked for has gone out of business, so there's no chance of ever getting the pay she was owed. This means she won't be able to give Des the money she owes him, and she thinks she ought to move out, although Des makes it clear that he wants her to stay.

At the Rover's Return, Vera wonders out loud to Ivy if there's any possibility that her grand-son will someday want to locate her, but Ivy isn't encouraging. Martin comes in and tells Vera that there's someone outside who wants to see her -- and it turns out to be Vera's son, Terry. He's offered pints from several people, but instead he wants to have a private word with Vera at her house. Martin, meanwhile, sits at a table with Kevin, and begins to joke about his (Kevin's) problems, but Kevin rather rudely tells him to shut up.

Over at the Duckworth's, Terry asks his mom why someone was snooping around, trying to get information on Andrea. When Vera explains that she initiated a search for her grand-son, and that she eventually learned that Terry's son was put up for adoption, Terry couldn't care less. Instead, he brags about his new job in "customer control," and shows her a picture of his newest flame, Lisa. He wants to bring her around to meet his parents, but he doesn't want her to know about Andrea, the child, or about the trouble he got into in his younger days.

Derek confides to Mavis that he used to fantasize about being a weaver, and comes up with the outrageous suggestion that they move to the Hebrides. Mavis tells him of Rita's desire to get away from Reg Holdsworth, and this leads Derek to comment that the Kabin must represent a little gold-mine to Rita. He suddenly realizes that perhaps two birds could be killed with one stone -- Rita might be persuaded to sell them the Kabin in order to get out of Weatherfield and away from Reg, and that would give Derek and Mavis a small business of their own to run together.

Jack nips home for a few minutes to tell Terry that there are several pints waiting for him back at the bar, but Terry isn't interested. Instead, Vera tells Jack about Terry's new girlfriend, Lisa, and of his posh new position in "customer control" -- which Jack immediately translates as "bouncer." She also tells Jack that Terry doesn't want Lisa to learn about his past. Terry summarizes by telling his father that if he keeps his silence, he won't end up in the hospital, leaving Jack with an angry expression on his face.

Heather Morlan

Mrs. Jeffers: ROMY BASKERVILLE
Written by PHIL WOODS Directed by DAVID RICHARDS

Thursday (3340, Monday 3 February 1992)

Today's episode might be aptly titled, "Plans and Apologies"

First the apologies!

Sally's apologized to Kevin for telling Gail about the dealings with Mike. Kevin is back to his usual self (well, that might be good or bad, depending on your point of view! ) He's even found a double baby buggy for Sally and fixed it up. Gail makes it up with Sally for telling Alma about the same dealings and Alma apologizes to Kevin for dropping him in it with Mike.

Ken spends the day dragging his sorry sprained b... b.... back (what did you think i was going to say! LOL) around the street and the school causing concern from Tracy and the head mistress. Ken is getting short tempered from both the pain and all the advice and concern he's getting from everyone else.

Vera's dead chuffed that Terry's bringing Lisa for tea though Jack is only hoping this visit isn't going to cost him an arm and a leg. Ivy reminds Vera of some of the high jinks Terry's got up to on the past but Vera is sure he's changed.

Alma has received the valuation for the cafe and though we don't find out the exact figure, it's much less than expected. That's it then, isn't it? Gail assumes there's an end to Alma's plans to take off to parts unknown. Au contraire! Alma's new plan is to take off anyway and leave Gail to run the business. Alma can live off the rent since she now owns the lease. Gail is furious! She's determined not to slave away all day to keep Lady Muck in a style to which she would rapidly become accustomed. She warns Martin that she'll pack it in first!

Derek's enthusiasm today is focussed on his newest plan to buy the Kabin and run it with Mavis. He charges Mavis to soften up Rita to the idea through the day and they'll have her over for dinner tonight to propose the idea. Delicately of course! Mavis thinks half her work is already done when Rita expresses how tired she is of the early mornings and busy rushes. Mavis subtly raises the subject of country cottages suitable for a peaceful retirement. At home, Derek fusses over his cooking and frets over the success of this dinner party.

Rita enjoys the meal and the company very much but it soon becomes evident that Derek's plan has backfired. Rita's got the wrong end of the stick and has assumed that it's Mavis and Derek planning on doing the retiring. When Derek gently corrects her, she is quick to take offence. How dare they assume she's ready for the geriatric ward! Mavis and Derek sputter and back pedal but Rita's red wigged temper flies and by the time she storms out, Mavis is sacked! Mavis and Derek have truly had the wind knocked out of their sails!

Diane Johnston

Debbie Dawson JENNY SIXSMITH Mrs. Jeffers ROMY BASKERVILLE
Written by MARTIN ALLEN Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Friday (3341, Wednesday 5 February 1992)

Derek has persuaded a very reluctant Mavis to show up at the Kabin this morning despite her belief that she no longer has a job there. Derek says he thinks Rita was joking when she told Mavis she was sacked but Mavis is convinced she was angry enough to mean it. She points out that in their bid to offer to buy the Kabin, they managed to make it sound as though they believed Rita to be too old and senile to go on running the shop. Derek says he doesn't wish to be "pedantic", but it *was* at Mavis' suggestion that he formed the impression that Rita was considering retirement in the first place. Ever chivalrous, he offers to share the blame anyway and accompany Mavis to see Rita. Instead of kicking him in the shins, Mavis expresses her gratitude with a hug!

Phyllis arrives at the Corner Shop just as Audreh is unlocking the door. She explains that she has a few minutes to kill before she is due at Des' and she doesn't like to be early in case he and Raquel are "busy". As the two enter the shop, they hear Ken knocking from upstairs. At first, Audreh dismisses the noise but at the third knock, she goes up with her key to investigate, leaving Phyllis to mind the shop until Deirdre arrives.

In the Kabin, Derek and Mavis stand contritely before a stone-faced Rita and stutter their apologies for what they call a "miscalculation" and a "misunderstanding". After listening to them for a minute, she can bear it no longer and orders Derek from the shop and Mavis behind the counter. Derek almost runs out while Mavis scurries to take her place. She starts to reiterate an apology but Rita tells her they'll talk later, to "just get back there and get that kettle on"!

Audreh has discovered Ken flat on his back in bed, in agony and utterly unable to get up. Before long, Phyllis joins them, wanting to "see what a man's bedroom looks like", as she explains. She asks Ken what's up and when he tells her it's his back, she jokes about what he's been getting up to in his spare time. Unfortunately, Ken doesnít feel much like jokes at present. The two women discuss calling a doctor but they agree an ambulance would respond faster. Ken is embarrassed to tell them that he has nothing on underneath the covers and Phyllis raises an eyebrow to gleefully observe, "Oh - you sleep in the nude!" Again, Ken has to disappoint her - he was just unable to get into his pajamas last night! Despite Phyllis' kind offer to help him dress, he requests that Deirdre be sent for from down below. Audreh obligingly goes to get her but stops to take Phyllis along as she "daren't" leave her alone with Ken! (LOL!)

Discussing tonight's tea for "R Turry" and Lisa, Vera tells Jack that she plans to serve a variety of foods so that Lisa's sure to like something from the selection. Jack thinks the chippie's would do just as well and there would be no dishes to clean that way. But Vera is adamant - she's pleased that Turry has found a good job and a nice girl and wants to do her best to make a good impression. When Jack cracks that if they'd been responsible parents they'd have stamped a warning on Terry's forehead, Vera counters that she'd better come home to find the place clean and him in a suit!

Back in the Corner Shop, Deirdre is indignant at Ken's request. Audreh pleads with her that Ken can't be sent to hospital stark naked and Phyllis tries an appeal on the basis that she is his wife. Angrily, Deirdre tells Phyllis that if she is so concerned about Ken's dignity, *she* can do the honours and besides, she no longer considers herself his wife! "But it wouldn't be right for me to see all his little bits and pieces", Phyllis adjures. (LOL!!!) "Besides, you've seen them all before". Audreh interjects that Ken is expecting her and Deirdre looks helplessly from one to the other before she grudgingly agrees to go up and help Ken.

Martin pops into the Kabin with a booklet for Gail. It's the agreement she and Alma signed when they became partners and she's very relieved that he found it.

Deirdre has helped Ken into his pajamas by now and seeing how helpless he really is, she isn't resentful any longer. She offers to get his toothbrush and shaving kit in case he has to stay overnight but he assures her that won't be necessary. When he flinches in pain at the exertion of moving slightly, she overrules him and goes to prepare an overnight bag "just in case".

In the Rovers, Betty and Jack are discussing what hazards bad backs can be. Jack says he's read that the pain is mostly psychological but Alec overhears and interrupts to say psychology has less to do with it than shiftless employees trying to take advantage of kind hearted bosses! Just then the phone rings and Alec goes to answer. Raquel tells him she is feeling poorly but Alec dismisses the claim until she tells him the reason. We only hear Alec's end of the conversation but it's safe to assume she gives a feminine complaint as the reason. He immediately changes gear and tells her to stop at home. As he returns to the bar, Betty and Jack question him about the call. Betty is incredulous that Alec believed the story but he defends himself by saying that he wasn't about to argue the matter!

When Alma arrives back at the Cafe after a trip to the Cash and Carry, Gail smugly informs her that she's had a look at their partnership agreement. It states that if one of them quits the partnership, they both have to sell up. In that case, they would both be losers, asserts Gail, convinced that Alma will now change her mind. To Gail's utter exasperation, Alma still insists that she wants to leave the cafe behind!

In the hospital, Ken has been made as comfortable as possible. Along comes Martin to take him to X-ray and tell him an anecdote about a man whose back went out suddenly and without explanation. Seems the man's back started bothering him as he was leaving the house of a mate one day. Ken's interest is piqued and Martin continues the story. "He was leaving after a tryst with the mate's wife and his back suddenly started acting up when the mate cracked him one!" Ken's mind is momentarily off his pain as he laughs at the joke. (Much more than it deserved, I thought.)

Vera has laid a very nice table in preparation to meet Turry's new girlfriend and Jack has dressed in his suit as bidden. When Jack tries to sample one of the hors d'oeuvres (to make sure Lisa won't get food poisoning!) Vera smacks it out of his hand. She warns him to be on his best behaviour, no talk of horses, pigeons or dogs! He counters that maybe Lisa would like to put a lead on him and walk him around the park but Vera rejoins, "No woman in her right mind would want to be seen walking with you!"

Mavis is getting ready to leave the Kabin when she comments that Rita's been unusually quiet all day. She wonders if anything is wrong and is surprised to hear Rita acknowledge that she and Derek may have been closer to the truth than she cares to admit by saying she ought to be thinking of retirement. Mavis is startled to hear it and asks if there is something Rita isn't telling her. Before Mavis can get any more "silly ideas" in her head, Rita quells any concerns for her health. Relieved to hear it, Mavis assures Rita that she has a wonderful future ahead of her. With Mavis gone, Rita mumbles to herself that she wishes she could be so sure of that!

The Duckworths have enjoyed a nice tea by all accounts and Lisa says she can't eat another bite. When Terry suggests that he and Jack go for a drink, Jack gets ready for a jaunt to the Legion. Lisa and Vera don't want to be left out and Vera happily suggests that they all go to the Rovers. She and Lisa go up to the bathroom to freshen up while Jack and Terry clear up.

After hours at the Cafe, Alma is getting her tea ready when Martin comes to see her. Reluctant to to be subjected to another lecture, she initially refuses to let him in but relents after he promises to say his piece and be gone in five minutes. Once inside, he makes it a point to say that he is here as her friend and not as Gail's husband. She listens wearily to his arguments as he points out that if she thinks she'll get away from Mike Baldwin by renting a flat in Leeds, she's mistaken. "He'll only sniff you out", says Martin. "And meantime, you'll be throwing away your job and your mates." The only thing she can do is "stand and fight", he urges. She's in a "position of strength" here but what she'll have nothing if she leaves.

In the Rovers, Angie observes Raquel's absence to Curly and speculates that she's "skiving" already. Curly defends Raquel, saying she might genuinely be ill. From behind the bar, Betty suggests to Alec that he get Angie to replace Raquel for the evening but he flatly refuses to consider having "that maniac" behind the bar again! The Duckworths and Lisa come in and Vera proudly informs Alec that Lisa's parents are in the "entertainment" business. Alec's face lights up as he asks the girl what her parents call their act. His enthusiasm dies as she clarifies that her parents run a Bingo on the Golden Mile at Blackpool. Just as Jack puts in an order for drinks, Alec prevails upon him to take Raquel's shift for the evening. Jack tries to excuse himself on the basis that Lisa would be insulted but when she doesn't mind, Terry and Vera join in encouraging him. Grudgingly, Jack assumes his position behind the bar as Terry orders a round for them all.

Martin returns home later than Gail expected him and she chides that if she didn't know better, she'd say he stopped for a drink at the Rovers. To her surprise, Alma has come with Martin. Before Gail can ask, Alma explains that she is here to apologise. She's messed her about and it won't happen again, she promises. She explains that she's now changed her mind and decided to stay on at the Cafe. "Why?", Gail questions incredulously. "Does it matter?" answers Martin. "Let's just say I've seen the light", Alma tells her. Gail is overjoyed to hear it and there's hugs all around.

Mike Baldwin comes into the Rovers and spots Terry at the bar. Mike makes a crack about Terry's criminal past and Terry nervously glances in Lisa's direction before bluffing an answer about Mike not having lost his sense of humour. "Times change", he says with a nod at his new girlfriend. Mike smiles his approval and asks if she is "his", but Terry corrects him, "Lisa is her own girl". As he resumes his seat with his mother and Lisa, Angie and Curly, who are sitting at the table with them, propose a game of darts. Terry agrees but Lisa begs off saying she is tired. As the others get up from the table, Lisa tells Vera that she must have eaten too many vol-au-vents. Vera smiles knowingly and says she doesn't have to pretend with her - she's guessed the truth, that Lisa is pregnant! Admitting that Vera is right, Lisa shyly asks if she is upset. "Upset? I'm o'er the moon!" Vera answers, giving Lisa a warm hug.

Anita Belanger

Terry Duckworth: NIGEL PIVARO Lisa Horton: CAROLINE MILMOE
Written by KEN BLAKESON Directed by BRIAN MILLS


Originally transmitted: 7, 10, 12, 14 & 17 February 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 2 - Friday 6 August 1999
Episode Numbers: 3342 - 3346

Monday (3342, Friday 7 February 1992)

Tracy whines to her mother, nagging her to call the hospital to find out how Ken is today. (Hello? A 15 year old who isn't eager to use the telephone???) Tracy finally does catch a clue and, leaving Deirdre with a bitchy remark about her mother not being Ken's family anymore, decides to call the hospital herself. Later in the corner shop, Deirdre uncomfortably accepts the admiration of Phyllis and Mavis for her Florence Nightingale routine yesterday, above and beyond the normal call of ex-wife duty. She really does want to keep Ken at arm's length but Tracy manipulates her into accompanying her to visit Ken at dinnertime. Ken's pleased to see them both but sends Tracy to the vending machine for tea so that Deirdre can pass him the bedpan.

Terry's relieved that his mother is ok that Lisa's pregnant. Dead chuffed is more like it! After she leaves for work, Terry quickly realizes Jack's not pleased with the situation though Jack does his best to keep a promise to the "trouble and strife" to keep his gob shut and not cause any. (trouble and strife!) But Terry prods and finally Jack admits that he thinks Lisa is trying to trap Terry into marriage. Well he did ask! (funny though, we all know how much Jack disapproves of Terry and i would have thought he would have been far more disapproving of Terry "getting Lisa pregnant" and then not marrying her rather than the opposite, his obvious suspicion of Lisa) In the pub later, Terry pushes his father even further, also mentioning that it is Lisa that's resisting marriage until Jack loses his temper and implies that Lisa will dump Terry once she's had the kids and he'll end up getting the bum's rush same as the last time. Terry charges his father behind the bar, grabbing him by the shirt. Nose to nose, father and son in a screaming match until Alec breaks it up.

Let's take a break from that aggro and cruise around the neighbourhood where Mavis is encouraging Derek to get in touch with an old business contact, sensing that his get up and go has gone up and went. The contact falls through, having been made redundant himself a few months back.

Out on the street, Angie picks up her milk bottle and makes a bitchy remark from across the street in Raquel's direction, making quite sure Raquel knows that she was seen catching the bus yesterday when she was supposedly sick in bed instead of at the Rovers working. Angie later whines to Gail about trying to decide whether to drop someone in it. She'd feel guilty for doing it but also feel bad if she doesn't. Oh what's a girl to do? In the end she doesn't but mightily enjoys smirking at Raquel from across the bar and making Raquel teeter on eggshells wondering if Angie will tell. Not a small feat in them high heels!

Gail jubilantly tells Audrey that Alma has changed her mind (finally! Ye Gods i was sick of all her protesting (too much)) The three of them raise their tea cups in a toast to her future, which, Alma insists, definitely does NOT include Mike Baldwin. Audrey takes this opportunity to play matchmaker and encourages Alma to go visit Ken in hospital.

Ken, who is looking terribly uncomfortable, laying on his side, face mashed into the pillow but can't seem to turn his head to look up at his visitors. Martin stops by on his tea break but by that time, Ken's flat on his back again. Martin casually mentions that Alma isn't leaving after all and this seems to please Ken.

Terry and Lisa are stopped into the garage to visit with Kev and Sally who's there with Rosie and David. They're just saying hello and good bye before they get ready to head back to Blackpool. When Lisa suggests they have time to say good bye to Jack, Terry makes an excuse. They leave and Kevin predicts it won't last, Lisa's too nice! (Meow!) At tea time, they are getting ready to go. Lisa runs upstairs to fetch a few forgotten items. Vera knows instinctively that things did not go well between Terry and his father but Terry won't go into details. She charges Terry to look after Lisa and manages to slip in a quick plea for Terry to do the right thing by Lisa. He lets it by and they leave, avoiding again nipping down to the pub to see Jack. Ivy comes along just as they drive away and catches Vera in an emotional moment.

At the pub, Jack has to endure Alec's bitching about the fight earlier that resulted in a chip to the varnish on one of the chairs. Jack is stoically silent and refuses to argue with Alec, going about his business more industriously than usual so you can tell he's still upset over the whole Terry and Lisa situation. Raquel totters in a few minutes late causing Betty to make a catty remark but Alec smarms and lets Raquel off the hook, "What's a few minutes?" Betty snipes back, "What's a bit of chipped varnish?" in Jack's defense. The point hits its mark and Alec grimaces.

Vera charges into the pub later to tear a strip off Jack before she and Ivy go to Bingo. Alec watches, waiting for another upset but though there's a bit of argy bargy between the two, Vera lets Jack off with a warning. Over in the corner, Audrey is teasing Deirdre about visiting Ken, which Deirdre doesn't plan on doing again, lest Ken get the wrong idea.

Ken, meanwhile, has a major knot in his face as yet another doctor hovers over him, checking his chart. He's not been told anything about his own condition and when he'll be able to go home. The Doctor asks if Ken has any further feeling in his leg (well if his back is so bad that he's lost feeling in a leg, he ought to be in traction !!!) and tells Ken that they won't know anything more until the test results come back in a day or so. Ken sighs in pain, frustration and boredom.

Diane Johnston

Dr. Wakeman DAVID BROSTER
Written by TOM ELLIOTT Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Tuesday (3343, Monday 10 February 1992)

Derek is depressed because he must finally return the company car today. He polishes it to a gleam before returning it, which Mavis explains to Rita is his way of maintaining his dignity. He comes back even more depressed after a day at the Job Centre, where he saw how many people were out of work and most of them far younger than him. Mavis continues trying to keep up a brave front and be supportive.

Andy can't study for his "A" levels at home due to Steve's inconsideration. He heads to the library, where he meets a pretty, pleasant and apparantly studious girl named Paula who is also studying for her "A" Levels. Andy shows her how to operate the microfiche machine.

Vera and Jack disagree on whether Lisa having RTurry's baby is good news or not. Vera is of course delighted; Jack is skeptical. Ivy sticks her oar in while having a drink with them at the Rovers by saying she thinks it's lovely and declaring "that's what we're here for - to procreate!". This further elucidates Ivy's character for me. Vera scoffs that if everyone was like Jack, the human race would have been extinct long ago, to which Jack replies that if everyone was like their Terry, perhaps that wouldn't be such a bad thing!

Ken must have an unpleasant test called a mylogram, in which fluid is injected into his spine, to help diagnose his back problems. After much waffling, Alma goes to visit him in the hospital at Gail's urging. He is genuinely delighted to see her and to have heard that she is not leaving town. As Alma is preparing to leave, Deirdre and Tracy arrive to visit Ken. Alma seems a bit embarassed to have run into them there. For her part Deirdre seems not in the least perturbed to find Alma there, but Tracy clearly is and demands to know "What's SHE doing here?" Deirdre hushes Tracy and says that as a concerned friend there's no reason why Alma wouldn't be visiting Tracy's father in hospital. Later as they are leaving the hospital Tracy points out that Ken clearly cannot take care of himself in his condition and declares that "he'll just have to come and stay with us!" and flounces off, leaving an aghast Deirdre to put her eyes back into her head, wrestle down her neck tendons, pick her jaw up from the floor and rush after her daughter.

Alec gets a postcard from Antigua - well, actually, the card falls into Bet's hands in the morning post, and she is *not* pleased when she reads it. It seems the card is from a Sherry Watkins, a lady Alec met on the cruise. When called on the carpet by Her Ladyship (who at this early hour is wearing a fabulous lavender suit with a purple sequined champagne glass appliqued on the breast! Ye Gods, I love this woman!) Alec protests that Mrs. Watkins was merely a "business contact" whose family business is cruises and who he thought might bring some business their way. Bet is having none of it, noting that on the postcard Sherry refers to the cruise the "holiday of a lifetime" thanks to Alec, and mentions how he cut a fine figure in his tuxedo in the moonlight! (Everyone who didn't immediately think of a penguin when hearing this line and looking at Alec, raise your hand.) Bet is genuinely angry that Alec made her suffer over her near-dalliance with Des Foster when he had his own "guilty little secret"! Alec continues to insist that he did nothing untoward with Sherry Watkins, but Bet points out that she came clean voluntarily about Des while Alec stayed mum about Mrs. Watkins. Alec mutters that Mrs. Watkins had gotten him a six-month cruise on the QEII but he'll now tell her what she can do with it - but Bet is still furious.

ronniecat

Paula Maxwell: JUDY BROOKE
Written by BARRY HILL Directed by JUNE HOWSON

Wednesday (3344, Wednesday 12 February 1992)

Another day begins on Coronation Street, and while Deirdre berates Tracy for using her eye-shadow without first asking, Tracy is more concerned about her dad coming home from hospital with no one to look after him. She complains that she'll have to check on him frequently in his flat, hinting that he should stay with them, but Deirdre is adamant that that won't happen.

At the MacDonald household, Andy is monopolising the bathroom and slathering Steve's "anti-zit stuff" on his face (and it's expensive, and Steve paid for it); when Steve complains to his mom, she wonders if Andy is keen on a girl at school.

In the Corner Shop, Deirdre tells Emily that Ken had a mylogram to determine the extent of his back injury, and that Tracy expects him to convalesce at their house. Emily looks askance when Deirdre makes it clear that she doesn't want Ken as a houseguest, but admits that she understands Deirdre's position when she's reminded that Deirdre has spent the past two years divorcing Ken.

Meanwhile, Dr. Quinn arrives at Ken's bed, and tells him he can avoid surgery, but cautions that he'll need plenty of bed rest, medication, and physiotherapy. When he learns that Ken lives alone, he suggests he'd better find an alternate arrangement or he could end up in even worse shape.

Alec has a long list of chores for Jack to do at the Rover's Return, and Jack remarks to Betty that he's paying for the discord between Alec and Bet. In the back of the pub, Alec and Bet bicker over his need to go to the wholesaler, and ultimately Alec reassures her again that nothing went on while he was away on the cruise ship.

Reg Holdsworth holds forth on retail opportunities and Valentine's Day with Rita, and Mavis complains about Bettabuys choice of "romantic" music on their public address system. After Reg leaves, Mavis bets that Rita will receive a Valentine's Day card from him. Tracy arrives and buys two Valentine's Day cards, giving Rita the opportunity to tease her for having two sweethearts.

Back at the hospital, Ken tells Emily, who is there doing her volunteer duties, that he hopes to be released soon, although there is still a question of where he will stay. Emily points out that he can't stay alone, and insists that Ken must come to her and Percy, against Ken's protestations.

At the Cafe, Mavis confides to Liz that Derek is depressed over his recent job loss, noting how difficult it is for a man of his age to find a new position. When Liz comments that Derek looks younger than his years, which should make his job search a little easier, Mavis visibly perks up, but she slowly loses her composure when she explains that returning the company car seemed to hit Derek hard. In tears, she wonders out loud what they will do, while Liz looks embarrassed and uncomfortable by this display of emotion.

Betty approaches Bet behind the bar and tells her she is confused about a telephone call. It turns out that it's Sherry, looking for Alec, and as he's out, Bet takes the call and asks if she can take a message. At the same time, Alec comes through the front door looking for Jack to help him unload his purchases. When he's told that Bet is on the phone, talking to Sherry, Alec turns around and hastily leaves again, telling his staff "I'm not here, I'm not here."

A grumpy Percy buys mints at the Corner Shop and then rounds on Deirdre, informing her that Emily will once again be doing her "lady of the lamp" performance -- this time for Ken. Even though Deirdre is unaware of these recent arrangements, Percy does his best to lay on the guilt.

Alec tries unsuccessfully to sneak back into the Rover's Return, but Bet quickly confronts him, informing him that his "fancy woman" rang and assumed that the Mrs. Gilroy she was speaking to was Alec's mother. As Alec tries to worm himself out of a bad situation, he explains that during a conversation on the ship, Sherry asked if he was a widower. He said that he was -- referring to the death of his first wife (who was divorced from him at the time!) -- and never had the chance to explain that he'd re-married. Bet is outraged, and keeps repeating in disbelief that Alec told Sherry that she was dead.

Alma and Gail are closing the Cafe for the day, and Gail asks if Alma will visit Ken in hospital again. Alma admits that it was awkward meeting Deirdre and Tracy at the hospital, causing Gail to giggle over the two women visiting him -- one is divorcing him, and the other says she'll never forgive him!

Andy is primping in the bathroom again, this time shaving, while Steve and Tracy compose naughty verses for Valentine's Day cards ("You're dazzling but distant, just like a comet; I think of you, and I want to vomit").

At the library, Andy and Paula do assignments together. When Paula leaves to get a book from the stacks, Andy slips a Valentine's Day card into her book bag.

Back again to the Rover's Return, where Racquel asks Jack what's going on -- Alec's face was a picture of doom when they opened. Jack will only offer that "she found him out." Derek meanwhile sips a beer and moans dramatically to Mavis about his unemployed state. Then he announces that he's going to have to crawl to his ex-wife Angela to find a job.

Alec and Bet are still at odds over Sherry, and Alec wishes that she'd left a telephone number so that he could call her and "put her straight." Bet informs him that Sherry is coming around tomorrow, to have tea, and to meet Alec's mother!

Deirdre sits by Ken's bed for another hospital visit and asks him if it's true that he'll be staying with Emily and Percy when he's released. Ken explains that he doesn't feel that he can do that, but on the other hand, he doesn't have many options either. The doctor made it clear that he can't stay alone, and he knows he'll probably be laid up for several weeks. Deirdre tells him that Tracy had planned on moving into his flat so that she could take care of him, but since that's obviously out of the question, she doesn't feel there's anything else to do but have Ken move in with them. Ken looks surprised and rather pleased by this information.

Heather Morlan

Dr. Quinn: SIMON COWELL-PARKER Paula Maxwell: JUDY BROOKE
Written by JULIAN ROACH Directed by JUNE HOWSON

Thursday (3345, Friday 14 February 1992)

The Valentine's cards are flying fast and furiously, causing no end of havoc in most cases. Liz and Andy are taking the mick out of Steve who's got a couple of cards, one from Victoria Arden. Percy isn't laughing though, he scolds Rita and Mavis for encouraging folk to spend money they haven't got on cards. Meaning of course he's had one from Phyllis but never bothered to buy one for her in return. He later rudely insults Phyllis which has the anticipated results of making her take her drink elsewhere. Audrey has her hands on the anonymous card sent to Alf from his "Britannia" (that was the Widow Barford on that float, remember?) and plans to take it out on Alf's chequebook. Reg is lurking around Rita in the shop and in the pub all day, his voice all soft and romantic because he believes the card he received is from her! (These last two cards were sent by Tracy and Steve) Rita ends the day setting Reg straight once and for all but i don't really think he entirely believes her protests that she had no hand in sending that card. As you will all recall, Andy slipped a card in Paula's bag yesterday and today she approaches him at the library. She stands the card up on the table and hands him one in return. After confirming that the lad she was in the library with the other day is not her boyfriend, they smile shyly at each other and get back to their studies.

Derek's plan to approach Angela for a job at Hawthorne's has Mavis in a state of dismay. When he confirms that he has an appointment to talk to Angela, Mavis drags him back to the privacy of their home to make it clear to him that she does not want him to work for his ex-wife. She's jealous and insecure apparently though she says she trusts Derek but not Angela. Trust? Derek can only see the possibility of employment, maybe his last chance at his age. Mavis tries to back pedal, whining that she'll get used to the idea. Derek promises to put off accepting any offer that might be made until he talks to her first. But in the end, Derek backs out and skips the interview, realizing that his marriage to his lovely (and highly selfish) wife is much more important than a job (and his self esteem!)

Bet is decked out in her best leopard print raincoat, planning to go out for awhile. Alec is expecting Cherie around dinnertime and it looks to him as if Bet is going to make herself scarce for the event. He is dismayed however when he finds out that Bet didn't clarify that she was his wife, not his mother. A bit later, a very expensively dressed and coifed blonde in her apparently early 40's sashays into the pub, asking for Mr. Gilroy in a very posh accent. (Bet's not going to like this, is she?) When Bet returns, facetiously making remarks to Jack about introducing a gal to one's mother before heading to the living quarters, Jack and Raquel brace themselves for the explosion, wishing to be a fly on the wall all the same.

Bet arrives with that bright and chirpy smile on her face to greet Mrs. Watkins who is sat at the table having a drink with Alec. She introduces herself as Mrs. Gilroy and makes a great fool out of Alec by playing up the mother aspect, teasing him about smoking stunting his growth. Cherie is confused at first but seems to twig quickly that Alec was not being up front with her but keeps her council. Alec loses his temper and ends up apologizing to her and clarifying the misunderstanding about the "widowed" remark referring to his first wife and this of course, is his second wife. To her well-bred credit, Cherie merely shakes Bet's hand before making excuses and leaving, much to Alec's embarrassment. He immediately turns it around, accusing Bet of spoiling his chances of making a good business contact that would ultimately benefit them both. (Oh, yeah, like THAT'S why he let Cherie think he was single! Toad!) But Bet knows it was all deliberate and tells the little hypocrite that if he ever tries it again, she won't be the one dead. She'll be on a beach in the Caribbean and he'll be at the bottom of the Manchester Ship Canal watching the fishes cough as they swim by him!!!

Deirdre is resigned but not looking forward to having Ken convalesce in her house, feeling like she was cornered into it by Tracy and general public opinion. She tries to make Tracy understand that it's only temporary, not to read anything more into it. Ken arrives in an ambulance and is strapped to a chair or something when they carry him in. Not the way he always thought he'd come back to No.1.

Diane Johnston

Cherie Watkins CHRISTINA GREATREX
Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by JUNE HOWSON

Friday (3346, Monday 17 February 1992)

This episode begins in the dark of night, 4:00 a.m. to be exact. Ken has spent a restless night on Deirdre's settee and now, in an attempt to reach for the newspaper, he's tumbled out of bed and crashed to the floor. Deirdre comes down to find him helplessly trying to lift himself back into bed. When she tries to assist him, she ends up under his weight on the bed. Tracy comes down and finding her parents in a tangled mess, chuckles at the sight. Deirdre is anything but amused!

In the street, Don has just arrived home after a night in his taxi. He does a second take when he notices the Kabin's lights on but before he can go over to check why, there's the sound of glass smashing and the burglar alarm goes off. Two thugs run from the shop and Don jumps back into his cab to pursuit them.

Mavis and Derek have been awakened by the noise and they swing into action, too. Mavis says she'll go and see that Rita's all right and asks Derek to ring the police. He doesn't think they should jump to conclusions, it could have only been a cat. But Mavis insists and runs out of the house in her robe. In the street, Rita is already staring at the Kabin in disbelief. Jim calls down from his bedroom window for her to stay put, that he'll be right down. Reg shows up in his pajamas and armed with a - (wait for it...) - a soup ladle!!! He ignores Rita's plea to wait outside until the police arrive and bravely enters the shop. Big Jim is next on the scene and he also goes in. Don arrives back and informs Rita and Mavis that he tried to follow the thieves but lost them on Kitchener Street. We hear a crash and a yell from within the Kabin, Jim has taken Reg for the burglars and laid him flat. When Rita switches on the light they find poor Reg slumped on the floor, spectacles askew.

Daylight now and Phyllis arrives at the Cafe just as Alma is opening up. She's just come from seeing Gail and hearing she has the morning off to bring David to the clinic, offers her services to Alma. Unfortunately for Phyllis, Alma has already booked Audreh in to help out so she suggests that Phyllis have a cup of tea and then go home to put her feet up. Disappointed, Phyllis replies that it's hard work that keeps her going, something "young people" like Alma wouldn't appreciate! Alma is so touched at being called a "young" person that she swiftly changes her mind about letting Phyllis help out.

At the McDonald household, Steve, Liz and Jim amuse themselves with cracks about Andy's mystery love life while the poor kid is up in the bathroom splashing after shave all over himself. When he comes down, the teasing begins in earnest, Jim telling him he smells like he showered in the stuff. Andy denies he has a girlfriend and goes off to school somewhat miffed at their ribbing. After he leaves, Liz asks Steve if he has any idea who "this girl" is. He answers that he doesn't but he intends to find out! (The McDonald family get top marks for insensitivity here!)

Mavis has recruited Derek to deliver the Kabin's morning papers, despite Rita's protests that the usual kids could have done it. Percy comes in and agrees that Mavis did the right thing, not wanting any more evidence being disturbed than was necessary. Between the two of them, Mavis and Percy assess that Rita should go home and lie down as they agree she is likely suffering from "post traumatic stress syndrome"! Rita can't stand their fussing over her and assures them again that she's perfectly fine.

In the Corner Shop, Emily and Audreh are sharing a chuckle about Percy's disappointment at not being the first on the scene this morning. Deirdre wonders that the noise from Ken's misadventure didn't wake Emily and Percy. Sensing Deirdre's discomfort with Ken as a houseguest, Emily kindly offers to pay a call in the afternoon and Deirdre gratefully accepts. Once Emily has left the shop, Audreh brings up the question of Ken's stay, whether Tracy isn't getting her hopes up because of it? Deirdre answers with a very worried look...

At this moment, Tracy is lavishing attentions on Ken. As she brings him his soup, she makes a point of saying that her mother's instructions were, "To make sure he wants for nothing". Ken thinks she's stretching the truth just a little but he relishes the thought in spite of himself. Catching himself, he reminds Tracy that this situation is only temporary and that Deirdre was most kind to even have him here to convalesce. He muses about repaying her with a gift once he's up and about which prompts young Tracy to suggest that he should act now rather than wait until he's on his feet to show his gratitude. Ken immediately catches her drift and decides that Deirdre would be more apt to accept a gift from "an invalid" than a well man. (Manipulative snake!!!)

Having tended to Ken's needs, Tracy goes into the Corner Shop on her way back to school to report to Deirdre. Her mother anxiously questions her about Ken's state, everything from what he ate to what they talked about until Tracy gets fed up with "the third degree" and leaves the shop.

Andy and Paula are spending some time together in one of the study halls and discussing their anticipated mock results. Andy tells her he's been tentatively accepted at Sheffield, providing he can achieve two B's and a C. He is delighted to hear that Paula also plans to attend Sheffield.

The police are having a look around the Kabin but to Rita's chagrin, they report there's little hope of catching the thieves. The constable explains to Rita that there have been too many people in and out of the shop by now to dust for fingerprints. She retorts that if the police hadn't waited so long to respond they would have had better luck. Resigned to the defeat, she cynically tells the officer to "just add her to the statistics". Mavis has a word with the constable as he is leaving, making an excuse on Rita's behalf. She is overwrought from the ordeal, as Mavis explains.

The constable is denied a clean getaway as Percy spots him getting into his vehicle. "Pardon me, officer. I happen to be the ëHomewatch Coordinatorí in this neighbourhood and anything you tell me will be in the strictest confidence", he states. The constable says there is nothing to report but tells Percy if he wants to help, he'll advise his friend to get some bars on her windows. They won't prevent break-ins altogether, he says, but they'll certainly slow them down.

Emily has been visiting with Ken and hearing how demoralised he's become (he feels "guilty" and "stupid", he tells her). She gives him a little pep talk about positive thinking. Deirdre comes in just long enough to hand Ken a paper but she has to be off again as Audreh has a "shop full". With Deirdre gone, Emily starts to take her leave but Ken prevails upon her to bring him in the phone and the numbers pad first.

At the McDonalds' again, Steve and Liz persist in bugging Andy about his supposed girlfriend. He remains tight-lipped but when the phone rings, he jumps up to answer it. Poor Andy, it's only Jim, calling for Liz.

In Rita's flat, she and Audreh are having tea and discussing the break-in. Reg has once again seen to the window being repaired and though Rita is grateful for the favour, she wonders what Reg thinks she'll do in gratitude. The man himself turns up then, to invite Rita next door for one of his "culinary masterpieces". She politely thanks him but declines, prompting Audreh to wonder after he's gone whether she isn't being a tiny bit paranoid. If she is, she answers, it's Mavis and her fussing that's got her that way!

Reg goes into the Corner Shop looking for a frozen dinner for one. He stops to tell Deirdre what a "lucky man" Ken is, being the recipient of her "tender ministrations". She is horrified at the notion and quickly assures him that Ken is only recuperating, and there is no pleasure in it! Still, Reg sighs and wishes he had a "loving woman" to tend to him after being knocked down by Jim this morning.

In the Rovers, Derek, Percy and Don discuss the break-in at the Kabin. Percy informs them of the police officer's recommendation that Rita install bars on her windows and they agree that it doesn't take the place of failure to react on the part of the police. They each recount their involvement in the affair and Alec leans across the bar to ask Derek what his role was. When he says he is the one who rang the police, Alec mockingly suggests that if he's lucky, Rita might take him on as a paper delivery "boy" full time.

In a bid to borrow a fiver, Jack tells Curly and Vera that he's got a chance to bet on a "sure thing" thanks to a tip received from "Sid" someone. Curly tells him he can forget that tip, Sid is a born loser who would have gambled away his own home if his wife hadn't stopped him. "What happened?" asks Vera. "She threw him out!" answers Curly.

Audreh and Alma are having a drink together in another part of the pub. Audreh is having trouble convincing Alma that Ken's being at Deirdre's has no meaning other than she took pity on him. Alma finds it hard to believe that Deirdre's "charity" wasn't inspired by affection but Audreh assures her, as soon as Ken is able, he'll be out of there "like lightening"!

Jack has mentioned his "sure thing" to Don now. Don says he can't lend him the money but invites Jack to come and earn a few extra quid the way he's been doing it. How? Carrying. Carrying what? Caskets. In his spare time, Don's been moonlighting as a pall-bearer. He gives Jack the particulars but says he doesn't want it spread about.

Deirdre comes home at the end of the day to find her dining table set for what suggests a romantic evening, candlelight and wine. Ken plays the innocent, all Tracy's idea, he insists. Deirdre is further taken aback when Tracy appears with a big bouquet of flowers for her mother, from Ken. "Just a small token of my appreciation, no strings attached", he smiles. Deirdre is left to ponder again whether she is being manipulated. Knowing her back is to the wall, she decides that her only option is to accept graciously so with a sinking heart, she thanks him.

Anita Belanger

Paula Maxwell: JUDY BROOKE Det. Con. Flagg: MARCUS ROMER
Written by TOM ELLIOT Directed by IAN WHITE


Originally transmitted: 19, 21, 24, 26, 28 February
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 9 - Friday 13 August 1999
Episode Numbers: 3347 - 3351

Monday (3347, Wednesday 19 February 1992)

Alma seems to be tentatively leaning back toward Ken as she finds occasion to ask Emily about Ken's health. Raquel sets Percy's tongue wagging when she appears on the doorstep first thing this morning in her short robe, "half naked" according to the old man although Jack doesn't seem to mind the view.

It's a long, LONG day for Ken. Deirdre sets him up with a flask of tea and a sandwich for his lunch later before work as she has a dentist appointment at dinnertime. Ken seems to enjoy her ministrations although doesn't really see that they're done with the snap of efficiency, more like someone who just wants him out of her hair as soon as possible. Percy later approaches Deirdre for permission to drop off a couple of books for Ken so Deirdre gives him her spare key so Ken won't have to get up. After initially being somewhat pleased at the company, Ken realizes he's not going to get rid of Percy that easily and once Phyllis susses out where Percy is and invites herself along for the ride, Ken probably feels like he's arrived in the hinges of hell with two of the Imps of Hell arguing over the scrambled egg in the kitchen!

Liz and Steve are noticing what good care of his appearance Andy is taking these days and are fizzy with curiosity to find out who's behind it. Obviously a girl and poor Andy spends his day avoiding questions, especially from his brother. Later during the day Paula assures him she isn't trying to avoid him by breaking a date for that night, she really does have to work on an essay but confirms they will see each other on Friday. Later on, just before teatime, Liz takes a call for Andy and manages to get Paula's name before Andy takes the call behind closed doors. Liz and Steve on the other side strain to hear through the walls! Andy does admit it's not the Paula that Steve knew from school and that she's in computer studies like he is. That's all he'll give them for now though. (well i'm sure he knows Steve will move in on Paula just to stir it up!)

Rita insists she is just fine and the break in has no lasting effect on her other than anger and urges Mavis to stop hovering. After Raquel discusses the relative safety for a woman to be lodging with a man, Mavis has a rather self righteous gossip about the lovely woman. She's not fooled, no she isn't, there's more to that "lodging" arrangement than they're letting on! Rita distracts her erstwhile Sherlock with the sweet order because the rep is coming in later. And so he does, it's Ted Sullivan who's been coming round for years but Rita is astonished to hear that Ted has accepted a retirement package and will be gone from his appointed rounds by next month. That seems to strike a chord with Rita. (Readers, You will remember Mavis brought up the subject of her retirement a few weeks before the shop was broken into and although she rejected the idea, it's been on her mind, especially after this latest upheaval.)

Jack, skint as ever, finally gets the name of the funeral director from Don and makes an appointment to be interviewed for the part time job as pall bearer. After an initial mistaken identity where Jack is thought to be a mourner, he is put on the list for part time work. After all, points out the director with a toothy grin, anyone that can look as lugubrious as Jack is a natural! Jack just smiles, not having caught the significance of the term while the director chuckles at his own wit.

When Emily learns that Percy has spent most of the day in No.1 along with Phyllis, she scolds Percy who is affronted and vows not to be a Good Samaritan in that direction again if that's the thanks he gets. She next comes to Ken to apologize for her lodger and offers to make Ken a cup of tea to make it up. Only it's about the 10th one well-meaning visitors have foisted on him today so he's well and truly tea-logged! (that reminds me, how IS he managing the loo?) Deirdre also apologizes, having no idea what she had let Ken in for. Ken instructs her not to let in any other visitors, she and Tracy will be enough company for him. I think he meant that to be romantic but it sends Deirdre over the edge. She's not going to do ALL the waiting on him and firmly tells him he's only there because Tracy backed her into a corner over it. His recovery can't come soon enough for her! (Talk about beating a man when he's down! LOL)

Diane Johnston

First appearance by Ted Sullivan WILLIAM RUSSELL Mr. Thorpe ADRIAN MCLOUGHLIN
Written by BARRY HILL Directed by IAN WHITE

Tuesday (3348, Friday 21 February 1992)

The day begins with boring old Ken Baldwin jerking around the kitchen attempting to wait on himself since Deirdre cattily sank her claws into him the previous night over his willingness to have her wait on him. (the man is an idiot. if someone is willing to wait on you paw and foot i think you're a damned fool to forego it, catty remarks or no catty remarks). She also took him on for his whinging. (this, i thought, was completely unfair. if we cannot complain, what is life for?) Dreary is somewhat apologetic for her earlier harshness. Later in the day, Ken and Deirdre's final divorce decree arrives. They fret about telling their kitten, Tracy, but she seems less than moved by the whole thing. Ken and Deirdre later decide to get a bottle of champagne to 'celebrate the good times'. By the time Tracy gets home that evening they are quite merry and, in a completely contrived scene, she walks in on Deirdre tickling Ken to "get him back" for all the misery he'd caused her over their married life. Tracy pitches an admirable hissy fit (not that i understand why. i mean, my relationships only last for about three minutes and then i'm delighted to get rid of the "dead wood" as it were. but i understand that with human beings these things are more complex. that is why he-who-plays-with-tiny-airplanes-and-ships and she-who-plays-with-paper-and-pens have both been around here so long, i suppose. i only wish someone would deliver the decree absolut that would divorce me from this meddlesome kitten) and screams that she's "disgusted!" and says that they are celebrating "me comin' from a broken 'ome! I don't think that's very clever!" (as i said, an admirable hissy. i haven't pitched one so fine since dad tried to wear me on his head like a davy crockett cap).

Speaking of hissy fits (there's a reason they call them that you know, and it's part of the proud feline etymology), Alma pitches a nice one herself today. Things start quietly enough with Gail encouraging her to visit Ken and Alma saying that she'd feel funny visiting when Deirdre were in, even though she knows they're separated. However Mike Baldwin, grinning like a Cheshire Cat, comes by to gloat over Ken's convalescence at Deirdre's, "back in the bosom of his family" and in response to Alma's sarcastic comment that Mike is hardly an expert on relationships says that "Ken Barlow won't be around for SOME PEOPLE to hide behind any more!" At this Alma orders him right out of the cafe after noting that Mike didn't know anything, was suffering from a terminal case of cockiness, and in case he hadn't noticed, "men are off my Christmas card list!" (meee-yow!) Later in the pub, Mike overhears the news about Ken and Deirdre's final divorce decree coming through, as does Alma. Both feign indifference at the news. Mike offers to buy the lovely Alma a drink to congratulate her on her "performance" in the cafe, saying that she "almost" had him believing it! "You're pathetic," Alma says in wonderment at his catlike nerve.

Oh, getting back to your weird human mating rituals, the entire McDonald household seems to have nothing better to do than watch the clumsy mating dance Andy is doing with this Paula person. (i actually quite like her, she strikes me as being quite feline in her way) Andy goes out to meet Paula this evening and Steve follows him, turning up at the club they're at to Andy's clear dismay. Steve makes a show of buying drinks and having "lots of dosh" and tries to chat up Paula, who is friendly enough but not overly so. Steve then encourages them all to go clubbing; Andy agrees if Steve buys one more round, but while Steve is at the bar he flees, urging Paula to come with him. Outside she protests running out on Steve but Andy is clearly annoyed that Steve turned up and doesn't care. He complains that Steve is always bragging about his money, always coming up with the lines. Paula asks if Andy is jealous - is he afraid she fancies Steve? "It wouldn't be the first time," Andy answers bitterly. Paula tells Andy that Steve may be flash but she's with Andy because she wants to be, and because he talks about "more than cars and money". She seals her declaration with a kiss. (my goodness that looks unhygenic! looks like something mojo would do... slobber, slobber, slobber... oh, shut up, mojo, you know it does)

Elsewhere on the street, Jack tells Don that he has been accepted as a part-time pall bearer with the funeral home, but Don is not to tell Vera. In fact, Jack already has his first assignment! He optimistically notes that with this cold, damp weather, people will be dropping like flies due to the bronchitis and suchlike. (very pragmatic, jack. i admire that in a human being) Don wonders how Jack will manage to get the time off work at the Rovers if necessary to cover his pall bearing duties? Jack has a plan - he heads right over to Deirdre's where he pumps Ken Barlow for detailed information about Ken's back condition, including diagrams! Later in the Rovers he begins complaining to Alec about pains in his "sacreligious", laying the groundwork for what will no doubt be intermittent back problems requiring time off in future! (excellent work, jack. clearly a man who should come back as a cat in his next life... eating, drinking, and sleeping, and if that gets too strenuous, sleeping *in* the food dish to save effort)

Little Red Wig Rita tells Mavis about the confectionery salesman, Ted, retiring. Mavis' little mouselike ears perk up several inches and her whiskers twitch anxiously. It sounds like he could be opening up a job for SuperDerek! (what's that, mojo? yes, i'll tell them. mojo loves mavis. she is all trembly and lovely, he would like to eat her, and thinks that he could do it given a fair go, too. i tend to agree, considering the thrashing he gave that moth last night.) She and Dirk plan to have a little farewell get-together for Ted, just a "friendly gesture", which of course is merely an excuse for Derek to convince Ted to put in a good work for Derek to replace him as confectionery salesman. Mark my words, kiddies - *this* will all end in tears!

ronniecat

Paula Maxwell: JUDY BROOKE
Written by HARRY DUFFIN Directed by IAN WHITE

Wednesday (3349, Monday 24 February 1992)

A new day begins on Coronation Street with Derek carefully reviewing recipes and menus for their anticipated dinner with Ted Sullivan and Rita, while across the street, Deirdre is asking Ken if a sandwich will do for his lunch, given that she's meeting Liz. Tracy arrives in the midst of Ken's and Deirdre's light-hearted discussions, and sarcastically wonders if they'll be sending out cards, announcing their divorce. The response is that she should be pleased that her parents continue to remain friends, but Tracy is not impressed.

Next door, Liz is yelling at Andy to hurry or his breakfast will get cold, while Steve continues to crack wise about Andy's romantic interest in Paula. Steve is miffed that he's required to pay room and board, while Andy is getting a free ride as long as he remains in school.

At the Duckworth's, Vera is reminding Jack that she expects to find a clean and tidied house when she gets home, but her rant is interrupted when she notices that Jack seems out of sorts. When she asks why he's down, she gets little in the way of an answer.

Outside, Steve and Tracy meet as they emerge from their respective homes, and when Steve sees Raquel crossing the road in her bright red coat, he lets out a wolf whistle. Raquel tells them she's on her way to an audition, prompting Tracy to ask if the role is for "Little Red Riding Hood." At the bike shop, Tracy complains about her parents divorce, claiming that it just isn't natural for them to be so good-natured about the whole thing. Steve wisely points out that it's entirely possible that her parents have gone to great lengths to keep all the unhappiness they may have felt a secret from her. Tracy is obviously extremely angry that her once happy home has been splintered, and she even confesses the murderous fantasies she used to have about her mother.

Derek stops into the Corner Shop to buy the groceries for the dinner party, but quickly learns that they don't stock such "exotic" foodstuffs as smoked salmon or rye bread. A helpful Audrey suggests that he go to Bettabuys, and gets an earful from Alf about losing customers after Derek leaves.

At the corner shop, a nervous Mavis asks Rita to compliment the meal that evening, even if she doesn't particularly enjoy it. As only Mavis can do, she dramatically describes Derek's lack of direction since losing his job, and even though it's a small project, his planning of the meal has, for the moment, given Derek a "purpose in life."

Vera is worried about Jack and his apparent depression, so she decides to talk to Curly about it at work. She wonders if it's possible that Jack is going through some sort of male-related "change of life," and decides she'll buy him something new on her lunch break in an effort to cheer him up.

At the Rover's Return, Raquel tells others that she didn't get the part, and this leads to a discussion of "show business" as Alec knows it. Eventually, the name of "Vincent St. Clair," also known as Jack Duckworth, comes up, and Alec chortles that "Vincent's" biggest problem as a singer was that he couldn't sing.

Meanwhile, Jack is pursuing his part-time work with the undertaker, and is driving a hearse. He suddenly spies Vera walking along the street, and slumps down into the seat -- but too late, for Vera has seen him. She stands, wide-eyed, and with her mouth hanging open, as the apparently driverless hearse glides by. Back at Bettabuys, Vera tells Curly of her discovery.

Andy arrives home and proudly tells his mother of his marks, which will hopefully qualify him to get into Sheffield. Liz tells him how proud she is of him, and pulls a few pounds out of her purse, telling him to treat himself. Steve happens to arrive home at that moment, and registers his unhappiness with this modest show of wealth, since, according to his mother, he needs to pay room and board because his parents are short on money.

Mavis is also arriving home, and is very pleased to see the table beautifully laid out for their dinner guests, although she is somewhat taken aback by the amount of smoked salmon Derek has bought. Derek confesses he may have fudged a little on their weekly budget in his effort to make this a memorable meal, and puts Mavis' mind at ease somewhat by admitting that he chose smoked mackeral instead of the salmon. He makes it clear that his intention is to have Ted go back to his place of work and tell others that Derek Wilton is a classy fellow.

At the Duckworth's, Vera makes no bones about the fact that she saw Jack driving the hearse, and demands to know what's going on.

Back at the Wilton's, Rita arrives for dinner, and seconds later, Ted Sullivan rings the doorbell. As soon as Ted is in the door, Derek launches on his pitch about his own experience selling confections. Over dinner, Derek and Mavis do their best to steer the conversation toward Derek's past employment record as either a sales representative or a sales manager. "He can turn his hand to anything" witters Mavis when compliments are given for the meal. Apparently oblivious to what is happening, Ted turns his attention to Rita, and to his own plans to enjoy his retirement. Then he drops the bomb that his nephew has already been hired to take over his position.

Tracy gets home, and tries to rush off to her room, but Ken wants a word. He tells her that she's being unfair to her mother, blaming her for their break-up, and he admits that it's entirely his fault that the marriage ended. He doesn't expect her to understand a lot of these things until she's grown up, but he assures her that while they may not act it, they are both still deeply hurt by their marriage ending -- but they don't wear their hearts on their sleeves. Deep feelings don't die that easily, and even though they're now divorced, they will always care for each other.

Heather Morlan

Ted Sullivan: WILLIAM RUSSELL
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by DAVID RICHARDS

Thursday (3350, Wednesday 26 February 1992)

Rita has a metal grill and a metal shutter installed over her door, needs must (and the insurance company insists, no doubt) Mavis is surly this morning and accuses Rita of monopolizing Ted when Derek was trying to make a useful contact. Rita did no such thing, she assures Mavis. But she is astonished when Mavis points out that it's quite obvious that Ted has his cap set for Rita, "Honestly, you know nothing about men, you really don't" Mavis shrills. (Agony Aunt Mavis here! LOL) She is proven right however, when Ted arrives later to take Rita to an early lunch. Mavis and Derek were going to have that lunch spot but Mavis quickly backs out of it, preferring to match make instead. Ted thanks the Wilton's for their dinner invite and makes small talk to Derek about sales. Derek isn't impressed and when Ted and Rita leave, he whines to Mavis about the man being superficial, asking the same questions over and over but never listening to the answers (he DOES give that impression but i think Ted's just blinded by infatuation) Mavis gushes that she thinks Ted is perfect. Derek whines with jealousy because she never said that about him, but Mavis continues...Perfect....for Rita!!! Derek finally twigs and smiles. I think he's got in mind their original plan to retire Rita and take over the Kabin themselves!

Rita takes Ted into the pub, perking the interest of Bet and Audrey. Audrey sighs when she sees Ted take Rita's coat and tells Bet that her one regret is that she never found a fella to take her coat! (Men?! Manners *do* still impress a woman, so think on!) Aye, Bet agrees, her and all, along with hundreds of other regrets. Audrey gets herself introduced and later passes on the gossip about the new man in Rita's life to Deirdre. Sweet salesman or not, it didn't look like gobstoppers from where she was standing, more like Lovehearts! (oooh, good one, Audrey! Who else remembers those little flat round candies with hearts and sweet sayings painted on them?)

Jack tries to convince Vera that seeing him in a hearse was a premonition of his death, hallucinations. He chuckles to Don that Vera seemed to believe him and will never find his stash of cash where he's hidden it. But over in No.9 Ivy has told Vera about Don's part time job and Vera realizes that Jack has followed suit. And she knows exactly where his hidey-hole is too, as she pops out the back door. The pigeon cooing turns to a bit of a kerfluffle and Vera returns, hands full of notes, laughing and kissing the money (ewwwwww! That was in among the pigeon muck wasn't it?) She's going to spend it to get back at Jack for lying to her. Which she does, buying a lovely sweater and a box of chocolates. Jack, having realized his money is gone, turns on the guilt with both barrels when she returns, moaning on how he was never a good father to their Terry. He admits he let the lad down and decided to get a part time job to subsidize his wages so that he could put a bit aside for when Terry gets wed. Vera buys it, hook line and sinker and feels so bad she even offers to pay him back out of her own wages. Jack smugly fills Don in later with a laugh.

Andy has an invite to Sheffield's Open Day. Later Steve threatens to ask out Paula so Andy, confident in Paula's choice, even dials the number for him. Paula, as predicted, turns Steve down flat but it just rolls off him like water off a duck's back. (Now this puts me in mind of a rather less sophisticated version my grandfather used to say, something about duck's beak and, well, the result of a sneeze, shall we say.)

There is more contention in the MacDonald house, however, than just girl trouble. Steve is fed up forking over his hard earned money only to find it lining Andy's pockets and future university career. Steve throws cold water on Liz and Jim's pride in Andy by reminding them than education grants are much smaller than they used to be and university is going to be an expensive process. Curly later confirms this when he's talking to Steve and Jim in the pub, telling them that not only does Angie have to work but her grant is topped up by her mother. Andy tries to line up a part time job at Bettabuys through Curly who promises to see what he can do. Liz is not pleased that Andy wants to work because at the present time, he should be concentrating on his exams so she takes matters into her own hands and goes to Bet to ask if she can come back to work. Bet readily agrees, having had more than enough of Marshmallow Brain and Alec letting Raquel getting away with not showing up for work and short changing customers because she's got a pretty face. Liz is more than pleased to be able to contribute to Andy's expenses so Steve can't complain.

There's a fly in the ointment however, when Alec steadfastly refuses to rehire Liz and dump Raquel because Raquel attracts the punters like flies to honey!

Diane Johnston

Written by FRANK COTTRELL-BOYCE Directed by DAVID RICHARDS

Friday (3351, Friday 28 February 1992)

Alec and Bet are having yet another argument over Raquel filling Liz' shoes. Bet reminds Alec that Liz had been promised the job when she felt ready but he counters by saying that Noah promised to find room for all the animals aboard the ark. Therefore, Liz is like the unicorn - she may be left out in the cold but it's no real loss, he reasons. Before Bet can say, "Hah!", they are interrupted by Jack, who comes to report a funny smell in the cellar. Alec goes to investigate but the phone rings so he stops to answer it. Bad news, one of Alec's former acts, Arthur the "Memory Man" has died. Alec makes a note of when the funeral service is and returns to inform Bet of the tragedy. She listens intently while he sings the praises of Arthur, who could memorise which audience members held which card from an entire deck. Sympathetically, she asks how he died. "He had angina", Alec explains. "Unfortunately, he went off without his pills one day", he finishes sadly. "The *memory* man? Forgot his pills?!" Bet exclaims in disbelief. Disgusted that she finds it so ironic, Alec replies, "Mockery! Mockery!!" and angrily walks out.

In the Corner Shop, Phyllis asks Deirdre how Ken is faring. She reports he's coming along but refrains from saying she wishes he would pick up the pace a little. Phyllis jokes that she expects to see Ken doing the limbo at the next Weatherfield Carnival, which elicits a chuckle from Deirdre. As Phyllis goes out the door, Alf approaches Deirdre to ask what Ken's "plans" are. She doesn't know of any plans, she says. But Alf persists, asking what Ken intends to do about the flat. Deirdre tells him Ken will be taking up residence above the shop again as soon as he's able to make the stairs. Alf then tactlessly asks if Ken won't be climbing *her* stairs. An indignant denial from Deirdre and then she realises the reason for Alf's inquisitiveness - he's concerned about getting the rent Ken owes him. She assures him there's no cause for worry. "He's not going to run away and if he did, even *you* could catch him in his present condition!"

Alec has accompanied Jack to the cellar to investigate the strange odor by now. As the two return to the pub, Bet asks what it could be. Alec hazards that it's "something fungal" and he reckons a good clean-out will do the trick. He orders Jack down to make a start and tells him to leave the trap open to air it out. Jack complains that he'll freeze to death but his boss tells him if he works hard enough that won't happen. When Alec remarks to Bet that it's going to be "one of those days", she urges him to consider that it won't get any better when he has to tell Liz her job is gone because *she* doesn't intend to be here when he does it! And he can take Big Jim's reaction into account while he's at it!

Alf pays a visit to bed-ridden Ken, bringing a bunch of grapes with him. "A few might be a bit soft", he apologises, "but the soft ones are the sweetest". Ken smiles his thanks and Alf takes a look around at all the books Ken's been reading. As Alf helps himself to the grapes, he comments that he didn't expect Deirdre would have so many books on hand. Ken explains that Tracy has been getting them for him from his flat. Alf seizes the chance to ask Ken about the rent on the flat and Ken apologises for being in arrears. "Only a month", Alf assures him, "not to worry". Ken says he'd like to pay now but he left his chequebook in the flat. A light goes on over Alf's head as he helpfully suggests that Tracy could go and get it the next time she's up getting him a book.

This scene takes place at Tracy's school, in study hall. Tracy and her friend, Debbie, are too intent on studying unless I missed something and the subject matter was boys. If you thought Tracy spoke like her mouth was full of marbles, you should try listening to Debbie. All I caught was that Debbie was intimating that Tracy was rather fonder of one Mark Jackson than she wanted to admit.

In the Kabin, Rita asks Percy if Phyllis has caught up with him yet. She hasn't and when Percy asks what she wanted, Rita says that since tomorrow is February 29th, Phyllis may have been seeking to propose marriage! Repulsed at the idea, Percy answers, "The woman's mad!" It occurs to him though, that Rita is in a position to be considering marriage. She jokingly asks if he is offering himself and Percy blusters that he didn't mean himself! No, he clarifies - she's a "well-preserved" widow woman, she has her own business, and having a man around would give her a feeling of security. Rita thanks him for his interest and he announces he is off to the cafe in search of Phyllis. "I thought you didn't want to run into her?" Rita asks. "I don't", he explains, "but it's like scratching an itch or playing with a loose tooth - you just can't seem to ignore it!"

Liz enters the pub and cheerfully tells Alec she is ready to start back as soon as he is. Furrowing his brow, he tells her she'd better come through to the back. Betty and Jack look after them knowingly while Raquel watches in confusion. Jack leans over and tells her she had better don her "hard hat" as there will be debris flying about in a minute. Completely mystified, Raquel demands to know what he's talking about. Jack tells her that Liz is about to lose her job, but not to worry, he had "a word" so Raquel is staying. Betty, who can't help being indignant at this, calls Jack a liar to his face. Before Raquel can figure out what's going on, Liz comes storming from the back with Alec right behind her. Outraged at being fired, she repeats to Betty the excuse that Alec gave her - that the brewery has ordered the hiring of younger staff. Turning to Alec, she makes it plain she doesn't believe a word of it, then tells him he can *stick* his reference!

Back at work in the shop, Alf is still fumbling for a way to get Ken's chequebook to him. Turning to Deirdre, he suggests that she could use her key to go up and fetch it. Nothing doing, she says. She wouldn't feel right rooting through Ken's things. "He wouldn't have stood for it while we were married and in case you haven't noticed..." "You're not married anymore..." Alf finishes with a sigh of resignation. Bet enters the shop and finds Liz browsing through the canned goods. Tentatively, she approaches her and apologises for Alec's treatment. Bet says she's embarrassed, but Liz says she can't be half as embarrassed as she was! Bet asks for time to "work on him" - she thinks she can persuade him to change his mind. She asks Liz not to mention her dismissal to Jim just yet but Liz tells her she *has* to tell Jim. She can't have him drinking his beer at the Rovers not knowing!

As Tracy and Debbie leave school together at the end of the day, Mark Jackson catches up with them and starts walking beside Tracy. Accompanied by much teasing from Debbie, the pair make arrangements for Mark to come home with Tracy tomorrow and listen to tapes together. The date made, Mark says a quick "goodbye" and takes off in another direction. Debbie teases Tracy about having a "date" with the boy and Tracy smiles in spite of herself. "No thanks to you - you nearly ruined it!" she retorts.

Andy wanders into Bettabuys and finding Vera stacking shelves in one of the aisles, asks her where he can find Mr. Holdsworth. When he explains he is after a job, Vera exhorts him to keep on with his studies - why would he want to work here when he's done so well in school? After Andy explains that he fully intends to continue his studies, and that he only wants part time work, Vera directs him upstairs to Reg's office.

Andy timidly steps into the office, finding Reg and Curly trying to solve a problem with the computer. (Read: Curly trying to solve the problem and Reg hovering behind him making useless suggestions and complaints.) Reg gives Andy a chilly reception asking what he wants. Andy says he's looking for part time work and Reg sarcastically asks what he would like to do. "Anything", replies Andy. Reg inquires about Andy's course of studies and hearing "Computers", assigns him his first task, to fix the problem with this one. Sitting down in front of the machine, Andy plays around with it for a minute but doesn't get anywhere. As he shrugs helplessly, Reg barks that he can start by sweeping the warehouse!

Phyllis comes into the Kabin and Rita asks if Percy managed to find her yet. Sadly for Phyllis, he hasn't but she's delighted to hear he came looking. Rita asks if she intended to take advantage of the leap year by proposing marriage to the pensioner but Phyllis is shocked at the idea. "It wouldn't be natural for a woman to propose to a man!" she protests.

When Tracy comes into the Corner Shop to get the spare key to Ken's flat off her mother, Alf jumps on the chance to ask whether she can find his chequebook while she's up there. Tracy shrugs off the suggestion as a joke and continues on her way but when Alf turns to face Deirdre he's greeted with a very chilly look.

Andy and Paula have stopped in at the McDonalds' so that he can get ready for their evening out. As she waits for Andy, Paula sits and exchanges strained pleasantries with his family. Relieved when he appears from upstairs, she jumps up to join him and they say their goodbyes. Steve manages a crass remark as the door closes and Jim snickers that he "fancies it". Liz takes exception to Paula being classified as "it" but she also seems amused at Steve's shenanigans. Once the hilarity dies down, Jim announces he is going down to the boozer. Liz stops him and prepares to tell him her bad news.

In the parlour, Bet and Alec are still arguing over his dismissal of Liz. "She won't stay you know!" Bet remarks about Raquel. He says he knows that but he'll deal with that when the time comes. "What have you got against Liz anyway?" she asks. Alec replies that he thinks she's too opinionated - and, there's those lads of hers - look how she took up for them when they got into trouble. "So, she's got a mind of her own and she sticks up for her kids - anything else you don't like about her?" Bet retorts.

Des is leaning across the bar drooling about Raquel's "delicious" appearance while she laps it all up. Jim comes in huffing and steps up to the bar demanding "yer man". "He's right beside you", Raquel answers in confusion. When it clicks that he means Alec, she points towards the back and Jim pushes his way past and charges in for a confrontation. Finding Alec pouring over his books, Jim starts shouting at him for his maltreatment of Liz. Alec looks terrified for a minute then recovers himself sufficiently to call (with a nervous tremor) for Jack to ring the police. Jack momentarily peeks through the open door, looks around gormlessly and returns to the pub. Meanwhile, Jim stands in the doorway shouting at Alec about breaking his promise to Liz. Alec manages to sputter that it was a business decision, adding that he doesn't have to answer to Jim. Jim angrily retorts that when his family is upset, he does have to answer to him! As he goes back through the pub, Alec scurries after him.

Emboldened now in the company of the entire pub, Alec puts in a bid for the last word, "Answer to you? Answer to you! I have to answer to the Brewery, the Town Hall, the taxman, Environmental Health, Custom and Excise, Mrs. Gilroy ñ and now I have to answer to a mad Irishman?!" Jim flippantly replies that he's glad he finally got that through his thick skull. He then leans across the bar to address Raquel: "My wife used to work here, you know. You know what he asked her to do on her first day? He reckoned she should wear something a bit more *revealing*... (Pauses) ...I wonder what heís got you taking off?" With that, Big Jim walks purposefully from the pub, heedless of Alec's frantic cry: "Yer barred! Barred!!" Casting around for validation from someone, *anyone*, he reiterates, "I barred him!"

Anita Belanger

Debbie Dawson: JENNY SIXSMITH Mark Jackson: JAMIE GILL
Written by: JULIAN ROACH Directed by: DAVID RICHARDS


Originally transmitted: 2, 4, 6, 9 & 11 March 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 16 - Friday 20 August 1999
Episode Numbers: 3352 - 3356

Monday (3352, Monday 2 March 1992)

Not two weeks since the last burglary and the wee hours before the dawn are heralded by the screaming of the Kabin's alarm again! Rita's on the phone to the police and Reg is creeping around the corner, not willing to make the same mistake as last time when he was thumped in the dark by Jim. He buzzes Rita to see if she's ok and panics when he hears someone in front of the shop. He buzzes frantically to be let in but it's only Martin come to see if he can help. Inside the Kabin, Rita is dazed and at her wits end. There's a metal shutter fitted over the door but the culprits this time smashed the display window and got in and out that way. Jim arrives as well (isn't nice to see the community rallying round?) Reg calls the glazier and Jim gets Rita's wee brush to start clearing up. Martin is sent back to Gail to let her know what's happened as she's up and waiting to hear. Mavis doesn't help matters either, when she later adds fuel to the fire by her blundering speech about being nervous when she lived alone above the old shop. (Careful you don't cut your foot on a sharp tooth, there, Mavis!)

So of course that's the talk of the street. I'm amazed at the people that have slept through the siren going off, i really am. Ken woke up but Deirdre and Tracy didn't. Percy slept through it too and takes some ribbing later in the pub for sleeping through his Home Watch. He blames the cocoa which acts on him like a knock out drop! Alec takes a bit of scolding from Bet who extols Jim's penchant for helping anyone out but Alec is insistent, Jim isn't coming back to the pub until he apologizes for mouthing off (although he was only defending his wife). Liz scolds Jim for it as well as it's ruined her chances of such a handy job. She thinks Bet could have talked Alec round eventually had Jim not taken it on himself to defend her. But most of her words bounce off the walls as Jim has fallen asleep on the sofa.

Bettabuys is the scene of some cartoonish actions today. Reg goes into twitch overdrive when Curly informs him that Brendan Scott is going to drop in later in the day. He didn't say why so Curly and Reg spend a moment or two accusing each other's peccadilloes as the cause of the visit. Andy starts at Bettabuys and just as Curly is giving him his instructions for trolley gathering (so there IS a precedent!), Brendan Scott is spied coming up the aisle. Curly disappears in a flash of smoke. Brendan passes a few sentences Andy's way before Reg and Curly slide to a halt behind Andy. (Honestly it really does look like a scene out of a cartoon!) Andy and Curly leave them to it. Brendan is here to inform Reg that Bettabuy's new policy for management trainees is to hire them directly out of university, and in the course of the conversation Brendan makes sly comments on Reg certainly not being overqualified, having worked his way up from the bottom (I would wager a guess that Brendan did too since that was pretty much how you did it up when you were from Reg and Brendan's generation for that sort of job) The new management trainee, Vanessa Morgan, starts at Bettabuys tomorrow. Reg reluctantly agrees to treat her with respect. Curly tries to soothe Reg's feathers later in the pub. After all, he himself had three years of college (which makes me wonder why Brendan said that Vanessa would be their very first university trainee! Surely Curly was the first? College, university, not a lot of difference is there?)

Tracy gets permission from her mother to have a friend, a boy, over after school as long as she brings him to the shop to be introduced first. Ken isn't overly happy about it though, as it's one of his students. Tracy brings Mark to the shop, dutifully and then they go home to listen to tapes in her room which causes Ken's face to fall. Ken only gives them a half hour and then decides that's enough togetherness and insists they come back downstairs. Tracy, embarrassed to tears by her father, argues with him just as Deirdre arrives home. Deirdre assesses the situation and allows Tracy and Mark to go back upstairs while she talks to Ken. Only she tears a strip off Ken for not trusting Tracy. Ken sputters that he was only concerned but Deirdre rightly takes Tracy's side and gives him a rollicking for trying to tell her how to bring up their daughter. He no longer lives there and gave up that right when he walked out. She rules the roost and the chick now!

Martin has what will be a life and career altering experience today. He shares the elevator with an elderly woman but when the elevator gets stuck, she experiences severe claustrophobic symptoms. Her eyes roll back and she collapses. Martin pulls himself together and loosens her collar and, think, Martin, Think! He pinches her nose in an attempt at mouth to mouth resuscitation. Now it looked to me like a dead faint but apparently the woman had a heart attack. Martin felt quite useless as he really didn't know what to do and was afraid he was doing the wrong thing but as it turns out, he may have helped save her life so he goes home, quite proud of himself, feeling like he's done something worthwhile. He muses that doctors and nurses must feel like that on a daily basis and, as we now know, an idea has germinated!

Jack and Don are expecting another job at the undertakers but although Jack makes sure Alec hears him moan and grasp his back "in pain", Raquel gets to Alec first and sweet talks him into letting her have time off tomorrow for a modeling assignment, it being all out in the open now.

The episode ends today with Rita easily persuaded to have another drink with Audrey. Audrey susses out that Rita is nervous and doesn't want to go back to the flat alone and recruits Bet for additional support and cheering up duties. But surrounded by both her friends, Rita breaks down, a bundle of nerves. She admits she's frightened and her nerves are nearly as shattered as they were when she was being stalked by Alan Bradley two years before!

Credits roll....

I was delighted in a way to see that final scene because a very generous soul (thanks DL!) sent me a lovely picture of my favourite trucker, accompanied by a card which ITV had printed and the scene on the card is Bet and Audrey consoling a worried looking Rita. Today's episode was the scene that photo was taken from!!! The caption on the card is "They tried to help, but no-one could really understand what it was like working with Mavis all day"!!! :)))

We have seen today the beginnings of the futures of several characters. Andy's university career will prove to be cut short as he attempts a career at Bettabuys and Martin has now the foundations of what will become his nursing career. Other recent episodes have introduced the man that will soon change Rita Fairclough's name to Sullivan, giving Curly the opportunity to become a home-owner.

Diane Johnston

Mrs. Oaks OLIVIA JARDITH Sister Walker CAROL NOAKES Mark Jackson JAMIE GILL
Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Tuesday (3353, Wednesday 4 March 1992)

The day begins with Jack predictably up to no good. He has an assignment today in his "other job" as a pallbearer and is begging Vera to call in sick for him so he doesn't even have to lie to Alec in person! (The coward.) He asks Vee to tell Alec he's too sick to even reach the phone! Vera agrees to this, the prospect of extra cash apparently overcoming her usual disapproval of Jack's schemes. She decides to go to the Rovers in person to inform them of Jack's deathly infirmity. She gives the news to the Landlady who tells her that it couldn't have happened on a worse day, but Vera insists that poor Jack is flat on his back. After Vera leaves it turns out that the reason "it couldn't have happened on a worse day" is because Alec himself is taking time off to attend - the funeral of an old friend! There are no points for guessing where this is going through the course of the episode but it was amusing nevertheless.

We accompany Alec to the church where he attends the funeral. We are soon treated to the look of terror on Jack's face as he approaches with the team of pallbearers to take the dearly departed out of the church and spies his boss in the congregation! Quickly he swaps sides with another pallbearer so that when the casket is lifted on their shoulders it is between Jack's head and Alec's side of the church! Alec walks out of the church right behind Jack, staring at his employee's bald spot while never guessing that it is Jack. This is too good to last, however, and it wouldn't be Corrie if Jack didn't take a furtive peek over his shoulder and make eye contact with Alec. As Alec breaks from the crowd of mourners to pursue his shiftless cellarman, Jack grabs the undertaker, Mr. Thorpe, and stuffs him under the coffin in Jack's place before making a break for it. Jack tears down the street in front of the astonished mourners with Alec in close pursuit, the Mintos Alec has been eating all through the funeral ("for medicinal purposes," he assured a disapproving fellow mourner in the church) flying through the air out of their bag.

We next see Jack bursting in the back door of his house, breathlessly telling Vera that he has been found out. His plan is to fly up the stairs to bed but Alec is already at the front door and will see him if he goes through! Thinking fast, Jack lies on the sofa and has Vera cover him with a blanket. Vera goes to the door and puts on an Oscar-worthy performance as she plays "I don't know what you're talking about!" to a furious Alec. "Come and tell him yourself," she says when Alec informs her that she can tell Jack he's fired. A disbelieving Alec goes through to the living room where Jack puts on his own Oscar-winning performance as a man close to death. "Thanks for comin' to see me, boss," gasps Jack, explaining "I've lost the use of me legs." Alec is genuinely taken aback. "That man must have a double!" he says to Vera. He even apologizes to Jack... but then he sees Jack's muddy dress shoes sticking out from under the blanket. Truly furious, he tells Vera as he storms out that when Jack "gets back the use of his legs" he should leg it right down to the Rovers and pick up his employment cards - he's fired!

Jack does leg it down to the Rovers, but it is to soundly apologize and beg for his job. His timing is truly fortuitous because just then Betty tells Alec that they need a keg put on and between need and Jack's begging, Alec tells him he can have his job back - but this is his Last Chance! Later Bet tells Alec she is surprised he gave Jack his job back. Alec grandly puts it down to something he heard the Priest said as he sat there during the funeral service for his old friend... "Ask, and ye shall receive"... put things into perspective for him, he said... Jack asked for his job back and Alec was willing to give it to him because now that he's received it, Alec knows he won't dare ask for a single other thing for at least two years! As he chuckles to himself, Bet dryly comments that Alec is "a real Christian... on the quiet."

In other Street life, Tracy is still not speaking to Ken because he embarrassed her in front of the boy she likes, Mark Jackson. Deirdre reminds Tracy that she was the one who was so keen that her dad move in with them while he convalesced. Now Tracy only wants to know, "when's he going?"

Martin Platt goes to visit the elderly lady whose life he saved. She is very thankful. A nurse, Sister Walker, is surprised that he's never had any training because his medical instincts are good. She asks if he's ever considered becoming a nurse. Martin seems a bit surprised at the idea but we know that Sister is merely watering a seed which was planted when Martin saved Mrs. Oaks' life - and which will change Martin's life forever.

Bettabuys new "Graduate Trainee", Vanessa Morgan, begins work at the store. Reg introduces her to Curly while making it very clear that he is not impressed with University graduates. He and Mr. Watts graduated from the "school of life", he tells the young woman, in his opinion the only one that counts. Later in the Rovers, in speculation that is sleazy even for Reg, he suggests that Ms. Morgan must be Brendan Scott's girlfriend! (She is young, attractive, female and a rising professional star, therefore she must be sleeping with the boss!) Curly cannot agree, saying "There's no way Vanessa could fancy Brendan Scott, I mean, let's face it, he's almost as old as you are!"

In tonight's most significant plot development, Ted Sullivan invites Rita out for dinner and she accepts. As they enjoy a nice meal (after pre-dinner drinks at the Rovers which did not go unnoticed by Reg Holdsworth!) Ted discusses retirement with Rita. He says that he is very happy being retired, but he intimates that being single is not the ideal state of retirement. He hasn't got everything just the way he wants it, he says - not yet.

Vanessa Morgan: IMOGEN BOORMAN Ted Sullivan: WILLIAM RUSSELL Mr. Thorpe: ADRIAN MCLOUGHLIN Mrs. Oaks: OLIVIA JARDITH Sister Walker: CAROL NOAKES
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Again, not a lot of actual action today besides the silly Jack-Alec funeral scenes. However we learned quite a lot. We learned that Jack is on his Last Chance (again); that Tracy now wants her Dad out of their house, finding his full-time presence suffocating; that Reg and Vanessa Morgan are due for a clash due to Reg's suspicion of younger, well-educated people - particularly women; that the idea of a career in nursing has been firmly planted in Martin's mind; and that Ted may be looking for a life partner with whom to share his retirement. Could it be that he has Rita in mind?

Well, that's your lot!

ronniecat =^..^=

Wednesday (3354, Friday 6 March 1992)

It's early morning on the street. In the Kabin, Reg Holdsworth, who is as usual full of himself, makes a snide remark to Rita about Ted's retirement plans. His attempt to impress Rita with "high commerce" is unfortunately interrupted by Curly, who reminds him that there are chickens at Bettabuys in need of "shifting."

At the Platt's, Gail and Martin discuss the possibility of him training to be a nurse. Martin says that Sister Walker thinks he has great potential, but Gail believes that he needs his "O" levels to even qualify for admission. Martin decides to look into the matter that day.

Across the road, the usual chaos and loud music predominate the MacDonalds' attempts to prepare for their respective days. Suddenly everyone is gone but Liz, who turns off the radio, stares off into space, and looks decidedly blue.

The chickens Curly referred to earlier are the topic of conversation at Bettabuys. Apparently a customer complained that a chicken she purchased was "off", so Vera and Vanessa have been designated to move them from the freezer. While Vera sniffs each one, Vanessa suggests that Curly check the thermostats in the freezers, and is generally belittled by him for thinking instead of acting.

In the Corner Shop, Bet complains of being short-staffed, and is overheard by Jim who remarks that they lost their best employee when they let Liz go. He also makes a crack about Raquel being brainless.

Liz, meanwhile, arrives at the Kabin, and when Rita comments on how nicely she's dressed, Liz responds that she's tired of wearing jeans. After she leaves, Rita goes all dreamy and tells Mavis how jealous she is of Ted Sullivan, who seems to be not only looking forward to his retirement, he also has it well planned.

After his little boondoggle of the previous day, Jack is going out of his way to please Alec by taking on extra work and showing initiative. But even Jack can't handle all the chores, and when Bet asks Raquel to take a mop to the floor, Raquel is greatly offended. Alec comes into the bar area at that moment, and when he realizes that Bet expects Raquel to do some of the char work, he insists that isn't a barmaid's responsibility.

Back at Bettabuys, Reg takes the mickey with Vanessa, who complains to Vera that she's tired of all the menial tasks she's been assigned since joining the staff, supposedly at a managerial level. Reg, in the meanwhile, rushes off for an early lunch, hopefully with Rita, so when Brendan Scott turns up unexpectedly, Curly is left holding the bag. He covers by saying that Reg had a dental appointment.

Ken manages to hobble up to Tracy's room and apologizes for embarrassing her the night before. He announces that he feels it's time to move back to his own flat, even though Tracy is of the opinion that he isn't ready to live on his own.

Curly and Brendan go over the books, and Brendan asks how Vanessa is getting on in her new position. Curly tries his best to be witty with a Reg impersonation, implying that these "graduates" need to be put in their place, but Brendan is not amused. When Brendan informs him that Vanessa is the daughter of the Chairman of Bettabuys, Curly looks absolutely horrified.

Bet and Alec have words over Raquel as she serves Reg. As far as Bet is concerned, she's tired of Alec usurping her authority with the staff. Reg tries to insinuate himself into Rita's company, but she makes it clear that she hasn't the time of day for him.

Brendan is still waiting for Reg, and wonders out loud how long it takes a dentist to do a few fillings. He tells Curly that he sees Vanessa, and indeed all graduate trainees, as the store's future, so advises him to treat her well. After Brendan's departure, Curly finds Vanessa doing more grunt work in the back of the store, and immediately "promotes" her to working in the wine section.

Martin approaches Sister Walker in her office, and speaks to her about taking the necessary training to become a nurse. He's concerned that he doesn't have the background education to qualify for nursing school, but Sister points out that as a mature candidate, Martin can take a test through their Education Department, and begin training if he passes. She suggests that Martin talk to Russell Carver, and even offers to make a call on Martin's behalf to get the ball rolling.

Deirdre and Tracy help move Ken and his bags back to his flat. Ken is quite confident that he's now capable of taking care of himself, and even tells Tracy that he expects to be back in the classroom the following week.

Liz arrives at the bike shop looking very pleased with herself, and tells Jim that she just bought herself a new blouse -- to celebrate. Seems she didn't tell anyone in advance, but she had an interview that afternoon, and has now found herself a new job as barmaid at the Legion. The best part is that she'll be getting 80p/hour more than Alec was paying.

Back at Bettabuys, Curly is doing everything he can to make up for his previously condescending treatment of Vanessa, so he's laying the flattery on with a trowel. Unfortunately, just as he seems to be getting somewhere, Reg arrives and is upset to find that Vanessa is working in the wine section. While Curly tries his to intercede on her behalf, Reg blethers on about her inexperience, and ultimately she's consigned to checking chickens again, much to her confusion and consternation. Eventually Curly gets an opportunity to tell Reg that Brendan Scott showed up, but angered over Reg's arrogance, he doesn't bother to tell him about Vanessa's father.

At home, Martin tells Gail what he learned that day about the possibility of becoming a nurse. Gail is less than encouraging, and when pushed, she admits that she's troubled by his ambitions because it makes her feel old. When she was his age, she was tied down by two kids and her future was set, but Martin is going in a new direction. Martin reminds her that he now has three kids, and it's precisely for that reason that he wants to improve their lot. Gail apologizes and agrees that he should go for it.

Don Brennan buys Vera a drink at the Rover's Return and tells Jack that the undertaker is quite miffed at the way Jack acted at the funeral the day before -- and he wants his suit back. Jack confides that Alec has been a misery since he caught him. Behind the bar, Raquel complains to Bet that it wasn't her fault that Liz lost her job. She feels that she's being blamed for a lot of hard feelings, and offers to quit. Elsewhere in the bar, Curly tells Angie that Vanessa is the Chairman's daughter, and he has decided that she's a "plant," put there to spy on upper management for her father. He goes on to say that ever since he learned who Vanessa is, he's been going out of his way to butter her up, but he's also decided not to tell Reg. "He can dig his own grave" is Curly's conclusion.

Heather Morlan

Vanessa Morgan: IMOGEN BOORMAN Brendan Scott: MILTON JOHNS Sister Walker: CAROL NOAKES
Written by PAUL ABBOTT Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Thursday (3355, Monday 9 March 1992)

Bits and pieces: Ken is on his feet and back in his flat. He's gingerly attempting to get back to work today, as long as he takes it easy. Jim seems to be managing without his local brew and now that Liz will be working at the Legion it looks as if she'll have an Irish bodyguard in residence. Liz does make a seemingly throwaway remark about the lack of success lately of Jim's bike business which Jim describes as a "quiet spell".

Curly starts the day feeling that he's had his sadistic fun and plans to tell Reg that Vanessa is daughter to the Chairman of the Board this morning, in spite of Angie's evil recommendation that he let Reg hang himself by his own petard. Curly even tries to soften Vanessa's tasks. He allows her to use a pair of ping marigolds (that's rubber gloves!) to help Vera clear up some spilled laundry powder. Vanessa wonders what has caused Curly's apparent turnabout in attitude. Vera reckons Curly may be in love. Reg comes along and spots the gloves, proceeds to give Vanessa another taste of the campaign to break her and her diploma. Curly tries to intercede to no avail but he does manage to get Reg to agree to meet with him in the office later.

Raquel must have got up on the wrong side of the bed as she snaps at Des for not making her breakfast and is distinctly unimpressed by his lazy lackadaisical unambitious attitude on his day off. She's disturbed when he retorts that his day off is his to do with as he pleases, same as hers would be. After all, it's his house and he can do whatever he likes, he's no commitments anymore. Needless to say, Raquel, out of eyeshot in the kitchen, has a disconcerting moment when she realizes that their romantic little arrangement may just mean more to her than it does to Des. Later in the pub at dinnertime, her mate Lorraine arrives to see her. Seems Lorraine and Denise need a new flatmate and the room is offered to Raquel who politely turns it down. She's quite settled now, thank you very much. Oh? Somewhere nice? SomeBODY nice, Raquel smiles. They dish a bit until Des arrives and is introduced. Raquel's contact lenses seem to have somewhat green shine when it appears that Des has taken quite a shine to Lorraine, buying her drinks and having a laugh in a booth.

Mavis is feeling the effects of spring in the air, and romance in her heart as she teases Andy MacDonald about his new girlfriend before homing in on Rita and her budding romance. Mavis is delighted to hear that Rita is cooking a meal for Ted at hers tonight! No more questions, Ladeh! Rita warns Mavis and tells her to go stick the kettle on for coffee.

In Reg's office, Curly waits and spots a Bettabuy's newsletter which touts a new dynamic and young manager appointed to a Chesterfield branch. When Reg arrives, Curly forgets his original intent and takes Reg to task for once again failing to notify Curly of open managerial opportunities in the Bettabuys empire. Reg tries to persuade Curly that he'll let him know if there's an opening he thinks would be suitable (which of course is not up to Reg to decide). Reg seems hot to keep Curly under his wing as heir apparent, Dauphin and Crown Prince until he retires. Curly sees it more as a jail sentence and exacts his revenge. He says nothing about the real identity of Princess Vanessa of Morgan, smirks at Reg and leaves, quoting Reg himself "Power is Knowledge!" Indeed! Later he watches with satisfaction as BeTwitched castigates Cinderella over a broken bottle of something or other.

Liz drops into the corner shop for frozen oven chips. Deirdre takes the mick out of Alf and suggests to Liz that she may have a valid complaint against Alec for age discrimination and should take it to her local Councilor. Hizzoner, smelling controversy, immediately makes himself scarce to the back room, much to the amusement of the women. Liz tells Deirdre it isn't an issue anymore as she's got herself a job anyway.

Back at Des's house, Raquel quizzes Phyllis about Des's former girlfriends. She isn't reassured by Phyllis describing Des as footloose and fancy free, much like herself. Des arrives home and when Raquel makes a somewhat snippy remark about his interest in Lorraine, he seems to subtly make a pointed remark that Lorraine was a laugh, are there anymore like her? If it was supposed to be a hint, i think Raquel got it. (You're not the only fish in the sea, luvvie, he's not serious about you!)

An abrupt change of scenery lands us in the Platt household where Martin has just come home, bouncing with enthusiasm about his prospects. Seems he had a chat with a fellow porter who passed on some vague references to the bright futures of nursing careers. Gail, still stinging from insecurities, points out that Martin really should find out more about the financial details such as how much he will be paid and what the hours are before he dives into something that is going to cause upheaval for them all. Martin takes this as pouring cold water on his plans when really it's just sensible advice but he goes off after tea to pout in the pub where he does get a word of encouragement from Ken, always a supporter of higher education.

Also that evening in the pub, Reg buys Angie a drink which surprises her since she has confirmed that he did have a revealing conversation with Curly that day. But it's apparent soon enough to Angie that Curly didn't tell Reg about Princess Vanessa after they talk at cross purposes for a few sentences. She keeps quiet even though Reg is ticked off that Curly is apparently telling his flatmate about company business (lost career opportunities, making him look bad of course) and when Curly arrives he gives Curly a precious piece of what mind he has left (probably one that shook loose during a particularly violent twitch). Curly quickly finds Angie but is relieve to find out that she hasn't debagged any stray cats, vowing to give Reg enough rope to hang himself from the rafters of Bettabuys' home office.

Mavis crows to Derek in the pub on how suitable she thinks Ted is for Rita but Derek doesn't think so. He calls Ted a Dullard and i hate to say it but i agree. We become a fly on the wall of Rita's flat where she's having a pleasant evening with the Dullard. She tells him about Jenny and Sharon (who is described as only staying with Len and Rita for 9 months before taking off and aside from Len's Funeral, Rita hasn't seen her since and has no idea where she is. And now, in 1999 after Sharon shows up again, Rita considers her close enough to be a real daughter!!!!!!) His affections are growing, evidenced by his remark about feeling like a lucky man indeed, even though he's widowed, childless and retired. At the end of the evening, mindful of Rita's early hours, Ted takes his leave. He suggests Mavis take the early shift another day so he can return the favour and treat Rita to a dinner that she won't have to rush home from. He makes his amorous intentions clear by bending over quickly and kissing Rita briefly and chastely on the lips before he goes, leaving her with a smile on her face.

Diane Johnston

Vanessa Morgan IMOGEN BOORMAN Lorraine Kinsey DARYL FISHWICK
Written by MARTIN ALLEN Directed by JULIAN JARROLD

Friday (3356, Wednesday 11 March 1992)

Morning bustling in the Platt kitchen. Gail is busy clearing the breakfast things while Martin sits at the table with the kids, coaxing David to drink his juice by playing "aeroplane". Gail comes over to snap at Sarah Lou - to go up and wash her face, and Nicky - to hurry up or he'll be late. Having scared the kids away, Gail tells Martin she is sorry for "last night". Never mind, he tells her. At least now he knows what she thinks of his studying to be a nurse. Gail denies that she thinks anything about it, insisting that she doesn't know enough about it to have an opinion. In a bid to soothe his hurt feelings, she offers a kiss and a hug. As they make up, she says she thinks he'd make a smashing nurse and that she'd be happy to supply a reference. She only wants to know more about it first.

Raquel is just out of bed and comes downstairs to find Des on his way out already. She remarks that he's early today and he explains he wanted to get a bit of early shopping in. He's in the market for a new suit for the company outing next week, a day at the races. She tells him that she'll just get her face on and come with him but he politely declines, saying he won't get a parking space if he waits. Raquel represses her disappointment but stops him again to ask if he thinks she should accept Lorraine's offer to share a flat. He thinks it's a brilliant idea, he says, which leads Raquel to suggest with a hint of annoyance that he "fancies" Lorraine. "She's a laugh, but not my type", he answers lightly.

Mavis, starting her workday in the Kabin, is indulging a good yawn which prompts Rita to ask why she's so tired. It's Derek, she explains. He was up pacing the floor half the night "like a caged lion". Rita teases that it sounds "exciting" but seeing Mavis' look of reproach, assures her that something will turn up soon for him. Mavis brings Ted Sullivan into the conversation, supposing he "hasn't a worry in the world". Rita says she doesn't see how Ted comes into it but Mavis points out that they've been out together several times now. Maybe so, says Rita. She finds him good company but nothing more. Mavis playfully says she thought of Ted as the "romantic type" evoking from Rita a good natured, "Well you can think again!"

Angie enters the shop to pay her rent now that she's got money. Mavis asks about her new waitressing job and Angie says she's only putting in a couple nights a week but the tips are good. She also mentions to Rita that Curly has requested that she come over to No. 7 this evening to check out a "damp patch" behind the kitchen sink. Rita replies that she can thank Curly for his gracious invitation but that she's otherwise engaged this evening. "Ted again?" asks Mavis smiling. Turning to Angie as a "woman of the world", Rita prevails upon her to explain to her assistant that going out for an evening with a friend does not mean that she'll end up in "Bride" magazine!

In the Corner Shop, Liz is telling Deirdre and Betty her impressions of working at the Legion. It's posher than she expected - they wear regimental ties and blazers there. Betty expresses surprise that it isn't dumpier - Jack Duckworth goes there, after all. Liz admits the place is a trifle run down but she wouldn't call it a dump. "Beer is 15 pence cheaper than at the Rovers", she adds. "Probably why Jack goes", Deirdre jokes. At least there's no Alec to put up with at the Legion, Betty points out. Liz admits she's happy to have a job again - being home was beginning to drive her crazy! She was so bored last week that she baked a loaf of bread, she confesses. "Oooh - homemade bread!" Betty enthuses. She launches into a reminiscence of what it was like when she'd come home as a girl to find fresh bread on the table with a pot of homemade jam and the kettle boiling on the hearth. "Those were the days", she says fondly. "Yeah ñ ricketsÖ TV..." Deirdre interjects with humour. "And don't forget the 'cludgey' in the backyard!" Liz adds.

Vera is wistfully pricing merchandise in Bettabuys when Reg flounces past her. Pricing gun in hand, she runs to catch up and ask him what he thinks of Ted Sullivan. Vera admits she could fancy him herself if she weren't so "attached to R Jack". Reg snorts that he thinks he's a "flash type". He's sure that "Mrs. Fairclough, being a woman of sophistication and discernment, will soon have his car parked." With an air of bravado, he adds, "Oh yes - she'll soon send him packing!" As he walks away, Vera stands muttering under her breath, "You should know!"

In the international foods aisle of the store, Curly finds Miss Morgan looking despairingly at packages of dried Chinese noodles. She laments that they're close to their sell-by dates but people just don't seem interested. Curly agrees - "Folks don't think twice about lashing out on a take-away Egg Foo Yung but when they see the products in the store, they become raving gastronomic Sinophobes". Vanessa comes up with the suggestion of a display. She could arrange the products in such a way as to de-mystify them to the customers. Curly thinks it's a wonderful plan and gives her the go ahead.

At the hospital, Martin goes in for his interview with the administrator. When the man tells him what the academic qualifications for becoming a nurse are, Martin sees no hope and rises to leave. The administrator stops him - there is *another* way to meet the criteriaÖ

Vera spots Vanessa's display of Chinese food items just as she is adding the finishing touches. It does look impressive. A wok and several rice bowls with chopsticks provide the ornamentation among packages of noodles, rice and fortune cookies, as well as jars of plum and soya sauce. Vera says she can't get Jack to eat anything "foreign", not even French fries or a Swiss roll. (LOL!!!) Vanessa helpfully suggests that she try a stir fry and explains how easy it is. Vera optimistically decides to give it a go. In her enthusiasm she calls Mr. Holdsworth over to see Vanessa's handiwork. He takes one look and orders Vera to get back to her pricing before lighting into Miss Morgan. "What is this?!" he demands. "Looks like a Bombay back street!" "Canton, actually - we're in China", she corrects him coolly. Whatever it is, he wants it removed. The customers don't want this kind of thing anyway, he insists. It's head office's silly idea to sell it, he adds with disdain. Anyway, he adds, it's creating an obstruction. Whatever possessed her to set it up in the first place, he wonders? "I did have Mr. Watts' approval", she answers defensively, "You know, the *assistant manager*?" "Thank you - I'm well aware of Mr. Watts' position here and his views!" Reg snaps. "Now take it down *pronto*! Or should I say, 'chop chop'!" he sniggers.

In the pub for lunch, Emily is treated somewhat shabbily by Raquel. Taking the high road as always, Emily apologises to the barmaid, "in case she has somehow caused any offense". Raquel lightly dismisses the apology saying it isn't Emily, it's her. Alec steps up to beg Emily's pardon for Raquelís "mood". Turning to Derek, he moans about Raquel not being "in form" today. Derek says he thinks Alec is forgetting she's a human being, subject to the same ups and downs as anyone. But Alec retorts that he doesn't pay her to be up and down!

Martin discusses his interview with Sister Walker, telling her about the test he is supposed to take. It's only an IQ test and she has faith in him, she says, so much that she's betting a quid that he'll pass. "Is that all?" Martin jokes. Anyway, there's the money to consider, Martin adds. It's not as much as he would have expected, at least to start. "But there are other rewards", she points out, adding that she'd be happy to have him on her team. She ups her wager to two quid and they agree Martin should at least take the test.

As the pub is clearing out for tea time closing, Rita drinks up, joking to Betty that she'll get a "reputation" if she's not careful. "You've only had the one!" Betty replies. As Rita goes out, Alec follows her to shut the door after her. On his return, he absently tells Raquel to lock the door. Continuing to polish table tops, she says without looking up, "Please". He stops to beg her pardon and she repeats unflinchingly, "Say 'please'!" Taken aback by her boldness, he stops to give her a talking to but thinks better of it. Assessing that Raquel must have a "women's complaint", he suggests she take the rest of the day off. She protests that she needs the money and besides, there's "nothing" for her across the road. Relenting, Alec suggests that she get off now and have a rest. Turning to Betty, he presumes to say that she won't mind doing the tables. "Oh no", Betty answers caustically, "I don't mind doing the tables - *and* the empties, *and* the washing up, *and* the toilets!"

Curly happens upon Vanessa taking down the display on Reg's orders. Bewildered, he asks the reason and she answers with bitterness that she was, "contravening company mobility regulations, not to mention enticement to eating foreign foods". Sussing that Reg has struck again, Curly consoles her that at least she can move to another store - *he's* stuck with him! Reg happens along just then and demands to know what Curly is doing. Curly offers that he was "helping" Miss Morgan. Reg doesn't think she needs any help and sends Curly off to take care of some other matter. After he goes, Reg turns to Vanessa and warns her that she'd better not be getting ideas about Curly. He advises her to keep her emotions in tact, not to get any notions of attaching herself to the juniour manager, though he can see how "alluring" Curly must seem to her, she who is "clutching at the bottom rung of the Bettabuy ladder". Just the same, he doesn't want to see her "cavorting" with Mr. Watts, he warns. "If you want to succeed, you'll have to climb on your own merits!" he exhorts. "We weren't 'cavorting'!" she protests. Reg doesn't stay around to argue the point - he has spoken.

With Des home, Raquel asks about his new suit. He says he didn't see anything he liked. After a brief pause, she steels herself to again ask him what he thinks she should do about the flat Lorraine is moving to. "Depends what you want", he answers. "If you think you want it, you better not hang about!", he advises. Not getting the answer she hoped for, she asks if he'll be in the Rovers tonight. Again, he's noncommittal - depends what else might come up. Poor Raquel still has no indication of his feelings for her, one way or another.

Alf comes into the shop to relieve Deirdre for the evening. As Deirdre leaves, Reg enters and asks Alf for some shoe polish. Alf goes to the back for it leaving Rita parceling her purchases and Reg attempting to pass the time of day with her. He offers her some advice about "this Ted Sullivan character", suggesting he might be a bit "risky". Rita clearly resents his interference and informs Reg that she feels "a damn sight safer with Ted" than she does when she's with him! "Oh?" asks Reg helplessly. "At least *he* keeps his hands to himself!" she retorts, leaving Reg in her dust.

Alma has come in for a drink at the Rovers. Ken sees her from his table near the bar and offers to get it for her, but she politely refuses. She asks him how his back is and whether he's back at school yet. Ken answers politely that his back is fine and that he is back to teaching now. They smile awkwardly at one another and then she moves to another table with her drink.

Seated in one of the booths, Derek and Mavis discuss Rita's relationship with Ted. Mavis reckons a romance is blooming but Derek thinks it's only that Ted needs to grab onto something from his career now that he's retired. He imagines Ted boring Rita to tears with talk of the relative merits of humbugs over sugared almonds. "Oh no - they're seeing a romantic picture together and then he's taking her to a nice restaurant", Mavis smiles knowingly.

Martin and Gail cuddle on the sofa while he tells her the implications of starting a new career as a nurse. He wonders if they'll be able to manage on the wages he'll earn as he expects to make less at the beginning than he does as a porter. She seems confident they'll get by, even if they have to pull in their belts another notch. He tells her he doesn't even know if he'll qualify yet - there's still the test. Gail seems surprised to hear there's a test involved. He explains that it's just an IQ test to determine whether he can handle the course material and not to worry, he has a week to revise. "A week?" she repeats dully. "Well, they offer them every few months and it just happens there's one next week, so I put me name down", he explains. "You what?!" she replies irately.

Rita and Ted are seated at a candlelit table and looking forward to a lavish meal in the restaurant he's chosen. She notices at the menu prices and asks if he won't let her pay for her own supper. He won't hear of it and gently chastises her for even looking at the prices. He then notices sardines featured for £7.95 and comments that he can have those at home from a tin! Realising that Rita may be fond of sardines, he quickly apologises. She puts him at his ease by saying that she was rather thinking of a fried egg sandwich. They share a laugh and then he suggests champagne with their dinner. He beckons for the waitress and lo and behold - it's Angie! Of course, Ted doesn't know Angie so he casually asks her to get the wine steward for them. She smiles when she sees who Ted's dining companion is and greets Rita warmly. Rita, for her part seems a bit embarrassed to see Angie.

Back to the Platts, now bickering in full force over Martin's decision to sign up for the test. Gail is angry that he's "committed" himself but he honestly can't see why. (Nor can I!) The test is requisite to the application and yes, he writes it next week but the results won't be in for another two or three weeks after that, which gives them plenty of time to think about things. "Anyway", he adds, "portering is a dead end job and he wants to do something worthwhile with his life. Gail takes umbrage at this, reading into it that Martin thinks running a cafe *isn't* "worthwhile". Of course he didn't mean that, but she's on a tangent. She picks up the study manual and reads aloud: "Which is the odd one out - predict, speculate, auger, reminisce or prognosticate?" Slapping the book down, she asks in alarm if he's read *these*? He quietly affirms that he has and she asks in disbelief, "And you reckon you'll walk it?!"

Anita Belanger

Vanessa Morgan: IMOGEN BOORMAN Administrator: STEPHEN TOMLIN Sister Walker: CAROL NOAKES
Written by: PHIL WOODS Directed by: JULIAN JARROLD


Originally transmitted: 13, 16, 18, 20 & 23 March 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 23 - Friday 27 August 1999
Episode Numbers: 3357 - 3361

Monday (3357, Friday 13 March 1992)

Before Des rushes off to work, Raquel tells him she's going to move in with her friend Lorraine on Monday. Des doesn't give her the response she was hoping for when he offers to help her shift her stuff. Raquel tells Phyllis she's moving out but Phyllis mistakenly defends what she thinks is Des's broken heart and snaps at Raquel. Why is she suprised, then, when Raquel screams back at her to shut up!?

Angie is standing quietly in the shop listening to Mavis praise Ted Sullivan and his budding relationship with Rita. Not her type of course, but he's put the colour back into Rita's cheeks. Mavis speculates on what time Rita got home last night, after midnight for sure, as the glitter of possible impropriety lights up Mavis's eyes. Angie is discreet about her involvement until Rita arrives and spills the beans about Angie being the waitress at the posh restaurant. Angie whispers "A quarter to one i think, Mavis, is the answer to your question" and she leaves Mavis, red faced. A few minutes later, Mavis seems to have recovered as she stands still in the middle of the shop, playing "statue" i guess. She tells Rita she's waiting for something to happen! Come again? Well it's Friday the 13th and something always happens. Liz arrives for a new pair of tights, having snagged hers. See? They chat a few minutes about Liz's new job at the Legion though Mavis most definitely looks down her nose at the "clientele" (said dripping with disapproval). Liz reckons she's had her bad luck for the day, being encouraged by Mavis on her first day at work.

Once she leaves, Mavis has the chance to probe into Rita's social calendar, noting that she is going out dancing with Ted. Out almost every night of the week, she teases but Rita is low key about it. (how can she be anything but? She's only had one brotherly peck on the lips so far, that we've seen! Hardly an earth shattering hormonal chemical meltdown of a kiss!) Mavis starts to tell Rita about a problem that Derek has but Rita, fearing a description of some untold biological catastrophe, declines to continue the conversation. (We find out later in the pub that Rita asked Mavis and Derek to go dancing too and the problem turned out to be flat feet causing Derek no end of embarrassment and protestations that he can take a turn around a dance floor with the best of them!)

Reg is continuing his reign of terror against Princess Vanessa. He orders Curly to instruct her to the cheese department to cut up chunks of cheese to be weighed priced and wrapped. It doesn't matter that Curly had her performing that task yesterday, Reg insists she do it again today. Curly relays the command but Vanessa can't see the point as there is more than enough cheese cut to feed the whole of Britain for the weekend and she refuses to waste both hers and the company's time. Curly isn't bothered but later Reg waddles down the aisle (he really does walk from the knees down!) and takes a strip off Vanessa but she holds her ground. He orders her and she pretends to comply but collars Vera for a mountain to Mohammed mission (LOL Vera wonders if she's going to need her coat!) She and Vera bring a cart piled high with cheeses into Reg's office, planning to shift the mountain to the desk and chair. Reg catches them at it, reeling backwards from the stench of the stilton and wensleydale and goes ballistic but again, HRH holds fast and in the end, he orders her to tidy up the frozen fish once the cheese is returned to its rightful shelf.

Gail rants to Alma about Martin's career ambitions, feeling he should be spending what free time he has with his mates. He's already got so many responsibilities after all. Rather than spending all his time studying, he should be coming home after work and maybe spending an evening in the pub. Sounds like she needs a Jack Duckworth clone, Alma remarks pointedly. But Gail misses the point. Later Martin finally admits how he feels. He tells Gail that it feels like he's dragging a stone, with her always saying no every time he wants to do something before she even thinks about it. Can't she just sometimes say yes? He cites the new house example for one. She realizes that her ultra cautious manner seems to be holding him back, in addition to her insecurity about the age difference between them. (Gail is one of those people that can be spontaneous, all right, as long as you give her fair warning! ) Martin agrees he sometimes springs things on her out of the blue and teases her about her age, which lands him a teddy bear across the face for his efforts! LOL

Liz is shown around the lounge of the Legion by the manager. She seems confident and anxious to get started. Jim is planning to spend the evening at the Legion, as he's dressed in a shirt and tie but he gets side tracked by Andy who's brought Paula home. They are looking forward to watching a video and having the house to themselves so Jim decides to have a little fun with his son and pretends to settle down on the settee with them to keep them company. Andy is nearly in tears of frustration so Jim just chuckles and gets on his way, leaving them sighing with relief.

In the pub tonight, Reg is pompously nattering to Alec about his good for nowt trainee with her college degree and big ideas. Another fleeting comment about Rita out with Ted, "It'll all end in tears, oh yes!" (but more on that later). Curly decides to sling the last bit of rope over the post as he congratulates Reg for not showing any favoritism in Vanessa's case. He connects the dots between Head Office Letterhead Lord "Black Jack" Morgan and Princess Vanessa....Morgan! get it? Reg feels the noose tighten as he realizes that he has rowed himself well and truly up the canal and lost his paddles.

Rita and Ted are in a sophisticated but understated lounge watching the dancing couples and later joining them. After an evening of small talk, Ted hesitantly brings up a new subject. Florida. He wants to know if Rita would fancy it and tells her he'd like to take her there. She seems surprised but flattered. But he clarifies, no, not on a fortnight's holiday...he wants to live there with her, as his wife! Rita pales and nearly falls off her heels with shock. She's definitely got to think about this one and totters off the dance floor to sit down. (Well wouldn't you when the only kiss you've received from this man (that we've seen) could hardly be called a hormonally charged chemical meltdown of a lip-lock!)

Diane Johnston

Mike Maddocks ANDY ABRAHAMS
Written by STEPHEN MALLATRAT Directed by JULIAN JARROLD

Tuesday (3358, Monday 16 March 1992)

We once again begin our Corrie day with Des and Raquel, who frankly are a rather unsympathetic pair in my opinion. Raquel rambles a bit about how she is leaving today, watching Des carefully for any sign of concern. He is busy eyeing himself in the mirror as he ties his tie and doesn't make eye contact with her as he says, "So you'll be gone when I get home then, will you?" Disappointed, she offers to throw her key through the mail slot after she leaves, but Des says for her to hang onto it and "give it to me when you see me", leaving the poor girl even more confused. In the pub, Jack doesn't help Raquel's foul mood when he offers her "B&B at Duckworth Towers". She is unimpressed, particularly when Jack says he knew it wouldn't last with her and Des!

Later in the day, while back at the house for her things, Raquel is surprised to find Des there. He says he came home due to a headache. Suddenly, seemingly out of the blue, he asks her why she's going! She says she thought it was what he wanted, and he says he thought it was what she and Lorraine wanted. With that out in the open, he asks her to stay. She's distraught that he let her go through all the packing and fretting without saying a word - "When I think of what you've put me through!" she cries - but she agrees to stay with him and they we leave them on their way upstairs to celebrate.

Reg Holdsworth calls Curly on the carpet to berate him for not informing Reg that new employee Vanessa Morgan was company Chairman Lord Black Jack Morgan's daughter. "You let me treat her like..." sputters Reg. "...like an ordinary employee!" retorts Curly. He likens his not telling Reg about Vanessa's family ties to being like Reg not telling Curly about several significant openings he might have qualified for in other branches. He then stalks out saying he's busy.

Reg can't pursue him as he is too busy trying to make amends to Vanessa for his earlier shabby treatment by oozing benevolence with a trowel. He asks Vanessa to recreate her creative display of Asian foods - the one he had previously demanded she dismantle. Vanessa is naturally bewildered by all this baffling mind-changing and order-reversing. When he sees the recreated display and hears that Reg is now singing its praises, Curly isn't bewildered - he's seething with indignation at Reg's duplicity. Vanessa tells Curly that she would like to request some time off tomorrow as her father - who she doesn't identify by name - will be in town on business and wishes to take her out for a meal. Curly says that will be fine and when Vanessa asks if she should notify Mr. Holdsworth Curly replies that staff hours are his (Curly's) responsibility and he will deal with it.

Mavis is still pumping poor Rita for information about Ted. Rita snaps that you can't look at a man round Coronation Street without people having you waltzing up the aisle! *We* know this is a telling remark, of course, as Ted proposed out of the blue the previous evening - if only Mavis knew *that*! For all her penchant for speculation Mavis amusingly misses the target altogether by commenting that she doesn't see Ted as the marrying kind. Mr. Sullivan himself comes in and Rita sends the Mave off for biscuits, but Ted isn't here for an answer to his question, having told Rita she could have time to think it over. No, he's merely hoping for a date that evening as he is off to visit his sister for a couple of days. Rita agrees and the plans are made.

Rita later goes round for a cup of tea with Bet and confides in her about Ted's sudden proposal to marry and retire to Florida together. She couldn't ask for a better companion, she says, extolling Ted's quiet virtues, but she recognizes that what seems to be lacking in their relationship is passion! She'd at least like someone who "fancies" her, she says - sexually is the unspoken implication - is that asking too much at her age? Bet replies that her and Alec get more out of life together than they do apart, and that when the right man comes along, you know it. If Ted is the right man for Rita, Bet says, the allure of Florida won't make a bit of difference to her - "you'd be happy shacked up in a tent on the red rec!" But if he isn't, she goes on, he isn't and nothing will make him so. (Interestingly, Bet noticably doesn't ascribe passion to her and Alec's relationship while seeming to imply to Rita that it *is* very important!)

That evening, after dinner together, Ted and Rita return to her flat. Upon finding out that Mavis will be doing the early papers and Rita doesn't have to get up, Ted finally makes his move, kissing her passionately. He assures a breathless Rita that he respects her and doesn't want to do anything she doesn't want to... but that if they did do anything, it would be for "the right reasons". We leave them gazing deeply into each other's eyes in a lovers' embrace.

In an aside to the Rita and Ted storyline, Reg sticks his oar way in by having a word with Mavis and Derek at the Rovers. He says that he is concerned about the company Mrs. Fairclough is keeping and implies that Ted may be merely after Rita's money - she is, after all, a widow with a thriving little business. Derek insists that it is none of their business, and Mavis stands up for Ted who she says is a real gentleman, but could a seed of doubt have been planted?

Gail, who has been as supportive as a toffee ladder about Martin's new career goals, confides to Alma that she's afraid he's putting too much emphasis on the upcoming test (to qualify for nursing school)and that he'll be devastated if (she seems to mean 'when') he fails. Later in the pub Alma rather uncharacteristically sticks her noes in and asks Kevin if he'd have a quiet word with Martin; Kev is not to say anything to Gail or Martin about this, she urges, but Alma confides that Gail is afraid Martin will fail the exam and that he'll be deeply upset by the blow. Kevin even more uncharacteristically and with un-Kev-like insight replies that nothing will undermine Martin's self-confidence like people going round and putting it into his head that failure is a possibility. If he does fail, that's the time to help Martin pick up the pieces, says Wise Old Kevin (who are you and what have you done with Webster???), not before!

Kevin needn't have bothered to worry about it one way or the other. That evening as Martin studies, (studying? for what has been described as "an I.Q. test"? isn't that an old joke?) becoming a bit short-tempered with the kids in the process, Gail galumps in with her size nine boots and gives him a speech about the test being "not the most important thing in the world". (Honestly! If she were any more of a wet blanket she wouldn't be allowed to handle electrical cords for fear of shocks.) After she leaves him having imparted her gloomy wisdom, Martin stares off into the distance and gives a depressed sigh.

Oh, and Liz is being sent off on a food safety and hygiene course by her new employers at the Legion. She tells Big Jim it'll only be a few hours. (I could insert something nasty here about Legions and hygiene but I will refrain, discretion being the better part of valour.)

ronniecat

Ted Sullivan: WILLIAM RUSSELL Vanessa Morgan: IMOGEN BOORMAN
Written by BARRY HILL Directed by IAN WHITE

Wednesday (3359, Wednesday 18 March 1992)

The episode begins at the Platt's, where Gail is hollering at the kids and Martin is pouring over his notes while trying to eat his breakfast. After some sighing and exasperated cracks from Gail, she once again reminds Martin that if he's accepted into the nursing course, he has three years of study ahead of him. Martin responds that he knows that, and asks Gail to have a little faith in him.

Rita arrives late to work at the Kabin, but refuses to divulge any information about her evening with Ted. When Mavis presses for details, Rita cuts her off by telling her that she'll need a bit of time off later in the morning for some "personal business."

Curly is getting ready for his day, while Angie is in the process of cutting-out the pattern pieces for culottes from an old window curtain. She remarks that she still can't believe that Vanessa kept her identity (and her dad's) a secret, and she asks what Vanessa looks like. Curly's witty response is that regardless of Vanessa's appearance, she wouldn't be caught dead in old curtains.

Across the road, Phyllis arrives for another day of cleaning at Des' house, and is surprised to find Raquel still in residence, painting her toenails. Her disappointment is obvious when Raquel explains that Des changed his mind about her moving out.

Rita's "personal business" involves meeting Bet for another tete-a-tete about her romance with Ted. "There's been a new development," Rita says conspiratorially, and without being explicit about how she and Ted spent the latter part of their evening together, she confides that her complaint of him being a "total" gentleman is in the past. Or, to put it another way, "certain things" she thought to be missing in the relationship, are not. But Rita does have some misgivings, because while she's flattered to know that someone fancies her, she also remembers that the last time she felt this way and was attracted to a man, it was to Alan Bradley -- and that was fatal. Bet gently reminds her that life is about taking risks, and her advice is that Rita should "go for it."

Over at the Legion, Jim MacDonald is chatting with Mike, Liz' boss, who complains that the new regulations imposed by Environmental Health are costing him a fortune in upgraded kitchen equipment. Liz feels that the change in regulations will ultimately be better for all concerned, since no one wants to contract salmonella or food poisoning.

Mavis and Emily arrive at the Rover's Return for their lunch, and both order Hot Pot, as do Alf and Jim at the bar. Betty reminds Jim that he's been barred, but Jim is fairly confident that Alec would rather make money than evict patrons. When Jack Duckworth brings over Mavis' lunch, he tells her that he's been prevented from even getting his morning cup of tea because Bet and Rita have been "holed-up" in the living room for two mornings in a row. When Jim is served his hot pot, he immediately begins questioning Betty on where and how his food was cooked, and then he makes an announcement to the other patrons that he's confiscating the hot pot so that it can be examined by officials with Environmental Health.

Back at the Kabin, Mavis confronts Rita about where she was that morning when she needed time off for "personal business." Rita explains that she feels in a bit of a muddle, and needed some advice from a friend, but Mavis is deeply hurt that Rita didn't feel she could turn to her for help.

Meanwhile, back at the Rover's Return, Betty is crying because Jim has challenged her cooking methods and removed her hot pot for investigation by Environmental Health. While others try to comfort her and tell her to take no notice, Emily feels Jim shouldn't be criticised for being cautious.

At Bettabuys, we are treated to a shot of a distinguished-looking gentleman examining and squeezing a tomato. He is almost immediately accosted by Reg Holdsworth, who makes a crack about not squeezing until the product has been purchased. The gentleman points out that Bettabuys is a self-serve store, and wonders how customers are to assess the quality of a product without checking it first. Reg implies that the gentleman has ulterior motives, accuses him of being a "dirty old man," and summons Curly to escort him from the premises. When Curly announces that the gentleman is none other than Lord Morgan, Reg's face is a picture of shock.

We return to the Rover's Return, where Bet and Alec discuss their worries over the new health regulations being introduced. Alec feels they have no choice -- they have to either stop serving food, or completely re-equip the kitchen, which will be very expensive.

Back at Bettabuys, Reg tries to worm his way out of an awkward situation by claiming that it's all the pressures of work that prevented him from recognizing Lord Morgan. Vanessa approaches, happy to see her father, and when Vera registers surprise at Vanessa's father's identity, she wangles for an introduction. Reg does his best to get rid of Vera, but the introduction is made, followed by Lord Morgan's advice that Reg treat all staff with respect. Reg cowtows by offering Lord Morgan a cup of tea in his office.

Liz gets home from work to find a cold "hot pot" on the dining room table. She demands an explanation, and Jim takes great delight in telling her how he had a great joke on Alec by threatening to report them to Environmental Health. Liz immediately thinks of the impact Jim's actions would have had on Betty, so she isn't amused, and tells Jim his joke was spiteful.

At the Platt's, Martin confonts Gail about her doubts that he will succeed at nursing school. Gail admits that she has confidence in his abilities, but that the problem lies with her. She's afraid that if their lives change, they'll grow apart. By going back to school, Martin is bound to meet new people and find new interests, and she's frightened that he'll lose interest in her as a consequence. Martin reassures her that he loves her, and that that will never change. After a kiss and a snog, Gail admits that she's being silly.

Over drinks at the Rover's Return, Vera tells others about meeting Vanessa's father, and Alf and Angie have a good laugh when they learn of Reg's initial treatment of Lord Morgan, wishing they could have seen his face when he learned the truth. Reg arrives, and Angie has fun teasing him for jumping to the conclusion that Lord Morgan was a "dirty old man."

Mavis and Dererk arrive for a celebratory drink. Derek has an interview for a job the following day, and while Mavis is optimistic, Derek can only continue to moan about the mind-destroying aspect of being unemployed.

Behind the bar, Alec seems to have decided that it will be too expensive to refit the kitchen, so they'll have no option but to stop serving food. This means that Betty will no longer have a role to play at the Rover's Return, and will have to be let go. Bet looks glum as she ponders this new information.

Heather Morlan

Mike Maddocks: ANDY ABRAHAMS Lord Morgan: DAVID ELLISON
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by IAN WHITE

Thursday (3360, Friday 20 March 1992)

There's quite a miscellany of storylines today, bits and bobs here and there. One or two decisions that may or may not be quite wise as well...

Derek has another job interview, and is more nervous than the proverbial (don't look, Veronica and Mojo!) cat on the hot tin roof. He snaps at Mavis and shakes and fumbles trying to get his pockets filled, tolerating Mavis gushing over his qualities. Derek says he will tell the truth about why he lost his last job, that he was too big for his last job and his employer was too small for his!

Bet and Alec argue about keeping Betty on without hot food on the menu. Bet of course sticks up for Betty, a reliable veteran but Alec, predictably has nothing but contempt for the older woman. If he had a moustache he would be twirling it in glee at the prospect of finally being able to be shut of Betty! When Bet suggests the "Last in first out" theory of sacking staff, Alec refuses. Raquel brings in the punters but nervously assumes Bet could tell Betty the bad news. No way, Gilroy, Bet insists, you're name over the door, you do it! Betty arrives just then and Bet turns away, not able to meet her eyes. Alec reluctantly tells Betty that they can't afford to upgrade the kitchen and buy new equipment so they won't be serving hot food anymore. Betty isn't too upset and leaves straightaway to make a start setting up the bar. One less job to do.

Percy is the first customer out the door when he finds out he can't get real food aside from the very filling crisps, nuts and pork scratching that Raquel suggests. Bet quietly tells Betty that Alec needs to have a word with her out in the back. Betty seems a bit alarmed but goes to speak to Alec who beats plenty of bushes before he finally tells her that she is superfluous to requirements. Betty is shocked that she's being sacked. Alec tries not to put it in those terms, suggesting retirement at her age and nattering on about her police widow's pension. But sacked is sacked and Betty leaves, outraged and all in the bar are now aware that Alec was to blame. He keeps a fairly low profile for the rest of the day as the news spreads via Emily to the Kabin where there is much sympathy for Mrs. Turpin. Derek returns from his interview, chuffed because it went well.

Percy brings the news to the cafe, grumbling about pubs that don't serve food, bureaucrats and red tape and health regulations. He doesn't get much sympathy from Gail and Alma who are in the same business and have to comply with the same regulations. They, too, reckon it was all up to Alec trying to save a few bob. She and Alma reckon the pub's loss will be their gain and grimace a bit at the prospect of an increased lunch rush.

Jack is terrified he will be the next one collecting his cards and scrambles to assure Alec he loves his job and has plenty of work to keep him busy. But Alec has other ideas. Jack is set off to store the hot pot dishes in the cellar and then scrub out the kitchen from top to bottom in case the inspectors come round. Poor Jack later complains about dishpan hands to Vera who promises without much sympathy to buy him a pair of marigolds for his birthday.

Over at Bettabuys we find out that it is Princess Vanessa's last day at the Weatherfield branch as she is being transferred to Walsall, the first Bettabuy's branch. Curly later apologizes to her for being hard on her at first and puts it all down to working with Reg. He hopes she can put in a good word for her at head office but she doesn't think they'll take any notice of her just yet. Thing is, even though Reg was horribly hard on her, her father was impressed that he was the only manager that had the courage to treat her like something less than royalty! And, to Curly's horror, Lord Morgan even told Reg this to his face! (I thought his head was looking bigger!) There will be no living with him now!

Martin is revising for his aptitude test, making up math problems for himself. Nicky looks over his shoulder and points out an error in sums which Martin ignores as the child couldn't possibly be right, could he? But Gail looks too and does the sums in her head and confirms that Nicky is right. Martin checks his addition in his margin scratchings and sheepishly agrees, wondering how they could both do all that in their head! Well Gail proudly praises her lad as always being good with his sums and she's used to doing it in the cafe all day plus she grew up on the old money system, eliciting another teasing age joke from Martin.

In the Garage, Kevin shows Mike his sums, and proves that they have recovered the £1,000 that they paid Halliwell for the maintenance contract. But Mike insists that Kevin continue to fiddle the invoices and maintain the current profit margins or he'll be summing up down at the job center. In a fit of pique, Kevin pulls a high figure out of the air for the next invoice and hands it over to the delivery guy that picks up the invoices! I wasn't sure if that's actually what he did or if he was just being snarky to the driver about picking a number, multiplying it and writing it down. But yes, later in the pub he told Sally that was indeed what he did and now expects to lose his job too!

Ted stops by the pub for a double whiskey, Dutch courage it seems to Bet who, with a quiet word, lets Ted know that she and Rita are old mates and tell each other everything. Ted encounters Reg outside of Rita's door. Reg seems to be wasting time talking about some mutual acquaintance though Ted has no idea what he's talking about. Rita answers the door and greets Ted with a smile and invites him in, throwing a good night to Reg over her shoulder.

Emily visits Betty who is still visibly upset, especially because she is so hurt that Bet never spoke up for her (though we know Bet did in fact defend Betty's case behind closed doors). Alec has to take Percy and Phyllis's acerbic comments on his treatment of Betty purely out of prejudice for old age and Reg crows to Curly in triumph, making vague threats to Curly about what happens to mutinous assistant managers. Had to LOL at Sally telling Kevin how Rosie is chatting to herself all day, and will probably have a lot to say when she grows up! Oh, Sally! You don't realized but the child is already sharpening her tongue!!!

Rita assures Ted that Reg is no rival for him. She notices that Ted is nervous, a bit edgy and when she is told the reason, spends a few minutes telling him what a lovely man he is and how he's turned her life upside down in just three weeks. (!!!) She says YES, thank you, if he still wants her, she'd love to marry him! I groan and start pricing black hats.

Diane Johnston

Van driver PAUL BUTTERWORTH Last appearance of Vanessa Morgan
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by JULIAN FARINO

Friday (3361, Monday 23 March 1992)

There's an air of eager anticipation in the Platt household this morning. As Martin comes downstairs to say his goodbyes to Gail and the kids before going off to write his admissions exam, they strike up a chorus of "Good luck Martin!" He thanks them for the sentiment but doesn't appear overly confident about his chances. After he leaves, Gail tells the children they must keep their fingers crossed all day for Martin. Nicky asks if he mightn't fail - after all, he couldn't do *his* homework. Gail answers with assurance that Martin only had trouble with that because he was out of practice.

In the Kabin, Rita quietly breaks her happy news to Mavis. Just as Mavis is swooning with delight, Bet walks in and asks whether she's accepted Ted's proposal. Mavis is momentarily shocked that Bet knew about it but before she can get her nose out of joint, Bet asks if this means Florida is also in their plans. Rita says it definitely is and Mavis expresses renewed surprise at this development. Happiness all around and Bet jokes that now that she's heard what she came in for, she wonít need to spend any money to find out!

Jack and Liz bump into each other on the way to their respective jobs. Liz confesses she wishes she still worked at the Rovers and asks Jack to give her regards to Betty. Easier said than done, Jack explains, as Betty has been given her cards. Liz is shocked to hear it and asks the reason, only to be told that she ought to know. She marches straight off to see Jim and interrupts a chat between him and Kevin to confront him. He tells her he only said he was going to the Health Department as a "joke" and hasn't actually been. Liz is furious and tells Jim that his "joke" has cost Betty her job! He is crestfallen at the news - Jim never bargained for this, so he didnít!

In the back room of the pub, Alec is blithely defending his actions to Bet as far as his dismissal of Betty is concerned. The Rovers is not a cafe, a burger bar or a pizzeria, he contends. It's a good old English pub, and pubs serve beer, wine and spirits. Bet argues that food is a big part of why people patronise the Rovers and asks sarcastically if he intends to do away with the carpets and lay sawdust on the floors next. He answers that Bet is only thinking of Betty and not considering the broader picture. Her retort that he's only thinking of the brass involved goes unheeded as Alec enters the bar with instructions for Jack and Raquel. It isn't that they are no longer serving food, he tells them, only that the emphasis has been changed. They still have pork scratchings and crisps on offer, after all. Bet stands back and comments wryly that he's making her mouth water.

Sally has brought the children into the cafe for a drink and observes that Sarah Lou is trying to hold her beverage with fingers crossed. Gail chuckles as she explains the reason, then tells her daughter that she needn't cross them while sheís drinking. At the counter, Percy is sounding off to Alma about the injustice of Betty losing her job. He's angry that "modern regulations" have interfered with what seemed to him like a perfectly good operation. Alma points out she and Gail have to comply with the Environmental Health standards so why shouldn't the Rovers?

Mavis is home for dinner and shares Rita's happy news with Derek. It doesn't take Derek long to calculate that Rita can't run the Kabin from Florida. Mavis acknowledges that she was thinking the same thing but didn't want to seem too forward by asking Rita if she intends to sell.

Back in the Rovers, Bet is still trying to persuade Alec that not serving food is a mistake. Takings are down 50 percent, she tells him. All the folk who came in for their dinner have left to eat elsewhere. Jim comes in for a word with Alec but the landlord is indignant that he's dared to show his face and orders him out. Jim tries to explain his reason for coming but Alec refuses to listen and tells Jack to show him out immediately. Finally, Jim blurts out that he hasn't actually been to the Environmental Heath Offices, and only said he had as a joke. Alec is furious to hear it and threatens to sue Jim for his lost revenues. Jim answers that if he's going to be sued, he might well follow through and see the Health Inspector after all. Bet intervenes to say that nobody's suing anyone. She asks Jim if he's telling the truth and he affirms that he is. Turning to Alec, Bet says there's no reason now why they shouldnít return to serving hot food.

Jim may have no intentions of going to the Health Department but Percy is another matter. He is there now, "representing the customers" of the Rovers. He angrily informs Mr. Steele, the Health Inspector, of the problems his office has caused the Rovers. Steele hasn't a clue what Percy is talking about but he's intrigued by his defense of the Rovers as a "fine establishment" and decides perhaps it would be best if he goes in to see for himself...

Home for dinner, Kevin tells Sally he is troubled by the fake figure - "£500 for service" - he entered on the invoice yesterday. He nervously awaits the consequences when the client and especially Baldwin find out what he's done. Sally tells him (twice) what a "stupid thing" it is for him to have done and urges him to call Baldwin and get it sorted.

In the pub, Raquel stops before going home for dinner to tell Bet how much she's enjoying the "nice, quiet" atmosphere in the pub today. In fact, she wishes it were always so "calm and peaceful", she adds with a smile. Bet puts the option to Alec: Does he want to keep Raquel happy - or will he start serving food again? Alec points out weakly that they are still in violation of the health code but Bet replies that they have been for some time so why worry about it now? He finally relents and agrees they can start serving food again tomorrow. Bet is glad to hear it and asks about getting Betty back too. He says he can't possibly ask Betty back - he'll look like a man who doesn't know his own mind. Bet replies with assurance, "You'll look like a man who can respond to a changing situation". Reluctantly, he agrees to have Betty back as well but resentfully adds, "I'll never get shut of her! She should written into the deed of this place!"

In the cafe, Martin is having post-exam jitters. He tells Gail he isn't sure how he fared but his face belies his worry. In an effort to cheer him, she urges him not look at it as a "pass or fail" situation, but as an opportunity to assess whether he'll be suited to the profession, and whether he'll be able to cope with the study load. Alma agrees with this outlook but Martin thinks it's a load of rubbish. As far as he is concerned, not passing this exam would amount to "failure", no matter how she dresses it up!

On a mission to have Betty return to the Rovers, Bet tells her how empty the pub has been since they stopped serving food. Betty replies with sarcasm that it should be busier than ever - Raquel being there and all. She can't fathom why, when Raquel's employment was only intended as temporary, she was retained while Betty was turfed. Bet offers that Alec only associated Betty with food, which elicits a skeptical "Hmmph!" from Betty. She points out that she's been at the pub 22 years and she was rewarded for her dedication with five minutes' notice before being shown the street! Bet lies that Alec feels very badly about her sacking and that he's anxious to make amends. Betty is hurt at being treated so shabbily and says she'll have to think about it carefully.

News of Kevin's transgression has reached Mike and he now arrives at the garage to confront his mechanic. They argue bitterly, Kevin taking the position that he was only "following orders" and Mike accusing him of almost ruining the business. He's straightened it out with the customer, telling him it was a "mistake" which *won't* happen again. Kevin affirms this, it won't happen again because he won't be fiddling any more bills! Mike tells him forcefully, he can either do things *his* way, or start looking for another job!

After her day in the Kabin, Mavis is home discussing their prospects with Derek. He thinks they should find out whether Rita intends to sell up in case he gets a job offer. Mavis still doesn't feel comfortable asking and wonders whether taking over the Kabin is really what they want. Derek counters that after offering to buy it when Rita *wasn't* selling, they'd look pretty foolish if they didn't buy it now that she *is*!

Now home from the garage, Kevin tells Sally that he's laid it on the line to Baldwin - he won't be doctoring the accounts from now on. Sally commends him for standing up to Mike, but as Kevin laments, he may not have a job much longer. Still, he says, he's angered when he hears that "everybody" is on the fiddle, "so what does it matter?" Looking at their baby daughter, he reminds himself that it *does* matter!

Martin has worked himself into quite a state about his exam over the course of the day and now tells Gail that he hopes he failed. He enjoys portering and has free time to spend as he wishes, so why would he want to trade all that in to become a nurse, he reasons. Besides, just look at those student nurses with their pasty faces and bags under their eyes. "Half of them end up in psychiatric wards", he confides knowingly. "Only half?" Gail questions in mock surprise. Her response seems to go right by him as Martin heartily reiterates that he hopes he failed the exam. Gail doesn't believe a word of it and answers with irony that if that's the case, she hopes he failed too. In fact, she hopes he got the worst mark of the whole class! Martin grabs onto the idea and readily agrees, failing with the lowest mark would make him very happy indeed. Gail replies earnestly, "You may be a terrific porter, and you may one day be a terrific nurse - but you're a lousy liar!"

In the pub, Rita and Ted are surrounded by their friends, Bet, Emily, Mavis and Derek, all congratulating them on their new life together. Mavis asks Rita if she'll be a summer bride and Rita jokes that she thinks "autumn" more appropriate. Ted doesn't believe in long engagements, "too hard on the groom", he asserts with a laugh. As Bet removes herself to the bar, Derek reminds Rita that she'll not need to be up with the birds anymore... No more Sarsaparilla Drops... No more cards and papers... She realises what Derek is getting at and despite protests of denial from both Wiltons, Rita says that she hasn't yet thought what she'll do about the business, but when she decides, they will be the first to know.

Behind the bar, Bet is opening a bottle of Champagne and arranging some glasses on a tray for the celebrations. Jack takes over when Bet stops to talk to Alec about Betty. Reg comes in and noticing the Champagne, asks Jack what it's "in aid of". When told that Rita is getting married, he remarks that he wishes her every happiness, "of course", but he has to question her judgment, marrying "that boiled sweets salesman"! "Course you do", answers Jack, "she threw you over!" Reg starts to get huffy but Jack stops him with, "Oy oy oy! Take it up with her boyfriend - he's right over there!", which seems to quell Reg's protests. Bet tells Alec that she has been to see Betty and that she reckons she would like to come back but her pride is hurt because of the way he treated her. She admonishes him to go and see her tomorrow, the earlier the better.

At the other end of the bar, Des talks to Raquel about treating Phyllis better. Raquel counters that Phyllis needs to treat *her* better, to which Des responds that they should both be nicer to each other. Raquel changes the subject to ask if they might have a dinner party now that they are a couple. She would like to invite Curly and Angie around some evening. Des thinks it's a fine idea but he doubts they'll come. Last time he had any dealings with Angie, she threw a pint of bitter over his head, and the last time Raquel had any dealings with Curly, it was to leave him for Des!

Bet carries the Champagne and glasses to Ted and Rita's table and urges everyone to join in a toast: "We're all delighted about your engagement and we wish you all the best for the future - to Rita and Ted!" "To Rita and Ted!", comes the chorus from her friends.

Anita Belanger

Mr. Steele: BERNARD LATHAM
Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by DAVID RICHARDS


Originally transmitted: 25, 27, 30 March; 1, 3 April 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 30 August - Friday 3 September 1999
Episode Numbers: 3362 - 3366

Monday (3362, Wednesday 25 March 1992)

Employment matters of various sorts and a once in a life time event!

Derek anxiously snatches the early post from the mailman. Sure enough there's a letter from the company that interviewed him and it contains a job offer! Area coordinator for the Northern Region and it has a car allowance and pays £16,000! Yes!!! Now they have to decide about buying the Kabin. Derek is still interested but now they have an alternative. It's time to prod Rita into making a decision so he will know whether to accept or decline the job offer.

Kevin arrives at the garage a bit late to find Mike waiting for him. Mike is at his most irritatingly arrogant, making fun of Kevin's Principles and wanting his car fixed before noon. Kevin's morale is quite apparently in the toilet. Mike lights a cigar and walks off, having arranged to pick his car up later and passes Mavis on her way into the Kabin.

Mavis is positively brimming over with cheer and Rita is delighted to hear of Derek's job offer. But what about the Kabin? Mavis informs Rita that she's still interested and they would really like to find out about Rita's plans. Not to be pushy but... Rita agrees she has to decide so they make plans to discuss the matter in the Rovers tonight.

Jim brings Kevin a cup of tea for elevenses. Kevin is more mentally exhausted from the stress than from the job. You can see he wants to pour his heart out but he can't because 1, you don't like to admit you've been illegally fixing the bills and 2, he's a man. Men just don't go about pouring their hearts out to their mates, over cups of tea and sitting while sitting on a car fender. It's not on is it? ;) Kevin asks Jim if he's ever fiddled a customer (that's a bit personal isn't it?) Jim admits he's been tempted but only admits to persuading a few people to buy a few parts more than was strictly necessary. Jim knows darn well what's bothering Kevin but doesn't push the issue because 1, he doesn't want to embarrass the younger man and 2, he's a man, too. (Men don't feel the need to analyze and discuss every nuance of their quandaries like we women do. However do they cope, I wonder???) Kevin sends Jim off with a request to pass on any information on jobs he might hear of.

Phyllis and Rackle have another run-in when the lovely but vacant Rackle insists Phyllis delay the running of the Hoover until after she's had her breakfast. They get into it over a complaint about Rackle that Phyllis brought to Des and Rackle, with a mouthful of unmelted butter, reminds Phyllis that she is her employer now, too and to bring any complaints to her face from now on. (What a bitch!)

Alf comes over to congratulate Rita and they swap a few "What if's". Alf wonders if Rita knows what she's doing because it's quite a lot to give up. Rita assures her old friend that she's had a good think about the situation and is quite sure this is what she wants to do. She is grateful for his concern though. Angie has overheard and Rita assures her that when she knows what she's doing with the house, Angie and Curly will be the first to know. Angie leaves and Rackle runs out of the house and invites Angie and Curly to dinner tomorrow night. Still distracted about the possible housing situation, Angie murmurs that she'll ask Curly and get back to her.

Bet sharply pushes Alec out the door with her tongue to go and apologize to Betty and get her to come back to the Rovers. She warns him not to come back without their beloved cook and Alec hopes that his powers of persuasion are still with him though why he should jump through hoops for some ex-barmaid... On his way out he snarls at Jack to return the dishes from the cellar back to the kitchen and reminds Rackle to look to her laurels. Apologizing doesn't come easy to RAlec! LOL!

He does his very best to sweet talk Betty, even promising her a modern new kitchen. It's a red letter day as Alec admits he's made a wrong decision, mainly out of stress and panic. Alec says "I'm sorry" and "Please" in the same conversation!!! Betty is still bristling with hurt indignation and reminds Alec he's said plenty of hard things to her in the past, assuming her Cyril's pension allowed her to live the easy life but that's not so at all. Alec crawls a bit more and asks her again to come back. We're left hanging for the moment as...

Mike finds the garage and his car both locked. Jim comes sauntering around the corner dangling Mike's keys. Kevin had to test drive a car so asked Jim to look out for Mike. Jim decides to put a few pennies' worth in on Kevin's behalf and has Mike worried that Kevin de-bagged a cat or two. Oh don't worry, Jim assures Mike, he wanted to, but he's too loyal. It's clear that Jim knows what's going on and he points out a few things to Mike. Good honest managers are hard to find, men you can trust not to rip you or your customers off. Mike admits Kevin's a good mechanic but is made to look foolish when Jim insists Kevin's more than that, he's honest and honest men are hard to come by. (the words "and I'm not looking at one now" float loudly unspoken in the air!) He'd do well to remember that. Mike has a few things to think about.

Martin gets a call while he's delivering lunch trays. The test results are in. And? Well Martin arrives home later wearing a cardboard nurse's cap and toting a bottle of fizzy soda to celebrate with! YAY!!!!! He passed with flying colours and due to a cancellation, is slated to start his course a month from Monday! Yay!!!! But though she's pleased for him, a shadow passes over Gail's face.

Yes, Betty's back making hotpot at the Rovers. Bet apologizes for the upset and says she'll have Alec on a skewer if he ever tries it again. Alec wants in on the joke but all Bet does is warn him to mind his p's and q's when someone asks to put kebabs on the menu!

Derek discusses all his opportunities in terms of finding not one but two means of escape from a deserted island, as only Derek can. Mavis just sighs and dreams of owning the Kabin and rearranging it to her own taste. They'd have to sell their little house but would live in the flat and they both sigh with happiness (soon to be dashed as circumstances will prove to move against them as usual).

The pub tonight moves from one little group to another. Alma is helping Gail and Martin celebrate but Alma realizes Gail's not as happy for Martin as she lets on. Gail later admits that she's insecure about the possibility of Martin finding a young nursing student to replace her. Alf and Emily chat about Martin's prospects and their conversation moves to Rita's future. Alf is still worrying that the romance has come out of the blue and wonders what's the rush? Emily (not knowing the reason we have all come to know) thinks Rita is just trying to take what might be her last opportunity for love before it's too late. Curly and Angie accept Des and Rackle's dinner invitation though Angie's not all that excited at the prospect.

Mike arrives at the Webster household to find Kevin checking the jobs on offer section of the Gazette. He makes them both happy by telling them that he's decided to let Kevin run the business the way he wants to. By the book. No more fiddling. As long as he can keep the profits up. Kevin is pleased but wonders why the change of heart. Mike (quoting Jim) tells Kevin that he's realized that Kevin is an honest man and that's more important.

Back to the pub, Rita has explained her plans to Mave and Derek. She's going to have the shop, flat and business evaluated and seeing as it's them, will knock £5000 off the price. Mavis and Derek are overjoyed and agree. A toast is drunk to all their futures as the credits roll.

Diane Johnston

Ward Sister CAROL NOAKES
Written by KEN BLAKESON Directed by DAVID RICHARDS

Tuesday (3363, Friday 27 March 1992)

The morning starts with a gloomy Derek. He's been up since 4 a.m. because, in spite of our last seeing him happily toasting his future as the new corner shop owner, he is still riddled with doubt about giving up the position he's been offered with Hewitt's. Mavis is nearly at her witís end and firmly tells Derek that he will call Hewitt's tomorrow and tell them he is not taking the job!

Later in the shop Mavis nervously queries Rita as to whether Rita is certain she won't change her mind, only Derek is going to turn down the other offer today! Rita assures Mavis she will not miss 5 a.m. winter mornings doing papers. Ted comes to the shop and whisks Rita off to town to "get her tropical kit", but not before assuring Mavis privately that he will always take good care of Rita. Before they can leave on their shopping spree, Derek comes rushing in breathlessly - he's called Mr. Hewitt and he is now offering Derek an extra £2,000 a year to sweeten the pot! Derek admits to a stunned Mavis that he told Mr. Hewitt he'd have to reconsider.

Later at home, Derek and Mavis talk over this excess of good fortune. Derek asks Mavis what she would want to do with regard to buying the Kabin if he wasn't in the picture. She says she can't consider that - he is too much part of her picture now! We leave them with Derek saying disbelievingly that he can't believe they're saying no to an offer like Mr. Hewitt is making.

The Ted/Rita/Mavis/Derek storyline wraps up for today at the pub where Rita and Ted share a quiet drink. They discuss Florida and Rita comments that Alec has been to the Caribbean - "That's near Florida, isn't it?". Ted says it is and suggests they spend their honeymoon in the Caribbean. An overwhelmed Rita wonders where Ted keeps these millions he is apparently happy to spend. Ted says that his philosophy is "you can't take it with you!" Rita admits she feels swept off her feet, to which Ted replies that he has always wanted to sweep a lady off her feet, and now he is realizing all his ambitions! Just then, at the bar, Reg snidely says to Alf that he can't imagine what Rita sees in Ted, and Alf sniffs that neither does he. I suggest both of them read my second-last sentence, but they can't hear me.

The major development today is the sad ballad of the Rovers kitchen. While preparing for opening Jack asks Alec if Betty is back on staff and Alec admits she is. In response to more prying by Jack Alec says that Jack thinks he could run the Rovers better than Alec, doesn't he? Jacko's not willing to admit that - "I'll plead that amendment - you know, the one the Mafia likes to use," he replies. Nobody knows how difficult it is, Alec muses, running a pub. He had to grovel to get Betty Turpin back, the oldest barmaid in Weatherfield - and then thereís Jack, the worst cellarman in the business! These are the crosses he has to bear, he goes on. His wife and Betty are "in the same Lodge," and then of course there's "the magic hotpot". Jack, who has been listening nervously to this soliloquy, says, "I thought it were just an ordinary 'otpot," to which Alec warns, "That's like the little boy who said the Emperor had no clothes, and you know what happened to him, don't you?" "What?" asks Jack with trepidation. "Got shot!" says Alec, exiting a masterful little scene.

Later in the day Alec is stopped in his tracks when, just as he serves the first hotpot from the reopened kitchen, Mr. Steel, Environmental Health Officer, strolls in. "I see you're selling food!" he says cheerily. "I'd like to inspect your kitchen, then!" Alec makes multiple excuses but Mr. Steele is not giving him an option. They go through to the kitchen (first time I've ever seen it!). Mr. Steele quickly finds multiple problems. The ventilator won't work; the linoleum and tiles are cracked; the ceiling should have washable paint; the clothes washing machine in the kitchen might be fine at home, but not for serving food to the public! And the coat hung up behind the door is a no-no, too! Betty, who has just come in, protests angrily that it's her coat and plenty clean, whereupon Mr. Steele horrifies her by saying people could've spat or sneezed on her on the bus! Alec tries to say it's just "a few hotpots" theyíre serving, but the inspector says it's not up to him, it's up to the 600 plus MPs who voted in the food safety Act, and the kitchen won't do!

Liz stops by the Bike Shop, where Jim and Kev have been discussing Mike's change of heart toward Kev. She brings the news that the health inspector has been to the Rovers! Jim swears this had nothing to do with his prank (taking a hotpot away from the Rovers and claiming he was going to have it "inspected" by Public Health). He says that was just a joke and he didn't contact anyone. "Well, it's not me ye have to convince," she says - "it's Alec."

Later Bet gets the bad news from Alec and Betty. "I've got to 'ave a nailbrush with me name on it!" declares Betty with a combination of wonder, pride and pleasure. They have a deadline and must totally revamp the kitchen. That night, as Alec complains about the situation to everyone in sight, Percy strolls up to the bar and jumps right into the conversation, placing the blame on Brussels and bureaucracy. He says the Public Health Department is in a mess, they don't even keep proper records, why when he went down to complain about them stopping the Rovers serving food they didn't know what he was talking about. He went down there today? asks Alec. No, says Percy, when he went down on Monday. Suddenly the penny drops for Alec. "You went down to that Town Hall and talked about this pub? And Hotpot? On Monday?" A furious Alec throws an indignant Percy out (This is what I get for tryin' to help?) and declared him barred. The scene is observed by an amused Jim, who takes Percy under his arm and says he is just in time to join Jim for a drink - at the Legion!

This episode also featured Raquel and Des' "dinner party" with guests Angie and Curly. Raquel fusses about how she can't cook and wants to get a takeaway, to which Des says "you can't invite people 'round for a meal and serve take-away!" However, in the end he tells her to serve whatever she likes. That night the table is really decorated quite nicely but as Curly and Angie arrive it's clear that things are a bit awkward. (Well, they are the dinner guests of their previous love interests, who now make up a couple!) The atmosphere is tense, particularly when Curly makes some reference to Raquel's good looks and Angie gives him a dirty look. Angie tries to make conversation, asking if they're celebrating anything. Nothing in particular, say the happy couple. Oh. What are we having? "Chicken a la King," says Raquel proudly. Everyone oohs and aahs, and Angie says "I'm impressed!" "Oh, I'm a girl of many talents, me." says Raquel. "It's nearly done." Another awkward silence falls. "Only I wondered 'cause I can't smell anything," Angie says nervously to fill the silence. "Yeah, that's another advantage of boil-in-bag, isn't it. I'll just slip it out onto plates." (I nearly fell off the sofa while watching this scene, I swear, this line was so utterly unexpected.) Des is visibly embarrassed, and perhaps to cover that, pulls Raquel next to him and says they *are* celebrating something, actually - the fact that they can all remain friends. That's important, that they're all friends. Angie and Curly don't disagree but their lack of enthusiasm is obvious.

Later, walking home, Curly says that if Des and Raquel are all wrong for each other they don't seem to know it. Angie still thinks it won't last, and says that their "we this" and "we that" made her sick! Then, to put the perfect cap on a perfect evening, they discover they have locked themselves out of the house. I've had evenings like that :)

The Continuity Department contributed one other important element to today's episode by ensuring that Gloomy Gail's record of discouraging Martin's nursing career is unbroken. Gail appears in a scene with Sally; this time she is insecure because nursing is a "career" and Martin will meet new people, develop new interests. Sally says that he will still be "the same old Martin" to which Gail replies, "The same old Martin - who likes black stockings!" (What this has to do with the price of tea in China, or Martin's nursing career, I can't fathom, unless it's de rigeur for nurses to wear black stockings in Britain. Here they wear white stockings or hose. Regardless, there's nothing about Martin's being a hospital orderly that stops him from meeting women in black stockings, nor is there anything in his becoming a nurse which will force Gail to stop wearing them for her boy-toy. In fact, they would be able to better afford them if he was a nurse. No, the truth is she is simply afraid he might meet women who can converse about more than Alma's sex life, the troubles with their kids, or their never-ending problems with their dead husband's mother, and/or women who change their hairstyle once every ten years. THAT she might have a legitimate concern about!) Gail goes on to say that she knows Martin's "not like that" and she's being daft, but she can't help worrying, and I can't help feeling I'm close to the patented Updater's Loss of The Will to Live over her constant whinging and aspirations to be a millstone around her young husband's neck.

ronniecat

Ted Sullivan: WILLIAM RUSSELL Mr. Steele: BERHARD LATHAM
Written by JULIAN ROCHE Directed by DAVID RICHARDS

Wednesday (3364, Monday 30 March 1992)

It's early morning on the street, and at the Wilton's, Derek collects the mail while Mavis suggests they meet for lunch at the Rover's Return. Derek is still concerned about turning down such a golden opportunity with Hewitts, but agrees with Mavis that he will let them know of his decision later that day.

Ted surprises Rita by showing up very early at the Kabin. He realizes that with his marriage proposal, and their sudden plans to move to Florida, Rita must have a great deal of work to do before she can sell -- and he's there to help in any way he can. Rita admits that she's got a lot on her plate, and suggests they get started by having a nice cup of tea.

Angie, meanwhile, is concerned about Rita's plans to sell No7 Coronation Street, given that she's broke and can't afford to buy the place, or to move to new digs. Curly tells her not to worry; he'll buy No7 from Rita, if the price is right.

Alec is worried about money too, but in his case, it's the cost of renovating the kitchen that has him concerned. Bet tells him there's no point in grumbling over the expense, since the work has to be done if they want to stay in business, and Alec blames Percy and his big mouth for their sudden need to refit. The telephone rings, and Alec is even more displeased to learn that the kitchen fitter he's hired won't be able to do an estimate until after lunch.

At Bettabuys, Curly tells Reg that he'll need to take an early lunch so that he can be at home to meet the real estate evaluator. Once again (for the umpteenth time), Reg expresses his disbelief that Rita is about to run off with a "boiled sweets salesman." Curly also asks Reg if there's any chance that he can get some financial assistance from Bettabuys under their relocation scheme, but Reg points out that since Curly isn't actually moving anywhere, he's not eligible.

Martin is at the Cafe, happy as a clam over his recent acceptance into nursing school. Percy arrives and puts in his usual detailed order (toast not burned, not too much butter, etc.). Martin teases Percy about not eating his lunch at his usual haunt -- the Rover's Return -- and Percy's shirty response is that the problems the pub is experiencing have nothing to do with him.

Curly and Angie chat while waiting for the estate agent to finish his evaluation. When the agent comes down the stairs, I was surprised to see that the evaluator was none other than Jon, the Tie Boy/Fly Boy who got Deirdre into so much trouble (and eventually into prison) many years later! Anyway, Curly does his best to get an evaluated price for No7, but the agent insists that that information should be given to Mrs. Fairclough first. Curly also tries to persuade the agent that the unit is in need of repairs, that there's a "damp patch" under the sink, etc., but the agent informs him that the place is a little palace compared to some of the dumps he's been through. Eventually, Curly is able to extract from him an evaluated price of £30,000.

Over at the Rover's Return, Mike asks Bet about the cost of having the kitchen redone, and Bet tells him that they've never had a single complaint about their food in all the years they've been serving, but suddenly Environmental Health finds a number of faults, and the whole place has to be refitted. In another conversation, Jack asks Raquel how the dinner party went, and she glumly responds that it was as interesting as watching jelly set. Jack wangles for an invitation for himself and Vera, but Raquel, who has clearly had enough dinner parties to last her a lifetime, is less than gracious in her response. At a nearby table, Derek and Mavis discuss their financial picture, and Derek is optimistic that a bank loan for £45,000 should be enough to buy Rita's flat and business.

Down the street, Rita is deep in thought, and when Ted asks what she's thinking about, she tells him that it's a bit sad that a total stranger can put a price tag on her life's work. Ted tells her she has much to be proud of, given how successful she's been, and he is so excited by their future prospects that he suggests they go to Florida for a few weeks to look for their new home.

Back at the Rover's Return, Curly buys drinks for Angie and Kevin. When asked what he's celebrating, Curly reveals that he's going to buy No7.

Mavis and Derek return to the Kabin after their lunch. Rita asks if they're still serious about buying the business, and the response is an overwhelming "yes." Rita asks if they'd like a little "dry run" to see how it suits them, and then she and Ted tell the Wiltons of their plans to go to Florida for a few weeks.

Alec and the kitchen fitter discuss the required renovations. The fitter is unwilling to give a figure off the top of his head, since his estimates must be accurate, but Alec is adamant that he needs at least an idea of what's in store. After a discussion of their antiquated fixtures, plumbing, wiring, etc., the fitter gives an estimate of £8,500. Alec goes into shock, and repeats the figure several times in a state of disbelief.

Percy wanders into the bike shop for a natter with Jim, who wonders why Percy wasn't at the Legion at lunchtime. Percy is his usual curmudgeonly self, and says he has no intention of apologizing to Alec for the Environmental Health inspection.

Alec has the yellow pages out, and is looking for another kitchen fitter, while Bet points out that he isn't likely to get a much cheaper estimate. The telephone rings, and after a brief conversation, Alec happily reports that their problems are over. The caller was Mr. Wilding, the solicitor for Vicky's estate. The will has been settled, and Alec can now be reimbursed for any expenses he's incurred for Vicky's care and schooling.

Back at the Kabin, Rita more or less tells Reg Holdsworth that selling No7 to Curly is none of his concern. Reg again asks Rita if she's sure she knows what she's doing, but any plans he may have had to dissuade Rita are cut short by Mavis' announcement that Rita and Ted are planning a vacation in Florida.

For a little comic relief, Phyllis rushes into the Corner Shop, and is delighted to find that Percy is there. She tells him she's been looking for him all day, much to Percy's disgust, and in a show of support, she assures him that she hasn't been back to the Rover's Return since he was barred from the place. Percy couldn't care less what Phyllis does, and when she suggests a night out, he tells her that he's planning a quiet evening at home.

Ted arrives at Rita's for dinner and opens a bottle of wine while they discuss their future. Ted is glowing with happiness as he informs her that he's gone ahead and booked their flight to Florida for Friday. Rita asks what she owes him for her ticket, and when he is hesitant, she tells him that after they wed, it will be different -- but for now, she feels that she should pay her fair share. He reluctantly agrees, and they toast their future.

The final scenes take place at the Rover's Return, where Derek and Mavis talk to Jack and Raquel about their plans to buy the Kabin and move into Rita's flat. Derek has already talked to their bank manager, and he feels there will be no problem getting the funds they need to buy the business. Elsewhere in the pub, Reg is (again) blethering on to Curly about Rita's rather sudden plans to pack everything in and go off to Florida with Ted. Curly suggests that Reg accept the fact that Rita plans to marry Ted, but Reg insists that he's going to do everything he can to stop her. To begin with, he suggests that Curly offer £20,000 for No7. It's unlikely that Rita will accept such a low offer, but in the meanwhile, it might help to set her plans back a bit. We'll see...

Heather Morlan

Kitchen Fitter: IAN BLOWER Estate Agent: OWEN AARONVITCH
Written by BARRY HILL Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Thursday (3365, Wednesday 1 April 1992)

It's April 1 and the cobbles are littered with fools, not suffered gladly by some.

Derek and Mavis are on pins and needles. Derek is seeing the bank manager this afternoon and bravely assures Mavis that they will succeed! He will not be pushed around anymore, and if this bank refuses them the loan then he will go to another and another. Mavis gushes over her masterful and strong man but when she turns away, Derek's face reflects a doubt or two.

Curly is anticipating home ownership. He's gleefully looking forward to rubbing his parents' noses in it as htey always believed he wouldn't amount to anything. Angie rolls her eyes and mutters something about Oedipus and is moreconcerned with keeping a roof over her head.

Alec spent the morning gathering receipts to post to Vicky's lawyer in anticipation of reimbursement so he can pay for the kitchen renovations. He has another builder in today for a second estimate (very prudent!) and after the usual warnings about getting what you pay for and suggestions for expensive tiling and vinyl flooring, Alec accepts this bid of £7,000, knocked down a few hundred for a cash payment. Now if only the estate lawyers will get his money back to him in a timely fashion.

Reg is also anticipating. He's seeing a liqueur chocolate salesman earlier and acts surprised when Curly points out that the man used to work for the same confectionary company that Ted Sullivan worked for. What a coinky dink!!!! (I don't think!) And, indeed, after sampling a few Tia Maria twists the subject of Ted and his late wife just happens to arise. Reg discovers that Ted's wife drowned at sea during a fishing trip with Ted. Reg's face blinks and twitches and eye-pops. He practically gnashes his teeth and would be twirling a moustache if he had one. (Wouldn't you love to play poker against this man? LOL!)

Curly gets a severe dressing down from Rita once she establishes that his offer of £20,000 for No7 isn't an April Fool's joke. She's highly insulted and in a red-headed raging temper at his insolence for suggesting he could make things difficult for her to sell to anyone else as he is a sitting tenant. She sends him out the shop door with a flea in his ear and reckons he is becoming more and more influenced by his boss.

His boss is seen driving up to a lovely brick house which is obviously in the flight path to Manchester airport. Who lives here? Ted? No, it's a woman. What's all this then? (My guess is he's snooping and this is a neighbour of the Sullivan house)

Percy commends Mavis and Derek for venturing into something new at their time of life and insists Alec did him a favour barring him from the Rovers, allowing him to make new friends at the Legion. Oh, yes! The Legion is very comfortable. Mavis decides it's a good open if Percy approves of their plans but Rita also believes that Percy was lying. He'd much rather be back at the Rovers where all is familiar to the aging soldier. When we next see Percy, at a table in the Legion with his half, he is chatting across the room to Jim and Liz. An older man with more facial hair than Grizzly Adams approaches Percy and accosts "Grandad" for sitting in "his" chair! Percy's hackles are immediately evident and the two war vets get into what amounts to a pissing contest over who has more war medals until Phyllis arrives. She knows the man, Josh, and asks after his health as he had recently been ill. Her attempts to flirt with Percy have the usual effect and Josh gets "his" chair after all.

Angie is furious that Curly was so foolish as to offer a ridiculously low price on Rita's house. She's upset because their tenancy agreement ends in two months, just in time for her finals.

Mavis is all ruffled as well as Rita must have sounded off about Curly. Emily's in the Kabin and Mavis is having a go at her for defending her Norman. Emily feels Mavis, as usual, has probably got the wrong end of the stick and Curly wasn't blackmailing Rita as Mavis has accused. A few minutes later, Derek arrives, positively Tigger-like. He has to interrupt Mavis's ranting but they are both squealing with delight when Derek tells her that the bank will approve the loan providing the business is sound, which it is. He lifts her up and twirls her around just as Rita returns from the flat after nursing a headache. She's still in a bad mood and accuses everyone of circling the corpse before it's dead like buzzards!

Reg has apparently found out some information about Ted and he makes a serious visit to Rita while she's in the middle of ironing for her upcoming trip. He makes another attempt at swaying her off the marital path by making astonishing insinuations about Ted and the insurance policy he had on his moneyed late wife. Rita must have stocked up on fleas because Reg is sent away with on her his ear as well. How dare he!!! Ted has courted her fairly and honestly which is more than Reg did, hiding his wife from view. She basically tells Reg to sod off in no uncertain terms and ... OI! Don't expect a postcarcd!!!!

Diane Johnston

Mr. Lomax RAY BURNSIDE Henry Barnes ANTHONY SCHAFFER Josh Carter ARTHUR SPRECKLY
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Friday (3366, Friday 3 April 1992)

Mavis sleepily makes her way downstairs at first light to find an irritatingly chirpy Derek already up and raring to go. He can't wait to face the new challenge of running the Kabin, something he can *really* apply his "energy and expertise" to! As he prattles on about his plans to change the Kabin's image, (by injecting "the one asset" he has "in abundance", i.e., humour) Mavis yawns sleepily. In a demonstration of his aforementioned asset, Derek tells her he'll fix her some tea; having fed and watered Harry the budgie, he wouldn't want Mavis to think she's second in the "pecking order"! The joke goes over right over Mavis' head but Derek kindly spells it out for her: "Pecking, get it? Peck, peck, peck?" and laughs at his own cleverness. (Honestly, doesn't Mavis deserve a medal for not thumping him sometimes?)

At No7, Curly is getting flak from Angie for his foolish offer of £20,000 for the house. She knows he isn't mercenary so what the heck prompted him to make such an insulting offer? He defends his offer as a business maneuver and says he thought Rita would have recognised it as such. Angie guesses that Reg told Curly to make the low offer and sits him down to "educate" him.

Jack's morning off but Alec has plans for him. He bangs on his door and when Jack opens the window upstairs to see who it is, Alec prevails upon him to come in early and start clearing the kitchen out. Will there be overtime, Jack wonders? "Jack, do you want monetary reward - or the continued friendship of a grateful employer? Choose carefully!" he cautions. As he walks away with satisfaction, Percy pitches a bucket of soapy water out the front door which manages to land right on Alec's shoes. The landlord stops in his tracks and gives Percy a deadly look. Poor Percy sputters helplessly that he didn't see him!

At the cafe, Phyllis is in to help out for the day while Alma keeps some appointments. As she sings Percy's praises, Gail listens impatiently and tries to get her to focus on serving hungry customers. Alma comes down and stops for inspection by Gail. A little dressy for the dentist, Gail thinks, but as Alma reminds her, she has an appointment to see her accountant too. As Alma goes off, Gail is again besieged by Phyllis, still raving about Percyís finer qualities.

In the offices of Bettabuys, the muck hits the fan as Curly angrily confronts Reg about setting him up with Rita. Reg professes his innocence - he was only trying to "guide" the boy. Curly says he didn't guide him - "more like aimed" him at Rita! Despite Reg's denials, Curly claims he was trying to drag out the house sale in order to keep Rita in Weatherfield. Well, no more, he promises - he intends to make Rita a proper offer now! Reg follows him from the office, urging Curly to reconsider. "Don't be hasty!" he pleads, but Curly takes no heed.

In the pub, Emily and Alf discuss Percy's plight from different points of view. Emily credits Percy for not expecting her to join him in his "boycott" of the Rovers, while Alf believes it's more accurate to say "banishment". She tells him that Percy has to make do with the Legion these days, to which Alf replies, "Oh well, their loss is our gain!" Emily thinks he's got it the wrong way around but he assures her he hasn't. She says she hopes that with "mutual good will", Alec and Percy can work out their differences but Alf can only chuckle at the notion. "Good will? Aren't you forgetting? We're talking about Percy and Alec here!"

Derek, having been told by Jack there's no food service today, remarks to Bet that he's disappointed in Alec. She has to ask what he's referring to and he tells her he means that Alec should have "executed a contingency plan" for serving food today. "He's too busy executing Jacko", replies Bet flatly.

In the back, Jack pleads with Alec for a break from all the heavy lifting he's been doing. Alec, his usual sympathetic self, cares not a whit for Jack's aching back, he just wants him to be careful not to damage the lino!

When Alec enters the bar, Bet announces she's off across the road to visit with Rita. As she leaves, Emily approaches Alec to plead Percy's case. She explains that the bucket incident was accidental and that Percy isn't a vindictive man. Alec retorts that *he* is a vindictive man and he won't accept that Percy's "accident" was anything but intentional! With a sigh, Emily gives up trying to reason with Alec. Phyllis joins her at the bar and offers that she was asked by Gail to work in the cafe this afternoon but refused. Emily nods politely and Phyllis continues, "Oh yes, she begged and pleaded, but I just said 'no'!"

Alma is back now from her appointments with a big smile on her face. She quite liked the dentist. French he was, with "a lovely soothing accent", even if all he talked about was teeth, it was still "very nice". Noticing Phyllis isn't around, Alma asks Gail about her and is told that she was getting on Gail's nerves with her non-stop talk about Percy so she let her go. Alma smiles sympathetically then starts to open her mail. Her smile quickly vanishes as she reads one letter - notification that she's been named "corespondent" in Jackie Ingram's divorce!

At Rita's, Bet pays her pal a last minute friendly visit before she goes off to Florida. Rita tells her about Curly's interest in No. 7 and how she sent him away with a flea in his ear. She also confides that Angieís been to see her to apologise and though she let her off the hook, she cautioned her not to say anything to Curly yet, just let him sweat awhile.

Back in the cafe, Gail tells Alma not to worry about being named in the divorce petition - she should just tell the truth, that she wasn't adulterous with Mike. Alma doesn't think a denial will be effective. Even if the court believes her, the damage will have been done to her reputation. In the midst of their conversation, Percy steps up to the counter with an order for a toasted tea cake and complaints about Phyllis serving this morning. "Who wants to see her face over their egg and chips?" he demands. "Yes, all right Percy - now please go and sit down!" orders Gail. Turning back to Alma, she suggests that the only way to fight this is by getting *somebody else* to back up her story, support her denial of the charge - Mike Baldwin.

In the Corner Shop, Audreh is showing Deirdre the new blouse she just bought on sale, a sheer black number with big silvery polka dots. She wonders if it would fit Deirdre as it's a bit too large in the shoulders for her. Deirdre says it's lovely but she thinks it wouldn't fit her either. Alf wonders what possessed her to buy a blouse that didn't fit but as Audreh explains, "It were a bargain of course!" He shakes his head in bewilderment as Liz enters the shop. Audreh asks her if *she* would like to have the blouse but Liz says she has one similar and she also thinks the shoulders would be too big anyway. Alf sets himself up by asking if Audreh would buy a pair of shoes if they didn't fit. Her reply - "Of course not! Honestly, Alfeh - you do ask some silly questions at times!" - leaves him none the wiser about her logic. She suddenly thinks Alma might be the perfect candidate for the blouse and goes to the phone to ring her. Reaching Gail at the cafe, Audreh hears that Alma is out on "business". As she hangs up the phone, she remarks to Deirdre that Alma certainly leads a carefree life - she reckons her "business" is probably shopping!

Alma is at this minute paying Kevin a visit at the garage. She asks if Mike is around but Kevin tells her he hasn't seen the boss for days. Alma says it's very important that she talk with him, she's even been around to his flat to see him. Kevin assures her he'll let Mike know she is looking for him as soon as he sees him. Alma thanks him but asks that he be discreet - she would rather no one else knew she was looking for Mike!

As Rita makes last minute preparations before Ted arrives to pick her up for the airport, Derek hovers beside her, chattering away about the Kabin. She's more concerned with the flat being secure and reminds Derek that Mavis is quite capable of running the shop as she has often done in the past. When Ted rings up to say the taxi's waiting, Derek tells him that Rita is nearly ready - as are he and Mavis! Ted shows no interest whatever in Derek but offers to take Rita's bag down for her. She tells him she'll be right there and runs to fetch her carry on. The phone rings and she stops to answer it. The minute she hears Reg's voice, she gently lays the receiver down on the table and goes about the business of getting ready. Meanwhile, Reg rambles to himself... He begs her to reconsider going, "a stay of execution" is how he puts it, then he talks about the esteem he has for her, using the terminology of a man in love. Rita, of course, hears none of this but returns to the phone just long enough to listen to see if he's still on, then quietly hangs up, leaving Reg talking to himself again.

Downstairs, Mavis and Derek see the happy couple off in their taxi and wish them Bon Voyage, Mavis adding, "Give my love to Mickey Mouse!" Once away, Ted jokes that he was beginning to think Derek was coming with them!

In the Rovers, Curly complains to Raquel that he is "one of life's great manipulated". She doesn't understand what he's on about so he tries to explain but gets a daft response (which I didn't quite catch) for his troubles. Alec appears, looking for Jack. Bet informs him that he's gone home - she saw him crawling through the ginnel on all fours! Alec sniffs with annoyance and sarcastically says they'll have to have a memorial plaque for Jack's back behind the new kitchen drainboard. Angie refuses Curly's offer of a drink, saying they'll have to get used to being independent since they'll soon be going their separate ways. Has she been to see Rita, he asks. "Oh yes", replies Angie, "and she was breathing fire and spitting bullets!"

At their table, Audreh pumps Gail for information on Alma's "business". Gail tells her she doesn't want to violate Alma's confidence but Audreh insists it might save embarrassment if she told her - that way, she wouldn't go putting her foot in it inadvertently!

As Alma tidies the cafe at closing, Phyllis is sitting around trying to find out if Gail has a problem with her. Alma doesn't have the heart to tell Phyllis the truth so she lies and says that Gail was just feeling pressured. Phyllis is relieved to hear she isn't the cause and finally goes home, leaving Alma to finish closing up. With Phyllis finally gone, she runs to the phone and dials Mike's number, not for the first time today. Disappointed at reaching his answering machine again, she hangs up. Mike enters the cafe and explains that he was waiting for Phyllis to leave. Alma frantically tells him about being named in the divorce petition and he admits he already knows, he got a copy too. He says he's sorry but assures her that he had nothing to do with it. "It isn't fair!" Alma cries. "It's not true and she had no right to use my name!"

The Wiltons are doing the dishes together and talking about their first day in partnership tomorrow. Derek offers to get up early to do the papers but Mavis says it would have been her day if Rita were here, so she doesn't mind. Derek shares with her the satisfaction he felt at turning down the job at Hewitt's, particularly as he had no special fondness for George Hewitt.

Back at the cafe, Alma is still upset about being dragged into Mike and Jackie's divorce - "It's a damn lie!" she exclaims. Mike glibly tells her his conscience is clear and so should hers be. He doesn't seem to grasp what Alma is most upset about - her reputation being blackened! "Then tell her!" she pleads. "Tell her we didn't sleep together!" Mike blows off the suggestion, Jackie wouldn't listen to him! Tearing at her hair in frustration, Alma tells him to just go. Bitterly she tells him, (this is it, Bazza!) "The only sin I ever committed was knowing you and I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life!" Chastened by the outburst, Mike tells her to leave it to him - he'll get her name off that petition. With an air of bravado, h utters those famous last words, "Trust me".

Anita Belanger

Written by: TOM ELLIOT Directed by: BRIAN MILLS


Originally transmitted: 6, 8, 10, 13 & 15 April 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 6 - Friday 10 September 1999
Episode Numbers: 3367 - 3371

Monday (3367, Monday 6 April 1992)

It's Derek and Mavis' first day running the Kabin. It's barely the crack of dawn but Derek is up and shaved, ready and raring to go although Mavis is still in her robe and clutching a teapot. (intravenous gets the caffeine to the system faster, love!) Derek wants to have all the papers sorted and ready before the delivery kids arrive and he's practically bouncing off the wall in his enthusiasm to get going. (haste makes waste, Derek!) If i didn't know any better i'd say he was on something stronger than caffeine, pharmaceutically speaking! I say this because he chirps gleefully about a good day's work being more satisfying than lolling about on a beach! He decides not to wait for Mavis who is used to the routine and knows that pacing herself is much more prudent.

Over at the Rovers, the living quarters look like a bomb went off. The workmen are in the process of dragging all and sundry out of the kitchen into the living room, shifting the settee on it's end to make room. Alec is trying to salvage what he can but Mick, who seems to be the main man, thinks the old cooker is only worth heaving on the tip. Alec decides he can clean it up, chip a little grease off and resell it but when faced with doing the task himself with the cooker stuck in the middle of the room, he backs down. He turns instead to a little portable canister of propane that's got a burner stuck on the top. He pours gobs of oil into a frypan in preparation for the morning fry up. Bet surveys the scene and decides they are having breakfast at the cafe which is fine by the workers, they decide to help themselves to sausage butties cooked on the burner instead. Oh yes, and Vicky's coming home today on her spring break from school.

In the MacDonald household, Steve is hoping to make plans to go to a party with a mate whom Andy thinks is a total prat. Liz and Jim are further astonished that the party is in Liverpool but Andy reassures them that the prat couldn't organize himself out of a paper bag anyway.

Back to the Kabin, things have had less than a smooth beginning for our earnest paper-packer. Mavis has had to field several calls from subscribers who received the wrong newspapers. Derek is sure the blame lays squarely on the carriers, not on him, as he filled all the orders correctly. (oh yeah?) The young red head, Nigel, returns his sack and gets a tongue lashing from Derek but Nigel stands up to him firmly. He only delivers what has been filled by Derek and cheekily points out there were no complaints when Mrs. Fairclough was in charge. He leaves to get to school and Derek narks on about Nigel just trying it on to get under the skin of the new management. Mavis tries to be tactful about the reliability of their carriers but Derek scolds her for being too soft and Mavis' face twists with the effort of biting her tongue.

In the cafe, Bet and Alec are chowing down. Bet is pretending not to play Lady Muck by elbowing Alec when he wants to mop up his egg with his toast and spitting a bit of gristle into Alec's handkerchief. She comes across more of a snob than she's trying not to be and after all it's not as if she is no better than she ought to be! But they put on a smile for Gail and Alma and compliment the cooking. Gail and Alma are more concerned with their discussion about Jackie naming Alma on her divorce petition. It gets really tiresome really quickly with the same old same old, Alma protesting that she is innocent. Yeah... yadda yadda yadda....

Audrey and Mavis chat about the Kabin and when Derek comes from the back with cups of tea he proceeds in putting his foot in it once again. It's a wonder he can even walk with that many bite marks in his size 10's! He witters on about competition these days when you can buy a pint of milk and a newspaper at a corner garage and wonders if the Kabin shouldn't start selling milk, sandwiches and flowers. Audrey gets her back up and threatens to sell newspapers at the shop and leaves. Long suffering Mavis sighs and tells Derek they ought not to be upsetting folk or they might not have much of a business to take over. Back in the corner shop, Audrey and Deirdre gossip about Ted and Rita after Audrey has a vent about Derek. She decides she doesn't need to tell Alfie about Derek's new line of merchandise just yet. Deirdre hopes Ted and Rita don't elope because she hates to miss a good wedding!

Emily passes on good wishes to Gail for Martin's nursing course and, as ever, Chuckles makes herself look like a wet blanket moaning about how Martin and even Emily with all her do-good charity work make her feel insecure about only running a cafe for a living. Alma takes a call from Mike who's seeing his solicitor this afternoon and they make a date to discuss the situation on neutral ground tonight.

Audrey and Deirdre's next topic of conversation is the new kitchen at the Rovers and the food and health laws that preceded the renovations. Deirdre believes that even though the sandwiches and pies sold at the corner shop aren't prepared on site, they still are covered by the legal restrictions, does Alf know? Audrey thinks he probably does but is keeping his head down much as Alec always did until he got caught. Alf and Alec are the same when it comes to spending their brass!

At that moment, Alf is eating one of his own sandwiches in the pub and ends up sharing it with Betty. (And just last week when the pub wasn't serving food, you could swing a very large cat and not hit a customer. So how come this week, with no food being served during the renovations, is the pub nearly full at dinnertime?) Anyway one of the builders, Mick, comes out looking for Alec and as Alec is at the train station fetching Vicky, he has a leer and a flirt with Raquel who puts him in his place handily. Just then Alec and Bet arrive back with Vicky and the three of them go into the back, take one look at the mess and stop in their tracks. The builders inform Alec that they have to leave for the rest of the day to finish up another job. As soon as they warn Alec that the toilet is broken and they'll have to use the one in the bar until the plumber arrives in the morning, Bet makes an executive decision and orders Alec to take the three of them out to a lunch at a posh hotel.

After lunch Vicky finds her way to the bike shop to see Steve and they make a date to go to the pictures tonight, meeting outside on the corner. Jim takes the mick out of the both of them and after Vicky leaves, teases Steve about cradle robbing.

Gail and Alma clean up after closing and discuss...well, you know.

Vicky is toasting a tea cake over that burner, crisping it to charcoal. It looks very much like a raisin bagel to me but apparently it is not. Bet and Alec aren't too pleased to hear about Vicky's date but don't forbid it.

It's also the end of the day at the Kabin. Mavis and Derek are optimistic and fuzzy about al their togetherness but Derek arms the alarm *before* he starts to run down the checklist, did you check the door to the flat, is the window locked... etc. and the alarm starts to howl because they didn't get out the door quick enough.

Mike meets Alma in a nice wine bar and is full of compliments, minimizing all her concerns about her reputation. He is more concerned with wining and dining her but she resists. There's more of the usual yadda, yadda, yadda, If we stick together etc.

Alf seems to be feeling generous and buying rounds for Deirdre, Audrey and Emily who all wonder if he's celebrating something as it's such an unusual event! There's a phone call for Bet from her friend Stella Rigby. When Betty finds out she frowns and predicts trouble. Round about that time, Steve and Vicky arrive at the back door of the pub back from their date. They exchange a few words about Vicky's valentine card from Steve. They are a bit awkward so Vicky takes the initiative and reaches up to give Steve a quick kiss. He takes her arm and begins to kiss her properly but Alec comes out the back door and catches them. Vicky is highly embarrassed to be hauled inside and scolded. Bet gets the gist of the argument and tells Stella that answer is yes and she'll call her tomorrow. She hangs up just as Vicky is doing the teenage bop up the staircase with admirable use of the stomping footwork! Bet tells Alec about her phone call and her plans. She's off to Tenerife with Stella for a couple of weeks. But, Alec sputters, what about the bar, the renovations and Vicky!? Bet just smiles that smile of one who has the upper hand and fires her shot... she had to manage it all at Christmas alone so see how he likes it!!!

Line of the day, Vicky assuring Bet and Alec that the mess in the living quarters doesn't upset her unduly "You don't have to treat me like a princess, i'm quite used to roughing it if i have to!" (um, yeah. Roughing it. *cough cough*)

Diane Johnston

Mick Dexter CARL CHASE Nigel Chadwick RICHARD REDPATH
Written by PHIL WOODS Directed by JULIAN JARROLD

Tuesday (3368, Wednesday 8 April 1992)

Mavis and Derek face more bumps in their running of the Kabin (quel surprise). It seems Mr. Dobson got a copy of "Motorsport" instead of "Practical Fishkeeping". Then there's Mrs. Stanton, among others, whose paper hasn't been delivered at all! Derek checks and sees that all the trouble seems to be linked to the route of that young Nigel Chadwick! Derek is more certain than ever that Nigel is "trying it on" now that Rita's gone. When the paper carriers come in with their bags at the end of the evening route, Derek makes them all wait for his pronouncement of a new policy. He's "devised a scheme", God help us, whereby the carriers will pay the cost of each paper or magazine lost. Today, he says, Nigel owes them £1.20. "That's more than a day's pay!" protests Nigel. "Now you're getting the message!" replies Derek smugly. Nigel says he quits; the other two carriers (who Dirk blithely decides to divide Nigel's route between, to their consternation) leave with him. Later in the house Mavis worries that Derek was a bit hasty. He replies that Nigel's words were empty threats and he'll be at the shop the next morning as usual.

Alma continues fretting about her name appearing on Jackie Ingram's petition of divorce. She is unhappy about waiting helplessy while having to rely on Mike Baldwin, of all people, to sort it out. Gail tells her to be patient. Unfortunately, when Mike comes in towards the end of the day, he hasn't been able to contact "the bloke" (I'm unsure if this refers to his solicitor, or Jackie's, but I think the latter), although he's tried. He'll keep trying, and Alma will keep fretting.

The living area of the Rovers is "all up in slings" as we say in Newfoundland, and Alec's temper is in just as much of a disorder when his day begins. As he berates Mick Dexter (aren't credits wonderful?), the head workman, Bet intervenes and suggests that he should take it out on her, as it's her he's actually angry at for going to Tenerife on holiday. He should be glad she's even talking to him, she points out, as Victoria isn't (after Alec blundered through the end of her date with Steve MacDonald the previous evening). However, showing that her heart is as always even bigger than her padded shoulders, Bet offers to invite Vickie along to Tenerife with her. Alec, who has obviously been at his wit's end over how to care for Vickie alone (I mean, she's a girrrrrrrrrrl. And she has girrrrrrrrrrl stuff.), is visibly relieved at her generous offer.

Later on in the pub, Victoria and Bet discuss the trip to Tenerife, and while Victoria is moved by Bet's offer to take her along, she says she'd prefer to stay around Weatherfield. She doesn't get to see that much of her granddad, what with being in boarding school, and... ...and there are other attractions closer to home in the form of Steve MacDonald, Bet guesses correctly.

Speaking of Slimy Steve, Vickie then goes to see Steve at the garage. She says that Bet invited her to Tenerife. Would Steve miss her if she went? she asks. He says he would. Then it's a good thing she didn't go, she smiles. Steve mentions this party his friend is planning in Liverpool. "Who are you taking?" asks Vickie. "Dunno," replies Steve, "but don't mention that it's overnight." Uh-oh. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's a plot foreshadowing! They make plans to meet that evening.

Bet reminds Alec that Nicholas Wilding, the solicitor and close friend of Vickie's parents who is overseeing Vickie's estate, will be coming by today. He's coming to settle with Alec on the money they've paid out for Vickie's care and education so far. It would be in Alec's best interest to have Vickie on his side before that meeting, Bet warns. Alec takes her at her word and has a small heart-to-heart with Vickie, telling her she means a great deal to him and he worries about her. This seems to pour oil on the waters for the time being. Vickie tells Alec she's turned down Bet's offer of a holiday in Tenerife. In response to his visible discomfort with this she says that she won't be any bother - as long as he's not "too heavy about Steve". As she's pretty much got him in a corner, Alec can only set his mouth and nod.

When Nicholas Wilding comes the little family tell the workmen to knock off and gather at the dining room table in the midst of the detritus. Wilding notes that everything seems to be in order and there should be no problem with reimbursing Alec for all his expenses. He just has a small query or two about some of Vickie's horse's expenses, as they seem a bit high. Vickie, Bet and Alec explain each of the necessary expenses for replacing gear and care for the horse. Then Wilding mentions a saddle at £200. Was that necessary, too? Bet and Victoria say there must be some confusion - that saddle was £300 and was Vickie's Christmas present from Alec! It soon becomes apparent that Alec has paid £300 for the saddle and then attempted to claim £200 of it back to Vickie's estate!

The next time we see Bet and Alec in the back of the Rovers, Nick Wilding has left and so has Vickie. Bet is understandably furious. Alec thinks it's not so bad as he only charged part of the saddle back to the estate, and the lawyer okayed it, he points out, waving the cheque. Betty angrily says that if he couldn't afford to pay the whole shot, he shouldn't have given it to Vickie as a gift, to which Alec replies that it was the one she wanted! Bet points out what Victoria must be thinking - that she has a "conniving old Scrooge for a granddad" who, because he wanted to "look big", bought a £300 Christmas gift for his granddaughter and because he is so cheap, charged £200 of it back to her own estate! "That means she's paid more for it than you have!" Bet says in exasperation. In response to Alec's chagrined query she says she doesn't know where Vickie is, but Alec had better find her because Bet is going shopping for her upcoming holiday.

Later after returning from her shopping trip, Bet goes out back where, after two attempts she manages to make enough noise to not "catch" Steve and Vickie necking :) Steve leaves, giving Bet and Vickie chance to talk. Bet assures Vickie that she had nothing to do with Alec's stunt, but she does defend Alec. She reminds Victoria that Alec grew up in poverty, and by the time he was Vick's age he was out of school and working hard. He didn't have ponies or boarding schools, and to this day he can't resist an opportunity to make or save money. Vickie is deeply hurt, however. She says her mother and grandmother always said Alec was mean and spiteful, and she never believed them, but now she does. Tomorrow she's going to see Uncle Nick (Wilding) and tell him she wants no more of Alec, Bet or the Rovers! Alec walks up in time to see ther run away. Bet snaps that he'll be happy to know he got what he wanted - there's no way she can go on holiday now!

ronniecat

Mick Dexter: CARL CHASE Nicholas Wilding: MARK LINDLEY Mrs. Stanton: JOAN ELDER Nigel Chadwick: RICHARD REDPATH
Written by KEN BLAKESON Directed by JULIAN JARROLD

Wednesday (3369, Friday 10 April 1992)

It's early morning on the street, and at the Kabin, none of the kids have shown up for their newspaper deliveries. Mavis blames it on Derek; he shouldn't have threatened to deduct the price of "non-deliveries" from their wages. Derek is confident that the kids are just late, until Martin arrives and informs him that there are picketers outside. Derek rushes out, and to his horror, finds the kids marching back and forth. Nigel steps forward and informs Derek how unfair he is -- making mistakes with the routes, and then charging the kids for his errors. "Carpet Head" claims he's "management-trained" and summarily fires the lot!

Down the street, both Vicky and Bett are up early. Bett tells Vicky she was worried about her being out so late the night before, and Vicky explains that she was hurt by Alec, but has settled down since then. She offers to help Bett with her packing, but Bett has changed her mind, and won't be going on vacation after all. Bett tells Vicky that Alec has made a lot of mistakes, but does love her, and Vicky realizes this is true. Then she rather slyly tells Bett that there's no point in her hanging about; she knows how to "handle" Alec, having observed Bett in action. They agree that it makes sense for Bett to enjoy herself, so the plans are changed again and the trip to Tenerife is on.

Meanwhile, Derek has decided that there is nothing else to be done, so he and Mavis will have to deliver the papers. "Struggle is the food of generals" he tells an unimpressed Mave.

Alec tears into the living room, and finding Bett ironing clothes for her trip, sputters that he can't believe she's still planning to go away. He apologizes to Vicky, but she puts an end to the discussion by telling him she thinks it best if the matter is dropped. Bett informs Alec that Vicky needs 50 quid for a new coat, and having already been caught-out on his miserliness, Alec can scarcely argue the point.

At the MacDonald residence, Steve and Andy argue over clothing and the party in Liverpool. Andy purposely lets it slip that if Steve is planning to attend, he'd better pack a toothbrush.

Audrey arrives at the Rover's Return to wish Bett well on her vacation, and doesn't miss the opportunity to flirt with Mick. Mavis trudges slowly down the street with her empty paper bag just as Bett emerges from the pub with her luggage and climbs into a cab. Vicky, Audrey, and Betty wave her off.

In the bike shop, Steve tells his father that he's only going to an l8th birthday party in Liverpool, and since it is quite a distance, the kids planned an "all-nighter." Jim is adamant that Steve won't be going. Steve gives the usual argument that he's not a kid, knows how to take care of himself, and won't make any stupid mistakes. Jim's response is that if he hadn't made stupid mistakes himself, Steve wouldn't be alive!

Percy complains bitterly to Mavis that his paper was late. Nigel stops at the Kabin to buy chips and pop for himself and his fellow "strikers" just as Derek arrives, having finished his deliveries. He mistakenly thinks that Nigel is there to apologize.

Back at the Rover's Return, there's a misunderstanding over who is to accompany Vicky on her shopping expedition. Betty was supposedly asked by Bett, but Raquel feels that Vicky needs someone closer to her own age. As it turns out, Vicky informs them both that she doesn't need an escort, and leaves on her own.

Oh no! Another scene at the Cafe, with Alma going on and on (again) to Gail about Jackie naming her in the divorce petition. Gail suggests that Alma not rely on Mike to sort things out.

Mike, meanwhile, is at the solicitor's office, and he tells Mr. Barrett that he wants Alma's name removed from the petition. The lawyer reminds Mike that he was the one who specifically named Alma as the co-respondent; Mike realizes that, but now he wants the divorce to go forward on the grounds of adultery, but without a specific party named. Barrett says that isn't possible, as the papers have been issued and filed, so a shirty Mike informs him that if he doesn't take Alma's name out of the picture, he'll make him look a "burke" in court.

Steve and Vicky are spending the afternoon shopping, so we see a montage of shots of Vicky emerging from changing rooms in various, outrageous outfits, the last of which is a short red dress.

Andy irons some clothes while telling his mother that he and Paula are planning to go camping together over the summer. Liz is shocked and makes it clear immediately that she won't allow it. Just then, Jim gets home and asks Andy to lend him a hand lifting a motor. When Andy asks where "the cradle snatcher" is, Jim tells him that Steve has the afternoon off. At that point, he also tells Liz that Steve asked if he could go to the all-nighter in Liverpool, and he said yes.

Steve and Vicky talk outside after their shopping spree, and Vicky confides that Alec makes her feel like a lodger, keeping track of all her expenses. She also wangles for an invitation to the party in Liverpool.

The kids are still chanting and marching outside the Kabin. Derek confronts them and tells them they'll all be sorry when that have no pocket money for the weekend.

Steve suggests that Vicky tell Alec how she feels, and she agrees. As they kiss each other goodbye, Alec appears and loses his temper. He orders Vicky to get inside and tells Steve to push off -- and to stay away from his grand-daughter. Steve reminds Alec that Vicky wanted to spend the afternoon with him, and that should tell him something.

Over the dinner table, Derek goes on about the problems he's having with the kids, his belief being that they'll all show up the following morning to do their routes -- until he's interrupted by the chanting. Mavis bursts into tears at that point and tells Derek that he's ruined everything.

A sympathetic Betty counsels Alec that the more he pushes Vicky, the more she'll pull. She suggests that he have a talk with her, and give her "a little cuddle," as they both look in need of one. Alec agrees, and is about to find Vicky when she appears behind the bar, wearing her new red dress, large earrings, and a lot of make-up.

At the Cafe, Mike tells Alma (again) that he'll sort things out, blah, blah, blah. Alma, however, has decided to take matters into her own hands and see Jackie herself. Realizing that he's about to get caught, Mike swiftly begs her not to do this, promising that he'll confront Jackie.

Alec has a hissy fit over Vicky's outfit, and demands that she return the dress immediately. She informs him that she bought it with her own money, while Steve kindly bought her the earrings. Alec tells her that she's selfish and stubborn, and he consigns her to her room, after she's washed her face. A very angry Vicky does not back down though, and she informs Alec that she and Steve will be going to a party -- an all-nighter, and he can't stop her. She rubs a bit of salt in when she tells Alec that he can rent her room out that night, and make a bit of money!

Heather Morlan

Nigel Chadwick: RICHARD REDPATH Gordon Barrett: CARL FORGIONE
Written by PAUL ABBOTT Directed by JULIAN JARROLD

Thursday (3370, Monday 13 April 1992)

Poor Derek is exhausted and he still has 8 more routes to deliver! He staggers into the Kabin with his empty delivery bag on his wilted shoulder and what does he get from Mavis? "This is the man who's going to revolutionize paper delivery!" He lists all of his physical complaints and grouses about the early hour. Totally unsympathetic, Mavis just points out that the early hours won't stop when they own the shop. Derek can't understand why nobody answered his adverts for replacement deliverers. Can you say "boycott"??? Mavis can and she's short tempered with Derek who only wants a quick tea break. But since he's not about to lower himself and let a group of mere school children get the better of him, Mavis shoves another bag of papers at his chest. One more and 7 to go!

Alec chats to Bet on the phone and hands it over to Vicky who has agreed to have a word. In fact, a word is about all she says, in the time-honored fashion of 15 year olds everywhere, every sentence in answer to Bet's questions barely contain more than one word each. Alec thought she could have mustered a bit more enthusiasm but Vicky is still at odds with her grandfather, this time because he won't let her go to the all night party in Liverpool with Steve. Nothing Alec says is the right thing (you all with teens know the drill!) and she rebels, she's going to the party and just he try and stop her!

Angie greets Percy who is standing on the pavement in front of the Kabin. He seems quite down in the mouth, sad and lonely. He turns down Derek's offer of a paper route to top up his pension, preferring to sit his bum on a park bench instead. Angie turns Derek down as well.

Mike puts his plan into high gear, attempting to ensure that Alma doesn't drop anything into it. He urges Alma to stay away from Jackie and let him sort it out. Oh God! She said it again! "It's not true, Mike"! which sparks off the same old yadda, yadda, yadda! (My turn to perform the Updaters Hari Kari Suicide Ritual!)

Alec is now avoiding the living quarters (one surly teenager does seem to take up more room than most average humans, don't you think?) Betty mentions that she's just seen Percy sulking on a park bench and Alec winces. Percy's done this before, gone all gloomy so all and sundry feel sorry for him and gang up on Alec for barring the old man.

Back to the Kabin Derek finally admits to Mavis that she was right and he was wrong. How does it feel to be right all the time, he ponders with exhaustion. Mavis does us women proud, uttering the traditional "I'm not saying a thing!" with lips admirably pursed and "I told you so" shooting from every glance. Derek is backing down and is going to apologize to the children and ask them to come back. None too soon, either, as Mavis informs him Rita is due back tomorrow! Derek panics and tries to talk Mavis into calling Nigel, the ringleader but Mavis holds her ground. He got himself into this and he'll just have to undo it!

Alec stalks down to the MacDonald's with a mission. He makes some small talk with Liz to break the ice and then broaches the subject at hand...Steve taking Vicky to the all night rave. Liz of course has no idea that Vicky has talked Steve into it and told her grandfather that Liz approved. Liz doesn't see anything wrong with the teens being friends at least and as Alec objects so strongly and Vicky is obviously playing things up, she promises to have a word with Steve. She later wanders over to the bike shop to find Steve who's out on an errand for Jim. She fills Jim in on the situation but Jim doesn't seem too bothered that Alec's got his face in a knot. He is more amused that Alec is just coming to the realization that it isn't easy raising kids, Welcome to the Club, Jim chuckles.

In a quiet, wonderful scene as only Corrie can do....Alec, heartsick that he and Vicky are at odds and humbled by the whole parenting-gone-wrong, is thoughtfully beginning to shift some crates of empties when Percy pops his head round the gate. Oh it's you! Percy offers to help and apologizes and says it was all a misunderstanding. He was only standing up for the little man and yes, admits he should have realized the possible consequences. Alec, caught in a vulnerable moment, shows a human side for once and though Percy's cost him thousands, accepts the older man's apology (at least i think he's older! Shouldn't Alec be on pension too by now?) The two men partner off and shift the crates while they talk, the camera looking down from above. Alec even allows Percy to come back in the Rovers tonight and Percy's face shines in a big smile as they finish the work together.

Derek must have done his duty because he and Mavis are kitting up the delivery bags for the afternoon shift. They have four of the kids back so far and are still waiting for Nigel who made Derek sweat a bit on the phone. He does show up after all but will only return to work on the condition that Derek pay him and the others for the missing days' wages. Derek opens his mouth around his foot but Mavis saves him by cutting off is objection, telling the lads they will get their money.

Jim's in the kitchen wearing a brown full length apron with a big pink pig on it and is cheerfully taste-testing a pot of pasta sauce. Liz hears Steve come home and calls him in. There's a bit of banter between father and son over father's cooking attempts before Liz sits him down for a talk. Steve tells his parents that Vicky invited herself to the party so he agreed to take her. He figured Alec wouldn't let her but Vicky told him it was ok so he agreed. Liz refutes the evidence and makes Jim agree with her that Steve shouldn't take Vicky to the party, underage that she is. Steve doesn't seem that upset and agrees.

Mike arrives to see Jackie who is cold and hateful toward him. He wants to ask a favour and she knows he's trying to black mail her into something. Right enough, and he asks her to agree to take Alma's name off the divorce petition. She gives him a hard time, after all he was the one wanted the name on in the first place and now he's changed his mind! He stick handles and tries to convince her to ask her solicitor to make the changes because he couldn't get the man to budge. She does agree that she doesn't care one way or the other if Alma's name is involved but apparently intends to keep him hanging a bit longer by telling her solicitor when she gets around to it.

At that time, or there abouts, Alma is in the pub for a little G&T and sympathy from Raquel and Betty. Betty isn't giving Alec any sympathy, she's still snarking at him over his treatment of Percy. Alec keeps his own confidence until later when Percy gingerly approaches the bar. Betty immediately jumps on Alec and warns him she'll leave if Alec throws Percy out. Alec is just standing by, allowing Percy to apologize quite humbly, mentioning that Alec had invited him back in . Betty turns to Alec, astonished, and noting the sh** eating grin on his face spits out in disgust "Look at 'im! If he grins any more, 'e'll swallow 'is ears!" (*chuckle* i LIKE that one!) Percy has his pint poured and is welcomed back by Don. Percy gets his own back on Alec though, shifting Alec's grin to a teeth-gritting tongue biting grimace when, after his first sip, he comments that Alec must need to clean out the beer pumps. Point!

Derek and Mavis arrive at the pub and Mavis joins Alma while Derek gets the drinks in. Mavis witters on about how Alma and Ken had made such a lovely couple. Mike overhears as he's just in to have a word with Alma and drags her outside. She nearly leaves him high and dry when he can't help getting a few shots in at Ken's expense but settles down. He loads and fires the big fat lie, telling her that Jackie's solicitor won't budge and he can't get hold of Jackie, she's out of the country! Oh Mike!

Diane Johnston

Jackie Ingram SHIRIN TAYLOR Nigel Chadwick RICHARD REDPATH
Written by STEPHEN MALLATRAT Directed by JULIAN FARINO

Friday (3371, Wednesday 15 April 1992)

Rita and Ted have touched down on return from their Florida vacation and are now taxiing back to Weatherfield. Feeling jet lagged, Rita says that she'll soldier on through the day and then try to get a good night so that she can get in step again with the rest of England. They both feel it all looks a "bit different" after Florida.

In the cafe, Gail remarks to Alma that she looks "terrible". Alma admits she didn't sleep well, worrying about Jackie Ingram's divorce action. Gail urges her (not for the first time) to get in touch with her own solicitor instead of relying on Mike. Alma immediately heads for the phone, not to call her solicitor but to call Mike. The phone rings at Mike's flat but he sits idly tapping his fingers and letting it ring. A minute later, Mike rings back, pretending he's calling from his solicitor's office. No need to worry, he assures Alma - he intends to call in a favour. When Alma again proposes she get her own solicitor, he kiboshes the idea saying he'll get his man to handle things for both of them. He magnanimously adds that he'll foot the bill!

In the Kabin, Derek complains about having too many gold labels on hand. He laments to Mavis that the business is "drifting". Before Mavis can respond by telling him to "drift off", Rita and Ted arrive in a flurry of excitement and gold labels are forgotten for the moment. Amid welcomes home from Mavis and Derek, Ted helps Rita in with her luggage and then takes himself off for home, saying heíll see Rita later this evening.

At the McDonalds', Liz tells Steve there is no way he's bringing Vicky to the party in Liverpool. When Jim comes in, she demands backing up. Steve doesn't see the problem - it's only a party. But as Liz points out, Vicky is *only* 15! Steve accuses her of doing Alec Gilroy's bidding but she assures him she has her own reasons. Jim says he wouldn't want Steve to make the same mistake he made - "Not that your mother was a 'mistake'!", he hastens to add. "I wasn't 15 either!" interjects Liz.

Vicky is off to spend some time with Saracen at the stables. Alec stops her to warn her against sneaking off with Steve McDonald. "Don't worry, the party's not until tonight", she replies coolly. She announces she'll be back to change at tea time but she does intend to go! Wringing his hands in despair, Alec turns to Betty for advice. "Just keep talking to her", offers Betty - "locking her in her room is bound to make things worse!"

Percy comes into the pub wishing the landlord a "good morning" but Alec fails to see what's good about it. Percy helpfully reminds him that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, which advice cheers Alec not a whit. Down the bar, Audreh is asking Rita if it'll be a June wedding for her and Ted. She'll need a new hat of course. She bought one last year for Gail's wedding but she couldn't wear that again - it wouldn't be fair to Gail *or* Rita!

Mike pops into the Cafe to let Alma know the latest. Gail isn't pleased that he's chosen the busiest time of day but he pleads that it'll only take a minute and that it's "urgent". Alma is all ears as Mike tells her the news - according to his solicitor, the only thing to do is deny adultery in court. Alma is suitably disappointed but Mike tells her all is not lost - he promises to see what he can do with Jackie's solicitor. "See if there's some other way to give him his pound of flesh - some way that doesn't affect you".

After her visit to the stables, Vicky happens by the bike shop to see Steve. Jim artfully leaves them alone and Steve breaks the news to Vicky that he won't be taking her to the party. She can't understand why Steve can't stand up to his mother like she has done with Alec. Steve explains he can't go back to school (as she can) when things get awkward - he has to live here...

In the Cafe, Gail is trying to keep Alma calm until she hears from Mike again. The phone rings and it's him, now "ringing from Jackie's solicitor's", (which looks an awful lot like Mikeís flat)! In hushed tones, he tells her he is "trying to get them to be reasonable". Mike allows her to express her worry once again before faking her out with, "Oh, looks like they're ready for me - stay by the phone!" (Didn't they have *call display* in 1992?)

Hard at work in the library, Andy and Paula decide it's time to take a break. They can't go to Paula's - in her parents' absence her brother and his friends have taken over the house. Andy suggests they go for a pizza and then go to his house which, by Andy's calculations is empty for the time being.

Vicky is whiling away the evening in front of the telly and looking pretty down in the dumps. Alec comes in to talk to her and as an ice-breaker, asks what time the party starts. "Doesn't matter", replies Vicky glumly. When he sees how downhearted she is, he offers to drive her and Steve down to Liverpool and then come back later to pick them up. (I was so impressed by his offer that I checked the distance between Weatherfield, well okay - Manchester, and Liverpool. It's only 26 miles, (42 kilometers) but still, for Alec, that's quite a generous gesture!) Alas, Vicky tells him that she won't be going and the reason is down to Steve's mum. Alec shares with Vicky that he only worries about her because he wants to protect her. She softens a bit and admits that she understands. She's more disappointed in Steve at present.

Another nail-biting call from Mike who tells Alma that he *may* have found a way to shift the other side. "It could still go either way", he advises soberly. She'd better meet him at his flat later so he let her know, "one way or the other".

Andy and Paula are cozily studying together when Jim and Liz walk in. As his parents settle down in front of the telly, Andy asks if Paula might spend the night since her parents are away. He hastens to explain that Paula could have his bed and he could stay on the settee. Liz seems unsure at first but ultimately agrees and goes up to change the sheets.

In the Rovers, Raquel tells Angie she is planning a surprise birthday bash next week for Des' 28th. She asks if she and Curly will be able to come. Angie reminds her that she and Curly are not a couple and therefore she can't speak for him.

Another day in partnership behind them, Derek and Mavis discuss the morning papers. He was rather hoping she would do them tomorrow, exhausted as he is. He doesn't want her thinking he won't be doing his share, of course. Oh no - he'll even draw up a rotor to make sure they each take their turns. "But Derek - there are only two of us", she reminds him. Still, he insists a rotor is the thing - it takes a man to organise a business properly!

Alma arrives on Mike's doorstep after he himself "only just" arrived home. She anxiously awaits news of the outcome of Mike's "negotiations" and he tells her there is "good news and bad news", but quickly assures her the "bad news" is only "bad" for him. Triumphantly, he informs her that he's managed to get her name removed from the petition. He'll still be cited for adultery but with a "woman unknown". Alma is so relieved that she readily agrees to a celebratory drink. After a minute, she remembers his allusion to "bad news" and asks about it. Pretending to shrug it off, Mike answers, "Oh that... It's only bad news for me". He goes on to "explain" that he had to sacrifice a sizable portion of his cash settlement in exchange for the deal. "It's only money", he adds for effect. "Well, I am *truly* grateful", says the unwitting Alma. "Good! Then it was worthwhile", returns Mike with gusto.

Jim and Liz have dragged out watching TV as long as Jim is willing and he now decides to go up to bed. Liz nervously retreats after him but not before offering to show Paula her room. Andy makes it clear that Paula can find it on her own so Liz finally takes the hint and goes.

Mellowed after a couple of drinks, Alma asks Mike whether he thinks Jackie actually believed that she had an adulterous fling with him. Mike speculates that she probably would have liked to believe it - she always *was* jealous of Alma. Surprised to hear it, Alma is even more taken aback when Mike adds that his marriage never really stood a chance. "I've always been in love with you, Alma", he confesses. "I wasn't thinking straight when I married her - I should have been married to you!" Alma sits biting her lip while Mike continues winding her around his finger. He tells her that no one cares about her like he does. Then he asks, "Why don't you marry me?" To his surprise (and the eternal regret of millions of fans!) Alma answers simply, "Yes". Not sure he has heard right, Mike stops - "What? You will? You'll marry me?" She can barely contain herself this time, "Yes!"

In Rita's flat, she and Ted are unwinding after their first day back home. She's putzing around getting their drinks when Ted calls her to come and sit down with him. Jokingly, Rita asks if he is going to say he's gone off her. Far from it, Ted assures her. "It's been great. If I got run over by a bus tomorrow, I'd have no regrets." Rita calls it a sweet sentiment, if a trifle morbid. He continues by saying it's the quality of the relationship that counts - not the length. She nods her agreement. "What I'm trying to say is you have to make the most of the time you have". Rita's face starts to cloud as he goes on, "I didn't tell you sooner because I didn't want you to feel pressured... Two years ago, I developed a brain tumour. They operated, successfully." "Well - that's good, isn't it?" Rita answers in tentative relief. Taking a deep breath, he tells her the worst - he has another tumour now and this time, it isn't operable. He may have two years left - maybe less. "But whatever time I have left, I want to spend it with you." Rita is speechless with shock and grief. Staring into his eyes, she shakes her head in disbelief as her eyes fill with tears.

Anita Belanger

Paula Maxwell: JUDY BROOKE
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by JULIAN FARINO


Originally transmitted: 17, 20, 22, 24 & 27 April 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 13 - Friday 17 September 1999
Episode Numbers: 3372 - 3376

Monday (3372, Friday 17 April 1992)

Liz is shocked and appalled at the sight of the settee adorned with nothing but folded blanket in the morning. Andy has obviously spent the night upstairs with Paula. Liz rages...How could he? What kind of girl does that make Paula? What would her parents say and what if she's pregnant? Jim has no answers and although isn't completely successful at suppressing his fatherly pride over his son's ....initiation, shall we say, to manhood, agrees to have a word with Andy about his conduct. He manages to avoid the issue for awhile because Andy, aware he's in deep do-do, avoids the inevitable confrontation by walking Paula home after a breakfast filled with awkward silences and looks that could kill from his mother. But eventually he must face the music and consequences of his actions and his "It just happened, we didn't plan it" doesn't cut much mustard. Though Jim was supposed to be the one doing the talking, he doesn't end up doing much more than agreeing with Liz who delivers the lecture about responsibilities, respect and while you're under our roof you have to mind our wishes. Standard stuff, no shouting really, just one clearly embarrassed lad and one disappointed mother with a father doing his best to back her up, so he is! In the course of the discussion we are let do assume the young people at least practiced safe sex, much to Liz and Jim's relief, considering their pre-marital history!

Mike and Alma have spent a happy night together. Mike is so excited about their engagement that he wants to shout it from the rooftops. She would like to be a little more discreet but agrees to let him tell people. Alma tells Gail in the cafe. Gail is clearly stunned and taken aback but Alma is so happy that Gail resignedly gives her best wishes. Of course she's happy for her friend if it's what Alma truly wants. Oh it is, Alma assures her. She tried to avoid it but it must be ordained in the stars!. (and when a star reaches the end of it's life, it explodes in a devastating explosion...long term consequences of this marriage are being played out 7 years later!)

Derek and Mavis have already had a few curious potential buyers for their house and they excitedly make plans for their future. Rita is edgy and distracted though manages to cover her emotional turmoil so that Mavis doesn't suspect there's a problem. She makes arrangements for Mavis to mind the shop while she has a talk with Ted upstairs and when they sit down, Rita breaks down. Ted talks to her calmly and soothingly and answers all her questions. Yes, he was scared and angry at first, he got several opinions and has finally accepted that there is nothing more that can be done. Rather than waste time, he's going to make the most of what time he has left and meeting Rita has only been an unexpected pleasure (hold on, it's already been established that he has known her through business for 20 years!) He apologizes for not telling her before he asked her to marry him, but there never seemed the right time and he never found the right words. Does she feel trapped? She says she doesn't but she's in shock and is very angry, not at him though. She feels like the Happiness Police have tricked her by handing joy to her on a plate and then snatching it back bitterly.

That night in the pub, Raquel begins making plans for Des's surprise birthday party by inviting a few more guests. Ted and Rita have emerged, emotionally wrung out by their day. Mike and Alma arrive and Mike spends 15 quid buying all the regulars drinks in celebration and word quickly spreads. Audrey is dead pleased for her friend with no reservations. Mike makes a special point to have a friendly word with Ted and Rita as the other engaged couple. There is a toast and good wishes but they only echo in Rita's mind as she sits there amid the happy crowd, still reeling.

Diane Johnston

Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by JULIAN FARINO

Tuesday (3373, Monday 20 April 1992)

Bits, pieces and apologies today as some teensy weensy storylines get advanced a teensy weensy bit, while a major storyline sees a significant development.

Teensy weensy story developments today:

... Gail and Martin work on decorating the house, Nicky's room in particular. Granny Ivy comes by to take the kids to the fair, which is appreciated, and sticks around long enough to throw in her fifteen cents on the decorating, which isn't!

... Betty and Vickie try to figure out how to work the newfangled kitchen equipment to the tune of a great deal of moaning from Betty. She makes a mistake when setting the oven timer, as a result of which there are no lunchtime hotpots. Alec threatens to have a stroke at this news, but Vickie covers for Betty, saying it was a minor mechanical failure which they've since fixed. Steve comes by the Rovers to see Vickie and Alec grudgingly admits him to see Vickie in the living quarters. Steve apologizes for not taking her to the party in Liverpool (that's one). She seems fine with this. They are both amused at Alec's stumbling in to "look for something" - "he's not very subtle, is he?" Vickie asks Steve - and agree to meet the next day.

... Raquel wonders aloud to Jack if Alec would give her a discount on booze for Des' birthday party since she works at the Rovers. Jack suggests the she is both young and naive, and she proves she is both when she asks Alec anyway. He of course says no ("it's not policy!"), leaving the Bubbly Barmaid in an un-effervescent mood indeed!

In more major developments...

Mike and Alma, together again... it's enough to make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. As Mike and Alma return to the Cafe after a weekend together, Mike suggests out of the blue that Alma gather together some stuff and move into his flat that evening. A rather bowled-over Alma doesn't really reply before Mike whirlwinds out of the Cafe. Later, however, in her flat, they discuss the matter of cohabitation more seriously. She wants to have a 'courtship', says Alma, and then when they get married they'll live together. Mike bluntly decrees this to be "pathetic"! Either you want to be with someone or you not, he says. Living apart is fine when you're 18, but they're adults. He wants to live together. Well, Alma doesn't! Mike leaves, cranky, after Alma accuses him of bullying her. Mike, however, goes to find Alma that evening in The Rovers. He says he's thought it over and Alma is right. He even apologizes, (that's two) telling her to note it because he doesn't do it very often (too right!).

Derek and Mavis putter about the garden today although Derek thinks it's a bit of a waste of work, considering someone else will own the house and garden soon. Mavis agrees to weed for awhile but says she must leave early to give Rita some time off from the Kabin.

Meanwhile at that same Kabin, Rita is telling Ted she cannot take some time off to spend with him because it's Mavis' day off and she is tied to the counter all day. She is clearly unhappy and uncomfortable around Ted but Vera's presence in the shop is a buffer between them. Rita then sends Ted off to go for a walk - she'll still be there when he gets back - "if you come back," she mutters under her breath. Later in the day Mavis chirpily comes by and offers to take over so that Rita can spend some time with Ted but a distressed Rita refuses the offer and when pressed by a disbelieving Mavis she becomes quite rude and insists Mavis literally leave her alone. Mavis leaves rather hurt.

Later in the day, however, just after Ted returns to the Kabin, Mavis tries again. She lets the cat out of the bag by telling Ted in Rita's presence that she had offered Rita the afternoon off but Rita had refused it most firmly - practically chased her out of the shop! However, she says, in spite of that she is back to try again to give the lovebirds some time together. Rita realizes that things have come to a head and now takes Mavis up on her offer to mind the shop while she and Ted go up to the flat for a talk.

Upstairs, Ted notes that Mavis "gave the game away", and says he knows why Rita lied about not being able to get away - she couldn't face Ted. He says he knows how upset she is - so was he when he found out. It seems so unfair, says a shell-shocked Rita. Why him? Why now, just when she's found him? Ted admits he has been unfair, asking her to share his life when he knew and she didn't. He apologizes, making a nice round three for this episode. Now, however, he says that Rita must forget any promises they made each other. Ted is walking out of her life. He won't come see her and won't call - won't contact her in any way. If she wants him back, she must only let him know and he will be back like a shot - but if not, he will never bother her again. Rita says she can't let him go like that, but he says she can't stop him - this is his decision. "Take your time," he says as he leaves. "I shan't bother you. Just be sure... let me know if you want me back." The episode ends with a tearful Rita looking shattered by the turn of events.

ronniecat

Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by STEPHEN BUTCHER

Wednesday (3374, Wednesday 22 April 1992)

Another day on the street, and Rita starts hers by apologizing to Mavis for the way she was treated yesterday. Mavis misunderstands Rita's edginess, and thinking it all has to do with pre-wedding jitters, begins to enumerate the doubts and apprehension she experienced before marrying Derek. She offers to be available if Rita wants to talk, and is clearly a little miffed when Rita fails to disclose the source of her anxiety.

Des is leaving for work as Phyllis arrives at his place. Raquel proposes that she and Phyllis sit down to a nice cup of tea and chat about the plans for Des' surprise birthday party.

Betty, Vicky, and Alec are drinking their morning coffee, and Alec reveals that he'll be putting food prices up to pay for the new equipment.

Down the street, Jim borrows a pair of pliers from Kevin, and as he complains about how slow business is at the bike shop, Raquel shows up to invite them both to Des' party on Friday.

At the Cafe, Mike tells Alma that he will have his Decree Nisi by May 8, so will be free to re-marry six weeks later. He proposes a June wedding, and Alma agrees.

Alec asks Vicky to prepare a list of her school needs, for which he will provide the necessary funds, but he warns her not to expect him to traipse around the shops with her. The phone rings, and Alec isn't pleased when he realizes that it's Steve MacDonald, looking for Vicky. He's even less happy when he overhears Vicky telling Steve that she can "handle" her grandfather.

Back at the Cafe, Alma and Mike consult a calendar and decide to get married on June l9. Alma suggests they also make a guest list, and Mike is surprised since he thought she wanted a quiet ceremony. Initially, that was Alma's wish, but she's changed her mind, and now wants a big wedding with a reception to follow.

Rita looks pale and stressed when Derek bursts into the Kabin to tell Mavis that their estate agent just called to say that they've had a firm offer on their house. While Mavis witters on about how excited she is that her dreams are finally coming true, Rita can't even force a tiny smile.

Vicky tells Alec that she's on her way to shop for a few school things, and he naturally wants to know if she's going to be meeting Steve MacDonald. She responds that she and Steve are going out that night, Alec assumes the usual pained expression on his face, and the predictable discussion follows: Alec thinks Vicky is too young, Vicky thinks she can take care of herself.

Audrey congratulates Mavis on selling the house as Rita announces that she's off for her lunch. Audrey offers to join her at the Rover's Return, but Rita says she's only going to buy a sandwich somewhere, and tries to rush off. Outside the Kabin, Audrey stops her by commenting that she looks in need of cheering up, but Rita claims that she just needs half an hour to herself to clear her mind. Audrey hearkens back to the days before she married Alf, and all the doubts and questions she had, while Rita just stares at her with a poker face. When Audrey sums up by saying that Rita will have "no problems... none at all" when she marries Ted, Rita looks even more despondent.

Alma and Gail finally sit down for a long-overdue break at the Cafe, and Alma interrupts Gail before she gets the chance to ask if Alma is sure she's doing the right thing by marrying Mike. Alma assures her that everything feels right this time, and then confides that the reason she wants a big wedding is because Mike and Jackie really splashed out for theirs.

At Bettabuys, Curly gives Vera an ear-bashing for yelling at a customer. Raquel arrives and asks Curly if he and Angie will be able to attend Des' surprise party, and she also wonders if Curly could get his employee discount on the booze. Curly agrees to help Raquel out, and Reg happens upon the scene just as Raquel plants a big kiss of gratitude on Curly's cheek. Reg goes into his usual melodramatic and unctuous mode over the inappropriateness of kissing in a public place, so Raquel unwisely explains the favour Curly is about to do for her. Reg kyboshes her plans by telling her that Curly providing discounted liquor is out of the question.

Derek is trying to turn the fairly uncomplicated task of running a small store into a complicated business venture by "reviewing stocks" and proposing that he and Mavis bring about some changes to the Kabin. Rita arrives in the midst of these discussions, and when Derek outlines his grandiose schemes, she snaps that Derek can do what he likes when he buys the place, but for now things will remain as they are.

Liz MacDonald stops by the bike shop to ask Steve what he'd like for his tea, but he isn't very helpful. When questioned, he admits that he and Vicky are planning to go to a movie, and this leads to another lecture about Vicky's age. Steve doesn't take the advice well, and points out that his mother is just worried that he'll follow his brother's example.

Raquel flatters Reg by telling him that she only asked Curly to help with his discount because she didn't think it would be appropriate to ask him (Reg). It might have given him the wrong idea, and led him to think that that the only reason she invited Reg to the party was to get cheap liquor. Reg scoffs at first, unwilling to believe that she planned to invite him to the party, but Raquel's big blue eyes and bubbly laughter convince him that she's telling the truth -- so he falls for her ploy and offers to get the booze himself.

Steve answers the door in late afternoon, and is surprised to see Vicky there. Supposedly she wants to discuss their plans for the evening, but in reality she wants him to meet her away from the Rover's Return, to avoid upsetting Alec. Steve is unhappy that they have so little time left before Vicky must return to school, so she proposes that Steve come to visit her at school. Steve knows that the school would never allow her to leave the premises with her boyfriend, but Vicky tells him they would let her go out with her "cousin Steve."

Alec complains to Reg that he still has a hefty bank loan to repay for all the renovations, and Reg suggests that Alec has to change his way of doing things if he wants to recoup his expenses. To begin with, Reg believes that they ought to be serving food all day, as opposed to their current practice of only making food available at meal times.

Mike arrives at the Cafe to take Alma out on their "date," and when she complains about her aching feet, Mike immediately proposes that she quit work since he can afford to support her. Alma's hackles go up immediately, and she sees that as a loss of independence, so isn't the least bit interested. She rants on about how untrustworthy Mike has been in the past, how she's been let down by him, so is unwilling to give up her means of support, causing Mike to wonder why she's agreed to marry him. Alma admits that she loves him and believes that they can have a fantastic marriage, but only if she can remain independent. Having asserted herself, she leaves the Cafe with a smile.

Heather Morlan

Written by BARRY HILL Directed by STEPHEN BUTCHER

Thursday (3375, Friday 24 April 1992)

It's Des's birthday. He's got cards and new tighty whiteys from his mum but nowt but a card from Rackle! Or so he thinks! She scolds him for expecting a pressie when he knows she's skint so after a quick pout he covers and pretends it's ok, he was just kidding and the card is brilliant! (It's one of those big ones that come in a box!) As soon as he leaves, Rackle and Phyllis giggle with glee over the plans for the surprise party and Rackle begs Phyllis to keep her mouth zipped and not to let the secret out.

Mike is seen popping in and out of the cafe today, conducting business deals with colleagues, helping himself to the tea in the pot and asking Gail to pass on messages to Alma. Gail glares at him swanning around the place like he owns it until she finally gives him an ear bashing for it. He tries to throw it in her face about him helping them with the lease but she stands her ground, making sure he knows he isn't going to get his hands on the cafe just because he's got his hands on Alma!

Martin's friend, Nick, is carpool chauffeur because the gang at the hospital is taking Martin out after work for a drink to celebrate his new job which starts Monday. Martin is warned by Gail not to get drunk because they have Des's party and she's really looking forward to going. Martin arrives home later on both feet and steady but Gail informs him that they've had their babysitter back out. Nick is recruited to pinch-hit.

Alec is perusing a recipe book, contemplating such delectables as Cajun Chicken Breasts and something with a French sauce on it. Betty suspiciously wonders what he's doing and a sour look spreads over her face when she realizes Alec plans to increase the variety in the menu. She doesn't have time to cook for the demand they have now but is stunned when it is revealed that Alec plans to serve meals at night. He is going to have trouble finding a cook because Berry will not be persuaded, no indeed! She works hard enough at her time of life! Alec keeps on at her through the day but it's no use.

Sally is teasing Mavis about getting in videos of the Chippendale dancers only Mavis has got the wrong end of the stick and has them confused with some sort of small animal act (i think) called Chippenfields or something like that, i couldn't quite make it out. Sally laughs and says it's the same kind of act only less fur. When Jack tells Mavis that the Chippendales are male strippers, Mavis goes beet red with embarrassment, as much from the very idea as from feeling foolish. The customers leave and Rita tells Mavis she's going to the cash and carry. But Mavis offers to go for her, as she'll have to get used to it so Rita reveals that it was just an excuse. Rita snaps her head around so fast that i thought her Red Wig was going to go in the opposite direction as she nearly takes Mavis's head off and tells Mavis that she's going for a walk or a drive, anything to get out of there. Poor Mavis is left bewildered.

Rackle gives Audrey and Reg instructions while they are all three sat in a booth in the pub. They must supervise the setting up of the house for the party but Audrey, dimwit that she is, keeps confusing things and the decibel level of the conversation goes up and up. Alec hollers to keep their voices down and he has to shout again before they realize that Des is just coming through the door. I thought Des clocked the secret when he sees them all suddenly become quiet and Jack wishes him Happy Birthday, nearly giving it away. But i'm wrong... stay tuned.

Rita ends up at Ted's front door. Stunned and not daring to hope, he lets her in. She tells him she's come to a decision. Over a cup of tea she smiles and tells him it's ok, she still loves him and will marry him. They'll spend together whatever time he has left. He's over the moon but she has a condition. She realizes that he's a dying man who wants to spend his last days in paradise but he's not thought it through. She refuses to go to Florida, explaining that she doesn't want to be widowed in a foreign country. She needs to be where it's familiar with her friends around her. Ted understands, when she puts it that way. Who he's with is much more important than where he is. They go back to her flat for the night. Rita has another big decision and hurdle to cross, what to do with the Kabin and how to tell Mavis and Derek!

Liz makes Jim promise to keep a cool head if Alec is at the party and she even bets him a fiver if it will help! She takes Jim into the pub before the party to make it up with Alec and the two men shake hands while Liz plays peacekeeper (she's even wearing Canadian Red in honour of it!)

Raquel is taking Des out to a nice Italian restaurant to make up for not having a present but Des starts feeling guilty that she's spending money she doesn't have on him and tries to get out of it. Raquel insists the table's already booked and orders him to get his coat on so they can have a quick drink at the Rovers. If he didn't twig before, he does now when she slips and says they'll be late! For the Rovers??? Well, she tries to cover, Kevin and Sally said they might pop in for a quick drink. She can't see Des's face but we can and it's quite evident he knows summat's up now. In the pub, Jack and Jim mention the party and Alec isn't quite in time to head them off when Des comes in behind him, looking like the cat who's swallowed the canary, evidently overhearing but not letting on.

Meanwhile Sargent Major Roberts is shouting orders at her little band of furniture shifters and makeshift caterers. Phyllis objects to Audrey taking charge when she and Rackle did most of the rest of the work all day but is summarily dismissed and sent to telephone guests. Raquel's used a spilled drink (i assume) as the excuse to pop home and change her dress before they go in order to get Des back to the house. Jim, Liz and Alec lurk 6 feet behind as they follow the couple across the road (SO subtle!). Des only looks halfway surprised but his face is lit up with a pleased grin just the same at the surprise, birthday kisses and best wishes that greet him. The music starts and the party begins.

Next door, Sarah Lou comes downstairs to get Nick. David is in desperate need of a nappie change (must have been if the smell woke up the little one!) She tries to charm Nick into letting her stay up and watch telly (hands up how many of you tried that on a babysitter! I thought so! Remember the thrill of getting to watch adult tv which was dead boring but you wouldn't admit it if your life depended on it!)

There is dancing, drinking and laughing. Kevin hears the doorbell and goes to let in what he thinks is another party guest. Only it's not the kind of guest that was expected. It's Simon, the bloke Steph buggered off with and he's angry. Kevin fetches Des who takes defensive abuse from Simon who reveals that Steph has left him, telling him that Des is in crisis and needs her. Only of course she's not there and the last time Des saw his wife, she was off with Simon so push off! Raquel watches from the door, a cloud of dread lowering. She isn't reassured when Des comes back inside, kissing her on the cheek as he passes by.

Diane Johnston

Simon Beatty PETER GOWEN Nick Norbury MARK HALLETT
Written by PAUL ABBOT Directed by STEPHEN BUTCHER

Friday (3376, Monday 27 April 1992)

After spending the night together at Ted's place, Rita rethinks her decision to give up Florida in favour of staying on in Weatherfield. He reminds her that this is where their friends are and that they are going to need all the friends they can get. She wonders if they'll have many friends left once she tells Mavis and Derek she has changed her mind about selling the Kabin. Tentatively, she asks if he would mind terribly if she told Mavis the reason? Ted explains that being with Rita just about allows him to forget that he is ill - but if others knew, he'd see it in their eyes every time he met them. He doesn't want to be constantly reminded of it, can she understand that? Of course she can!

Gail cautions Martin not to be late for his first day of classes but he is brimming with confidence as he tells her they wouldn't dare start without their star pupil!

Des is rushing out the door as Phyllis arrives for her housekeeping duties. Raquel comes downstairs in her robe just as he's off and is disappointed that he didn't wait to scrub her back for her. Phyllis remarks that she would expect him to be more attentive after the surprise party Raquel threw for him the night before. Raquel explains that he's been distracted since he found out that Steph has walked out on her boyfriend. They agree that Des still isn't over her. Phyllis offers a word of encouragement saying it will take time but that she should keep up the attentiveness. She also offers the suggestion that Raquel should cook "something romantic" for him. Raquel pleads that she is a hopeless cook but Phyllis says in that case it will be even more of a surprise!

In his class, Martin is mistaken for the teacher by the only other male student, Tony Stephenson. He jokes about feeling older but a woman who is standing nearby points out, it isn't his age but the fact that he is male. Tony whispers to Martin to ignore "the old misery guts", but immediately feels very embarrassed when the woman turns to introduce herself to the class. "My name is Chris Jones and I'll be your instructor this term."

Rita arrives at the Kabin a bit late and apologises to Mavis for keeping her waiting. Mavis understands, she probably had visions of white sandy beaches and palm trees in her head. "Something like that", Rita demures. She informs Mavis that Ted will be taking over for the lunch hour so that she and Mavis can go to the Rovers for lunch together. Thrilled at the idea, Mavis enthuses that she's never had a business lunch before.

Raquel comes in looking for advice on something "sensual" to eat and Mavis warns her not to try any root vegetables. The one she tried worked a little "too well" and its effects were "unpredictable", she advises. Intrigued, Raquel thinks whatever it is might just fit the bill but Mavis says she thinks root vegetables are probably out of season now anyway. She advises trying oysters but Raquel turns up her nose saying that seafood gives her hives. As she leaves the shop, Mavis observes that Rita must be very distracted as she passed up a good opportunity to tease her just then.

Miss Jones, the nursing instructor, tells her class that nursing centers on personal dynamics and effective communications. To demonstrate this, she has them pair off and introduce themselves to one another. In turn, each student will then introduce his or her partner to the class, saying two things about them. Martin and Tony are sitting together so Tony begins by saying that he was a lab assistant in hematology but working with numbers and graphs became very boring to him. When it's Martinís turn, he feels a bit inadequate stating what he's been doing - mainly looking after his children with a little portering on the side.

For the second part of the exercise, Miss Jones introduces the first student, Clare, who holds a degree in languages and worked as a volunteer in the Sudan for a year, which is where she became interested in health. Next, Tony introduces Martin with as much gusto as he can muster. Martin is feeling less confident than ever as he hears his life's achievements summed up: "This is Martin. He used to be a porter. He has three kids and he spends a lot of time with them!"

Paula and Andy are walking to their next class together when Mrs. Jeffers, the head teacher, stops them to ask to see Paula in her office after school. With Mrs. Jeffers gone, Andy asks what it's about. In the dark as much as he, she jokes that the head teacher probably wants her help engineering the new curriculum.

As Rita and Mavis begin their lunch in the Rovers, Derek bursts in with some "good news" that he's dying to share. Told by Mavis that she and Rita are having a "business lunch", Derek takes himself off in a sulk saying he hopes they can "find a window" for him. At the bar, Alec asks Derek if he might be interested in a cooking stint. Derek hardly thinks so, not with all the prospects he has pending. Percy overhears and lets Alec know that he would be available. "When you've prepared Spotted Dick and custard for 150 of 'em under artillery fire and not allowed one lump in that custard, you can do anything!" Alec smiles politely as he backs away from the pensioner, not quite knowing how to extricate himself. Percy calls after the retreating landlord that he can ask Mrs. Bishop - she has done "marvelously well" on his cuisine!

Emily steps up to another section of the bar just then but before she can order a drink, Raquel asks if she'll be having tomato juice. Slightly annoyed at the presumption, Emily hesitates for a few seconds before agreeing to the drink. As Raquel pours it, she asks if Percy ever cooks anything "romantic" - anything that causes Emily to "feel exhilarated"? Affronted by the question, Emily says nothing but takes her drink off to another part of the pub. Confused, Raquel wonders what she said. Betty snappishly informs her, "I think Percy's cooking was invented to stop folk getting ideas!"

At their table, Rita tells Mavis that she doesn't wish to drag out the reason for their meeting. Cutting straight to the point, she tells her assistant that she and Ted have decided not to go to Florida after all. Mavis says that the decision is Rita's privilege but asks if this means she won't be selling the Kabin after all. Rita quietly affirms that is the case and Mavis' face registers her shock but she says she understands. It is Rita's business after all and she can do what she likes. Rita thanks her for her understanding just as Derek arrives back at their table with a tray of drinks for all of them, "to celebrate the future". He announces jubilantly that the prospective buyers will be ready to move into their house a few weeks hence. Mavis looks up in horror and Rita quietly asks if she wants her to tell Derek the news. In rising anger, Mavis replies, "Yes, I think you *should* tell him. After all, it is *your* decision, your majesty! It's up to you what happens to Derek and me. We're only your playthings to be picked up and put down again as it amuses you! Well you can find another *plaything*, Rita Fairclough - because as from now, neither Derek or I will ever set foot in your shop again!" Verging on hysteria, Mavis leaves the pub abruptly, Derek meekly calling after her as she goes.

At home together, Derek has called the buyers and put them off until later in the week. "Rita might change her mind again", he says hopefully. Mavis is still very angry at Rita. "Oh yes, Rita can do whatever she wants!" Derek tries to calm her down by pointing out that Rita has had some bitter experiences. "What if she'd gone off to Florida with that Alan Bradley?" Anyway, they can always buy another news agent's shop. Failing that, he has already had one excellent job offer - another one is bound to turn up soon! Mavis is beyond consolation. "Nothing will turn up - nothing! Weíre just like two children waiting to see if the grownups will give us a present. We have no control over our own destiny!"

At then end of their first day of school, Tony tells Martin he's glad his days of washing test tubes are over. Off to the pub with some of the other students, he invites Martin along but Martin says he'd better get home as he has to pick up the kids. As the others go off, the instructor comments to Martin that the class seems like "a pretty impressive bunch". He nods his agreement but it's clear that he doesn't regard himself as very "impressive". Miss Jones sees his self doubt and offers that it will be a "challenging" year for them all.

Don turns up at the Kabin just as Ted is bringing in the sidewalk sign. Seeing they are closing, Don offers to come back tomorrow but Ted says he can fetch whatever it is Don needs and they'll settle up tomorrow. Derek bustles over and starts shouting at Ted for upsetting Mavis, so Don quietly removes himself saying he'll go to Alf's instead. Derek continues his tirade, accusing Ted of manipulating Rita for his own ends. Ted interrupts to inform Derek that Rita is the one who decided to stay but Derek refuses to listen. "Rita can't make up her mind from one minute to the next!" he shouts. Pausing for effect, he adds, "Rita Fairclough is no judge of men - but Derek Wilton *is* and I'll be watching you!"

Des arrives home to find Raquel "full of Eastern promise". She is dressed in a tight silk Chinese frock with her hair all done up and secured with what appear to be chopsticks. She's sent out for "Peking Banquet" as the alternative would have been popping a pizza in the oven. He says that's all he's used to anyway but she protests that he needs to be "cherished" and she is here to "cherish him". "Then cherish away!" he responds happily. Their meal is interrupted almost before it begins when Steph turns up at the door with her luggage. Raquel is thoroughly annoyed at this development but Des is over the moon to see her and asks her to join them at the table.

Martin confides to Gail that he feels very much out of his league being at school. She offers encouragement, telling him he may be "only" a dad but not everyone can be a dad like him. Anyway, the course wouldn't be worth doing if he was at the top of the class, would it? He doesn't know how he even managed to get accepted - "probably a computer mistake". Gail wisely points out that nursing isn't about books, it's about dealing with people. And how many of his classmates have been in the position where they are responsible for another person's life like you have? His spirits starting to lift, Martin sees her point.

Ted tells Rita about his encounter with Derek. He almost felt like telling him the truth, he confesses. She knows the temptation from when she was dealing with Mavis, Rita says. If only there was some way of telling them something - without disclosing all of it. But of course there isn't and they both know that. Sadly, Rita remarks that her whole reason for wanting to stay in Weatherfield was so that she would have her friends around her and now, she seems to have lost her best friend. They agree that they are going to have to be very good to each other in order to get through the time ahead.

After a strained dinner, Steph offers to do the washing up. Des joins her at the kitchen sink and when Raquel follows, he tells her to go and relax, she deserves it after preparing a meal like that. She ignores him and turns to address Steph. "If you think you can just come waltzing back in..." Steph protests that she isn't "waltzing back" - she just wants to sleep on the sofa for a couple of nights. If it's a problem, she can go elsewhere, she offers. Raquel cracks that it looks to her like Steph is planning to move back in and raise a family from the amount of luggage she brought! Des interjects to assure Steph that it isn't a problem and he won't hear of her sleeping on the sofa. "No, that's right", Raquel agrees. "You can take my room since Des and I share a bed now!" Having made her point, she feigns a smile and takes herself upstairs, promising Des that she'll wait up for him.

With Raquel out of hearing, Des tells Steph that it's good to have her back. "You haven't 'got me back', Des. I'm just in a spot of trouble right now and in need of a place to stay." Not in the least put off, Des answers with a smile, "One man's trouble is another man's dream come true!"

Anita Belanger

Chris Jones: CHRISTINE MACKIE Tony Stephenson: JASON YATES
Written by FRANK COTTRELL BOYCE Directed by BRIAN MILLS


Originally transmitted: 29 April; 1, 4, 6 & 8 May 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 20 - Friday 24 September 1999
Episode Numbers: 3377 - 3381

Monday (3377, Wednesday 29 April 1992)

Des finds Raquel in the kitchen and remarks on how early she's up. The clock says 8:30 and i personally am at my desk at work an hour by that time and nearly ready for a tea break but who am i to judge! :) Seems Steph has already commandeered the bathroom. Raquel wants to know how long Steph is staying and why she's there. Des promises to find out but seems to feel torn. He tries to reassure Raquel but doesn't seem very sincere to me. You can tell he still feels a connection and an obligation to his wife and Raquel can see that quite obviously. She's not saying much just yet though, too unsure of her positions. She decides to make breakfast since she's up anyway and has a peer through the blinds into the back garden and sees....

Mavis, still dressed in her robe and sitting at the little table in her lovely garden, listlessly sipping her cup of tea and looking like the weight of the world is on her shoulders. Derek emerges tentatively. She reminds him to call the estate agent and cancel the sale of the house. He is concerned for her state of mind and tries to look on the bright side. Dwelling on their misfortunes isn't going to help. He'll see if that job at Hewitt's is still available. It doesn't seem to matter what he says, Mavis's dreams have come crashing down around her ears at the hands of "that duplicitous woman" and will not hear of any positive thinking and never wants to see Rita again! I can hardly blame her really, i'd be devastated in the wake of Rita's decision too. Derek gently persuades her that selling the house and moving away will not help matters. They will face the future together. Mavis isn't so sure.

Over at the other end of the row, the PlattiDudes are getting ready for another day. Bills and expenses seem to dominate the conversation. Sarah Lou needs new shoes and Martin will need textbooks. He tells Gail he's feeling a bit better about himself in comparison with all the brainy fellow students, after all he's got the personality, right? But after Gail gets off to work he sits down and takes a deep breath. I think he still feels a bit overwhelmed and humbled but when he's on his way down the street, his ego gets a propping up from Deirdre who is very encouraging about his aptitude for nursing.

Steph comes down in full dress and warpaint and is very humble, grateful and eager to be no trouble. Raquel is cool as ice to her. Steph's well aware of the conflict she's caused between Des and Raquel but has no place to go. (what about her father?) She'll sort herself out in a few days, not to worry and in the meantime will try to stay out of their way. Steph's face shows that she knows exactly how Raquel is feeling, probably would be the same if the stilettos were on the other foot. Raquel leaves the kitchen to get cleaned up and overhears Des minimizing their relationship to Steph. A bit of fun is all it is. Des tells Steph about Simon's visit so she tells Des that Simon was extremely jealous and overprotective and she had to get away from him. Des scolds her for not coming to him sooner, assuring her he wouldn't have turned her away. He makes sure she knows she can treat his house like home for a long as she needs.

Raquel later re-enters fully dressed and shod. There's a few more awkward words about jobs and such and Steph again tries to reassure Raquel she won't outstay her welcome no matter how she tries to convince Steph that she and Des are a happy couple, well settled, they both know Raquel is walking on eggshells . Not an easy thing to do successfully in them heels! Raquel meets Phyllis at the door and tells her they've got a visitor. Phyllis's face lights up with shock when she sees Steph.

Poor Mike and Alma aren't getting quite the reaction they hoped for from their friends. Just as Deirdre enters the shop after chatting to Martin, she encounters Mike who's just coming out. She congratulates him but isn't overly effusive about it. He earnestly wants her honest opinion, it means a lot to him but all she can really say is "It's not what i think that matters, it's what the pair of you make it!" Later in the pub that night when she buys a drink for Alma she offers equal congratulations. Alma reveals that she knows about Deirdre's affair with Mike but Deirdre points out that was just a fling, Alma's the one actually marrying Mike so hopes she knows what she's doing! Talk about a reality check!

Ted is helping Rita out in the Kabin. They discuss again whether Rita should tell Mavis the truth but that's quickly decided against. Rita decides she should try to talk to Mavis, offer her Supreme Executive Power in the Kabin (manager). That will release Rita from the daily duties at the shop to spend her time with Ted. Ted thinks it's a good idea and offers to tell Mavis himself. But after what happened between him and Derek yesterday, Rita decides she had best do it herself at dinnertime. Several customers ask after Mavis but are only told that she's got the day off.

Suspicion spreads when Don mentions to several punters that he overheard the argument between Derek and Ted and thinks there's something going on. Raquel has a face like a wet weekend and a temperament to match in the pub. She tells Betty that Steph turned up and doesn't know where that leaves her. Betty and later Phyllis both have opportunity to pass the latest gossip around. Don and Curly chat about home ownership and mortgages. Curly still wants to buy the house.

When Rita is on her way to Mavis's, Curly stops her in the street and convinces her he'll meet the asking price of 30,000. He gets her verbal agreement to give him first refusal so he's satisfied with that. She goes to the door of the Wilton Hilton but can't get past the guard (Derek) who fends her every attempt at peace making with bitter words and accusations. Mavis can hear from inside but stays out of sight. Later Mavis philosophizes about the brief memory of birds as she gazes at Harry's cage. If they don't have any memory, they won't have their little hearts broken will they? Mavis both wonder what Rita wanted but Derek is sure that Rita won't have changed her mind in any case and doesn't think Mavis ought to have anything to do with Rita. He tries to distract her with suggestions of chores in the garden or bathing Harry but Mavis is simply inconsolable and ends up in tears again.

Andy and Paula make plans to go to a picture show that evening but later on just before Andy is picking Paula up to walk home, Mrs. Head takes her aside for another quiet word. Her grades are low and given that Paula was regarded as a star pupil, this is becoming worrying. She is risking her university qualifications at this rate. Gently, Mrs. Head points out that Paula's increasing social life is probably to blame. Paula is torn ... she realizes the truth of it but has finally found a life outside the scholastic endeavors. When Andy comes in, she tells him she can't leave and will call him tonight. Nose back to the grindstone.

Steph buys several bags of groceries and plans to make tea for the three of them but Raquel is going to work. Des decides to stay in rather than go to the pub as Steph is hesitant about facing all her former neighbours.

After the pub closes, Raquel comes home to find Steph and Des drinking wine and laughing over some memories from the early days of their marriage. She declines to join them, shattered, and announces she's going to bed, is Des coming? He declines to join her just then, fancying another drink. Raquel says nothing but spins on her heel and petulantly stalks up the stairs. No i shouldn't say "petulantly", there's nothing childish about it. She's shocked, devastated and scared to death that she's going to lose Des, whom she has come to love and under the impression that the Gay Cavalier doesn't return her feelings with the same intensity and indeed would probably take his wife back if she as much as crooked her little finger.

Diane Johnston

Mrs. Jeffers ROMY BASKERVILLE
Written by KEN BLAKESON Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Tuesday (3378, Friday 1 May 1992)

A number of small subplots surfaced or developed today. The most significant of these was the friction between Andy and Paula, who bicker at the Cafe about Paula's choosing to study the previous evening instead of going to the pictures with Andy. He sniffs about her wanting to get into Oxford and she replies hotly that she never said she wanted to attend Oxford, but at the rate she's going, she's not going to get accepted anywhere at all! With that, she leaves the Sultan of Sulk to his video gambling and storms out.

Sailing on the seas of love is much smoother for the other MacDonald brother. Vickie is all ready to return to college, but when Alec prepares to drive her to the station, she begs off, saying she would rather take a taxi. When Alec insists, so does she, handing her grandfather a load of codswollop about how she'd get all weepy at the station, teary about leaving her beloved grampie, and she would be just mortified to have her mates see that! This plays to Alec's affection for her as well as his vanity, and he concurs that he would be shattered, too, and agrees to arrange a cab. Of course the real reason Vickie wants a cab, as anyone who has ever been 15 could tell you, was so that Steve could meet her at the station and they could have a proper, heart-wrenching, romantic, anguished teenage goodbye. Well, it wasn't as romantic as all that, both of them being *such* teenagers, but there were some awkward sentiment about it being forever to be apart ("78 days," Vickie declares somberly) and missing each other, and it all culminated in some snogging in front of Vickie's mates (to her obvious pleasure).

In a funny little scene at the Cafe, Deirdre apologizes to Alma if she offered unwanted advice about Mike Baldwin the previous evening. She and Alma agree amiably that neither has ever been very good at giving advice or taking it. Deirdre comments that she didn't realize Alma knew about Dreary and Mike's affair. Was Alma shocked, Deirdre wondered? Come on, Alma replies - at their age, when you get involved with someone, "you expect to find a few toothbrushes in the bathroom." "Mind you," she goes on, "I seem to have quite a collection of yours now!" Fortunately, Deirdre sees the humour and they share a good laugh.

Betty runs into Liz in Bettabuys and takes the opportunity to moan about how Alec wanted her to cook evening meals as well as daytime. She says she isn't up for that at her age, but suddenly wonders if Liz might be interested? Liz says that she isn't getting that much work at the Legion, and could use the extra money. Now that things are fairly patched up between Jim and Alec, perhaps we'll see La Mouton back behind the bar at The Rovers.

Rita's day begins with Audrey stopping by the shop to purchase something and jokingly warn Ted that being married to a shopkeeper is being married to a tyrant! Rita is still pretending that Mavis is just taking some time off, but when Audrey leaves she asks Ted again if she please can't tell just Mavis why she reneged on the sale of the shop. Ted is adamant - first Mavis, then Derek, and then everyone will know, and that's what they don't want! However, he does hope that Rita can manage to somehow patch things up with Mavis and get her back behind the counter because he doesn't fancy being married to the shop! (This, after he effectively tied Rita's hands in the peacemaking process! Oh well, I think he's been a bit selfish about the whole thing but hardly blame him.)

At lunchtime Rita goes to see a deeply unhappy Mavis. Rita notes how long Mavis has known her - much longer than Derek - and asks if Mavis really believes she'd back out of the shop sale just because she didn't give two hoots about them? Can't Mavis accept that Rita must have a reason for doing what she did - and it was a darned good one? "I suppose," concedes Mavis, but what is it? Rita firmly says that if she could have told Mavis she would - but she can't. She does, however, offer to let Mavis take over the shop as Manager, with free reign. This way Mavis isn't working for the bank but she still has autonomy. Rita wouldn't be there, she says - she wouldn't be in Florida, but she wouldn't be in the shop. "You're being so mysterious!" says Mavis. Never mind that, Reet says - is Mavis listening to the offer?

Derek, meanwhile, has bumped into Curly in Bettabuys. He asks Curly how all this business will affect him. What business? queries Curly. Curly is astonished when Derek informs him that Rita is not moving to Florida after all. Derek is astonished that Rita as recently as yesterday told Curly the house sale was still under consideration! "What is that woman thinking?" sputters Derek before roaring home to vent to Mavis. On his arrival there he is none too happy to find Rita. He demands to know why Reet is still selling her house to Curly when "us, you renege on!" Mavis tries to explain to Dirk that Rita has offered her the Management of the shop but Derek is offended and tells Rita that he doesn't want Mavis "slogging her guts out" (oh my! I thought that expression was unique to my father!!) running Rita's business! Mavis says that she has a say in this as well but Derek is well and truly on a roll now, telling Rita that she can "tell your fancy man that he's not going to live in idleness on the sweat of my wife's sweat and toil"! Rita says she's leaving before Derek says something she can't forgive him for. She adds before leaving that her offer is still open to Mavis and adds "Derek, I know you've been dealt some funny cards lately, but you're not the only one!"

Later Derek and Mavis argue a bit about Rita's offer. Mavis insists they must now move forward, not back, but Derek feels used and abused. Finally Mavis says she refuses to talk about it further, saying the alternative is for both of them to be out of work with no money coming in, and she can't stand that! Standing up for herself for once, she goes to see Rita and Ted at the Rovers and accepts Rita's offer, although her anguish when she admits to Rita that Derek will not be joining them for a celebratory drink is evident. "Oh, Rita," says Mavis. "Oh, Mavis," sypathises Rita.

The Street potboiler right now is of course the Raquel/Des/Steph triangle, and if anyone can explain to me how this scoundrel has managed to play this out for two days I'd like to hear it. Raquel is clearly deeply angry at Des as the day begins, although like a naughty child he keeps pretending that nothing is wrong and he can't fathom the reason for her coldness and monosyllabic replies. Phyllis comes by later and commiserates with Raquel. Raquel confides to Phyllis that she is leaving, and Phyllis tries to convince her to stand her ground.

Later in the day Simon comes by the house and finds Des at home. Des refuses to let him in and Simon begins shouting Steph's name louder and louder until Des lets him in, only to discover that Steph isn't in after all. Des is clearly playing with Simon although he refuses to discuss the situation with him. That evening Steph returns to the house and Des asks where she's been. "What sort of a question is that?" she inquires. She tells him she was just out, with Jackie. "Jackie - is that a him or a her?" asks Des in a truly pathetic show. "Jackie from work," is all Steph will say. Des tells her that Simon has been by and Steph muses that she never should have gotten involved with him, just as Des should have never gotten involved with her, as they are both bad sorts. She apologizes for coming back to the house, saying she didn't know he'd gotten involved with someone else. Des says that he is not asking her to leave, to which Steph merely replies, "thanks", and trots off up the stairs.

Des then pops over to the Rovers where the degree of his density is made apparent by the fact that he wants to cheerfully gossip with Raquel about Simon coming by looking for Steph! "I suppose he's movin' in an' all," Raquel deadpans sarcastically. Des finally sees how upset he is and admits that he doesn't know what he's doing. "That's flippin' obvious!" declares Raquel. She tells Des that he has two women in that house and the ration's one! He'd better make his mind up or she'll make it up for him! As Alec calls time, she hisses in his ear, "Hear that? It's Time. Time!"

ronniecat

Simon Beatty: PETER GOWAN
Written by JULIAN ROCHE Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Wednesday (3379, Monday 4 May 1992)

It's a Bank Holiday on the street, but many have to work anyway, including Mavis. As she prepares to leave the house, Derek is the very picture of doom and gloom, berating Mavis for returning to work for a woman who made a promise and then broke it. He reminds Mavis that he turned down a good job on the basis of Rita's promise, and he can't understand why anyone would go "crawling back" under the circumstances. An indignant Mavis informs him that she's "crawling back" because someone needs to be the bread-winner. Needless to say, this quip does nothing to elevate Derek's mood.

At the MacDonald residence, Liz has time to prepare scrambled eggs for a change, and is looking forward to a leisurely day with Jim. She's disappointed to learn that he's planning to open the bike-shop because they too need the money. Jim and Steve both crack wise about Andy's apparently dour mood, but Andy refuses to say why he's down in the dumps.

Vera asks Jack where he's planning to take her on their day off, but Jack's only plans were to stop home and enjoy a rest. Vera's all ready for a day in the park, and as it turns out, Jack could be persuaded in that direction too -- but he's more inclined to the sort of park that features a race track. Vera rants about his penchant for gambling, and Jack counters by reminding her of her love for bingo, which is also a form of gambling. He even remarks that horse racing is the sport of royalty, whereas you'd never find the Queen at a bingo parlour. Vera's comedic response is that the Queen is known to love bingo, but would never play because if she ever won, everyone would think the game was fixed!

Raquel and Des continue with their cold war over Steph's presence, and this morning Raquel makes no bones about her wishes -- either Steph goes, or she'll go. Des rushes off to work without resolving the issue, so when Steph comes downstairs, Raquel rounds on her, telling her that she'll have to leave. Steph, however, is not about to take direction from Raquel, and informs her that she'll leave when Des asks her to go.

It's business as usual at the Kabin, but during a lull Rita once again assures Mavis that she has a very good reason for changing her mind about selling. She admits that she feels terrible that Derek turned down a good job and reminds Mavis that in her new role of shop manageress, she'll need an assistant, and suggests that Mavis hire Derek for the position. Undoubtedly remembering the many problems Derek created while Rita was in Florida, Mavis surprises Rita by saying that she'll have to "think about it."

Bet is due back today from her vacation in Tenerife, so Alec turns on the charm in order to get Betty to do some cleaning. Raquel, meanwhile, has a face like a wet weekend, and when asked what the problem is, confides to Betty that she can't handle having Steph living with her and Des. She feels humiliated and has decided that she won't spend another night under the same roof if Steph remains.

Andy rings Paula's doorbell and asks her to spend the day with him, but she refuses on the grounds that she's revising. Andy tries to convince her that that's all she's been doing lately, and Paula asks him to keep his voice down because Ken Barlow is there too, helping her with her studies. When Andy makes light of her seriousness, Paula gives him the push and closes the door in his face.

Jack has obviously talked Vera into spending a day at the racetrack with him, but they don't get farther than the car on the street, where an argument ensues over who will drive. Jack wants to drive to the track, claiming that Vera will hate trying to park the car, but Vera sees this as a ploy to get her to drive them home, thus making her the designated driver. Jack gives up in disgust and seeing Don on the street, asks him if he'd like to go with him instead, but Don is already committed to some chores at home. At that point, Vera sees Lisa approaching, and when it becomes clear that Lisa is upset about something, Vera takes her inside for a chat. Lisa confesses that Terry is in prison, on remand for grievous bodily harm over an incident that happened at the club. Jack isn't surprised that his son is in trouble again, and Vera berates him for never having anything good to say about Terry. Vera offers Lisa a meal, but she can't stop. She wants to visit Terry, so Vera offers to drive her to the prison instead. When asked if he has a message for his son, Jack can only offer that Terry should "keep his chin up."

Alf and Derek are discussing Rita's abrupt change of plans when Bet arrives back at the pub, looking tanned and relaxed. Betty tells her that Alec has been pining for her, but it's clear after a quick glimpse around that Bet is concerned about Raquel. Alec, meanwhile, is anxious to show Bet the new kitchen.

Vera and Lisa arrive at the prison, a stark and depressing building. Vera stands outside for a moment, looking the building over with obvious sadness.

Bet peruses the new kitchen and admits that she's quite impressed, but instead of dwelling on the fixtures and fittings, she wants to know from Alec what's going on with Raquel. Alec dismisses the problem as one of the usual inane barmaid concerns -- she wants a new frock, or something along those lines. Changing the subject back to what is most urgent on Alec's mind, he tells Bet of his plans to serve food in the evening, but Bet puts her foot immediately and tells him that she won't slave over a hot stove after Betty's done her usual daytime cooking.

Vera and Lisa arrive back from the prison, and while Jack makes tea, Vera describes how horrible the place was, and how innocent Terry is in this situation. According to Terry, he was merely doing his job in evicting a punter who was causing trouble, but the fellow laid in wait for Terry after closing time, and set upon him. The police were called, and Terry was arrested for trying to defend himself. Lisa begs off, as it's getting late, but Vera points out that it's silly for her to go all the way back home, only to return the following day to visit Terry. She suggests that Lisa move into Terry's vacant bedroom, and Lisa accepts.

Bet is showing Alec her snaps of Tenerife when Raquel sticks her head around the door to bid them goodnight. Bet invites her into the living room for a cup of tea while Alec makes himself scarce, and Bet immediately cuts to the chase by telling Raquel that Betty has already told her of the problems she's encountering with Steph. She understands Raquel's conundrum, and tells her that there's a room upstairs that she can have. Raquel is obviously relieved by the offer but Bet counters by saying that she's only doing it for their customers.

Mavis arrives home and is upset to find that Derek hasn't even done the breakfast dishes. Derek is still in a shirty mood, and informs Mavis that while he doesn't mind doing his share of house work, he won't be turned into a house husband. Mavis informs Derek that Rita will stop working at the Kabin on Friday, so as of then she'll be the new manageress. On hearing this, Derek insists that Mavis should demand an assistant, but Mavis doesn't do as Rita suggested and offer the position to Derek.

Steph and Raquel are at it again, and Raquel makes it clear that she's going to tell Des that either Steph goes or she'll leave. Des arrives in the midst of this, but when Raquel demands to know when Steph will be asked to leave, she gets no response. "Right," she says, and heads upstairs while Des opens a bottle of wine.

Back at the Rover's Return, Betty tells Bet that she won't be talked into cooking food in the evenings, and Bet agrees with her, saying that if Alec wants to serve food outside of their regular mealtimes, he'll have to find someone else.

Raquel comes down the stairs with her packed bags. She makes it clear that since Des won't ask Steph to leave, she's leaving. Des makes a feeble attempt to stop her, but he's been given an ultimatum and won't do the one thing that will keep Raquel under his roof. As Raquel walks across the street toward the Rover's Return, Des heads back into the house for a glass of wine with Steph.

Heather Morlan

Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by JULIAN JARROLD

Thursday (3380, Wednesday 6 May 1992)

Des has fixed coffee for two. He and Steph have both slept badly (and yes, alone) but Des denies it's anything to do with Raquel. But when Steph spies Raquel crossing the cobbles heading towards the house, Captain Coward high-tails it upstairs, unable to cope. Raquel explains that she forgot something. Steph lies for him, telling Raquel he's already gone to work but Raquel notices two coffee cups. Steph snidely remarks that they both expected Raquel which is why Des went off to work early, (walking which explains why the car was still outside). Steph, cool as a cucumber, points to the walkman on the coffee table and snidely remarks she'd have done the same thing after a fight, left something as an excuse to get back in. (And back in she got, she must have used her key because there was no knock on the door and Steph only got to the inside door when Raquel walked through.) Steph bitchily cuts right to the heart of the visit, she wants to know whether they slept together, right? Raquel avoids confirming it but the curiosity reflects in her gaze. She sets her jaw and turns to leave but decides to ask anyway, all pride gone now. Steph denies that she and Des slept together. Raquel leaves silently, sure that Steph is lying. Des slinks back downstairs, nearly tripping on the tail between his legs (oy! Keep it decent, you in the back!) He offers to cook a nice meal for her to show there's no hard feelings over their past so she agrees.

Mavis is all thumbs in the Kabin, magazines sliding to the floor. Rita attributes it to nerves and emphasizes Mavis's responsibility to keep Rita's business in good fettle and that includes hiring an assistant. Yes, Yes, Mavis has got the message. But she explains that Derek is holding it against Rita for offering the manager job to her and not him nor offering any position to him at all! Rita is flabbergasted, after all, Mavis is the one been working there donkey's years! Rita assures Mavis it's nothing against Derek personally and as manager, it's up to Mavis to hire Derek if she wants to. Mavis then reveals the real reason behind her hesitancy. Derek being cheerful in the Kabin is enough to cope with, Derek with a Hump is unBEARable! (LOL!)

The Hump and Audrey bump into each other, literally, at the corner. Derek is on his way to the job center and not happy about it. He lays all the blame on Rita's spiteful shoulders for not offering him a job too. Audrey is confused. Surely that's a manager's job, hiring. Slowly Derek realizes the blame lies at the feet of his own wife! Oh the betrayal!

Derek stews for awhile and comes charging in the Kabin, raving at Mavis for not offering him the job. The Humiliation! His verbal attack on Mavis doesn't quite have the effect he expected. "You're monstrous, Mavis, monstrous!" (Mavis's lips purse tightly, her eyes snap and her hackles rise!) "Here I am left bereft! Desolate, (he waves his hands around dramatically) I can't think of a suitable word..." Mavis sets her shoulders and eyes him in contempt and spits out..."I can.....Unemployed!" (Zzzzzing!!!!!!! Go Girl!!)

At Bettabuys, Ivy finds Vera stacking shelves, her long, sad face punctuated with mascara smudges. Ivy helps her clean up and offers consolation. Jack's told Don what has happened with Terry. Vera's embarrassed but Ivy promises that she and Don won't broadcast the gossip, knowing Vera won't wall all and sundry knowing her shame.

But in the pub, Jack has an equally long face, supposedly near to tears and sick with worry. He tells Betty and Alec about Terry being on remand and how he should be visiting his only son in his time of need. Betty swallows it hook, line and sinker and threatens to leave and never come back if Alec doesn't let Jack have the afternoon off to visit Terry. Alec reluctantly relents but his face is a picture of suspicion.

Later in the afternoon, he voices his suspicions to Bet who defends Jack as she also believes Jack's story. She broaches the subject of the evening cook and tells him Liz might be interested if he plays his cards politely. Initially Alec resists but when reminded of how much money Jim has supped in the Legion lately, he relents. As always, with Alec, greed wins out.

Rita returns from her dinner break to find Mavis still fuming at the spot Derek's put her in. She tells Rita he was in there seething and fuming and blaming everyone. He's probably back at home on the settee, drinking whiskey with Pavarotti rattling the window panes. She doesn't feel she has much of a choice but to hire him. If she doesn't, she'll have weeks of him staring forlornly (as only Derek can) into Harry's cage identifying himself with the little living ornament in the cage. It's either suffer him in the Kabin or at home! So she's got no choice! But she's determined to let him know who's boss. Rita offers her a half hour to go tell him but she decides to make him sweat until tea time! :)

At Weatherfield Comp, Andy waits for Paula who's stayed late for some extra private tuition with Mr. Barlow. Andy apologizes for having a go at her the day before, still sulking though, over her spending more time with her books than with him. When she accepts his apology, though, she makes it clear she's still peeved because his dad had a go at Ken in the pub over it all (Eh??? I never saw that!! Must have been cut!) Andy childishly decides Mr. Barlow fancies Paula. Paula sighs and tells him to grow up, shut up and get stuffed!

Back on the street, Vera arrives back home. Bet comes along and offers neighbourly support and a few encouraging words. Vera is pleased and then touched when Bet tells her that Jack wanted time off to go visit Terry. She just knew that deep down, Jack really does care about his son! But later, Lisa returns from visiting Terry and after a few minutes at cross purposes, innocently blows Jack out of the water. She was there the whole time and Jack never turned up! Jack arrives home whistling Dixie, chuffed that he won 30 quid at the race track this afternoon but the smile is wiped off his face quickly when he realizes he's been rumbled!

Mavis arrives home to find Derek slumped on the settee. The house is silent, thankfully. Every time he has a crisis, he has to have an Italian tenor wailing in sympathy! But Mavis is not sympathetic. She informs him that he can have the job if he wants it but warns him that she's in charge, she makes all the decision and she deals with the paper boys and girls! If he can accept that, then there's no reason they can't be happy together! Derek is startled, Happy together! But we're married! Mavis retorts, That's no reason why they shouldn't get on! (hahahaha, i'll bet you'd get a different story from Jack and Vera!) Derek is highly sarcastic, offering to kiss Mavis's feet and eventually supposes he'll take the job (Supposes! He could kiss my arse if he is going to be *that* ungrateful!!!) He finally rises off the settee and wanders a few steps, sighing into Harry's cage. They can give it a try and see how it goes, if it doesn't work out he can always crawl in Harry's cage and they can be living ornaments together! Mavis rolls her eyes so hard she is flung back into the settee in the backlash!

In the pub that night, Raquel tries to be philosophical about Des but isn't very successful. Jack arrives, eager to escape his trouble and strife. His face is suitably troubled and Bet heaps high praise on him for his good deed, offering him a pint for a reward. Does he feel guilty? 'Eck as like! He shrugs and heads for the pumps! Alec gives Liz a bit of a grilling over her culinary and presentation skills but offers her the job of evening cook anyway. She'll have a talk with Jim and let him know when she can start (she works some evenings at the Legion doesn't she?)

Des and Steph are having candlelight and wine. Des avoids any serious talk but Steph persists, knowing his hopes are rising by the minute. Seems she used Des as the excuse to get away from Simon, knowing Des would be the last person she would have a relationship with and for her, Des would be a safe haven from Simon's wrath. A decoy then? Des guesses she's got another bloke (at least that's what it sounded like, she was speaking so softly i couldn't quite make it out) Des's hopes thump to the ground and his recently healed heart cracks again.

I have to say i absolutely LOVE Mavis when she's got her backbone in like she has had today and having no illusions about her husband. He gets on her nerves, he isn't as solid as she would like and she can indeed stand up to him when she really has to. When Mavis decides to put her foot down and take Derek firmly in hand, i find her an immensely more enjoyable character than the wilting, waffling, wittering Mrs. Wilton, dreamily adoring her "masterful" bully of a husband. He is a bully, you know, organizing everything and everybody, pompous about his abilities and then childish when he doesn't get his way.

Diane Johnston

Written by STEPHEN MALLATRATT Directed by JULIAN JARROLD

Friday (3381, Friday 8 May 1992)

While Mavis takes in the start of a new day in her back garden this morning, Derek comes out looking like he's just lost his only friend. She waxes eloquent about the brave little flowers pushing up through the earth to find the sun while Derek is full of cynicism as he laments his future as a shop's assistant. She gives him short shrift, saying he's going to have to try harder to be cheerful if he wants to work with her.

Steph comes downstairs to find Des asleep on the couch, a bottle and half empty wine glass on the coffee table before him. The Wiltons' banter has woken her and she remarks that some things never change, calling them "Bo-Peep" and "Little Boy Blue". Irritated by her smugness, Des sits up to ask if she has a nickname for everyone including him. He picks up the wine glass and proceeds to pick up where he left off the night before. When she takes it from him, he warns her to be careful, she's acting "like a wife". Ignoring the remark, she offers to get his breakfast. He orders up a meal befitting a "condemned man", bacon and eggs, mushrooms, and fried bread twice, calling it his "last breakfast".

In the midst of Vera hassling Jack to pay a visit to R Turry in jail, Ivy arrives to pick her up for work. Jack makes a half hearted excuse about being unable to be in closed spaces but he's more interested in sussing Ivy out on any racing tips Don may have mentioned. Ivy says he might have mumbled something in his sleep but she doesn't know what and concentrates on coming up with the name for fear of closed spaces. Vera doesn't buy his excuse, saying he has no trouble with "closed spaces" at the bookie's! She accuses him of rejecting R Turry and their grandchild into the bargain. With a token denial of the charge, Jack persists in asking Ivy if Don happened to mention a particular horse by name. "Claustrophobia - that's it!" says Ivy triumphantly. Thinking she means a horse, Jack asks hopefully, "What race, luv? Did he say?"

In the Kabin, Jim is canceling their newspapers and magazines on order with Mavis. Derek is on his hands and knees, cleaning out the cards drawer and complaining of lost self respect. Bet is also in the shop and having made her purchase, follows Jim outside. She asks if Liz has mentioned anything to him. "About what?" he asks. "About Alec - I know he's inconsequential but we can't forget about him altogether, can we?" She realises too late that Liz has said nothing about the evening cook's job but Jim now wants full details so she reluctantly fills him in.

Steph has her bags almost packed by now and as she moves them downstairs, Des tells her he's phoned in sick to work, "acute humiliation" as his excuse. Phyllis arrives and is horrified to see that Steph is yet again leaving him. She protests but Steph tells her she's taken the booze off him and that's all she can manage. Des tells Phyllis to get off home, that he'll be all right. But out of her concern for him, she stays, helplessly begging Steph not to be so cruel. Des again tells her to take herself off. "No tears this time, Phyllis. No begging, no pleading...". Her heart is aching for him as she says she won't leave him at a time like this. Angered by her persistence, Des retorts that the last thing he needs now is "some interfering old crone" destroying his last bit of dignity! "Now go!" Poor Phyllis is terribly hurt by his outburst and goes out the door with a broken heart. Alone with the broken Des, Steph rages that he needn't take it out on Phyllis - if he's angry at her, he should lash out at her! Meekly, he says he just can't, he loves her too much.

Jim has come home to talk to Liz about Alec's job offer. She fills in the blanks for him and says she feels inclined to accept. Lacking enthusiasm but with recognition that their finances could do with the boost, Jim allows that she's probably better off. He gets ready to go and open the bike shop, mentioning on his way out that he's canceled the papers. She asks if business is "that bad" and he tells her it's "been better".

In the pub, Alec is complaining to Bet that they have more staff in than customers. She points out that Raquel, who is sitting with Audreh, isn't actually at work as it's her morning off. Anyway, he ought to be pleased about the number of hotpots they are selling. "Every time that new oven timer pings it's more money in the till!" He agrees but laments that it stops ringing "when 'Mother Hubbard' goes home"!

Rita and Ted join Emily at the bar, mentioning they are in for a quick drink before having a day out, "anywhere there's flowers". Emily, looking a bit down in the dumps, comments wistfully that Spring is such a short-lived season, "If you blink, you miss it". Cheerfully and without taking notice of Emily's downcast mood, Ted remarks to Rita that they should keep their eyes wide open!

Alec spots Jack talking to Lisa at the other end of the bar and cracks that perhaps he could serve some customers when the "prisoners' aid society" meeting is over. Jack and Lisa have been discussing the possibility of her returning to Blackpool. She feels it might be better as Terry is probably going to be in prison for some time, a fact she doesn't think Vera has accepted. Jack is understanding but tells her she's very welcome to stay on, urging that she have a heart to heart with Vera.

Audreh has been giving Raquel a bit of a pep talk, her own version, anyway. "I feel like second best", Raquel admits. "But luvvie - you're not! Well, you are - but only as far as Des is concerned!" LOL

Steph's taxi arrives and Des follows her out to wave her off. Apparently having been into the drink again, he spots Mavis as the taxi pulls away. Before going back inside, he shouts down the street to her that history is repeating itself. "No boat this time, but I may just burn down me house!" Mavis is left to shudder in horror at the suggestion.

Fleeing back into the Kabin, she relays her fears to Derek. He dismisses Des' threat as a joke but she doesn't think they take it lightly in view of Des being "a convicted arsonist"! She pleads with him to go and have a word with their neighbour and Derek sulkily asks, "Is that an order?"

As Andy packs up for school, Steve gives him a going over about Paula. "She's just a kid - you can't blame her for putting her studies first". Jim admonishes him to leave it but he persists in his teasing, which Andy bravely ignores. The phone rings as Andy enters the hallway and he answers the call. It's Vicky, calling from school for Steve. Payback time, Andy jokes at his brother's expense before handing the receiver over - she isn't to use any big words lest they confuse Steve. After going out, he calls through the mail slot, "She's just a kid!"

Liz has come to tell Alec of her decision to accept the job. He complains that she took long enough to decide and assumes the reason is that she lacks confidence. On the contrary, she tells him it was the wages that concerned her. Momentarily affronted at the intimation that he's stingy, Alec quickly moves on to the terms of employment. He suggests a week as a trial period but Bet interjects that a week is ridiculous. "All right then, a month", he relents. "Make it three months. And if Liz decides then she doesn't like the job, she can pack it in!" Bet asserts. "Subject to suitable notice of course", says Alec, flailing to recover some semblance of control.

Des has spotted Derek peering through his livingroom window and now opens the front door to ask if he can do anything for him. Clumsily, Derek apologises and explains that Mavis sent him over for a word.

Rita and Ted are thoroughly enjoying their walk around a lovely garden, resplendent with babbling brooks and flora of every description. He tells her that in moments like these, time stands still for him. Forgetting about his illness is "effortless" when he is with her.

Curly comes into the Kabin in search of Rita. Mavis tells him she isn't around today and anxiously asks if he has seen Derek, who has evidently been gone for some time. Curly's only concern is Rita's house and he wonders when she will return. Percy, overhearing the query, offers that she went off at fourteen hundred hours, "if that's any help". Impatiently, Curly says it isn't and leaves the shop. Derek enters and tells his worried wife that he's been "placating" their "errant neighbour - rebuilding broken bridges..." She looks relieved and Derek continues, "I managed to soothe his fevered brow. It was a long, tortuous job, but in the end, my psychology won out." From beside our hero, Percy deadpans, "You've been drinking - I can smell it". On hearing this, Mavis' relief quickly becomes irritation. "Only the one!", Derek protests, "It was part of the placatory process!"

After tea at the Duckworths, Vera refuses Lisa's offer to help with the washing up. Jack can do it, she insists. But Jack has plans, he is getting ready to go to the Legion and has no intention of washing up. When Vera starts in again about his unwillingness to go and visit R Turry, an argument ensues and Jack calls on Lisa to set Vera straight. Vera somehow jumps to the conclusion that Jack has asked Lisa for rent money and chastises him bitterly. Despite his protests, she is unrelenting in her accusations, saying he is responsible for Lisa being upset. Lisa is now visibly distressed, not from anything Jack has said but from their arguing.

In the Rovers, Curly informs Raquel that Steph has once again left Des and opines that he will soon be in to mend fences. "I'll spit in his eye if he comes near me!" she replies. Curly says he'll believe it when he sees it. Down the bar, Jim comments to Alf that business is poor lately. He suggests that Alf would be lying if he said his is any better at the moment and Alf nods his agreement.

Home after a trying day, Mavis tells Derek that he may not be cut out for the assistant's job. Sarcastically, he asks what qualifications an assistant needs. She answers that a cheerful disposition wouldn't go amiss for starters. Self-pitying, Derek bemoans that it's not easy to be cheerful when you have back pain. Taking little notice of his complaint, Mavis relents, "Perhaps we shouldn't jump to any conclusions. After all, it was hardly a typical day." "Conclusions about what?" Derek wonders. "About husbands and wives working together", she answers. "Surely you're not suggesting we get a divorce!" Derek protests, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Ignoring the barb, Mavis firmly tells him that if his attitude doesn't improve she'll be looking for a new assistant.

Back at the pub, Raquel asks Phyllis about Steph's departure. The poor woman is still deeply hurt over Des' rebuke and answers only that it "weren't pleasant". She picks up her drink and removes herself to a table, sheer pain on her weathered face. Down the bar, Liz asks Jim if he has called the Legion as she requested. Yes, he's done her "dirty work" for her, he jokes, telling her he cited the inconvenience of traveling as her reason for quitting.

Things liven up as Des bursts through the door with Ivy holding onto his arm. She apparently found him outside, talking to the door. "Where is she?" he asks drunkenly. Bet packs Raquel off to the back and informs him that she isn't here and that he won't be getting served. "I have to find her - I have to tell her how sorry I am!" he insists. Suddenly, he spots Phyllis, sitting alone and looking very sad. "There she is!" he announces in triumph. As he goes over to her, he apologises with fervor, "Oh Phyllis, I'm *so* sorry - I should never have thrown you out!" Sympathetically, the old woman takes hold of him and tells him she understands. Together with Jim McDonald, they leave the pub to take Des home and tuck him into bed. Raquel returns to the bar and is disappointed to hear that it was Phyllis and not her that Des was after.

At the end of the day, Lisa sits down with Vera for that heart to heart. She is thinking of going back to Blackpool, she says firmly, *not* because of the rent and *not* because of Jack. "It's *you*, Vera - you won't see things for what they are!" Unheeding, Vera objects that Lisa must stay and make plans for when R Turry comes home. Lisa realises the only way to make her understand the situation is to be perfectly blunt. "Vera, you're kidding yourself", she says gently. "Terryís guilty." "Guilty?" Vera answers in disbelief. "Yes Vera, *guilty*. And heís going to be away for a long time." As Vera's heart sinks with the news, Lisa offers solace, "I'm sorry, Vera".

Anita Belanger

Lisa Horton: CAROLINE MILMOE
Written by: TOM ELLIOTT Directed by: JULIAN JARROLD


Originally transmitted: 11, 13, 15, 18 & 20 May 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 27 September - Friday 1 October 1999
Episode Numbers: 3382 - 3386

Monday (3382, Monday 11 May 1992)

Vera is ready for work but it breaks her heart to go when she thinks of R Turry rotting away in prison. Again she takes a stab at asking Jack to visit him. He could go with Lisa when she goes. Ivy calls, and remarks that Vera looks unwell. Vera relents that she has a terrible migraine (owing to the stress no doubt!) and Ivy urges her to go back to bed for the day, she will explain to Curly. Thanking Ivy, Vera gratefully agrees to stay home.

Phyllis sees Percy working on the doorframe of Emily's house and approaches to ask what he's doing. "Minding me own business!" he snaps. Pausing, he adds, "If you must know, I'm painting the door." "With a screwdriver?" asks Phyllis. "Most folk use a brush!" Irritated at her joke, he responds, "Most folk don't prepare the paintwork properly!" Percy escapes further interrogation when Phyllis spies Des across the road and goes over to see him. Des offers an apology for his low behaviour yesterday but she assures him he already gave an apology last night. As he has no recollection, she reminds him that she and Jim McDonald took him home to bed. Bygones laid to rest, she asks if he still wants her cleaning services. He does of course, and apologises for the state the bathroom is in, saying he'll owe her a bonus this week.

Raquel goes into the Kabin for her magazine. As Derek gets it for her he explains that Mavis is at the chemist's. She remarks that it must be nice for him, living so close to work, adding that they both have that advantage now. He hastens to tell her that the job is a stop-gap for him, just until he can find a "proper" job. Nodding her understanding, she notes that is something else they have in common. Des comes in to talk to Raquel but she refuses to hear him out and walks away. He follows her out with apologies for chucking her out. Turning on her heel to face him, she corrects, "You didn't chuck me out - I left!" Ignoring further entreaties, she turns her back on him and heads towards the Rovers. Spotting Percy attending from across the road, she goes over to him. "In case you missed that, Des' wife has left him again, I'm stopping at the Rovers and (pointing at Lisa and Vera getting into the car) I've no idea where they're going!" she informs him sarcastically. "To the local prison, I shouldn't wonder", answers Percy without skipping a beat. To Raquel's dismay, he then delivers a lecture about the crumbling state of affairs, blaming everything from marriage breakdown to crime on the fact that the National Service is no longer in place!

Vera and Lisa are now seated in the visiting quarters of the prison with R Turry. Gently, he tries to break the news to Vera that he's going to be in for a long time, not a good time. She doesn't understand as she thinks this is a first offense but as he explains, he's been done before. (Sorry but I didn't catch what he did the first time, only something about "a few weeks' scrubs".) To complicate matters, the GBH charge is yet more serious because the victim has a fractured skull from the attack. "What did you hit him with?!" Vera asks in horror. Terry tells her he fell and hit his head on the curb, to which Vera replies, "There you go then - it were an accident!" Shaking his head, Terry lets her have the rest of the news - he is also charged with resisting arrest. Finally, it sinks in to Vera's mother's heart that her son is going away for a long time, there's no way around it.

Percy takes a break from his work to go in and complain to Emily about the state of society today. Deeply absorbed in reading the paper, she pays little heed as he rants. He talks about folk being too isolated these days, not as involved in their community. Finally she looks up to tell him that she just wants to be left alone. With his nose a little out of joint, he returns to his painting, asking if she would like to inspect the work he's done so far. She politely declines, whereupon he asks if she's sure about the colour. Fed up with his antics, she replies with agitation, "White, Mr. Sugden, I want white!"

At the prison, Vera is merrily filling R Turry in on all the Street gossip. Ignoring her, he and Lisa talk quietly to each other. Finally, Terry asks his mother if they could be left alone for a few minutes. Vera willingly obliges, going out to wait in another room. Alone with Lisa, Terry tells her that one of the inmates topped himself last night. "He received a letter from his missus saying she'd got someone else." Lisa rushes to assure him that she'll wait, no matter how long it takes. Terry asks her if she'll marry him and she readily accepts. They might even be able to have the wedding on the outside, he tells her. He'll check with the prison chaplain to see what can be done.

While the first coat is drying, Percy comes back into the house. Emily is sat just where he left her, still reading but with an empty teacup before her. Percy comments about the fact that she didn't make him any tea but she seems not to notice his chagrin, casually telling him he can make another cup. Casting about for something to explain her indifference, Percy assumes that he upset her earlier. "I'm a perfectionist", he explains. "I'm sorry if that upsets you but I believe in making a proper job of it". Emily looks at him as if she doesn't have a clue what he is on about. "I'm not upset, Mr. Sugden", she says calmly. Mystified by her aloofness, he goes off to make his own tea.

While Jack soaks in a hot bath, Vera fills him in on R Turry's engagement to Lisa. Jack thinks getting married is just a ruse, a clever one, but a ruse nonetheless. Vera retorts that of course it's genuine - R Turry and Lisa are in love! But as Jack points out, it's bound to get him some sympathy from the court. "Lisa in one of them maternity outfits, looking sad... Oh yes, he'll probably get off with a fine..." Vera is chuffed to think he might avoid jail, even when Jack quips that *he* still thinks jail is preferable to marriage!

Jim, finding himself alone with Andy in a rare moment of peace and quiet in the house, decides to talk to his son about Paula. Andy insists that he doesn't want to discuss it, but ultimately, gives up and listens to what his father has to say. Jim figures that Paula hasn't so much gone off him as decided to devote herself more fully to her studies. He reasons that after the exams, she'll probably be her old self again, going out and having fun. Andy mulls it over and decides it makes sense. He even agrees with Jim's suggestion that he follow Paula's lead and focus exclusively on his studies until after his exams.

In the Rovers, Liz has cooked hotpot and gammon for this evening's menu, but Percy tells her he feels like a curry. Flustered at the special order, she reluctantly goes to cook one but he stops to ask her what kind of curry she has. She doesn't know the difference but leaves him with the promise that he shan't be disappointed. As she leaves, he calls after her that he would like the rice to be separated!

Vera and Lisa are in the Rovers celebrating the pending marriage when Curly walks in. Vera feels guilt pangs over not going to work today and offers him a drink. When he hears the good news, he offers to buy theirs, including one for Jack, who is behind the bar.

Mike joins Alma in another section of the pub and asks what the Duckworths are celebrating. When she tells him of R Turry and Lisa's engagement, he laments that the poor girl doesn't know what she's letting herself in for. "Still, I guess anyone would have to be a sucker to get married, eh?" he jests.

Andy may have had the best of intentions but it appears the flesh is weak. He's made his way over to Paula's house and now stands gazing up at the light in her bedroom window from across the road.

Rita and Ted, having enjoyed their day out together decide on a meal in the pub to wind things up. She asks Percy, now having finished his meal whether he liked what he ordered. Shaken from his daydreaming, Percy looks up and answers, "Very nice, very nice". Rita whispers to Ted that Percy doesn't sound at all like his usual self.

Back among the celebrants, Vera asks Curly if he might pay R Turry a visit in prison. He explains the problem would be getting time off work and she casually replies, "Oh, just say you're poorly!" Unfortunately, the remark is overheard by Reg, who has just joined the group. Sarcastically asking about her "migraine", Reg tells her she ought to think about marketing her apparent "miracle cure". Turning to Curly, he chides him for colluding in Vera's scam, warning of "a very dangerous precedent". To appease him, Vera offers to get Reg a drink. It appears to do the trick as he graciously accepts.

When Vera turns to Lisa to offer her another, Lisa declines but asks for a quiet word. Jack has told her his theory about Terry's motives and she wants Vera to know that it isn't true. "It won't make any difference, Vera... Terry's going to be in prison for a long time, as much as five years. They won't care if he's married or not when he's found guilty!" Another day ends in sadness for Vera. She is utterly crestfallen at the news.

Anita Belanger

Terry Duckworth: NIGEL PIVARO Lisa Horton: CAROLINE MILMOE
Written by PHIL WOODS Directed by JULIAN FARINO

Tuesday (3383, Wednesday 13 May 1992)

Martin has to write a 1,000 word essay on "health and freedom" - if and how we should convince people to do things that are good for them, like eating healthily and quitting smoking, even though they don't seem to want to. He's deeply frustrated as he's not much of a writer. Later in the Cafe Gail tells Alma about his struggle and says she fears he's having a hard time of it. Alma teases her by trying to convince Derek to change his lunch order from egg, sausage and chips to something healthier, to Derek's consternation.

That afternoon as Gail returns to the house she finds Martin little further ahead and even more frustrated. As usual she is little support as she snickers at the one sentence he has managed to get on paper. (I thought it wasn't a bad start at all for a "non-writer", and the first sentence is always the hardest! But Gail's unsupportive attitude is well-established now and I would have been shocked if she'd been of more help.) She tells Martin he sounds like Nicky whinging about schoolwork, but she does at least encourage him to try again when he throws his work away in frustration. Martin goes out to the Rovers for a pint, promising to come back and try again later. At the pub he is joined by Des (who Raquel is pointedly ignoring), Kevin and Curly. There's a great little scene where Des keeps unhelpfully telling Martin that what he needs for the essay is "some alcohol to get the old brain cells workin'!". He goes on to declare that all writers are alcoholics causing Curly to try earnestly to explain his error in logic ("just because some successful writers were alcoholics doesn't mean that alcohol makes you write better!") and to unsuccessfully attempt to explain the "Fallacy of the Undistributed Middle" to his goofy friends. (I'm guessing that tomorrow Martin will be worrying about the Reality of the Undistributed Essay, but anyway.) Later Des manages to get a "get lost!" out of Raquel, to which he quips happily, "That's progress - she wasn't talking to me before!"

Emily is clearly unwell today. She notes that she "didn't sleep well - as usual." Percy isn't helping, him being all gung-ho about spring cleaning, army-style. Emily is very distracted, however, and finally sends him out, saying she'd rather tackle things by herself. When Percy returns after lunch, however, he's disturbed to see that the breakfast dishes haven't even been done, much less the spring cleaning started on. Emily is again acting distracted and preoccupied, and insists that she's been "quite busy". She takes Percy up on his offer to go at the cleaning, saying vacantly that she'll go out and leave him to it.

Vera asks Curly for some time off to help Terry "when he needs me... plannin' 'is weddin' behind bars!" Curly agrees and Vera and Lisa prepare to go to the prison without Jack, who makes some excuse not to accompany them. Lisa wonders to Vera if Terry might be marrying her so it'll look better when his case comes up in court (tell the littly lady what she's won, Bob) but Vera assures her that he wants to do right by her and the baby. At the prison, Terry tells his mother and fiancee that he will be allowed out to get married. Lisa admits that she hasn't told her parents yet. She also asks Terry if he really wants to do this and he gives her a song and dance about how being inside gives you time to think about what really matters and for him that's Lisa and the baby. He really wants to marry her. "That's what I wanted to hear," Lisa smiles, as Vera watches teary-eyed.

The women return to the Duckworths', where Vera gives a cynical Jack the news that Terry will be allowed out for the wedding. Lisa slips out of the room to make a phone call and Vera waxes poetic about how she knows Lisa will wait for Terry if the worst happens, but Jack is absorbed with more practical matters, like *where* she'll be doing this waiting, and who will be paying for this wedding? Vera assures him that Lisa's parents surely know that the bride's parents pay for the wedding, and anyway, a big 'do' wouldn't be proper under the circumstances - she thought they'd come back to the Duckies' for something to eat, then perhaps end up down the Rovers. Jack doesn't care where they end up as long as he's not the only one dipping hand in pocket! Lisa returns to say that she's secured a date and time for the nuptials, but she is a bit sad about having to choose the ring by herself.

Later, that evening, Vera and Lisa have a chat at home while Jack works at the pub. Lisa confesses that she hasn't phoned her parents with the news of her upcoming wedding as she had planned. In fact, she now has no plans to tell them at all, knowing they would simply disapprove. (Wot?! Just because she's having a quickie wedding to a man in prison on assault charges, whose child she's carrying? How unreasonable!)

A tempest brews in the Kabin teapot when Ted comes in to get some wedding invitation cards. Derek, who's working alone behind the counter, pointedly reminds Ted as Ted begins to leave that the invitations are £8.50. Ted is obviously surprised at the demand that he pay for the cards, but he pays without comment. Over a lunchtime drink Rita expresses annoyance when told of the incident, observing that it was Derek's way of letting them know he's still angry about the reversal of the plans to sell the shop. For two pins, she says, she'd walk into the Kabin and take the money out of the till and hand it back to Ted, right under Derek's nose! That would only upset Mavis, says Ted, and Rita doesn't want to do that. True, agrees Rita - upsetting Mavis is too easy, no fun. Now Derek she doesn't mind having a go at!

We next see Ted and Rita in the evening when they again come into the Rovers for a quiet drink and chat about future plans. Ted says that he understands that Rita doesn't want them to get a place of their own because when he's gone, she'll be stuck with it. He says he will be happy to move into her flat so that when the inevitable happens, she will be surrounded by the people she loves.

Andy takes a break from his exam studies to call Paula, but her mother says she's not in. We can see, however, that Paula is standing right behind Mrs. Maxwell! Mrs. Maxwell must field Andy's repeated calls all day as Paula sticks to her pledge to remain incommunicado until exams are over. An increasingly frustrated Andy finally goes to the Maxwell home and confronts Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell (who are presented as extremely sympathetic characters, trying to respect Paula's wishes while feeling for the poor lad who's been phoning and then sitting across the road) at the door. He says he knows Paula's home because he's seen her through the windows, and she's probably been home all day (ouch! this must've hurt Mrs. Maxwell, who commented a couple of times on how bad she felt about being made to lie). He wants to see her but the Maxwells, while sympathetic to him, tell him they can only follow Paula's wishes. Andy gives them a message for Paula, who is listening from the kitchen. "She might think she's clever, but I think it's pathetic," says Andy, and the Maxwells can tell Paula they're through because it's clearly what she wants and it's what he wants too! With that, he walks away, a sad bowed figure of teenage heartbreak in the twilight.

ronniecat

Mrs. Maxwell: DIANE ADDERLEY Mr. Maxwell: KEITH LADD
Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by JULIAN FARINO

Wednesday (3384, Friday 15 May 1992)

The episode opens at the Duckworth's, where Jack is moaning about his many misfortunes. As he explains it to Vera, there was a time in his life when he felt blessed not to have a daughter, and now his one and only son comes long with a girl who won't tell her parents that she's about to get married -- so he'll still get stuck with the flaming wedding bill! His complaints are interrupted by Lisa bursting into the room to excitedly announce that she just felt the baby move. Vera invites Jack to feel his grandchild, but a horrified Jack shudders and says he wants no part of it, as he's eating. Instead, he tries once again to convince Lisa that she should tell her parents of the baby and of her wedding plans, but Lisa wants no part of it and their "attitude."

Over the road, there's some jocularity at the Platt's. Sarah-Lou has apparently hurt her knee, but she won't allow "Nurse Platt" to remove her trousers so that he can have a look at the injury, causing Gail to tease Martin about his "bedside manner." While Nicky continues to insist that Sarah-Lou could have a broken leg, Gail asks if she can inspect the area, and when Sarah-Lou readily agrees, Gail gives Martin one of those superior looks and responds with laughter.

Andy is still revising for his exams, so impatiently asks Liz to be less intrusive as she quietly dusts the room. She offers to clean his room instead, but that won't do either as she'll undoubtedly make a lot of noise overhead, and Andy needs to concentrate. Liz suggests that Paula is the reason for Andy's less than reasonable mood, and is surprised when he tells her that he's finished with her, and good riddance. Sensing that Andy's bravado over the situation is a little less than genuine, Liz suggests that things will become clearer for both of them after they've finished with their exams.

Mike Baldwin finds Kevin under a car, hard at work, so tells Kev that he'll be leaving his car there. Kev points out that the Jag is blocking the laneway, and Mike blithely replies that Kevin can move it if needs must. Ted Sullivan arrives and asks Mike if the brakes on Rita's car can be checked, leaving Kevin a little annoyed that he isn't consulted in the matter.

Reg Holdsworth makes a sarcastic remark about Vera being at work for a change, and after he leaves, Vera tells Ivy that Jack is upset about having to pay for Terry's and Lisa's wedding. While Vera doesn't seem bothered about the few expenses related to their small wedding, she still thinks that Lisa's parents ought to be informed.

Back at the Duckworth's, Lisa asks Jack what sort of flowers Vera likes, and true to form, Jack hasn't the foggiest idea. He tries again to talk Lisa into letting her parents know of her plans on the grounds that they would probably be pleased to give her a big send-off, but to no avail. After Lisa leaves, Jack calls information to get the phone number of Lisa's parents.

At the nursing school, Martin volunteers to move a "patient" (another class mate, Tony) from his bed to a trolley. After asking several pertinent questions, and ascertaining that the patient has had a laminectomy, Martin explains to Tony where he'll be taking him, and pumps his bed up to the same level as the trolley. Martin then asks Tony to shuffle himself from the bed to the trolley, but Tony isn't agreeable, complaining of intense pain. Eventually Tony does Martin's bidding, and moves, causing the teacher to give Martin full marks for initiative.

Alma is teasing Gail about playing "doctors and nurses" with Martin, but Gail insists that Martin has a lot of heavy slogging and "head work" with his course. Phyllis arrives with Mike and informs Alma that Mike has given her £10 in advance to take over Alma's duties at the Cafe so that Mike can take her to lunch. To Mike's great consternation, Alma refuses to hand her apron over to Phyllis, and when informed that the table has already been booked, she tells Phyllis to enjoy her meal with Mike, and to lash out on something expensive.

Later in the day, Emily comes into the Cafe, looking pale and withdrawn, and complains to Gail and Alma of Mr. Sugden constantly going on about cleaning the curtains. Gail tells Emily that Alma just turned down a lunch, and while the two of them joke, Emily, who seems far away on some remote planet, doesn't even crack a smile. Mike arrives and announces that Phyllis enjoyed her lunch, but since Alma wasn't interested, he threatens to invite Emily for a weekend at a posh hotel, where he booked a room. Alma doesn't let that one get past her, though, and agrees to go.

Vera gets home from work, and seeing a vase of flowers on the table, immediately assumes that Jack bought them for her -- until she realizes that the flowers are a gift from Lisa. At that moment, the telephone rings, and Jack insists that Lisa answer.

Rita and Ted enter the Kabin and don't see anyone at the counter. When Derek shows up from the back, he isn't amused by their jokes that they could have cleaned the place out. He's less than interested when they inform him that they're off to York for the weekend, and when presented with an invitation to their wedding, Derek will only comment that he'll be sure that Mavis gets it.

Lisa is talking to both her parents (her dad is on the extension) on the telephone, and after a few tense and defiant sentences, she hangs up and accuses Jack of telling them of her plans. Consequently, her parents are going to come to visit her, and Vera is so pleased by the prospect that she promises she'll open a can of salmon especially for them. After Lisa goes upstairs, Jack doesn't get the ear-bashing he expected; instead Vera tells him that probably for the first time in his life, he did something right.

Andy is surprised to find Paula at the door, and after he lets her in, she demands an apology for his embarrassing behaviour in front of her parents. According to her, the whole street heard him, and worse than that, it will be his fault if she fails. She asks if he meant it when he said that he never wanted to see her again, and Andy admits that he did mean it, at the time. All Paula really wanted was for him to leave her alone so that she could concentrate on her studies, but now both of them confess that all either of them can think about is each other. Paula quickly realizes that they're alone in the house, and when Andy admits that his parents won't be back until quite late, the snogging commences.

Martin is at the books when Gail comes down the stairs, having put the kids to bed. She's still amused by the morning's events, when Sarah-Louise wouldn't allow Martin to look at her knee, but she soon stops laughing when she catches a glimpse of Martin's study materials. Nine-cylinder words like "mitosis," "osmosis," "spermatogenesis," and the production of hormones have Gail in awe of the subject material.

Paula and Andy have fallen asleep (fully clothed -- this is a family show!) in each other's arms in the living room when Liz and Jim arrive home. Jim is immediately upset by the scenario, suspecting the worst, while Liz asks Paula if her folks are aware of where she is. Jim offers to take Paula home while Liz will call her parents to let them know that she's on the way, but before he leaves, Jim glowers at Andy and promises a "talk" when he gets back. After they depart, Liz asks Andy if he managed to get any work done that evening, and his answer is no. Meanwhile, he moans about his father making such a big embarrassing deal of finding the pair of them together. Liz tells him to get up the stairs and into his bed before his father gets back. She'll make sure that the situation is forgotten by the morning. She concludes by telling Andy that she likes Paula, but she also needs to know that she can trust him. As Andy heads for bed, Liz sits down to wait for Jim, a look of determination on her face.

Heather Morlan

Written by STEPHEN MALLATRATT Directed by JULIAN FARINO

Thursday (3385, Monday 18 May 1992)

Vera is busy hoovering in anticipation of the impending visit of Lisa's parents. She nags Jack to clean up the yard and all that pigeon muck though Jack doesn't think it's necessary! After all, they're posh now, the cludgie's inside! They argue, Jack stalls but Vera persists. Jack escapes to the backyard for a little pigeon bonding, venting to one of his birds about the cost of weddings and how he doesn't even want grandchildren, more cost! (Just you wait, Jacko, you'll change your tune soon enough!)

Derek glances with annoyance as Raquel takes her time perusing all the magazines Mavis has discovered Rita's wedding invitation which Derek has meanly stacked in amid the bills in the back, pretending he's forgotten all about it. Mavis is delighted so Derek takes perverse delight in badgering Raquel who finally brings a book to the counter. It has the best horoscope you see. Derek sourly declares if there was anything in it, all the horoscopes would be the same! Get ready for the set up for the Line Of The Day... Raquel draws a comparison with economists who all forecast different financial futures. Ah, Derek points out superiorly, the economy is a complex matter. Raquel looks pointedly at Derek and sincerely exclaims, (are you ready for it?) "So's destiny, Mr. Wilton, so's destiny!" And takes her lovely self out.

Down at number three, Emily is moving in slow motion, polishing her silverware. Percy interrupts, pointing out that she did it the other day. Emily begins to get agitated, moving quickly to anger... She just wants to sort out her cutlery without people constantly interrupting! Uncharacteristically she loses her temper when she sets a spoon down on the stack of forks. Now see what you've done and exclaims that she'll have to start all over now, dumping the utensils back out on the table irritably. Percy retreats!

A red Mercedes pulls up in front of the Duckworth's. Inside is a middle aged couple, Lisa's parents. Her mother lays down the law, don't blame "them" and don't lose your temper, make the best of this! They emerge from the car, surveying their surroundings somewhat distastefully. Mrs. Horton makes a point of locking her car door before they approach the door. Mr. Horton is quite obviously not in an amiable frame of mind. Vera opens the door and invites them in to introductions all around, Jeff and Doreen meet Jack and Vera. The men grunt at each other and Jeff immediately becomes critical about Terry who's in jail. Doreen warns Jeff and Jack takes exception to the other man's attitude. The women make small talk until Lisa arrives, greeted warmly by her mother. But her father is again harsh, covering his love and concern for his little girl, you can tell. He wants her to come home and tells her she doesn't *have* to marry this man but she refuses. She's going through with it. Right. Jack gets down to the business at hand, who's paying for the wedding because he sure isn't. Crass talk of money, arguments, and more nasty cracks about Jailbirds has Lisa dissolving in tears and running out through the pigeon muck in the back yard followed by her father.

He finds her sobbing by the pigeon loft. He apologizes and remember how she used to like her grandad's pigeons when she were a lass. They discuss her feelings for Terry and she defends him of course, telling her father that he doesn't know Terry nor the circumstances. This is something that happened but it's not him (the police charges and do you wanna bet it isn't just him?) Jeff thinks she doesn't see Terry because of her feelings and tells her he loves her. Aw! But she turns in around on him, making him realize she is a grown woman now. He reluctantly accepts that she's going to marry Terry. Be happy and prove me wrong, he anxiously urges her. But he looks dubious.

Inside the women talk about Lisa. Jack tries to escape to the pub but isn't allowed. Vera notices, through the window, that Lisa and her dad seeming to have made it up. And indeed, outside, Jeff is pressing a wad of cash into her hands. She only wants him to be at the wedding, but he insists she take it and they hug emotionally. Crisis more or less over for the moment.

In the Kabin, Phyllis and Mavis are gossiping about the Duckworth wedding. Derek is still being perverse, making snobbish remarks about the Hortons. He knows "that sort", with their second hand Mercedes etc. Mavis scolds him, he doesn't know it's second hand and Derek (making my fingers itch to slap his sanctimonious hound dog face) cracks "which, the car or the daughter. Well we already know the daughter is second hand!" (just let me catch my breath for a moment, i'm on the edge of a scream here! I have a good mind to run over the road and have Jeff come back and sort Derek out about a few things!) Mavis and Phyllis turn their conversation to Rita and Ted's wedding which will be of a very subdued nature. Derek sourly looks on silently from the corner. Phyllis goes merrily on her way, a smile on her face but no sooner is her back out the door than "he" has a rude insult to make at dear Phyllis's expense. He astonishes Mavis by announcing that he isn't going to the wedding since he doesn't believe Rita considers him a friend. She of course has to go because she is the manager. (he'd choke on the word "friend"!) Basically he tries to make Mavis feel guilty by insisting she prove her loyalties, husband or friend! She huffs and puffs but we don't yet know what her final decision will be.

In the cafe, Percy is sitting quietly worrying about Mrs. Bishop. He mentions she seems to have gone spring-cleaning crazy but Gail is too busy wittering on about Martin and his course and being envious and jealous that Martin might be moving on without her. Yadda Yadda Yadda! Martin, in the meantime, is persuaded to go to the pub after classes to have a drink and he gets home late, having completely forgotten that he was to be babysitting while Gail takes David to have his hearing checked! Oops! Gail is pretty cool when he gets home since she had to take all three kids to the clinic.

Paula is revising with Ken's help. He urges her to take a break as there is such a thing as over-revising. They chat for a moment about Andy's lackadaisical attitude towards his studies lately. Ken realizes that Andy is jealous because Paula is spending more time on her studies than with him. (child!) At home, Liz is trying to clear all paths to make Andy able to revise without any interruptions. Steve of course, is resentful that he has to take up the slack with the household chores and teases Andy unmercifully about his mooning over Paula. Jim (in an obvious contract filling appearance) pops through the door to prevent Andy from catching up and thumping his brother.

In the pub tonight, Percy is expressing his concern about Emily performing all this housecleaning tasks over and over. Bet dismisses it as just being fussy and having too much time on her hands (Emily, not Bet!) Over at a table, Angie and Curly are talking. Curly is facing a 25 year mortgage while predicting much more exciting things in Angie's future. (And i thought Rita only agreed to give Curly first refusal. Did i miss where she accepted his offer and agreed to sell him the house?)

The Hortons and Duckworths come in to the pub. Bet is on her best and loftiest behavior. Jack offers to buy the first round but due to double brandies and Grand Marnier orders, he comes up short and Vera has to slip him another fiver. Jeff tries to take over, grandly pulling money out of that wallet that seems to have no bottom today but Bet solves the problem by treating the lot of them in celebration. Vera decides to make a speech and gives very good advice, saying it's not how you start but how you go on and they all toast the happy couple....Well one half of it at least.

Diane Johnston

Doreen Horton ANNIE RAITT Jeff Horton DICKEN ASHWORTH Tony Stephenson JASON YATES
Written by JULIAN ROACH Directed by STEPHEN BUTCHER

Friday (3386, Wednesday 20 May 1992)

Martin reckons he's in the doghouse this morning for coming home late after being at a pub with his college friends. He goes into the Kabin to buy Gail some chocolates by way of an apology. Percy also has some making up to do, with Emily for getting on her nerves yesterday. He's selected a knitting magazine for her and as he pays, he comments that one should always strive never to be the last one to make up an argument. Mavis smiles sentimentally as he goes from the shop but Derek construes Percy's "bon mot" to have been aimed at him and having his chip firmly in place on his shoulder this morning, he resents it.

At home in the kitchen, Martin insists that Gail sit down and read the paper while he sees to breakfast. The chocolates are secreted away in the folds of the newspaper and as she takes hold of it, she gasps in delight. When Martin apologises for coming in drunk last night, she insists that he wasn't - it was only 7:00 o'clock after all! It dawns on her that she's made him feel guilty and she feels bad about it. She says she doesn't want him to stop seeing his college friends, so he suggests that perhaps she can join them the next time. Sarah Lou shouts gleefully, "Yeah! Then you can all get drunk!"

As Vera gets ready for work, she tells Lisa to leave off clearing the dishes and get herself ready to go shopping. Lisa tells them about the £500 that her father gave her for a dress and Jack helpfully offers to hold onto it for her. Vera cautions her not to let the money out of her sight and laments that she is unable to take the time to go with her. Lisa assures her that she can manage and Vera moves on to the subject of R Turry's best man. Jack pipes up that he *could* ask the prison warden, after all he'll be shackled to him! Vera tells him to "shurrup" and addresses herself to Lisa. She reckons Curly would be perfect!

On the morning before his exam, Liz has cooked Andy a hearty breakfast. He shows little interest but to make her happy he agrees to eat. She enthuses about his exam and is disappointed when Andy replies that it's "only" a General Studies paper. Sensing that he feels pressured, she decides not to make an issue of it.

Audreh breezes into the Cafe and finding Gail looking rather sullen, asks what the matter is. She admits that she feels left behind now that Martin is moving on to new things. She tells Audreh and Alma about Martin going out with his college friends the night before and her playing the nagging wife when he came home. Audreh advises her to make up for it tonight by getting the kids to bed early and having a nice bottle of wine.

At school, Martin runs into Tony, who proceeds to recount what a good time he had after Martin left the pub. Martin doesn't know where he gets the energy - by the time he plays with the kids, reads Sarah Lou a bedtime story and watches telly for an hour, he's had it! Tony mentions that he's very fond of kids and asks Martin about his. When Martine says that Nicky is 10 Tony is quite surprised and asks Martin at what age he "started". Martin explains about Nicky being Gail's son, which leads Tony to ask about Gail's age. Martin is reticent, but gives Gail's age as "around 33 or 34". Tony says he'd really like to meet Gail and the kids sometime so Martin invites him round for his tea this evening. "Gail will love it", he assures him. "She's always going on about being stuck home alone every night!"

Ken is giving the instructions at the beginning of the General Studies exam. Andy, Paula and a number of other students are waiting for Ken to stop talking so the exam can begin. When he gives the directive for them to turn their papers over, he notices that Andy pauses a good while before starting.

Taking a quick break from Derek and the Kabin, Mavis goes up to Rita's flat to pay a visit. After pleasantries, she gets to the point, telling Rita that Derek has decided he won't be coming to her wedding. Citing inflation, Mavis goes on to explain that he simply doesn't feel he can afford to close the shop, not even for an afternoon. Seeing through the excuse, Rita replies, "So he's still miffed?" Mavis admits that he has been brooding, but his disappointment over the failed deal with the Kabin is just a part of it. She explains that he sees Rita and Ted starting a new life, while he feels his own is finished. Rita says nothing, but quietly contemplates the irony of Derek's supposition.

Back in the exam hall, Paula looks after Andy in surprise as he abruptly lays down his pencil and leaves the room. Ken rushes out after him and confronts him about leaving. Appeals on the basis of Andy throwing away a bright future fall on deaf ears. But when Ken points out that Paula will be worried and possibly unable to continue, Andy starts to take heed. When he sees that by leaving he may be spoiling Paula's chances as well as his own, he decides to go back in and sit the exam.

Percy comes in at dinnertime to find Emily listlessly staring into space. He asks if she's had dinner yet and hearing she hasn't, he offers to get it for her. She isn't hungry, she says. He notices the knitting magazine still on the table where he left it and asks whether she likes it. She hasn't even looked at it yet. Cheerily, he suggests that she have a bite to eat then spend the afternoon visiting at the hospital. As if waking from a deep sleep, she suddenly snaps at him that she is quite capable of organising her own life! She turns to leave the room and Percy calls after her to know where she is going. "Upstairs!" she replies with annoyance. "What about your dinner?" he calls after her. She ignores him, leaving poor Percy to scratch his head in confusion.

In the Cafe, Paula tells Andy how angry she was when he walked out of the exam. He came back though, that's the main thing, he points out. "Greater love hath no man than he would sit a General Studies exam for his girl friend", he waxes. She smiles and they leave the Cafe together, Alma commenting about "young love" as they go. This serves as a reminder to Gail that she'd better be off if she's to stop at the off license and get the kids to bed early!

Mavis tells Derek that she's been to see Rita and explain why he won't be at the wedding. "What did you say?" he demands. "I told her you wanted to keep the Kabin open - I could hardly tell her that you were still sulking!" Mavis answers. Their conversation is cut short when a salesman enters the shop. He asks to see Mrs. Fairclough, but Mavis explains that Rita is now retired and has left her and Derek to run the shop. The salesman, Mr. Sykes, assumes that Derek is in charge and starts showing him his new line of recycled stationary. Of course, Derek basks in the glory of the salesman's attentions, his forte being stationary, and recycled stationary in particular! His delight is short lived, however as Mavis sweetly interjects to inform Mr. Sykes that Mrs. Fairclough left *her* in charge of the shop. Without skipping a beat, the salesman immediately switches his attentions to Mavis, snatching the sample book from Derek's hands in the process. Derek, deflated by the rebuff, mumbles something about brewing up tea, perhaps scrubbing the floors while he's at it.

Gail comes home with her bottle of wine to find Nicky and Tony entwined in a game of Twister on the floor, with Martin and Sarah Lou calling directions from the sofa. Introductions are made and in answer to Martin's query, Gail meekly fibs that the wine wasn't for anything special.

Jim and Liz ask Andy how he went on in the exam and he casually tells them he walked it, leaving out the business of almost walking out.

After dinner at the Platts', Gail is sitting in the livingroom watching Nicky and Tony watch football while Martin sees to the washing up. Her patience has started to wear thin by now and she tells Nicky it's time for bed. Tony senses her tension and offers to change the channel if she would prefer something else. She smilingly declines, saying it's just time Nicky went up. Nicky pleads to be allowed to stay up for the end of the game and she gives in, no doubt feeling she hasn't much choice.

At the Rovers, Vera asks Curly if he'll stand as R Turry's best man. Curly makes the excuse that he wouldn't be able to get time off work but Vera pleads on the basis that Turry asked specially for him. Vera pulls out the "you wouldn't let one of yer best mates down when he's in trouble, would yer?" ploy, and Curly grudgingly acquiesces to the request.

Rita comes in to the Rovers and stops for a word with Derek at the table he and Mavis are seated at. She tells Derek curtly that she's sorry to hear he can't make the wedding, but she'll save him a piece of wedding cake. Under his breath, Derek fumes, "You'd better not - I'd probably choke on it!" Rita fails to hear the retort as she has already taken herself over to the bar where Audreh and Alma are waiting. Audreh, Alma and Raquel join in fussing over the bride to be and talking about weddings in general. Raquel says she wants someone rich, which leads Audreh to comment that Alma's already snagged Mike Baldwin. "Yes, and I'll make sure he goes through with it if I have to get him in a ball and chain and handcuffs!" Alma jokes. Amidst the laughter, Vera's voice rises in indignation. She has overheard Alma's crack and presumes it pertains to R Turry. With a blast, she tells the merry assembly that they can laugh now, "but R Turry and Lisa will still be happily married when *they're* all battling it out in divorce court!" Taking Lisa by the arm, she storms out of the pub.

Tony is finally leaving and after Gail bids him goodbye, she sits pensively waiting while Martin sees him out. When Martin rejoins her, he asks what she thought of his friend. Gail admits she found him "a bit young" and is surprised to hear he's the same age as Martin. "Well he doesn't have three kiddies!" Martin exclaims. "Do you ever wish you didn't?" Gail asks tentatively. He assures her with a kiss that he has no such wish or desire. Relieved, she readily returns the kiss and looks to be expecting something more but he gently brushes her off. He can't, he explains - he has "loads" of reading to catch up on. Not for the first time this evening, she puts her own wishes on hold, smiling that he'd better get to it then. As he goes upstairs, he remarks again on what a "good bloke" Tony is. "Never a dull moment when he's around!" Gail's insecurities surface once more as she hears the enthusiasm in Martin's voice.

Anita Belanger

Tony Stephenson: JASON YATES Mr. Sykes: DEREK HICKS
Written by HARRY DUFFIN Directed by STEPHEN BUTCHER


Originally transmitted: 22, 25, 27 & 29 May; 1 June 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 4 - Friday 8 October 1999
Episode Numbers: 3387 - 3391

Monday (3387, Friday 22 May 1992)

Lisa has a shopping expedition planned for today to find a wedding frock. Vera would love to come with her but Lisa doesn't want her to get into any trouble at work. It seems like there's a lot of genuine affection between the two women as they bond in the lead up to the wedding.

Mavis has a quiet word with Derek to reinforce the fact that she's in charge and is the one to deal with sales reps. Dogsbody Derek mopes, is licking his wounded pride even though Mavis dubs him Chief Assistant. But she makes matters even worst when she nervously draws the line under her statement by donning a badge clearly labeling her "Manager" for all the world to see! Derek, further offended, struts off to the back. Raquel and Lisa both have overheard but the chat soon turns to wedding frocks. Raquel ends up offering to accompany Lisa to the shops and also offers to do her hair and makeup for the wedding. Lisa is touched at the kindness of all the relative strangers!

Poor Vera is very blue at work, even bluer than her uniform. Ivy tries to boost her spirits by offering to go to Bingo with her but Vera doesn't want to go. It's bad enough that Terry is in the nick, Lisa is up the spout and all the Street is looking down their collective noses at the Duckworths without the Bingo Bags pointing their fingers and all. But it's given Vera an idea and she suggests that she and Ivy go out to a club instead!

Gail is full of plans to have a romantic evening with Martin. She gets Audrey to babysit and cadges a dab of that expensive perfume that Mike bought Alma in anticipation. Audrey cautions her not to go to far, cautions which Gail scoffs at. uh oh... i have a bad feeling about this... and indeed....At school, Martin and Tony make plans to study for a test tonight! (bomb shelters ready and stocked up?)

Reg struts through Bettabuys, followed earnestly by Curly who wanted a word with Reg at dinnertime, Reg is in his usual form, jocular, expansive and condescendingly benign until Curly asks for some time off next Wednesday afternoon to be best man at Terry's wedding. Reg stops up short and scowls, worrying about the negative reflections such associations could have on Bettabuys but reluctantly allows Curly the time off anyway, exacting the price of a steak dinner as his price.

Lisa visits Terry at the prison. They chat about frocks and wedding rings and lovey dovey words are exchanged. Terry wonders if they shouldn't postpone the wedding until he's out of prison but Lisa won't hear of it. Later in the pub, she and Raquel fill Angie in on their shopping. A remark Raquel makes about Lisa's dress being a bit long doesn't go unnoticed by me and indeed we later find out that Angie has offered to do some alterations on the dress for Lisa.

After the Kabin closes, Rita takes Mavis to the pub for a drink to wind down. Mavis tells Liz she is in need of a break from all that togetherness with Derek before she breaks something else, very large (over Derek's head no doubt!) They all identify with the burden of putting up with stupid masculine pride.

Martin and Tony arrive home just as Gail is getting the children fed and organized. She is very disappointed that she's going to have to cancel their night out and does not hide her feelings throughout the night. There are sarky remarks, one after the other, during the tea she manages to scrape up and later while Martin and Tony take a beer break from their swotting.

Vera has persuaded Ivy to go out with her. Jack is having a quiet night in and Lisa is heading to Angie's. The next time we see Vera and Ivy they are in a nice nightclub that has an older clientele and 80's disco music playing. They get drinks in and toast the wedding. The waitress overhears and the three women exchange a few words and a laugh about husbands, current and exes. And who should this waitress be? You guessed it! Julie Dewhirst, the woman Don had the affair with! I don't believe Ivy ever did see her.

Ted and Rita arrive a bit later for a nightcap. Rita describes Mavis's badge incident and poor Derek's bruised ego. Ted blames himself for Derek feeling messed about. He takes Rita's hand as he reassures her about their bright if brief future just as Reg enters. He spots this gesture and with a horse-like contemptuous toss of his head, he approaches the bar, denigrating public displays of affection. (Looking like a proper idiot in his ascot tie underneath a white open-necked shirt and red v-necked jumper) He cuts off his nose to spite his face though, because in a fit of devilment, the lovely Raquel turns to Curly and kisses him on the mouth. She proceeds to Mr. Sugden and, lifting his cap, busses him on the forehead. But when she turns to Reg who begins to lean forward, she hesitates and decides she shouldn't seeing as how he feels about such displays! She and Liz giggle merrily over by the pumps over her shenanigans.

It's apparent that Ivy doesn't know Julie as she is quite friendly and open as, later, when Vera is happily boogying on the dance floor to the Pet Shop Boys "West End Girls", she chats with Julie about men disappointing the women in their lives. Ivy makes a statement about even the good ones can be trouble at times, her voice rife with painful memories. She gets change from Julie for the phone and calls home where Don is just dozing on the sofa, only back from a late shift by a half hour. He is quite amenable to pickup up the ladies but his blood runs cold when he's told they are at the TicTac Club. He asks Ivy to wait outside the club for when he comes, using troublesome parking as the excuse.

Gail continues to fire shots over the bow when Martin and Tony take a toast break yet later in the night before finally stomping off to bed. Martin takes the hint and tells an embarrassed Tony that they might as well call it a night.

Don arrives to fetch Ivy and a tiddly Vera. The ladies hop in the car but Ivy has apparently volunteered Don's services to drive someone else home, someone who's had trouble getting a cab. Yep, you guessed it again, Julie leans down to peer in the car and the faces of the pair of them drain to an ashen white as introductions are made. Not seeing anyway around it, Julie gets in the car and listens awkwardly as Ivy is affectionately complimenting Don who pretends he has no idea where Julie lives and keeps asking for directions. (Now, once should have been enough, the man's a cabby for God's sake! It would be more suspicious hearing him confirm the directions like he's doing!) But watching Julie go into her apartment building, it's evident that seeing her again has awakened old feelings in him. (Ever hear the expression, One Foot in the Grave, Don????? Sorry, i couldn't resist!)

Diane Johnston

Julie Dewhirst SU ELLIOTT Tony Stephenson JASON YATES
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by STEPHEN BUTCHER

Tuesday (3388, Monday 25 May 1992)

It's Spring Bank Holiday Monday (what a romantic name for a holiday :) and street folk are spending their free day a number of ways.

Martin begins the day with a romp with the kiddies. He and Gail later go for a stroll by the canals, stopping at a cafe for a tea and a chat. Gail apologizes for her recent behavior (snapping at Martin in front of his friend for the sin of relaxing with a few beers). They agree they should both make a bit more of an effort - Martin to act his age (he sort of *was* for once, that's what seems to have Gail upset) and Gail to be more supportive (which I will believe when I see!)

Kevin and Sally take Rursie for a day out along the canals, too, but Kevin spends much of it complaining about his lot. Here he is a mechanic, he notes, and yet when he takes his family for a day out they have to take the bus! So The Cosmic Ballet of Kev's Discontent Continues.

Andy takes the time to drop by Ken Barlow's and accepts Ken's offer to help him revise for exams. Andy tells Jim about this development. When Big Jim runs into Kenneth in the Rovers (quel surprise) he takes the opportunity to thank Ken for helpin' the young fella, and apologizes to him for their earlier misunderstanding.

Curly's holiday doesn't work out quite as he'd hoped. He drops by the Duckworths' to ensure they don't want a speech from him in his role as Best Man at Terry and Lisa's wedding, as it's to be a small do. "The only speech he needs is from his solicitor gettin' him off with less than three years hard labour," deadpans Jack. Vera, on the other hand, insists on a speech and Curly resigns himself to spending his erstwhile holiday authoring one. At the pub that evening he is joined by Gail, Martin, Kev and Sally who "help" him with the task. There is much joking about using lines like Terry being 'captive in Lisa's arms' and 'prisoner of her love'. Martin reminds everyone that in a Best Man's speech you're supposed to focus on the good things the groom has done, but when they stop to think, none of the can come up with any! "You see?" despairs Curly. Kev suggests that if he wants to go 'racy', there's always the 'coffee percolator joke'. "What's that?" asks Curly. Maybe not, says Kevin, thinking again. It's pretty strong!

The next time we see Kev he is alone at the bar, still working on his masterpiece. Reg Holdsworth vibrates into the room. Once he hears what Curly is up to, he has the hapless Best Man read the work-in-progress to him. He is appalled at the snore-inducing result. What Curly needs, says Reg, is "a bit of smut". Perhaps, he suggests, 'the coffee percolator joke'? Poor Curly is left wondering if he is the only person on earth who doesn't know this particular bit of business!

Vera spends the day basking in the reflected glory of the Bride-to-Be. Raquel comes by to give Lisa a facial and a manicure and to discuss the makeup for the big day tomorrow. Vera gets in a bottle of wine (white, of course) and they chat about weddings and marriages. In a wonderful scene, Liz reminisces about her wedding outfit. She had one of those big skirts, she says, gesturing, with all the layers of petticoats under to make them stand way out - knee-length, y'know - and a crown on her head all done with rosebuds. It was a sweet scene of reminiscence played well by Liz Dawn.

After Raquel leaves, Vera and Lisa curl up with Vee and Jacko's old wedding photos. Lisa admires how lovely Vera looked, how handsome Jack was. "Oh, aye, he looked just like Gene Autrey in them days!" agrees Vera. (Oh my! Love is... nearsighted, isn't it?) She tells Lisa she couldn't have asked for a better daughter-in-law, and how happy she is now that there's a grandchild on the way. "Tomorrow, when you walk down that aisle," says Vera tellingly, "you'll make me the happiest woman in the world!" Hmmmmmmm!

Percy is annoying Emily again today. She is angry when she sees that he has put away the photos she has been poring over, although he explains he was afraid they'd get breakfast jam on them as they were spread out all over the table. She snaps at him to kindly leave her things alone and he agrees that he should have done so. "They're out of order!" she says with much distress when she recovers them from a drawer. Lunchtime at the Rovers Percy confides to Deirdre that he's concerned about Mrs. B. - she's so forgetful lately and loses her temper so often. He acknowledges that he's certainly not easy to live with but says that he doesn't think that's all it is this time, he is genuinely worried. "Would you like me to have a word with her?" offers Deirdre. Percy enthusiastically agrees with a "Right! Let's go!" "You mean now?" asks Dreary as she hears the sound of the situation going over her head. "No time like the present!" insists Percy. "Drink up!" Emily seems pleased if a bit surprised to see Dreary and offers her a cup of tea. When Deirdre works the conversation around to how Emily is feeling, the latter replies that she's fine - in many ways she's never felt better! She seems chipper, and Deirdre later tells Ken about the visit and says that she felt silly - Emily seemed "right as rain" and must've thought she was daft going around lunchtime for a cup of tea.

Back at Emily's, however, Percy again has cause for concern. He announces that he is making supper and asks if Emily is hungry, but when he enters the dining room from the kitchen he sees Emily totally absorbed in her photos, carefully arranging dozens of them in precise rows. He speaks to her again but while she hears him and pauses briefly, cocking her head in his direction, she does not respond or meet his eyes and continues her dreamlike, obsessive motions as Percy looks on helplessly.

ronniecat

Written by MARTIN ALLEN Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Wednesday (3389, Wednesday 27 May 1992)

It's a big day on Coronation Street, at least for the Duckworths and Lisa. Don Brennan is busy washing his cab for the wedding when Curly steps out onto the street, bemoaning Terry's and Lisa's desire for a big church wedding rather than a small one at the Registry Office. At the Duckworths', Vera is a nervous wreck and nearly has apoplexy when she finds an unshaven Jack still sitting at the breakfast table. Jack mumbles that Lisa is using the bathroom, and sensing that he isn't the least bit excited about the upcoming wedding, Vera asks him to get ready and to try to smile, if not for himself, then for Lisa's and Vera's sake. As he heads for the back door, Vera demands to know where he's going, to which the response is that he has to feed his pigeons first. Raquel arrives seconds later to do Lisa's hair and make-up.

Derek is on the telephone with a prospective employer, and arranges to have a job application sent to his home address. Sally arrives with Rosie, and she and Mavis discuss the upcoming wedding. Derek doesn't understand why Terry and Lisa couldn't wait until he's out of prison, and Mavis reminds him that there's a baby on the way. This prompts her to ask Sally if she and Kevin have considered having giving Rosie a brother or sister, but Sally curtly responds that they're going to wait before having another baby.

At the Duckworths', Lisa's parents have arrived, and there is a good deal of confusion as people are crammed into the Duckworths' tiny living room. A sprig of flowers from Vera's hat sticks into Jack's face as she tries to pin a boutonniere to his lapel. Lisa enters the room, looking lovely in her white wedding gown, and everyone stops to admire the beautiful bride.

The wedding party spills out onto the street, where Don awaits with his newly-washed cab, but Lisa hangs back and spends a few last, private moments with her dad. He can't seem to help but say a few derogatory things about Terry, but Lisa hushes him, and they hug each other. Lisa leaves the Duckworths' home with her dad, everyone climbs into the cab and Vera's car, and the vehicles leave the street, horns honking.

At the church, Terry is escorted up the steps by several prison officers, but he stops for a few moments when he sees Curly arrive. He and Curly exchange a few awkward words of greeting and it's quite clear that there's no great friendship shared between the two men.

Back on Coronation Street, Emily seems to be studying groceries while Rita and Deirdre joke about the wedding. When Emily places her basket of groceries on the counter and Deirdre rings them up, she stops to ask why Emily would be purchasing baby rusks. An embarrassed Emily looks confused, and simply says that she made a mistake when she picked them up. A concerned Deirdre asks if everything is alright, and Emily, with a hint of annoyance, claims that she's just fine, and simply wasn't thinking when she chose the wrong box.

The wedding guests are seated in the church, and Jack is already complaining about the hardness of the wooden pew and the effect it is having on his backside. The wedding march begins, and Lisa comes down the aisle on her father's arm. At the front of the church, Lisa and Terry smile at each other, and the minister begins the service. Only a few words into the traditional "dearly beloved, we are gathered....." Vera interrupts to ask if Terry has to be in handcuffs. Initially the answer is that the cuffs have to stay, but Vera goes to the front of the church and begs the prison officer to consider how important the day is to Lisa and Terry. The officer relents, the handcuffs are removed, and the wedding ceremony begins again.

The punters meanwhile are at their favourite local for lunch, and Deirdre tells Percy that she's noticed that Emily seems to be getting a bit absent-minded. She wonders if he shouldn't forget spring cleaning at least for now, as it seems to be upsetting Emily, and Percy agrees, saying he'll do anything to make her happy. Kevin tells Raquel that Sally saw Lisa leaving for the wedding, and thought that she looked lovely. The ever-romantic Raquel remarks that by now, Lisa will be Mrs. Duckworth, to which Kevin responds that everyone has their own cross to bear.

Now united in marriage, Lisa and Terry come out of the church, followed by the small wedding party. The prison officer wants to put the handcuffs back on Terry, but Vera asks that he at least allow a few pictures to be taken first. Everyone jostles for wedding pictures, and Vera asks for one of the bride and groom. The camera snaps, Terry leans in and whispers to Lisa that he'll call, and before Lisa can understand the meaning of the remark, Terry makes a run for it.

Lisa stands bereft and in shock when it's clear that Terry has managed to get away, and at first she thinks that Terry was running from her. The prison officer who removed the handcuffs is angry with Vera for talking him into taking them off in the first place, and he even wonders out loud if she and Terry planned the whole escape.

Back on Coronation Street, Emily is again going through her photographs with a vacant look on her face.

The prison officer informs Vera and Jack that he will see them back at their home while Lisa's dad goes on about Terry only doing what he expected. Vera, who has been trying so hard to make this a special day, gets shirty with Mr. Horton for insulting her son, and the Hortons leave in a huff. Even though Vera has arranged for a spread of sandwiches and tasties after the wedding, everyone declines her offer to go back to the house.

At the Rover's Return, Audrey and Rita chat about Rita having a hen party, but Rita claims there isn't time, given that her wedding is to take place in a week. Audrey remembers that Alf will be busy the following night, and suggests that they have a party at her house. Rita reconsiders and decides that they can have a small get-together, providing that it's at her place. Elsewhere in the pub, Curly asks for a pint, and when asked by Raquel how the wedding went, replies that she "wouldn't believe it."

The prison officer is at Jack's and Vera's, and can't help but wonder if they planned for Terry to come back to their home. Vera denies any such thing, and the officer warns them to get in touch immediately if they should hear from him. After he leaves, Jack shows his utter disgust for the situation by saying that Terry has no brains. Lisa remains silent throughout, apparently still overcome by confusion and shock. Vera tries to convince her that everything will work out, but Lisa doesn't look convinced.

Over at the Kabin, Mavis is shirty with Derek for being late from his lunch break, reminding him that she has to go to the wholesalers and has a meeting later in the day with a stationery representative. As usual, Derek responds with petulence, stating that this is why he's so desperately looking for another job.

Emily is asleep in her easy chair when Percy arrives home. He seems both astonished and worried at the many photographs neatly laid out in rows on the dining table.

Mavis sits down with a drink to chat with Rita at the Rover's Return, and her first remark is that she's quite happy to get away from Derek for a few minutes. Rita tells her there will be another opportunity to escape from Derek if Mavis wants to attend her hen party the following night. Curly meanwhile tells Jack that everyone on the street seems to know about Terry's escape earlier in the day. Raquel can't help but feel sorry for Lisa while Curly wonders if Jack shouldn't be at home with Vera and Lisa. Jack's attitude is that if things had gone according to plan, they would all be in the pub, drinking to the health of the bride and groom, so he's going to stay.

Lisa, meanwhile, still cannot believe what has transpired and is very concerned about what will happen to Terry when he gets caught. She knew ever since she got engaged that there would be a trial, and that Terry would probably be sent to prison, but she also knew that his sentence would be finished one day and their married life could finally begin. Now she has no idea what will happen. Vera tries to console her by assuring her that Terry will be in touch, just as the telephone rings. As it turns out, it is not Terry, so Lisa heads upstairs for a hot bath.

Heather Morlan

Prison Officer: MAX SMITH Doreen Horton: ANNIE RAITT Jeff Horton: DICKEN ASHWORTH
Written by BARRY HILL Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Thursday (3390, Friday 29 May 1992)

The headline reads: "Breakaway Bridegroom - From Prison Lock to Wedlock"... In the Kabin, Mavis laments that it must be difficult for the Duckworths to endure this latest trial. Derek remains aloof, "squalid" headlines don't interest him even if they do concern the neighbours. Reg enters the shop and learns for the first time of Terry's break. He is greatly alarmed to see Mr. Watts' picture is on the front page of the paper.

At the Duckworths', Vera is also reading the report. She's mystified to read that she is quoted as saying of R Turry, "He is a very sharp lad - always was quick on the uptake". She's also puzzled as to how the reporter knew her age but when she turns to Jack he can only reply, "They have their methods, Vee". Lisa joins them at the breakfast table after a sleepless night. A knock at the door as Ivy comes to see if Vera's ready for work. She doesn't want to leave Lisa, not after what's happened. Anyway, she couldn't put up with everyone snickering and laughing behind her back. Sympathetic, Ivy agrees to make her excuses for her, but Jack points out that she'll be out of a job if she continues missing work. Vera doesn't care - if Holdsworth doesn't like it he can fire her!

Reg is at this moment confronting Curly with the morning paper. It doesn't do to have a Bettabuys Executive splashed involved in this kind of scandal - what if head office gets wind of it! Curly tries to see the bright side - at least he's not mentioned by name. After leaving No. 9, Ivy catches up to them and tells Reg the news that Vera won't be coming in. Reg says the less he hears of the Duckworths today, the better!

Back in the Kabin, Derek philosophises about the "slippery slope" the street is on. Between Steve McDonald and the "thug next door", sensationalism is becoming quite commonplace. "As for Terry Duckworth, just look at his parentage!" he exclaims. Mavis takes a more charitable view but doesn't press the point as Emily happens in just then. She looks to be slightly unwell, a fact that Mavis pays close attention to. Derek is his usual (especially lately!) oblivious self and when Emily asks for a first class stamp, he puzzles over the request. Precluding an awkward question from Derek, Mavis intercedes and gets the stamp without hesitation. Handing the stamp to Emily, she asks if she's heard about the trouble the Duckworths are having. "So *much* trouble!" laments Emily. Mavis doesn't quite know how to answer so she changes the subject to Rita's "do" tonight and asks if Emily is going. "Oh, it's tonight, is it?" she asks. Yes, she intends to be there, she says without feeling. Emily turns and leaves the shop aimlessly, Mavis gazing after her with concern. With Emily gone, Mavis turns to tell Derek that she doesn't think they should be making an issue of it if Emily wishes to buy only one stamp. Derek, however, hasn't given Emily a second thought. He's picked up on the business of Rita's hen party tonight and now tells Mavis he feels defeated at her willingness to go on treating Rita as her friend. Mavis says she thinks women are simply more forgiving than men but Derek counters, "More foolish". Giving him a stony look, she says she'll pretend she didn't hear *that*!

Detective Sgt. Mallory, pays a call on Vera and Lisa. Have they heard from Terry, he demands. Do they know where he's hiding? Vera defensively answers that she wouldn't tell him if she did know. The detective explains that it would be better for Terry if she did, but Vera and Lisa protest that they really don't know. Mallory is convinced Vera is lying since she earlier swore she hadn't talked to the papers but here now was the newspaper article telling the whole story. He reckons she sold the story to make a few bob. She asserts her innocence but adds that she would certainly like to know who *is* behind it!

Bet comes into the bar and casually asks Jack if he's had any word on Terry. "No and I don't care if I never hear from him again!" Jack answers. She assumes he's being rash but is surprised to hear the vehemence in Jack's voice as he assures her he means what he says. Mentioning Rita's do tonight, Bet says she was about to ask if he could work for her (it was to be his night off) but now she reckons he has too much on his plate. Jack tells her he'd rather be working than stuck at home where he gets nothing but blame!

In the wake of Det. Sgt. Mallory's visit, Vera is prodding Lisa to eat something when the phone rings. Vera is elated to hear R Turryís voice on the phone and calls Lisa over to talk to him. He doesn't have much time to talk, he tells Vera. Before Lisa can get to the phone, he's rung off saying he'll be in touch. Soothing the tearful girl, Vera tells her he's sure to call back.

Don comes to the door just after the call, kindly asking if there's anything he can do for them. Vera greets him with hostility, "Haven't you done enough?" She assumes he is the one who sold the photos to the paper and accuses him outright. Don is shocked by the charge and bitterly denies it. Vera remains convinced, however - there was only Don and her taking photographs and she knows it wasn't her! In anger, Don says he's leaving before he says something he might regret.

Percy is setting the table for tea when Emily comes into the house, having had a trying day with her hospital visits. He tells her tea is in the oven and praises her good work at the hospital. She tells him somewhat abruptly that she doesn't want thanks and she doesn't want any tea. Percy insists that she "must" eat something but Emily rounds on him. "Don't tell me what I *must* do in my own home!" Stunned at the outburst, Percy says he can't do anything right anymore. Emily feels a pang of regret and apologises to him. She still doesn't want any tea though, and wearily takes herself upstairs saying she's going to bed now and doesn't wish to be disturbed - "No tea and no cups of cocoa!"

Ivy has heard about Vera's accusation against "her Don" and now angrily confronts her friend. Besides the fact that Don *wouldn't* do such a thing, there's still half a roll of film in his camera right now, Ivy points out. Vera picks up her own camera to demonstrate to Ivy that her film is also still in it, proving that it had to be Don. She is shocked to discover that the camera is empty and the penny suddenly drops - Jack is the one who talked to the newspaper!

Audreh is the first guest to arrive at Rita's hen party. As Rita cheerfully sets out the refreshments, Audreh bends her ear over Alf's tight-fisted ways. Rita assumes Alf objected to Audreh getting herself a fancy new frock, but no, as Audreh tells her, it was actually over a wedding present for her and Ted! She chatters on about her idea - knowing Ted and Rita love going around and looking at stately homes as they do, Audreh thought a life membership in the National Trust would be a perfect wedding present. "After all, as I told Alfeh, it's something you could enjoy for years and years - I mean, it's for *life*, isn't it?" croons Audreh. Rita suddenly dissolves in tears, leaving Audreh to wonder what she's said to upset her. Releasing all her pent up grief, Rita tearfully confesses to Audreh that Ted hasn't got "years", he may only have months!

Ted is having a pint in the Rovers now, staying out of the way so Rita and her friends can have their girls' night in. His serenity and that of the other patrons is intruded on by Vera who bursts in and heads straight for the bar to see Jack. Enraged, she tells him she knows he's the one who sold the story and the photos to the paper. Jack, for his part, doesn't listen to her yelling for long. In anger, he justifies what he did by saying *someone* has to look out for Lisa and her baby. Terry's not going to be doing it - he'll be in jail. Lisa's father won't be doing it - he doesn't want to know. Is she (Vera) going to do it? Not if she won't even bother to turn in to work! "All right then!" she shouts. "Where is this money then?" Jack says he hasn't got it yet but he firmly intends to hold onto it once he does - there's no way he'll hand it over to her so she can give it to her "little darling"! Defeated, Vera turns to leave but spots Don standing by the bar and gives him a piece of her mind for good measure. "You knew! You all stick together, you lot!" she yells at him in a tone of disgust. Being pushed just too far, Don turns to Jack to complain, "I'm sick of your missus ranting at me!" Jack tells him he's lucky he isn't married to her!

Bet enters from the back room, all done up in her finery (shiny leopard print blouse, purse to match) and stops at the bar to tell Jack she's off. Spotting Percy, she asks if he can assure her that Emily won't be wearing the same outfit! Not "getting" the joke, Percy seems downcast, but looks up from his half to tell Bet that Emily wasn't feeling herself and won't be going tonight. He goes on to explain that Emily came home exhausted from her hospital visits earlier today. Bet promises to let Rita know but when she goes, Gail and Martin call to Percy from a nearby table to say that Emily hasn't been on the visiting committee at the hospital for some months now. Percy suggests they're mistaken but Martin is quite sure, which leaves Percy more troubled than ever about Emily's problem!

As Bet and Mavis arrive at the hen party, Rita quickly dries her eyes and tries to collect herself. Last minute warnings to Audreh in hushed tones, Ted must never know that she knows! She must tell no one - not Alf, not anyone! Audreh gives her solemn assurance that she'll keep it to herself just as Rita and Mavis enter the flat. Bet is teasing Mavis, telling Rita and Audreh that she didn't want to come without the assurance there would be a male stripper. Rita plays along, saying that he'll be along later, but for now, she wonders where Emily is. Bet repeats what Percy told her, that Emily will be giving the party a miss as she is feeling under the weather.

Reg and Curly come into the pub, ready for a drink in celebration that the news of Terry's wedding seems to have escaped head office's notice. To Curly's annoyance, Reg informs him that he's kept a copy of the paper on file for "historical interest" and "curiosity value". Despite Curly's objections, Reg is convinced they'll look back and laugh about it in years to come! Spotting Ted at his table, Reg goes over and offers to buy a drink for the bridegroom-to-be. When Ted graciously accepts the offer, Reg turns back to Curly with the drinks order for all of them. A look of cynicism from Curly and Reg cautions, "Remember, Norman - your watchword is 'discretion'!"

Detective Sergeant Mallory comes into the pub with a summons for Jack to come home. He explains he doesn't like having to repeat himself and Jack reluctantly accompanies the officer, leaving Liz in charge. Raquel speculates that they've caught Terry but Curly, remembering his "watchword", answers only, "Who?"

Vera repeats to Lisa Jack's claim about selling the story to get money for the baby. Lisa is more concerned with Terryís motives for the marriage - she wishes she could be sure he didn't only marry her to make his escape. Jack and the detective arrive home, Mallory again asking if anyone has had word from Terry. Vera insists that they haven't but Mallory doesn't believe her; she also told him she hadn't talked to any reporters but here was the story splashed across the front page of the paper. With an air of disgust, she reveals that Jack is the one who sold the story. Mallory can't resist telling Jack that he should have held out for more than the £100 he received - they were willing to pay four or five times that amount! Resuming a serious tone, the officer warns the family that there have been break-ins in the area. When Vera protests, "R Turry wouldn't do ought like that!", Mallory points out that he has to eat. "It would be in his own best interest if you let us know if he gets in touch", he warns them before leaving. "Is there a reward?", Jack asks sardonically.

In the darkness, Don unexpectedly turns up at Julie's flat. Eagerly, he tells her he was hoping she still has the same day off. "What do you want?" she asks with trepidation. "I wanted to see you", he states in earnest. Tentatively, she opens the door to admit him...

Anita Belanger

Det. Sgt. Mallory: PHIL HEARN Julie Dewhurst: SU ELLIOT
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Friday (3391, Monday 1 June 1992)

We begin where i believe we left off last episode...

Don and Julie are sitting across the room from each other. He's leaning forward in his chair seemingly straining towards her while she's sitting pressed back into her chair (body language!!) Don explains he hasn't really stopped thinking about her and was curious to find out how Julie and Ivy met. by chance, Julie had no idea it was Don's wife and no, it wasn't her way of getting back in touch with him. She makes that quite clear. A flicker of disappointment shadow's Don's face. Julie was surprised to discover how nice Ivy is after the way Don used to talk about her. Don hopefully suggests it might have been fate, them meeting up again like that. Julie quickly and firmly denies this and makes him leave as it's quite late. He is seen out in spite of another attempt to extend the visit.

The next room we see is a darkened back room at Number 3 but it's actually now morning. Percy arrives to open the curtains to let in the sunshine (must be quite a short kitchen if you can see out the back window!) He starts when he turns around because Emily is sitting in the corner of the settee in her dressing gown. He assumes she's up early but i get the feeling she's been there all night. She's distant and quite shirty with him for opening the curtains and allowing all and sundry to gape in at her. He tries to soothe her but she sighs and leaves the room.

Breakfast at the Duckworths sees Jack urging vera to go to work or she'll lose her job. She's afraid to leave the house in case Terry calls but Lisa agrees with Jack. She'll be there right by the phone after all and Jack will just be up the street a few doors if he's needed. Poor Vera is near the end of her rope with worry and can't accept Jack's insistence that it would go better for Terry if he gave himself up even though Lisa agrees with this as well. There is a lot of shouting back and forth, with accusations and insults about who does and does not care about Terry or who spoiled him rotten. You can guess...

Andy's getting ready for his English exam and is in the Kabin testing out a new pen and quoting poetry for practice. It goes over Mavis's head but not Derek's and after Andy leave with their best wishes, Derek even quotes a line or two from a couple of poems he remembers from his hot blooded youth when he used to quote it by the yard. Both poems, however are rather filled with gloom and pessimism about life and inevitable death. Mavis prefers cheerful poetry and even manages a line of her own about hearts leaping at the sight of rainbows which Derek dismisses and irrelevant prattle because life isn't like that. The only worthwhile poems are more realistic and true to life but Mavis begs to differ. Her heart really does leap at the sight of rainbows!

Ted and Rita plan a day shopping and errand-runnign for last minute items. Ted discusses his mother-hen sister Sarah and there are again words about not telling anyone, friend or family. Rita doesn't let on she's let anything out. They decide to lunch at the Rovers first.

In Bettabuys, Percy discusses the benefits of various vitamins and tonics with Reg who steers him away from those which will enhance his chances with the ladies. Percy settles on good old fashioned cod liver oil in the end but somehow i don't think he's planning on improving his own health. Around the corner of the supermarket, Curly approaches Vera, startling her. Noticing she's a rack of nerves he offers to square it with Reg so she can stay home for the rest of the week but she's fretful and impatient and snaps that she'll be all right.

In the pub, Rita extracts a promise from Audrey not only to keep the secret about Ted's condition from folk but also not to let Ted know she knows. Audrey is practically in tears with sympathy and pledges her promise. (And i know Audrey's gob is legendary but she really can be a true and loyal friend when the chips are down, i've always believed that!) She quickly puts on a smile when Ted returns with the drinks but it falters slightly when Ted offers a toast to good health. At the bar jack and Jim are both quietly worrying about their sons, RTerry on the lam from the law and Andy writing exams.

Back to Bettabuys, Vera endures a lecture from Reg about mis-shelving tins are sardines in oil too close to the sardines in tomato sauce. He shuffles off with Curly, executing a lovely skip and hop half way down the aisle while complaining about Vera's imcompetence. I half expected him to twirl in a pirouette! Another hand lands on Vera's shoulder. The poor woman had one nerve left and i think that one just jumped through her skin as she turns to see Terry, looking rumpled and unshaven (and probably needing a bath). He pretends ot shop while Vera urges him to turn himself in but he prays on her sympathies and begs her to bring him some cash so he can go to the bloke in Blackpool and talk him into dropping the GBH charges so he and Lisa can start their life together. Vera is dubious but Terry knows how to play his mother like a fiddle and pulls out the "Don't you trust me, Mum?" line and then tells her he loves her. She stops in her tracks and he repeats his need for cash, lots of it and leaves.

In the corner shop, Sally moans about losing her babysitter (Angie who is also studying for exams at college). Emily has overheard and volunteers with a wistful glance at the baby, regretting having none of her own to mind. (My first though here was that she'd probably throw the baby out with the bath water and diaper the rubber ducky in the state she's been in lately!) Sally is pleased and accepts the offer.

Andy returns home and tells his father that his exam seemed to go well, too well in fact. He's nervous because one or two of his mates found it quite difficult so worries he didn't understand it and got it all wrong. (Rest easy, lad, in my experience when it seems that easy, it usually means you've aced it!) He notices Jim struggling over the accounts and realizes the bike business really is bad but Jim dismisses it, not wanting Andy to worry.

Later at home, after observing Emily picking at her plate of a nice fish supper, Percy tries to persuade her to join him in a bracing dose of cod liver oil but she is again sharp with him and decides to have an early night. (forget something, Emily?)

Vera has told jack and Lisa boutTerry's visit and of course there's another huge argument over giving Terrythe money as opposed to making him go to the police. Jack refuses to give Vera the money he's got from the newspaper as he wanted to keep that for the baby and knows darn well Terry will only vanish after putting a thumping on the guy who's got him on charges. Vera insists she's going to help Terry. Gotta side with Jack on this one. He really does have Terry's best interest at heart, knowing Terry would only be digging himself a bigger hole by taking the law into his own hands.

Don is making up for his guilt over seeing Julie last night, big time! He's brought Ivy a large bouquet and offers to take her to dinner. Ivy, unlike most women, isn't immediately suspicious and doesn't see this as a sign that he's trying to make up for something. She's just delighted. (She's also looking rather thin in the face these days, is Lynn Perrie)

In the pub, jack is still quiet and even his nerves seem tugged as he is stroppy with Raquel when she expresses her concern. Jack refuses to update Curly on the situation with Terry, betty he now know (what's about to happen right under Curly's nose!) Mave and derek arrive and ask Jim about Andy's exam. Derek reminisces about his school days, untactfully referring to them as the best days of his life. Mavis calls him on that, as it's not very prudent to keep harking back to those "best days" when you're in front of your supposedly beloved wife! Mavis sups her drink, Derek looks hapless and chastened as usual and Curly and Jim say nowt and look away as if to say "Yep, guess you've been told, Derek mate!" LOL

Kevin realizes Sally's late meeting him, so goes to see why the babysitter hasn't yet turned up. He goes to Number 3 to see where Emily is but Percy tells him Emily's in bed having an early night. He tells an amazed kevin that Mrs. Bishop is feeling all right but when Kevin tries to insist Emily keep her committment and starts asking too many questions, Percy hustles him out the door where a perplexed Kevin wonders if Percy has finally gone round the twist!

Vera tells LIsa that she has a secret bank account with nearly 200 quid in it. She has faith in her son to do the right thing. Lisa is concered and wants to goto Bettabuys tomorrow with Vera to se Terry but Vera doesn't think it is a good idea. She doesn't know when Terry will show up and it might look suspicious. She urges Lisa to trust RTerry, Trust her too!

Diane Johnston

Julie Dewhirst SU ELLIOTT
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by ALAN MARSDEN


Originally transmitted: 3, 5, 8, 10 & 12 June 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 11 - Friday 15 October 1999
Episode Numbers: 3392 - 3396

Monday (3392, Wednesday 3 June 1992)

We start off with a blazing row between jack and Vera (who else?) over who else? Terry! The gist of it is whether to convince Terry to give himself up or let Vera give him themoeny. (Why Jack doesn't just call the police, I don't know!) Lisa hasn't much to contribute. When Terry does finally show up at the supermarket, Vera takes him through the back of the store, surprising Curly who agrees to look the other way. She takes Terry outside the back of the store to give him the money. Reg, however, spies the pair on a security camera and HE calls the police . Curly and Regt watch the proceedings on the security video. Reg is dismayed when it looks like Terry will get away before the police arrive but Lisa shows up. She pleas for confirmation that their wedding wasn't an excuse for escape. It's enough time for the authorities to drive up and after a brief chase, in slow motion (oo er!! Special effects!!!) Terry is recaptured. At home later, Jack denies shopping Terry to the police. Later in the pub Vera makes it clear that she balmes Curly and loads abuse on him.

Ivy tells Don she'd like to spend 5 days at a religious retreat. Don is taken aback at her wanting to get closer to God and a bit perplexed as to why but seems to have used this as an excuse to accuse her of moral high and mighty. Back to his old attitude again, and leaving him alone in this self-induced discontented state is going to lead to trouble, mark my words!

Mike is contemplating opening up a sideline business to the garage, selling spare motor parts. Sally appears to be intent on campaigning for Kevin to run it in her usual pushy manner.

Mavis hears from Sally about Emily's missing the babysitting night and about Percy's strange guard dog behaviour. We of course, see Percy as just a very worried friend but Emily later portrays him to a concerned Mavis as over zealous and over protective. Mavis is set to spread character-bashing against Percy around the street.

Rita and Ted are getting married tomorrow. Mavis will be there but Derek is still non-committal. He's less rude and sarcastic but seems to have sunk into pathetically depressed apathy these days, the classic wet weekend face! Alf too is perplexed at the speed the relationship has progressed, and at their age too! Possibly a touch of jealousy?

Diane Johnston

Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by ALAN MARSDEN

Tuesday (3393, Friday 5 June 1992)

We begin the day with Ted and Rita who are excitedly preparing for the Big Day as well as their upcoming honeymoon. Ted asks for a Paracetamol (that's acetaminophen, or Tylenol on the left side of the pond). This of course worries Rita, but Ted assures her he merely has a wee headache from the champagne the evening before and it's "not what you think". Just then Derek calls from the shop - he's jammed the till, Mavis is off getting her hair done, could Rita come help? Rita reminds Derek that she *is* a bit busy but he pleads. She goes off to deal with this little crisis leaving Ted to try to open the acetaminophen bottle. He is clearly having a lot of trouble with his hands, and when he finally does open the bottle all the pills spill over the table, to his distress.

In the Kabin, Bet and Curly stand by as Derek flutters over a till making a noise reminiscent of a car alarm. Rita arrives and silences the offending till with the push of a button. Curly takes the opportunity to ask about the house, despite Rita's protests that she's getting married today and has other things than jammed tills and house sales on her mind! Curly persists - the surveyor was around yesterday and noted several flaws. Rita huffs that she hopes he's not implying that house was jerry-built! Curly hastens to add that it's just damp patches and some rotting around the window sills 'cause they used the wrong wood, but he wonders if she'd consider lowering the price in light of this... Bet chastises Curly again for negotiating such things right now but Rita firmly and efficiently says she'll take £2,000 off right now, take it or leave it. Well? Curly says he'll take it and as Rita briskly marches out, wonders vaguely if he should have held out for £2,700 ! Bet suggests he's lucky to still be standing.

Curly leaves, giving Bet the opportunity to have a word with Derek about his stubbornly refusing to attend Rita's wedding. "Are you going to go round with a face like a jug of sour milk the rest of your life over not getting your way over this place?" she asks. Derek is thoughtful, even as the till jams and begins to wail again! Bet continues to lay it on the line about how selfish Derek's behavior has been and then, as she sees she's getting through to him, offers to mind the store for ten minutes... "it's a lovely cardie, Derek, but not what you'd wear to a wedding!" Derek nods, realizing Bet is right, and takes her up on her offer. "Ten minutes," he agrees, and runs off, leaving Bet to stop the till's alarm just as efficiently as Rita did with one punch of a button.

Back at Rita's flat, Ted ties his tie, pretending nothing is wrong. Rita knows there's something up, however, and finally Ted admits his hand is numb. "That's a symptom, isn't it?" asks an alarmed Rita, but Ted tries to downplay it. Rita asks Ted to try to pick up a ring from a table and when he is unable to she insists they go directly to see the doctor.

At the doctor's office a Dr. Carter agrees that Ted has experienced "a classic early symptom". Ted admits that he has noticed it for two or three days. Rita asks what will follow, saying she does not want to be sheltered from the truth. Early symptoms will include dizzy spells, headaches and numbness, says the doctor, while eventually blackouts, fits and minor strokes may occur until Ted is completely incapacitated. It's impossible to say how long Ted has, says the doctor - two months, two years. They'll monitor him closely. The doctor leaves Ted and Rita alone. They are both very shaken by this intrusion of reality, and Ted offers Rita the option of backing out of the wedding.

Meanwhile friends and family are already gathering at the registry. Alf, Audrey, Mavis and Derek are there in their Sunday best. Alf comments that he offered Emily a ride but she said she had a few things to attend to before coming along. In response to Audrey's teasing Derek huffs that he was "never really serious about not attending". Just then a young man introduces himself to the group - it's Ted's nephew Roger, the one who replaced him on the sweet sales route, taking what Derek was sure would be "his job"! Derek is decidedly huffy but Mavis covers for her silly husband. Roger introduces the group to his mother, Ted's sister Sarah.

Rita and Ted arrive and have a quiet moment in the foyer. Rita assures Ted that she would never let him down. Ted tells her she's wonderful!

The ceremony begins. Rita is in a very, very "Rita" outfit - a pale blue floor length ensemble consisting of a sequined tunic over a long skirt. There is a tiny tense moment between the bride and groom when the time comes for Ted to pick up the ring and place it on Rita's finger, but he does so without a problem. The small group of friends and family look on approvingly as the couple exchange their vows.

Back in Coronation Street, Percy is surprised to return home and find Emily still there. He thought she was going to the wedding. Emily says she decided not to go. She did leave, but on the way saw a little girl crying in the shopping precinct ... and it seemed wrong to celebrate with so much suffering in the world. Percy is of course alarmed at this strange behavior, and says that she mustn't let things like that stop her from enjoying her life. Emily says distractedly that she's okay now... she found some old letters and has been reading them - once again finding her only solace in the past. She's learned a great deal, she says. It turns out her father was in India for seven years, not five... he was a Sergeant Major, you know... such a good man! "I'm sure he was, Mrs. Bishop," says a concerned Percy gently.

At the wedding reception, Audrey (who of course is the only one besides Ted and Rita aware of Ted's terminal illness) has a quiet word with Rita. Is Rita all right? Rita assures Audrey she is. Just then, Ted's sister Sarah comes by to have her own quiet word with Rita about how happy Ted seems with her. After his illness they were all concerned, she says, but now with Rita by his side Sarah is grateful for his "full recovery" and predicts they will have a long and happy retirement together. Rita smiles and thanks Sarah but looks stricken when Sarah moves on.

Back at the Duckies' house, Lisa comes home after visiting Terry. She tells Vera that Terry told her he didn't plan to take the runner and that he really did want to marry her. Vera tries to be optimistic about this, at least, but Lisa is clearly depressed and begins to cry about the situation.

Back at the wedding reception, Alf takes the time to shake Ted's hand and jokes with him about getting back into the matrimonial game. They say married men live longer, says Alf, but he's not sure he believes it, and he jokingly warns Ted about "digging an early grave for himself" by taking a wife. Ted laughs and takes Alf off to buy him a drink. Audrey is mortified at Alf's unintentional faux pas and apologizes to Rita about it. Rita is gracious and says that at least she knows that Audrey didn't spill the beans to Alf about Ted's illness - not with Alf making a comment like that! But now it's time for the happy couple to take their leave and everyone gives them a merry farewell with confetti and streamers, and tears from Audrey which everyone interprets as her being sentimental.

While one marriage is being celebrated another is being threatened as Don goes round to visit Julie Dewhurst. Julie reluctantly lets him in for what he promises will be a brief visit.

Wedding guests and other regulars have gathered at the Rovers for an evening sup. Ivy buttonholes Curly in a booth and gives him an earful about how hard Vera is having it, what with Terry being caught and back behind bars. Someday when Curly is married and has children he'll understand these things, she says patronizingly. If it makes Curly feel better, says Saint Ivy, _she_ thinks he did the right thing, calling the police 'round to arrest Terry. "Thanks, you don't know what that means to me," replies Curly sarcastically.

Back at Casa Dewhurst, Julie is putting on makeup and preparing to go out. She tells Don she's seeing other people. Don thinks they can still see each other, too. How about Monday? Julie's going to visit her sister. Another day? Next week is... difficult. Don says that Julie isn't making it easy for him. "Why should I?" asks Julie defiantly.

Back at the pub, Curly is now sharing his booth with Bet, who is taking her turn having a go at him, this time for haggling with Rita over the price of the house, and on her wedding day! Curly protests that Rita was going on honeymoon, he needed to get his mortgage straightened out, what was he to do? He finally explodes that single people have problems, too! before stalking off to the bar. Once there, he is approached by Jack, who wants to have yet another word about Curly turning Terry in. "Best thing you ever did," says Jack. Even if Curly's name is mud with Vera, Jack is glad Terry's safe inside for a good long time, and Curly's a "saint" for putting him there. Curly finally blurts out that "I didn't shop your Terry!" "Oh?" asks a surprised Jack. "Who did?" After a second's hesitation, Curly replies "Reg. Reg Holdsworth. Now will you, Ivy, Vera, and anyone else who wants to put their two pence in, Get Off My Back!" With that he finishes his pint, and storms out!

ronniecat

Dr. Carter: EAMONN RILEY Roger Brookes: NIGEL CARRINGTON Sarah Brookes: ZULEMA DENE Registrar: GEOFFREY ANNIS
Written by MARTIN ALLEN Directed by ALAN MARSDEN

Wednesday (3394, Monday 8 June 1992)

Another morning on the street begins with a very domestic scene, as Curly searches for a pair of matched socks and complains about buttons missing from his shirt while Angie has a heated discussion with someone on the telephone. After hanging up, Angie complains about her hectic life, with exams coming up as well as a fashion show the following week. Curly makes it clear that he's still upset about being blamed for Terry's arrest outside of Bettabuys.

Coincidentally, Jack and Vera are discussing the same topic over the breakfast table. Jack has been trying to convince Vera that Reg was the one who called the police, but Vera doesn't believe that, and given the mysterious workings of Vera's mind, she concludes that it must have been Curly and Jack, working together to ensure Terry's arrest. Her justification for coming to this conclusion is that when she last saw Reg in the Kabin, he didn't let on that anything was amiss. Lisa, who is tired of the constant argy-bargy, gives up and goes back to bed.

At the Corner Shop, Deirdre asks Audrey for details of Ted's and Rita's wedding, but instead of learning anything, Audrey lights into Alf for his remark at the reception. A bewildered Alf explains to Deirdre that all he said was that Ted would be having "the life of Riley" now that he's wed.

Reg spews his tea when Curly tells him that he told Jack that it was Reg, and not him, who "bubbled" Terry. Reg's attitude is that Curly "bubbled" him by spilling the beans to Jack. Outside his office, Reg makes a point of avoiding Vera, but when she hollers at him that she "wants a word," he changes tactics and tells her he wants to see her in his office at 2:00 PM.

Jack, meanwhile, is trying his best to impress Raquel with stories of how suave and attractive he was as a young man, or, as he used to be called, "Jack the Lad." According to him, women used to wait for his entrance, and he compares himself to "Alf," as portrayed by Michael Caine. Unfortunately, all his attempts are futile, as Raquel is oblivious (and clueless) to his overtures.

Don Brennan comes into the Rover's Return and orders an orange juice, his reason for avoiding alcohol being that he's working. He's very nicely dressed and groomed, but claims it's all an effort to impress the boss' wife, whom he'll be taxiing around that afternoon. At a nearby table, Mavis asks Deirdre about Emily, and is told that Emily is apparently down with a bug. Mavis is still very upset that Emily didn't show up for Rita's wedding.

A few doors away, Percy is doing his best to talk to a doctor on the telephone, but his efforts are frustrated when Emily comes into the hall. She's obviously very confused about what day it is, she can't find her gloves, she's wearing a mismatched muffler, and she believes that it's her turn to work at the tea counter at the hospital, even though she hasn't worked there for months. Percy removes the muffler while telling her that she's confused about the day, and gently leads her to the living room couch while offering to make a nice cup of tea. He even removes her shoes, but a confused Emily tells him that she's extremely worried about Rita, and really must go and talk to her about the wedding. Percy assures her that she can talk to Rita another time, and heads for the kitchen to make tea.

Later in the day, Percy answers the door to find an indignant Mavis, who demands to speak to Emily. Percy asks her to keep her voice down, as Emily has gone back to bed, but he desperately wants to talk to Mavis about Emily's health. Mavis, who believes that all of Emily's recent bouts of strange behaviour have to do with Percy's need to control her, won't give him the opportunity to explain his concern, and instead of getting her attention, Mavis leaves in a huff.

Andy and Paula discuss their plans for the holidays in the MacDonald's living room. Paula wants to tour Europe, but Andy will have to look for a job. Their intimate moment is interrupted by Steve, who asks if Paula's parents know that she's with Andy.

While Reg waits for Vera to arrive at his office, he accuses Curly of "stirring things up," but before Curly can argue the point, Vera arrives. Curly tries to duck out of the confrontation, but Vera asks him to stay, saying that she wants a witness. She then goes on to tell Reg that when Terry finds out who shopped him, he'll be looking for him when he eventually gets out of prison. In an incredible verbal two-step, Reg claims that it's "company policy" to report anything untoward that might be picked-up by the video surveillance system. He points out that Terry is a felon, and the son of a Bettabuys employee, so he was only acting in Vera's best interests when he called the police, since he knew it would save her many sleepless nights, worrying about Terry's whereabouts. Then he reminds Vera that the threats she just uttered could be used against her in a court of law. Having been thoroughly bamboozled by Reg, Vera can only wonder out loud how he would feel if he were in her position, accuses him of twisting her words, and leaves in a defeated mood.

Percy is in a crowded hospital waiting room, and asks the receptionist if he can speak to a doctor. The receptionist asks to know the nature of Percy's medical problem, and he explains that he's fine, but he needs to speak to someone about a friend. He doesn't have an appointment, and the receptionist won't give him one if it isn't for himself, so she suggests that he try his best to convince his friend to make the appointment herself. A defeated Percy leaves the hospital, no closer to finding help for Emily.

Angie is not impressed when she hears Curly arrive home with Reg in tow. Reg is full of himself at the "blinder" he pulled on Vera, and while he chuckles and repeats part of his convoluted argument, a disgusted Angie asserts that she's very fond of Vera. Curly tries to warn Reg that Vera won't give up that easily, but Reg isn't worried. Instead, he wants Curly to talk to Vera and tell her that she has to change her attitude if she wants to continue working at Bettabuys.

Over at the Duckworth's, a frustrated Vera tells Ivy of how badly she was treated that afternoon by Reg. She's even angrier that she has no one to talk to about her frustrations when she gets home. Ivy has Don, but there's no way that Vera can ever expect Jack to sympathize over anything having to do with Terry.

Don waits outside Julie's apartment building, and when she emerges looking for her cab, she is surprised to find him there. She asks if he's the only cab-driver in Weatherfield, and Don tries to put his presence there down to sheer coincidence. Julie explains that she needs a lift to her sister's place, where she plans to spend the evening, and Don offers to pick her up later, when she wants to go home.

Back at the Rover's Return, Audrey and Deirdre are having a drink. Deirdre doesn't understand why Audrey was so angry at Alf for his remark at the reception, and when she goes on to say that she "knows more" than Audrey thinks, Audrey immediately concludes that Deirdre is aware of Ted's health problems. When Deirdre explains that she *knows* that Audrey probably thinks that Alf is jealous of Ted marrying Rita, since Alf and Rita used to be romantically involved, Audrey realizes that Rita's secret is safe, so she allows Deirdre to conclude that that was the source of her irritation.

Elsewhere in the bar, Curly is holding forth on the role of leadership in the workplace, causing Alf to find another place to enjoy his drink. Mavis tells Derek that she's not going to pre-judge Emily for missing Rita's wedding because she still believes that her absence had something to do with Percy, controlling her life. Derek muses that perhaps Emily's absence was a plea for help -- an S.O.S. (Sling Out Sugden). Vera bursts in, and seeing Curly propping-up the bar, she tells him that as far as she's concerned, Reg humiliated her that afternoon, so he needn't look for her tomorrow, as she's quitting her job with Bettabuys. Curly looks dumbfounded as the music comes up to end another episode.

Heather Morlan

Receptionist: JOYCE KENNEDY Julie Dewhurst: SU ELLIOTT Paula Maxwell: JUDY BROOKE
Written by TOM ELLIOTT Directed by JULIAN FARINO

Thursday (3395, Wednesday 10 June 1992)

Jack is angry that Vera's packed in her job for financial reasons. Vera hopes to take the time to spend with Lisa and the baby but Lisa insists she'll be just fine so Vera ends up changing her mind and goes down to No7 to tell Curly. She finds him on a stool with one of Angie's plaid frilly creations on him, while she makes adjustments. She tells him she's changed her mind and not to tell Reg she had decided to quit. He agrees and later in the supermarket is badgered into letting her have some time off to visit Terry at dinnertime.

Derek peruses job ads in a posh magazine, leaving Mavis to do all the work. Mavis gets more aned more testy. Percy comes by and reacts as if Mavis has given him the third degree about Mrs. Bishop and how he's taking care of her.

Don is charged with an errand for Ivy, picking up the dry cleaning but when he's near the shop he sees Julie on the pavement with her shopping and drives her home instead. Things seem to be on a friendly footing but Don manages to finagle himself a dinner invitation, skiving off both work and Ivy's errand. After they eat, he pretends to assure her he only wants to be friends, just friends and Julie makes sure he knows the meaning of the word platonic. She is unmarried and plans to enjoy the company of all her friends including her many male mates. She hustles Don off as she has to get ready for work.

Andy is making plans to travel around Europe this summer with Paula. He and Steve discuss possible birthday presents from their parents. Andy wants a rail pass for 180 quid but Steve would prefer the cash alternative. When Andy later broaches the subject to his father, Jim hangs his head, shuddering at the cost of £360 and pessimistically tells Andy to wait and see.

We later find out that Ivy is planning a slap up meal for Don in celebration of their wedding anniversary before she goes away on the retreat. When next we see Don, it's tea time and he's gazing guiltily up at the crucifix on the wall while Ivy reminds him of their dinner plans for Friday. She seems to show a bit of hesitation leaving him alone for 5 days but dismisses it. (She's going to wish she hadn't!)

In the pub, Raquel learns that Scottish Wine is really scotch whiskey and Mike chats to Sally and Kevin about raising the money from investors to run this new spare parts business. Sally mentions Emily's no-show baby sitting duty the other night and Mike later asks after Emily in the corner shop where Dierdre informs him that as far as she knows. Emily is feeling fine. Back to the pub, Jim is dejected, supping his pint and worrying about things financial. We later see him wandering around in his garage.

Mike goes to visit Emily and asks her to come work for him in his new business. She seems quite her old self but declines politely as the improvements in book keeping methods, i.e. computers, would probably be beyond her. She does offer to front Mike £10,000 when he mentions that he's looking for investors, which was probably the whole reason for this visit.

That night in the pub, Curly gets a load of teasing once Vera reveals that he was playing model for Angie. On the way home, later on , Kevin notices a light on in Jim's garage. As it's gone 10, he decides to check it out but finds Jim there, shuffling papers. Jim admits that the business has gone under and he's going to have to sell up. All his hopes and dreams, meager as they were, are gone up in smoke. He is regretful and ashamed that he didn't see the failure coming and dreads having to tell his lads that there will be no money for birthday presents this year.

Diane Johnston

Written by PHIL WOODS Directed by JULIAN FARINO

Friday (3396, Friday 12 June 1992)

Don comes to the table this morning expecting toast but is greeted instead by an anniversary card from Ivy. They had agreed not to get anything so he's a bit embarrassed (guilty?) but Ivy hastens to say there's no need - she just wanted to thank him for his faith and understanding, without which she doesn't think there'd be anything to celebrate today.

Vera brings in the morning mail and Lisa is disappointed that her mother still hasn't been in touch. "Weren't they going to Tenerife?" Vera asks. Lisa says they ought to be back by now. Vera leaves for work with Ivy, telling Lisa not to worry, they're bound to contact her soon!

As they get into Vera's car, she wishes Ivy a happy anniversary and asks what Don got her. Ivy says she didn't want anything, she and Don are having a nice meal out tonight to celebrate.

As they go off, Alma crosses the street to speak to Mike. She's a bit worried that he's borrowing money off Emily Bishop - worried about what people will think. Mike assures her he isn't taking advantage - he'll make sure Emily knows exactly what she is letting herself in for before making any deals.

Still in the street, Jim sees Andy leaving the house and goes over to have a word with him. Asked where he's headed, Andy sarcastically replies, "Nothing much, just going to rearrange my whole summer". Jim gives him a blast, but soon softens, apologising again for not having the money to buy a Euro-Rail ticket. His explanation that business has been bad doesn't elicit much sympathy from Andy.

Mavis comes into the Corner Shop for some teabags. She and Deirdre compare notes on Emily, deciding between them that an overdose of Percy is what's ailing their friend. He means well, they agree, but look at how he nearly drove her out of her own home last year!

Meanwhile, Percy, who has been doing some ironing, comments to Emily that it's about time for a cup of tea. She interprets the obersvation as nagging and is prompted to sigh wearily that she'll put the kettle on. As she goes into the kitchen, she is shocked to see what Percy is ironing - her blouses! He was just finishing up for her, he explains defensively. Emily tells him that she is quite capable of doing her own ironing, which leads the vexed Percy to give up in favour of going out "for a breath of air".

In the bike shop, Jim is explaining the money situation to Steve. To his relief, Steve says not to worry, he knows the score and Jim thanks him for being so understanding.

The 'Ortons are back from their Tenerife vacation and now call in at the Duckworths' to see Lisa, having received her note about Terry.

Mike pays a visit to Emily, to formalize their business agreement. She seems to be confused at first but with a gentle reminder from Mike, she remembers what they discussed and goes to get her cheque book.

In the Corner Shop, Percy confides his worries about Emily to Deirdre. "She's right as rain one minute and snapping me head off the next", he says. Deirdre tentatively broaches the question of whether Emily could use some time "away". "You mean a holiday?" he asks. "Well, it's none of my business but I was thinking more of you moving out for a spell..." she explains. "You're right - it is none of your business!" he replies indignantly. Citing the fact that Mrs. Bishop "needs" him, he leaves the shop in a state of upset.

Jack comes home in the middle of the 'Ortons talk with their daughter. He stops at the door long enough to pick up the gist, they are trying to persuade her to come home to Blackpool. Affronted at the perceived suggestion that he and Vera haven't been seeing to Lisa's needs, he now barges in and defends her right to stay. Jeff 'Orton points out to Jack that a baby will disrupt his entire life, causing Jack to switch his position and tell Lisa her parents are right. In walks Vera, who immediately sizes up the situation and takes up for Lisa, calling Jack a "Judas"! He protests that he was only thinking of Lisa and the baby - he's afraid they won't be able to cope once the baby arrives. "We'll cope all right!" she says with determination. "Nobody is going to drive R Lisa and our grandchild out - nobody!"

Emily and Mike are discussing the terms of their business arrangement when Percy comes in. Emily makes it clear that they desire privacy so Percy sullenly takes himself into the kitchen to put the kettle on. Overhearing Mrs. Bishop as she makes out the cheque to Mike in the amount of £10,000, Percy rushes back in to register his protest. She tells him firmly that she doesn't welcome his interference and she wishes he would stay out of her life! Under protest, Percy leaves her to it. Mike asks again if she's sure she wants to go through with the loan and she again assures him she does. She signs the cheque and hands it over to him as he grins broadly on completion of the deal.

Curly is off to the Rovers and asks Angie if she'll join him. She doesn't want to break away from her studies as her "whole life" hinges on her exam results in two weeks so she insists he go without her.

In the swank restaurant Ivy has chosen for their anniversary dinner, Don complains that they could have a week's vacation for what this is going to cost. Never mind, Ivy wants them to have an evening to remember. Besides, how often do they splash out like this? Anyway, she's paying and she just wants him to enjoy it. Seeing the price of a pint of bitter, he swallows hard rather than spoil things for Ivy.

When Mike joins Deirdre in the pub, she offers a toast to a happy marriage with Alma. She jokingly tells him she hopes this one will last longer than his marriage to Jackie and he assures her in earnest that it will. He can't imagine his life without Alma and she can believe he means it because it's what he wants - and he *always* gets what he wants!

Vera tries to cheer Lisa up by taking her to the Rovers for tea. In a bid to comfort the girl, she says she is sure her parents will "come around" by the time the baby is born.

Back at the ritzy restaurant, Ivy is enthusing to Don how much she appreciates him, that she was a fool to ever oppose Gail and Martin's marriage and Martin's adoption of the grandkiddies. Time was, she didn't think they would see this night. Embarrassed (guilty?) over her gushing, Don pleads with her to stop talking. But Ivy just sees the fact they *can* talk as more cause for celebration. "Then why do you have to go on this retreat?" he asks. To give thanks, and meditate on her relationship with God, she explains. "The Church gives me strength to carry on, Don. It's my faith that keeps me going, you understand that don't you?" she smiles. From Don's stoney face and reply of a grunt, it appears he has trouble understanding.

At the end of the day, Percy offers Emily her usual night time cup of cocoa. She thanks him coolly but says if he's waiting for an apology for what she said earlier, he's out of luck. He admits to being hurt by her inference that he's trying to run her life but Emily argues that she has to come to that conclusion as he is constantly telling her what to do! "I just want to be left alone to get on with it!" she explains. "I've come to the same conclusion, Mrs. Bishop", says Percy sadly, "I feel the sooner I go, the better..."

Anita Belanger

Mrs. Horton: ANNIE RAITT Mr. Horton: DICKEN ASHWORTH
Written by BARRY HILL Directed by JULIAN FARINO


Originally transmitted: 15, 17, 19, 22 & 24 June 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 18 - Friday 22 October 1999
Episode Numbers: 3397 - 3402

Monday (3397, Monday 15 June 1992)

I must say it was a very enjoyable episode today, featuring Emily's further descent into depression and a revelation for Alma.

We start off with Deirdre claiming the theme for today is guilt! Alf snorts, You don't know from guilt!!! He rants about how food is equal to guilt in his life these days, what with his heart and blood pressure and his love of food. Deirdre explains that she's feeling guilty about telling Percy he should move out. After all it is his home so what gives her the right to interfere. Alf quite correctly points out that Percy would have no compunctions interfering in her life. Just then Tracy rushes in all bothered because her mother forgot to hem her skirt. Had she known, she could have done it herself (teenagers!) More guilt! Tracy typically moans and groans accusing her mother of not caring if she dresses like she shops at Oxfam and decides to ask Auntie Emily to do it instead, ignoring Deirdre's weak attempts to discourage this plan. If you ask me, Oxfam is too good for that hideous purple rag Tracy was waving around.

Andy and Steve have received 50 entry tickets as a promotional gift for a new club. It's a gimmick to get newly minted 18 year olds into the club to spend their birthday money on their first legal and expensive drinks in that establishment. A free bottle of wine (more likely vinegary plonk) to lure them only it will cost them 30 of their entry tickets! Jim still thinks they should take advantage of anything going free.

Emily is mithering Percy who is gathering his bits and bobs, getting ready to move out to a B&B. Emily doesn't remember that he's leaving or why. While she contemplates her egg (hard boiled in an eggcup, of course!) Percy answers the door and lets Tracy in. Emily finds a smile but is confused, thinking Tracy is home from school already. Tracy asks her to hem the skirt and Mrs. Bishop kindly agrees though Percy tries to put her off, saying Emily has enough on her plate but Emily insists it's no trouble. After Tracy leaves, we see Emily staring through a fog wondering why Tracy isn't in school, perhaps it's Saturday already? Poor Percy is worried sick as am i!

Don's sick as well, lovesick! Ivy has gone retreating and man, the exhaust from the taxi must still be in the air but Don's on the phone to Julie, inviting her out for a drive and a picnic in the country. He makes it out to be spontaneous, not wanting to work on a nice day and will she join him? Just friends of course. He might even mention it to Ivy if the subject comes up! When he hangs up the phone, having convinced her to go along, his tongue is practically hanging out in anticipation! He repeats his assurances later when he picks her up. She's skeptical but goes along just the same.

Alma seems to have something on her mind, wittering on about how some people just hate you and you have no idea why. She won't elaborate to Gail at that time but serves Andy and Paula who have just finished their English exam and are having tea and toast and discussing Andy's inability to go with her training around Europe this summer. Later on when the cafe is quiet? Closed? Alma admits to Gail that she's still obsessing about Jackie Ingram naming her on the divorce petition (even though her name is no longer there and that was weeks ago anyway!) Why would she hate Alma that much when it wasn't true at all..... yadda yadda yadda. You know the drill. It's obviously a set up, glaringly so when Gail dismisses it as water under the bridge now and anyway, it's not as if you're going to talk to her about it, right? Right? Wrong! Oh Alma! Alma just can't stand having someone hate her for no reason. She won't have a problem with me then, at the moment i am growing to hate her for a very good reason! LOL! Actually i generally always did like Alma except when she's being so stupid and falling for an obvious set up like this!

Now for the best scene of the day, a real jewel...

Emily is sitting at her table, looking disastrous with wild hair, no makeup and bags under her eyes. She's wringing her hands with increasing agitation at Percy who's puttering in the kitchen making dinner. She's coiled like a spring and Poor Percy is desperate for a solution, anything he can do to ease her troubles. She doesn't even remember why he's leaving. He joins her at the table, wishing he knew what she wanted, one minute she can't stand him in the house and the next she seems to need him. She tears at her hair and covers her face, pitiably at a loss. She practically wails with frustration of being expected to know *everything*! She despairs that she'll be stuck there on her own. Percy promises to visit but she starts rambling rather hopelessly about not much to look forward to at their age. He understands the feeling but does his best to fight it when he is overcome with similar thoughts. But it's very hard work sometimes, he admits. She asks him to stay, she doesn't want him to go. He assures her he's still her friend and gladly accepts. They exchange shy smiles but she switches moods again, impatiently begging him not to clatter about the kitchen so much!

This just breaks my heart to see the old man at a loss and worried sick. He isn't close enough to her to insist she see a doctor and all her friends think he's to blame, getting on her nerves when he knows there's something seriously wrong this time. Eileen Derbyshire is putting in a stunning performance as a woman slowly breaking down and descending into the bewildering fog of depression and Bill Waddington conveys much more than Percy's usual fussy interfering side.

Don and Julie are laying on a blanket on a hillside overlooking a valley with a lovely blue lake at the bottom. He witters on about how he can be himself with her, can trust her not to wreck the day by jumping down his throat if he says the wrong thing that might offend the Holy Writ. He raises himself up on one elbow while she lies there, eyes closed against the glare of the sun. He maintains the pretence of "Just friends" but there's a gleam of the sex maniac in his eye and sure enough he leans down for a kiss. Next thing you know he's climbing on top of her but she pushes him off gently. She suggests they go for a walk instead, reminding him she only wants to be friends. And lady, you're only leading him on with mixed signals. You knew how he felt!

Emily is still where we last saw her, still at the table. Tracy returns to Emily's for her skirt which is still laying across the table, untouched. (I wouldn't touch it either, ugly thing, that!) Tracy moans, Emily says she'll do it now, Percy takes the blame and Tracy struts out in a huff, skirt in hand over to the shop to moan some more at her mother who finally tells her she should have done it herself, How old are ya? Tracy's accusations, "I'll have to wear me old skirt now and look like a dog as usual, as if you care!" have me in stitches. You ought to see her hair! It's in a ponytail off the top of her head, encased in some ratty white 4 inch high clip or elastic thingy. Dog? No, Horse's tail? Yes! Snotty brat! She swans back out of the shop. Poor Alf gets to moan too, as Audrey has bought a new outfit for Alma's wedding when she's only just had a new one last week for Rita's. Alf just doesn't understand!

Martin mentions to Gail that he stopped to ask Don for tea but Don was nowhere around. Working, they guess. Gail tells Martin that Alma's gone to see Jackie Ingram. Martin wonders if it's going to be handbags at 20 paces!

Alma is in full battle makeup and wearing her best suit (and matching handbag!) and has arrived at Jackie's door.

Aside: There's a gray Porsche (i think) in the driveway with the vanity plate "PETR" on it. Peter? Ingram? He's been dead 2 years, has she not changed it yet?

Anyway, after that little distraction i pay attention again. Jackie is surprised to see Alma who wants a word if possible. It won't take long so Jackie reluctantly allows her in.

Meanwhile Mike is in the Rovers telling Kevin that he's got the financing for the spare parts business. Jim tells Liz he's going to have to sack Steve since he's already paying his salary out of his army pension. There just isn't enough work and it'll drag them all down if that keeps up. Alec appears to be Mike's best man (i suppose for lack of a proper friend, a business associate or neighbour will do) and is having trouble with his speech. Mike doesn't want any references to his past with Ingrams, or his ex wives, or his illegitimate children. Kiss of death, that. Forget Baldwin's Casuals, that's history and the garage isn't exactly sexy wedding fodder either. Alec is at a loss. Well, Mike puts forth, just talk about positive aspects of my life, jazz it up and throw in a few jokes. Ah, Alec dryly quips, it's only a few quick words you'll be wanting, then! LOL!

Back at Jackie's, Alma earnestly explains that she really didn't have anything to do with Jackie and Mike's marriage break up. Jackie gets to spew some venom at Mike's expense as only a woman scorned can do, expressing pity when Alma reveals she is marrying Mike on Friday. But Alma brings up her innocence again and wants to know why Jackie hates her so much, Jackie exclaims forcefully that it was Mike that wrecked their marriage. She figures Alma is probably a very nice woman really but she then fires a shot that hits it's target fully.... Alma's name was not on the original draft of the divorce petition. Mike had her added and then came crawling back a few weeks later to have it removed. She accurately guesses that he had convinced Alma to marry him by that time. Alma is stunned and hangs her head to hide her shock. Jackie takes pity and advises Alma that she ought to run very far very fast away from Mike. It's not too late....

Diane Johnston

Julie Dewhirst SU ELLIOTT Jackie Ingram SHIRIN TAYLOR
Written by STEPHEN MALLATRATT Directed by IAN WHITE

Tuesday (3398, Wednesday 17 June 1992)

Curly gets up to discover Angie has fallen asleep at her drawing board. He tells her she can't carry on like this, and sends an exhausted Angie to bed.

Liz goes by the Rovers to ask if there are any extra hours going. Bet says there's nothing, but offers to lend money if Liz and Jim are having trouble. Liz denies things are "that bad" and says she doesn't want to get into that trap, but she appreciates the offer. Meanwhile, over at the bike shop, Big Jim's depressed about the boys organizing their own 18th birthday party on "a wing and a prayer". Steve says Jim is taking it harder than the twins are, and he says they'll make it fine; they've got a free venue and they'll manage to make the rest up. It's worse than that, Jim says - he has to lay Steve off. He can't afford the wages anymore. As he breaks the news to Steve Jim suddenly explodes in frustration, kicking things over and rushing out of the shop.

Jack goes around to Don's to mooch for a tenner to put on a hot horse. Don gets the spark of an idea and has Jack call in to Don's work to say that Don will be in late. Jack does so, assuming he is arranging for Don to go to the track, but instead, before Jack can hang up, Don is off - to see Julie.

The pair talk in Don's car, where he apologizes for making a play for her earlier. He also tells Julie that he wants to be with her, for real and for good. This time, he says, he is prepared to leave Ivy. He asks her to think about it and stresses that he is offering her "everything".

Don returns to the house to find Ivy there, to his absolute astonishment. (If my husband greeted me in the hallway with an expression on his face like Don's I would begin looking for either the live body in the bed or the dead one in the bathtub.) He stands open-mouthed as she tells him she missed him and gives him a warm embrace. They go out to the Rovers where Ivy is very happy and romantic... in fact, she says that one of the priests at her retreat commented on how happy Ivy looked and suggested that Don and Ivy renew their wedding vows!

Gail's run off her feet because Alma's not in today. She calls Audrey, who goes round to Alma's to hear the sorry news - that Jackie Ingram has told Alma that it was Mike, not Jackie, who named Alma in their divorce. Alma now realizes that all Mike's talk about how he convinced Jackie to take Alma's name off the divorce papers were blatent lies to make him seem a hero to Alma! Alma notes that Jackie made her feel very small because Jackie had such dignity - and because Jackie sussed Mike Baldwin out a long time ago!

Later when Audrey has joined Gail to work in the busy cafe, Mike himself bounces in and grabs a sandwich to take upstairs to Alma. Audrey is ready to confront him, but Gail tells her to leave it and let Mike and Alma work it out... which they do! Alma says not a word as Mike proffers the sandwich and a little something extra - a string of pearls he has bought her for their wedding tommorrow - "for luck". Alma slaps him in the face. "You Pig!" she spits. "It's not luck you'll need tomorrow - it's a bride. Because I'm telling you, I won't be there, mate!"

There follows a brilliant scene as we pan across the cafe where patrons are staring in rapt attention at the ceiling as they listen to Mike and Alma's screaming fight in the apartment upstairs. Even Gail and (less surprisingly) Audrey are frozen by the auditory spectacle as every word is clearly heard. Everyone quickly busies him or herself when they hear Alma order Mike out for the last time and the apartment door slams. Mike hurries out of the cafe, not making eye contact with anyone.

Alma finally comes down to work and Gail rather uncharacteristically defends Mike, saying that either Jackie might be lying as Mike claims, or even if she is telling the truth it only proves that Mike loves Alma all the more! Raquel comes by with a wedding gift and chatters on and on about the upcoming nuptials and possibly taking over Alma's apartment as Alma just grits her teeth. As she goes on and on, the phone rings and Gail calls Alma to it, saying "it's Mike". "Ooh, tell 'im I'm a model tenant," chirps the blonde bombshell. Alma picks up the phone and slams it into the cradle without a word while Raquel watches in astonishment - so much for the "model tenant"!

Mike calls Alma repeatedly but she listens to his calls on the answering machine, not picking up. During his last call, Mike finally tells the truth to the machine... adding that it sounds pathetic now, but at the time he wanted Alma to need him. Alma listens to the message, and Mike's pleas for her to pick up the phone, impassively.

Percy awakes to discover he can't find Mrs. Bishop. Her handbag is open on the hall table but she's nowhere to be found. Percy's concerned inquiries about her are met with lack of concern or even outright hostility from some of his neighbours who think he is being posessive and smothering of Emily. He is nearly in tears with despair as he pleads with Alf and Deirdre that they don't understand - Emily is not well! They apparently finally listen to him as he details Emily's recent odd behavior, for when we next see him he's being offered a drink of water by a sympathetic Alf, Sally and Deirdre who now understand the gravity of the situation. Poor Percy's military thoroughness finally comes in truly useful as he organizes the other three with useful leads and a reporting system. A full scale search for Mrs. Bishop is soon underway.

Alf and Percy go down by the canals where they see Emily sitting alone on a park bench in her pink bedroom slippers! They join her and she rambles on about how she tried to take a bus but then realized she didn't have the fare ("I told him 'I've lost me bag,'" she says) and tried to convince the driver she would pay it tomorrow. Percy gently suggests they should go home now.

Emily is brought back home and a doctor comes round to see her. Emily tells the Doctor she is tired all the time, and suggests perhaps a tonic would make her better. The Doctor tells Emily's concerned friends that a psychiatric admission is not necessary as Emily appears as no danger to herself. Alf explodes that she went off in her slippers without a thing to her name - surely she needs help! (He adds the obligatory, "I'm a Councillor, you know!" which no doubt made the good doctor tremble to her very caduceus.) The Doctor goes on to assure Alf that she intends to admit Emily to a medical ward and if it turns out she needs psychiatric counselling she will be transferred. Alf and Percy volunteer to drive Em to the hospital.

ronniecat

Julie Dewhurst: SU ELLIOTT Dr. Joyce Wightman: BARBARA DRYHURST
Written by PAUL ABBOTT Directed by IAN WHITE

Wednesday (3399, Friday 19 June 1992)

Another wedding day, but this one begins ominously with Mike banging on the Cafe door. Upstairs, Alma, who is dressed in her housecoat, hears the noise but doesn't respond.

At the Rover's Return, a nervous Alec asks Bet to listen to his wedding speech, but she's in a rush to do some last-minute shopping for a new hat for the occasion. Alec sputters and complains about the expense, but Bet won't be dissuaded from her mission. As she leaves, she bumps into Mike, who immediately asks Alec to pour him "a big one."

Audrey arrives at Alma's, and when she learns that Alma has no intention of marrying Mike, she suggests that this is just one of the many rows they'll have once they're married. Alma can't get it out of her head that Mike lied to her, but Audrey's response is that Mike only did it because he loves her. Alma disagrees, seeing it all as a "cat and mouse" game, with her being the mouse. Audrey insists that if she really intends to leave Mike in the lurch, she ought to humiliate him at the Registry Office dressed to the nines, not in a shabby housecoat in her own flat.

Outside, Ivy takes a group photo of Gail, Martin, Sally and Kevin, all dressed-up for the wedding and bearing beautifully-wrapped wedding gifts. Sally accidentally drops their gift when she tries to pass it to Kevin, and the contents, obviously made of glass, break. She wonders what they'll do now for a gift, since this one was quite expensive, but Kevin says they haven't time to do anything else but go to the wedding and make explanations later.

Alec is upset that Bet has not yet arrived back from her shopping expedition, so he and Mike have no choice but to carry on without her when their cab arrives.

Ken comes to the Cafe just as Audrey and Alma prepare to leave. Feeling a bit uncomfortable by the situation, Audrey reminds Ken that Alma is getting married that day, but Alma diplomatically asks Audrey if she can "have a word" in private with Ken. Audrey goes outside while Ken congratulates Alma and tells her how lovely she looks. As he leaves, he suddenly asks her if she's doing the right thing, to which Alma thoughtfully replies that she really doesn't know what she's doing, but that Audrey thinks she ought to go the Registry Office and say "no." They exchange a last, friendly kiss before bidding each other goodbye.

Don brings Ivy a cup of tea while she looks through an album of their wedding photos. When Ivy reminisces about their wedding day, Don becomes visibly uncomfortable, and insists he has to get to work, even though Ivy thought he had the day off. She reminds him that they'll be having the kids after school (while Gail and Martin attend the reception), and that he's to pick up Sarah-Louise after school.

Mike anxiously consults his watch outside the Registry Office while Alec assures him that Alma will get there eventually. The clerk calls for the Baldwin and Sedgewick party just as Alma arrives with Audrey. As the guests go into the office, Mike hangs back and tells Alma that she really had him worried. "I haven't said yes, Mike," is her response.

Don knocks on Julie's door, and she appears with her head wrapped in a towel and tells him that she's busy washing her hair. She asks him to come back in a little while, and when he offers to come in and wait, she lets him in.

Back at the Registry Office, Mike repeats his wedding vows. As a nation waits for Alma to say (or not to say) hers, all eyes in the room turn toward the door, where Bet makes a late entrance in her new hat. The Registrar prompts Alma by repeating the lines, and she stands mute... but eventually, after giving Mike the scare of his life, she takes her vows. Mike grins like the Grinch.

Don tells Julie that he's leaving Ivy. He can't take it anymore, so he's decided that he's leaving her today. Julie stares at him and thanks him for telling her. A dumbfounded Don can't believe that's all she has to say. As far as he's concerned, his momentous decision changes everything because they can finally be together. Julie's attitude is that she can't handle this sudden turn-about, and she points out that Don would never have entertained ideas of leaving Ivy if he hadn't met her. Don denies this, claiming that he would leave Ivy anyway, and maintains that the most important thing is that he loves Julie and thought this was what she wanted. Julie tells him that she won't be pushed around by him -- he seems to think that he can just walk out of Ivy's life and into hers. She reminds him that their life would be a misery if she let him do what he wants -- there would be accusations and guilt -- and ultimately you can't build a happy life based on someone's else's misery. Don reiterates that he can't go back to Ivy, but Julie wants only for him to get out of her life.

At the wedding reception, Sally tells Kevin that she's happy for Alma; Kevin retorts that he doesn't understand how anyone can be happy for a woman married to Baldwin. Alec gripes about the expense of Bet's new hat and trips over Sally's and Kevin's already-shattered wedding gift. Hearing the sound of broken glass, he assumes he broke the gift, and on Bet's insistence, Sally receives £30 in restitution. Mike meanwhile tells Alma that he likes her pearls (the gift he bestowed the night before). Alma informs him that she nearly didn't come, but she did come, and she married him because it was what *she* wanted. "You're not clever, you're lucky," she tells him, and goes on to say that she "has his number," he doesn't fool her, and she will know from now on when he lies. A chastened Mike can only gratefully tell her that he loves her.

Back at Julie's place, the entreaties continue. Julie advises Don to settle for what he's got, while Don tries desperately to explain how miserable his life has become. Ivy doesn't love him, she doesn't even like him, and she certainly doesn't like life. He believes in God and the sanctity of marriage, which is why he went back to her, but now he realizes it was all a mistake. He wonders what would have happened if he hadn't gone back to Ivy the last time. If he'd stayed in the relationship with Julie, would she now love him? To his utter despair, Julie says "yes." Don lets out a frustrated groan when he realizes how stupid he's been. Julie asks him to go home, but Don starts again. He has no hope, his life is a black hole, she was the one who saved him, but Julie sees this as emotional blackmail and asks him again to leave. She confesses that this is terribly hard on her, that she'd like nothing more than to ask Don to leave Ivy and move in with her, but now that she's met Ivy, she just can't do that. Ivy is a person to her now, not a faceless wife. Don was the one who chose to go back to her, so if his life is wrecked, he's the one who wrecked it. At the end of his wits, Don tells her he loves her one last time before storming out. Seeing the state he's in, an alarmed Julie tries to stop him, but Don ignores her, gets into his cab, and speeds off.

Ivy answers the telephone to learn that Don hasn't arrived to pick Sarah-Louise up from school. She can't believe that Don would have forgotten, and offers to go to the school herself, but is assured that someone else will drop the child at her home.

Don, meanwhile, is driving like a maniac over back roads.

As guests dance at the wedding reception, Alma and Mike are cheek-to-cheek. Mike tells Alma that Alec gave Sally and Kevin £30 to pay for their broken wedding gift, and that the pair acted as though they'd just won the lottery. He wonders if they'll ever be as happy. On a more serious note, he wonders if Alma really thought about not coming to her own wedding. She laughingly admits that she did, but realized that she would just be putting off the inevitable. In three weeks or six months time, she would have succumbed to his charms. Then she suggests that they sneak out of the reception and start the honeymoon, but they are caught on their way out by observant guests who shower them with rose petals.

Don drives aimlessly, but at break-neck speed, on roads that appear to criss-cross farmer's fields. At home, Ivy has become crazy with worry that he still has not arrived. Unbeknownst to her, Don, who seems bent on self-destruction, continues to accelerate his cab ever faster until he finally loses control and goes into a ditch. The car rolls several times and an eerie silence follows, punctuated only by the hissing sound of steam coming from the radiator.

Heather Morlan

Registrar: GEOFFREY ANNIS Julie Dewhurst: SU ELLIOTT
Written by FRANK COTTRELL BOYCE Directed by IAN WHITE

Thursday (3400, Monday 22 June 1992)

Today's episode strays very little from the after effects of Don's accident.

The first scene shows emergency vehicles and police at the accident scene. Meanwhile Ivy is home wringing her hands and watching the clock, it's 10 to 11 p.m. She decides to call Don's work once again but his boss, Frank, wearily tells her (for the umpteenth time, no doubt) that Don hasn't checked in and is probably broken down somewhere. He's not heard from Don since dinnertime. Ivy snaps at Frank but apologizes for taking it out on him.

Down at the pub, Alec returns from the Baldwin nuptials, leaving Bet behind dancing with a Philippine wine waiter. He exhorts widely about the post and stylish "do" and makes a comment to Ken, having heard that Ken bought the couple a bottle of champagne (that's what he took to the caf when he went to see Alma). For once, Ken made me laugh at his very witty remark about it being appropriate, the Titanic, too was launched with champagne! LOL! Ivy comes in looking for Don but Vera tries to coerce her into going out to a nightclub. Ivy's too worried so Vera leaves with her since she was going anyway. They stop in shock as they see a police car outside Number 5 and a female constable knocking at the door. Hearts in mouths they approach and Vera confirms who Ivy is. They are told there's been an accident.

The pub is closed now and Alec is entertaining the staff with wedding tales of the uncertain groom, sweating bullets waiting to see if the bride would show up. Jack gets off home, Alec lets Raquel go to bed, offering to till up himself and Liz leads a tipsy Jim out the door. They spy Jack banging on his door and tease him about being locked out. (Hey, where's Lisa? She didn't go with her parents when they came to try to persuade her the other day. Wouldn't she have still been there?) Don pounds on Ivy's door too but there's no answer there either. He wakes Gail up to borrow the phone. She's uneasy when she hears Ivy is not at home either but since Jack couldn't raise anyone by phone, offers him the couch for the night.

Vera is, of course, at hospital with Ivy, waiting for news. The news isn't good either. He's very serious. Ivy is allowed into intensive care to sit with him and the doctor tells her she should assume Don can hear her though they don't know for sure. The makeup department sure earned their crust on this one because Don is red, bruised, cut and swollen on his face and hands and it all looks ghastly and real! He's laying very still with a respirator to help him breathe. He's broken ribs and both legs. Ivy steels herself for a long night at his side, talking to him, hoping and praying for him to wake up.

In the morning, Vera says good bye to Ivy, she has to get back home. Ivy won't come with her, though, intending to be there when Don wakes up. She alternates between blind faith that he'll be ok to wavering fear when she tries to make sense of it all. Why would God take Brian and Bert and now Don? Vera tries to assure her Don will come through and promises to tell Gail and also fetch Ivy's rosary from her dressing table, sending it via Gail. Ivy goes back inside with the dregs of a cold up of tea that Vera was nursing. She takes a deep breath to give herself the strength to start another shift and begins talking to Don, urging him to wake up. She wants to pray but is so tired and worried she's having trouble focusing. All she has religious are two funeral cards, one for Brian and one for Bert. Desperately hoping that God's will isn't going to add a third she starts to cry and rushes out into the quiet hallway where she clutches the cards and sobs.

Vera is surprised to find Jack at Gail's. Jack is annoyed that Vera was out all night until Vera mouths the words about Don's accident to him and Gail. Gail makes the kids go upstairs and gets what few details Vera knows. Right, she runs across the road to get the rosary while Jack stays behind to tell Martin when he gets up (This aired on a Monday but seeing as yesterday's episode was Friday, this must actually be Saturday.) She runs into Jim who asks after the Baldwin wedding until he is told about the accident. Gail is stymied about what to do. She has to open the caf and only has Phyllis's help because Alma's on honeymoon but Ivy needs her too. Jim offers Liz's help, gratefully accepted.

Only Liz can't help so the newly-unemployed Steve is recruited, not without a good deal of whining first until his guilt button is pushed about Don being at death's door. Phyllis doesn't mind sharing her space behind the counter with a cute young man, however and Steve's help is gratefully accepted by Gail before she rushes off while Martin gets the kids ready to take over to Sally's, only telling them that Grandad Don is in hospital and is still sleeping in order to help the doctors get him better.

At hospital, Gail holds Ivy close. There's not really any change, Don's stable but still unconscious. Gail is taken aback when Ivy starts prattling about God's mercy, for giving them a second chance. Imagine how it would have been if this had happened when they were having their marital problems! (Little does she know!) Gail just lets Ivy prattle on, knowing she's past rational thought from exhaustion and fearful worrying. Ivy refuses to come home and breaks down again a bit, just wanting to hear Don's voice. (Say what you will about religion but sometimes faith in something or someone is the only thing that can give some people the strength to get through something like this so it can't be such a bad thing). Just then, the police constable interrupts for a few questions. Can't it wait, Gail asks! Nervously the young P.C. wants to know if Ivy and Don had had a row. Ivy hotly denies this and the very suggestion that Don would have been drinking and driving though the constable agrees he didn't have any alcohol in his blood. She goes back to Don while Gail finds out that the police are puzzled that a professional driver who had no alcohol in his blood and there being no evidence of another car involved, should have been driving what must have been over 70 mph and gone straight off the road like that.

Diane Johnston

Frank Haskins BRYN ELLIS W.P.C. Barrett PAULINE AMOS Dr. McKinnon WYLLIE LONGMORE
Written by FRANK COTTRELL BOYCE Directed by STEPHEN BUTCHER

Friday (3401, Wednesday 24 June 1992)

As the Platts go through their morning routine, Gail and Martin discuss Don's condition - according to Ivy's latest report, there's no change. Gail worries about the strain on Ivy but as Martin points out, Don's in the best possible hands. Nicky overhears and asks whether he can go see his grand-dad. Gail explains that Don is still "sleeping" but assures him and Sarah Lou that she'll bring them to visit Don when he's a bit better.

Over at the McDonalds', Steve is criticizing one of his brother's choices on the guest list for their planned joint 18th birthday celebration. Andy defends the person in question as a friend who was on his course and sarcastically asks if Steve's guest list includes Michelle Pfieffer and Julia Roberts. Point taken, Steve is off to help out in the cafe while Andy plans to go over and see Paula. Unable to resist another opportunity to sulk, he tells his mother that not being able to go to Europe himself is no reason not to help Paula plan her trip. The dig hits its intended mark - Liz' face reflecting the sting.

On her way to the Cafe, Gail stops by Ivy's place to see if there's any news on Don. Ivy is teetering on her emotions, discouraged that there's been no change. Gail tells her to look on the bright side - Don may be no better but he's no worse! She takes in the advice with a smile but gives way to her tears as she voices her fears - what if he should die?

With the boys off, Liz laments to Jim that they can't afford to make their 18th birthday more "special". Jim is none too happy about it either but feels helpless to do anything about it in view of their circumstances...

Rita and Ted are back from their honeymoon with happy memories of the lovely time they've just had. Ted compliments Rita on how "full of life and energy" she's been the last two weeks. She attributes her newfound enjoyment of life to him. "I finally met a man I can trust and relax with", she says. "Yes but for how long?" Ted asks with regret. Rita assures him that she intends to make the most of every moment they have together. "After all", she points out, "any one of us could fall under a bus tomorrow!"

In the cafe, Steve is serving fusspot Percy and not very efficiently by the sounds of things. Percy complains that he should have got his toasted tea cake *with* his cup of tea instead of having to wait for it. "Mrs. Pearce would have served them together!" After a moment's reflection he adds, "On the other hand, if Mrs. Pearce were here, I'd not have the chance to enjoy them in peace!" As Steve sets the tea before him, Percy complains about the spilt tea in the saucer, so Steve goes off to get another. He apparently takes too long in doing so, giving Percy yet more cause for complaint!

Liz pops in to the Cafe, not as Steve supposes to "check up" on him, but to ask Gail about Don's condition. After Gail's report, still no change, she tells Liz what a blessing it's been to have Steve around. Liz is pleased to hear it of course, but her smile fades when Gail jokes that she's been told if she can dump Martin for the evening, she's more than welcome to attend his birthday party!

Back at Rita and Ted's, he talks about going to his former home to check the mail. It'll give her a chance to catch up on the neighbourhood gossip anyway, he reckons. Rita laughs at the notion that anything exciting ever happens on this street!

Liz is about to do something about the twins' birthday. She's standing outside a jeweller's, contemplating the sign in the window: "Jewels For Cash - Will Buy Your Used Watches, Rings, etc."...

In the Rovers, Jim asks Jack how Don is doing and is given the stock answer, "no change". Reflecting on his fate, Jim remarks on the passing strangeness that a competent professional driver like Don should have an accident on "that road". Jack agrees with the premise but insists that for Ivy's sake, "least said, soon'st mended".

Audreh enters and joins Percy at the bar to ask how Emily is feeling. He hasn't actually seen her but he hears she's coming on well. Audreh is curious about the fact that he hasn't visited yet, but as Percy explains, she's to have complete rest for the next few days - no visitors. "Though if it were me", he adds, "I should quite welcome seeing a friendly face!"

As Emily soaks in the fresh air on a park bench outside the hospital, Dr. Romsey strolls over to sit with her. When the doctor suggests some occupational therapy, Emily thanks her but says she really has no time for hobbies like painting. When the doctor questions her about her interests, Emily states that she's grateful for everything that's been done for her but she really ought to be getting home now. As she explains, she needs to be there for Mr. Sugden. The doctor points out that from what Emily has told her of her lodger, he's well able to see to his own needs. Emily ought to be concentrating on *herself* while she's here, she insists! Uncomfortable with the exceptional attention she is receiving, Emily initially declines the doctor's offer to have a cup of tea together. But with the assurance that Dr. Romsey isn't just being polite, that she actually would welcome the break from "discussing case histories with her colleagues", she happily relents.

Rita's been down to the Kabin and now returns to her flat with a look of shock on her face. Ted asks if Derek and Mavis have done anything to upset her but she tells him the awful news of Don's accident. Ted sympathizes and they agree, there isn't much for it except to hope and pray.

Liz stops by the bike shop after her trip to town, smiling like the cat that got the canary. Jim hopes she hasn't been out spending but with a flourish she produces a wad of notes to show that she's been doing the "opposite". When he hears that she's got £400, he moans that he *hopes* she hasn't been to "one of them money-lenders". She tells him that she's sold the heirloom ring her grandmother gave her. When Jim expresses his disapproval, she says firmly that the ring was intended to bring her and her family happiness and that being able to give the lads a present for their birthday will do just that! Jim says he understands but adds that he hopes Steve and Andy will appreciate what their mother has done.

Andy and Paula go into the Cafe for a cup of tea and are greeted by Steve's joking that they shouldn't hang about too much as he wouldn't want the place to "get a reputation". Andy is taken aback to be charged for the teas (70p) but Steve assures him that he intends to look after Gail's interests while she's out. Paula expresses surprise that Steve has been left alone to run the cafe, but as he explains, Gail wouldn't have the opportunity to go to the hospital unless he was there, therefore, he is at least making himself "useful - unlike some" he could mention! (I liked Steve in those days!)

At the hospital, Gail is trying to give Ivy some encouragement. Don's condition is now "stable", so not as critical as before. Gail wonders if "they" have figured out how the accident occurred but Ivy tells her "they" still don't know. Ivy doesn't want to leave the hospital in case Don wakes up but Gail finally manages to persuade her to come and have her tea with the family - the hospital will know where she can be reached if need be.

Lisa and Deirdre are sitting together in the Rovers, talking about Emily's breakdown. Lisa suggests the condition is not uncommon among women Emily's age, citing her Aunty Joan as an example. (Ended up in a fish shop in her nightie!) Lisa says she was told her aunt moved to Wales but she never really believed it - she reckons she's "locked away" somewhere. Deirdre tries to take a more moderate view, with proper rest and care, Emily will soon be her old self. "At least she has Mr. Sugden to look after her." (Deirdre bites tongue to keep from saying that Percy is probably partly if not wholly responsible for Emily's present condition!)

At the bar, Jim asks Jack when Terry's sentencing date is. Jack answers that it's to be July 15 which leads Jim to assume Terry and Lisa will then finally be able to plan for their future. "That's if they *have* a 'future' to plan for", replies Jack cynically.

Vera joins Lisa with an apology for being late - she stopped in to see Ivy. Don's condition seems a bit more hopeful now, she reports, adding with trepidation, "It don't bear thinking about..."

At home, Ivy is paid a visit by Don's boss, Frank. He asks that she give Don the best wishes of all his co-workers when he does come to. To Ivy's surprise, Frank then hands her a wad of cash, collected by the "boys" who had a "whip-round" for Don. Touched by the gesture, Ivy struggles for words but finally manages to ask Frank to pass on her thanks. As she sees him to the door, she remarks that she supposes Don's accident got them thinking. "It could have been any one of them taking that call that night..." Startled, Frank tells her that Don wasn't working the night he had the accident. Ivy is incredulous at the news, all the more so when Frank reiterates: "Wherever Don was going that night, it were nought to do with work!"

Anita Belanger

Frank Haskins: BRYN ELLIS Dr. Romsey: ELSPETH CHARLTON
Written by BARRY HILL Directed by STEPHEN BUTCHER


Originally transmitted: 26 & 29 June; 1, 3 & 6 July 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 25 - Friday 29 October 1999
Episode Numbers: 3402 - 3406

Monday (3402, Friday 26 June 1992)

A day to celebrate on more than one front.

Angie is fretting about her exam results due today. Curly tries to distract her by asking if she'll drop in on Ivy to see how Don is but she isn't up to being neighbourly so Curly goes himself. He reassures Ivy that she doesn't have to worry about going to work, which causes Vera's gob to run wild, defending her friend's right to spend time at her husband's sickbed. Ivy just gratefully thanks Curly and insists that Vera go to work. She'll call her if she needs her. They discuss the possible causes of the accident but nobody knows why Don was where he was until he wakes up and tells them.

It's Steve and Andy's birthday finally. They are gobsmacked to receive their present from their parents, an envelope each containing £200! Never mind where it came from, just enjoy it! Later at the café, Steve gets a card and some cash from Gail too. Phyllis arrives for work but Gail tries to put her off, preferring Steve's help but the old woman nags her way into a few hours behind the counter until dinnertime, seeing as she's there.

Ted decides he's getting a bit of cabin feveror should that be Kabin fever? (sorry, that just slipped out!) He decides he wants to do a bit of gardening back at his house. Rita isn't bothered but wonders why he would, since he's going to sell the house anyway. Why not pay for someone to do it. Ted loses his temper, nearly biting her head off when he seems to imagine that she's actually making all sorts of accusations, like inferring he's an invalid or that she's of the opinion that gardening is for the future and he doesn't have one. She hotly denies this, shocked at his turn of attitude. They bicker and he ends up stalking out the door. Later he returns so she hides her sulk behind a newspaper but things are still awkward and he ends up leaving again for the garden center.

Deirdre decides she is going to visit Emily this afternoon. Jack enters the shop and upsets her with his old fashioned ideas about padded rooms and straight-jackets. Deirdre scolds him for his ignorance although Audrey is of half a mind to believe what he says, (oh I see, she's working at full capacity today! ) After all who really knows what goes on behind the walls of a place like that! Well, the visit goes well. Emily is pleased to see Deirdre. She tells her about her quiet days and chats with the doctor about things and people past and present. She has been diagnosed with a type of depression and feels very badly about how she treated Mr. Sugden who was only trying to help.

In the pub at dinner, Audrey asks Rita about Ted but Rita keeps quiet about their argument. Alec seems to be having trouble with his lodger, Raquel, encountering her shoes and clothing strewn about the place and hanging in the bath. Her tights are in the refrigerator and he's inundated with both her and Bet's perfume and he thinks she's molting, there's hair everywhere! Angie comes in for a drink hoping to cheer herself up while waiting but an encounter with Percy has her chin sagging on the bar again.

Ivy is just about to leave Don's room for a cup of tea when he starts coughing. She runs for the nurse and once his mouth is cleared of the respirator tube and he's breathing comfortably, the nurse goes to get the doctor for some painkillers. Don is awake!!! Since Ivy won't go home and rest, she is warned not to allow Don to talk too much. Heeding the doctor, Ivy grills Don, trying to find out what he remembers about the accident and it's cause. He both doesn't remember and what he does, he doesn't want to talk about. He is saved further interrogation by a quick unauthorized visit by Martin. He insists that Martin take Ivy home and the duty nurse helps persuade her.

At dinnertime, Andy asks his father if it's ok that he buys his train ticket with his birthday money and is given the green light. Later on in the café Jim's rubber arm gets twisted by a concerned Steve and he spills the beans about where the money came from. Martin pops in to tell Gail that Don is conscious.

Curly comes home to find a very dejected Angie so assumes she failed. Not so but she only got a 2-2 which she had earlier said she'd be happy with. But she's not. She wanted a 2-1. Curly almost seems to agree but makes a brave attempt to cheer her up, telling her that the quality of her designs is more important than the degree but she will not be soothed and hits the bottle.

The twins race for the bathroom to get ready for their party in that club that sent them the free tickets. Jim offers to stand them their first legal pint in the Rovers later.

Ted returns and is now smiling and he and Rita make up. Their first row! They agree that they have both been on edge, tiptoeing around each other.

Curly has convinced a tipsy Angie to come to the pub in hopes of getting food down her. Vera tells Jack about Don though feels Ivy still has something on her mind in spite of the fact that Don is awake and alert and on the mend. Deirdre arrives to give Percy a report on Emily. She tells him that Emily appreciates his efforts on her behalf. He's still stinging that folk seem to think he was to blame for her hospitalization but Deirdre promises to defend him if she hears anyone saying it. The birthday boys arrive for their first pint. Congratulations all around before Angie slowly passes out in Curly's arms. Raquel sniffs and is disdainful of the exhibition some people make of themselves. Steve takes Andy aside and tells him about the money, Jim makes a speech and the whole neighbourhood gathers around to sing Happy Birthday.

Diane Johnston

ChargeNurse Thornton DAVID CRELLIN
Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by STEPHEN BUTCHER

Tuesday (3403, Monday 29 June 1992)

Ivy answers her door to Vera, who has dropped by for news on Don. Ivy is relieved to be able to report that Don has been moved out of intensive care and into a regular ward, which they agree must mean he's out of danger. (Never mind, he'll be in plenty more by the end of the episode.)

At the Watts/Freeman household, a dejected Angie gets up and is surprised to see Curly still about. He's going in later, he says, as he is working late today - staff training. Reg is on one of his European competitiveness kicks, spouting about how they must compete with Teutonic efficiency, Gallic passion, and so on. Drink isn't the curse of the working man, Curly reckons - work is! Angie mutters darkly about the lack of work in her own glum future as Curly tries to cheer her up.

Rita and Ted are in the Corner Shop buying gourmet treats for a "mystery picnic". Ted has bought them coach tickets but Rita doesn't know where they're going! And she's not to ask the driver or other passengers, either. Audrey thinks it's dead romantic, while Alf is more skeptical!

Curly puts some rather sad dried flowers on the breakfast table as Angie comes back from her morning ablutions. When she asks the occasion, Curly is delighted to tell her she's had a phone call while bathing - Onyx Fashions wants to interview her for a buyer's position. Instead of being delighted, Angie throws the written message aside. Onyx, she explains, is the company which bought her stolen designs last year. She'll go in for the interview, all right - but only to tell them where they can stick their job!

Percy enters the Corner Shop looking for a box of choccies for Mrs. Bishop, who he is going to visit. When Deirdre inquires after Emily, Percy says she's doing well but needs rest. "I wonder who from?" asks Audrey snidely. Deirdre quickly interrupts to assist Percy with selecting the chocolates, but Audrey plows in again to ask whether Percy should be visiting Emily so soon - making it clear that the emphasis is on "Percy", not the "so soon". After all, continues Audrey, she might have a relapse! Deirdre again tries to change the subject back to the sweets at hand. Percy selects a box, then tells Audrey firmly that Mrs. Bishop specifically asked him to visit! Deirdre confirms that yes, Emily told her this, too. "Yes, well I suppose she can't hide away forever!" says Audrey to Percy's evident distress. (I suppose she doesn't mean to be cruel, Audrey, but she certainly can be sometimes.)

Percy exits and Deirdre turns on Audrey, telling her she was well out of order there! She points out that Audrey practically accused Percy of driving Emily into the hospital, and all this time he'd been worried sick about Emily, trying to let people know she'd been unwell, and everyone poo-poohed him. They, who are supposedly Emily's friends and neighbours, didn't even notice, she rants. An unrepentant Audrey breaks in to remind Dreary that last year Percy practically ran Emily out of her own home, but Deirdre fires back that Percy isn't responsible for the many things that have happened to Emily over the years, such as losing her job at the hospital. Emily is very grateful to Percy for how he took care of her, Deirdre says, and when she gets home they must make sure the burden of caring for her doesn't fall all on his shoulders again. And now, she's going to lunch! (While Audrey characteristically doesn't show an ounce of remorse in this scene, Deirdre is certainly keeping her recent promise to Percy of defending him on this issue!)

Julie comes to the hospital to see Don (nerve! wha?), who is very pleased she is there. He confirms her suspicion that it was the night he left her place that he crashed the car. She says that if it was because of her, she would never speak to him again, and naturally Don denies that it had anything to do with her. Julie nervously says that she should go, she's gotten the hospital to let her in early, in case... you know... Well, here comes "you know" as Ivy walks up to the bed holding a bag of bananas for her husband. She recognizes Julie as the barmaid she and Vera met the night they went clubbing, and very rapidly puts two and two together and realizes Julie is "the other woman". Don repeatedly tells Julie not to go, but of course she beats a hasty retreat, leaving Don and Ivy to confront each other.

Angie arrives for her meeting with the very yummy Hanif Ruparell. (About time we've had some eye candy of the male persuasion around here!) She is quite cold, which puts him off, as the person who referred her to him said she had, among other assets such as a good eye, a good sense of humour. She has brought her portfolio, and watches his face as he leafs through the sketches. "Something wrong?" she asks as his face changes. She then informs him that the design he is looking at was hers, stolen by a fellow student after last year's fashion show, and his factory had it in production less than a week later! Hanif is taken aback. He assures Angie that they bought the design in good faith and that he doesn't believe in design theft. Angie then admits that she only came to the interview to bawl him out and now she can't even do that!

Back at the hospital, Ivy is in that terrible mental place where the full rush of knowledge is striking her. She is devastated to realize that she sat in a cab with Don and Julie the night she arranged for Don to give the barmaid a ride home, and they both knew and she didn't. She accuses them of laughing at her over that. Don denies this. Ivy also accuses Don of lying about the affair being over and Don attempts to deny this as well but is obviously in a great deal of pain and distress. He begs Ivy to get a nurse and she gets up, frightened and upset.

Steve and Andy sit in the Rovers drinking a legal pint. In Friday's update, Anita mentioned that she liked Steve in those days, and so do I. He had a conscience then, as demonstrated when he asks Andy if he is going to go ahead and spend his £200 birthday money on the trip. Andy says sure he is, and Steve reminds him that their mum and dad are broke and can't afford that kind of a birthday gift. Mum had to sell Gran's ring, he reminds Andy guiltily. As far as Andy is concerned, it's a birthday present, it would look strange if they gave it back. Is Steve giving his back? Well... it's evident that Steve doesn't really want to either. Andy goes on to say that if they keep it they don't have to let on that they know where the money came from, and they smile back weakly as they catch their doting mother's eye from across the bar.

Gail, Martin and the kids are waiting hungrily for Granny Ivy to get home so they can have tea. She's been invited but there's no sign of her and the kids (and Martin) are gut-foundered! Where could she be?

Where she is, is at the edge of a canal, wet and trembling, staring into the water's depths, clutching her rosary beads in white-knuckled hands.

Percy had told Liz earlier in the day at the Rover's that he had visited Emily but had left because she was surrounded by visitors and they couldn't talk. Now he is back at the hospital where they do have that chance to have a heart-to-heart, sitting together on the grounds under some trees. In a touching and very well-acted scene, Percy asks how Emily is and she says she is *much* better. She misses Percy's cooking, she says, and he says that he misses her presence. Emily apologizes for her erratic behavior earlier. Percy tentatively asks if they know what caused it... specifically, if they mentioned him. (Poor Percy!) "No! You mustn't think that. Why, if it hadn't been for you keeping an eye on me, goodness knows what I might have done!...I've got you to thank for an awful lot, Mr. Sugden. You've been a true and loyal friend, and I thiank you from the bottom of my heart." The old man fairly glows as he hears the words he needed to hear from his friend.

Gail has phoned the hospital who have told her that Ivy left some time ago, and that Don is fine. She and Martin discuss whether they could've gotten their evenings mixed up, but Gail is certain Ivy knew it was tonight she was to come for tea. Martin's due to do summat with fellow nursing student Tony and Gail tells him to go on, no point in them both sitting around waiting. He tells her not to wait up for him and she is unwittingly ironic when she says "Nurses!" She would see more of Martin if he had a girlfriend!

At the Rovers, Rita and Ted update Audrey and Alf on their highly successful day out. They then chirp about going home and jumping into bed with a supper of fish and chips. As they leave, Alf mutters that they're acting like a couple of kids. Audrey says pointedly that it's nice some people can act like kids. Alf glumly predicts that "it'll all end in tears, that", jerking his head in the direction of the departed Sullivans. Audrey (who of course knows about Ted's terminal illness) says icily that it may end in tears, but when it does at least Rita will have had *some* laughs!

Angie is celebrating at the Rovers as she tells an astonished Curly that she got the buyer's job after all due to her "bottle" (nerve)!

Percy just catches Deirdre before she closes the Shop as he picks up some bread. He and Dreary discuss Emily, and more specifically Clinical Depression. They talk about how not eating and not sleeping are symptoms which Emily experienced, and how the condition often affects older people. Percy, in fact, would be willing to talk for another several hours, but Deirdre finally gently but firmly convinces him to let her close up!

Gail is phoning the police station when she sees Ivy approaching her house. (The police? But it's broad daylight outside; that can't be *that* late for June 29 in northern England! And Deirdre's just closing up the shop. Seems to be a case of a character doing something that would only make sense if the character knew what we, the viewers, also knew, even though she doesn't. Know, that is. Or something.) She hangs up to open the door to a damp, exhausted Ivy. "I've got to talk to someone," Ivy half-sobs as Gail leads her into the house. (In an inspired directing touch, poor Ivy is still clutching the bananas she had been bringing to Don in hospital.) She tells Gail she has been walking and walking and walking. She can't even think straight. She thinks Don wasn't in an accident, she says. She thinks he crashed the car on purpose - out of guilt. He's been seeing another woman, she reveals, and she thinks he tried to kill himself because he couldn't face her. "I'm frightened!" she says, as Gail embraces her, trying to comprehend all her former mother-in-law has just told her.

ronniecat

Hanif Ruparell: AYUB KHAN-DIN
Written by HARRY DUFFIN Directed by ALAN MARSDEN

Wednesday (3404, Wednesday 1 July 1992)

As so often is the case, the episode begins with Martin yelling up the stairs for the kids to get a move on. He asks Gail if Ivy ever showed up for her tea the night before, and instead of getting an answer, Gail asks him if he remembers that Don was seeing a barmaid last year. She confides that apparently the affair is still going on, that the barmaid showed-up at the hospital to visit Don, and Ivy caught them together. Martin chuckles that it's lucky for Don that he was in hospital at the time.

Curly is gloating a bit, telling Angie that he "knew" she would change her mind and accept the job of buyer, but he can't believe she's about to show up for her first day in her outfit (a pale green a-line dress with black trim, accentuated by a matching hat), which he characterizes as quirky and eccentric. Angie would prefer to see it as "radical chic."

Vera arrives at Ivy's, but when she sees the state Ivy is in, she immediately assumes that Don has had a relapse. Before Ivy can respond, Audrey's at the doorstep asking about Don. Vera tells her that he's been moved from Intensive Care, and while Audrey goes on about that being good news, Ivy gives her short shrift and closes the door. She reminds Vera of Julie, the barmaid they gave a lift to a few weeks back, and wonders if Vera remembers where she lived, claiming that Julie left something in Don's cab that needs to be returned. At first Vera can't remember, given that she was "too far gone" that night, but suddenly "Park Road" pops into her memory.

Steve rushes off for another day at the Cafe while Andy reminds him not to forget his "frilly pinny." Liz says Andy shouldn't make fun, since "at least," Steve is working, causing Jim to take humbrage because things are so slow at the bike shop. Liz assures him that he's just going through a "bad patch," but Jim wonders when a bad patch becomes a disaster. As he slams the door on his way out, Steve tells his mom that Jim had no right to take things out on her, but Liz feels that it was only a matter of him having to have a go at someone. Andy tries to buck his mom's spirits up by telling her that someday, when his computer business is a huge success, he'll buy her a fur coat and a big house.

At the Corner Shop, an offended Audrey tells Deirdre that Ivy all but slammed the door in her face when she visited earlier, and decides this warrants a quick trip to the Cafe to see if Gail can tell her what's going on. Moments later, she tells Gail how awful Ivy looked when she stopped by, and does her best to fish for information. Gail won't bite, though, and when Audrey criticises her for defending the woman who made her life a misery, Gail quickly lets her mom know that she and Ivy have been getting along very well lately. Audrey's fishing excursion is interrupted when Phyllis arrives with a bouquet of flowers. She sadly admits that they aren't from Percy or any other admirer -- they're from her own garden, and she thought they might help brighten the Cafe. This apparently gives Steve an idea, and he asks permission to use the telephone.

Jim gripes to Alec about how slow business is these days, prompting Alec to say (loud enough for his staff to hear) that if things don't get better in his own line of work, he'll have to start thinking about laying-off staff. Curly orders a pint and a hotpot, causing Raquel to wonder if his "landlady" (referring to Angie) is too busy to cook for him. Curly reminds her that Angie was never his landlady, and that if things go according to plan, she'll soon be his lodger. He informs Raquel that Angie has just landed a prestigious job as "chief buyer," and even implies that she might be able to put some work Raquel's way. Raquel's response is that she'd rather pull pints for the rest of her life.

After summoning Andy to the Cafe, Steve suggests that they pool some of their birthday money and send their mom flowers to make up for the heirloom ring that she sold to raise the funds for their birthday gifts. Andy is all for the idea, and agrees to arrange everything.

Not surprisingly, Ivy shows up at Julie's home, and is invited to come in. Ivy insists on knowing the truth. She knew about Don's "fling" last year, and believed him when he said it was over. Julie insists that the relationship is over, and that she was at the hospital only as a friend. She needed to see how he was doing, and tells Ivy that Don is miserable. Ivy accuses her of being a trollop and taking advantage of Don when she knew he was going through a bad patch in his marriage. When Julie makes it clear that she's not about to tolerate Ivy's insults, and that Don was the one who did all the chasing, Ivy settles down a bit and becomes a little softer. She admits that they were having problems, but she thought they were doing alright after they got back together. Julie insists that she hadn't seen him again until the night that Ivy offered her the lift home -- she wouldn't have taken it if she'd known then that Ivy was married to Don. Don did contact her again after that night and made it clear he wanted her back, but Julie wasn't interested and didn't want to be dumped twice. The night of the accident, Don visited and asked her to go back with him. "He wanted to move in," she tells Ivy, but she refused him. "Liar," is Ivy's angry response.

A florist's truck pulls up in front of the MacDonald residence, and Liz is handed a very large, beautiful bouquet. Ted Sullivan is passing at the time, so stops to comment on Jim's thoughtfulness. Liz corrects his assumption and informs him that the flowers are in fact from the twins. Ted tells Liz that Rita put him in the picture of their loss last year, and Liz confesses that the boys "pulled together," and helped her get through the ordeal. Prophetically, she says that the trick is not to look back, but to make the best of the future. Ted thoughtfully nods in agreement.

At the hospital, Don tells his male nurse that his foot is still very painful. The nurse feels quite sure that Don's wife will be along any minute.

Gail visits Ivy, and a worried Vera tells her that she hasn't been to see Don yet. After Vera leaves, Gail asks if Ivy has told her anything. Ivy admits that Vera is her best friend but that she knows from experience how big her mouth is when it comes to keeping secrets. She confesses to Gail that she's so angry that she wants to yell, scream, and hit Don -- but ultimately she still loves him.

At the Rover's Return, Deirdre asks Liz if she's been rooked into helping with "Sports Day" at the school tomorrow, but Liz reminds her that she's past that now as far as the boys are concerned. Jim apologizes to Liz for getting so upset that morning about the situation with the bike shop. Angie and Curly arrive for a drink, and Raquel cattily remarks that she expects they'll want a "bottle of bubbly" to celebrate Angie's new position in "the fast lane." Curly has to explain that he did a bit of bragging on Angie's behalf, and Angie admits that her position is as a trainee. Raquel caustically remarks that she knew Angie's position couldn't amount to much, since she doesn't have the experience. "No one has as much experience as you do," retorts Angie, leading Alec to hastily intervene before anyone begins "chucking things."

Ivy finally makes an appearance at Don's bedside, and when asked about how he feels, he mutters that he's the same as before. While she didn't come earlier in the day, she assures him that she rang the hospital twice to enquire about him. Meanwhile, she went to see Julie because she needed to sort things out, and she informs Don that she more or less backed his own story -- that the relationship ended last year. A defeated Don asks her to stay out of things, but Ivy goes on to tell him that Julie also told her that he had the crash because he went to see her and left "in a bit of a temper." Don is too tired to argue with her, so Ivy takes a new tack, reminding him that they're still husband and wife, and that they're both to blame for the situation. She wants him to come home when he's finally released from hospital so they can sort things. Don angrily informs her that he isn't coming back, and Ivy asks if he thinks he'll move in with his "lady friend" and make a little "love nest." "It's possible," Don curtly replies. Ivy rather smugly reminds him that Julie won't have him back. "The accident's changed nothing, so you don't have much of a choice, have you"?

Heather Morlan

Male Nurse: MICHAEL GUNN Julie Dewhurst: SU ELLIOTT
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by ALAN MARSDEN

Thursday (3405, Friday 3 July 1992)

Todays show is peppered with the hard bite of reality for several people.

We begin in the wee hours of the morning.

Dons restless and wakeful too and he leans over the side of the bed to reach the phone. Its Julie he wakes. Shes not best pleased to be wakened at 2 a.m. when shes only just gotten home after work and just managed to get to sleep. Hes anxious to find out if what Ivy told him was true. Does she not want him after all? (Didnt she already tell him that several times?) Julie says its true but Don manages to talk her into visiting him tomorrow. (When we first met Julie she talked about all the losers she went out with over the years. If shes that easy to talk around into things, its no wonder! She cant say NO!) She says it wont change anything but shell come.

For Rita, the reality of Teds illness hits home hard as she finds him in agony, clutching his head. The medication seems to be taking awfully long to work and hes panicking. Rita stays cool and calm in the wake of the crisis and holds him, whispering soothing things to try to calm him while they wait for the pills to kill the pain. But what happens once this has passed?

Back to the hospital, Don is still awake but he, too is in pain. The night nurse comes by to have a look but says it doesnt look any worse. I dont know how she can tell as she hasnt turned on a light and its quite dark in the ward. She thinks its best he try to get some rest but in addition to the pain, hes got a lot on his mind so she settles in for a listen. Don tells her the whole sorry story, describing his feelings for Ivy as having left him. Then he fell in love with Julie but feeling guilty, decided to give his marriage another go. All those feelings flooded back when he saw Julie again only now she doesnt want him back and he feels he doesnt have much left in his life. The nurse is non-committal but reminds him that at least Julie is coming in tomorrow, thats something isnt it?

In the morning Alf is commended by Audrey for having some foresight for once. Hes got in strawberries and fizzy wine, hoping to cash in on the Wimbledon attitude. Audrey wants to try it out this afternoon but Alf indicates that Audrey has to work because Deirdre is off for the afternoon at Tracys sports day and he has other business to attend to.

Ivy arrives at the caf, looking confused and hurt. She tells Gail that Don doesnt want to come home when hes released. Steve is dispatched to mind the counter so Gail can sit down with Ivy. Gail thinks Don could just be overwhelmed with things but Ivy is at a loss for what to do. Gail gently suggests that Ivy take a step back and give Don some room to think without the pressure of having to make decisions. I think she must mean that Ivy shouldnt insist Don come home if he doesnt want to. She reminds Ivy that if she does love Don as she says, she would want whats best for him.

But Don has other things on his mind. The doctor examines his leg and decides he wants to do further examination under anaesthetic to have a thorough look. Theyll take him down later in the afternoon.

In the pub at dinnertime, Liz and Raquel are in ecstasies about Wimbledon tennis players in their tighty whiteys, much to the chagrin of Alec, Jack and Jim. Audrey joins in with her agreement but complains because she has to work instead of ogling. Jim extols the virtues of boxing, a much more manly sport but Raquel turns up her nose at the thought of sweaty men thumping each other. Liz makes sure Jim knows shes planning to hog the TV this afternoon after work to watch the semi-finals.

Don is already sedated and on the gurney and ready to be taken to the theatre but is still fretting because Julie is due to visit. The porter promises to keep a look out for her and tell her where hes gone. But timing is everything and Julie arrives just as they are wheeling him away. Hes pleased but shes alarmed. The nurse tells her that Don is just going for some tests.

Gail arrives to see how Ivy is. Ivy actually looks nice now, having fixed her hair and face and is wearing a nice dress. She looks better than she has since the accident. So much for taking a step back, Gail offers to accompany Ivy to the hospital if she was going to visit Don. Ivy is glad of the company and they get ready to leave.

Liz arrives home after work to find Jim firmly ensconced in front of the telly, the whine of Formula One racing emanating from the tube. Hes surrounded by empty beer cans and has one on the go. Hes obviously well-sheeted and refuses to give up the TV. Liz reminds him she had already made plans but he lurches to his feet and a brief struggle ensues until he reels to one side and ends up on the floor on his ass surrounded by a broken vase and scattered flowers. He fumbles to attempt to clear it up but she shoos him off, disgusted with his macho behavior. He tries to apologize, saying he was only playacting (but still slurring his words considerably). She hisses that his playacting is too real for her taste and leaves the house. As he staggers to his feet, he sarcastically shouts drunkenly Game, Set and Match then!

Rita comes in to the corner shop, tense and quiet. Audrey witters on in full sulk, complaining about Alf until Rita bursts into tears. (Cant blame her, Audrey has that effect on a lot of folk although its usually Derek that does it to me!) Immediately repentant, Audrey rushes to Ritas side. Rita, through her tears, relates the previous nights troubles with Ted. (Im so glad she told Audrey and has someone to talk to after incidents like these!) Just then Liz arrives and realizes shes interrupted something. Before she can back out, Rita covers and pretends she had something in her eye while Audrey distracts Liz by discussing the Tennis match, trying to sell Liz some strawberries and wine. Liz curtly says her plans have changed and has only come in for cigarettes. Audrey immediately takes charge, sussing that both her friends need a pick-me-up and assigns Liz to get the strawberries, Rita to get the cream and she herself pops the cork on a bottle of champagne. They all need a lift. After all her afternoon has been scotched by a bolshy husband and, giving Liz a circumspect look, she strongly suspects Lizs has too.

Ivy and Gail arrive at hospital and are told about Don. Ivy is hurt to discover that he specifically didnt want anyone notified of the surgery. Ivy, her back up defensively (and no wonder, too!) leaves a message for Don. If he wants her, he knows where she is. Gail puts her arm around Ivys shoulder and they turn and leave.

Back in the shop, Audrey, Liz and Rita are sat down clutching coffee mugs of wine and dipping berries into the cream. They are well into them cups and laughing their troubles away. Im ready to join them, they look like theyre having so much fun. Audrey begins to tell the tale of her first experience with champagne which involved a lovely young man named Mervyn, much to the delight of Rita and Liz who offer ribald commentary to the story, punctuated by fits of giggles. Percy arrives so Audrey attempts to appear sober. Now then, Percy, what can we do you for!? Percy straightens up indignantly and tells her he very much doubts she could do anything to satisfy his requirements and backs out of the shop, leaving the women weak with laughter.

Outside he encounters Alf and after telling him that Emily will be back from Hospital on Monday, instructs Alf as to the behaviour of drunken store clerks causing him to take his business elsewhere. Alf hurries into the store where he is promptly offered a mug of wine. He snorts that hes the mug, more like and whats all this then? Rita and Liz lurch to their feet unsteadily, deciding it might be wise to stagger out of Dodge City but none of Alfs scolding has any effect on Audrey who pops a large strawberry in Alfs mouth, telling him she loves him before she and Liz follow Rita out the door, wine and fruit in hand, to watch the tennis at Ritas flat.

The last scene today has the doctor coming to tell Don the results of the tests. We know its going to be bad news when he indicates to the nurse to leave them alone (I would have thought an extra body would have been an asset in case Don either got violent or worse, passed out from the shock hes going to get). Don is told that his leg is very badly damaged and the infection isnt being controlled by the antibiotics. The only way to fix it is to remove the dead tissue so the infection doesnt spread. Don hasnt clued in so the doctor spells it out. The are going to have to remove the lower part of his leg, theres no way around it. The damage is too great! It must be done as soon as possible and theyve scheduled it for tomorrow, if Don agrees. Don is incredulous! Are they sure? Absolutely. Dons bruised face pales and his eyes widen in horror and shock. (Well, wouldnt yours?)

Diane Johnston

Susie Johnson CLAIRE QUIGLEY Mr. Lennox GORDON ROWE Nurse Sweeney MICHAEL GUNN Nurse Clark ANNE ORWIN
Written by KEN BLAKESON Directed by ALAN MARSDEN

Friday (3406, Monday 6 July 1992)

Evening in the Rovers and the patrons are caught up in a game of darts. The round ends with Alf the clear winner and Reg and Alec making sulking noises, full of sour grapes, both.

At the bar, Mavis congratulates Angie on having landed a job so quickly. Phyllis recollects when she got her first job, starting at "1 and 6" a week. She'd give half to her mother and spend the other half on a "fella", she remembers with a smile. Betty figures Angie's starting wage is likely more than she earns today after all these years in the Rovers!

As the darts game begins again, Alec, who is by now behind the bar, wrecks Alf's concentration by pulling the "time" bell. Startled at the interruption, Alf and onlookers turn to Alec in surprise. The landlord pretends to have mistaken the time on his watch but fools no one.

In the darkened hospital ward, Nurse Clark asks Don if he wants anything to eat or drink now, as there'll be nothing after midnight. Deep in meditation over his pending operation, Don questions whether the amputation is strictly necessary. He wonders if the doctor could have been mistaken, whether he should seek a second opinion first. The nurse assures him that they wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't absolutely necessary. She also warns that she's known people who waited "too long"! Her advice is to look ahead, not even years but months, when he can start enjoying life again. Agitated, Don asks if she would look twice at a man with "something else" in the place of one of his legs. She doesn't deny there will have to be compromises. "I've become expert at compromises these last two years!" retorts Don. Helplessly, the nurse asks what his wife said about it. He imagines she would say it's "God's way of getting revenge" on him! Nurse Clark is shocked that he hasn't told Ivy about the operation but Don insists that he doesn't want her to know. "In fact, I want it on my chart in big, bold letters - NO NEXT OF KIN!" he says forcefully.

At this moment, Ivy is just turning out the lights and climbing the stairs to go to bed....

Early in the morning, a sleepy Angie answers the door to a young man who introduces himself as the son in "Mitchell and Sons". He explains that Mrs. Sullivan has hired him to replace the windows in the house. Angie isn't prepared to have tradespeople traipsing through the place at this hour so she asks if they can come back later. "Sure, see you next Wednesday, then!" Neil answers brightly. Not wishing to be put off for more than a week, she relents and opens the door for them to enter.

Ted is in the Corner Shop, getting in a few provisions for the day's outing with Rita. They plan on having a picnic and doing some gardening. Alf says he doesn't have time for gardening and Ted counters that he should find the time as it's supposed to be therapeutic. "A, you're younger and fitter than I am, and B, you have help - Audreh's idea of helping is to have her friends over to booze my stock away!" answers the grocer. Audreh, hearing herself referred to thus, brushes it off by telling Ted that she's on the verge of having Alf "preserved". "That way, I won't have to feed him or listen to him - just wheel out his jar for inspection when the VAT man comes!" she cracks. Caught up in the hilarity of her own joke, she exits the shop to go over and see Rita. With Audreh gone, Alf asks Ted if he and Rita plan to keep both their homes. Ted explains that he'd like for them to sell Rita's flat since it's much smaller than his home. Alf is taken aback at the suggestion of Rita leaving all her friends but refrains from saying anything.

At No. 7, Angie is chatting to Neil as he gets set up to start doing the windows. He asks what she does and she tells him that although she's really a designer, she's settled for working as a buyer. Curly descends the stairs and gives Neil a stern caution: Just because they are tenants does not mean they'll accept shoddy work - he plans to buy this property! Turning to Angie, he warns, "Don't give them any encouragement". Incensed at what she perceives his meaning to be, Angie fires back, "I beg your pardon!" Curly is oblivious to having caused offense. As he scurries out the door, he adds, "You know how they are - give them an inch and they take a mile!" Fuming after him, Angie doesn't bother to correct Neil's assumption that her "hubby" is the "possessive type".

Audreh is chatting to Rita in the Kabin when Percy rushes in. Flustered, he selects a handful of magazines and goes to the counter with them. Rita, remembering that Emily is due home today, tells Derek not to charge Percy for the magazines. Derek's face registers his chagrin but he says nothing. Gratefully, Percy picks up the magazines, commenting on how much there is to be done before Mrs. Bishop returns home. On hearing that he intends to take the bus to the hospital, Rita says she'll be glad to drive him and they can pick up Emily together. Audreh also offers to help - if Percy needs any shopping, he should call Alf to get an order ready. Percy is only too glad of the offer of a drive but declines Audreh's offer, saying there's too much shopping to be done so he'd better go to Bettabuys. "Oh charming!" she replies as he goes out of the shop. Turning to Rita, she remarks that it's brave of her to go for Emily, her being in a "psyche" ward an' all. Rita says it won't do Emily any good if she thinks people are treating her differently because she's had this breakdown. Derek contends that it's "ironic" Percy should be commanding "all this attention" when he is the one "who drove her to it in the first place"! Rita defends Percy's good intentions, saying if he weren't putting himself out, Derek would be the first to find fault! Ted comes in with the provisions for their outing but Rita casually informs him there's been a change of plans - she reckons it's her "day for interfering"!

On the job as a hospital porter, Martin goes up to check on Don. He stops at the nurses' station outside the ward when he spots Julie at Don's bedside. She is offering her sympathy for what he is about to undergo. Self-pityingly, Don remarks that if she hadn't "ditched" him before, she certainly would have now. She clarifies that she didn't "ditch" him - she just didn't think they had a future together. Changing the subject, she says she still thinks he's wrong not to tell Ivy....

As Martin hangs back to talk to the male nurse on duty, the nurse assumes Don is one of Martin's case studies. Martin ironically agrees, "You could say that..." Nurse Sweeney confides that he's hoping the patient's wife won't show up while the girlfriend is visiting. "The last thing he needs is a fist fight right before he goes to the theater." Martin is surprised at the mention of the theater as Don's already had an operation. "That was investigative, this is conclusive - right leg amputation", Sweeney informs him. Shocked at the news, Martin is even more troubled to hear that the patient insists on withholding information of the procedure from his family.

Percy is struggling to finish preparations in anticipation of Emily's return. As he rushes around trying to see to everything, Phyllis shows up at the door with flowers from her garden. Seeing the state he's in, she offers her services and with great relief, he asks her to start on the windows. As she sets about helping, she remarks cheerily, "Team-work, Percy Luv - it'll be good practice for me and you!" For once, he doesn't argue with her but smiles his gratitude instead.

Martin arrives at the Cafe and pulls Gail away for a quiet word. She follows him outside wondering what the heck is going on. She is horrified to hear of Don's operation and turns to rush back into the Cafe. Hurriedly, she says she'll call Audreh to fill in so she can go up to the hospital and be with Ivy. Martin catches her back to break the worst of it to her - Ivy doesn't know about it and Don doesn't want her to know. Immediately, Gail says that Ivy *has* to know - it isn't fair not to tell her! Martin argues that since he learned about it while on the job, it would be wrong not to keep it a secret. "Then why tell me?!" Gail asks incredulously. Martin mumbles something about not knowing what else to do and Gail pleads in desperation, "But she's his *wife* - she has a right to know!" Martin asserts that Ivy mustn't be told - he would lose his job. Helplessly watching him leave, Gail returns to the Cafe, her face clouded in uncertainty.

In the aisles of Bettabuys, Vera rushes to tell Ivy there's a phone call for her. Speculating that it might be Don, she cautions her friend to "play it cool" and Ivy gives her assurance, she'll do just that. As Ivy retreats, we see Phyllis and Percy arguing over whether to purchase butter or margarine. As Vera approaches, Phyllis prevails upon her to tell Percy that "marg is healthier". Declining the invitation, Vera jokes that she's "only just" got a flush toilet - so what would she know?

Taking her phone call, Ivy immediately realises the caller is not Don. In a surprised tone, she says, "Oh - hello..." then, "When?!" before hanging up in alarm and running to leave the store. Reg shouts to her about using the phone for personal calls but she pays no heed. Vera runs after her to ask what's wrong but Ivy can only reply in shock that she can't believe he would do this to her!

In the cafe, Gail stares coldly at the phone. Steve mentions that Martin seemed upset when he came in and Gail flatly answers, "Not upset enough for my liking".

In the Rovers at lunchtime, Angie is surprised when Neil comes over to her table with a pint. He tells her that in talking to Mrs. Sullivan he's learned that she and Curly are only flatmates, not a married couple as he assumed. She gets her back up and tells him she hopes she won't have to "get rude to get rid". Neil sets the glass before her, saying he was only "being friendly". He explains that he bought the pint for her and since he doesn't drink on the job he'll be on his way.

In the hospital, Don is being injected with something to make him drowsy....

Back in the pub, Alf notices Derek's downcast mood and is moved to remark, "There's only two things can cause a face like that - income tax and overdraft". Derek reveals the source of his sullenness, Angie having landed herself a job so quickly. Alec and Alf are quick to point out that Angie works hard and deserved the break. Derek allows this much is true but now turns his energies to complaining about Rita and Ted. "Noddy and Big Ears - driving off in our motor car for our day's adventure!" he squeals sarcastically. Taken aback at the depth of his resentment, Alec suggests to Alf that he get Derek a drink and quickly!

Ivy frantically rushes onto the ward, only to find Don's bed empty. She turns on her heel and races out again, down the corridor towards the operating theater, bumping into one of the nurses as she goes.

Home from the hospital, Emily stands gazing at No. 3 for just a moment before slowly going towards the house, flanked by Rita and Percy. The door opens and Phyllis cheerily greets them with the promise of the the kettle about to boil.

Just as Don is going under, Ivy's voice is heard from without the operating theater, shouting frantically, "But he's my husband - I want to see him!" A second later, she enters. Looking around wildly, she sees Don lying on the gurney, flanked by Nurse Sweeney and the anesthesiologist. She calls Don's name but it's apparent he can't hear her now and the two attendants bark at her to get out. Nurse Sweeney comes over and with a firm hand on her shoulders, sees her through the door.

Rita, Percy and Phyllis sit around the dining table making polite small talk with Emily. The atmosphere is strained as the friends are unsure what to say. When Phyllis offers to get more tea, Emily says she'd like to do it, she'll have to get used to doing it again anyway. As she rises, she tells them that her recent experience, though unpleasant, has forced her to reckon with some things she'd been pushing down within her. Her first marriage, Ernest's death, all the things that have happened that she had never really dealt with. She emphasises that she's doing much better now and if they have any questions, she wishes they would feel free to ask. A slight pause and Phyllis admits she has a question, "Do you have anything stronger than tea?" (LOL!)

Angie sees Neil looking over the dress designs on her easel. She is moved to apologize for snapping at him at lunchtime but jokingly adds that he should have his girlfriend teach him some smoother pick up lines. To her surprise, he tells her he's about to be divorced. She offers her sympathy and goes to put the kettle on for them.

Post op and back in the ward, Don is still unconscious. At his bedside, Ivy begs him not to turn his back on her. Pitifully, she asks, "Why do you hate me so?"

In the pub, Curly complains to Angie that Neil and his partner have been hanging around all day and only managed to fit two window frames in that time. If they don't accomplish a lot more tomorrow, he wants her to tell him to "sling his hook"! "Tell 'em yourself!" she retorts, adding that he'll only sound jealous if he does say that. Pausing, she asks Curly what's really bothering him. Ever since she landed her job, he seems to be acting insecure. He denies fretting over the possibility of her moving out - it's what they both knew would someday happen. Realising there probably is an element of jealousy over Neil, she tells him softly that he has no cause to worry on her behalf - she can look after herself.

At one of the booths, a collection of Emily's friends are having an informal 'welcome home' celebration for her. Among the company, Rita and Ted, Mavis, Percy, Phyllis and Emily herself. They raise a toast to her good health and Ted and Rita invite her to come out for some gardening with them the next day.

From the bar, Alec and Alf eye the group with trepidation. Alf leans over to share with Alec the news that Ted plans for Rita's flat to be sold. Reg overhears and pokes his nose in to let them both know that Ted had a first wife who died and left him some money. Eyebrows go up as the three put two and two together and decide it makes five - Ted must be after Rita's money! What's needed now is for a close friend, someone with nothing to gain, to have a quiet word with Rita. Alf ceases nodding his agreement as soon as he realises Alec and Reg are looking at him.

Sitting on their own, Gail tells Martin that she went ahead and rang Ivy, his job on the line or not. He is amazed to hear it but before he can react, she tells him to stop fretting, someone else beat her to it. When she called, Vera said Ivy had already left for the hospital....

From a pay phone in the hospital, Ivy makes a call. Through pursed lips, she tells the recipient that she's phoned to say "Thank you". She goes on, "If you hadn't let me know, I still wouldn't have heard..." At the other end, Julie tells her that she had to call - it wouldn't have felt right if she hadn't. "It's good to hear you still know the difference!" returns Ivy sanctimoniously. As she hangs up the phone, credits roll.

Anita Belanger

Nurse Clark: ANNE ORWIN Nurse Sweeney: MICHAEL GUNN Neil Mitchell: JOHN LLOYD FILLINGHAM
Written by PAUL ABBOTT Directed by JULIAN FARINO


Originally transmitted: 6, 8, 10, 13 & 15 July 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 1 - Friday 5 November 1999
Episode Numbers: 3407 - 3411

Monday (3407, Monday 6 July 1992)
Extra episode screened as a spoiler to BBC's new soap Eldorado

Alf says nowt!

Emily stops in to see Ivy and ask if there's anything she can do to help Ivy, shopping perhaps? (Nearly back in top form is Emily!) Ivy's touched but declares she's got it all well in hand. She's reticent about divulging any details when Emily asks after Don and makes comments about visiting him. It's almost as if Ivy wants to say something but can't quite bring herself to.

Curly frets that Angie is distracting the builder, Neil, from his appointed rounds and not a little jealous too, I would wager. He even makes excuses later in the day to call home for progress reports and for meal suggestions. Angie's not fooled. Curly is headed for disappointment though. When he arrives home with a nice piece of haddock for their tea, he discovers that Angie has already go herself a nice piece for tea She and Hanif are having a business dinner out!

Reg and Alf nearly come to blows over the oranges because Reg insists Alf help him find out if Ted is after Rita's money. When Alf backs down, Reg insults him and Betty Turpin steps in to break it up. Alf subsequently spends most of the day defending the gossip about the scuffle and saying Nowt. (He must have said it at least 12 times, I didn't keep count!!! LOL!)

Ivy is torn over whether to visit Don today or not given his recent rejection of her. Gail urges her to go, feeling Don's just been though so much lately that he isn't thinking clearly. Ivy is sure that Don means what he says when he said he doesn't want to come home. Ivy confirms she hasn't told anyone yet that Don's lost his leg, partly because she doesn't want everyone's pity and partly because she thinks they'll all say it was her fault, driving him away to another woman. She decides to take a chance and is pleasantly surprised when she finds Don sitting up eagerly waiting for her visit. (But his face still looks like Dr. Frankenstein has been at him! Kudos to the excellent makeup people!) While she arranges flowers, he chats normally about the grandchildren visiting as if there was nothing wrong between he and Ivy and Ivy gratefully and hopefully goes along, hesitant to rock the boat.

Audrey and Mavis chat about Don's condition and what Ivy's had to cope with (little do they know!) Audrey allows as how Ivy's a good sort, just not *her* sort! Derek actually seems happy for a change until Ted pops in with a rose each for the ladies and to let them know he and Rita will be at his house if they are needed. It's too good to last and after he and Audrey leave, Derek gets petulant, childishly mimicking something Ted's said, exasperating Mavis.

Betty mentions the argy bargy between Reg and Alf to Bet. Bet is starting to believe there's something to it all. Maybe Ted Is after Rita's money though Betty thinks he has plenty of his own and has known Rita for years. But Bet's logic has Ted taking advantage of Rita when she was in a vulnerable place after Alan Bradley and then the break-ins. Something just isn't right, Bet shakes her head ominously, Rita isn't the happy newlywed she should be which is what is making Bet wary. She mentions this later in the pub to Alf who declines to comment. He's saying nowt! Betty still thinks it's all summat and nowt but later does a startling about face after a comment by Neil which was hardly enough to turn a page let alone turn her opinion around. All Neil said was that aside from Curly on his back watching how the window fitting was going, someone fitting Ted's description was also urging Neil not to be too long about his job. (Well of course he would, Rita's paying for it which Neil must have known though it sounded to me like he thought Curly was) But that was hardly a reason for Betty to turn around and tell Bet she's starting to change her mind after all. Stupid Plot Trick.

Emily has been invited to go to Ted's to contribute a spare pair of hands in the garden if she feels up to it. She's looking forward to it immensely, just what the doctor ordered. It's very good to see Emily smile and laugh again! Percy is pleased to see she's back to normal but does have one more thing on his mind. She jumps to the sort of wrong conclusion and realizes he's been out of pocket for various sundry items while she was ill. He's more concerned with money someone else owes her (Mike) but even when he tries to broach the subject later in the pub, she manages to put him off for another time.

Reg frets over Alf's temper. Curly figures Alf might just have been in a bad mood and Reg was in the wrong place and felt the brunt of it. He ought to make it up with Alf or risk falling out with Rita or he could admit Ted Sullivan is the better man and give up. This nearly sends BeTwitched into convulsions, assuring us of a scene much later in the shop. More on that in a moment.

That afternoon in the shop, Alf is again defending his scuffle to Phyllis and Derek who can't resist sticking his two penn'orth in about his opinions about the Encroacher. Alf continues to pledge his silence on the matter. Derek admires Alf's strength of character His silence has an eloquence all of its own. After all, what can one say about the unspeakable!!! And with that Derek sails out leaving Alf to wonder how Derek could be under the impression Alf agreed with him when he really didn't day owt. But it was the way you said it, points out dear Phyllis of Blue. Derek returns to the Kabin to find Emily and Mavis talking about Ted and his garden. Derek makes a caustic remark which Mavis dismisses, saying that Derek has a "thing" about Ted. But Derek, taking a stalwart page from Alf's book of restraintsays nowt. His lips are sealed!

Later Audrey witnesses Alf and Reg shaking hands after they put their argument behind them. Audrey realizes the argument wasn't over the price of bananas or somesuch, it was about Ted. Honestleh, She snorts, you just can't keep yer mouth shut, can yer!? LOL!

In the pub, Bet politely but coolly declines Ted's offer of a drink when he gets his and Rita's in. He picks up on her attitude and mentions to Rita that a few of her friends appear to have taken a dislike to him.

Ivy tells Gail how well Don seemed today and she's all excited and is letting herself be optimistic finally. Gail smiles and predicts everything will be alright now and reminds Ivy to call on her if she needs anything. On the way home, Martin is less optimistic. He warns Gail that Don won't be in his right mind, will he? After surgery like that, he'll be on happy pills, painkillers or sedatives won't he? His mood was probably artificially induced!!

Diane Johnston

Written by TOM ELLIOTT Directed by JULIAN FARINO

Tuesday (3408, Wednesday 8 July 1992)

The day begins with Percy checking the mail awaiting on the front door mat. Emily tells him to just leave it on the sideboard; she's off to assist Ted and Rita in Ted's garden again today and is clearly looking forward to it. Percy anxiously notes that one of the letters is from the Building Society and comments several times how he just couldn't go off and leave a letter like that unopened, but Emily's mind is on other things and she pays no attention.

Meanwhile at the flat, Ted and Rita are preparing for the same outing. Ted comments on the fact that Emily is joining them and that he enjoys her company. This gives Rita the idea of throwing a party. Ted responds that his friends would come, but he doesn't know about Rita's. He feels they've got something against him. Rita tells Ted to pay no mind to Derek, but Ted points out that Alf, Fred, and Bet have also sent signals to make him feel they don't like him. Rita is certain Ted must be mistaken.

At Bettabuys Curly is moaning to Reg about having the builders in. Reg, who knows something about everything, is more than happy to offer advice: "You have to talk to the British Working Man in words of one syllable or less!" "You can't have less than one syllable!" protests Curly. "Ah yes, you can..." begins Reg but as they are leaving our field of view and hearing we unfortunately are not privy to his phonetic theory!

Around the corner Vera and Ivy are stacking shelves. Vera inquires after Don, and Ivy says she thinks he's better. In response to Vera's question Ivy says yes, Don should be able to drive again. Ivy gets more and more upset as she ends up shouting tearfully, "Even if he can't drive, I just want 'im 'ome!" Vera comforts her but seems puzzled at the extremity of her distress.

In the Caff Steve and Gail show Audreha a postcard from the new Mrs. Baldwin. Audrey humourously compares the Mike and Alma courtship to "playing Blind Man's Bluff on a merry-go-round!" and expresses her relief that it's over. Gail accuses her of being overly optimistic if that's what she thinks! Percy comes in and overhears them talking about Mike and Alma's honeymoon. He makes some sharp comments about Mike holidaying on "someone else's money". "He's a crook!" declares Percy. Audrey warns Percy that Mike could have him in court fot that kind of talk. "Let 'im!" says Percy before stalking off to a table.

Ted and Emily chat as they tend roses in the garden. They talk about regretting things. Ted asks if Emily ever has any regrets about the future; only that there's not enough of it, says Mrs. Bishop, but goes on to add with a smile not to listen to her, she's mad or so they tell her. She tells Ted that she loves roses but never had a garden of her own; therefore, every rose she looks at has the shade of regret, but that only makes it all the more beautiful. Ted is very thoughful at these words as Emily walks away and he contemplates her words and the rose in his hand.

Where is Rita while they are talking about regrets past and future? She has gone back to Coronation Street, to the Rovers where she asks for a word with Bet. They go into the living quarters for some privacy, where Rita asks Bet if Bet would tell her if people were talking behind her back? Bet's lack of a direct answer is answer enough. Is Bet one of them? inquires Rita, only Bet's refusal of Ted's drink last night made him feel Bet doesn't care for him. Bet says she's sorry if she can't always hide her feelings. As Rita presses, Bet admits her concerns: what happened to them going to Florida? No talk of that recently. And what about Rita selling her flat? Rita asks who told Bet about that, but Bet replies that it doesn't matter who. Bet tells Rita that she sees her when Rita thinks she doesn't and she knows when Rita's hiding something, and Reet is now. She also implies that others are saying the same things she is. Rita snaps that peoples' opinions are unwelcome and ill-informed. None of them know a thing about her situation or Ted and they'd do well to remember that! As Alec interrupts she snaps that she was just leaving and storms out. As she walks past the bar she snarls "And you can keep your opinions to y'self an' all!" A bewildered Derek asks Bet, who's followed Rita, what that was all about. Bet replies that she thinks Rita's made a mistake - and she knows it.

Martin is visiting a depressed Don in hospital. Don says he wants to get out of hospital - he just can't see himself going home! In fact, he declares that he's not going back to Ivy. He made up his mind before this happened. When Martin tries to dissuade Don, Don accuses Martin of implying that unless you have two feet you can't make up your own mind. Well, he's telling Martin different!

Rita returns to Ted's garden. Emily goes off to put on the kettle and Rita and Ted sit down for a talk. Rita tells Ted she has been back to Coronation Street to have a word with Bet. She asks whether Ted has told anyone she is selling the flat? Ted thinks, then says that he *did* mention it to Alf. Rita sighs and says that before today, she thought that Ted was imagining things about folk disliking him, that perhaps it was all part of his illness. "Oh I see," says Ted good-naturedly - "the good news is I'm not going mad, and your friends have something against me!" Rita replies that she suspects they think Ted is after her money!!! Ted laughs heartily at this. Then he has Rita reassure him that she has told no-one about him being ill. No, Reet assures him, but she'd really like to tell one or two - but Ted is firm. "They'll know when they know." And how will they feel then? asks Rita. "Very relieved, by the sounds of it!" says Ted.

Curly is on his sofa with Neil the builder over his shoulder and a calculator and fine-toothed comb on his lap with which to go through the invoice. Angie returns home and she and Neil begin alternately flirting and teasing Curly about the bill. The builder offers to take Angie on a holiday with Curly's money and she jokes that she'll consider it.

After Neil leaves Norman is very annoyed with Angie for not taking this seriously. She tells him he'll get the money back from Rita, and anyway, why does everyone have to be so serious just because Curly is suddenly "Mr. Mortgage"? Curly is obviously in a pensive and broody mood as he says "it's time" to get serious about his life. However, anytime he gets serious about someone, the next thing he knows they're across the street getting serious with Des Barnes! And Angie, he continues - she'll just pack up and be gone one day, wooosh. Angie cautiously says that Curly wasn't fixing the windows up to make a cosy little nest for *her*, was he? Of course not, replies Curly. Glumly he continues that he's not making a cosy little nest for *anyone*, probably.

Gail pays Steve for the work he's done at the Cafe and tells him he did a good job. He pleasantly replies that it was more fun than he'd anticipated and that if she needs anyone to fill in again, he's her lad. (Yes, the Personality Transplant Fairy has certainly had a go at Steve MacDonald in the intervening years.) She says she will do that, and Steve leaves as Martin enters. He offers to buy her a drink at the Rovers and fill her in on how his visit with Don went.

Upon entering the bar, the pair run into Ivy who was just on her way to the hospital with a bottle of stout for Don. Gail volunteers that Martin has just been to see Don and Ivy pumps Martin for info about how Don seemed. Martin says several non-committal things about how he seemed okay, and as Ivy leaves Martin thanks Gail for "dropping him in it" by telling Ivy he'd been to see Don - after all, he says, he could hardly tell her the truth. "Why, are there complications?" inquires Gail. "Complicatons!" repeats Martin. "He's only said he's not coming home!"

Curly and Angie enter the pub and Curly offers to buy Angie, Gail and Martin a round, warning them it could be the last round he can ever afford. "He's buying a house," explains Angie dryly. "I never knew it could be such an emotional roller coaster." (That, my dear Angela, is because you have obviously never bought one!!!)

Martin and Gail briefly privately discuss Don's bombshell and Martin assures Gail that Don seemed to definitely mean what he said.

Earlier at the bar, Percy buttonholed Ken because, he points out, they both have the same opinion of Mike Baldwin - "he's a nasty piece of work!" declares Percy. Now we see Ken telling Perc that while he agrees with his opinion of Mike, he is not sure he wants to discuss him! Percy wonders, then, if Ken would also agree with him about Emily, and Ken reiterates that he's not sure he would like to discuss *her*, either! Percy certainly does, however, and leads Ken to a table where he begins by mentioning Emily's depression. In no time he has told a stunned Ken that Mike got £10,000 out of Emily. "£10,000 ?" repeats Ken in shock. Yes, and not only that, but Percy puts it down to Alma as well - to pay for the ring and honeymoon. "She wouldn't have married him otherwise!" Percy declares to a for-once speechless Ken.

ronniecat

Neil Mitchell: JOHN LLOYD FILLINGHAM
Written by JULIAN ROCHE Directed by JULIAN FARINO

Wednesday (3409, Friday 10 July 1992)

Another day dawns on the street, and at the Duckworth residence, Vera is depressed over Terry's trial, which is due to start soon. She moans to Jack that Terry has to get off for the baby's sake, but Jack unsympathetically pronounces that Terry booked himself a long stay in prison when he pulled off his escape at the wedding. Lisa comes into the room, and she and Vera compare notes on their sleepless night. Jack tells Lisa that he hopes she won't mind, but he won't be going to the trial. Lisa doesn't have a problem with that, but Vera is disgusted that Jack won't be there for his own son.

The Websters are also preparing for their day, and as Kevin leaves he tells Sally that he has to be at work on time today, given that it's Mike first day back from his honeymoon. As Kevin is going out, the Platts arrive with kids in tow.

Meanwhile, Mike and Alma get ready for their first day of work after their honeymoon in Spain. Mike tries to convince Alma to spend the day with him, but Alma reminds him that Gail will be expecting her at the Cafe.

Ken approaches Kevin at the garage, and when he asks how business is doing, Kevin laughs, knowing that the welfare of Mike's establishment is the farthest thing from Ken's mind. Ken remarks that it can't be cheap going on a two-week honeymoon, so he can't help but wonder if Mike is in financial trouble as a consequence. Kevin, who felt his day was going fine up until that point, tells Ken that he's now got him worried. Ken begins talking in riddles, explaining to Kevin that "a certain person," borrowed a large sum of money. Once the penny drops, Kevin gets his back up, and he tells Ken that he's aware that Mike borrowed money to start his new car-parts enterprise, and in any event it's none of Ken's business.

Over at the Corner Shop, Bet asks Alf if Rita has been in that day, and for some reason this starts Alf on a tirade about women becoming slaves to love. As far as Alf's concerned, Ted is nothing but a con artist who went after Rita for her money. Audrey interrupts him by telling him to stop slandering Ted -- Alf knows nothing about the situation between Ted and Rita.

Mike arrives at M.V.B. Motors, and jokingly asks Kev how he enjoyed his holiday. Kevin is confused until Mike points out that "while the cat's away, the mice will play." Kev can prove he's been busy, if Mike wants to have a look at the books. Mike gives Kevin a big speech about not bringing him anything from Spain, but eventually produces a bottle of fine Spanish brandy.

Back at the Corner Shop, Alf is still going on about Ted, and in utter exasperation, Audrey realizes that the only way to put a stop to it is to tell Alf the truth. When she announces that Rita told her that Ted is dying, Alf is taken aback. In shock, he wonders if Rita is sure -- after all, Ted looks quite normal. Audrey explains that Ted has a brain tumour, which is why he and Rita decided against the plan to move to Florida. She also swears Alf to secrecy. Once he's recovered from the shock, Alf can't help but wonder why Rita would marry Ted, knowing that he was "in that state."

Over lunch at home, Kevin tells Sally how well his day has been going and how pleased Mike was with the state of the garage's books. As he prepares to go back to work, he and Sally hear some thumping sounds, and realize fairly quickly that little David has fallen down the stairs.

Mike orders a cup of tea from Alma while Gail teases and accuses him of harrassing the staff. The telephone rings, and Gail learns of David's accident. She tells Sally to take him directly to the hospital and she will meet them there. When Mike realizes what is happening, he offers to give Gail a lift.

While at work at Bettabuys, Vera complains to Ivy that Jack doesn't want to go and watch his own son's trial, and compares him to one of those insects that eat their young. Alf, meanwhile, arrives at the store and finds Reg, with whom he wants a quiet word. Straight to the point, Alf tells Reg that he was wrong about Ted and that he knows now that he's not after Rita's money. "He's not a fit man," Alf says, but he also makes it clear that he can't say more than that. An unconvinced Reg merely laughs and pronounces again that Ted is after the lot -- Rita's house, money, and love!

At the hospital, an embarrassed Sally tries to explain to Gail that she lost track of David for a few minutes when he fell down the stairs. Gail assures her that it isn't her fault, but the duty nurse wants only to know if Sally, as David's child-minder, is registered. Both Sally and Gail are amazed to learn that even the neighbourly deal they have is governed by regulations, and Sally is supposed to be registered in order to look after anyone else's child; otherwise, she's breaking the law.

Rita confronts Audrey in the Corner Shop and demands to know why everyone has been giving Ted the cold shoulder. Audrey tries to convince her that it's all a misunderstanding, and that jealousy is at the heart of the matter. After all, Alf once fancied Rita, and Reg has always made his feelings toward her very clear. Than she blurts out that she told Alf about Ted's condition -- she had to in order to make him understand -- and she offers for her and Alf to meet Ted and Rita in the Rover's Return that night.

Martin holds David on his lap in the Cafe. He seems no worse for his ordeal except for a tiny stitch in his forehead. Gail tells Alma that she and Sally just learned that Sally is supposed to be a registered child-minder if she wants to babysit. Martin points out that they need Sally's services, and wonders if she'll be able to continue looking after their kids, but no one seems to have the answer to that.

Alf arrives back from his Council meeting, where "dog dirt" seemed to be a hot topic. He'd like nothing better than to get home, order a Chinese take-away, put his feet up and watch telly, but Audrey has other plans.

Ted and Rita order drinks and are joined a few moments later by Alf and Audrey. Aware that he's been unfair to Ted, Alf tries his best to be sociable, but it seems he's constantly putting his foot in his mouth, especially when he remarks that "life is too short."

Meanwhile, Jack Duckworth waxes eloquent to Des about women in love. He moans about Terry ending up in prison after leaving Lisa in the lurch, but Lisa is still devoted to him. Then he points to Ted and Rita, remarking that in spite of all the innuendo about Ted marrying her for her money, Rita seems to think the sun shines out of his backside.

Ted, Rita, Audrey and Alf enjoy a pub meal together while Alf rather inappropriately natters on about his Council meeting and "dog muck." Reg Holdsworth stops at the table and sarcastically asks if Ted is enjoying his meal. When Ted responds that he is, Reg remarks that "it's good to see your problem isn't affecting your appetite." While Alf tries unsuccessfully to stop him, Reg blunders on, saying "that's the best sort of health problem -- one that gets you sympathy and a wife, but doesn't put you off your food." As Reg leaves, Ted gets up from the table, glowers at Rita (who insists that Reg is just being a fool) and says "so, the world and its dog knows my business -- and owt care." Throwing down a handful of coins, he storms out of the pub. Rita quickly follows him, leaving Audrey to stare at Alf in disbelief. When she surmises that he was the one who told Reg, Alf tries to insist that it "wasn't like that," but all Audrey can say is that she'll never trust him again.

Mike and Alma arrive at the bar and are warmly greeted by Alec. When Alec bows and kisses Alma's hand, she laughingly warns him to be careful of her wedding band, and a short conversation between her and Mike follow, as Mike declares her ring to be worth a small fortune. Overhearing this merriment, Ken sarcastically comments that it's easy to throw money around when it's not your own. When Mike asks Ken to repeat himself, Ken says basically the same thing, this time adding that the money was borrowed from someone in a weak and confused state. As usual, Mike only laughs off the remark when Ken leaves.

Heather Morlan

Sister Lancaster: ANNA MACKMIN
Written by STEPHEN MALLATRATT Directed by NICHOLAS FERGUSON

Thursday (3410, Monday 13 July 1992)

Trials and Tribulations

It's Terry's trial today. Lisa and Vera are ready to leave but Jack insists he isn't' going and no amount of badgering by Vera is going to change his mind. He first uses the excuse that they can't afford to lose a day's pay each but the real reason seems to be that he just couldn't stand there and watch Terry go down. And I really think Jack means it, managing to convey one or two feelings of concern for his son. At this point in history, Jack hasn't turned away from his son completely. When Vera hangs back to borrow some money for petrol he even holds her hand and asks her to tell Terry from him that they'll look after Lisa and the baby. Vera softens slightly and gives him no further grief. (there will be enough of that to go around later)

Alma and Mike discuss Ken's nasty insinuations regarding Mike taking advantage of a sick and confused Emily and her money. Mike doesn't care what Ken believes but he does care if people will believe Ken's rantings and assures Alma that Emily was clear headed the day she offered him money. (She was, I remember!)

Meanwhile, Emily is heading out gardening again after assuring poor old Percy that she's not trying to avoid him.

Alec makes small talk about the upcoming St. Swithin's day on July 15. Apparently if it rains that day it will rain for 40 days. Raquel has no earthly clue who "St. Thingy" was nor for that matter, does Alec really. He just thought it was interesting. Jack is curious now and mithers Alec since he couldn't provide the rest of the story, kind of like a mystery without finding out the end. Alec, exasperated, has an idea and runs to the back to find something while Raquel muses that Alec doesn't seem the religious sort, on about Saints and such.

Alec returns with a book called the Brewer's Dictionary (I looked it up, it is a dictionary of "Phrase and Fable") which he saw in the window of a Christian charity shop around the time he was first acquiring the license for the Rovers. He thought it might be useful in the beer trade. Anyway it wasn't what he thought but he looks up an entry for St. Swithin and reads to them(but he must have found it interesting enough and anyway charity shops don't do refunds do they?)

History lesson: St Swithin was a Bishop of Winchester and an advisor to King Egbert of Wessex. He died in 862 and wanted to be buried in the churchyard of Winchester so he could feel God's sweet rain on his grave. Later when he was to be canonized, the monks thought to honour him by bringing his remains inside and bury him in the choir of the Minster but it rained on the day they planned to do this, July 15, and it continued to rain for 40 days and nights (what? No ark?) so they wisely realized St. Swithin was trying to tell them something and left him to stay put.

Raquel becomes smug with an I Told You So to Jack behind Alec's back, "Religious" she mouths. Raquel and Jack aren't overly impressed by the story (although I am!) and Alec soon uncomfortably tells them all to get back to work!

Back to the present day Alma defends Mike's business dealings with Emily to Percy when she confirms that Ken got the information from the old man. She defends it all again to Gail though Gail thinks that as long as Emily isn't complaining, nobody has any right to interfere. Maybe Mike ought to find out from Emily herself. Alma discusses this with Mike later and suggests he give back the money. At first he resists but after she points out that it would stop the talk and he'd come out looking good, he agrees.

Sally is still babysitting David but a social worker comes to call to investigate. She explains about insurance and child minding legislation. What Kevin dismisses as being a load of red tape, is really there for the child's protection. It would take 3 months for Sally to get properly registered, however and she couldn't mind kids in the meantime!

In a completely unrelated appearance, designed no doubt to fulfill contractual obligations for a regulation number of paid appearances a week, we are suddenly transported to the MacDonald's living room where Liz is asking Steve where Jim has gone. Steve has no idea but surmises Jim has a job interview because he left some time ago in a suit and tie. In a startling revelation, Liz now knows exactly where Jim is. He went to see about rejoining the army. An old mate, a recruiting sergeant, called just this morning "to see how his old mucker was" so now she's all upset at the prospect.

When Jim returns later, much the worse for the drink, Liz lays into him. He lumps in a chair and tries to exschplain that he was only exschplorin' the posshibilitiesh. She's disgusted and warns him that if he re-ups, she'll leave him! No worriesh there, they don't want him anyway. He's too old (so he drowned his sorrows with his old army buddies) Now he's depressed and feeling extremely sorry for himself, feeling his life is over. I don't think he's going to get much sympathy from his wife.

Mike arrives at number 3 but Emily's not at home yet. Mike gives Percy a good tongue lashing about other people's business.

Vera and Lisa arrive home. Jack, who must have been watching for them, helps Lisa out of the car protectively. Both women look grim faced. Jack tries to get Vera inside first but she breaks down and tells him Terry was sentenced to three years. Inside, the three of them sit at the table, trying to absorb the shock of the sentence. Lisa hopefully says Terry could be out in 18 months. Jack is highly skeptical since that means good behaviour and that would be a first for their Terry! Vera decides she needs a hot bath to relax and leaves. Lisa says she promised Terry she'd wait for him and tells Jack that Terry took the news badly for her sake. Jack promises they will look after her and the baby, if that's what she wants though it's too bad she fell out with her parents.

Emily returns with a smile on her face, colour in her cheeks , flowers in her arms and a voracious appetite. Mr. Sugden's got a ham salad all ready but doesn't tell her about Mike's visit.

Sally gives Gail the bad news and Kevin insists that she can't mind David anymore until this is sorted out. He doesn't want his wife to have to go to court. Gail, however, is very upset (understandably, being left in the lurch) and lashes out, accusing Sally of not paying proper attention to David resulting in his fall. Sally rears back and says nothing out of guilt and hurt feelings.

Poor Alec he can't seem to find a room in his house without running into his lodger's beauty rituals. In this case, toenail painting ("crushed flamingo!") in the living room. He tries to convince Des to win her back but Des knows it's too late. He's blown it. Jack is behind the bar but really seems like he's been faced by the news about Terry even though he maintained that he expected Terry to go down. Reality seems to have affected Jack like a blow to the stomach. Percy comes seeking Ken and fills Ken in on Mike's visit, further inflaming Ken by implying Mike must have come to get more money out of Emily. This of course, means war!

Lisa is trying to decide what the right thing is to do. If her mother would take her back in, maybe that would be the best for the baby as there is more room and a garden there. She's ever so grateful for all Jack and Vera have done but wants to do what's best for the baby.

Diane Johnston

Margaret Thurlow CLARE DOW
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by NICHOLAS FERGUSON

Friday (3411, Wednesday 15 July 1992)

Gail is in the poop zone without a nappie, which in simple terminology means she has to find a replacement childminder for Sally and fast. Audreh agrees to pinch hit just for the day but it looks as though Gail will be forced to take tomorrow off. But wait, Sally has come up with a plan... According to the Citizens Advisory Bureau, there would be nothing illegal about Sally minding David in his own home. Gail and Martin readily approve the plan, as does Kevin.

Vera does her best to persuade Lisa to stay in Weatherfield. She grasps at an assortment of reasons for her inclination to go home, finally sussing that Jack's been talking to her. He denies it but guilt feelings surface when Vera gets emotional at the prospect of losing another grandchild, and he decides to have a talk with Lisa himself. "But Jack, I thought you said it was a rough neighbourhood?" "Oh aye - rough and *ready*!" he answers cheerfully, in a bid to convince her the baby would have as wholesome an environment here as in Blackpool. By nightfall, it appears Lisa is having a rethink as Vera says she'll care for the baby as though it's her own, even promising Jack's services for midnight feeds so that Lisa won't have to get up. For his part, Jack seems now to be truly dedicated to his coming grandchild. Filling in for Raquel so as to earn extra brass, he remarks to Des that the child could one day be Prime Minister! Des sarcastically answers that such an eventuality would require a huge shift to the "Raving Loonies"!

Jack was to have the night off but as things develop, he ends up working for Raquel. At the start of the day she confides to Bet that she feels "in the way" here, and talks about going back to London to resume her modelling career. Bet is mortified at the idea of Raquel in the big city with no firm arrangements and prevails upon Alec to persuade her to stay. He certainly doesn't want to lose his prize barmaid, not now she's only just learned to pull a pint! He more than manages to make her feel at home. She's all set to put her feet up and watch a video with Bet when Gordon Blinkhorn, brother to Raquel's friend Avril, arrives. Greeting the surprise visitor in the pub with a towel twisted around her freshly washed hair, she ushers him into the back, directing Jack to bring them drinks.

Unprepared for company, Bet is happily running the cordless shaver over her legs as Raquel and Gordon enter the parlour. Startled at the intrusion, she jumps up saying she'll go change and give Alec a hand in the bar. It's not long before she confronts Alec, demanding to know "what the hell (he) said to Raquel"! As the evening wears on, it's increasingly evident that Gordon is in no hurry to go home. Raquel's hospitality runs to offering a meal prepared by Liz and endless drinks of lager and black currant from the bar. Oblivious to the annoyance she's creating, during one of her trips to the bar for a refill, she croons to Bet that Gordon is "dying" to have a chat with her and Alec once the pub closes. Apparently he's met some "very famous" people, including Lester Piggot and can't wait to tell Bet all about it. Singularly unimpressed, Bet waits for her to retreat again before asking Alec *when* Mr. Gordon Blinkhorn will be leaving!

Alma has a bone to pick with Ken. She believes his attacks on Mike are motivated by petty jealousy over her marrying him. Ken denies it, saying it's a matter of principle and that Mike has got away with far too much already. Meanwhile, Mike gets short shrift from Percy in the pub and makes the decision to go and see Emily personally. He is gratified to hear that she does indeed remember lending him the money for his business. She is embarrassed and upset to hear what Percy has been saying about their business arrangement, more so when she hears that Ken has been spreading it about the Rovers. When she confronts Ken about it in the street, he pompously defends himself, saying he was acting in her "best interests". Emily assures him (as is her wont) that she is "quite capable" of managing her own affairs!

At the end of the day, Mike seeks out Ken in the Rovers. Despite pleas from Bet and Alec to take the matter outside, Mike insists that as Ken's slanderous charges were made publicly, he too will deal in public. Calling on Des as witness to the fact that Ken has been saying he swindled a sick woman, Mike announces that he is suing him for slander!

Anita Bélanger

Gordon Blinkhorn - MARK CHATTERTON
Written by PHIL WOODS Directed by NICHOLAS FERGUSON


Originally transmitted: 17, 20, 22, 24 & 27 July 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 8 - Friday 12 November 1999
Episode Numbers: 3412 - 3416

Monday (3412, Friday 17 July 1992)

Mike spends most of the day obsessing about his intended lawsuit against Ken for slandering him, saying he deliberately took advantage of a sick old widow. He argues with Alma in the morning and later searches for willing witnesses for the court case. Only Des tells him to get knotted because he doesn't want to get involved and Kevin darkly predicts he could be a very unreliable witness making ominous references to dodgy invoices. Again later in the café, Gail has nearly had it up to here with it all and Alma tries to talk Mike into backing down if Ken apologizes.

Jim snaps at Steve who takes it personally, wondering what he's done yet again. Liz tries to get her son to realize that Jim is only reacting badly to having to give up his business, his dream. Later Steve makes peace with his father by offering to help pack up the shop and fences are mended once again.

Curly has received the final papers for his house ownership and the idea of settling down and being anchored to a little spot of the earth 4000 miles deep (to the core of the earth) seems to be weighing heavily on him as he philosophizes to anyone that will listen about the overwhelming implications of it all. His little place in the universe. Guess it's hit home that he's finally a grown up !LOL Andy is hoping to get a bit of overtime before his footloose and fancy free rail trip and this seems to send Curly into further paroxysms of regret although I think it's actually a normal reaction to owning one's first house. It's quite a big step!

Lisa and Vera have received good news. Terry won't be transferred to any far flung prison and will be staying put in Manchester. Especially good news for Vera since Lisa wants to be near Terry and decides she wants to stop with the Duckworths after all.

Ivy visits Don and cheerfully chats to him about the situation between Mike and Ken and doesn't notice how despondent Don is until he tells her he doesn't want her visiting him anymore. She attempts in vain to downplay his decision, chalking it up to his recent trauma but he insists. They were done for before the accident and just because he is missing a leg doesn't mean he can't decide for himself. She realizes he means it and walks away, stunned!

Now we come to the storyline that had me in stitches. It doesn't bear describing so I'll have to do a bit of quoting. You really have to try to picture the participants, hear their voices in your head to truly appreciate it. I hope I can do it justice!

Alec greets a wizened gentleman, a man possibly around 60 years of age. He's got a horrible brown toupee on the likes of which I haven't seen since college when a gray haired instructor used to sport a black top piece. Anyway, Alec greets the man effusively. "Harry Flamin' Norton!!!" (Harry Flamin' Norton indeed!! It's Charlie Flippin' West, so it is!! Same actor! Strewth!) Anyway in his former live on Coronation Street, Charlie, er Harry is an old show business cohort of Alec's and is in due course introduced to Raquel who's quite interested, hoping Harry could get her into show business. There seems to be a bit of an inside joke as Alec and Harry carry on Raquel is told that she doesn't' have the attributes he is looking for.

Alec laughs and Raquel looks puzzled, Why Not?

Alec "Well, Harry's who the stars look to when they want an assistant."

Raquel "Like standing about in fishnet stockings? I can do that cause me legs aren't too bad!"

Alec laughs conspiratorially with Harry "Only problem is you might not have enough or maybe even too many!"

Harry sets Raquel straight, He deals with animals, anything at allpythons for strippers, ducks for magicians. Alec interjects, if a rabbit comes out of a hat anywhere from er.. "City A to City B (didn't catch the names)" you can bet your bottom dollar it's one of Harry's. Now Raquel is really suspicious that they're pulling her leg, cause Alec does, you know.

Harry goes on to explain he's known for it, it's in his blood. Alec asks was it his grandfather or great-grandfather that had fleas? Now Raquel is looking alarmed, positive they're having her on and it doesn't help that Harry describes how they were passed down to an uncle who game them to a museum. (I'm chuckling with tears rolling down my cheeks now, especially when Harry says "My grandfather once trained a flea to do the splits on a circular saw." Alec offers "Mind you, it was never the same after that" "Not with crutches, no!" adds Harry with a grin. Harry clarifies, it was the largest flea circus in the North, was "The Mighty Infinitessimos", irreverently known as "Norton's Performing Nits!" Alec declares "By GOD, they knew what entertainment was in them days!" HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

OK, Well it seems the reason Harry's there is to unload something. He says it's a spider, a spider in a glass terrarium. Only Alec doesn't recognize it at first. Jack and Jim peer over their shoulders curiously, Jack wonders where the spider is, is it under that coconut matting? (that's what it sounded like). No, it IS the coconut matting! Jack recoils and exclaims, that great hairy beast? (with orange and black and white hairy legs!!) That's not a spider, it's a lavvy brush with legs! Harry assures them all it's real, not a rubber joke spider, Raquel has come in for a look too. A Mexican Mouse eating spider too! Harry insists confidently it will bring the punters in for miles around, as people have a fascination with spiders. But you can't over feed it, Harry warns, it'll get all lethargic. One mouse a month is plenty, after all it's like you or me eating a whole cow! It'd slow you down a bit! (*snort*!) Harry and Alec move away from the bar where the regulars and extras on set alike crowd around the glass, peering at the curiosity. Harry points this out, see, once it gets around, he'll have people from all over coming in to have a gawp. On feeding day he'll probably need bobbies on horseback! (scuse me a moment, I need to wipe my eyes! Heh heh heh heh) Alec seems to decide to give the spider a try but when Bet gets hold of him, it won't be there long.

Sure enough, when Bet comes back from her shopping trip, she encounters Liz coming back through the bar, having given up on the logic of it all. Well, see, we have to cook in the kitchen as if it were a surgical operating table but then serving the food in the bar with great hairy spiders roaming round, and that's ok??? Ok it's only one but just the same. Bet has no idea what this is all about and sets to finding out. People are gathered around the spider while Alec tries to distract Bet but she won't be dissuaded. He tries to convince her it's an object of fascination and it's in a case anyway, "I don't care if it's in a three piece suit and spats" Bet spits "it's not stopping here!" She's not surprised he got it from Charlie Norton er well you know. She establishes that he's not got anything else lurking about, no snakes or anything but has no interest in seeing it, especially after Raquel shudders "It's waving it's 'orrible bits!" She orders Alec to get shut of it! (Oh come on, this is funny, funny stuff here! I'm dying!)

It seems to have survived the day at least. Later on, Des, Kevin and Ken are speculating on it's qualities and likening it to Mike Baldwin. That's being a bit unfair, Ken dictates, spiders are quite useful, catching flies and all. He thinks it's a bit of an exaggeration that it eats mice but Kevin insists, no it injects them with poison and then sucks them dry. Oh, well, then it IS like Mike. They all chuckle and discuss Mike's quest for witnesses. Ken is touched that both the men turned Mike down flat. Des sums it up, forget him, he's all spit and wind. Fancy a game of arrows? The three of them go to the dartboard as Raquel, Bet and Alec contemplate the newest lodger. Raquel wonders what you do with it at night, perhaps cover it with a cloth like you do a budgie so it knows to go to sleep? (LOL can you imagine!) Bet knowsShe'd cover it up right smartly with 'alf a brick! Alec wants to bring it in back for the night but Bet won't have it in her living room!

Oh my.

Anyway back to the end of the show, Mike and Alma arrive at the pub. Mike finds Ken playing darts with the lads and arrogantly brays for all to hear "You shot your mouth off and I got shirty, right? Here's the deal, you take back what you said and we'll forget all about it" He's offended when Ken doesn't agree that he's being magnanimous and behaving like a gentleman. Ken tells him bluntly to get stuffed. Even Alma's pleading "Kennnn..???" only gets a stony response, "See you in court!"

Roundup: everyone knows I detest Ken Barlow but I have to admit as I think I may have before, he's at his best when he's feuding with Mike Baldwin. The scene at the end with Ken continuing to coolly play darts while snubbing Mike was played exactly right and you would almost believe the two men detested each other, even in real life! The comedy over the spider today is classic Corrie, stuff we don't see very often anymore. Theresa the turkey and other Les and Charlie West interactions come to mind but it's few and far between these days. I was in stitches over it all. The flea circus bit especially and Bet wanting to cover it with a brick! They just don't write comedy like this anymore! Bravo Julian Roach! And Bravo to the Alec, Harry, Raquel, Jack and Bet!

Diane Johnston

Harry Norton KEITH CLIFFORD
Written by JULIAN ROACH Directed by IAN WHITE

Tuesday (3413, Monday 10 July 1992)

First thing in the morning it may be, but Percy's already out washing Mrs. Bishop's windows when a depressed Ivy leaves her house for work. She barely responds to his cheery and persistent inquiries about Don except to tell him that Don is not up to visitors. She is barely more responsive to Vera who chatters on and on as she picks Ivy up and they drive off to Bettabuys.

Post-breakfast in the Rovers Alec is fretting about the VAT man coming tomorrow. While he assures Bet he wouldn't *dare* fiddle the VAT payments, he'll still have to spend all day making sure there are no mistakes. Raquel slopes downstairs half an hour late for breakfast, as Bet points out. She also reminds Raquel that Vickie is coming soon and hopes it won't "cramp her style", you know, Vickie's friends, Raquel's friends... "Oh, no, the more the merrier," says Raquel blithely, completely missing Bet's point that the Rovers living area will too be overcrowded with their granddaughter coming home and a lodger in, hint hint.

Jim stops by the garage to speak to Kevin about selling off some of the bike shop equipment. He'd rather see it go to a good home, so he would, so he's willing to sell it to Kev for less than market value. Once Kev is satisfied this is what Jim wants he says he thinks it's a great idea but has to run it past Mike.

The Rovers staff are getting ready for the day. Raquel tentatively cleans the outside of Boris the Spider's aquarium and Jack offers to lift the lid so she can clean the inside too as Liz looks on. Their teasing and merriment is interrupted by Bet who sends Jack off to the cellar. Bet and Liz stand together contemplating the aquarium and discussing the spider with Raquel working in the background. Liz attempts to coax Boris into the open by tapping the glass, which is when the three women reach the startling realization that Boris the Spider is not at home!

In the cafe Alma is moaning that all Ken had to do was apologize to Mike to stop this lawsuit business but he was too stubborn. Just then Ken himself comes in for a word and he and Alma sit down. Ken tells Alma his dispute with Mike has nothing to do with her. She begs Ken to drop it and apologize but he repeats that he can't. Alma accuses Ken of wanting revenge against Mike, but Ken insists he just wants to protect Emily. It wasn't revenge, he says - he wouldn't lie to her. "Have you thought you might be lying to yourself?" asks Alma pointedly.

There's now pandemonium in the Rovers and all hands are on deck to deal with the crisis (more or less "on deck". Raquel is standing hilariously on a chair in the corner by the door). Jack is accused by Bet of being the one who let Boris out when he was lifting the lid on the aquarium the previous evening, scaring the women customers, trying to look macho. "You WHAT?" asks Alec, who is in a right state. "I've a pub to open in ten minutes and you've let a deadly spider run loose in here?" he sputters. "Deadly?? Is it deadly??" asks Raquel. Bet assures everyone the spider isn't deadly - do they think Alec would leave a deadly spider in the pub with Duck Egg here on the loose? "Oh, even I could've predicted this," she says. Jack is drafted to look for Boris while the others serve. The important thing is to Act As If Nothing Is Wrong.

At Bettabuys Vera is happily nattering on and on about how she thinks the grandkiddie could be a new lease on life for her and Jack's marriage. Ivy looks at her, smiling bravely, a world of expressions passing over her face - she looks genuinely pleased for her friend's happiness and yet as if her heart will break with the knowledge that her own marriage is in tatters. Curly walks up and asks after Don, adding that with Reg away he'll give Ivy an hour off to visit Don this afternoon if she likes. She declines, saying she'll visit him that night. When Curly moves on Vera can't believe Ivy turned down the time off. Ivy snaps that she doesn't want Reg Holdsworth sacking her on top of all this, before walking away and effectively ending the conversation.

It's lunchtime in the Rovers, and Jack looks rather strange as he lurks about under the bar with a fireplace poker clutched in his pink rubber gloves! Alf looks at him oddly and Alec grabs Jack and takes him aside, instructing him not to be so conspicuous. At the bar, Kev meets up with Mike Baldwin and asks if he'll be dropping this lawsuit now that Des isn't testifying for him, either. On the contrary, Mike says it's still going full tilt. Kev then tells Mike about the sale of Jim's equipment, advising that he's asking a more than fair price and the stuff would be useful to them. Kev says that Jim is asking a couple of hundred quid. "He's desperate," Mike muses. "Offer him a £100." Kev tries to talk Mike into increasing the offer. For the umpteenth time Mike calls Kevin sentimental and says he'll never make a businessman. "Offer him a £120, tops," he says with a grin as he leaves a distressed Kev.

As Jack peers under the bar, Liz places a spider-like hand on his back. Jack screams and knocks things over with a huge clatter, drawing the attention of the entire pub, and especially Alf who is standing right across the bar from him. "What's going on?" shouts an alarmed Alf. Liz, Jack and Raquel are lined up out of earshot to be read the riot act by Alec. He concludes by telling Jack to FIND IT! It'll be a fine thing if someone gets bitten, especially, Liz points out, if that someone is Councilor Roberts! "Only you can suck the poison out," points out Raquel helpfully, to which Jack replies, "Depends on where it bites 'im." "Yes, well, if it comes to that, it's down to YOU, Jack," says Alec menacingly. Alf, who is sitting in the background with no idea what is being discussed concerning him, looks on suspiciously, particularly when they all turn around as one and look at him!

Mike stops by Emily's to find her in the back garden hanging out laundry. He asks her if she would do some bookkeeping for him. She's cautious about computerized bookkeeping, and doesn't want to feel that Mike is doing her a favour by hiring her. When he assures her she will be doing him the favour, because he needs someone trustworthy and dependable, she relents. As Mike leaves to "sort out that computer course" (so why on earth has she still not got a clue about computers seven years later??) he pauses. He tells her that he has no choice but to sue Ken Barlow to preserve his reputation. He is going to have to drag Emily into it, he admits, but the court will only want to know the truth. "I mean, you did know what you were doing when you gave me that cheque, didn't you?" "Well yes, of course I did!" says Emily with no hesitation. Well then, says Baldwin cheerfully, that's all the courts will want to hear. Just tell them the truth.

Alec and Bet are searching for the spider in the living quarters. Alec is crouched half-behind the sofa while Bet hovers over him with a large wooden mallet when Raquel enters. Have they found it yet? she asks. Yes, long ago, Bet deadpans, this is just an old marriage ritual. (LOL!) Recognizing the sarcasm for once, Raquel announces that she has to look for somewhere else to stay as she can't sleep there with the spider on the loose. After she leaves, Bet says, "See Alec? Every cloud has its silver lining." She makes a chirping noise. "Come on out, Boris - you've been reprieved!" (LOL again!)

Raquel slips out of the Rovers for five minutes (taking her packed bags with her. Let's remember this for later in case there's a quiz) passing Emily on her way in. Emily has been looking for Ken and joins him at his table. She begs Ken to drop the dispute with Baldwin. Ken, who fairly drips sanctimonious righteousness through this scene, says he can't do that - "It's a matter of principle". Emily assures Ken she knew what she was doing when she gave Mike the money. Ken patronizingly replies that he isn't sure that she did! This angers Emily, who sharply tells Ken not to use their friendship as a means of getting back at Mike because if it goes to court, "I shall have to tell the truth as I see it, and your vendetta against Mike could end up costing you a great deal of money!" With that, she walks out on a speechless Barlow.

Raquel shows up at, surprise surprise, Curly and Angie's. She tells them of the great Mexican something-or-other spider that's on the loose in the Rovers. "I mean, can you imagine lyin' in bed and all of a sudden this 'orrible 'airy thing comes crawlin' all over me?" she asks. "Thought you'd be used to that by now," Angie says sarcastically. Ignoring her, Raquel pleads to Curly to stay on the settee for the night. (With apparently no sense of shame at all, she prefaces her request with, "I know I've been rotten to ya in the past, but...") Curly the pushover not only allows her to stay but offers her his bed - he'll sleep on the settee. Angie protests that she should have a say but Curly says he practically owns the house now and besides, it's his bed. Raquel drops off those bags (remember them? pretty sure of herself for someone who supposedly realizes how rotten she's been in the past, wasn't she?). After she leaves, Angie calls Curly a mug and expresses disbelief at the spider story. Raquel's had a row with Bet or Alec is Angie's guess.

Ivy shows up at the shop just as Alf and Audrey are closing up. Audrey asks after Don and Ivy says he's fine. Then, when Alf says he is planning to visit Don she suddenly says he's not well enough for visitors. In her panic to keep Alf from visiting Don she says he's had a relapse before rushing out. The puzzled Alf and Audrey agree that they thought Don was on the mend.

At the Rovers, Liz tells Jack the lager is running out. Hadn't he better get down that basement and change it? Jack, who's refused to go into the basement all day for fear of Boris, snaps, "Give 'em bottles!" Raquel is explaining to Bet that she couldn't sleep at the Rovers, "not with that 'orrible thing crawlin' around!" "We couldn't get rid of Jack. He's been here for years!" replies Bet. Harry comes by and wonders why the Amazing Boris isn't on display anymore, before going through to see Alec. A nervous Jack listens at the door as Alec and Bet break the news to Harry.

In the pub's living room, Bet, Alec and Harry are all upset over Boris' disappearance. Alec's concerned the punters will find out, but Harry says never mind the punters, what about him? "That spider's worth the best part of five hundred quid!" It's a rare beast, he goes on - "there's only 'alf a dozen of 'em in captivity!" "There's only five now," deadpans Bet with mock solemnity as Alec gives her a withering glare. Harry says he holds Alec responsible if anything happens to Boris, while Alec clearly holds Jack responsible. Bet and Alec ask for tips as to where to look - "we're new to all this," comments Bet with typical understatement. Harry figures Boris will find a nice warm dark place to curl up - until he gets hungry! Still eavesdropping outside the door, Jack nervously tucks his jeans into his socks!

Alf and Audrey have come in to the pub and run into Gail, who's out for a break while Martin puts the kids to bed. They tell her Ivy says Don's had a relapse, which of course Gail has heard nothing about. Percy, overhearing, walks up and volunteers that Ivy told him not to visit Don that morning, too. Vera's now got her ears perked up and all. They wonder why she would be putting people off visiting if Don were fine? Gail agrees to have a word with her.

Just then Alf and Audrey's food arrives, as does Angie for a drink. Angie warns the Roberts' to be careful of their food, might have a tarantula in it! Audrey laughs but Angie says, "it's true, there's one loose in the pub somewhere. Ask Raquel!" Now Alf, Audrey, Gail, Angie, Percy and Vera are all standing in a frozen tableau staring at a stammering Raquel. Alec and Bet appear from the back just then to ask if there is a problem. Alf replies, "They're sayin' that big spider you've got 'ere got loose!" Alec assures them it hasn't. "Oh, so Raquel was lyin', was she? 'Cause that's what she told Curly!" Angie says angrily. Alf demands to know if it's true or not because it's a serious matter if it is. Bet finally admits that it's true. Alec assures them the spider's not dangerous.

Vera (loudly): That's now what RJack said, he said it eats mice! It must be poisonous! Alec (with mock joviality, trying to appear humoured at her concern): No, no, not at all, Vera. Angie: Well, what does it do, club 'em to death?

Percy steps in to tell them not to panic, "I've seen a lot of this in the desert with scorpions." As Bet closes her eyes in anticipatory despair, he continues, "...now what we need, is the anti-venom." He goes on to suggest they act quickly as "some of these things can paralyze you within hours." Alf, Audrey, Gail and Vera flee at this point. Jack appears from the cellar and Bet snaps that he'd better find that spider - alive. It's worth £500, and if it turns up dead, it's coming out of his wages. At the mention of the £500, Angie's ears perk up visibly. "Is there a reward?" she asks cheerfully. "I'll look for it if there is." Alec is at the door trying to quell the stampede of exiting customers when he is joined by Bet. "Never mind, Alec," she says with typical understatement. "VAT man's coming tomorrow. 'Appen 'e'll find it." They exchange a look as the credits begin to roll.

ronniecat

Harry Norton: KEITH CLIFFORD
Written by HARRY DUFFIN Directed by IAN WHITE

Wednesday (3414, Wednesday 22 July 1992)

Early morning, and Bet has come downstairs looking for Alec. She finds him in the hall, wandering around with a sheaf of papers in his hands, worried about the VAT inspector. He tries to convince her to go back to bed, but Bet's adamant that she won't get into bed alone with a spider on the loose. Alec tells her not to be silly -- it's a Mexican spider, so it'll be looking for a warm place to hide, likely behind the cooker in the kitchen.

Jim MacDonald has had an early morning too, and he's left a note on the dining table, telling Liz that he's at the bike shop. After seeing the note, Liz asks Steve to "go easy" on his dad, as it won't be easy for him to lock-up the place for the last time. Before Steve has a chance to go across the road, though, Jim comes through the door with a stack of invoices. He sadly tells Liz that some of his equipment is just too good to give up, and he wonders if he couldn't continue to do what he's been doing, but on a smaller scale. Liz asks where he thinks he could continue his business, Jim answers that maybe he could use their back yard, and when they both realize how futile this notion is, Liz gives Jim a big hug.

Raquel has spent the night at Curly's, a safe refuge from the escaped spider, and is looking for something for her breakfast. Curly comes downstairs in a right strop, haranguing about the fact that someone left the bathroom light on (he knows this from his visit there at 3:00 AM), and worse than that, the tap was left dripping. When he catches a glimpse of Raquel eating her breakfast cereal, he nearly has a fit when he realizes she's using *today's* bottle of milk, prompting Angie to explain that she was supposed to use yesterday's milk today, and today's milk tomorrow.

Back at the Rover's Return, Bet is wondering where the VAT inspector is just as not one, but two individuals arrive. Mr. Price explains that Miss Mooney is training, while he is there in a supervisory role -- and the sight of two inspectors has a decided effect on Alec. He immediately offers both of them a steak for their tea AND a bottle of wine, both of which are gratefully declined as it seems the pair have packed a lunch and brought a thermos of tea.

Over at Bettabuys, Vera is having problems fitting the many packets of snacks on the shelves, and has worked herself into a lather over the situation when Curly happens on the scene. He tries to offer some advice, none of which will work according to Vera, and ultimately he confesses that he "couldn't give a monkey's" before walking away. Vera then turns to Ivy and asks when she and Jack can visit Don, but a very unhappy Ivy offers excuses and asks that they put the visit off for a few days.

Alec seems to be facing an inquisition from the VAT inspectors, something he was clearly not expecting. "What's your annual mileage?" "Do you have a separate kitchen?" "How often are the pipes cleaned?" "Where does the wastage go?" Alec mumbles answers, constantly smiling and adding bits of unnecessary information to make his case look good. Miss Mooney wants to see the fruit machine, and the telephone bills for the pay phone aren't among the invoices. Alec begins to look through the sideboard for the missing documents, and in his frazzled attempts to appear to know where things are, he inadvertently pulls a drawer out of the sideboard and all the contents spill onto the floor.

Outside, Steve is up a ladder, taking down the sign for Jim's bike shop while Jim loads the last motor bike onto the back of a truck. Observing all this, Kevin comes across and offers to buy the pair a pint. Before leaving for the pub, Steve and Jim stare sadly at the spot where the sign used to hang.

Alec approaches Jack behind the bar, hands him a £1 note, and quietly tells him to go out to a pet shop and buy a mouse.

Reg has been searching for Curly, and makes no bones of how annoyed he is that he couldn't find him. Curly is in a grand funk, and as far as he's concerned, his life is just "smoky bacon and dripping taps." He tells Reg that he was happier when he was working on the bins, and looking out his telescope. He'd love nothing more than to build himself a small observatory, which would really just be a skylight for his telescope, but he doesn't have the money. Reg points out that Curly has "joined the elite," by becoming a landlord, and the obvious solution to his dilemma is to increase Angie's rent.

Jack has returned with a mouse in a small container that looks suspiciously like Chinese take-out. He's about to release it in the room when Alec snappishly tells him that the point of the exercise is to keep the mouse in the box. The spider will "smell" the mouse, climb onto the box, and all they have to do is trap the spider by putting something over the lot. Jack suggests a hat, but Alex casts about for something larger while Jack peers into the container and observes that the mouse seems to be sleeping. Alec comes back with a rather large box and they're about to set the trap when they hear Miss Mooney. Jack hides the mouse container under a cushion on the couch while Alec searches for a tape measure for Miss Mooney. After she leaves the room, the pair prepare to set the trap again -- until Jack realizes that the mouse is no longer in the box. He spots it scurrying across the floor, they give chase, but the mouse runs behind the cooker. Now Jack needs to go out for a mouse trap.

Back at Curly's, Raquel is lording it over Angie and bragging about her evening out, which she'll be spending at a football club. Curly comes into the living room with his telescope just as Gordon, Raquel's date, arrives. Gordon seems to know quite a bit about star-gazing and telescopes, but his conversation with Curly is interrupted by Raquel who insists that they have to dash off to the club. Curly then explains to Angie that he's thinking of building an observatory in the loft, and this brings him around to the matter of rent, but sensing what is to come, Angie cuts him short with a "don't you dare!"

At the game, Gordon hands Raquel an apron (they're obviously in charge of food vending) while she admires a rather handsome player on the field. Gordon explains that his name is Wayne Farrell, and that he's one of the most valuable players in the league.

Ivy sits with her knitting, so deep in thought that she's neither working on her project nor hearing the knocking at the door. When she finally snaps out of her reverie and answers the door, she finds a concerned Gail, who explains that the kids are anxious to visit their grandfather. Ivy does her best to convince Gail that Don "isn't himself," and can't have visitors yet, but Gail knows otherwise from Martin. Ivy has no choice but to admit that the last time she saw Don, he told her that he didn't want to see her again and wouldn't be coming home either. Gail reasons that no matter what Ivy does, folk will find out sooner or later, and she hugs a bewildered Ivy.

Gordon is struggling to serve a queue of hungry customers while Raquel is being less than helpful as she stares longingly at Wayne. She decides that he looks hungry and against Gordon's protests, takes off in Wayne's direction with a piece of chicken. Wayne is busy signing autographs, but Raquel offers him the food, tells him that she's a model, and immediately assures him that she's NOT with Gordon. As they walk together off the field, Raquel tells him that he's probably seen her in magazines while she struggles to undo the ties of her apron. When Wayne assists and helps her remove it, she purrs "oooh, you've done that before."

At the Rover's Return, Jim asks if they've found the spider yet. Jack jokes that it's probably been piddling in their beer, and Jim wonders if they would notice the difference. Mike starts things up again with Ken by telling him that it's lucky for him that he's decided to drop the legal case. He was going to go forward with it, but decided against it because it wouldn't be fair to Emily -- and someone has to put her feelings first.

Alec is summoned to the back room to talk to the VAT inspectors. It seems there are a few problems, all of which will be summarized in a letter which he'll be receiving in a few days. There's quite a discrepancy regarding the "wastage" allowed for emptying the pipes (Miss Mooney measured them), there should be separate accounts for the phones, and Alec's mileage allowances are questionable. Mr. Price informs him that "ignorance of the law is no defence," and that they have found an underpayment, pro-rated over the past five years. The total amounts to £3,500 ! Horror and shock register on Alec's face, as he repeats the amount several times, followed by a desperate "oh...my...God."

Heather Morlan

Miss Mooney: HEATHER PHOENIX Mr. Price: STEVEN GRANVILLE Gordon Binkhorn: MARK CHATTERTON Wayne Farrell: RAY POLHILL
Written by PHIL WOODS Directed by CHARLES LAUDER

Thursday (3415, Friday 24 July 1992)

There's no word on the spider nor the spider bait though the mouse may very well have already met its Maker by now. Boris (that's spidey's name) must still be missing though, because Raquel is still camping out at Curly's, traipsing around in lingerie and eating Angie's grapefruit which causes further squabbling.

Vicky is due home today. Bet and Alec make plans to pick her up at the station and take her to a nice lunch but their plans are thwarted. Vicky's called Steve and asked him to come instead. Steve lets Bet and Alec know, at Liz's behest and you can imagine Alec's reaction! Bet hauls Alec away from the door and manages to shut him up by reminding him that it's near the anniversary of Tim and Sandra's death. Vicky needs to deal with this in her own way. Steve, after a body twisting gawp at a long, leggy blonde, collects Vicky and they eventually make their way back to the pub where Alec is waiting impatiently. Steve gets cut cold by Alec who hustles Vicky to the back.

Alec has spent a lot of time today waiting and fretting. Besides Vicky's homecoming, he's been waiting to hear from his accountant who has been set at the task of looking into the VAT inspection results. He alternates between snapping at fold and leaving frantic messages at the office of the accountant or on the answer phone. Finally, late in the day, he gets through but after hanging up, looking desolate, he hardly gives Vicky any lip at all before she goes out to the pictures with Steve so Bet knows something's up. Seems the VAT results were correct. He owes £3,500! Talk about hitting Alec where it hurts!

Jim seems to have had a trial run as a night watchman and has been offered a full time position but not due to start for a bit. Jim and Liz decide to make plans to go to Northern Ireland to visit his family.

Audrey badgers Gail about the way Ivy's been behaving until Gail finally takes her aside, swears her to secrecy and tells her about Don and Ivy splitting up. Don doesn't want to see her and doesn't want to come home. Later in the show we see Don confirming that with a nurse at the hospital. He has no home to go to when he gets out, not one he wants to go to at least. Audrey of course, fills Alf in. Alf is shattered and shakes his head with worry over the suffering his friends are going through lately. Look at Rita and Ted!

Indeed. Ted starts off the day dropping a teacup. Rita glosses over it but later makes him promise not to hide his worsening condition from her. In the Kabin, Derek again rambles on spitefully about Ted to Mavis and Emily and later Ted and Rita come in. Ted slurs and stumbles over a few words and is looking wan and a bit shaky. Rita takes the blame, saying she was up all night with heartburn which kept Ted awake but Derek isn't fooled. He comes over all condescending to Mavis, gleefully informing her poor naïve self that Ted was quite obviously paralytic, he's a drunk and Rita's got herself saddled with another loser! Mavis decides to extend the hand and shoulder of supportive friendship to Rita later and nervously tells Rita what Derek has concluded. Rats! There's a commercial break and we don't get to see Rita send Mavis away with a flea in her ear. The next time we see Rita and Ted, she's attempting to convince him to let her tell Mavis and Derek the truth because of the conclusions they have made a grand leap into but Ted strenuously insists nobody else should know!

Diane Johnston

Nurse Cunningham SARAH HAY
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Friday (3416, Monday 27 July 1992)

Another day finds Alec anxiously creeping around in search of Boris the spider and its would-be bait, the mouse. When Bet and Vicky come down, he bluffs that the pair have been found, adding the details, "deceased" and "in the back yard", as he goes. Bet reckons that'll wash with the customers unless or until the spider turns up in someone's drink. What'll they say then - that it's Boris' brother come to look for him? Despite Bet's sceptism, Alec insists on keeping up the pretense throughout the day to put the customers (and staff) at their ease. The staff are pleased to hear they no longer have to watch for a mouse and a spider, except that Jack periodically comes up with a question - "How did they die?" or "Do you think they had a fight?" which Alec manages to avoid answering.

As if the worry of spiders and vermin about the place weren't enough, Alec has financial problems on his mind as well. After the VAT's scrutiny, it looks as if he'll be in the poor house if he doesn't watch every penny. That extends to telling Vicky she'll have to make do with buses if she wants to go and see her friends or visit with Saracen! While Alec is delivering a lecture on the necessity of maintaining thrift, Bet is handing the taxi fare over to Vicky on the quiet.

Raquel's beginning to feel a tad unwelcome as far as Angie is concerned... Unintentional though she's sure it is, she questions Angie outright. "Oh but it *is* intentional!" says Angie. The only reason she's around to begin with is owing to Curly being a "weak and pathetic" man. "Like all weak and pathetic men, he likes having a bimbo around!" Raquel gasps in disbelief - "I'll remember you said that!" "Are you sure? I could write it down for you..." offers Angie facetiously. When Raquel later hears that Boris and the mouse are gone, she's only too happy to be able to move back into the Rovers.

Liz and Jim wonder how Alec will react to the idea of her taking time off to go to Ireland since she's only been back a short time. When she reluctantly mentions it, Bet interjects to assure her that she and Alec don't mind a bit. "A nice *family* vacation - just the *three* of them - doesn't that sound a treat, Tiger?" Of course, Alec is only too anxious to agree now that he understands that Steve will be going too! What he doesn't know is that Steve has no intention of accompanying his parents to Belfast. Vicky has been feeling pinched with the restrictions on her spending money and now tells Steve that she intends to ask Uncle Nick for an increase in her allowance. When she hears that he *won't* be going with Jim and Liz on holiday, she brightens as it means he'll be around to help her spend it!

Curly's got a big do coming up, Bettabuys' "Night of Stars" or some such thing. Problem is, he has no one to take. Vera suggests Angie or Raquel, then one of the bevvy of girls who work in the store. He rejects both ideas - landlord in one case and boss in the other - it wouldn't feel right. Besides, he reckons they'd turn him down. (Angie definitely would as she makes it clear to Reg later in the Rovers!) Vera tells him not to give up hope - he could always try a matchmaking agency, she suggests helpfully, pointing out an ad in a magazine. He doesn't care for the notion at first, he has more "self respect" than that. But as Vera points out, "Self respect don't keep you warm at night!" When she leaves, he looks over the ad and after a moment's pause, carefully tears it out, storing it in his breast pocket for later reference.

A social worker has become involved in Don's case. Mr. Joe Lewis, naive soul that he is, decides that Don's unwillingness to go home is owing to his fear of facing people, not unusual for patients who have undergone serious operations. With the best of intentions, he calls Ivy to offer encouragement. She is heartened to hear that Don's recent behaviour is not uncommon, and that she should continue to urge him to come home. However, as far as Don is concerned, *nothing* has changed. The social worker might be forgiven for coming to the wrong conclusion but hasn't he made it clear enough to Ivy? Again this evening, he puts it to her as bluntly as he can - he no longer considers No. 5 his home - it stopped being his home a long time ago!

D-day for Rita and Ted. She's planning to tell Mavis and Derek the dark secret they've been keeping with the intent of clearing up all the misimpressions going around. Derek is cynical about the summons to come to the flat later that day - he reckons they're in for more "messing about". If that is the case, he tells Mavis, Rita can be sure he won't take it lying down this time! When the moment of truth does arrive, Derek says as much to the Sullivans, only to be curtly put in his place by Ted. "Will you please shut up Derek!" Poor Rita can barely get the words out, "Ted has a brain tumour... There's no hope.... He hasn't got long...." Mavis immediately dissolves in tears at the news. Of course it all fits now - the reversal of the decision to sell the Kabin and settle in Florida. As she embraces Rita in sympathy, Derek's face registers his self loathing while Ted stands by stoically, "Well, now you know the truth". (Yes - so perhaps NOW, Derek can stop all his petty griping! Honestly, much as I miss having him around now that he's dead, I can't help feeling very angry with him over the way he's behaved since Rita met Ted!)

Anita Bélanger

Joe Lewis: GOOEY LAW
Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by BRIAN MILLS


Originally transmitted: 29 & 31 July; 3, 5 & 7 August 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 15 - Friday 19 November 1999
Episode Numbers: 3417 - 3421

Monday (3417, Wednesday 29 July 1992)

Vera calls for Ivy but Ivy is staying home as Don is getting out of hospital today and she is going to be there to welcome him home. She's determined he's going to be there. Later we see Ivy arranging flowers and the house is as neat as a pin.

Alec wanders thoughtfully into the kitchen where Bet and Vicky are having bowls of cereal. He's moaning about his debts and smoking a ciggie which elicits a warning from Bet. He ends up putting it out in an ashtray which was lying on the counter nearby. Remember this detail. Liz arrives for work (is Betty on holidays? I thought Liz only worked at night) Liz walks in on a conversation about the cost of the spider and wishes she'd never heard of it. She's spooked now and thinks she sees things moving in dark corners but of course that's all in her mind (so she thinks!) Alec is quick to agree.

We start the next scene hearing how concerned Derek is. Apparently about Ted and his illness which has Mavis murmuring her sympathies on both Ted's and Rita's behalf. Derek's concern doesn't ring true to me, there's no real worry or emotion behind it and sure enough Derek explains his concern doesn't affect his regard for Rita and Ted and he wouldn't say anything but it is a concern none the less. He is worried that once Ted dies, Rita will want to come back to the shop and where will that leave him??? Mavis is astonished at his insensitivity (I'm not!) but he persists. Ted could pop his clogs tomorrow. Mavis recoils, finding that a very vulgar expression. Derek finds "Job Center" even more vulgar (look in the mirror lately?)

Don is managing on his crutches. They must have a non speaking extra (NSE ã Mike Plowman) who has a lower limb missing because twice today we see a gray haired man from the back with his trousers pinned up on one side above the knee. The NSE makes his way to the nurse's station and then we cut to Don who is gratefully thanking the nurses for all their help getting him through it. His boss Frank is there to drive him to digs that he's sorted. Well, Nurse Lucy says politically, You know best. Now mind how you go.

In the café, Gail and Audrey speculate about Don. Will he come home or not. They are wary to go to see Ivy in case they may be seen as intruding. Gail feels this accident must have been like a wake up call to Don, very life changing. After all, the only thing worse than living with someone you can't stand is being dependent on someone you can't stand!

Frank takes Don to a little B&B called Wentworth's and helps him get settled in. The owner is friendly and Don lets her assume he's single. The room is bright and somewhat cheerful. Don is shattered so decides to lie down for a kip after Frank leaves but the dripping tap in the sink drives the point across. .. This isn't "home", not the one he's used to. NSE lays face down on the bed as the camera pans his broken body from above.

At No.5, Ivy waits. She heads over to the phone hesitantly then makes up her mind. (NO hollers I!) Yep. She calls the hospital and Nurse Lucy, who must have been dreading this call, tells Ivy that Don was released over an hour and a half since. Ivy hangs up and explodes in pain NO! NO! Hollers Ivy, who purses her lips tighter than a hen's well forget it. ;)

The tip of a new iceberg appears as Curly makes a phone call to the dating agency and makes an appointment for tomorrow dinnertime under the name of Gerald Murray.

Alec is thrown into a fit when the health inspector, Mr. Steele (good name for him!) arrives for a surprise inspection. He goes through to the kitchen and immediately chastises our brillo-haired cook for not wearing a hat while preparing food. (A hat? Wouldn't a hairnet be more appropriate? She'd need a 10 gallon Stetson to contain that mop!) Remember that fag end? Steele spies that and immediately shifts his focus to that as Alec comes in. Alec tries to pretend one of the draymen must have left it but Steele is not fooled for a moment, I can see it in his eyes, and he gets on with his inspection.

Steve and Vicky are moaning in the café about being skint. Vicky wants her allowance upped (currently £50 a month) which elicits a few poor rich girl comments from Steve. Gail offers a sympathetic ear. Steve is looking forward to having the house to himself while his parents are away. Vicky asks Steve back to the house to watch a video.

Steele is pointing out a crack in the plaster to Alec and reminding him that insects can get down in there. A property this age probably has plenty of livestock living in the walls, he comments. (You don't know the half, mate!) You can start with insects and you'll end up with vermin! (Gee, I hope that mouse ended up being spider bait! Ok, I'm already giggling because the inevitable happens next. ) Alec nearly faints when he spots a spider the size of a cow tiptoeing across the counter top behind Steele. It momentarily hides behind the kettle and then a half dozen tomatoes (*gag*) before coming back around the front. All the while Steele is pointing out yellowy wax buildup on the floor and other points of interest that need improving. Alec just manages to agree with one syllable words while keeping one eye on the progress of the predator. Steele moves over to the oven to check the inside. Alec dashes across the room in a single leap, positioning himself between Steele's view and the spider as Boris makes his way back across the counter towards the pair of them. Alec jerks his arms around him to head off the beast at the pass. Steele notices Alec's twitching which is, at the moment, monumentally Reg-like in proportion and expresses his concern. Alec covers, pretending he's having back spasms. A close up shot shows one of Alec's hands on either side of Boris, staying his progress momentarily though I can just picture one great hairy leg lifting one of Alec's arms to get by! Alec jerks again and begins to look distressed. Steele is done listing his warnings and tells Alec he ought to have his back seen to. Alec agrees and Steele sees himself out. Alec turns around slowly and looks down at the counter with great trepidation just as Liz comes in and screams, Good God, What's That!!! Alec, looking distinctly green around the gills and whimpering slightly, says it WAS either a mouse eating spider or else it is 500 quid down the spout!! He's squashed it!!! EWWWWWW! Alec presses his lips together to avoid throwing up, totally repulsed!

Later Bet and Liz both give him an ear bashing though he's more concerned in case he's been bitten, after all it's got mandibles. Hush, Bet warns, not in front of Jack who's overheard. I'm a married man, I know what mandibles are! (I had to scratch my head to make the connection over this at first. I think he may have meant "mammaries" ! LOL) Alec tries to criticize Liz for violating the health regulation by not wearing a hat. Liz takes exception, this from a man who smokes and leaves butt ends around a kitchen crawling with man eating spiders and mice! Alec defensively orders her to wear a hat from now on, hear that? Bet lifts an eyebrow and comments dryly, Yes, Pot, the Kettle's heard it!

Gail goes to see Ivy at her request. A sherry bottle sits on a table, it's liquid level looking to be down a measure or two and the staircase has a distinct resemblance of a slippery slope to it. :) Ivy tells Gail that Don's not come home. She testily wonders if he is with That Woman but Gail has no idea and hasn't heard anything either. Ivy confesses to having had a glass of sherry. Gail just smiles and allows that perhaps that's not such a bad thing today. Ivy offers her a glass. Initially Gail turns it down but seeing that Ivy wants another, decides to have one with her.

Later on, Alec is obsessing over the adding machine but Bet shows signs of getting frisky. She suggests soft music and "comfortable" clothes and tries to lure Tiger over to the settee with a little neck nuzzling. Finally she sits down and snaps out an order Tiger! Come Here! Alec snaps to attention and finds himself on the settee with her forthwith! Bet is all over him trying her best seduction techniques and though Alec is protesting, we get the feeling it's a lost cause. But they are rudely interrupted when Steve and Vicky come in. Highly embarassed they try to back out but Bet, seeing her mission has already been torpedoed (she only wishes ;) ) invites the teens in so they can all watch the video, giving Alec a knowing look. (I don't think she's going to give up so easily. Alec will probably be set upon after lights out!)

Ivy sobs over her sherry glass, angry and bewildered. Gail tries to murmur words of comfort. There's a knock on the door. Ivy isn't keen on company but when she finds out it's Frank, she lets him in. She interrogates him as to Don's whereabouts and establishes that Don is at a bedsit alone. Ivy erupts in irrational hysterics, wondering Why! What's she done! And why didn't Frank argue Don out of it. The burst of enery over, she cries that she just wants Don back. Frank says he'll tell Ivy where Don is if she'll promise to leave him be for tonight. Bewildered, Ivy cries on Gail's shoulder.

Diane Johnston

John Steele BERNARD LATHAM Nurse Lucy Clark ANNE ORWIN Nurse Denise Harris JACQUELINE KINGTON Frank Huskins BRYN ELLIS Eileen Wentworth LOTTIE WARD
Written by STEPHEN MALLATRATT Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Tuesday (3418, Friday 31 July 1992)

The little plaque says, "Strictly No Smoking" and Alec points it out to Bet as he hangs it on the kitchen door. But, as she informs him, there's no need - she doesn't plan on setting foot in the kitchen! He isn't in the mood for humour today, however. Between the health inspector, the VAT man and a dead spider, he has enough to worry about! Vicky joins them but refuses the offer of breakfast, saying she has to hurry in order to catch her bus to the stables. Alec takes it as a hint and begins to go for his wallet to give her taxi fare. But Vicky tells him not to worry, she's becoming more self sufficient as he asked her to. Pleased to hear it, Alec stuffs his wallet away again but is taken aback when Vicky says as she leaves that she hopes he'll "go on being pleased"!

Vera comes by to fetch Ivy on her way to work but finds her friend still in her housecoat. When Vera asks about Don, Ivy dissolves in tears and confesses that he isn't coming home to her, he prefers to take up residence at a B and B instead. She could almost bear it if he'd moved in with Julie, she says, but to be passed over for a bedsit! Vera can only offer comfort to her friend with a hug.

Rita wakes up this morning to find Ted keeled over in agonizing pain. She rushes to get his pills and he swallows a couple in spite of himself - they just aren't helping anymore. Unable to stand seeing him suffer so, she insists there must be *something* they can do and rings the surgery to arrange an appointment.

Alec is on the phone, trying to get some information about spiders, when Bet glides past on her way "out". He's chagrined that she doesn't say where but transfers his annoyance to Liz when she enters to begin her shift in the kitchen. "Hat! Hat!" he cries. Liz turns to look at him, "Pardon?" "Where's your hat?" he repeats. "I'm not shelling out good money to bring this place up to required standards just to be dropped in it by your sloppiness!" "Oh -- hat..." she replies casually. "Did you bring one?" he demands. "Oh yes", she answers, disappearing into the kitchen. Giving a satisfied grunt, Alec goes back to his phone call (obviously on hold for the moment) until Liz reappears a second later sporting a cap adorned with a pair of gloved hands, which she proceeds to "clap" by pulling an attached drawstring under her chin. Gleefully, she explains that she can use "an extra pair of hands" to help out. Not amused, Alec orders her back into the kitchen and returns his attention to the phone call. Finally, the person on the other end is talking again and evidently, Alec likes what he is hearing!

Ivy can't stay away. Timidly, she goes to visit Don in his rooming house. Far from happy to see her, he wonders how she knew where to find him. When she reveals it was Frank who told her, Don jumps to the conclusion that she must have browbeaten him into it. Defensively, Ivy denies the charge - it was Frank who came to see her! "Well, he'd no right", mumbles Don. "He was worried about you, luv", Ivy pleads softly. Steeling himself to repel her yet again, Don answers that there's no need, he can look after himself. Finally, after inquiries about how he manages, and a concessionary admission from Ivy, "Well, at least it's comfortable", she gets up to leave. Amazingly, she asks if he'd like her to visit again. Don answers her with a look that says, "Are you out of your mind?" but controls himself enough to say simply that there would be "no point".

Again called to the phone, Alec now speaks with the executor of Vicky's parents' will, her Uncle Nick. Surprised to hear from him, Alec is even more surprised when he hears the reason for his call - that Vicky has requested an increase in her monthly allowance! As he hangs up the receiver, he lets loose with an indignant, "Madam!"

At the stables, meanwhile, Vicky is introducing Steve to not only her horse but her horsey friends, Sarah and Anthony Slade, a brother and sister who work at the place. (Their parents own it, actually.) Vicky goes off for a ride on Saracen, leaving Anthony to show Steve around. Having no interest in horses and nothing at all in common with Anthony, Steve looks bored out of his mind and can't wait for Vicky to come back.

Bet is back from her shopping (adding to Alec's tensions!) and he wastes no time giving her an earful about Vicky's antics. Bet can't understand why a girl Vicky's age has trouble managing with £50 a month but Alec figures she needs more now that she's home with Steve sponging off her! Come to that, he's sure it was Steve who put her up to asking for the raise in the first place!

When Harry returns to the pub for his beloved Boris, Bet refrains from telling him of the spider's fate. Instead, she smilingly directs him to the back to see Alec, mentioning with a big grin that Boris has kept the pub talking for days. As Harry goes into the parlour, Alec's just pouring himself a shot, no doubt to defray some of the day's stress. Harry jovially comments about "the perks of the trade" but Alec tells him abruptly that, as he told the VAT man, if drinking his private stock, which *doesn't* go through the books, can be called "a perk", then yes, this is a "perk"!

Undeterred, Harry smiles and asks about Boris. "I hear he's the talking point of the whole pub!" he says brightly. Through clenched smile, Alec agrees, "He was, all right!" Reaching around to the side of the sofa, he produces the aquarium containing Boris' corpse. "Dead!?" gasps the spider's owner. "As a doornail", answers Alec. "Now take him away!" Harry protests about the worth of his spider, £500, but Alec is having none of it. "First of all - you told me that it was a 'Mexican Mouse Eating' spider - which it isn't... Because 'Mexican Mouse Eating' spiders don't exist!" According to an expert at the Natural History Museum, (Alec's earlier phone conversation) Boris sounds suspiciously like *another* spider, one who eats mice only as a last resort but can kill a camel with a bite on the lip! Thrusting the glass box into Harry's hands, he orders him out with the warning that he should "Stop trying to peddle arachnids of dubious pedigree to respectable republicans"! Trembling with fear, Harry rushes out with Boris, brushing by Bet as he goes. Standing just within the doorway, she has witnessed the last bit of the drama and now lets Alec know, as only Bet can, how impressed she is when the "tiger" in him comes out!

At the stables, Anthony is still rambling on about horses, oblivious to Steve's apathy. When he offers Steve a chance to ride and Steve declines, saying wheels are more his "thing", Anthony happily offers to show him his GTI. In the nick of time, Vicky returns from her ride and Steve is spared further boredom at the hands of the irritatingly affable young man.

After visiting Don, Ivy goes to the cafÈ to see Gail. "He's my whole life...", she laments, "...him and the kids". Softly, Gail assures her she still has the kids. Still, Ivy confesses, she is hoping Don will have a change of heart and come home. With a sigh, Gail tells her that she must accept Don's decision since there's nothing she can do to change it. Ivy says she feels like a failure, in her own esteem, in the eyes of her friends, and in God's eyes. Gail exhorts her to stop blaming herself and count her blessings - she has people in her life who care about her!

At tea-time, Rita gently shakes Ted from his slumber. He can't believe he's slept the entire afternoon away but is markedly better now that he's free of pain. Rita is most relieved to hear the new pills are working. But Ted expresses his reservations, it's not as simple as that - he's worried about becoming dependant on the new pills. She doesn't understand the problem as long as they counter the pain but as he explains, now that he's begun to take the more powerful drugs, there's no turning back. It's the beginning of the end...

In the pub, Alec frets over Vicky being so long gone. Bet tries to reassure him - "You know what she's like when she's with her horse." But it isn't the horse that worries Alec - it's "that young man" she's with!

Liz delivers beers to Andy and Paula at their table, along with the return of Andy's "hand" hat. She giggles when he tries it on but warns that it won't amuse Alec to be reminded of it, he's been in a foul mood all day. "Grand-daughter troubles", ventures Liz in a sly whisper. Andy reckons it may have more to do with someone they both know and love, his brother Steve.

In a last feeble attempt to avoid resorting to the dating agency, Curly asks Raquel to go to the Bettabuy's dinner dance with him. She says it really isn't her "thing" anymore but he tries to talk her into it, mentioning all the most impressive features. Her attention (not eager at best) shifts sharply from Curly when Wayne walks into the pub. Oblivious to the intrusion, Curly goes on for a moment before realising he's lost his audience.

Much later than expected, Vicky finally arrives home, exhausted and anxious to take a bath. She can't understand Alec's crossness with her - it's not *that* late. After demanding to know where she has been all day, (they went to Rivington Pike after the stables) he tackles her about getting in touch with Uncle Nick. How dare she go behind their backs? Vicky sees the matter in an entirely different light, however. "You're only my legal guardian, not my financial advisor! And I didn't go 'behind your back' - I had every right to approach Uncle Nick!" she answers defiantly, before marching upstairs. "Did you - did you hear that?!" Alec sputters in disbelief. "I'll go after her and have a word", Bet offers. Alec stops her, "No.... No, we'll leave it for now - and hope Nick can see what's going on when he comes around on Monday!"

Anita Bélanger

Sarah Slade: CHRIS MUNBY Anthony Slade: DAMIEN WALKER Harry Norton: KEITH CLIFFORD Wayne Farrell: RAY POLHILL
Written by KEN BLAKESON Directed by ALAN MARSDEN

Wednesday (3419, Monday 3 August 1992)

Alec and Bet both stare bemusedly as Raquel dunks her tea bag in a mug of hot water. Bet wonders if the tea they make isn't good enough for her, and Raquel laughs while announcing that she's drinking herbal tea, for her "energy level." Wayne told her all about it. After Raquel leaves the room, Bet muses that it would be nice to get through just one day without hearing about "the world according to Wayne." Vicky, who has been quietly sipping her own tea, petulently tells both Alec and Bet that she happens to like Raquel, so Alec changes the subject by reminding Vicky that her Uncle Nick will be by to see her later in the day.

At Ivy's, Vera is doing her best to coax her friend to return to work at Bettabuys, but Ivy declines for another day on the grounds that she can't bear having to tell lies (or the truth) to people who ask about Don. As Vera heads off to work, Gail arrives with Sarah Louise and Nicky. The kids immediately begin asking about their grand-dad, wondering when they can visit him, so Ivy finally admits to them that grand-dad wants to live on his own for a while because they haven't been "getting on." To Gail's horror, Nicky wonders if this means that grand-dad no longer loves Ivy, prompting Sarah Louise to exclaim that she loves her grandmother. This obviously has a beneficial effect on Ivy, who hugs the children and announces that as long as her grand-kiddies love her, nothing else matters.

Meanwhile, Andy MacDonald is filling his back-pack with all the items he thinks will be necessary for his trip to Europe, and it looks so overstuffed that Jim wonders if he can actually lift it. Andy wiggles his arms into the shoulder straps and struggles to his feet, but only a small push from Jim causes him to lose his balance and fall backward onto the sofa, proof positive to Liz that he needs to lighten the load.

Vera stops Curly at Bettabuys to remind him that Ivy is having difficulty dealing with Don's amputation, and suggests that he "pop by" to see her at dinner time. Curly has other plans, though, and informs her that he has to attend a business lunch, sitting in for Mr. Holdsworth.

Ted and Rita discuss the possibility of taking a stroll in the park over their morning tea. Ted's hand fails him again, tea spills everywhere, and he explodes at Rita that he's "not an invalid" when she offers to clean up the mess. In seconds he apologizes for his outburst and admits that his nerves are frayed not knowing what's coming next.

Curly hides behind a magazine in the reception area of the dating service, and when the agency employee (Charmian Grey) calls for a "Mr. Gerald Murray," it takes Curly a moment to realize that she's looking for him.

Vicky's Uncle Nick arrives at the Rover's Return, and Alec apologetically explains that Vicky is not there, but should be along shortly. As he offers a sherry to Nick, Alec explains that he had absolutely no idea that Vicky was going to get in touch with him.

Back at the dating agency, Curly exaggerates his position in a "mega store," and claims that he's a manager. In response to questions about his likes and dislikes, Curly is enthusiastic about his interest in car rallies (since when?), and also responds dishonestly that he lives alone in his own home. His head bobs affirmatively when he's asked if an "intelligent, attractive woman" would best describe what he's seeking. Charmian explains that certain women like to know the income bracket of the man they'll be dating, and hazards that Curly might be making... fourteen? sixteen? (thousand pounds per annum). Curly quickly corrects her by asserting that he's in the "twenty...ish" range. Charmian assures him that she'll run his questionnaire through the computer and see what she can come up with, and asks how soon he'd like a date. She's taken aback when Curly replies that he'd like to meet someone the following night! With a raised eyebrow, Charmian says that she'll do what she can, but a "perfect match," isn't usually found overnight. However, she'll give his application priority status, much to Curly's relief.

Uncle Nick is still waiting for Vicky to arrive, and Alec is becoming quite agitated as a consequence, offering yet another drink. When Vicky finally makes an appearance, she arrives with Steve in tow. Alec immediately insists that Steve leave, but Vicky doesn't understand why he can't stay. Nick explains that they are about to discuss what he regards as private family business, and before Vicky gets a chance to argue the point, Steve voluntarily leaves. Down to business, Nick asks Vicky how much she wants by way of a monthly increase, to which the response is, "£50"

Don's boss, Frank, drops by the rooming house to look in on his friend and to leave a few groceries he's picked up for him. In conversation, Don explains that he's determined not to go back home, sarcastically noting that if he needs a dose of sympathy, he'll give Ivy a call.

With the meeting over, Vicky tells Steve how himiliated she was by the whole thing. She asked for £50, but "all" she got was twenty. Understandably, Steve hasn't much sympathy, characterizing her as the "poor little rich girl," but as far as Vicky is concerned, the money is hers, left to her by her parents, and she should be able to do with it whatever she wants. Steve meanwhile tells her that he's not keen on going back to the stables where he felt like a fish out of water amongst all her posh friends.

Curly is at home, fiddling with various ties in anticipation of his arranged date. When Angie finds him clowning in front of the mirror and wonders what's up, Curly puts her off with vague comments. The phone rings, and Curly grabs it before the second ring, but it's only the building society. Angie offers to treat him to a pint at the Rover's, but he claims that he fancies an evening at home.

While Andy repacks his clothing for the trip, Steve suddenly announces to his parents that he's decided not to go to Ireland with them. Liz is immediately opposed to the notion of leaving him alone, but she can't argue when Steve makes her realize how unfair her hesitancy is, given that Andy is about to take off to Europe on a long trek with his girlfriend.

Don struggles with his crutches to get to his feet when he hears a knock at the door, and he's delighted to find that it's Gail, who has brought him some chocolate cake. He confesses that he was afraid that it might be Ivy, and Gail is quick to reassure him that Ivy did not send her. She came because she's concerned, and because the kids want to see him and his friends miss him. "Don't punish yourself by shutting yourself off," is Gail's advice.

Andy and Paula prepare to leave for the train station. Steve, Liz, and Jim go out onto the sidewalk to bid them farewall, and before they leave, Andy thanks his parents again for the birthday money. Steve, of course, reminds Andy to be sure to buy him a present, and both he and his dad give the usual advice, "if you can't be good, be careful" in unison as the pair walk away.

Curly is moping about his living room, but immediately pretends to be deeply engrossed in work when Angie comes into the room. The phone rings, and before Curly can get to it, Angie answers, telling the caller that they must have the wrong number since there's no Mr. Murray living there. Curly grabs the phone out of her hands and explains to Charmian that that was his niece who was playing a joke on him. Charmian tells him that she's managed to come through on his request, and has arranged a date for him with a Miss Janet Shaw. He's to meet her outside the library at 8:00 PM the following night. Off the phone, Angie demands to know what's going on, but Curly claims that it's "nothing," and that he's changed his mind and would now enjoy a drink at the Rover's.

Don calls Julie and tells her that he left Ivy, and that while he has no regrets about that, he does wish that he'd managed to do it with both feet. He wonders if he can see her again, but also explains that he's hardly in a position to pick her up. When Julie agrees to come to the rooming house to see him, Don breaks into a huge smile.

At the Rover's Return, Angie continues to pump Curly for information about his mysterious phone call, but to no avail. At the bar, Jim asks for a pint and tells Liz to have one herself. She wonders if he shouldn't be saving his pennies, given that they're about to take a vacation in Ireland, and Jim laughs that it was Steve's decision (not to go) that saved them both over £200.

At a table nearby, Mavis and Rita discuss Ted's health. Rita explains that Ted keeps worrying about being a burden to her, but in truth, she doesn't find the situation to be nearly as stressful as Ted seems to think it is. In any event, she confides that she's very grateful that she's now able to talk to Mavis about everything.

Behind the bar, Alec rants to Bet about Vicky ("the little madam") and her request for a higher allowance. He's still appalled that she actually wanted Steve to stay while they discussed such highly personal family matters. Bet does her best to calm him, and seeing Steve leaning on the bar, Alec comments that life should get better -- he's so pleased to know that Steve will soon be out of his hair and off to Ireland. Unaware of why Alec is smiling benignly in his direction, Steve smiles back.

Heather Morlan

Nicholas Wilding: MARK LINDLEY Charmian Grey: MAGGIE FOX Paula Maxwell: JUDY BROOKE Frank Haskins: BRYN ELLIS
Written by MARTIN ALLEN Directed by ALAN MARSDEN

Thursday (3420, Wednesday 5 August 1992)

Vera comes to pick up Ivy for her first day back to work since Don's accident. Ivy's got cold feet but Vera pushes. She reminds Ivy that Don has made his choice and now she's got to get on with her own life. She doesn't have to tell anyone at work anything as it's none of their business anyway. Ivy gives in and thanks Vera for being such a good friend. Things go so well at work that Vera tries to get Ivy to agree to take the next stepa drink in the Rovers tonight but Ivy is dead set against it, definitely not ready to face her neighbours.

Vicky spends the morning glaring at Alec and attempting to make a private call from the house phone (Why not just go out and use a call box?) Bet lets Vicky know that she supports her friendship with Steve regardless of what Alec feels. Alec just spends the day buzzing around the bar like an angry wasp. Vicky's call was successful. She and Steve have a Coke in the café and she tells him she's going to sell Saracen to Sarah who helps out at the stables. She's getting £1000 and won't tell Alec until the deal is done and the money is safe in her own bank account. Steve gawps at the thought of so much brass!

Liz and Jim are leaving for Ireland. Liz had to work the first shift but manages time for last minute details. Steve is adamant about not going with them, giving his parents what for, for what he sees as treating him like a child. Liz isn't bothered by leaving him at home, it's what he might get up to seeing as Vicky is only 15. Steve moans and gripes about nobody trusting him and he wasn't born yesterday. Nonetheless, Liz reads Steve the morality play before the taxi arrives. The door shuts and Steve hollers YES in the jubilation of a fortnight's freedom!

Julie comes to visit Don at the rooming house. Don's very glad to see her but Julie still feels guilty. Don is quick to dispose of that notion. He's got nobody to blame but himself. He is just glad to be alive though after the accident he wasn't. He should have had the guts to leave Ivy when he first met Julie but agrees they shouldn't be more than just friends at the moment because he would never know if she was with him out of guilt and pity. She quietly agrees, but promises she will keep in touch with him. He's satisfied with that.

Ted is visibly affected, physically and emotionally by the progression of his condition. The new pills have him doped and draggy but what's worse, he sees himself dragging Rita down too. Rita hushes his fears with her oft-repeated speech about knowing what she was getting into so he's not to blame himself. She manages to cheer him a bit but sobs quietly once she gets behind the kitchen door.

Curly had a restless night and is running late in the morning. Angie is dead curious about the phone call he took last night for "Gerald Murray" but he's keeping his secrets. He mentions he might be going out tonight but makes out that it's just with an old mate. But that night, after a batch, Angie suspiciously notes the presence of aftershave and though he denies there's a woman involve, he isn't fooling Angie! He doesn't get all tarted up for an old mate from the bins but he's running late again and dashes out. When next we see Curly, he's leaning on a lamp post, hiding behind the Financial Times, peering out every few minutes to survey the crowds coming and going from the library for possible "Jane Shaw's".

Ivy is holding fast. No matter what Vera says to convince her to go to the Rovers, she's not having any of it. She's had enough for one day. There's a knock on the door. Vera's only enlisted Gail to come along for moral support! Gail takes a somewhat different tact, After repeating some of the same things Vera has been saying all along, she throws down the gauntlet. If Ivy allows Don to dictate how she's going to live the rest of her life, then she's not half the woman Gail thought her to be. Rising to the challenge, Ivy's eyes flash, the defeat and fear gone for once. In the pub, Ivy loses a bit of confidence but Bet (who's been told that very afternoon by Audrey) takes the bull by the horns. She acknowledges Don's defection and welcomes Ivy warmly. Surrounded by friends, Ivy relaxes and when the prospect of another drink after the current round is done comes up, she smiles at her supportive friends and says why not, she's got nothing to go home for anyway! (Uh oh! Remember that slippery slope?)

Diane Johnston

Julie Dewhirst SU ELLIOTT Kimberly Taylor (return) SUZANNE HALL
Written by BARRY HILL Directed by ALAN MARSDEN

Friday (3421, Friday 7 August 1992)

Having got over their initial shock, "Janet Shaw" and "Gerald Murray" (aka Kimberley and Curly) have adjourned to a quiet lounge for a drink. Kim, relieved that her date turned out to be Curly instead of "some stranger", says she was so nervous waiting that she was almost ready to give up. Curly says he was just as tense but now, having established that they are happy to have hooked up again, they relax a bit and talk about old times. Kimberley is still working at a supermarket and still living at home with Mummy and Daddy. Curly asks about Adrian "GOBsthorpe", only to be told by Kimberley that Adrian (Gosthorpe) is "ancient history". After a few drinks, Kimberley says she'd better get off home or "Mummy will be wondering what's happened to me". With the admission that each has told people they are "meeting an old friend", the two arrange another date for Monday evening.

Derek and Mavis wander into the pub and Mavis, spotting Vera and Angie comes over to ask if Ivy has been in. She's gratified to hear that they managed to get her out for a while and she's gone over to Gail's now. "Just so she knows she's still among friends", Mavis smiles. Angie and Vera assure her that Ivy has got the message. Moving on to the subject of Curly, Mavis mentions that she saw him going off "looking smart" this evening. Angie says she honestly doesn't know who he was meeting and Vera chimes in with, "I doubt he knew himself!"

Alec isn't pleased to hear from Bet that Vicky and Steve are out together this evening. He figures they are taking full advantage of Steve's parents being away to have the McDonald house to themselves. Bet loses patience with him, "Will you change the record? Give Vicky *some* credit!"

Turns out Vicky and Steve are nowhere near the McDonald house. They've been at the cinema and are now leaving early so Vicky won't get an earful from her granddad. Steve thinks if they're doing nothing wrong she shouldn't have to worry but as she explains, she is only trying to make her own life easier.

At the bar, Des gets short shrift from Raquel when he tries to warn her about the fickle natures of professional footballers. She coolly informs him that she and Wayne have a "great relationship", thank you very much. Des backs off, saying he was only trying to be a friend but Raquel can't resist adding, "At least *his* wife won't be turning up out of the blue!

Alec is now convinced that Steve and Vicky are at Steve's house, he's just rung and there was no answer! "Well, then - they're not there!" reasons Bet. "Or they are there and they're not answering!" he steams.

Leisurely saying their goodnights, Vicky asks about seeing him tomorrow. He can't, he says - he's working at the cafÈ all day. She doesn't see why he should go on working since when she sells Saracen there'll be lots of spending money. But as Steve explains, he doesn't want to go on "mooching" off her for all their dates. (Wow - is this the same Steve McDonald we've grown to hate and despise?) "Does Alec know about Saracen yet?" he inquires. "Are you kidding? He'd go spare!" answers Vicky.

Once in the house, Vicky is confronted by Alec. He doesn't believe that she's been anywhere near a cinema and accuses her outright of being in Steve's house all evening. She tries to ignore the accusation at first but when challenged, produces the ticket stubs and tosses them at him before angrily retreating upstairs. Alec knows he's blown it. With a sinking heart, he wonders how he'll make it up this time...

Curly returns home from his date with Kimberley to face a quizzical Angie. To her queries, he answers only that he had a good night but remains tight-lipped about the details.

Next morning, Sally finds herself rushing around to get over to Gail's on time. When she does arrive, the panic is forgotten as Gail asks her for an incidental favour or two. She'd like her to return Nicky's past-due library books (on the way to Sarah Lou's 'story time') and to see to the kids' laundry at the top of the stairs. Sally agrees but seems a bit miffed at the liberty.

Rushing off to work, Curly admits the truth of the matter to Angie. He sought the aid of a computer dating agency but what he told her turned out to be true - he did end up meeting an old friend, his old flame in fact. Angie thinks Vera would be delighted to hear it since she reckoned Curly and Kimberley were "made for each other", but Curly cautions her *not* to tell Vera!

Vera isn't one to be kept guessing long though. On the pretense of a broken freezer, she comes up to Curly's office to fish for details of his evening out. He denies going to the dating agency but grudgingly tells her that he met Kimberley. Predictably, Vera is chuffed at the news. Curly smiles at the irony as she observes, "Not even a computer could come up with a match like that!"

Alec offers Vicky his version of an apology for the night before - he might have been hasty, he overreacted... She isn't too receptive, however. He's always "overreacting" and she's fed up. She wants to be with Steve because he treats her as an adult instead of looking down on her. Unless Alec can see things from her point of view, she doesn't want to discuss the matter further.

In sympathy with Vicky, Bet tries to convince Alec that he needs to let go and trust her more. "She isn't a child, she's a young woman", argues Bet. "And she needs us now more than she ever will". Alec says he is only trying to protect her but Bet warns that if he goes on the way he has been, he'll only succeed in driving a wedge between them!

In an attempt to control the situation from another angle, Alec goes around to the cafÈ to have a word with Steve. Unsurprisingly, Steve doesn't respond well at hearing that Alec doesn't trust him and further, he doesn't want Vicky wasting her "breeding" and education by mixing with the likes of him!

When Vicky comes into the cafÈ to see Steve later, he reports Alec's visit to her. Out of consideration for her, he offers to end their relationship. Angered, she reaffirms to Steve that she wants to go right on seeing him - *if* that is what he wants. Of course it is! They make another date for this evening...

Meanwhile, Alec takes a phone call that seems to be a welcome surprise. As he recounts to Bet, Sunliners would like to see him in Southampton on Monday. Not at all pleased, Bet says she hopes he told them where to get off. Erm, not exactly.... Seems our hero has agreed to go, "just to hear them out", you understand. "What the flamin' 'ell d'ya think they want?" she demands. "Look sunshine, you take another cruise and don't expect me to be waiting when you come back!" Alec stammers that he wouldn't dream of going again without her - he made it quite clear that any future plans would have to include Bet. Unconvinced, she warns him that she won't be left holding the fort again while he goes "swaning off into the sunset with a Pina Colada in one hand a Caribbean crumpet in the other!" Chastened, Alec assures her that he'll only go and hear them out, but won't make any decisions without her. To further placate her, he offers, "Anyway, it will get me off Vicky's back for a couple days - what have we got to lose?"

Anita Bélanger

Kimberley Taylor: SUZANNE HALL
Written by BARRY HILL Directed by NICHOLAS FERGUSON


Originally transmitted: 10, 12, 14, 17 & 19 August 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 22 - Friday 26 November 1999
Episode Numbers: 3422 - 3426

Monday (3422, Monday 10 August 1992)

Bet is furious with Alec. He pretends he's just going to Southampton to "meet" and has no idea what they want to talk to him about. Fool!!! Bet knows darn well the cruise line wants Alec back to organize the entertainment for another cruise and she's dead set against it. He's a fool if he's going all that way and not knowing why, a fool! Alec get frustrated with all the mithering and name calling and is looking forward to a nice meal, a nice hotel, and leaves to find his socks. A Fool's Paradise, mutters Bet.

Curly's having a bad hair day and can't decide on a 'do for his date with Kimberly. Angie arranges his gel-cemented hair into something a bit more natural looking than the slicked back skull cap he had and promises to keep out of the way tonight if he wants to bring Kim back after the pictures.

Sally heads over to Gail's early to make up for being late the other day. Sally seems to be reading more into everything Gail does and thinks these days and can hardly wait to get her child minding papers so she can stay in her own house. But she's so early that Gail isn't even dressed yet and is annoyed that Sally's come early. The kids are out of sorts and not fed their breakfast yet and Gail seems to resent Sally's intrusion but lets Sally dress David and see to breakfast while she gets dressed.

Bet lets Vicky have a try at pulling a pint before opening. Alec disapproves, made worse by Vicky pouring the pint down the sink. What a waste of ale! Alec is quite obviously taking his and Bet's fight out on the world but Bet just lets it roll of her shoulders and urges him out the door to catch the train promising to keep an eye on Vicky for him. After he leaves, Bet admits to Victoria that the thought of him going on another cruise infuriates her but not to worry, that's between her and Alec. She reminds Vicky that although Alec might come across as an old fogey, there really are some valid concerns and makes Vicky promise to be sensible. Vicky asks for and gets permission to go to Steve's tonight with a curfew of 10 o'clock.

In the caf, Steve flirts with some girls from school and Gail gives him Hell for skiving. He is given more stick when Vicky comes in to offer to cook him a spaghetti meal at his house tonight so she gets out of the caf sharpish but not before noticing Steve's giggling gaggle of girlfriends.

In the corner shop, Audrey chats to Phyllis about Alfie's breakfast habits when Vicky comes in to shop for cooking supplies. When they hear she's making dinner for a fella, Phyllis advises candles to add romance!

Sally has her hands full. She hasn't given Nicky and Sarah Lou dinner because she's still feeding the babies. Nicky comes in from the garden with his football, whingeing about dinner and is scolded by Sally for bouncing the ball indoors. He persists, however, upsetting Sarah by wrecking her puzzle with the ball and then he knocks over one of his mother's lamps, breaking it beyond all repair. When Gail comes home after work, Nicky gets another scolding but Nicky cheekily blames Sally. She didn't give them any dinner because she was sat in front of the telly all day! Gail doesn't believe it and sends him on his way Sally whines about having her hands full with 4 kids but Gail just glances at her impatiently, remarking that she has to cope with three of them most of the time. That shuts Sally up for the time being but as she remarks to Kevin later, Sally fears that Gail really did believe it and it looks to me like this arrangement is taking a bit of a toll on their friendship.

There's a cute little scene where Raquel tells Mavis she wishes she were a steady sort like Mavis. Mavis postulates that steadiness probably comes with maturity leaving the door open for a thoughtless remark about age by Raquel. Raquel proceeds to complain about having to work tonight, meaning she can't spend time with Wayne and witters on about Wayne this and that. She turns the conversation to names and isn't quite sure she likes Wayne's name because it seems to rhyme with too much from what she was saying. "Eh, Wayne" and "Is it going to rain, Wayne". Mavis muses that she never was too fond of the name "Mavis" to which Raquel hastily agrees "Oh No!!" but before Mavis can react too much, Derek emerges from the Kabin, all spiffed up for a job interview. He manages to get "brain", "rain" and "train" all in one or two sentences before he leaves. Raquel ponders what he's said for a minute and comments "Oh no, ah don't like the name Wayne" in that soft fluttery way she has.

Steve and Vicky have a nice meal and a few sarcastic remarks at Alec's expense. Vicky sparks a bit of jealousy over the girls in the caf, warning Steve to stay away from one in particular. Steve has bought wine and seems to be attempting to ply her with it (for what end I wonder ???) but she does show sense and doesn't imbibe very much of it. Later she gets up from a settee snog session to go home. Steve tries to persuade her to stay but she's anxious to keep Bet on her side as an ally so he reluctantly walks her back.

The pub is quiet and Raquel, resentful at having to work instead of seeing Wayne, sulkily makes sure everyone knows she'd rather be elsewhere. Des is in on his own until Angie arrives. He brightens up at the thought of a companion for the evening but she's only dropped in briefly and his face falls when a group of her friends arrive to take her to a party.

Sally vents to Kevin about the kids and her worries about Gail's attitude until he churlishly tells her he's tired of hearing it, give him a break will yer? She (rightly) goes off on him for it, after all she has to listen to him moan endlessly about Baldwin so he can just give HER a break! She flounces off angrily.

Curly and Kim have seen a movie. They don't say what they've seen but going by what was on the theatre marquee, it's one of the following: Batman Returns, Sleepwalkers, The Player, The Hand That Rocks The Cradle or the Exorcist. I'm guessing it wasn't the Exorcist! LOL! Curly bores for England with the semantics of film making and telling Kim that every film he's ever seen pales in comparison with what Walt Disney did with Bambi! She wants to go home but he offers her coffee and tells her that if they are making another go of it, and he thinks they are, then they ought to make this a fresh start. She is impressed that he seems to have so much more confidence which he puts down to experience.

The pubs is busier now. Audrey chats to Bet about Phyllis's attempts to get Vicky into a romantic mode for her date. Derek and Mavis come in and Raquel asks about Derek's interview. Tanked it, apparently, but Derek is puzzled as to why Mavis hastily corrects the impression that he was going for another job. She explains. It won't do to have people wondering why he's looking for a job when he's supposed to be running the Kabin with her. People aren't to know that they anticipate Rita's return after Ted's passing on. Nobody must know about that. Ah. Right. Ken is having a drink with Phyllis and Des and the conversation picks up after some sort of remark made to Ken about getting himself another wife or some such because Ken is not thinking along those lines at all. Now he's his own boss, he can come and go when he wants and go to bed when he wants"With who you want to" adds Des with a smirk. Ken rolls his eyes and remarks that after 3 wives, that sort of thing loses it's appeal (Oh right! THIS from "Studs" Barlow! !!!)

Back at Number 7, Curly and Kim are sharing some (red) wine. Kim admires what Curly has done with the decorating of the house, really imaginative. Curly looks a tad uncomfortable but continues to let her assume he was the decorator. He asks her to the Bettabuys dance and tells her it will be formal. She wants him to help her pick something out to wear as he's obviously developed such good taste. Before he can get out another word, Angie stumbles in, halfway to being legless for a change of clothes as she's had booze spilled. She teases the couple about the red wine and runs upstairs to change. Who's that!? Curly admits it's Angie and that she lives there, hurriedly adding, in the spare room of course! Kimberly's tight face doesn't give the impression that she's best pleased at this tidbit of news!!!

Diane Johnston

Susie Johnson CLAIRE QUIGLEY Debbie Norris TARA SIMPSON
Written by STEPHEN MALLATRATT Directed by NICHOLAS FERGUSON

Tuesday (3423, Wednesday 12 August 1992)

We join the street later than usual today; the Rovers is already open for the lunchtime crowd. Bet and Liz briefly discuss the possibility of Alec being offered another cruise and Bet makes it clear that as far as she's concerned, it's not on!

Angie and Kev bump into each other at the bar and Angie asks if Kev remembers an old girlfriend of Curly's, a Kimberley. Kev remembers her, all right, describing her as a "near miss"! Well, she's back, Angie tells Kevin and a curious Raquel who's brought their drinks, so if Raquel wants to "stake her claim" she'd better get in there! Raquel haughtily informs Angie she doesn't want to "stake her claim", thank you very much!

Curly is meeting Kimberley for lunch at an outdoor terrace. She is sullen and obviously still angry about Angie and Curly sharing living quarters. She can't stop thinking about it, she says, in spite of Curly's reassurances. "You must see each other - not fully clothed," she says. Curly retorts that Kimberley of all people should know he's capable of self-restraint! Would he have gone to a dating agency if he'd had anything more than a lodger in the next room, he asks. Finally, Kimberley says she believes him although - she's not sure "mummy" will!

Kev goes to Gail's house where the babysitting Sally has made him a sandwich. Sally, scared of more mishaps with Gail's things, makes Kev sit on newspapers due to his greasy overalls, which he grumbles about ("Is it allright to touch the plate?" he whinges). He also gripes about Sally watching Nicky - who she's not paid for - along with the other children. Sally says she doesn't mind. She also sharply warns him not to spill crumbs on the carpet. Fine, says Kevin - "Tomorrow I'll stand in t'street and you can pass it through the window!" (Either that or you could go to your own @#$%* house just across the street from your garage and make your own %@*# sandwich now that you're both working outside the home, you selfish twit. Oops, did I type that out loud?)

Back at the Rovers, the lunchtime crowd has left except for Ken and Phyllis, the latter bemoaning her single status to the former. She puts Ken's own single status down to habit more than anything. Alec storms in, back from Southampton in a right state, and wants to know why time hasn't been called for early closing and why there are so many dirty glasses stacked up. "He gets like this when he travels since they banned smoking on British Rail," Bet explains calmly to Raquel. She escorts Alec to the living quarters and is extremely solicitous as she sits him down, soothingly offers him a drink, and then asks if they have offered him another cruise. "Think very hard before you answer," she says, still in the same soothing voice but with just a hint of an edge. "No," Alec answers with some chagrin.

At the Cafe, Gail moans to Audrey about her workload. Martin's not helping around the house as much, and Alma's never here anymore. Audrey puts Alma's absences down to being a newlywed and wanting to spend time with her new husband, and that'll soon wear off - it'll be very unnatural if it doesn't! she laughs. Vickie, who has come by to see Steve after warmly greeting her Granddad at the Rovers, offers to help him wash up so he'll be finished faster. Gail accepts her offer, and Audrey also assures Gail she is there to help if Gail needs her.

Bet and Raquel have finished cleaning those dirty glasses and Raquel is off to see Wayne. Bet goes through to see Alec, who is calmer now. He tells her the company were very pleased with the last cruise but no, they didn't offer him a cruise. Instead, they offered him a job replacing the retiring fellow in charge of ALL entertainment for every ship all year round! Bet is gobsmacked. Could Alec do it on top of the Rovers? she asks. No, he says - but - *they* could do it if they gave up the Rovers! Just think, Alec goes on, obviously extolling only the virtues of the idea - no more VAT, Betty's Hotpots, Jack's bad back, cleaning glasses, emptying ashtrays... Bet looks stunned and Alec says he knows it's a shock, it was for him too, but he feels it would be a better life for all of them, him, her and Vickie. He knows she needs time and asks her to think about it. Bet asks if Alec can't do it from here and keep the pub? No, Alec says, he's thought of that. He couldn't do it properly and even if he could they wouldn't agree. They'd be together, though, he reiterates, doing it together. (He emphasized this with an appreciation of Bet's importance to him that we rarely hear Alec express.) He leaves Bet to mull it over with one last comment - think of Vickie, he says. It would give them a chance to give her back some of what she's lost.

Angie goes home to find Curly trying on a new suit. He tells her that Kimberley is coming by tonight and they're going to the Bettabuys Ball. He admits that Kimberley thinks it's a bit weird, Angie and he living together. Curly says he just wants them to "act normal". Angie smiles when she twigs that Kimberley doesn't believe Curly's protestations that they're just roommates. "No jokes about '3 in a bed' then?" winds up Angie, before promising teasingly to be on her best behavior.

Steve has walked Vickie back to the Rovers. He wants to see her again that evening but she says no (no doubt knowing that would be politically unwise with her Granddad just back), promising instead to spend his whole day off with him tomorrow. She goes into the living area where she bumps into Alec who immediately brings up Southampton. They might be moving down there, he says. He asks her to think about it. Then, just as suddenly, he walks on as Bet appears, leaving a baffled Vickie to ask "Is he serious?" Bet explains that they've offered Alec a job and he's all worked up about it, but she's seen this sort of thing before. He gets himself all wound up about something and by the end of the week it's all over. "So we won't be moving then?" asks Vickie anxiously. "Not an inch," assures Bet.

At the Platts', Audreh and Gail fuss over the kiddies who are getting ready for bed. Gail notices the dirty newspaper and Nicky says that Kevin dirtied it. Audrey is aghast that Sally let "a garage mechanic" into Gail's living room in his dirty clothes. Gail laughs at Audrey's outrage and points out that he isn't just "a garage mechanic", he's her husband! Audrey spies a spot on the sofa and races over to it, declaring triumphantly that it's an oil spot and it'll never come out. "'e wasn't sittin' there," points out Nicky. When she gets Nicky to tell her where the errant mechanic *was* sitting (a wing chair), Audrey runs over to *it* and immediately finds an oil spot *there*! Gail just pooh-poohs her mother, saying it's not oil, it's everyday old dirt if anything. "If I were you, I'd have that professionally cleaned and send Sally the bill!" declares Audrey. "Yes," says Gail "- and find someone else to babysit me kids!"

Kimberley arrives at Curly's. He goes upstairs to dress, leaving Angie trying (sincerely) to make pleasant conversation. Kimberley is being typically sullen and childish. Angie finally says bluntly but gently that she doesn't fancy Curly, and he's going out with Kimberley, so what's the problem? "Who said there was a problem?" sniffs Kimberley petulantly. "Nobody," sighs Angie. As Curly and Kimberley leave to go to the Rovers for a drink before the dance, Angie puts a hand to her forehead in frustration.

In a corner behind the bar at the Rover's, Alec is still going on about the prospect of Southampton to Bet. He especially reiterates how good it would be for Vickie to be away from the industrial grime and pub life to the fresh air and "an Officer and a Gentleman around every corner". Bet allows that there's been enough upheaval in Vickie's young life, and if Alec asked Vickie where she wants to live, it wouldn't be Southampton. Alec dismisses this, asking what does one know at Vickie's age? Where home is, Bet responds, and where she's happy. Bet would've thought that's important at any age.

At a table, Vera clucks over Kimberley and Curly back together again. In the course of her cooing, she asks where the pair met up again. "At a Club," says Curly quickly, after a rapid exchange of embarrassed glances with Kimberley. "Oh! Clubbin', now, are ya?" asks Vera. This won't do for Mama's girl Kimberly, who corrects no, not really a club. A bowling alley. Yes, concurs Curly, a bowling alley. In... Manchester, says one. Blackpool, says the other almost simultaneously. Well, Kevin laughs nervously, first Blackpool, then Manchester. Oh, says Vera uncertainly, watching this bizarre response with just a hint of nervousness!

At the bar, Des, Mavis and Derek are standing together for an evening drink. Derek inquires about Des' current marital status. Are he and Steph legally separated now? Only, he's been through it and he knows it can be hard. Des says he doesn't mind discussing it. No, they're not legally separated; he hasn't done anything about it yet. "My wife divorced me," Derek offers conversationally, "well, I was seeing Mavis at the time." "DEREK! I'm sure Des isn't interested!" says a mortified Mave. Des morosely allows that's what will happen to him when Steph finds someone. His mood isn't lifted when he pays Raquel a compliment on how nice she looks which she interprets as sarcasm, going so far as to ask Alec to have a word with Des.

Audrey comes into the Rovers and, seeing Alec behind the bar, compliments him on what a good little worker Vickie is, helping Steve wash up at the Cafe lunchtime. A furious Alec goes back to find Vickie and demand to know what she was doing washing up in that Caff! Helping Steve, replies Vickie, who is clearly up for this fight if Alec is. "Why?" demands Alec. "They weren't paying you!" "I don't want money, I've got money! I've got a thousand pou..." Vickie's voice trails off as she realizes she's said too much. "You what?" asks Alec. "Nothing," says Vickie. "Never mind nothing!" demands Alec. "I sold Saracen!" blurts Vickie defiantly. Alec asks Bet, who has appeared between them, if she knew anything about this and before she even finishes shaking her head 'no' with resigned dismay, Vickie continues that she didn't tell them because they would try to stop her, the way they try to stop her doing everything! She storms upstairs. A highly agitated Alec says that's it - "that young lady is out of our control!" Ignoring Bet's "No!" of protest at this allegation, he continues that the three of them are finished here. "We're moving to Southampton!"

ronniecat

Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by NICHOLAS FERGUSON

Wednesday (3424, Friday 14 August 1992)

Ivy and Vera arrive at the Cafe, and Ivy asks for a word with Gail. She wants either Gail or Martin to go and see Don. The insurance agent has called with some questions about Don's accident, but more than that, Ivy wants to find out if Don's been looking after himself. Gail thinks that Ivy should go herself because in her opinion, Ivy owes it to Don to keep on trying to settle things. As far as Gail is concerned, Don is depressed and needs a reason to come home. Ivy feels that Don hates her, but before Gail can respond, Vera returns to the table with tea and begins mithering on about her uncle who used to go to the zoo everyday to feed the sea lions. Like me, Ivy was unable to see any parallel to her own life in Vera's story, so she hastily leaves the cafe.

Steve and Vicky choose some magazines from the selection at the Kabin, and when Steve offers to pay for them, Mavis witters that it isn't common to see young men paying for such things. Vicky quickly informs Mavis that she bought Steve's t-shirt, a rather flashy number with bold printing across the back and sleeves, and asymmetric designs of various bright colours. Mavis eyes it skeptically before commenting that it's "very flambouyant." Just then, Alec bursts into the shop pretending that he needs to purchase matches -- until Vicky accuses him of spying on her and Steve since there's "at least" 200 boxes under the counter at the Rover's Return. Alec changes his tack and claims that he's there to tell Vicky that her lunch is ready, but she and Steve have already planned to eat at the cafe. After Steve and Vicky depart, a somewhat embarrassed Alec comments that Vicky is at an "awkward age," prompting Mavis to comment that Steve and Vicky are becoming "quite a couple." She would never have dreamed of allowing Derek to buy her clothes at that age, and as Alec's eyes widen, she informs him that Vicky bought the t-shirt that Steve is wearing. With this new information, an angry Alec storms out of the Kabin, leaving Mavis to ponder if she's "done it again."

Des leans on the bar at the Rover's Return and complains to Bet about drinking alone. Phyllis sidles up to Des, exclaiming to Bet that he's "just like the last sandwich on the plate -- you just have to get your mouth around it." An embarrassed Des orders a drink for Phyllis, and as Bet goes off to prepare it, Alec rushes in, demanding that she step into the back for "a word." Meanwhile Raquel teases Angie and Curly about Kimberley's attitude toward their living arrangements and supposes that Curly will soon be "kicking out" Angie. When Curly asks why he would want to do that, Raquel comments that "mommy and daddy" aren't going to be best pleased that their daughter is seeing a man who's sharing his house with another woman. As she moves off to serve other patrons, Angie points out that the last time Curly dated Kimberley, she surrendered her body to another man. As far as she's concerned, what Kimberley is looking for is someone who's "strong and masterful" -- someone who will stand up to her parents.

In their living room, Alec fusses and fumes to Bet about Vicky buying Steve a t-shirt -- "it's extortion, it's taking advantage of a minor, it's gold-digging" in his opinion. Bet doesn't understand why he's going on about it because it's just a t-shirt. She knows perfectly well that no teenaged male is about to allow his girlfriend to pay for everything. Her arguments fall on deaf ears, though, as Alec declares that he's had it with young Steve MacDonald. "We're selling-up and moving out," he declares, referring to his new job opportunity in Southampton.

At the Cafe, Gail and Alma stare at Steve and Vicky, who have apparently been "nursing" their coffees for the past hour. Vicky decides that it's time to go home, but Steve would rather spend more time with her. She teases that he might "get bored with her," but the real reason for leaving is that she doesn't want to antagonize Alec. When asked if he can see her that evening, Vicky declines on the grounds that it's better to try to keep the peace on the homefront. Steve interprets Vicky's attitude as a sign that she doesn't trust him, and he leaves the cafe in a huff.

In Bettabuy's staff lounge, Vera asks Curly if he's patched things up with Kimberley, who is "insecure" as far as she's concerned. It's her opinion that Kimberley doesn't feel comfortable with the fact that Curly is sharing his home with Angie, and asks him how he'd feel if Kimberley was sharing a flat with Adrian Gosthorpe. As Curly ponders this scenario, Vera advises him to move out Angie and move in Kimberley.

Vicky arrives back at the Rover's Return, and sarcastically asks Alec if he managed to find some matches. He asks her about the t-shirt, and Vicky becomes impatient, informing him that she just bought it for Steve because he happened to like it. Trying very hard to sway Vicky to his own point of view, Alec tells her that he's proud of her and how well she's managed to "fit in" in her new surroundings. Not seeing where he's going, Vicky confesses that it wasn't all that hard. Then Alec slyly informs her that Southampton, at least the area they would move to, would suit her better. Not taken in for an instance, Vicky accuses him of being willing to sell-up and move to Southampton for the sole purpose of splitting up the relationship she has with Steve. Shocked by the lengths her grandfather will go to to interfere in her life, Vicky announces that no one has ever treated her the way he does -- as though she's a "killer bimbo." No matter how hard she tries to please him, he always expects the worst -- so since she's always expected to be up to the worst, she might as well fulfill his expectations. As she heads for the door, Alec demands to know where she's going. "To Steve's" is her response, "to suck face." Seconds after her departure, an exasperated Alec asks Bet to help make Vicky "see sense," but Bet refuses, reminding him that there will be much worse lads than Steve MacDonald in Southampton. "It has sailors!"

Steve, meanwhile, is surprised to find Vicky at his door. As he lets her in, she announces that she hates Alec and from now on, she's going to enjoy herself.

Kimberley goes looking for Curly at home, but Angie informs her that he isn't there. As Angie continues working on a project, Kimberley peers over her shoulder, wondering if she's sketching an evening gown, commenting at the same time that she'll be accompanying Curly to the Bettabuy's Ball. The usual tension exists between the two women, as Kimberley notes that dress designers seem to only create clothing for freaks -- women who are "all straight up and down," and six feet tall. Angie sarcastically informs her that she (Angie) is six feet tall, it's just that Kimberley has never seen her standing up. Missing the point completely, Kimberley moves on to criticizing the living room's decor, and then wonders how many bedrooms there are in the house. "Two," Angie answers, "one for me, and one for Curly." As Angie rolls her eyes, Kimberley opines that that will suit her nicely, since one of the rooms could easily be converted to a nursery, given that Curly is "crazy" about her.

Ivy visits Don and tells him that the insurance agent has called, wanting to know if another car was involved in the accident, and whether mechanical failure in the vehicle contributed to the accident. As she bemoans the delaying tactics of the insurance company, Don abruptly tells her to "shut up." He doesn't want to talk about the accident, although he does want her to stay to talk about other things.

Curly arrives home to find that Kimberley is waiting for him. When asked, she confesses that "mommy" still doesn't know about their relationship, so Curly informs her that for their next date, he will pick her up at home so that her parents will see him and understand that they are together again.

Back at Don's room Ivy is bringing him up-to-date on the family: Gail is finding it hard having Martin in school full-time, and Nicky is as mischievous as ever. She tells Don that he should come back to the street to learn these things for himself -- his friends and family miss him. Don dismisses her pleas by telling her that he's not a bit interested, so Ivy draws a parallel. She's always fearful of visiting him, because she knows he doesn't want to see her, but he's afraid to go back to Coronation Street, even though there are people there who really want to see him. She feels that he's just depressed, and that seeing old friends would do him a world of good. "It's your presence that depresses me," he cruelly informs her. Trying hard not to take this too personally, Ivy responds that he's just taking his anger out on her. She only came to tell him about the insurance problems because she thought she was doing him a favour. Don cuts to the chase by informing her that the insurance company is fishing for more details because what they really want to know is whether or not he was trying to "top himself" when he crashed the car. Well, truth is, he WAS trying to top himself, but he botched the job and lost his leg into the bargain -- which is why he'll never go back to her and never let her do that sort of thing to him again. A stunned Ivy can only stare at him, her mouth open in shock at this hurtful revelation.

Heather Morlan

Kimberley Taylor: SUZANNE HALL
Written by FRANK COTTRELL BOYCE Directed by CHARLES LAUDER

Thursday (3425, Monday 17 August 1992)

Curly irons his dress shirt in anticipation for tonight's ball. Angie takes great delight in teasing him about Kimberly and her parents' opinion of him. Curly tells Angie that he and Kimberly are adults and the Taylor's approval would be welcome but not entirely necessary. Angie suggests wearing a sequined bullet proof vest all the same.

Alec extols the virtues of living down South. Vicky recognizes it for what it is, an attempt at persuasive propaganda. Bet wants him to give it a rest. Alec tries to convince Bet it's a classier place, after all, she's always going on about class. In a nod to the past Bet corrects him, "No, Tiger, you're the one always going on about class. Anybody that's ever worked for Annie Walker knows there's only two types of folk in this world, them that have it and them that don't. She'd be the first in the queue to tell you, I don't!" Vicky and Bet agree there are benefits but they like it where they are.

Des spends the day at the mercy of people's pity and obvious remarks and situations that drive home the point that he's single in a doubles world. Mavis starts things off by suggesting Des take a holiday but he's not keen to go on his own. Curly drops into the Kabin for new shoelaces and leaves with Des's offer of a lend of his good cuff links, his last Christmas gift from Stephanie, he says lugubriously. Raquel arrives as well and Des flirts with her, regretting he cannot take Cinders to the ball. She calls him Buttons and smugly says her boyfriend wouldn't approve.

IN the café, Alma gets teased by Gail and Audrey for becoming as business like as her new husband. Audrey remembers writing school essays about wanting to be something glamorous like a ballerina, or a film star or air hostess. She never thought she'd be a grocer's wife. Come to that, Gail muses, she might have wrote about being a nurse but never a nurse's wife! Steve and Vicky are nursing a coffee at a table and discussing Alec's plans to move to Southampton.

In t'pub, Des has a few sarky remarks at the expense of Raquel and her footballer boyfriend but she fires back right on target. They're just as good as bookies' clerks only with better bodies! Zinnnnggg! Observing the crash, Mavis expresses pity for Des (for a change), he being single while all his friends are paired off. She thinks Des still misses Steph. They cluck over the pity of marriages breaking up, mentioning Don and Ivy in the course of conversation.

This is the avenue we need to take us to the next scene. Don is sitting on a bench in behind the B&B, a plaid blanket draped cleverly over his lap to disguise the fact that the actor really has both legs intact. Ivy arrives to discuss what he told her last week. He does apologize for speaking out of turn. Ivy needs to know if he meant what he said or was he just lasting out. He's not really sure if he meant to top himself or not as he wasn't really thinking logically at the time of the crash. Ivy starts on the religious angle of committing suicide, it being a sin and turning away from God and all that. He quickly gets irritated with her, spitting out that they don't all have her strength and beliefs. But his shot falls short when she criticizes him for mocking her beliefs. He's astonished when she tells him she has thought of ending it all at one time or another, after Bert died, Brian was murdered and when he left her but she turned to God instead and that was a damn sight harder to keep on going than it would have been to just take the easy way out. Ivy 1 Don 0. And has it brought her happiness, he says nastily. She throws her next card on the table Has what he's done brought him happiness? Ivy 2 Don 0. She suggests he talk to Father O'Rourke. Why, he snipes, so he can get told off some more? No, Ivy says calmly, but maybe he can give Don some peace of mind since she can't seem to anymore. Game, Set and Match to Ivy for this round I think, judging from Don's face.

Curly is suited up, slicked back and almost ready to go. Angie re-polishes his shoes. There's a brief moment when they allude to their more intimate past and Curly hints that she could have been a full time girlfriend had she wanted but she repeats that it's best this way and he agrees. Des arrives with the cufflinks and ruffles Curly's carefully gelled hair. Curly leaves with a final tie straightening. Des tries to get Angie to go for a drink but she's got things to do and turns him down. Poor Des's face falls again.

Curly arrives to pick up Kimberly who's dressed in a frilly nearly off the shoulder taffeta gown. Her hair is up and kiss-curled and the bright pink-red cerise does look lovely with her colouring, I must say. She nervously informs Curly that her parents have been told about him. He confidently braces himself for the inevitable and they enter the sitting room. The Taylors are there, waiting, Mummy on the settee and Daddy standing by, pipe in teeth, both looking distinctly unimpressed with the turn of events. Mrs. T. coolly accepts Curly's gift of ginger chocolate and when Kim goes for a last primp, Mummy makes snotty remarks about Curly's not quite being qualified to attend an executive ball in his own right. Kim's attempts to win them over have no effect until they find out that Curly is a home owner and the ice quickly melts. Sherry and advice on shrubbery is offered and there are smiles all around.

Steve makes fancy drinks for he and Vicky and they chat on the settee. She agrees not to call him the very un-macho "sweet" if he agrees not to call her "kid". She's not a kid after all! They start to kiss but when he begins to unzip her blouse, she backs off and he, the teenage Toerag, gives her a load of typical cobblers about blowing hot and cold, acting like an adult one moment and a kid the next. Vicky holds her ground however, and doesn't take well to being called a child when she's only not doing what she doesn't want to do (sensibly!) and she storms off after crying that she hates him!

Back at the pub she comes in crying and encounters Alec in the back hall. He thinks her tears are because she doesn't want to move and he tenderly allows that she can have her friends to visit anytime, even Steve if she likes. Well she doesn't like and runs up the stairs, not ever wanting to see Steve again!

After dinner, Kim decides another trip to the ladies' is in order, after all she's had three glasses of wine! While she is gone, Curly lights a cigar. Brendan Scott slithers up and compliments Curly on his noticeable up and coming status with the company, hinting strongly that the right wife on his arm would take him far up the executive ladder. That's why Reg never went very far, due to his disrespect of the institution.

In the pub, in front of many of the neighbours, Alec breaks the news that he's accepted a job on the cruise lines and now that Vicky's supporting him, he's sure Bet will be on board soon enough. Bet drives a dirty look home and spits, "I wouldn't count on it!" Raquel smugly tells Phyllis that she thinks Des wants her back. Phyllis insults her by wondering why he would want that so Raquel gets stroppy with her, barely lowering her voice and calling our lovely Phyllis a silly old bat. She carries her bad mood over to Angie, remarking on Angie's single status and soon to be homelessness.

At the ball, Curly becomes quite romantic with a kiss and, Brendan's words echoing in his ears, tells Kimberly he has lots of plans for his future and they all include her. He wants her in his life and he loves herWill she marry him?

Diane Johnston

Return of: Brenda Taylor MARLENE SIDAWAY Randolf Taylor JOHN JARDINE Brendan Scott MILTON JOHNS
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by CHARLES LAUDER

Friday (3426, Wednesday 19 August 1992)

The morning after Bettabuy's formal dinner, Angie asks Curly how it all went. He brags about having made an impression on Brendan Scott and speculates that he's bound for higher things within the company. Angie gently teases him about "sucking up" but Curly deflects the jibe, mentioning that he also seems to have won over Mummy and Daddy Taylor. Tentatively, he tells her the news of his proposing to Kimberly. But Angie, still in a joking mood, asks whether he was sober at the time. "I take that amiss", Curly informs her. Awkwardly, Angie recovers herself enough to meekly apologise and offer her congratulations.

Brendan Scott, when he hears the news later that day in the store, also offers his congratulations, telling Curly that he's managed to fill "the only conspicuous blank" on his CV... Not that *that* is the reason he proposed, of course! Still, he is gratified to hear that he's done his career "no harm"....

In the Kabin, Phyllis is looking over a bridal magazine. When Des enters, she jokes about being an autumn bride, which cues Des to suggest that they set the wedding for a week today. Phyllis can't help mentioning that she thinks Raquel is still keen on him, a suggestion he very much doubts. But in an effort to be lighthearted, he ventures that she should go across and invite Raquel to their wedding. Having made his purchase, he's off again, leaving Phyllis with the caution that she isn't to leave him standing at the altar - at least not until she's moved in and redecorated the place "like the others". Mavis is quick to award Phyllis "first prize for tact" after this encounter, causing poor Phyllis to wish she'd kept quiet!

In Bettabuys, Vera helpfully intervenes with Curly to ask for time off on Ivy's behalf. Thanking her to butt out, Ivy manages to arrange to leave an hour early herself, but when Vera fishes for the reason, Ivy remains tight-lipped and mysterious.

She didn't ask to leave early to go and see Don again, as Vera supposed. After work, in the privacy of her home, Ivy reveals her problem to Father O'Rourke - how Don refuses to come home to her, that he "hates" her, and worst of all, that he tried to kill himself. As the priest gropes around to get a fuller picture of the situation, he asks whether there is anyone else involved. Ivy admits there is, but hastens to say that Don isn't with her. What it boils down to is that he'd rather be in a bedsit than with her - come to that, he'd rather be dead than with her! "Will he burn in hell?" Ivy wants to know. The priest challenges her to look within herself to see if she is asking because she wants him to confirm this for her. He also suggests that she search her own soul to find out whether the seeds of "hate" that she attributes to Don, come from within herself.

Vicky comes to the cafe to see Steve but finds him too busy with Susie Johnson to pay her any notice. Unfortunately for Vicky, she arrives just as Steve and Susie pour over a magazine quiz, one designed to determine whether they are suited by asking their favourite colour. (For the unititiated, purple, Steve's favourite colour, means he is: "conceited, passionate, loyal, moody, ambitious, secretive and good with money"; Susie's pick, gold, means she is: "ostentatious, fickle, dreamy, sensuous and cannot keep a secret".) Having come to the realisation she is to be ignored, Vicky complains to Steve. He neglects to answer her but doesn't object when Susie takes it upon herself to tell Vicky that she isn't wanted. The two exchange insults for a moment but Vicky is no match for the older and wiser Susie, quick witted and eager as she is to show Vicky up for a child. Angry and humiliated, she leaves the cafe in distress.

Meanwhile, Gail has been increasingly troubled about the situation with Don and Ivy. Although Alma thinks she should keep well out of it, Gail says she has a vested interest in their reconciliation. Ivy's inclination to interfere where Nicky is concerned is troublesome at the best of times, but if Ivy thinks Nick is "all she's got", life could become unbearable! To that end, Gail pays Don a visit after work. Although happy to see her, Don doesn't leave her much hope that he'll be returning to Ivy. It soon becomes apparent that Don has less than a passing regard for his wife, telling Gail that she "has a way of doing something good that results in making others feel bad". Gail says she isn't here to plead Ivy's case and they move on to talking about the children. Don says he would love to see them but he feels it might be awkward with Ivy accross the road. Again, he makes reference to his indifference for her, saying that like his lost foot, he is "no longer attached", an analogy Gail finds "a bit hard".

Back at the pub, Alec wonders where Vicky could be. He's given short shrift by Bet, who gets in a jab about "people not being allowed to think for themselves around here". Ignoring the remark, he goes back to serving but overhearing Audreh, Mavis and Emily talking about "forbidden fruit", he takes a keen interest in their conversation. When it becomes evident they are talking about Steve, his ears perk up even more and when he hears that young Steve is doing (according to Audreh) "what comes naturally while his parents are away", that he's sneaked a girl in, Alec doesn't stick around to hear any more.

Down the alley like a shot, he parks himself under the McDonalds' back window and starts yelling for Steve to show himself. After a minute, Steve appears at the window but when Alec demands that he bring "her" down immediately, he tells him to get lost. Never one to surrender, Alec takes himself round to the front of the house, where Steve reluctantly opens the door. He denies that Vicky is with him and insists he and his friend are only eating pizza, but Alec will not believe him and refuses to go away without his granddaughter. From the bottom of the stairs he calls up for her and is shocked to see not Vicky, but Susie Johnson descend the stairs. "Who are you..." she asks saucily, "...the sex police?" (Having already seen the episode following this one, it's noteworthy that Alec's recollection of the incident is at variance with what actually occurred. He charges that Steve and the young lady were "half naked" when he relates the incident to Vicky but this constitutes a gross exaggeration. They were both fully clothed.)

Later on, Alec admits to Bet that he may have been "wrong" about Vicky being with Steve but he's only validated his conviction that he was "right" about Steve! Bet is sick of listening to him rant by this point - she can't make him see that he is only showing himself up by going around shouting the odds. He says he doesn't care, which leads Bet to conjecture that *that* is the whole problem - he doesn't care what anyone else wants or thinks! She complains that he's told all and sundry about the move to Southampton when she was under the impression it was still under discussion between them. Confused to find the conversation has gone from Steve to Southampton, Alec fails to see her point that it's all about the way he carries on - not taking others' feelings into account!

Dining with the Taylors, Curly is treated to an account of how Mummy Taylor's trifle came into existence... It all started several years ago, in an effort to use up the sherry that was left over from one Christmas to the next. "It doesn't keep forever you know, for all they say it does!" says Daddy Taylor with a knowing wink. Apparently he did try to return it once after realising it had gone off, only to be told that he mustn't have secured the cap properly. "But I knew - in my own mind - that that top was screwed down tight on the Boxing day previous", he recounts in earnest. Mummy Taylor now picks up the story, "So I said, 'In future, Daddy, if there's the odd bit left, I'll make it into a trifle!'" With an air of triumph, Daddy concludes, "And this plan has been carried into operation, if I may say so, with *great success*!" As she rises to clear, Mummy Taylor demures sweetly that she hopes "Norman" *likes* trifle? "Oh yes, Mrs. Taylor, very much!" answers Curly. (Well what else *can* he say now? LOL)

In the kitchen, Mummy and Daddy discuss Kimberley's engagement. Daddy feels they might be rushing things just a little but Mummy points out that Kimberley "isn't getting any younger". Besides, when "our Marjorie's Dawn" was getting wed, it was *he* who commented that it was "about time she got her skates on". That was just light-hearted jest, he pleads. Anyway, unlike Dawn, "our Kimberley can afford to pick and choose". Firmly, Mummy points out that if Kimberley wants to marry, "she'd better hurry up before the shops shut!"

As she sees him out to his car, Curly remarks to Kim on how well things seem to have gone with her parents. Kimberley muses, "Mummy has always said, when I bring home Mr. Right, he'll be accepted as such". Working Curly's domestic situation into the conversation, Kimberley adds that her mother would "hit the roof" if she knew he was "living with another woman"! With a will reminiscent of Mummy herself, Kim proceeds to persuade Curly... "Anyway, she's going to have to move out sooner or later - and it's only fair to tell her now - isn't it, Norman?"

Anita Belanger

Brendan Scott: MILTON JOHNS Father O'Rourke: PETER CAFFREY Randolph Taylor: JOHN JARDINE Brenda Taylor: MARLENE SIDAWAY Susie Johnson: CLAIRE QUIGLEY
Written by JULIAN ROACH Directed by CHARLES LAUDER


Originally transmitted: 21, 24, 26 & 28 August 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 29 November - Thursday 2 December 1999
Episode Numbers: 3427 - 3430

Monday (3427, Friday 21 August 1992)

Morning at the Platt's. The kids play in the living room while Martin and Gail discuss Ivy's intent to get Don to a priest to avoid taking any blame for the situation herself. Martin brings out a wad of money, 30 quid of which is earmarked for textbooks. Sally arrives for the day. Sara sticks her little oar in by mentioning the grease stain Audrey found. Gail wasn't going to mention it but Sally is embarrassed and feels badly. *Obvious plot device alert!* Martin gives Sally a sympathetic glance while he puts the cash in a kitchen drawer, which she sees him do.

Bet is sitting in the living room at the table, smoking and listening to Alec smarm on the phone to the Sun Globe people (I wonder when it becomes Sunliners? Or is Sunliners a subsidiary of SunGlobe? I think we should be told! ) She shakes her head with a look of apprehension on her face as she hears him tell the bloke that his wife is over the moon at the prospect of the move. Anyway, after he's off the phone, it turns out that they are being offered an all expense paid first class trip to Southampton to look the place over. Tomorrow. (Here's a bit of confusion. My dates say this aired on a Monday but this trip is later referred to as "going tomorrow" and also "going Monday". Possibly a writer gaffe, tomorrow being Tuesday in most of the world.) Bet frowns at the prospect and at Alec's seeming rush to push this through. Bet reluctantly agrees to go to Southampton for a look see but she wants to wait to see how Vicky feels about going with them before he makes definite plans. Alec figures she'll want to be well away once he tell s her he found Steve with another girl. Bet concedes that Vicky should know but Alec ought to use a bit of tact and tell her gently. Of course he will, protests Alec, she's his granddaughter after all, would he gloat? (of course he would!)

They tell Vicky about the trip at dinnertime and ask if she'd like to go with them. She isn't really keen but isn't surly about it. She just feels that since she'll be at school most of the year, it doesn't really matter as long as Bet and Alec are fine with it. Because she seems unenthusiastic and unresponsive to Alec's attempts to make a better life for his little family, he gets surly instead and snaps at her, gloating that he caught Steve half undressed with another girl in the middle of the day. (Of course he doesn't say that Steve protested his innocence over slices of pizza because we know he didn't believe Steve!) Vicky is upset and Alec calls her a fool for not realizing that Steve is only out for what he can get and she runs out. Very good, Alec!

In the Kabin, Mavis speculates that Bet and Alec must be getting excited to move. Raquel muses that Alec is keen but Bet runs hot and cold. Mavis explains that women are more reluctant to move house, being conditioned to the domestic life from prehistoric times. Ted pops in for a paper. Derek and Mavis are solicitous over his health and well being though he appears to be hale and hearty today, fawning over him to the point where, after he leaves, Raquel even clues in and asks had Ted not been well? Mavis and Derek quickly change the subject.

Ted goes back up stairs, bright and cheerful and tells Rita he's heading for his house to do some time in the garden. She offers to go with him but he realizes it's just because she wants to watch over him and he goes alone, assuring her he'll be fine. But he's very late coming back. Rita phones the house but there's no answer and she's near a panic attack by the time he does come home, whistling. Seems he just lost track of time and can't hear the phone in the garden. She urges him to remember to ring her and he apologizes for worrying her.

Curly seems to have gone to see Kimberly where she works as they are in his car out the back of the store. Curly seems concerned that the Assistant Manager of that branch might see him and think he's spying on a rival so he scooches down in the seat while he talks to Kim who's practicing on ereating a banana. Kim is playing inquisitor, wondering when Angie will be moving out. Curly hasn't told her yet and promises to do it soon. Well, Mummy's not happy about the situation (and I'm not entirely clear whether Mummy even knows about Angie for sure, as you will see in a scene later on, again I think it was just uneven writing).

Alf and Derek chat generally about working on holidays in the pub. Raquel hopes whoever takes over the pub lets her stay on living there. Derek points out the pilgrims set sail in the Mayflower from Southampton, not Plymouth as Alf wonders, Southampton was the first phase apparently, according to the history of England according to Derek "Cliff Claven" Wilton. (Anyone know if it's true? I, like most, believed the Mayflower went from Plymouth alone, not as a stopover from Southampton).

Alec tells Bet that Raquel agreed to keep an eye on Vicky while they're away but Bet gives him an earful, much to his astonishment, over his treatment of Vicky earlier, adding in for effect the fact that he always goes and sets things up behind her back when they were supposed to be in this marriage together. Now they'll have to come back in the same day because they can't leave Vicky here on her own overnight (See? Uneven writing! Raquel lives there too! Is she that untrustworthy that they can't leave the pair of them alone in the residence overnight?)

And who's this navigating a car like it was an ocean liner around the corner? Why it's Mummy Taylor who seems to be swooping down on Curly who's dropped in at home for a late lunch. She "just happens to be passing" and decided to drop in for a cup of tea. Curly allows it but manages to dash into the house and scoop up some of Angie's underwear and laundry into a basket before she gets inside. While he's in the kitchen seeing to the kettle, she snoops around the dcor having a good look but before she can root through the laundry basket, Curly snaps up an armload of clothes. Although he says it's just his ironing, there's a black lacy bra hanging out of the bundle and draped over his arm and Mummy hits the roof! He won't say it's Angie's and lies and says it's Kimberly's which I don't know if it's the lesser of two evils after all when she exclaims with disapproval, "Not only does my daughter take off her underwear in your house, but other women do the same?!" All her interrogation making it sound very much as if she has no idea Curly has a female roommate. Poor Curly stammers and stutters and tries to explain but it's no use. Mummy decides his and Kimberly's engagement is off. Curly gives Angie hell later on for leaving her unmentionables lying around. She protests, it's her home too but he loses his temper. Not for long! And he tells her she's got to sling her hook.

Martin discovers there's 5 quid missing from the money in the kitchen drawer. Gail has no idea where it is and neither do the kids. Martin howls that someone that's been in this house took that fiver (and it looked to me as if Nicky was avoiding eye contact but that could just be because he's a lousy actor!) Any guesses who's going to get the blame?

Alec find Vicky in the back yard and he apologizes for how he spoke to her earlier. He insists that what he said about Steve is true. Vicky is determined to find Steve and ask him about it because she's learned never to believe a word Alec says, which cuts Alec deeply. (I thought she wasn't speaking to Steve!? Last time we saw them together she was angry at him ah puppy love!)

Bet glumly observes her little kingdom but puts a smile on her face when she serves a punter just the same. The Sullivans and the Wiltons are in a booth chatting about the nature of men and Derek and Ted agree that all the greats of history are men Shakespeare, Plato, and such (and why is that I wonder???? Can you say oppression??) Anyway, Rita and Mavis are quick to point out a few other "great" men of historyHitler, Attilla the Hun and Herod. Meanwhile, Bet is telling Alf and Audrey about their trip to Southampton tomorrow to give the place the once over. Happen when Alec sees how much money she can spend in smart shops he'll change his mind. So we see that she's still not keen.

Kimberly is under attack by her mother. Mummy is spitting about leopards not changing their spots while Kimberly defends her Curly. Now we're back to Mummy knowing about Angie it seems with Kimberly defending the situation, explaining that Angie is just disorganized and untidy Oh, Mummy's voice is dripping with sarcasm and triumphant judgement, "So she's a slapper!!!" (LOL!!) Daddy just sits by, sucking on his pipe. There is a knock at the door and Daddy opens it, finding a determined Curly on his doorstep. He lets him in apprehensively. Curly gets right to the point since Mummy doesn't see *how* he has the nerve to show his face!!! He cuts her off mid-sentence, insisting there's nothing he's done wrong. He explains that there is nothing going on between he and Angie and stands up to her admirably, barely letting Mummy get a word in. When it comes to friendships between men and women, he raises his finger firmly in her direction, She believes the worst! This is 1992, Men and women can share a house without sharing beds! He insists that he's not letting her misunderstanding break up him and Kimberly. He loves her and is going to marry her, with or without their consent, he adds emphatically! You are looking at your future son-in-law! He finishes with flourish. Mummy's chin is hanging down to the oxminster rug and her gob is gaping in astonishment. Daddy wholeheartedly approves and jumps up and suggests they put the kettle on, it looks like Norman's staying, he says with a wide grin on his face!

Out behind the closed pub in the dark, Bet stands smoking. Alec finds her there alone and joins her. Bet is wondering what is going to happen to her while Alec is away on trips, not looking forward to spending nights alone with the telly. He hastily reassures her that he won't be away that much and he's doing all this to give her a better life. They'll have more money and freedom not tied down to a pub and she'll make new friends. She expresses her fear that this could break them apart but he insists it will only bring them closer together! She finally smiles at him, seemingly on the road to acceptance and they go inside to get to bed, a long day ahead of them.

Diane Johnston

Written by MARTIN ALLAN Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Tuesday (3428, Monday 24 August 1992)

Bet and Alec leave the Rovers very early; they're off to Southampton to have a look around and consider moving permanently. Bet still thinks they should take Vickie, but Alec reminds her that Vickie made it clear she couldn't care less due to her upset over Steve MacDonald. Alec makes insincere sympathetic noises about her anger and disbelief at Alec's report that Steve had another girl in his house, but he is clearly pleased underneath that there is trouble and strife between the lovebirds. Vickie watches the pair prepare to leave from her bedroom window in the Rovers.

Rita is doing a few hours at the shop to help Mavis out. Ted tells her that he is going to his house to garden.

Martin comes by the Websters' to announce he's got the day off from classes and he will be watching the kids. After he leaves, Sally complains vociferously to Kevin of the short notice. How would they like it if she just showed up one morning with no notice and said she was taking a day off and couldn't watch the kids! (She's got a point!) She's also angry about a joke Martin made, telling Kev not to come round the Platt's today for his dinner (as he usually does when Sal's babysitting there) 'cause he won't get any! Kev is sure he didn't really mean anything by it. Sally goes on to say she *knows* they don't want Kevin over there when she's sitting, she just *knows* it. (Her narrowed eyes and dramatic tone of voice would be more suited to a declaration that she *knows* the Platt's are Satan worshippers who are sacrificing virgins in a hidden room in the basement, she just *knows* it!)

Over at the Satan wor- er, Platt's house, Gail is questioning Nicky about a troublesome missing £5. Perhaps, she suggests, he just _borrowed_ it? She says she won't be cross if he did, she just wants to know what happened. Nick insists he didn't. Gail sends the kids off to play, then grills Martin about that money. Could he have lost it? Spent it? He's easy come, easy go, she says accusingly! Martin testily insists he knows the money has disappeared out of the drawer.

Vickie has gone around to Steve's and is knocking insistently at the door when Audrey comes by and has to stick her nose in. She tries to find out why Vickie didn't go along to Southampton (Vickie replies that she doesn't care either way, the move is for Alec and Bet) and then embarrasses Vickie by pointedly remarking that Steve doesn't seem to be home, does he?

At the pub, all the talk among the lunchtime crowd is whether Bet and Alec will really go through with their move.

Rita calls Ted's but there is no answer. Mavis points out that he won't be able to hear the phone in the garden. She knows Rita worries, Mavis says, but there's no point worrying about things you can't alter. Rita replies that she just wants to be with him as much as possible while she can.

Martin brings Sara Lou over to the Websters' as Sally, Kev and Rursie eat their lunch - it seems old Martin just isn't as much fun as Sally. She agrees to watch Sara for the rest of the afternoon. "See? I have got me uses!" she declares triumphantly to Kevin after Martin leaves.

Vickie's search for Steve now takes her to the Cafe. She's successful this time and tells him that Alec has been saying "terrible things" about him, that Alec went round and Steve had a girl in his bedroom. Steve shares Vickie's outrage, but it quickly becomes obvious that it isn't about the falsehood of the charges, but just that Alec had the nerve to go round to Steve's and interrupt them. "His problem is, he thought it was you!" says Steve cruelly. "So it is true," Vickie says. You can almost hear her heart break for the very first time as Steve confirms blithely that it is. He shows no remorse whatsoever, saying she made it clear she wasn't interested. Vickie rushes out of the Cafe in tears.

Rita calls Ted's again from the back of the Kabin but still gets no response. In the front, Audrey and Mavis are gossiping about Bet and Alec and what they'll do when Rita comes through. She ensures that Mavis doesn't need her and then goes to Ted's house to look for him.

Martin comes to the Cafe to see Gail, who's now doubly annoyed at him for accusing Nicky of taking his fiver and dropping Sara Louise with Sally when he's supposed to be caring for her. Martin says it was Sara Lou's choice and then snaps that if he'd wanted a lecture, he'd go back to college before leaving in frustration. "Why can't I keep my big mouth shut?" Gail asks Alma. "I'm becoming like Ivy!" Several thousand viewers echo the actions of several million the first time this episode aired and nod in agreement. Gail goes on to say she can't stand being a working mum; if she was at home perhaps she'd know what was going on. And perhaps her daughter would prefer to be with her than the childminder. Gail admits she's jealous; it's stupid and she knows she shouldn't be, but she is.

Rita arrives at Ted's and finds the mail still waiting on the mat inside the front door, suggesting that Ted never made it there.

Raquel enters the living area of the pub where Vickie's watching TV. She sees Vickie's upset and Vickie tells Raquel that Steve was seeing another girl. "So he's chucked you?" asks Raquel. "No - I've chucked him!" declares Vickie (Yay!) Raquel agrees it was the right thing to do - you have to keep your pride, she says, sometimes it's the only thing you've got left. "Hurts, though, doesn't it?" she asks sympathetically. Vickie nods wordlessly in agreement.

Angie answers the front door to find an austere woman standing there. This imposing presence introduces herself as Mrs. Taylor - Kimberley's mother. Angie seems a bit taken aback, and tells her that Curly isn't back from work yet. Actually, it seems that Mrs. Taylor has come to "have a word with" Angie! Angie invites her in. Mrs. Taylor asks if that name Angie just called Norman - "Curly" - is that a pet name? "No," says Angie, "...well, only in the way you'd call a zebra 'Spots'!" Mrs. Taylor looks at her blankly. "Well, he's not 'curly', is he?" asks Angie, going on to explain that "everyone" calls Norman Curly. Kimberley doesn't, says Mrs. Taylor humourlessly. "Everyone but Kimberley," says Angie. "I don't!" says Mummy Taylor. "Everyone but you and Kimberley," says Angie, whose patience is obviously now being tried. Mrs. Taylor finally gets to the point. Kimberley has been "decidedly perturbed" by the situation of Angie living under Norman's roof. "Blimey. I don't think I've been 'perturbed' since I was seven," comments Angie. She explains for the umpteenth time that she and Curly merely share the house. Mrs. Taylor says that Norman already gave them his solemn word on that, but she felt as Kimberley's mother she had to come check it out. If they don't believe Curly, Angie comments, she doubts they'll believe her, so why bother to come around? Oh, but she does believe Norman, sniffs Mrs. Taylor - having met Angie she's quite satisfied that Norman prefers the "refined, ladylike type" - like Kimberley. Offended, Angie replies that she wasn't aware that Kimberley had mobs of men beating down the door with flowers. Kimberley has never wanted for male attention, assures Mrs. Taylor. If that's so, asks Angie, why go shoving money at a dating agency just to get registered on a computer? "I BEG YOUR PARDON?" gasps Mrs. Taylor, and the look on Angie's face betrays that she already knows she's gone too far.

In the Kabin, Nicky looks at a comic book. He wants it, but Martin replies that he has no spare change since that fiver went missing. Nicky leaves angrily, and Martin fills Kev in on the saga of the missing £5 note. As they leave the Kabin, Rita enters and anxiously asks if Ted's been round since she left. When Mavis says no, she says that he's not at the flat, and the morning post was still on the floor at his house.

Bet and Alec park their car across from the Rovers, finally back after their long trip to and from Southampton. Bet says she thought she'd never get home, and she and Alec gently disagree about whether the Rovers is really 'home'. Just a "backstreet pub" is Alec's opinion, "not much to show for a lifetime of work," while Bet says that all the same, it's been home to them. "I shan't miss it, will you?" asks Alec. "Oh yeah. I will. If you want the truth, I'll miss it like mad. More than half me life's involved in that pub," replies Bet sadly. Alec gently tells Bet they've got to move on. "I know," says Bet wistfully.

Sally and Rosie pop round to meet Kevin as he closes up the garage for the day. Kev mentions the teapot-tempest at the Platt's house (the missing £5) and suddenly Sally goes into bloodhound mode, demanding to know exactly what Martin's wording was(Kev understandably can't remember) and sniffing for any whiff of accusation aimed at her or Kevin. Kevin insists that it wasn't like that, that Gail and Martin aren't like that, but Sally insists that one word about that money to her and she'll tell them they can stuff their job! (If that chip on her shoulder gets any bigger she'll fall over sideways.)

Alec greets Vickie in the pub living room. He apologizes to her if he hurt her by his revelation about Steve but assures her again he didn't make it up. Vickie says she knows, she's been to see Steve, and she also didn't mean what she said to Alec about not believing anything he said. Alec then tells Vickie they're leaving for sure - it's official. "Suits me fine," replies his granddaughter. "There's nothing left for me here." Alec looks unaccountably sad to hear this declaration.

Derek enters the Rovers and asks if anyone's seen Ted but no-one has. Bet and Alec appear behind the bar and are greeted by their friends and customers. "No point keeping it a secret," Alec declares to a less certain Bet, and he makes the official announcement that they've decided to leave. Alf, Percy, Emily and Audrey all express how much they'll miss the Gilroys. Bet softly replies that she'll miss them, too. Audrey teases that Alec has finally talked Bet into it. "Bet knows her own mind and knows when she's onto a good thing!" Alec interrupts jovially, but Bet's face is very unsure. Raquel wonders about her job; Alec assures her she'll be fine - attractive young barmaids are always in demand. Alec buys a round for the house. In the midst of all this bustle and excitement, Bet looks uncertain, a bit shell-shocked, and even a bit frightened.

Mavis waits with Rita in the latter's flat for any sign of Ted. Rita picks up the phone again. Is she calling Ted's house again? wonders Mavis. No, says Rita - she's ringing the police. "I want to report a missing person," she says into the phone, her face grim. "It's my husband."

ronniecat

Brenda Taylor: MARLENE SIDAWAY
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Wednesday (3429, Wednesday 26 August 1992)

Early morning, and Rita waits anxiously for news of Ted, berating herself for letting him go off by himself. Mavis tries to console her by speculating that he simply met a friend and lost track of the time, but Rita doesn't agree -- he would have called if that were the case. Rita is convinced that something terrible has happened.

Alec and Bet joke about their hasty trip to Southampton and back. Bet decides that the next time, Southampton should come and visit them. Alec meanwhile pours over his list of potential "artistes" for cruise entertainment.

Unable to take the waiting anymore, Rita decides to go and look for Ted. She's relieved when the downstairs buzzer sounds, but it's only Derek. He tells Rita that he has done a circuit, looking in all the likely places Ted might be found, but to no avail. Rita is about to leave to carry on the search herself when the telephone rings and Mavis informs her that it's the police.

Sally shows up at the Platt's with an axe to grind. She brings up the issue of the missing £5 note and wants them to know that it wasn't her who took the money. Gail and Martin both laugh, since it never even occurred to them that Sally might be the culprit, but instead of accepting this gracefully, Sally blurts out to Gail that just because something goes missing, she shouldn't blame "the servants." Gail can't believe her ears and asks Martin if "paranoia" has been covered yet on his nursing course -- because when it is, she thinks Sally ought to attend!

At a nearby hospital, a police officer explains to Rita that Ted was picked-up by police and suspected of drunk driving since he wasn't making any sense. Unfortunately, another head-on collision nearby had to take priority, and Ted was put in jail until they realized that he was the missing gentleman Rita had called about. At that point he was admitted to hospital. An angry Rita, who told the police that Ted was ill when she reported him missing, vows she'll take action if she finds he's come to any harm. As she walks towards Ted's room, a young nurse tells her that Dr. Chadwick recognized Ted when he was brought in, and reproaches her unnecessarily by telling her that Ted ought not to be left alone. Rita finds Ted resting comfortably in bed on a ward, and upon seeing her, he immediately wonders "who's been a naughty boy, then?" Rita is more concerned about his health, and Ted tells her that he only feels "daft" over the entire situation.

Bet finds Alec sitting at one of the tables in the darkened bar and wonders if he's having second thoughts. Looking about the bar, Bet muses that the Rover's Return is "full of memories," and Alec replies that there's "no future" in memories. Bet reminisces that she lost the bar once, and Alec reminds her that he was the one who helped her get it back again. "You trusted me once," he says, "trust me again." Bet assures him that she does.

Derek and Mavis walk toward the Kabin and prepare to open it now that the situation with Ted has been settled. Derek is angry that Ted went off on his own, and feels that he should have known better in his condition. Mavis reminds him that Rita can't wrap Ted in cotton wool, but Derek insists that he ought to think more of his wife. Just then, Ted and Rita emerge from her car and head for her flat. Mavis calls out, wondering what the hospital had to say, but she only gets a "tara" from Rita. Mavis wonders out loud whether Ted is "very brave or very stupid." "Very selfish," is Derek's conclusion.

Inside Rita's flat, Ted tries desperately to remember how he ended up with the police, but all that comes to him is leaving the flat. Rita meanwhile begins to wonder if she wasn't a bit hard on the young police officer, and feels that she ought to call him to apologize. In a state of obvious confusion, Ted begins talking about the brandy he drank before he left. "The bottle was half-empty," he recalls, but Rita has no idea what he's talking about. He assures her that he just had "the one," reminding her of how he always feels in need of a stiff drink after all his meetings with various clients. Rita looks shocked when he asks her not to let him sleep too long, as he has some new clients to enter into his order book.

Vicky models a new sweater she's just bought for school, and while Bet thinks it's lovely, Alec feels it's a "bit loud." She changes the subject by telling Alec that she knows what he'll be doing in Southampton, but wonders what Bet will do. She remembers how her parents used to argue because her dad was off during the day, meeting important people, but her mom got tired of being stuck at home all the time. As she heads off to her room, the usually suspicious Alec decides that Vicky is trying to put Bet off the move, but Bet points out that it's quite normal for Vicky to feel a little anxious about any sort of change.

Rita prepares a tray of food to take to Ted, but he comes into the kitchen before she has a chance to deliver it. He's suddenly feeling very ambitious, and obviously still confused about what year it is, he enthuses about buying a boat and sailing to many distant ports. When Rita interrupts his reverie and gives him a blunt "no," Ted sulks. She gently reminds him that he's confused -- he's retired now and gave up on the idea of owning a boat after Doris died. Ted looks perplexed, suddenly feels very tired, and goes back to bed.

At the Rover's Return, Phyllis teases Curly about Kimberley and wants to know if he's thrown Angie out yet and moved Kimberley in with him, and an exasperated Curly gives her a flat "no" to both questions. Raquel wonders what Bet will do with herself in Southampton since she's used to pulling pints all day, and Emily is brought into the discussion, since she no longer works. Emily responds that in spite of the fact that her time is her own, she really doesn't know where it goes. Alec meanwhile decides that he has urgent business elsewhere, and leaves without saying where he's going.

Nicky asks Sally if she and his mom are still friends, since he heard them arguing over the missing money. He moans that Martin thinks he took the money, and Sally advises him to simply tell the truth and let Martin think what he likes. At that point, Nicky confides that he didn't "steal" the money -- he simply borrowed it with full intention of paying it back.

Audrey visits Rita and finds her friend in tears, concerned about Ted who is still sleeping. She confides to Audrey that she's afraid to wake him up. She thought that she was prepared to deal with his illness, but is beginning to realize now that she isn't. She doesn't understand what's happening. Ted's confused and thinks he's living in a different time, so keeps going on about boats, holidays, his late wife, and clients he used to work with. Audrey tries to comfort her friend by suggesting that she allow him to get as much sleep as possible -- it will do him a world of good, and he'll probably awake feeling better. "But what if he isn't?" Rita asks, sadly commenting that it will be like living with a stranger. Audrey reassures her that she'll see this situation through because that's the sort of person Rita is, and she reminds her friend that Ted loves her.

Kevin bumps into Sally as she emerges from the corner shop and asks her if she's told Gail yet of Nick's recent revelation. Sally doesn't feel she should tell Gail that Nicky took the money because Nicky confided in her. Kevin thinks that the only reason Nicky told Sally was so that she could intervene on his part and tell his mom for him, but Sally disagrees. In fact, she's so fed up with the whole situation that she's decided to jack it in as a baby minder, and she's going to tell Gail that tomorrow! Talk about a tempest in a tea pot!

Back at the Rover's Return, Percy tells Martin that he saw Don Brennan on the precinct. Raquel asks if Don has moved back with Ivy, and Martin says no, causing Percy to speculate that he soon will, since "there's no place like home." Vicky tells Raquel that Bet's wearing a hole in the carpet, pacing the floor and waiting for Alec to return. Curly tells Angie that he's fed up that Phyllis seems to know more about his life than he does. Angie understands everyone speculating on what's about to happen now that Curly's engaged to Kimberley, and she thinks that the three of them ought to sit down and sort things out.

At a nearby table, Alf, Audrey, Derek and Mavis discuss the situation with Rita and Ted. Derek thinks that Rita will need all the help she can get. Everyone agrees, and Audrey allows that Alf will do all that he can, but between working at the shop and meeting his council responsibilities, he hasn't much time.

Alec arrives back at the pub and Raquel jokes that he's in trouble with Bet. He rushes through to the back where an irate Bet demands to know where he's been, noting at the same time that he stinks of whiskey. Alec smugly informs her that he's been to Newton and Ridley, and after some negotiations, he's managed to sell the tenancy. "All our bridges are burned," he tells a shocked Bet. "There's no going back."

Heather Morlan

Police Officer: NEIL GALLERY Nurse: LENA STAMPER
Written by TOM ELLIOTT Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Thursday (3430, Friday 28 August 1992)

Alec is busy getting paperwork together for the brewery's evaluation of the place, anxious to get a good price when they buy it back from him. Bet is helping Vicky pack and gather as she gets ready to depart for her next term at school. Alec reminds her to take everything since she won't be returning to the pub. Next time they see each other it will be in Southampton. He gives her the address of the hotel they'll be staying in until they find a place of their own. Bet hopes it is no place grotty. Not as grotty as the place she's been in the last few years, Alec snaps contemptuously. (Oy! You ! A little tact, here!) He assures them both that they'll have a nice place soon but Bet look rather dubious. Vicky actually admits she will miss the Rovers. It must have grown on her!

A well-tanned Reg has arrived back from a holiday in Spain, bragging about the senoritas and all the lingo he picked up which allowed him to see the Spain that the tourists never see. Interestingly enough, the only phrases he uses as examples are "My passport has been stolen" and "Get me to a doctor, quickly!" Curly is concerned at first, believing these were learned out of necessity rather than as a unique chat up line. After establishing that Reg isn't coming into work until Monday, Curly gets ready to go to work. To Reg's inquiries about any news he may have missed, Curly nonchalantly offers, "No, not much but I'm getting married in a few weeks" and he drives away leaving Reg sputtering in surprise.

Jim and Liz arrive home from Ireland. Steve informs them that Andy called and will be arriving home at dinnertime. Liz glances through the post and notices that Andy's exam results have also arrived. Though Jim is anxious to find out, Liz makes him wait. Andy will be there soon enough.

Jack, Raquel and Betty get ready for opening amid grumbling from jack about the heavy lifting. Betty surprises them both by acknowledging that she will likely be out of work next week when the new owner takes over. She won't be kept on, she doesn't think. Jack wonders if he too will end up on the scrap heap.

Alec frets over his paperwork. It's time for Vicky's departure for the train station so good byes are said tenderly, including one from Raquel who offers to pass on any messages to Steve. Vicky declines (not made it up then?) since she won't be seeing him again anymore anyway. Raquel asks Alec if he knows who the new landlord will be. Haven't a clue, he says, in a hurry to get back to his papers, but you won't get someone as soft as me! (would that be in the physical sense then?)

Kimberly and Curly are having a drink in the Rovers at dinnertime. Curly begins his tired old (desperate) campaign for a little pre-marital horizontal hoo dilly ("I feel all physically blocked because of the desire you arouse in me!" She doesn't do it on purpose, she bleats! LOL) Reg arrives and is surprised to see Kimberly back in the picture and not a little dismayed.

Andy arrives home at dinner time, hungry, shattered and broke but anxiously opens his exam results, triumphantly grinning from ear to ear when he sees he has 2 B's and a C! He's cracked it! Later in the pub, the MacDonald's are celebrating Andy and Paula both getting into university and are flummoxed when Bet tells them about her news. Liz didn't think Bet would ever leave the Rovers. Bet admits she never did either. Liz wonders about the status of her job but that will be up to the new owner. Steve and a girl friend arrive to join the celebration (the same one he had in the house the other day when Alec barged in). This causes Alec to gloat to Bet about the bonus in the move being that Steve will be out of Vicky's life for good! (Uh oh.SOPOD alert!)

Curly and Reg have a pint in the Rovers after work. Alec is leading a brewery evaluator around, enhancing the qualities of every stick, including the antique barstoolsout of date says the assessor. Reg raises his eyebrows at the news of the Gilroy's impending departure but turns Vera down flat when she pleads for a job for Jack in case he loses his job at the pub.

Sally has a heart to heart with Gail and reveals that Nicky admitted he took, or rather "borrowed" Martin's fiver. Gail sighs deeply and praises Sally to the rooftops for making her life a little easier by child minding. Sally admits she was going to pack in the job but Gail takes the blame for the recent tension on herself, finding it difficult to be all things to all people and admitting she isn't super Mom! Sally agrees to stay on and they are again friends.

Gail chews Nicky out for stealing Martin's money then sends him to bed early. Martin wants to have a go as well but Gail prevents it, saying she's already done it and he can talk to Nicky tomorrow if he wants to.

In a couple of cracking, *classic* Mummy and Daddy Taylor scenes we see how far Curly has evolved into a skillful manager as he plays Mummy Taylor like a violin, confident that he's got the measure of her finally and isn't about to let her manipulate him anymore, try as she might. And Try she does! She decides to fiddle with the wedding plans. The four are having their tea and some small talk. Daddy offers to take Norman to the greenhouse to examine his bumper crop of tomatoes. Mummy snaps peevishly "Sit down, Randolph, Norman doesn't want to see your old green house AGAIN!" The men obediently sit back down while Mummy gasses up the Control Panel. Her mission is to postpone the wedding. In hushed tones she describes Daddy's delicate condition, a rupture (hernia) and is waiting for his operation to put things right, as far as they *can* be, she casts a contemptuous glance in Daddy's direction (which suggests the hernia has been interfering in more ways than one! LOL) She doesn't want him walking Kimberly up the aisle, not the way he's been moving around at present (another sideways glance). They think January so he should be on his feet nicely by spring and after all a Spring Wedding, she smirks, confident she has Curly by the curlies. And after all what would people say if the wedding were to be rushed!

Norman understands completely. Oh yes, regarding the whole revelation with barely contained mirth. So be it, he plays his next card In the meantime, he and Kimberly will go on holiday instead, to make up for the disappointment! ZING!!!

Next time we see the little family, they are proceeding to the sitting room with Curly prancing or something behind Mummy. I can't figure out what he's doing but it becomes clear that he was trying to sneak around her to sit beside Kim on the settee. No such luck though, as Mummy plants herself firmly within reach of the apron strings. She attempts to talk him out of taking Kimberly (alone! Gasp!) on holiday because they have to think about saving for the wedding. Oh, no problems there, Mrs. Taylor! Since the wedding is postponed until spring, they've lots of time to save and since he won't have to make Angie leave right away he'll have her rent coming in as well! Good Point, Norman! Exults Daddy, enthusiastically. Randolph is told succinctly that his opinions are surplus to requirements Right, dear. Thank you is his humble response. Well,

Mummy continues, trying a different road, when she says "saving"Kimberly tries to interrupt but is quickly shut up, "Kimberly, *please*! Let Mummy get a word in!" (Honestly, that woman is like a steamroller!) She really means "saving" in the spiritual sense, saving themselves! Curly is sat back on the chair, just watching her flail about, knowing full well he's got her number. He can drive a steamroller too, not really surprised at the extent of her attempts in control. He lets her witter on for a minute then coolly points out that they're engaged, now and by the way, Kim still has her ring so he won't have to lash out for a new one. There is some confusion as to who has the ring, Curly left it on the side table. They all look at Mummy who flusters a bit, oh that's right! She did take it and put it somewhere safe.. Daddy unpipes and pipes up, revealing that not only is it in her jewel box but she's also had it in for evaluation to see how much it was worth, on the premise that she wanted to insure it. Thoroughly busted now, Mummy backs up the steam roller and firmly orders Randolph to take Curly to the greenhouse! Game, Set and match, Norman Watts!

Alec tries to get Liz and Jim out of the empty pub. He wants to close up abut Jim seems intent on continuing a bender. Liz manages to drag him out before he gets to surly and Alec locks up.

Kimberly, now properly beringed, cuddles with Curly on the settee. He urges her not to let her mother talk her out of their holiday. Hearing a noise, they sit up. It's Daddy, ostensibly there to relay a thinly disguised message from Mummy which really means she thinks it's time Norman left. After he loudly says t'ra to Curly to appease Mummy's listening ears, he leans into the room, grinning for all he's worth. I think if he had had a tail he would have been wagging it furiously at his "hero" as he chuckles, You played a real blinder in there tonight, Norman, about the holiday!! Put me in mind of meself mind you, he hesitates, this is before I had the rupture! (LOLOL! What a star!) He goes back to bed chuckling to himself to leave Curly looking very smug and satisfied with himself.

Bet lies in bed wide awake and looking troubled. Alec comes to bed, grumbling and looking forward to departing. It's been a long day and he's jiggered! He shuts off the light. "Alec?" Bet softly begins. "I told ya, I'm shot!" Bet softly utters the devastating words, She doesn't want to go. Sorry and she knows what she said and what she agreed to, but she really doesn't want to go!!! (Uh oh!)

Diane Johnston

Mr. Parker: CLIFFORD MILNER Paula Maxwell: JUDY BROOKE Susie Johnston: CLAIRE QUIGLEY
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by HOWARD BAKER


Originally transmitted: 31 August; 2, 4, 7 & 9 September 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 6 - Friday 10 December 1999
Episode Numbers: 3431 - 3435

Monday (3431, Monday 31 August 1992)

Bet is getting on with the onerous task of packing, today she's clearing out her wardrobe. She shows Alec a dress she bought in Spain and they reminisce about Torremellinos (I know that's spelled wrong!) when Alec came to find Bet, Rovers' tenancy in one hand and a marriage license in the other. Sentimentally they agree it's not worked out badly at all. But she's been happy here. Alec admits he's apprehensive about the move too, all this change and new challenges at his age but he assures Bet that she'll be happy in Southampton as well, and in six months they'll wonder why they didn't do it years ago.

Jim starts his new job as security guard today, a bank holiday and reckons the new guy will have to work all the holidays. He wishes Liz luck as she and the staff are meeting today, worried about their jobs.

Bet gathers a pile of old clothes and tells Raquel she can have anything that suits her. They are clothes that don't fit anymore and she's given up hoping to lose a few pounds to fit into them (Ladies, don't we all have a wardrobe like that?) Raquel, ever the diplomat, queries, Oh did you used to be slim then? But Bet just laughs it off. Raquel admires Bet for making such a big move to a new life. She tried it in London but couldn't get the jobs and the men were fully paid up rats and her little legs couldn't get her back to Weatherfield fast enough. She reckons she might have made a success of it if she had stuck it out longer but she wasn't happy. She was putting on an act and trying to be something she wasn't. This strikes to the heart of Bet's doubts as she listens quietly. Raquel goes on to press a few more buttons with comments that she is happier here, where she knows who she is, does that sound stupid, she asks. Bet shakes her head and says softly, Not at all. (She knows the truth of it)

The next scene has us in the Kabin. Nicky is asking Andy if he met Alain Prost in France, his hero. Turns out that Emily knows that M. Prost was the former world Formula One champion but Derek thought he was a pop singer similar to one Mavis likes. Andy lifts a surprised eyebrow in Emily's direction. They discuss Andy's bright future at Sheffield university and wish him luck. Martin arrives, having been looking for Nick who was apparently avoiding him.

He takes Nicky outside to have his turn at rollicking the boy for taking that money. It's the usual lecture about stealing vs. borrowing and lying about it when asked. Nicky is pained to hear that he will have to give up half his weekly allowance of a £1 a week to pay it off and is doubly dismayed when Martin takes his last 24p off him as a down payment!

A reluctant Betty is elected spokesperson for the little band of merry pint pullers. She's got the least to lose after all (but it seems to me they would have wanted the person with the most to lose to be the head Voice. Oh well, what do I know? I'm not the writer!) All three others use guilt to persuade Betty, Liz bemoaning the fact that she has to support a university student, Raquel afraid for the roof over her head and Jack pitying the fact that there will be no money for the new grandbaby! Blackmailers! Hisses Betty.

In the back, Alec is just finished up his VAT paperwork. Bet finds some old photos from 1977 in the sideboard and shows them to Alec. We see a faded Black and white photo of a group of people in fancy dress. It's the Jubilee floaters! Bet points out Annie Walker as Elizabeth I, Ena Sharples as Victoria, herself as Britannia, Ken, Albert Tatlock, Hilda, Eddie. Bet waxes sentimentally about the old days but Alec is too keen to get on with his errands to really listen. Betty arrives to speak to them but Alec rushes off to his accountant after warning Bet he's expecting a call from the evaluator. Betty gives Bet a hard time about what she sees as unconcern about the welfare of the staff. Bet explains that she really can't do more than make a recommendation on their behalf but that gives Betty reason to get all hurt and angry and defensive, thinking that Bet and Alec don't care about their past loyalty. She lashes out, Just go on then and swan off to your posh new life. I hope you'll be very happy!! And she stalks off angrily, leaving Bet even more unhappy.

Over in the caf, Andy waits for Paula, with a face like a wet weekend. Gail and Alma surmise he's been stood up and chuckle about young love. But he's not been stood up, Paula finally arrives. She was discussing university plans with her parents and she drops a bomb she's not going to Sheffield with Andy after all. She's got a last minute place at Manchester!! Andy is stunned, all their plans and now she's chucking him! No, Paula insists she's not doing that but she doesn't want to go to university automatically branded as part of a couple. It inhibits meeting new people. (how's that?) They can still see each other at weekends and holidays but Andy is rightly hurt. I think he's right, I think she is chucking him and they row.

Bet has a look in the quiet pub before opening, her little save haven. Later she takes a call from Parker who does not have good news. The offer from the brewery is much lower than Alec hoped! Bet's eyes shine with renewed hope that she won't have to leave after all.

Dinnertime in the pub and Lisa finally makes an appearance after a month or two absence. She and Vera discuss Jack's job security. Lisa tells them that Gail offered baby clothes but Vera insists no grandchild of hers is going to wear someone else's castoffs. Raquel has a swipe at Angie and gets the better of her this time.

Outside Emily approaches Ivy to collect for a present from the regulars for Bet and Alec's leaving party tomorrow night. Ivy contributes but doesn't think she'll attend. Emily looks concerned and tries to convince Ivy that she shouldn't hide herself away, having been in much the same situation after Earnest died. But Ivy is still licking her wounds and Emily inadvertently rubs salt in them when she mentions that Don was at Gail and Martin's the other day for a visit. A visit that Ivy knew nothing about!

Alec returns from his errands, slightly the drunker as he had a drink with an old mate. Bet tells him the offer was 25 thousand, pretending to be just as shocked as he and hoping to persuade Alec that the offer is an insult and he shouldn't put up with being taken for a mug! (that seems awfully low to me, since Gail and Martin just bought a mere house for around mid-30's didn't they? This is a business and a residence and ought to be worth double the offer!) She is shocked however when Alec takes a "C'est la vie" attitude since he can't change his arrangements now anyway, It's only money after all! (Alec? LOL it MUST be the drink talking!)

Do you hear the drums of doom pounding in the distance? You should do because Martin and Gail want to go out together to the leaving party but all their regular babysitters will be there too. Martin mentions a classmate of his, a young girl from Ireland who is homesick and misses her large family dreadfully. She's offered to sit anytime. She's called Carmel Finnan! Great, Gail smiles, if you trust her, then let's ask!

Alec rushes out into the bar with a change of plans. Bet hopefully asks if that means he's rejected the offer and they're staying. Nope. He accepted it and they are leaving even earlier than planned. Tomorrow night at 9! He's arranged for them to stay in a nice country inn halfway. Audrey ooh's and ah's and Alf says they can always push the party forward a few hours. Bet looks half sick. Angie and Curly arrive and immediately Raquel and Angie trade barbs, to Curly's annoyance. Angie warns Raquel not to think she can camp out with them if she loses her job and home. Of course Raquel points out it isn't up to her, it's up to Curly. Wrong again, Angie continues, it's not up to Curly who stays in that house, it's up to Mummy Taylor!

Andy tells Steve that Paula is going to Manchester and wants to meet new people Steve immediately assumes she is letting Andy down easy (so do I!) so Andy has to save face but still, he moans about womenwho'd have them?

Later on after closing, Alec heads off to bed, his last night in the pub. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of their lives he enthuses. Bet is still musing over her old photos when Raquel joins her, wondering why things have to end. Good question, flower is Bet's rueful answer. More memories come floating by when Raquel mentions Wayne and how she could never be just friends with a bloke. Bet tells her about a man she was great mates with, a man with a good heart that picked her up when she hit rock bottom. Eddie Yeats, and she shows Raquel a photo. Eddie lodged with Stan and Hilda and the camera focuses on a photo of that lovely and much-missed pair. She tells Raquel that Stan and Hilda's rows could put Jack and Vera to shame but when he died, a light went out in her. Bet tells Raquel about working in the raincoat factory in the 60's, which was situated by the Glad Tidings Mission, both gone now. There was Billy Walker who hired her as a barmaid though his mother, Annie wasn't best pleased. She recalls all the good friends she's made over the years, Ken, Deirdre, Alf, Betty, Rita...Rita in particular even if she did pinch the man Bet didn't half fancy, Len Fairclough. But they stayed mates because no man should come between friends. They'll all miss her when she goes, Raquel says. Not half as much as Bet admits she'll miss them. ..If she goes. Raquel starts. "What d'you mean, "if"?"

What, indeed.

Diane Johnston

Paula Maxwell: JUDY BROOKE
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by HOWARD BAKER

Tuesday (3432, Wednesday 2 September 1992)

The day Alec and Bet are to leave for their new life together in Southampton. And yet, here is Bet, not packing or saying her last goodbyes, but down at the offices of Newton and Ridley, waiting to speak with the new brewery manager, Richard Willmore. His secretary explains that he's very busy but Bet sits down to wait anyway.

Back at the pub, Alec is a little disconcerted to find Bet has gone out but he puts it down to her going around saying final farewells to her friends in Weatherfield - another good reason for leaving, he reckons, no more Stella Rigby! Betty approaches him about getting some money for the leaving "do" and he tells her to take £50 from the petty cash and buy "only the best caviar"! She thinks cheese sarnies would be more to the liking of the locals but doesn't argue. Once he retreats into the back, she suggests a going away present from the staff. Jack and Raquel hem and haw for a minute before making their excuses not to go to the expense - Raquel smiles that she hasn't been there very long and Jack says he has work to do.

Finally, Bet has been granted an audience with Mr. Willmore. She gets straight to the point, she has a proposition for him. Now that the brewery have bought back the tenancy to the pub, they'll be looking to put a manager in - she wants to know if they'll consider putting her in the job. She has worked there since 1970, she points out, even ran the place on her own before she married Alec. Mr. Willmore finds the idea of her staying behind while Alec goes off to Southampton puzzling. He assumes they are separating. "Oh no!" Bet corrects him. In that case, how can he be sure that she'll stick it out? What's to stop her from staying for a few weeks then deciding she wants to join her husband, at which time the brewery will again be seeking a new manager? Well, Bet explains, even if that does happen, it'll only delay things a few weeks.

A little head scratching and the brewery manager seems convinced. After all, having Bet as manager would offer continuity and it would save him the trouble of looking for a new manager, at least immediately. All right then, he tells her, she can have the pub, but it will be like starting from scratch - she'll be on six months probation. Bet reacts with a mixture of relief and shock, not to mention dread at the idea of breaking the news to Alec....

In the Corner Shop, Emily is excitedly telling Alf and Audreh about the parting gift she has selected for the Gilroys, a carriage clock. For a small additional fee, they can have an inscription plate added at the back. Alf thinks it a fine idea and immediately proposes an inscription: "Better hosts we'll never get than our good friends, Alec and Bet"! Audreh laughs openly while Emily politely suggests that it might be just a bit lengthy. Percy joins them in the shop just as Emily is talking about getting someone to present the gift and make a small speech. Percy is on the verge of volunteering his services when Emily again plays the diplomat, suggesting that Alf, as a councillor, would be best suited.

When Bet arrives back at the pub, she finds Alec buzzing around cheerfully looking forward to their departure this evening. Somberly, she asks him to come through to the back so they can have a word. He follows, wondering that she wasn't home "doing something useful", i.e., packing. "Alec", she interrupts, "I've been to the brewery". In surprise, he repeats, "The brewery!" Tearfully, she offers that she did tell him she didn't want to go. "I've asked them if I could stop on as manager - and they've agreed". Alec doesn't see or doesn't want to see that she really means it. She's only feeling "wrenched", but once they've settled in Southampton, she'll see it's all for the best. Softly, he tells her to ring the brewery and say it was all a mistake. As she shakes her head in refusal, he becomes more forceful, "No, I'm sorry Bet - but *yes* you *are* coming!" Calming himself, he tells her sympathetically that he can phone the brewery for her. "No Alec", she says quietly. "All right then, you'll make the call", he says gently. She refrains from contradicting him at this point but remains firm in her resolve.

Increasingly angry, Alec tries another approach. He refuses to see that she is acting out of anything but stubbornness. Why let her fond memories here keep them from embarking on a whole new life, a better life? But she argues that they've been happy here - why risk everything? He accuses her of pretending to go along with his plan while harbouring the hope that he would change his mind. She more or less confirms the truth of this. Putting his foot down, he announces that he's sold the tenancy and he *is* going - with or without her! "I'm sorry, Alec - you'll be going by yourself then", she says sadly. "Then so be it!" he announces with finality.

As the Platts get ready to head over to the pub, their new babysitter arrives. Martin shows her in and introduces her to Gail, Nicky and Sarah-Lou as Carmel Finnan, a fellow nursing student. Gail tells her she's very pleased to have her and Carmel modestly responds that she's eager to be here, anything is better than staring at the four walls in her own room! Smilingly, she turns her attentions to the children, telling Nicky she is from a place he won't have heard of, Tullamore in County Offaly, Ireland.

The regulars have started to fill the pub now. Alf is at the bar practicing his speech, with helpful pointers from Audreh, ("Don't be silleh Alfeh - just say she took over after Anneh Walker, you don't need to seh the year!") while Percy takes charge of getting signatures on the card.

In the back, things have reached a desperate pitch. Alec pleads for Bet's understanding on how much the move means to him - he's been counting the minutes until they go! She does understand, she insists, but he has to see what this place means to her too! Pausing for reflection, he asks with a note of cynicism, "Is this just a polite way of saying you want us to split up?" "NO! Alec, you must believe me - it's not that!" she answers emphatically. Tentatively, he takes her at her word, but adds that it's only a question of time before they *will* split up. "But it doesn't have to be that way!" she pleads. "There'll be weekends and Christmases - other folk do it and they manage!" Alec shakes his head sadly. "Other folk do it because they *have* to, because they have no choice -- I don't give us a year". Tearfully, she refutes his projection but he continues, a sense of loss in his voice, "I didn't marry you so we could live 300 miles apart! I wanted us to share everything - and I've done everything I can to make you happy. I bought this pub for you! But now - now, it's *my* turn..."

Weakened from the argument, Bet offers only, "Sorry Alec". He reels in anger to issue the ultimatum, "If you don't come with me tonight - you're announcing an end to our marriage!"

In the pub, Vera comes in with Lisa and Ivy and insists that they take a seat while she goes to get their drinks in. Seeing Curly at the bar, she suggests that it would be nice if "R Turry" could be his best man when he marries Kim, since Curly acted as "R Turry's" best man. Curly points out that the prison officials are highly unlikely to let the prisoner out for someone else's wedding after he did a runner when they let him out for his own!

The general atmosphere in the pub is merry, one of the customers joking that if Bet and Alec take much longer, the patrons will be leaving the place before they do!

In the back again, Bet and Alec's argument continues. In frustration Alec demands to know why Bet let him think they were about to pursue a new life when that isn't what she wanted. He didn't give her any choice, she contends. Well she could have said *something*, he retorts. She argues in vain that she did try to object. Alec's final word on the subject, "This isn't about jobs, or where we live - this is about our marriage - and whether you stand by me or not!" In walks Betty to quietly convey that everyone is ready in the pub - they are waiting only for Bet and Alec to make their entrance. Aware of their surroundings for the first time, Bet rises to follow Betty, saying she's going to put a stop to the "pantomime" going on out there!

As she enters the bar, the patrons break into vigorous applause. Visibly shaken, Bet turns to tell Jack quietly but forcefully that she isn't going! Alec races in on her heels and demands Jack tell him what she said. "She said she isn't going, boss", repeats the mystified barman. That's all Alec needs to hear. As he heads for the front door, Bet shrieks after him desperately, "Alec!!!" Leaving the assembly mumbles to each other in confusion, she runs out the door after him.

In the street, she watches helplessly while he gets into his car and starts the motor. Indignantly he charges her, "Make sure you tell that lot the truth of the matter - that you chose to walk out on me!" Without another word, he drives off, leaving her standing in front of the pub, desolate and deflated...

Anita Bélanger

Brewery Secretary: ANN ARIS Richard Willmore: OLIVER BEAMISH Carmel Finnan: CATHERINE CUSSACK
Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by HOWARD BAKER

Wednesday (3433, Friday 4 September 1992)

A new day on the street, and Bet faces hers without Alec. She wanders around the bedroom, stops in front of Alec's wardrobe, and picks up one of his stray socks. "Not much of a souvenir, Tiger," she says sadly.

Across the street, Nicky is putting up a fuss about going to school. He reminds Gail that he doesn't have a sports bag or a hockey stick, and Gail points out that he doesn't need those things for his first day. She promises that she'll try to find him some second-hand equipment and a hockey uniform, causing Nicky to pout that he never gets anything new. Gail puts his bad mood down to nervousness over his first day at a new school.

Downstairs in the Rover's Return, Bet continues her remiscing over the past while staring at the carriage clock that was to be a going-away present. She wanders into the darkened pub, opens the front door, and goes out into the street. She looks at the sign above the door and sadly tells Raquel that the brewery will have to paint over that part of the sign that shows Alec Gilroy as the proprietor.

Meanwhile, Jack and Vera discuss the latest turn of events at the Rover's Return, with Jack speculating that Alec has another woman waiting for him in Southampton. Vera disagrees, believing it's just one of those "falling outs" that married people have. Lisa walks into the fray, and Jack asks her if she'd want Terry if she found out that he had another woman. Vera tells Jack not to be so daft; Terry couldn't have another woman, given that he's banged-up in prison. Jack can't see any other reason for Bet refusing to join Alec in his new job, so concludes that he's right. Vera wonders why it hasn't occurred to Jack that it could be that Bet has another man -- in fact, she teases, it could be that Bet fancies Jack, and didn't want to be separated from him. Jack seriously considers this as a possibility, causing Vera and Lisa to howl with laughter.

Audrey bumps into Ivy on the street, and they too discuss the events of the night before. Neither of them have the full picture, but it seems clear that there are problems in Bet's and Alec's marriage. Audrey thinks it's a shame if they can't work out their differences, but Ivy attacks her, saying that she heard the glee in Audrey's voice when the news was broken. Audrey is taken aback by this remark, and disagrees, but Ivy goes on to say that it wasn't hard for her to see how pleased Audrey was when she heard that Don had left.

At the Rover's Return, Jack, Raquel, and Betty discuss the sudden change in plans, while Jack bemoans chipping-in a few quid for a going-away present that wasn't really needed. Bet enters and begins by thanking them for their patience. Jack is far from tactful when he tells her that the carriage clock was expensive, but Bet appears to miss his point when she agrees and thanks them again for their generosity. Jack even wonders out loud if it's too late to get a refund, causing Betty to snap at him that Bet wants to make an announcement -- if she can get a word in edgewise. Liz arrives a bit late, and with the staff assembled, Bet begins by telling them that she and Alec could not see eye-to-eye over the Southampton move, so Alec has gone on alone to his new position. Now she's going to be running the place as its manager, but she's on probation for the next six months. Newton and Ridly have bought the place, so from now on it's down to costs and profits. The staff will be paid by cheque instead of cash (meaning Jack will have to open a bank account, much to his chagrin), and Newton and Ridley own everything now -- right down to the chairs they sit on to drink their morning tea. She finishes by telling them that "if truth be told, they bought you and me."

Later, as the staff prepare to open the pub, Jack tells Raquel that as far as he's concerned, Bet was trying to tell them that their days are numbered and they'll soon all be out of a job. Raquel reminds Jack that he can always find work elsewhere as a cellarman, but she would also lose the roof over her head. Jack scoffs at this notion, expressing the view that a pretty young woman can always find another job and a place to live, causing Raquel to call him "a femininist." Betty corrects Raquel, and thinks the word she's looking for is "sexist." As Jack and Raquel squabble over their respective roles at the pub, Raquel retorts that she could do his job anyday, but Jack thinks not, since it's heavy slogging lugging crates up and down the stairs. Raquel ends the discussion by saying she could do that sort of work because she's "a feminist."

Mavis waits to be served at the bar and wonders if Bet's around. Seconds later, Bet strolls into the bar area, wearing her usual "customer smile." Mavis assumes a concerned and maternalistic demeanour, her voice full of sympathy as she expresses her sentiment that it must be a strain for Bet with her husband leaving. "It must be an uncertain time for you," she opines as she wonders if Alec will be back soon. "Who knows," shrugs Bet. Mavis is mortified by how very public the break-up was, but Bet refuses to wear her heart on her sleeve or to confide her feelings. Instead, she tells Mavis that she would appreciate it if she would ask Rita to pop by later for a chat. Not wanting to miss out on all the juicy tidbits, Mavis assures Bet that she and Derek are more than happy to be available if Bet needs to talk. "You mean you want the gossip," retorts Bet -- "all the dirt, all the gorey details. You could dine on that for weeks." An affronted Mavis protests that she's merely offering friendship. "Friendship," quips Bet. "That's when folk get the low-down on your life for the price of a grapefruit juice. Sorry Mave, it'll cost you a sight more than that."

At school, older boys pick on Nicky and his buddy, laughing at their uniforms. Ken happens upon the scene, and sensing tension in the air, sends the seniors on their way. As it turns out, Nick and his friend can't find the canteen, so Ken offers to escort them there.

Don arrives back at the rooming house with a mysterious leather bag, which Mrs. Wentworth offers to carry. He gleefully insists that she join him for a cup of tea, and his toom he unzips the satchel and produces his new prosthetic leg.

At the Cafe, Audrey tells Gail of her meeting with Ivy earlier in the day. She tried to be civil, but Ivy was her usual nasty self, and as far as Audrey is concerned, Ivy ought to go about in perpetual black, the way some widows do, the picture of eternal misery. Ivy's biggest problem, though, is that her husband didn't die. She tells Gail that Audrey accused her of enjoying it when Don left her. Gail laughs and reminds her mother that she *did* enjoy it!

While Gail and Audrey exchange news, Andy comes into the Cafe and approaches Paula, who is sitting at a table by herself. Realizing that he's been a bit of a prat over Paula's decision to go to another university, Andy admits that he really wanted them both to attend Sheffield, but if things can't work out that way, he doesn't see why it has to spell the end to their relationship. They both agree they'll miss each other.

Don, meanwhile, has strapped on his prosthesis and seems to be getting around the room nicely. "Well done," Mrs. Wentworth enthuses, just as Don takes a tumble. They both collapse in laughter as she tries unsuccessfully to get him back on his feet.

At the Duckworth's, Jack struggles into the living room with a disassembled crib and announces to Vera that he's pulled it down from the attic. It used to be Terry's, and Jack plans to refurbish it for Lisa's baby. Vera gets all teary-eyed, remembering the days when Terry was an infant, and then wonders if using the crib again might be a bad omen -- like father, like son.

In the living room at the Rover's Return, Bet and Rita pour drinks while Bet goes over her marriage. She reflects on her relationship with Alec and observes that over all, marriage is hard work. She can't help but wonder if she's being selfish in her decision to stay in Weatherfield, but at least there she has her own friends. She couldn't face the prospect of starting all over in a new place, stuck there with Alec and no one else to turn to. Rita thinks that all Bet did was follow her own instincts because she's always been her own person. Bet tells Rita that she's so happy for her, now that she's found herself such a good man in Ted. Rita begins to tell her that her own life isn't a bed of roses, and seems about to tell Bet about Ted's medical problems, but Rita interrupts and draws a parallel between her own situation and Rita's refusal to move to Florida with Ted.

On the other side of the wall, the punters continue to speculate on why Bet refused to join Alec. Raquel looks glum over the situation, while Des allows that he can't talk about relationships breaking up, given his own recent failures. Percy bursts upon the scene with a huge grin on his face, eager to tell the others that he just won at bowling, and as far as he's concerned, he's got a good chance at winning the championship. Alf snickers at Percy's optimism, pointing out that many of the players he'll come up against are half his age. Not to be dismissed, Percy insists that skill is more important than age, and before Alf realizes what's happening, a bet of £100 is made.

Upstairs in the bedroom, Bet and Rita look at Alec's empty wardrobe while Bet comments that the only thing Alec left behind was a couple of odd socks -- that's all that's left of her marriage. Bet has decided that she'll move it into Vicky's room because she needs the space, and besides that, it reminds her too much of Alec. Trying hard to smile, she tells Rita that she'll stick it in the spare room, put the clock on top, and "lock the flaming door."

Heather Morlan

Phil Saunders: FRANK LAUDER Billy Jarvis: KEVIN ARNOLD Mark Redman: CHRIS COOK Eileen Wentworth: LOTTIE WARD
Written by STEPHEN MALLATRATT Directed by JULIAN FARINO

Thursday (3434, Monday 7 September 1992)

Amid the morning breakfast ritual at the Platt's, the phone rings. Carmel offers her sitting services for tonight. Gail thinks it's a bit cheeky but she and Martin decide not to look the gift horse in the mouth. They don't notice that Nicky is not very chipper, and in fact looks rather glum.

Vera's just off to work, cautioning Jack to look after Lisa, who looks like she's about to pop the baby any day now! I wonder if she was pregnant in real life because her face seems rounder. Maybe not. Ivy comes for a ride to work but seems to have little patience for Vera's proud clucking over Lisa instead of getting on to work. She finally snaps impatiently, being a grandmother is fine until the shine wears off but after that they take you for granted anyway!

Rita's got Bet on her mind. Ted offers to cook a meal for them both but Rita isn't sure Bet wants folk fussing over her. Any road, Ted says he'll cook for Rita if she'll get the wine.

In the pub, Raquel scans the morning post hoping for a postcard from Wayne who's playing away in Torquay. There isn't one but there is an envelope from Southampton from Alec. Bet opens it but it's just an impersonal change of address card. She shows no emotion and puts it to one side adding a sarcastic remark for good measure.

Audrey's finally heard about Alf's £100 bet with Percy from the bowler himself. Alf is confident that Percy has no chance of winning anyway, even more so when he finds out that Percy's next opponent is a man of near professional abilities. Audrey recalls that Percy certainly seemed up for the challenge!

Bet sits at the table smoking, staring off into space, her face a blank. The phone rings but though she looks over at it, she doesn't move. Raquel answers it and calls for Bet, it's Vicky! Now it isn't clear how Vicky found out about Bet and Alec because she said she couldn't get hold of Alec and knew to call Bet at the pub but it's possible she got the change of address card and a note with it I suppose. Anyway Bet's face fills with dread as she takes the call. Vicky is really upset, feeling that she's lost another loved one and flummoxed because she had no idea what was going on. Bet tries her best to explain but Vicky doesn't deal with it well even though Bet assures her that she'll always have a home at the pub with her and will always have her love. Vicky hangs up on Bet and begins to weep in the phone box. Bet looks as if what's left of her heart has just broken.

In the bookies', Jack has just lost again and he scatters the shreds of his tickets around him like confetti and moaning to Des about his bad luck. Both men turn with surprise to see Don hobbling into the shop still steadying himself on his crutches, taking it slowly with the new leg. Don is hesitant but is drawn in by the warm greetings. Jack and Don have a heart to heart. Well, as much as men ever do with each other. Don tells Jack about this new leg and Jack wonders when Don will come back to the Rovers. Don doesn't think it's a good idea just yet, what with Ivy still in the neighbourhood. Jack suggests they have a drink somewhere else and proposes a pub near the bowling green where Percy's tournament is reaching it's semi finals tomorrow. Don is hesitant, knowing there will likely be some of his old neighbours there but decides neutral ground is the best and agrees.

Liz and Raquel quietly discuss Bet, amazed that Bet seems to be taking Alec's departure with a cavalier attitude. No floods of tears, no screaming or throwing things, just a "butter wouldn't melt" attitude with the odd sarcastic comment at Alec's expense. (See, if Betty was there she could tell them that's what Bet does when things are at their worst. When her heart is broken, she puts on a mask and carries on) Bet catches them gossiping but only makes another crack about Alec, leaving them to Tsk in her wake.

Jack tells Vera and Lisa about his encounter with Don. No, he didn't mention Ivy, his fancy woman or his future plans for employment or living arrangements. Well what did they talk about, Vera inquires! Percy's bowling tournament! Vera gapes at him, stunned.

Martin and Gail are just about ready to leave. Nicky complains about a stomach ache and is sent to bed just before Carmel arrives. Gail worries but Martin believes Carmel is up to the responsibility and Carmel herself assures Gail she'll run across the road to the pub if Nicky needs her. Later on , Nicky gets out of bed, still complaining. Carmel makes him some warm milk and asks about Nicky's new school. Nicky admits it's a bit scary. Carmel identifies, she felt really frightened when she came for her nursing course. It was such a big change coming to a big unfriendly city and she hated it. She decided to give it 6 months and now she's made loads of friends, including Nicky (which makes him smile). She advises the lad that he shouldn't give up at the first hurdle. This seems to do the trick and Nicky feels better quickly.

The pub is busy tonight. Alf is disconcerted to discover that Percy defeated his opponent and is proceeding to the quarter finals with great confidence. Rita pops in to pick up a bottle of wine for dinner. Bet puts on a brave face while Alma and Audrey strain to hear from the booth. Is she whistling in the dark? Alma speculates. More like singing the Merry Widow, Audrey (catty) guesses. Phyllis congratulates Percy but when he finds out she knows his next opponent, his usual disdain for her turns to interest, hoping that she can give him a few clues as to his rival's bowling style. Alf listens on, ever more alarmed and corners Des over by the Men's. Des agrees the odds have become a bit more favorable to Percy winning, 10 to 1 in fact. Alarmed, Alf puts a 10 quid bet with Des in favour of Percy winning but he's to keep it quiet from Audrey and Percy! (well that would cover his £100 loss if Percy wins wouldn't it?)

Gail pops over to the house to check. She finds Nicky up and watching telly, no more stomach ache. She sends him off to bed and Carmel fills her in. Gail seems pleased with the way the girl handled it and goes back to the pub to Martin.

Down behind the cladding, Vera sits on the settee knitting while Lisa sits writing Terry a letter, enduring Vera's incessant chatter about this and that. She finally suggests Vera visit Ivy who might be glad of a visit. Vera does go over so she can tell Ivy about Don and Jack's visit. But of course she doesn't have anything of any great import to impart, Ivy is left frustrated. Vera expresses a bit of sympathy for Don's plight which gives Ivy even more ammunition, when is anyone going to have any sympathy for her!!! (umnever.)

Ted and Rita have a happy cuddle after dinner (is he allowed alcohol if he's taking even stronger pain killers? Not that I suppose it really matters at this point) SOPOD alert!! They gush about being so happy, and that it doesn't seem fair that they should be so happy when there's poor Bet across the road. (*sigh*) Rita perceptively comments that Bet may seem bright and shiny on the outside but what's going on under the surface is a different matter.

And indeed, Betty is just saying good night to Bet and asking how she's getting on. She calls Bet on her smart ass reply. Bet assures Betty she's just fine, she thought long and hard about this and now she's going to stick with her decision. But for all her bravery, she heaves a heavy sigh after she locks up. As if to say, I didn't think I was going to get through today! She goes through to the back and picks up the address card from the telephone table and sits down on the stairs. Gazing at the card she whispers Alec's name and holds the card to her heart and allows herself to cry.

Diane Johnston

Written by MARTIN ALLEN Directed by JULIAN FARINO

Friday (3435, Wednesday 9 September 1992)

Lisa is working away this morning on housecleaning when Raquel drops by to see if she'd like to see a film that afternoon. While Lisa is pointing out that she's up to her elbows in dishes and the house is up in slings, she has a tummy pang, but assures Raquel that it's nothing. Raquel waxes philosophical about not having Lisa's company that afternoon, noting that life is temporary after all, and she thinks she'll get her roots done instead!

Bet, Liz and Betty are working together to shift boxes and to prove to Jack that women can work quite well together in groups in spite of his belief that they can't. There is a real attitude of can-do teamwork in the Rovers, with the group rising to the challenge of helping Bet carry on without Alec.

Percy strolls down Coronation Street and exchanges some shouted barbs across the way with Alf, who's on the shop step, about their lawn-bowling bet. Des, who's listening in, tells Alf after Percy passes that he is going to change the odds on the match in Percy's favour. "You said 10-1!" says Alf. "More like 8-1. Look at that stride!" says Des, gazing after the retreating Percy with a worried Alf.

Lisa is vaccuuming when she suddenly has a sharp pain. She begins breathing carefully and counting under her breath. She goes to the kitchen where she adds a note on the length of the contraction and the time since the last one to a list of previous notations. It looks like it's time!

In the Rovers, Ted tells Rita that Phyllis has "specifically asked" them to go watch Percy's bowling match that evening. Rita says she wishes he's "specifically said no"! She'd rather watch paint dry!

Phyllis comes into the Rovers and spies Percy sitting there. He is as disinterested as usual in her appearance there but his ears perk up considerably when Phyllis announces she's got quite a tidbit of news for him - she's found out that Alf has bet on Percy winning the bowling match, in addition to his bet on Percy's opponant. "Hedging his bets, eh?" says a very satisfied Percy. "So he _does_ think I'll get to the finals!" He offers to upgrade Phyllis' drink order to a sherry, so pleased is he by the news, but Phyllis, never one to miss a trick, announces that she'll take a double brandy!

Liz and Jack talk about Bet managing the Rovers on her own. Jack allows Bet could've had a life of luxury and turned it down. "Turned _him_ down, Jack," points out Liz. "There's a difference!"

Bet is at that moment in the pub living area looking wistfully at her and Alec's wedding photos. Betty comes through to tell Bet that Rita has been asking after her and would like to buy her a drink. Bet accepts, putting on that brave face of hers. As she walks past Betty, the older woman lays a hand on Bet's arm and gently assures her that if she needs to talk, Betty is there to listen.

Vera very nearly runs Ken over in the street in her rush to get home to Lisa. She is quite beside herself in contrast to the calm, if nervous, mother-to-be. Clasping Lisa's hand, Vera frantically recites a long poem leading Lisa (and me) to ask, "What was _that_ all about?" It's something they taught her to remember how to breathe right, replies an agitated Vera. Lisa bemusedly assures Vera she'll try to remember it. Finally they depart for the hospital.

Ken eats his lunch in the Cafe as he and Alma compare notes on their respective occupational nuisances - for Ken, students, for Alma, lorrie drivers. Gail takes a phone call; it's Martin, announcing that Carmel has agreed to babysit yet again that night so they're going out again. "Where?" asks Alma. "Anywhere! You don't know what it's like to have a babysitter you can trust!" replies Gail. Uh-oh! SOPOD! Phyllis, who has come in and overhears this exchange, interjects, "So you're free tonight, are ya Gail?"

We move with the speed of light to a beer garden where Jack (who has the afternoon off) is keeping his appointment with Don. Just at that moment, back at the Rovers, Vera calls looking for Jack to inform him that Lisa's gone into labour. Betty says Jack's gone for some appointment but he didn't say where. She assures Vera she'll deliver the important message if she can.

Vera is waiting at Lisa's bedside in hospital. She tells the Midwife that "Our Terry - Lisa's husband - is 'working away' at the moment." (Is that what they call it now? <g>) "Would it be okay if I went with her, when it's time?" "If that's what Lisa really wants," replies the Midwife. "I do," says Lisa firmly. When the Midwife moves on, Lisa encourages Vera to take a shot of laughing gas which Vera does. "Oooh, s'not 'alf bad!" declares the giddy grandma-to-be!

Betty goes by the Cafe looking for a phone number or address for Don Brennan. She tells Gail and Alma she's tracking Jack to tell him about Lisa and they thought perhaps he went to visit Don. Gail nearly tells her but then smoothly recovers and says that she can't remember, the phone number is at home and for Betty not to worry as Gail will call him. (With this nice recovery, Gail manages to stop Don's phone number from slipping into the incredible Coronation Street Communications Network while not offending Betty.)

The Don and Jack in question are at that moment still hoisting ales at the beer garden, and from Jack's difficulty focusing it appears they've had quite a few! They quite unsteadily get up - at least Don has an excuse! - and prepare to go see Percy's big bowling tournament.

Martin brings the kids' tea and as he and Gail join the family he wonders where they should go that night. Gail reveals that Phyllis has co-opted them to support Percy at his bowling tournament. It's only an hour, she smiles, as Martin pulls a face, then they'll go somewhere else. Just then Carmen arrives, quite early for the babysitting gig.

At the hospital, the Doctor and Midwife are concerned with Lisa's lack of dilation. They feel a ceasarean section may be necessary, and Lisa readily agrees if it's what's necessary. They inform her that if she likes she can remain awake during the surgery (good lord. put me out!) and that Vera can still accompany her if she chooses. Lisa opts to stay awake and asks Vera with a frightened look if Vera will come with her. The look on Vera's face speaks volumes but she bravely hides her squeamish fear and assures Lisa that she wouldn't miss the birth of her grandchild for the world! When next we see them, they are in the operating theatre. The doctor peers over the barrier that is stretched across Lisa's shoulders and says, "Are you all right?" "Oh, yeah, I'm okay now," replies Vera, seated next to Lisa's head. "I meant _her_!" says the Doctor!

At the bowling green, Rita, Ted, Gail, Martin and Des appear to cheer Percy on at Phyllis' behest. Percy is astonished. "They never come to see me bowl!" he says in wonder, obviously touched. "Well, they're here now," says Phyllis, fairly glowing at the success of her gesture. As the Coronation Street Cheerleaders (notably rowdy among the sedate spectators at the lawn bowling club) look on, Ted tells Rita he feels a bit warm and will move to a bench a bit away where it looks cooler. Jack and Don arrive, barely upright, and Gail runs over to them to breathlessly give Jack the news that Lisa's gone into labour and has probably had the baby by now! Jack rushes off to the hospital.

In the operating theatre, Vera is chattering away to Lisa, distracting her with unintentionally hilarious stories about her cousins which wouldn't do much for my confidence if I was about to bear a child from the gene pool! The Doctor interrupts to draw their attention to the real action - the baby is emerging. Vera stands up to peer over the barrier and her eyes nearly pop out of her head at the sight (the wonderful Liz Dawn shines again). The Doctor holds up a brand new born baby to the tearful Lisa and Vera.

Back at the bowling green Percy is locked in heated battle. Tragically, he loses on his last ball (I think by knocking one of his own balls out, the equivalent of scoring on his own net, although I am not familiar with the rules of lawn bowling). "I don't believe it," he repeats to himself. His friends try to comfort him. Alf offers a handshake but Percy is too downhearted to accept it. "It got very gripping towards the end," says Reet, trying to hide her amusement at Percy, in the end, defeating himself. "I think I'll come again!" "Well, if you do, don't bring him!" snaps Percy, apparently referring to Ted. "Oh, I'm sorry - he's had a _very_ busy day," says Rita bemusedly, rushing off to retrieve Ted, who's fallen asleep on the bench. "Hi, Sleepyhead," she says gently - but in a split second, her expression changes to one of concern.

Lisa is settled in a hospital room now, and Vera is holding an absolutely beautiful infant. (And I'm one of those people who can't tell one baby from another, except that I can usually tell one end from the other. Usually. But this infant actor was Botticelli-beautiful.) Jack enters the room. The first words out of his mouth are, "Don't be mad at me, Vee - I didn't know anything about it and I've had a bit of a drink." "Don't be daft," replies Vera, who nothing could upset today. Jack and Vera gaze in wonder at the baby. "I'm his Granddad," says Jack proudly. "I'm his Granddad," he informs a beaming Lisa. "I'm going to call him 'Tom'," says Lisa.

Back at the bowling club, Des is frantically asking for a phone. He is finally directed to the clubhouse. The reason for his panic is Ted, who is slumped in a weeping Rita's lap. "Oh, Ted," sobs Rita over and over, while her husband lays in her arms, silent and still.

ronniecat

Midwife Marie Hannity: JOANNE STONER Mr. Benson : PHILIP ROWLANDS First Appearance of: Tom Duckworth: DARRYL EDWARDS
Written by PAUL ABBOT Directed by JULIAN FARINO


Originally transmitted: 11, 14, 16, 18 & 21 September 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 13 - Friday 17 December 1999
Episode Numbers: 3436 - 3440

Monday (3436, Friday 11 September 1992)

Bet is off to visit Vicky and have a talk to see if she can't help Vicky come to terms with what's happened between Bet and Alec.

Jack cuddles his pigeons and shows them to Angie over the fence. She admires the pretty bird and then comes around to the yard to look at Jack's latest project. He's taken Terry's old cot and lovingly restored it. It looks like new! Angie admires Jack's handiwork and says Lisa will love it! Jack swears Angie to secrecy.

Rita seems to be coping quite well with Ted's death. She tells Alf that Ted had a lot of the details sorted out before he died to make it easy for her. Alf expresses his sympathy and says it's a pity though. Rita says it would be more of a pity had she never met and married Ted. Aye. Rita insists on going to register the death herself even though Alf volunteers and later Mavis offers Derek's assistance. She needs to do something to keep herself busy.

Jack is in a very good mood at work, chuffed and puffed over his new state of grandfatherhood. WE find out that Raquel is on holidays in Corfu and Bet has given Jack a bit of time off tonight to visit the baby so Betty doesn't relish the possibility of opening and running the pub on her own if Bet isn't back in time.

Gail extols the virtues of Carmel but reckons it's put Ivy's nose out of joint. Gail's torn between using Ivy to sit out of duty and using Carmel because the kids like her better and is feeling guilty. Percy doesn't help when he comes in passing on the news that he's seen Ivy filling a prescription at the chemists. Gail decides to visit Ivy later but the visit ends in a bit of a stand off. Gail tries to make Ivy realize that she can't keep Don from seeing the kids and she won't let the kids forget about their granny but the kids like Carmel. Ivy, who's ailment seems to be a nervous stomach from the stress, crabs that she feels left out and doesn't' approve that Gail is leaving the kiddies with a stranger. .

Mavis worries about Rita. Derek worries about their job situation as he predicts Rita will want to come back to the Kabin now that Ted has passed.

The pub is short handed at dinner so Mike spends his wait chatting to Angie about the rag trade. She's taken the day off as she has been very overworked lately, doing her buying job but also covering for the jobs of various staff members who have left and not been replaced.

Meanwhile, at Vicky's school, Bet has had a meeting with Dr. Carr, the headmistress. The Head is glad to be informed of the situation as they knew something was bothering Vicky though she wouldn't talk about it. Bet is there to see Vicky and assure her that she hasn't lost a second set of "parents" and wants to help the girl understand things. Vicky and Bet go for a walk on the grounds. Poor lass is at sixes and sevens over the whole thing. Bet glosses over it all a bit, letting on that it could just be a temporary separation and tells Vicky that there was nobody else involved, just the two of them. When push came to shove, Bet just couldn't leave the Rovers but it wasn't something she expected to happen, nor did Alec. She tries to make Vicky see the brighter side, now that she'll have two homes to choose from, Southampton and Weatherfield. Vicky earnestly hopes that they can all three spend time together if it's possible. Bet agrees but her face mirrors her doubts.

At home, Betty tells Mr. Wilmore from the brewery (on the phone) that Bet has only just stepped out to the shops. Jack wonders if he's called about staffing concerns. When Bet gets home, shortly before second opening, she wakes Betty who's been snoozing on a chair. Betty, relieved that Bet is back to help (Bet had forgotten she'd given Jack some time off on top of Raquel's holidays), asks how the visit with Vicky went. She tells Betty it went fairly well and goes to call the brewery back.

Jack holds his grandson, a bonny baby. He proudly murmurs to the baby about his hopes and ambitions and tells the baby and Vera that he's got a surprise at home.

Bet stops over to see Rita during a slow moment at the pub. Rita was just about to steady herself with a drink so Bet joins her. Rita is still coping pretty well but found it a bit unsettling today, having to collect the death certificate before going to the registrar's office. The funeral is Monday and she asks Bet to be there. As if she even had to ask!! Rita sadly states she's really ok and has to accept what's happened and get on with things. They realize they're both in the same boat nearly though Bet points out that Rita didn't have much of a choice. Rita comforts her friend by saying sometimes having a choice is harder. (Seems to me Bet really didn't feel she had much of a choice either!) Rita asks Bet about her troubles , wanting to take her mind off her own. Bet describes her day and admits that though she told Vicky that the separation could be temporary, she feels that unless she were to move to Southampton it isn't likely she'll ever see Alec again.

Jack proudly shows Vera the cot in the back yard. Vera is impressed and touched at all the work Jack has put in. Only now she feels a bit mean. She's read in a magazine an article which says pigeons carry disease. Jack objects but Vera insists, if she's read it, then it's true. Jack will have to get rid of the birds since they can't have the baby around with the disease risks! Get shut!

Diane Johnston

Dr. Carr: VIRGINIA DENHAM
Written by KEN BLAKESON Directed by CHARLES LAUDER

Tuesday (3437, Monday 14 September 1992)

Losses and bereavement, large and small, are the theme of the day in the Street.

In a touching scene, we see Jack attempting to make a crib mobile for Baby Tommy out of coat hangers and - bottle caps! He points out to a dubious Vera that they're nice and shiny after all. Vera reiterates that Jack's pigeons must go due to the danger of disease she read about in a magazine. Jack is shattered at losing his precious birds but faced with Vera's threat to wring their necks herself, he contact a mate who he knows will provide them a good home.

Later in the day there's a heartbreaking scene where Jack says goodbye to his beloved birds. He muses how many secrets he's told them and how much they have meant to him. He tells them they must make the best of it; his friend is a good lad and they must all do right by Tommy, after all.

It is the day of Ted's funeral. Alf, who is more worked up and nervous about the arrangements on Rita's behalf than Rita herself, brings food to Reet's for the reception afterwards and refuses payment. Rita tells Alf she is dreading seeing Ted's relatives, since they did not know he was still terminally ill (they thought his condition had been sucessfully treated) and his death was unexpected to them. She expects his sister, Sarah, and Sarah's son, Roger, as well as Sarah's husband Philip who she has never met before.

The aforementioned arrive early and unexpectedly, having driven all night. Rita, still in her bathrobe, tells them that Ted's death wasn't completely unexpected, and admits that she knew before she married Ted. Sarah and the family seem to take the news very well, accepting that Ted didn't want to worry them.

All too soon it is time to leave, and just as Jack's friend Wally loads the wicker baskets containing Jack's pigeons into the back of his truck, the funeral cortage slowly leaves the street, an aerial shot juxtaposing Jack's own lesser loss of his comfort and solace with Rita's great loss of her beloved Ted.

At the reception following the funeral, Philip does mention to Bet and Audrey the fact that Rita knew. They discreetly don't let on that they did, too. Later we see Philip asking Emily if she knows if Ted sold his car - it was fairly new, he says. When Emily says with a hint of disapproval that she has no idea, Philip says he'll ask "Reet" - she'll know! Emily pointedly remarks that she has other things on her mind at the moment! Things go from bad to worse when Mavis lets the cat out of the bag by mentioning to Sarah, Roger and Philip that many people in the street knew about Ted's terminal condition - that Rita felt it necessary to explain his behavior as he got sicker. She also tells the shocked relatives about the incident when Ted forgot where he lived and went missing.

Martin and Carmel come into the Cafe. Carmel has left a textbook at Gail and Martin's. She is offered a meal of macaroni and cheese (which simply isn't selling) by Alma, and she and Martin eat lunch. Jack, wandering sadly around mourning his pigeons, runs into them and asks them about the disease borne by pigeons that Vera read about, and which she insisted Tommy was at risk of unless the pigeons went. Martin and Carmel tell Jack that it was unnecessary to get rid of the birds unless they were already infected. Jack is doubly upset! He goes home and has a showdown with Vera, accusing her of using a little baby as a mere excuse to make him get rid of his pigeons, who she never liked. "I mean nothing to you now!" he shouts tellingly, realizing that he comes a distinct second to Tommy now for Vera. Furious, he goes out back to dismantle the coop while a distressed Vera calls after him.

However, nature has the last word, as Jack's birds return home in spite of his efforts! Vera spits that he knew they'd come back but he insists he didn't (and indeed, he didn't, he told Mike Baldwin in the Rovers that they would not return). However, he tries to get on her good side by saying that perhaps it was nature's way of welcoming their grandchild! He mentions cultures where a stork nesting on the roof means good luck for the infant inside (I believe this is a Dutch belief?) and suggests perhaps this means something similar. Vera is skeptical, but the long and short of it is that Jack is reunited with his beloved birds. (Hooray!)

People have begun to leave the post-funeral reception at Rita's and disperse around the street. Ivy comes into the shop where Alf and Audrey have returned. She uses the mention of Ted's funeral as a segue to ask about Don - Ted died at Percy's bowling match, didn't he? And Don was there... wasn't he? Did Don say anything to anyone that Alf knows of? Did he mention her to anyone? she asks pitifully. A rather annoyed Alf says he doesn't know - "Well, they were a bit upset about Ted dying!" he points out to a chastened Ivy.

In the Rovers, Reg strolls in and crudely demands "old-fashioned English hospitality... a drink, a clever quip and a warm smile" of Betty. She sharply asks if he is not aware that there's a funeral today. Without a trace of remorse Reg smirks that it was hardly unexpected, and he could see from the cut of Ted's jib that his relationship with Rita was doomed from the start! Betty and Bet are disgusted at his attitude.

Back at Rita's, Ted's family are the last to leave. They tell her that they will be around for a few days if she needs anything. She gives them Ted's solicitor's address and suggests they come to the reading of the will if they're still in town on Wednesday. They leave as Bet arrives. "What a nice family," comments Rita. Uh oh! SOPOD (Soap Opera Phrase of Doom!)

Rita goes on to have a moving chat with Bet about her and Ted. She tells Bet she feels lucky; she has nothing but happy memories with Ted, there wasn't time for things to go wrong. With Len, she says, she felt betrayed - there was no chance to say goodbye. That wasn't the way it was with Ted. And he went so peacefully! Neither of them expected that. Seeing that her words have moved Bet to tears, she tells her to save her tears. "We made each other happy. I'm glad I met him."

ronniecat

Roger Brooks: LESLIE SCHOFIELD Sarah Brooks: ZULEMA DENE Philip Brooks: NIGEL CARRINGTON
Written by PHIL WOODS Directed by CHARLES LAUDER

Wednesday (3438, Wednesday 16 September 1992)

This episode begins quietly enough, but quickly becomes rather explosive. At the Platt's, Gail and Martin talk about Nicky and how quickly he's growing up, while over the road, Vera is the veritable "white tornado," hoovering around Jack and making a huge fuss because Lisa is due home with the baby today. Jack comes up with the idea of giving a £5 note to baby Tommy, to start his new life, but he's secretive about where he's planning to get the money. When Vera learns that he wants to go to the betting shop, she implies that he'll be "homeless Jack," if she learns that Tommy's going to start life with earnings from gambling.

Don Brennan shows up at M.V.B. Motors and tells Kevin that he's adjusting nicely to his new leg. Kevin suspects he's looking for a deal on a car, but Don quickly tells him that his boss has arranged for him to have a new cab with an automatic shift.

Mavis, meanwhile, witters and worries about her friend Rita, knowing that she'll be meeting with the solicitor regarding Ted's Last Will and Testament. She sadly notes that "it's like closing a book on someone's life," but the ever pragmatic Derek simply sees the Will as an instrument that will leave Rita a very wealthy woman. Mavis expresses her shock and disdain for Derek's remark by calling him "mercenary" and "callous," noting that all the money in the world can't replace Ted.

At the Rover's Return, Jack does his best to sneak away from the pub, and even cites Lisa's and baby Tommy's coming home as an excuse, but Betty knows that Vera is picking them up, so kyboshes Jack's obvious plan to nick off to the betting shop.

Down the street, Lisa and the baby are already home. Lisa tries to persuade Vera to go back to work -- she can manage on her own -- but Vera won't hear of it. Jack arrives home unexpectedly, claiming he can't find his glasses, and after admiring the baby, he asks Lisa if she's been upstairs. Lisa realizes he's referring to the cot, and tells Jack she's very appreciative of all his work because it's a lovely place for Tommy to sleep. As Jack prepares to return to the pub, Vera reminds him that he came home to look for his glasses, but as it turns out, they're in the pocket of Jack's apron. He stops to kiss little Tommy goodbye, proudly proclaiming that he's "a little belter."

Rita, Ted's sister Sarah Brookes, her husband Philip, and their son Roger, congregate in the solicitor's office to hear the reading of Ted's Last Will and Testament. Mr. Halpern (the solicitor) gets straight to the point and begins reading the Will, which specifies that Ted's sister Sarah is to receive £2,000. Her husband interrupts the reading by angrily yelling that it isn't fair his wife should receive such a "small" sum, given all she'd done for Ted, causing the solicitor to ask him to please remain silent until the Will is read in its entirety. Mr. Halpern goes on to announce that Philip Brookes is to receive £l,000, as is Ted's nephew Roger. Ted has also set aside £500 for St. Joseph's Hospice. The balance of his estate is bequeathed to his dear wife, Rita. Bending forward in his chair, Philip sneers at Rita and sarcastically notes that "someone's done nicely... but if you think you're getting away with this, you have another think coming..."

Outraged by this show of contempt, the solicitor cautions Philip that the instructions in the Will were what Ted wanted, but Philip insists that his wife is entitled to more for looking after Ted when his first wife died. The solicitor explains that there are steps he can take if he wishes to contest the Will, and as Philip continues screaming invectives at Rita, his wife and son attempt to calm him and ask him to stop behaving so badly. A shaken Rita sadly remarks that she's happy Ted isn't around to see this sort of behaviour. "You haven't heard the last of this," is Philip's parting shot.

Back at the Rover's Return, Richard Willmore from Newton and Ridley orders a pint and asks to speak to Bet. Looking around the packed pub, Willmore asks how busy the place gets at lunch. Not knowing who he's speaking to, Jack goes on about slaving his guts out "to keep the boss in his clover." At a nearby table, Kevin tells Mike about seeing Don and "Mr. Scrooge" reminds Kevin that they're not a charity, so he doesn't want him giving Don any breaks if he's looking for a favour. Kevin justifiably rolls his eyes.

At school, Nicky and his pal come up against the same lads who gave them a hard time on the first day of school. This time, the older boys want a £1 a week, in exchange for "protecting" them. Ken happens upon this little confrontation, and sensing tension in the air, tells the older boys he'll see them after school. When he asks Nicky what was going on, Nicky refuses to tell him.

Bet greets Richard Willmore and ushers him into the living room for their meeting. He straightforwardly asks her if she's having any problems. Bet reminds him that she and Alec didn't have problems before selling the tenancy, so why should things be any different now. Willmore explains that the difference is that the Rover's Return is now the brewery's investment, so any problems that might arise could directly affect them. Bet also wonders if he's "checking up" on her, since she's on probation, but Willmore assures her that the brewery has confidence in her abilities.

Back at her flat, Rita tells Alf of the donneybrook that arose over the reading of Ted's Will. She sadly recounts that Ted's brother-in-law actually accused her of marrying Ted for his money. Alf is disgusted to hear this news, especially when Rita feels it necessary to assure him that she married Ted because she loved him. Alf suggests that she try to put all the nastiness behind her by taking a few days away from Weatherfield.

Over at the Cafe, Alma rests her chin on her hands and wonders out loud where she and Gail went wrong to end up in a cafe. She remembers her school days when she and her friends day-dreamed about becoming rich and famous, but can't remember any of them dreaming of working in a cafe. Gail sees it all as just the hard facts of life -- none of her pals became movie stars either. On the other hand, she reminds Alma that she can become a lady of leisure anytime she likes, since Mike is always hinting that he'd love for her to quit her job and stay at home.

Ken Barlow comes into the cafe, wanting a quiet word with Gail. They sit down at a table and Ken tells her of Nicky's problems with the older boys. He's concerned because Nicky refused to tell him what's going on. He has talked to the older boys and hopes that that will be the end of things, but in the meantime he wanted Gail to be aware that there were a few problems, just in case she notices a change in Nicky's behaviour or attitude.

Back at the Rover's Return, Betty asks Bet what's bothering her, and Bet explains that the place used to belong to her. Now all of it, lock, stock and barrel, belongs to the brewery. It's not a good feeling, and makes Bet realize that she doesn't have a lot of security. She tells Betty that she's forced to face facts now -- it's a whole new ballgame with Newton and Ridley owning the tenancy.

Home for his tea, Jack sits in a sulk at the table while Vera continues to iron clothes. He complains that all she does is fuss over the baby and Lisa while he goes hungry. Lisa comes into the room and looks upset that Vera is ironing her clothes, and while Vera insists that "it's nothing," there's a definite feeling that Lisa is becoming unhappy with Vera's constant fussing over her. Vera runs off to answer the door, and invites Ivy to come in and see the baby. Ivy oohs and aws over little Tommy, commenting on how happy he looks. "He's just been fed," is Jack's pointed rejoinder. He perks up considerably when Vera asks Ivy to stop for her tea, which she claims will be on the table in ten minutes, but his face falls when Vera announces that Jack will be running to the chippy for their meal.

Rita answers the intercom buzzer and is taken aback to hear Philip Brooke's voice. He announces that there's been a "development" with the Will, but reckons she doesn't want him to stand down on the street and let her neighbours hear of it, so Rita buzzes him in. Opening her door, she allows him only into the hall before informing him that that's as far as she'll allow him into her home. Philip tells her that he's sought legal advice and that he and Sarah will be contesting the Will. Rita reminds him that he has no grounds -- the Will was written when Ted was healthy -- but Philip calls her "evil" and "conniving," and implies once again that she married him only for his money. Angry and shaking, Rita tells him to get out.

Heather Morlan

Roger Brookes: NIGEL CARRINGTON Philip Brookes: LESLIE SCHOFIELD Sarah Brookes: ZULEMA DENE John Halpern: COLIN PROCKTER Richard Willmore: OLIVER BEAMISH Phil Saunders: FRANK LAUDER Billy Jarvis: KEVIN ARNOLD Mark Redman: CHRIS COOK
Written by BARRY HILL Directed by CHARLES LAUDER

Thursday (3439, Friday 18 September 1992)

It was a struggle to write this as every storyline it seemed was full of moaning, groaning and grumping!!! Cor! It was depressing to watch! But, the story must progress.

It's a typical family morning routine at Chez Platt - Nicky's doing his homework at the last minute, Martin's rushing to get out the door and Sally's arriving. Martin is walking Nicky to school and Gail sees her son off with a "No fighting" warning only to be replied to with a whine about it being someone else's fault. (I take it that Nick must have filled in the gaps that Ken vaguely outlined to Gail in the caff the other day because he never said that Nicky was fighting only that he suspected the older boys were bullying the younger ones. I do so hate it when the writers don't pay attention to what each other does!) Martin is apparently only walking Nick to school in order to spend a bit of extra time with him, or so Gail tells Sally with in incomprehensive attitude.

Vera and Ivy stock shelves at Bettabuys. Vera wants to have a shop at dinnertime but Ivy says she is busy though she doesn't say what and we never do find out. Vera happily chatters on about how young she feels having a baby in the house again. Ivy, who's face resembles a chewed boot today, grumps that it won't last, that feeling! Uh oh. Someone's got a bee in her bonnet!

Jack is grumpy too, about doing extra work now Alec's not there. Bet informs Jack and Betty that the brewery will not only be paying them by cheque instead of their usual cash packets but that they will only be paid once a month from next month on. Jack is less than impressed, having to make his wage packet last a month instead of (a week? Two weeks?) since we know he's always borrowing or trying to from Vee now!! Plus the fact that he doesn't' have a bank account which is quickly put to rest by Vera's suggestion that he just deposit into hers. You can imagine how that's going to go over. I guess Vera doesn't trust him to share a joint account? I probably wouldn't either LOL!

Andy is getting ready for university next week. In the Kabin, Derek tries to sell him a full supply of stationary supplies while Mavis wishes him well. After he leaves, Mavis and Derek muse about how unlikely it seemed a few years ago that one of the tearaway MacDonald lads would actually end up going to university. Roger Brookes arrives hoping to see Rita but she's away for a few day's rest. Roger had hoped to let Rita know that he doesn't agree with what his parents are doing, he doesn't think the will should be contested. Of course Mavis and Derek had no idea and score a point to a sheepish young man about saying things out of turn.

In the Rovers at dinnertime, Audrey and Phyllis chat sympathetically about Rita's loss and widowhood in general. Jack is long faced when Don arrives. Don tells Jack about his impending insurance settlement and new car and shows off a bright orange handicapped pass entitling him to all the good parking spots. Jack talks him into letting him borrow it until Don's car is ready. Now I wonder what he's up to ?

Sally and Lisa meet as they are out walking the babies. Sally admires Tom and offers Lisa a quiet haven from the in-laws should she ever need to get out of the house for a quiet half hour. Lisa's a bit down because Terry's in jail now that the baby's here. The next one Sally meets on her way is Ivy who isn't in any better mood than she was earlier. Sally doesn't help matters by wittering on about babies and grandchildren which seems to be one of Ivy's sore spots. Continuing on her way, Ivy encounters Don who's just come out of the pub but he manages to get away with only saying a few words to her, enough to let her know he's fine and Ivy sadly watches him walk away from her, aided by a cane and hobbling on his new foot.

Ivy pops into the pub to ask Jack about Don and poor Jack manages to put his foot in it by admitting Don's told him about the insurance and car etc. which Ivy knew nothing about. Ivy is in an even darker mood after that.

Audrey stops into the caf after a shopping spree. She's got some holiday brochures in tow as well but hasn't told Alf she's planning a trip for them. Percy has a grumble but does seem to make a point to Gail when he suggests a body must make time for one's family and if they don't , they've only themselves to blame. (So why is Gail all of a sudden acting like she's guilty? This from the person that's had lots of time with her husband lately courtesy of one Carmel Finnan. Writer lapse again I suspect!)

Back at the supermarket, Lisa arrives to drop off a shopping list to Vera. Reg bounces by to reassign Vera and rudely ignores the baby even when he is introduced to Vera's new grandson and daughter in law. He does an abrupt about face when he overhears Lisa's shopping list as now of course, Lisa is a paying customer, not just a visitor. The baby must have been asleep because he didn't scream when Reg coochie coo'ed over the carriage at him, a frightening event in my books! Reg even extols the virtues of the Bettabuys' baby products, the variety of which you wouldn't see at Alf Roberts' shop. Vera cackles that she also wouldn't get staff discount at Alf's. Reg sniffs, twitches and orders Vera over to cooked meats and wobbles off in an offended huff.

In Alf's shop, Jack is trying to open a credit account to help his wage packet last from month to month. Deirdre's refused him. So does Alf when he arrives only not so politely. Alf seems to be in a bad mood after his council meeting but ends up slagging off supermarkets like Bettabuys.

It's quitting time and Vera and Ivy are in the locker room gathering their things to go home. Vera is still clucking over Tommy and Lisa until Ivy snarls at her for all the non stop baby talk. This is like water rolling off a Duckworth's back as Vera realizes that's not really what's bothering Ivy. Vera sits Ivy down and drags it out of her and Ivy admits that she is feeling lonely and left out. Gail doesn't ask her to babysit anymore and she has to hear about her husband's news from Jack. Vera advises Ivy not to let it show, not do give Don the satisfaction of knowing it's all getting to her. Seems to give Ivy something to chew on.

Back to the pub, Bet tells Jack to pick up his long face lest he trip over it and not to take out his bad mood on her or the punters. Elsewhere Ken is chatting to Andy about university life. Andy is gloomy because he won't be with Paula but Ken thinks there are enough distractions and hard work at university without a girlfriend added to the mix. Vera drops in for a drink and worries about Ivy. Percy is telling Reg about a disgusting pub he went to the other night, hoping for a quiet drink with a friend. Turns out a female strip-o-grammer was there causing all sorts of ruckus, highly offending Percy who reckons that pub, the Black Dog on Grafton street caters to that sort of clientele. He was trying to warn Reg but Reg seemed very interested in confirming the location (not to avoid the place I suspect LOL, because he was nearly drooling all over his power tie!)

Across the road, Gail interrupts Martin's homework to spend a quiet half hour with him while they have the chance. She proposes that they spend a weekend away together, just the pair of them. She'll sort out the babysitting, what d'you think? Martin agrees happily.

At the pub, Richard Wilmore from the brewery arrives to see Bet. Jack is riding his militant high horse but Betty makes him keep his mouth shut. Bet asks Jack to make them a couple of drinks and takes her boss to the back. He is there to impart two things. One has to do with a new computerized till that will keep track of every transaction and even make the re-ordering automatic. She thinks the staff will not like it much but no matter. The other thing is more serious and Jack overhears the two of them arguing as he brings the drinks through. According to the brewery number crunchers, the pub is overstaffed and one person must go!

Diane Johnston

Roger Brookes: NIGEL CARRINGTON Richard Wilmore: OLIVER BEAMISH
Written by BARRY HILL Directed by BRAIN MILLS

Friday (3440, Monday 21 September 1992)

The Duckworths are on separate wavelengths this morning. As Vera readies herself for work, she instructs Jack to make sure he gets "R Lisa" a decent breakfast when she gets up. The poor girl didn't get much rest through the night with "R Tommy" waking up. Jack moans that she isn't the only one. Anyway, he's far more concerned with the business of the brewery directing Bet to cut down on staff. "Just you make sure it isn't you!" Vera retorts. Jack snaps back that he can't do that since Bet is "One of you - a woman!" (and therefore illogical? unpredictable?)...

Changing gears, Vera reminds him that he's to take her shopping when she gets off work this afternoon. She wants to see about getting a highchair for R Tommy. Jack points out that young Tommy hasn't much use for a highchair but Vera takes no heed, reasoning that he will need one "eventually". Jack reasons that *he* will need a walking stick, "eventually" but he doesn't see the point in rushing out to buy one today!

As the Platts start through their morning routine, they discuss the idea of getting away together for a few days without the kids. Gail thinks the hard part will be persuading Ivy to step in but says she'll tackle her this evening. The prospect of getting away for a time is obviously one they both look forward to, all the more so when Nicky and Sarah Louise start bickering over something trivial.

With Rosie in tow, Sally stops in the Kabin on her way over to Gail's. As she explains to Mavis, she wants to look through the Gazette for some safety gates. Now that she's got her registration as a child-minder, she's thinking of taking in a couple more kiddies. Holding his peace in Sally's presence, once she leaves, Derek complains bitterly to Mavis about the prospect of having a day nursery across the road. Mavis can't see a problem - surely he likes children? But Derek feels that children, like adults, can be either "saints" or "villains", and are *not* distinctly wonderful by virtue of their being children! (Don't tell anyone but I agree with him on this score! LOL) Mavis argues that surely all *babies* are sweet but Derek counters by posing the question of whether Adolf Hitler was a "sweet" baby. In disgust, Mavis answers that he probably was, "...until his mother overindulged him - leaving him for some other poor woman to contend with!"

As Betty and Bet sip their cups of tea before opening, Jack arrives and announces he'll pass on the tea in favour of starting work sharpish. Surprised by his uncharacteristic fervor, Bet merely listens as he continues to convince her (in his transparent way) how invaluable an asset he is in her employ. Jack expounds on the many tasks that require a *man* around, emphasizing his willingness to be at her beck and call. When he finally wraps it up and starts in on his day's work, Betty looks to Bet inquiringly. Bet tells her she's given up trying to figure Jack out but he's definitely "up to summat". She admits she rather enjoys his pathetic performances, though. "A bit like watching stone age man invent the wheel... If it had been up to Jacko they'd all be square!"

In the Corner Shop, Lisa glories in the attentions being lavished on little Tommy by Audreh and Deirdre. Alf keeps his distance from the baby, commenting only that the good thing about other folk's kiddies is that you can hand them back! In talking about her stay with the Duckworths, Lisa lets slip that Jack is worried about his job now that the brewery's instructed Bet to cut down on staff. Audreh expresses surprise but Alf seems to think it's to be expected, business being down as it is these days.

Percy is one of the first customers of the day in the pub and as Bet goes to serve him, Jack rushes up to do it for her. She comments that pulling half a pint is "hardly a chest expanding job" but Jack insists that he should do the work, leaving her, as the "captain" free "to sail the ship". Percy doesn't much care who serves him, as long as he gets his ale before time is called!

In the Cafe, Andy and Paula discuss their respective plans for school. She's concerned that she won't meet her expenses unless she takes on part-time work. Andy worries that if she's working weekends, they'll never get to see each other, since he'll be at Sheffield while she is at Manchester University.

Back at the Rovers, Phyllis mentions to Percy young Andy's plans to go to Sheffield. This reminds Percy that the 50th anniversary of El Alamein is at hand... "That's where I got *my* education!" he blusters.

Audreh and Alf come into the pub for lunch and Audreh casually mentions to Betty that she must be worried since the brewery has deemed there will be redundancies. Of course, Betty knows nothing about it and her confusion is only increased as Jack pitches in to try to divert the conversation. But Bet has already overheard and steps forward to ask Audreh to continue. Audreh reveals that according to Lisa, the brewery says someone will be losing their job. As Bet turns to confront Jack, he casts around for a hiding place but finding none, turns to face the music: "A word, Jacko, in the back - NOW!"

Ivy pops in to the cafe, not for lunch as Gail supposes, but on another matter. Awkwardly, she fumbles for words before informing Gail somewhat defensively that she would like for her and Martin to "bear in mind" that she is always available for baby-sitting. Gail is delighted to hear it and tells Ivy she was planning to come and see her tonight on that very subject. Now Ivy is delighted too, but Gail cautions her that she may not be so when she hears what she has to ask. But, lo and behold, when she tells her the plan, Ivy couldn't be happier. Of course she'll baby-sit while Gail and Martin go away. No, of course she doesn't think it will be "too much"!

Inches from Jack's ear, Bet leans over him for the grilling: "Have you got a girlfriend working in the manager's office? Is that how you found out?" Bet demands. Trembling, Jack admits that he overheard Richard Willmore yesterday when he came to see Bet. "Overheard? On your hands and knees listening at the keyhole more like!" she snaps. Setting out to bring the focus back to his aim, i.e., reminding Bet how indispensable a *man* is around the place, Jack tells her that he admires her ability to make making "tough decisions" - the fact that she can "leave emotion out" of (the decision making process). "Who says I'll leave emotion out of it?!" she demands. Noting that he leaves himself off his own list of possible redundancies, and taking into account his assertion that she "needs a *man* about the place", Bet finishes him off. "Jacko, have you ever heard the expression, 'A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle'?" Nowhere to go but up, Jack answers meekly that yes, he has heard it and he can only agree with the truth of it! (ROFL)

Taking a break from slaving for Bettabuys, Vera and Ivy stand chatting about their grandkiddies. They are interrupted by Reg who demands to know if children are the only subject they ever discuss. "What else would you like us to talk about?" asks Ivy unwittingly. Reg eagerly informs them their time might be better spent discussing the "price of fish, the merits of cling film, or the psychology of special offers", in general, what he terms, "the romance of the grocery business"! Vera and Ivy exchange knowing looks before Vera asks him pointedly about the fact that he never had children. "None that I know of!" he quips. Turning serious, he muses that he often felt it his "duty" to bestow his genes on a new generation, "replenish the pool with the dynamics of management - by which Britain lives or dies". Pausing to reflect, he laments that barring the involvement of a fertility clinic, alas - he is the "last of the Holdsworths". As he turns to go on his way, convinced of the irony of his ultimate disservice to mankind, Vera whispers to Ivy, "It's a pity his father couldn't say the same!"

Over tea in the parlor, Bet tells Betty to calm down, that it wasn't her intention that she find out from across the bar about the brewery's directive. Pacified when she hears how Jack came to have the information, Betty relents that she saw it coming when Alec left anyway. She admits that when it comes down to it, she doesn't need the job as much as Jack, or even Raquel, so she'll understand if Bet chooses to let her go. Bet says she doesn't want to sack any of them but it's just that sort of "guts" that makes her want to keep Betty on all the more.

As Jack pulls up to park in front of a fire exit, he chastises Vera for intending to blow her brass (at least £50 of it) on a highchair for young Tommy. She doesn't see that he has anything to say on the subject, it's her money and he's only there to fetch for her. Noticing for the first time his chosen parking spot, she tells him there's a carpark around the corner, that if he stays here, he'll get "done for". Jack produces the disabled sticker that he borrowed off Don and proudly places it in the window of the car, announcing his intent to Photostat it so that he won't ever have to pay parking fees again! "See Vera - there's the difference between you and me... You're looking for ways to *spend* money, while I'm busy finding ways to *save* it!"

As Derek sorts through the evening papers, Mavis laments the ironic fate of a woman just leaving the shop, "Hard to believe she used to win ballroom dancing competitions when now she can hardly bend her knees to go up the steps without crying out in pain". Finding Derek paying no attention to her comments, she accuses him of sulking. He denies the charge, he's only marking the papers and thinking of his future - "or lack of one!" Derek reasons that now that Rita doesn't have Ted, she'll want to come back to work in the Kabin. "Once she makes that decision, I'll be surplus to requirements", he says pityingly. Mavis tells him that something is bound to turn up but he grimly reminds her that her own position might be less than solid when Rita returns. "But she made *me* the manager", Mavis protests. "Ah - and when the owner and the manager don't agree, who do you think makes the decision?" he asks knowingly.

Jack rounds the corner from the shop loaded down with a brand new high chair to find a young police constable studying his car and more to the point, where it's parked. Thinking quickly, Jack continues over to where the officer is standing with a pronounced hobble. When the officer points out that a handicapped sticker does not entitle him to park wherever he pleases, Jack defends himself with the excuse that "when the pain strikes I can't think straight!" The officer reluctantly agrees to excuse the infraction but Jack can't leave well enough alone. "I had to have my foot off, you see. Sometimes, I can feel the pain shooting through every toe..." In sympathy, the constable offers to carry the high chair for him but Jack protests that having something to grip onto "helps ease the pain."

Bet's plight is the topic of conversation between Alf and Deirdre in the Corner Shop. Alf confirms that what Lisa said earlier seems to be true enough, Bet will have to sack one of her employees. Bet herself enters the shop and Alf offers an apology for the embarrassment caused by Audreh. Bet says she doesn't blame Audreh, she just wishes it weren't true. As Deirdre and Alf sympathise, Bet continues with a note of irony, "I don't *want* to sack any of them, but in Jack Duckworth's case I could be tempted!"

Vera comes around the corner from the store just as Jack and the officer reach the car. Assuming there's trouble, she starts shouting for the officer to stop "picking on" Jack. Panicking lest his fraud be exposed, Jack informs her in exaggerated tones that the officer was only helping him, "With my *disability* - me being a *disabled* driver - having had my *foot* off..." She finally catches on and chuckles her understanding but by now the constable's suspicions are aroused. "Which foot was it that you had cut off?" he asks with a raised eyebrow. After a second's stammering, Jack and Vera answer in unison, each giving a different answer. "Oh, so you've had *both* feet cut off?" asks the officer. "Well you see, my left is her right - from where she's standing like..." Jack offers helplessly. Too late, the constable is having none of it. Bending down he slips up one pant leg, then the other to have a look. Commenting on how natural the "fake" foot looks, "just like the other", he slowly stands up again to face Jack. As he reaches for his ticket book, the officer accuses Jack of not having a handicap at all. "No? What do you think *she* is?" he mutters under his breath. Ignoring the barb, the officer inquires, "Name?" Vera answers in disgust, "Duckworth - his name's Duckworth - but we're thinking of changing it to Pillock!"

Anita Bélanger

PC Goldman: PAUL LAUGHRAN
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by BRIAN MILLS


Originally transmitted: 23, 25, 28 & 30 September; 2 October 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 20 - Friday 24 December 1999
Episode Numbers: 3441 - 3445

Monday (3441, Wednesday 23 September 1992)

Sorry this is a bit late but I've been feeling wretched all week with the flu. Lovely time to get it and be on medication, right at Christmas but there you are. As a result the update will be short and to the point.

Ivy is convinced by Vera to go talk to Don but she's shocked when she gets there to be told by the landlady that he's moved out into a flat of his own. Ivy is unsuccessful at prising the address out of Mrs. Wentworth who finally, awkwardly, admits Don specifically didn't want Ivy to know. Crushed and humiliated she retreats. She goes to the pub in the evening and gets absolutely legless. Gail and Martin, who are in for a quick drink courtesy of Carmel have to help her home. This doesn't bode well for her looking after the kiddies for the weekend, I'll just bet!

Bet double checks her sums. The brewery says if salaries are less than 9% of revenue then she doesn't have to sack anyone and by her figures they are. She has her friend Stella Rigby check her additions for her and it's confirmed. But Stella also advises Bet that she can't take on the brewery who wouldn't take well to be proven wrong, smugly pointing out that Bet is on probation and only a manager, not a tenant anymore. Back at the Rovers later Bet mulls over what to do and finally decides to take on Richard Wilmore and the Brewery anyway, and if they sack anyone, it might as well be her!

Vera gives Jack and ear bashing because Lisa has to wash out the pram which is kept in the back yard. (pigeon feathers etc.) Jack also comes under the line of fire because he knows where Don has moved, or the general neighbourhood at least and didn't tell anyone. "You didn't ask!" Vera continues on to the next level and "strongly urges" Jack to pay that parking ticket that he received for falsely using Don's disabled sticker (it was more for parking in front of a fire exit actually!) Poor Jack! He spends much of the day trying to think and scheme his way out of paying the ticket.

Phyllis invites Lisa to sun the baby in Des's back garden because she can't use the Duckworth's yard due to the pigeons and has to walk the baby down to the park every day. The two women share a cup of tea and a bit of Barnes history with Mavis over the back fence. Phyllis mentions it in the corner shop to Deirdre and Audrey and untactfully expresses her sympathy for the poor fatherless baby, after all any father is better than no father at all. Audrey sanctimoniously points out the gaffe as Deirdre is a single mother. Phyllis, God bless her, just returns "Then she'll know what I mean" and takes Audrey down a peg or two smoothly in the process, reminding Audrey that she too brought up Gail without a father and look at her! Gail isn't the sweetest soul now is she?

Later in the pub Phyllis mentions her visitor to Des who doesn't mind at all that Lisa was using the garden.

That's yer lot, short and sweet.

Diane Johnston

Stella Rigby: VIVIENNE ROSS Eileen Wentworth: LOTTIE WARD
Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Tuesday (3442, Friday 25 September 1992)

Kimberley and Curly are on their way home from their Cornwall holiday, and Kimberley is making Curly pull over every fifteen minutes so she can be sick. Curly is already two hours late for work on his first day back after hols, and he is less than sympathetic to Kimberley's misery. He chastises her for being a hypochondriac throughout their whole holiday. She replies that she's "too weak to argue". When Curly finally does reach Weatherfield, Reg could care less about his excuses and gives him a good tongue-banging about how everyone would like to saunter in late on their first day after holidays.

When Curly arrives home after work, he is still annoyed with Kim, who's spent the day on the sofa. A letter has arrived from the dating agency, who still have him on their books, setting him up with two potential blind dates. He cruelly tells Kimberley that he'd much rather spend time with either of them; they couldn't possibly be as boring as her! Later, after Kimberley has left, Curly shares a cup of tea and his angst with Angie. He likes Kimberley, but when they're together she annoys him, and he's horrible to her - he knows he is. But he likes her! And then there's Mummy and Daddy Taylor - he pleads for Angie's help as he envisions a future of hernia discussions, tours of the greenhouse, and on special occasions a small glass of sweet sherry and a paper hat... and just growing older and older! Sounds like Curly has some serious re-thinking to do.

A big day at the Rovers, where the new computerized till is being installed and where Bet is going to have a showdown over staff salaries (and potential cutbacks) with the brewery rep. She tell the staff that a position is in jepoardy and that she's going to try to save the position, and urges them that when the brewery rep arrives, don't grovel, but do be polite. Just then Richard Wilmore arrives and Jack grovels like some poor stray dog. Bet takes Mr. Wilmore through to the back as a techie, John Chamber, completely baffles Raquel, Betty and Jack with the wonders of the new online cash register which reports directly to Newton & Ridley ("Big Brother is watching you," Jack says ominously).

In the back, Mr. Wilmore tells a shocked Bet that not one, but two staff must go. Bet presents her case. She admits she may be wading into an area she knows little about, but asks him to confirm or clarify her calculations. They said staff had to be less than 9% of expenses (or was it profits? now I can't remember and the tape's at home. oh well...) - she shows him her staff salary list and says that she can only account for 8% of her expenses being wages. That may be true, says Mr. Wilmore, but that's because there are two staff missing from her list - H. Ogden and A. Freeman! Once their wages are accounted for she's above the 9% mark. A surprised Bet tells him that Hilda Ogden hasn't worked there for years, and Angie Freeman not for months! He says that according to the books, Alec has been paying them wages until the day he left!

Bet and Mr. Wilmore try to figure out what's going on. It was the sort of thing publicans used to do in the old days, says Wilmore, when the brewery paid the staff cash - invent a fictitious bartender or two and pocket the salaries. But as Alec was paying the wages, the only person he'd be cheating was himself. They are both puzzled, unless... Mr. Wilmore says that perhaps Alec was trying to cheat the Inland Revenue. More wages mean less profit; less profit mean less taxation. He'll have to look into it further, but he hopes for Alec's sake that's not what was going on!

As Mr. Wilmore leaves, Bet goes out to tell the staff their positions are secure (now that the two fictitious salaries are on the books no more). They are jubilant, but Betty senses that something's not right. "Alec's been fiddling the books," Bet intimates to her. "We'll be hearing more about this." Then, as strong as ever, she puts her most cheerful smile on and joins the cheerful staff as they try to figure out the wonders of the new cash system.

Rita comes by t'Rovers later. She is back from her own trip which was designed to help her recover from Ted's death, but her homecoming has been spoiled by a letter from the Brookes' solicitor. They intend to continue with contesting the will. She accepts a cup of tea from Bet and says that she thinks perhaps Philip and the others have a point - they were Ted's family. Bet says firmly that Rita was Ted's wife, he loved her and he wanted her to have what he left her. She also confides to Rita that Alec was "on the fiddle".

Gail and Martin have spent the day worrying about and/or arguing about Ivy. Martin reckons she's a "textbook case" - her husband died, her son was murdered, her second husband's left her, and she hits the bottle. When it comes to whether she is able to care for the Platt kids, they both seem to be arguing both sides of the coin, alternately arguing with each other that she can't be kept away from her own grandkids and then arguing with each other that if she's drinking too much she's not safe. Gail says she will go see Ivy just to see how she is, and that's just what she does late in the day.

Ivy is glad to see her and is so excited about caring for the kiddies. She pretends that she was sick at the Rover's the other night - some bad seafood, maybe - and lets it slip that she didn't remember that Gail and Martin took her home. When Gail reminds her, she embarrassedly pretends that she just forgot for a moment. Gail gently says that Ivy's had a hard time of it lately, she's been under a lot of stress. She's not blaming Ivy... Ivy, realizing what Gail is saying, indignantly cries "Are you saying I was drunk?!" and orders Gail out of the house. Gail says she just needs to know that Ivy is up to taking care of the kids. "I'm better able to look after them than you are!" says a furious Ivy. As if coming to a sudden realization, she adds that she knows what this is all about - Gail's finally found a way to keep her away from the kids! Gail has been looking for a way, claims Ivy, ever since she "got rid of Brian". This accusation clearly hurts Gail, but Ivy is on a roll. Gail will "say I'm a drunk," Ivy claims. She orders Gail out again and this time stands and holds the door open for her. As Gail leaves, she reminds Ivy that Ivy was the one who said she was a drunk - not Gail. The words came out of Ivy's mouth, she says. She walks out, leavinig a shattered Ivy clinging to the door.

ronniecat

Richard Wilmore: OLIVER BEAMISH John Chamber: JOHN CHILWELL
Written by STEPHEN MALLATRATT Directed by HOWARD BAKER

Wednesday (3443, Monday 28 September 1992)

The episode opens at the Rover's Return, where Betty is looking at Raquel's vacation photographs with Jack grumbling in the background about being the only one working. Since he hasn't shown any interest in Raquel's pictures, she asks Betty to help her trick Jack by saying "isn't it shocking" everytime she looks at a photo. Their little joke is stalled for a few moments when Bet appears with their paycheques. Jack, of course, is very disgruntled by this new method of receiving his wages, and Bet tells him to open a bank account. She even points out that Vera already has an account, so can easily cash the cheque for Jack. For obvious reasons, Jack wants none of that!

As Bet disappears into the back of the pub, Raquel produces more pictures and prompts Betty to disapprove of each snap. Betty complies by supplying many "tut tut's" or "I think that's shocking," and her remarks have the desired effect. Jack earwigs with great interest while Raquel goes on about the topless beach she visited. When Jack asks to see the pictures, Raquel refuses on the grounds that he wasn't interested in them before.

Over at the Cafe, Gail and Alma discuss Gail's conundrum. Gail isn't comfortable with the idea of leaving the kids in Ivy's care while she and Martin get away for a few days, but Alma tries to be sympathetic by viewing Ivy's drinking as a form of consolation after all she's been through. At a table nearby, Paula tells Andy about the new flat she's found near college while Andy moans about being separated from her once school begins.

Martin arrives at the Cafe and asks Gail what she would think about Carmel staying with the kids while they go away. It's clear that Carmel enjoys being with their kids, but Gail thinks that asking her to mind them day and night would be an imposition.

At Bettabuys, Vera is chuffed that Lisa has brought Tommy to the store, and she happily cuddles her grandson while Lisa remarks to Ivy that Terry hasn't seen his son yet. She's planning to take Tommy to the prison that day, and wonders if they'll have a room for changing babies while Vera wonders if she can take pictures. Reg Holdsworth arrives on the scene and expresses his usual impatience with Vera's skiving. As Vera and Lisa head off to the staff room to change the baby's nappy, Reg unwittingly remarks to Ivy that at least she doesn't have family dropping in at the store all hours. He's nonplused when Ivy bursts into tears, saying that at least Vera gets to see her grandson -- "I'm not fit to see my own grandkids" she quips tearfully.

In a sudden shift of scenes, we next see Reg at the Rover's Return. Jack takes him aside and tells him he'll get a real eyefull if he asks Raquel if he can see her vacation snaps.

At the back of the pub, Bet complains to Betty that her hands are swollen -- she can't get her wedding band off. Staring at the stubborn band, Bet begins reminiscing about her younger days, when Annie Walker gave her a job at the pub, and running off to Tenerife with Alec in hot pursuit. She's amazed now that Alec ever thought she could give all that up so easily.

Meanwhile, at a table on the other side of the wall, Rita tells Mavis that Roger Brookes came by to see her over the Will. A meeting has been organized between Rita and the Brookes family, and Rita makes it clear to Mavis that she wants a quick resolution to their grievances. Mavis offers to have Derek available for the meeting, but Rita declines.

At the bar, Reg compliments Raquel's tan, and pretending that he may visit the same area in the future, asks for a look at her holiday photos. Raquel promises the pictures when she has a moment.

Down the street, Kimberley's father has arrived at Curly's home. His first cryptic remark is that Curly has "put the cat among the pigeons" -- "metaphorically speaking, that is." Curly offers him a chair, but Mr. Taylor declines on the grounds that it's very difficult to get up again with his..... problem. Mind you, his new truss has worked wonders, and he's even able to bowl again. "Good, good, good," is Curly's effusive response, obviously wondering though when Mr. Taylor is going to get to the point. Finally, while twiddling with and sucking on his unlit pipe, Mr. Taylor offers that it's "bad" at his house. "Tears and tragedy," he comments "... and she won't even finish her tea."

Back at the Rover's Return, an outraged Vera tells Betty that when she tried to get a picture of Terry holding his son, the prison guards confiscated her camera and even accused her of trying to get inside shots of the prison!

At Rita's flat, graver matters are being discussed. Sarah Brookes apologises and tells Rita that she's sorry they all got off on the wrong foot. Philip says he feels the same way -- he was only upset because he felt Sarah has a larger claim on Ted's estate. Roger reminds Rita that it was his mom who cared for Ted when he was ill the first time, and it was then that Ted promised his sister that everything would go to her on his death. Rita points out that saying something is hardly the same as a written Will, causing Philip to wonder if Ted's illness ultimately affected his brain. Obviously stressed by the awkwardness of the situation, Rita expresses her feelings that an agreement can be reached without taking the issue to court.

Raquel, meanwhile, retrieves the pictures for Reg, but before handing them over, she makes him promise not to describe them to Jack. When Reg agrees, Raquel gives him the pictures, and a gleeful Reg quickly shuffles through the photos, obviously looking for nudity. His disappointment is palpable, and he comments that they're "nice" before handing them back. "Not as nice as Jack thinks" giggles Raquel. Reg finally understands the joke, and laughingly tells Raquel that she's "cunning and cruel -- a tormentor of men."

Mr. Taylor is still at Curly's, and having heard him out, Curly is at odds about what Mr. Taylor wants him to do. "Do nothing," is Mr. Taylor's sage advice. "Women think the crisis is better than going to the pictures," he advises Curly, so it's just "business as usual."

As negotiations deepen, Rita advises Philip that she can sell Ted's house at any time, and he agrees that she should put the house on the market and then discuss with Sarah how the proceeds should be divided. After all, the house was promised to Sarah by Ted. Rita assures Philip that Ted's wishes are important to her, but she's not sure that this is the best time to sell. Switching tactics, Philip returns again to the issue of contesting the Will on health grounds. He even wonders if Ted was "all there" when he decided to marry Rita. Greatly offended by this notion, Rita wonders how anyone could question Ted's judgement when they were wed, but Philip knows he had a "turn" that day and had to go to the hospital. Smelling a rat, Rita asks how they could possibly know that, since they weren't told, but before Philip can answer, she susses that he's been "snooping around" in Ted's medical records. Disgusted by his tactics, she asks them all to leave.

Not surprisingly, Carmel is once again visiting the Platts, and while she endears herself to the children, Gail tells her that their would-be holiday may very well be off. As Sarah-Louise parks herself beside Carmel with a story book, Gail confides that Ivy can't babysit the kids and that asking her own mother to do the job is out of the question. Carmel jumps at the opportunity and explains that she'd be happy to take on the task. The kids all agree this is a great idea, so when Martin appears a few moments later, the arrangement is completed.

Over at the Rover's Return, Reg tells Jack that he's seen the pictures, but can't give any details as per Raquel's wishes. Curly tells Angie that he felt like a character in "Gone with the Wind" when Mr. Taylor visited, but he has agreed to go round to the Taylor's for his tea the following day. Aghast at Curly's acceptance, Angie reminds him that he found Kimberley boring and wanted to end the relationship. She also reminds him of how the movie ended, with those famous words, "frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

Frustrated by being forbidden to look at Raquel's snapshots, Jack grabs them and hands a few to each male patron at the bar. Flipping through the balance in his hand, his eager anticipation quickly turns to disappointment -- although Curly does find a bit of nudity in a picture of a bare-chested man. As the patrons laugh, Jack indignantly calls Reg Holdsworth "a liar." Bet advises him to get down the cellar to hide his face, while Betty suggests he not come back until the egg is off it.

As the punters enjoy the joke at Jack's expense, Bet holds her hand up and waves her fingers at Betty -- the wedding band is gone. With a huge smile on her face, she remarks that she's never putting it back on.

Heather Morlan

Roger Brookes: NIGEL CARRINGTON Philip Brookes: LESLIE SCHOFIELD Sarah Brookes: ZULEMA DENE Mr. Taylor: JOHN JARDINE
Written by JULIAN ROACH Directed by HOWARD BAKER

Thursday (3444, Wednesday 30 September 1992)

We start with a peek in Lisa's journal of Thomas Duckworth's first year.

Oh God, I wish Jack would just shurrup about that flamin' pay cheque. He's a wonderful man but really, he's getting obsessed and it only causes Vera to shout at him even more than usual. He doesn't want Vera to know how much he earns, so he says. I get the feeling that they've both kept a secret or two from each other over the years. Terry and I will never do that. We'll always be honest with each other and share everything once he's out of Strangeways and we can get our own little house and raise our family together. Honestly, Jack and Vera have been absolutely wonderful to me and Tom but I wish he would just open up his own bank account. It's not that big a deal but no, he has to go around mithering everyone to cash his cheque for him, including that nice Des Barnes.

Now there's a nice man. He says I can keep using his garden to sun RTom any time, even when he's at work. It's really nice of him. Between the baby not sleeping the night and Jack and Vera arguing all the time, it's so nice to have a bit of peace and quiet for an hour or two. He did startle me today when he came home from work early but insisted I stay on. He even went out for a takeaway for us tea and it were really nice just having someone my own age to talk to. Tom only cried once and of course it had to be when Mr. and Mrs. Wilton were in their garden. I think Mr. Wilton was flustered but that nice Mrs. Wilton was really nice and understanding. Oh that Des does make me laugh though with his funny stories!

Gail's notes on the fridge: I do like that Carmel even though I do feel a bit guilty like we're taking advantage of her good nature. Them kids *can* be a handful but they do seem to like her and she does seem very responsible for only 18. There was Andy Macdonald and his girlfriend Paula in the caff earlier today too, just 18 the pair of them and off to university today. Oh to be 18 and have endless possibilities ahead of you again! I'm sure their parents will have a lecture for them before they go, about being careful. On second thought, I don't know as I'd want to do it all over again, not the way the world is now! I overheard them making plans for Paula to see him off at the train to Sheffield later today. Good luck to the pair of them!

Anyway, it's nice that me and Martin can spend a bit more time together and I'm really looking forward to this weekend away! It wouldn't have happened without Carmel, she's really been a Godsend! Especially now that it looks as if Ivy was going off the rails! I just can't trust that she won't do it again while minding my children! Martin thought I should at least try to make peace with her but when I went over all I got was a door slammed in my face for my trouble. Bitter Cow! Well if that's how she wants it, then it's all up to her! We left the kids in Carmel's capable hands and drove away. Broke my heart a bit to hear David cry to see us go but he'll soon get over that. Martin mentioned that he saw Ivy's curtains twitch as we drove away. I have no sympathy!

Derek's Executive Day planner: Apparently the Brewery has installed a computerized till in the pub. Poor Raquel does seem intimidated by it so I offered to extend the hand of friendship and help her get the hang. Lovely girl, Raquel. I don't understand why Mavis seems to get jealous when I was only being neighbourly. It's what anyone would do who had executive experience in these sorts of things. If I had a £1 for every time I had to impart my wisdom on such business type processes, I'd be a very rich man instead of one in a subordinate sales position to his wife. Well no position at all really, and when Rita comes back to the shop I'll be out on my year like yesterday's used newspaper.

Anyway, I decided I needed to appease Mavis and prepared a lovely meal of lasagna, green salad and lemon mousse. I set the table outside in the peaceful sanctuary of our garden so that we could dine al fresco. Mavis was pleased, too, but just as we sat down to enjoy a pre-dinner glass of apéritif, the howling of an infant shattered our tranquility. There was Vera Duckworth's daughter-in-law in Desmond's garden with that infernal child squalling and would she do anything about it? Very inconsiderate, I must say. And the lasagna was just done to perfection too!

From the pages of Rita Littlewood Fairclough Sullivan: Damn! I nicked me finger on the bread knife and d'you think I could lay me 'ands on that box of plasters I know I had? 'Eck as like! Anyway I nipped down to t'shop for one. Mavis dug one out of somewhere but she wanted to talk about the meeting I had with Ted's 'orrible family and I just wasn't up to discussing it just then so I made tracks back up them stairs.

I did have a nice visit from Bet later this aft though. Eee what a good mate she is! Here she's been having her troubles what with Alec leaving and all and she's still concerned about me. I spilled my guts and told her all about Ted's family wanting to contest the will. The thing that really bothers me isn't the money, it's the nasty insinuations. They'll have Ted made out to be half out of his wits and me the scarlet woman out for his brass! They as much as called me a gold digger to me face!!! Bet, bless her, always knows the right thing to say though and made me realize that I'd made Ted happy when he thought there were nowt left for him but despair!

Journal of Norman (Curly) Watts: Raquel thinks me and Kimberly were made for each other. Peas in a pod, she said. Well, what does that say about me then? Honestly, Kimberly's not that bad and I do think we're well matched. Even if she isn't as passionate as I'd like. Well. Not at all really. But what would you expect, being brought up by a mother like hers? Anyway, There's more to a relationship than sex, right? And we'll just have to avoid lengthy automobile journeys. (Really, though she might have told me she was prone to carsickness!) I did admit to Raquel that I might be having second thoughts. But on the other hand, having a wife would be good for my career. Raquel seems to think there ought to be more romance to this. And maybe there should. But I'm a complete waste when it comes to dating and it's a jungle out there I don't mind saying! Kimberly's here and available and she wants to marry me. I best take what I have while I have it.

So I took a bunch of Flowers over to Kimberly after tea and apologized for being horrible to her. Delicate tummy says her mother, "Just like her mummy". That'll be the day! Her mummy could chew broken glass and it'd not upset her tummy! There was one dicey moment when Randolph let slip that he'd been to see me the other day for a man to man chat (at least I think that's what it was supposed to be, I'm still a bit vague) I thought Brenda was going to explode but I was able to smooth things over using my managerial skills and well, she didn't want to lose face did she? I had to hold back a smile at the look on Randolph's face, totally flummoxed he was that he hadn't been banished to the green house for his transgression , overstepping her authority and all that! Maybe there's hope for him yet! They left us alone so we could make up and I guess I am firmly on the road to matrimonial.. er..bliss. Well it would be if she didn't have that mother of hers. And what do you think she said to me, Kimberly? She wants our marriage to be just like Mummy and Daddy's! I don't mind saying, the hairs stood up on the back of my neck at that prospect!

Diane Johnston

Paula Maxwell JUDY BROOKE
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by HOWARD BAKER

Friday (3445, Friday 2 October 1992)


Originally transmitted: 5, 7, 9, 12 & 14 October 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 27 - Friday 31 December 1999
Episode Numbers: 3446 - 3450

Monday (3446, Monday 5 October 1992)

Jack now has his very own shiny new bank account with money in it and everything. Only he can't withdraw any until the bank sends him the chequebook which is terribly inefficient. Every bank I've ever dealt with gives you your passbook or chequebook as soon as you open the account. Talk about a no-frills bank! But I digress. . . Anyway, Ivy arrives, looking pretty rough but it's an hour before they are due to leave for work and Vera is still in her dressing gown. Ivy gets confused and after Jack tries to borrow some cash from her until his chequebook arrives, she leaves. Vera is very worried about her friend who was obviously hungover and gets angry at Jack for with-holding Don's new address, even resorting to bribery, offering to sub Jack some money if he gives it over. But at this point, loyalty wins out and Jack keeps it to himself.

Raquel helps Lisa pick out a card in the Kabin to use as notepaper to send her letter to Terry on. She seems to be having trouble finding enough words to fill up the page and thinks a card will make it look like two pages. Raquel wonders if Lisa's told Terry about her and Des, implying there's more to it than just sunning the baby in the garden. Rita comes though and tells Mavis she's going to Ted's house to start sorting things out. Mavis offers to go with her as it's her first visit but Rita wants to go alone and makes arrangements to meet Mavis at dinnertime in the Rovers instead. And Bang/zoom instantly we are transported into Ted's house where Rita is drawing the curtains to let in the light and thoughtfully examining a lovely games table with chess pieces in a drawer.

Back in the Kabin, Angie is in and telling the Wilton's that she is having a business lunch but it isn't anywhere fancy. Mavis is worried about Rita as she's late coming back and would Derek mind if she just nipped over to Ted's to check up on her friend? Well yes, actually he would mind, very much, Derek sulks. Too bad, Mavis is going anyway. I think all this manager stuff is going to Mave's head!

At dinner in the Rovers, Vera tries unsuccessfully to steer Ivy away from the bar although Ivy insists she's not about to stick a straw in the beer barrel and goes along with Vera who orders an orange juice. Ivy takes the drinks to a table while Vera has a word first with Raquel who again seems to stick her foot in it by implying that Terry might think there's more to Lisa's friendship with Des. Well that's how Vera takes it and objects strenuously. Jack then approaches her. He has just got a hot tip on a horse from Jim and now bargains with Vera to sell don's address to her for a 20. So much for loyalty! Vera agrees, gets the address and hands Jack his 20.. 20P that is! She cackles in delight and scoots back to the booth where she catches Ivy topping up the juice with the contents of a flask from her purse! Never mind that, Vera takes the drink away from Ivy, replacing it with the precious address! Ivy is delighted!

Mavis find Rita in a somewhat distraught state at Ted's, still poring over the chess board. Rita is realizing how little she knew about Ted and perhaps his sister was right, she didn't mean anything to him really. Mavis proves her true value as a friend by reassuring Rita that she gave Ted the happiest year of his life. But how would that be, cries Rita, if he was frightened and in pain and dying? She was really only just therapy, a distraction for him. Mavis insists that isn't true and then lets Rita get it all out. Rita knows Ted loved her but she feels so bad. She misses him and now his family is trying to take it all away, making her doubt what happiness they did have. Mavis urges Rita not to let his family win but Rita seems to be leaning towards letting them have the lot.

Back at the Kabin later, Steve is in for a paper so he can do some job research. Mike comes in so Mavis sticks her oar in and suggests that Mike might be able to find a job for young Steve. As it happens, Mike does offer Steve a job in the garage helping Kevin. He'll pay Steve a tenner a day and isn't bothered at the moment that Steve doesn't have a driver's license (he'll regret that!) Steve is chuffed as is Mavis but Derek is just peevish because he didn't get to have his lunch break.

Over at the garage Kevin doesn't seem overly pleased to hear he's going to have a workmate that he'll have to take the time out to train. Wouldn't it be easier and cheaper just to pay Kevin the overtime (oh sure, but all both he and Sally have been doing is complaining about the long hours he's been working!)

Ivy calls Don's phone number but hangs up when he answers. She then calls a taxi instead to go to visit him. He isn't surprised when she turns up at his door, figuring it was her that called earlier. He's pleasant though, and shows her the flat, mentioning that he's got a cleaning woman coming in once a week. He even bought himself a cd player!! She's pleased for him and gets ready to go but he invites her to stay. She's reluctant and the conversation shifts to the breakdown of their marriage, Don cheerfully declaring it was for the best, they'd have torn each other apart. This way they can be nice to each other. This seems to cut Ivy to the core and she manages to back out and leave with her dignity intact but heart broken.

Lisa is trying to trace little Tom's handprint on the latest letter to Terry, partly because it will take up space that she doesn't have to fill with words. She knows how much letters mean to the men inside but she finds it quite a chore just the same. Vera, remembering Raquel's insinuations, asks if she's told Terry about her afternoon's at Des's. She hasn't and agrees that Terry would be jealous but not for the reason we think. Des gets to see Tom all the time, out in the sunshine, not across the table once in awhile with bars on the windows. Jack pops in just to say he's on his way to Don's to apologize for letting Ivy have the address.

In the pub tonight, Angie's a bit down after her business lunch which turned out to be with a school friend who's got a better job than her, an expense account and a boyfriend. Jim is initially pleased that Steve has a job until he finds out it's with Mike. Jim asks Steve if he's not going to sign on then, and I gather from the look Steve gives him that he already did and Mike is paying him under the table so his benefits don't get cut off. Jim gathers it too and isn't best pleased that Baldwin has Steve breaking the law already. (Oh just you wait!) But Steve is chuffed that he's got a job and bounces over to Kevin but Kevin has a major knot in his face and manages to pour cold water over the younger man's enthusiasm.

Over at Don's Jack makes it seem like Vera was the one that dug out the address, or mithered it out of him. Don probably knows better but lets is slide since the visit with Ivy went fairly well in the end. He asks Jack how Ivy's doing and Jack, not wanting to tell Don that Ivy's been hitting the bottle, says she's coping.

But she's not coping. She's in the Rovers barely upright and totally inebriated. Raquel awkwardly explains that she can't serve her anymore as Ivy's had too much already. Ivy drunkenly objects but Curly comes over and gently leads her away and takes her home as she sobs that she has nothing to go home for.

Diane Johnston

Susie Johnson: CLAIRE QUIGLEY
Written by FRANK COTTRELL-BOYCE Directed by JULIAN FARINO

Tuesday (3447, Wednesday 7 October 1992)

The day begins on the Street, where Vera is hovering outside Ivy's house, trying to rouse her to go to work. Ivy isn't responding to Vera's knocking so Vee is forced to leave for Bettabuys without her. Ivy, looking ... well, bedraggled would be putting it kindly, has tiptoed downstairs in time to see Vera drive off.

In the Kabin, Raquel invites Gail to a lingerie party she's arranged for that night through her mate, Gemma, who does these parties. It will be held in the back room of the Rovers.

Mavis drops in on Rita, who's sorting through boxes of photographs, letters, and the other bric-a-brac of Ted's life. It's the sort of stuff people spend a lifetime carefully collecting, transporting, storing and displaying, and which always seems to end up at flea markets, which is why I can never visit flea markets when I'm depressed to start with. Rita is in quite a depressed state herself, admitting to Mavis that this stuff reinforces to her that she knew nothing about 80% of Ted's life. Mavis is having none of that, and sternly (well, sternly for Mavis) tells Rita that these *things* mean nothing - Rita had the man himself and they meant everything to each other.

Over at MVB Motors, Steve shows up for his first day at work. Kevin is less than welcoming, clearly resenting Mike Baldwin hiring Steve without seeking Kevin's input.

In the Cafe, Lisa, Gail and Alma are giggling over the lingerie brochure Raquel gave Gail when Carmel arrives. The Lone Babysitter again offers her services should Gail feel the need to go out. Gail declines. Mavis comes by and casually mentions that she is attending Raquel's party that evening. In response to the collective surprise at this announcement, she says oh yes, she's been to these parties many times. In fact, when she and Derek got married they pooled their resources and now they have quite a collection - of Tupperware! When Gail realizes that Mavis is completely in the dark about the true nature of the merchandise, she changes her mind and tells Carmel she could use a sitter after all - for just about the time Mavis plans to be at Raquel's 'do'!

Ivy, meanwhile, spends some time changing herself from a beast into something resembling beauty, ignoring the persistent ringing of the phone while she carefully makes up her face. Now we see her sitting in a strange pub. She chats a bit to the barman, who's polite enough. Just then, out of Ivy's line of sight, (that was your first mistake, Laydeh!) Don Brennan enters! The barman tells Don his "date" has been waiting for an hour. It seems that Ivy has found out Don's local and told the barman to let her know when Don arrives. Don, panicked, tells the barman to tell Ivy he hasn't seen Don, and flees.

Back at the Rover's, Gemma has turned up with an appropriately licentious-looking pink carton containing the lingerie for that evening's party. Jack and Jim drool approvingly at the thought.

Things haven't warmed up any in the garage, where Steve is getting impatient at Kev's shortness and Kev is getting impatient at Steve's opinions about every aspect of the business. Finally Kev admits he didn't want Steve there in the first place. Steve makes the mistake of mentioning the dole, and Kevin correctly guesses in a voice filled with contempt that Steve's still signed on for it. "Don't say it like that - it were only last year _you_ got done for it!" snipes Steve. Kevin furiously grabs Steve by the lapels, spitting that there are two differences - he knows more about cars than Steve ever will (I'm not sure how this excuses unemployment insurance fraud) and he had a wife and child to support. Steve shakes Kev's hands off his lapels and storms out of the garage.

There's some controversy stirring at the Rover's over the lingerie party. Bet didn't realize there would be as many as fifteen people attending - she thought it was just a few. Betty doesn't want to have to feed fifteen. On the other hand, Gemma insists that any less than fifteen guests doesn't pay. Raquel humourously tries to reassure Bet that there will only be a few while simultaneously reassuring Gemma that there will be fifteen! Gemma tells Bet not to worry, she'll do that much better on commissions. This is the first Bet has heard of commissions. "Oh, that's my part, that's where I come in," flutters Raquel. Bet, having twigged that there's a commission on the party sales, firmly declares that it's *her* living room (hence her commissions)! Finally Betty asks who's paying for the liquor for this party? Bet, Raquel and Gemma each point at one another while simultaneously saying, "she is!"

Steve appears in the Rovers to nurse his bruised ego and tries crying on his dad's shoulder. Jim is less than sympathetic, telling Steve to try to see it from Kevin's point of view - Steve was parachuted in by Mike Baldwin without Kevin being given any choice in the matter. He berates Steve for letting his big mouth get him on Kevin's bad side. Just then, MVB himself walks into the Rovers and cheerily asks Steve how things are going at the garage. Steve mumbles sheepishly that things are fine.

Roger Brookes arrives at Rita's flat and she offers him a cup of tea. He is not, of course, there on a social visit. There's been an offer on Ted's house. ("a young couple," he says. Aha. Building sympathy. It's always "a young couple" if you want them to accept the offer, never "a middle-aged couple with a flock of teenagers" or "a single woman in her 40s who's perfectly happy alone" or "a couple of dear old queens in their fifties with their two Shelties", all perfectly nice sorts of people in their own right. It's always "a young couple", sounding like some kind of "Love is..." cartoon.) It's very fair, he says - £55,000. Rita points out that the house is worth £20,000 more. Roger counters by saying they'd have to wait a long time for an offer like that. "I can wait," replies Rita pointedly. When Roger presses about "Ted's wishes", Rita shows a flash of anger. He needn't tell *her* about Ted's wishes, she replies. She was married to Ted. Roger's family's concerns seem to center less around Ted's wishes than money, she says. Roger says this is unfair and that she is making a mistake. If that is so, replies Rita, it's one she can live with. With that, she makes it clear that Roger's audience is over.

Kev has now come into the Rovers and makes some angry and sarcastic remarks about Steve's hiring to Mike Baldwin, within Steve's hearing. He is upset about Steve being placed in the garage by Mike, saying he was put there not as a help but as a threat. He's locked the garage, he says, and Mike can give Steve the keys and see how he gets on! With that, it's his turn to storm out - of the Rovers.

Out in the Street, Curly has arrived home from Bettabuys and encounters Vera. He asks where Ivy is and seems to doubt Vee's claim that she has no idea. Curly warns that Ivy will be sacked at this rate. Vera pleads for Ivy, saying Curly can't sack her in the state she's in. "I wouldn't," replies Curly, "Reg would!" He further tells Vera to warn Ivy not to pretend she was at home sick all day because it won't work. (Remember that persistently ringing phone while Ivy was preparing to go out?)

In the rear of the Rovers, the lingerie party is getting into full swing. Betty doesn't get it at all. Paying all that money for next to nought? "In my day you got what you paid for!" she declares. Mavis is mortified. "There's been a misunderstanding," she squeaks as she tries to make a dignified exit. "I thought it were Tupperware!" Gemma, however, is giving them the hard-sell, and even Mavis stays on. In the front area of the pub there is a great deal of salacious speculation about what's going on in the back, and into this innocently walks Derek. To guffaws all 'round Jack snickers that Dirk "should see what your Mavis is buying!" "I don't see anything overtly funny about a cruet set," sniffs a confused Derek to the great amusement of the crowd.

In the back room, Ivy has unexpectedly showed up and she is, as we would say back home, "taking in both sides of the hall". (Picture a drunk weaving down a corridor and it will make sense.) The partygoers are clearly embarrassed and/or concerned for her. She is still drinking - or attempting to drink, as Bet signals Betty to serve her as little as possible. Nevertheless, she has a glass of wine in hand when Gail and Vera take the opportunity of the busy order-taking to corner her and ask how she is. Ivy drunkenly criticizes Gail for leaving the children with that "slip of a girl". Gail replies hotly that Carmen isn't a "slip of a girl" and is a nurse (I thought she was a nursing *student*? I mean, I took psychology but that didn't make me stable. Or wait, that's the wrong analogy. I meant, took comparative religion but that didn't make me a nun... Er...) Ivy slurs that Carmen may be a nurse, but she isn't family. In spite of Vera's attempts to reign in Gail's anger, Gail responds furiously, saying that the children's closest family "has usually had too much to drink to be left in charge of children!" A highly agitated Ivy flees the party.

Steve goes looking for Kevin and, at Sally's direction, finds him in the garage. The garage-like echo of the set was authentic but made following the dialogue a bit difficult, however what was evident was that Kevin and Steve made their peace and later they go to the Rover's to seal their repaired relationship over a brew. While there, Steve is put up by Jack to going into the now-swinging lingerie party as a spy bearing gifts (a bottle of wine). Steve gets a pair of frilly knickers pulled over his head for his trouble!

Ivy has drunkenly headed straight for the Platts' home. She tells an alarmed Carmel that she's going to tell the kids "the truth" about their parents. Carmen says firmly that Ivy is drunk and she'll frighten the children. Dismissing her as "just the babysitter", Ivy makes for the stairs where she begins calling out for Nicky. Carmel tries to physically stop her and as the two women struggle at the bottom of the stairs, a distressed Nick appears in his pyjamas pleading with them to "stop it, just stop it!" He scurries upstairs again in tears. Gail has arrived just in time to see this debacle and takes over from Carmel, gripping the now-defeated and sobbing Ivy, who collapses into her arms in tears sobbing that she's "sorry... so sorry."

ronniecat

Barman: DAVID BOND Gemma: ESTHER COLES Roger Brookes: NIGEL CARRINGTON
Written by PAUL ABBOTT Directed by JULIAN FARINO

Wednesday (3448, Friday 9 October 1992)

Another day dawns on the street, but not all have had a good night. While Jack eats his breakfast, Vera comments that Lisa had a terrible night with the baby, and this is reinforced by the sound of little Tommy screaming in the background. Jack reminds her that the baby kept them all awake, but his spirits are lifted by the fact that as of today he can finally withdraw cash from his new bank account. Vera dampens things a bit by handing him a list of his household expenses with a final tally of what Jack owes her. She also voices her hope that Ivy will be fit for work as she rushes out the door

Outside, Vera bumps into Curly, who asks her about Ivy. Vera tries to cover for her friend by saying that she's been under a lot of stress lately, but Curly tells her she can't keep making excuses for her. After all, Reg Holdsworth has his limits, and Ivy is definitely pushing her luck. Vera continues on to Ivy's home and bangs on the door. She's about to give up when a disheveled and hung-over Ivy appears, still in her pink housecoat. Vera offers to come in and help her get ready for work, but Ivy curtly informs her that she's not going in. Vera warns her about Holdsworth, but Ivy tells her she doesn't care and slams the door in her face.

At the Cafe, Ivy is the topic of conversation between Gail and Alma. Alma wonders who Ivy will turn to if Gail turns her back on her, and an obviously frustrated Gail responds that she'll be there for Ivy -- when she straightens up and stops drinking.

Derek moans about how futile it is to go, but nevertheless he's planning to visit the job center that morning. Mavis tries to encourage him by saying that it's only a matter of time and perserverance before he finds a good job. In the meantime, his position at the Kabin is still there, since there's no sign that Rita's thinking of coming back.

Kevin throws a wobbler when he arrives back from an errand to find Steve brewing-up at the garage instead of slaving away at an assigned task. Steve informs Kev that he finished the job, and thinks Kev should stop taking everything so seriously. This naturally leads to the classic lecture -- Steve has no idea of the responsibility of having a wife, kiddies, a mortgage, etc., but instead of commanding respect, Steve laughs and quips that he won't fall into that trap.

Rita looks through magazines at the Kabin and wonders why Derek isn't there to assist Mavis. When she learns that he's off to the job center, she tells Mavis that she's tired of rattling around her empty apartment and offers to help out. Before Mavis can protest, Rita whips into the back to make tea.

Des stops on the street to chat with Lisa, and after asking after Tommy's health and telling her she looks "worn out," he suggests she pop by the Rover's Return for a drink that evening. Lisa isn't sure it can be arranged, and is rather non-committal over the idea.

Back at the Kabin, Rita asks a quiet Mavis what's bothering her. Mavis confesses that she and Derek are worried about Rita's plans. If she wants to resume her responsibilities at the shop, it will affect Derek's position there. Rita responds that she's fully aware of the havoc she wreaked on Derek's career, so she certainly has no plans to show him the door.

Obviously on her lunch break, Vera shows up at the Cafe wanting a word with Gail. She's very concerned about Ivy, whom she feels is "giving up," but an unsympathetic Gail tells Vera there's nothing she can do. Furthermore, Gail has had it "up to here" with Ivy and her problems. "I can't take it anymore," is Gail's last word on the subject.

After a few hours at the Kabin, Rita tells Mavis what a "tonic" it's been to work behind the counter again. As she goes to the back of the shop to "put kettle on," Derek bursts through the door, peevish and frustrated after another unsuccessful trip to the job center. In his usual unctuous manner, Derek informs Mavis that someone at the center actually had the gall to offer him a job as a school caretaker. He was so offended that he demanded to see a supervisor!

Mike Baldwin arrives at the garage and over a blaring radio, demands to know why Kevin isn't there. Steve informs him that Kevin is out running errands, and Mike angrily wonders why Steve isn't doing that instead while Kev gets the mechanical jobs done. Steve reminds him that he doesn't have a driver's license -- something he told Mike "up front" the day he was hired. Mike admits he knew that, but expected Steve to do something about it by now.

Over drinks at the Rover's Return, Mavis reassures Derek that Rita was simply being a friend by offering to help out while he was away from the shop. Derek, however, refuses to see it that way and can't believe that Rita just "happened" to show up the minute he left the Kabin.

Rita, meanwhile, goes into the Corner Shop to pick up a few groceries. She tells Alf she enjoyed her day, helping Mavis out at the Kabin. Alf asks if there are any new developments on the situation over the Will, and Rita tells him that Ted's house has been placed on the market. The only offer received was £20,000 less than the asking price, and Roger thinks she should accept it. Alf urges her to stick to her guns and refuse such a low price, and Rita tells him she'd just like to wash her hands of the whole mess.

Over at the Duckworth's, Vera tells Jack how upset she is about Ivy. Jack feels there's nothing anyone can do, but Vera wants him to talk to Don. Maybe if Don knew about the state that Ivy's in, he'd want to do something, but Jack refuses to get involved and says he needs to get to work. Disgusted by his uncaring attitude, Vera asks if he will at least give her Don's address so that she can go around and talk to him herself. Although he realizes he isn't doing his friend any favours, Jack eventually relents and tells Vera where Don lives. After Jack leaves, Lisa asks Vera how long she thinks she'll be gone -- she was thinking about popping by the Rover's Return for a change of scenery and a quiet drink. Vera, who is focussed only on Ivy's problems, tells Lisa not to count on her to babysit.

Gail closes the door of the cafe after the last customer of the day leaves, and sensing her depression, Alma reassures her that she isn't to blame for Ivy's problems. She reminds her that Ivy is the one with the drinking problem, and until Ivy realizes that, nothing can be done. Although Gail is tired of the situation, she still hates to see Ivy's life "go down the tubes." Alma hopefully wonders if Vera will be able to help. "Judging from her face at noon, she's not going to let it drop."

At the Rover's Return, Angie and Raquel laugh over the knicker party of the previous night, with Angie commenting that most of the articles looked downright uncomfortable to wear. When Steve and Kevin come in for a pint, Angie teases Steve about modelling some of the items (on his head). Liz asks Jack why he has such a long face, and he responds that he's tired of Vera sticking her nose into Ivy's life.

Meanwhile, Vera has arrived at Don's flat. He invites her in, and she immediately launches on the purpose of her visit -- she's there because she's worried sick about Ivy. Don's response is that she's wasted a trip.

Back at the pub, Des asks Jack if Lisa mentioned the possibility of popping in for a drink. Jack responds that she didn't, and suspiciously wonders why Des would be asking. Trying to make light of a touchy subject, Des mentions that he "bumped into" Lisa that morning and suggested that coming out for a drink might make a change.

Derek orders a pint and tells Jim MacDonald how put off he was when a clerk at the job center offered him a position as school caretaker. While Derek feels the position would be beneath him, Jim misconstrues Derek's complaint and voices his opinion that the clerk made a mistake because Derek couldn't do the job -- he has no qualifications or experience in the field. An offended Derek bristles and asserts he *could* do the job, no problem. Leaving the bar in a huff, Derek sits at a booth with Mavis and informs her that Jim MacDonald gave him a hard time over the caretaker job. Mavis doesn't understand why Derek is so offended by the conversation, given that he wouldn't be given the job even if he wanted it.

At Don's flat, Vera pours her heart out, telling him that Ivy is a complete wreck and always getting drunk. She begs Don to go and see her, but Don's response is that she is no longer his problem. Vera knows that Don's influence might well stop Ivy from going over the edge. Although he seems uncaring, Vera's final words -- "She needs you, Don. She needs you now more than she's ever needed anybody" -- seem to hit home.

Heather Morlan

Written by BARRY HILL Directed by CHARLES LAUDER

Thursday (3449, Monday 12 October 1992)

It's morning and Ivy makes her way unsteadily down the ginnel, having been to the shop for bread. Vera is hanging out clothes and calls to her. Ivy makes out that she's still not feeling well and not going to work today but I'd swear she's still drunk from the night before, not hungover! She avoids Vera's questions and goes back to her own house. Inside, Lisa and Jack are having breakfast. Lisa comments that she'd like to go into town and get her hair done if she could find someone to mind the baby for an hour. Everyone she mentions it to today says the same thing as Jack does, Why? She isn't going to see Terry today? Poor kid is bored silly and only wants to get out of the house to do something a bit different other than going for walks with the baby and talking to the four walls. Vera returns and she and Jack chat about Ivy's state and Don's seeming uncaring attitude about her.

In the Kabin, Derek is out on personal business and Mavis won't tell Rita or Emily what it is though Rita mithers the life out of her to try to get it out of her. Emily came in to pay the papers but really only to get out of the house and away from Mr. Sugden who's in a frenzy of shoe spit and polishing and clothes brushing in preparation for a committee meeting on reunion and commemorations for the anniversary of El Alamein. When Emily returns to the house she is cornered into listening to copious notes Percy's made for the meeting.

Steve and Kevin seem to have made their peace and are working on a car together. Steve mentions that he will schedule a driving test without the added expense of a few lessons to start with. Curly brings his car in and isn't pleased when Kevin says he's too busy to look at it. Curly is rather skeptical when Kevin volunteer's the inexperienced (in Curly's mind) Steve's services instead but is pleased later when Steve has fixed the car and it's running just fine. Playing the friendship card, Curly manages to talk Kevin into only charging him for the parts, cash under the table as well.

Lisa lands at the café for a sit down with Gail who's brought in some of David's baby things. They sit at a table sorting through the items while Lisa chats about life at the Duckworth's. Boring but Jack and Vera have been just smashing to her. Gail mentions having to keep her kids away from Granny Ivy so as not to upset them by seeing her in that state she's been in and Mike drops in for a sarnie.

Derek's back and it seems his business included putting an application in for the assistant caretaker's job that Jim cruelly joked that Derek would not be able to get. Mavis is riding high on her horse and can't understand why Derek would even bother, he has no experience and is qualified for much more dignified positions. Ah but he can't get any of those, can he? She's exasperated because he's only doing it to prove a point, Point of Honour, he, er, points out. He scolds Mavis for being snobbish. Rita overhears part of the conversation and decides she's going out shopping to get out from under. Outside the Kabin she encounters Roger Brookes (that's the nephew, not the obnoxious brother-in-law) who has come to see if they can't sort out this mess over the will. We never find out what he came to say exactly. The next time we see Rita she's back in the Kabin with Mavis and Mavis is going around the well worn path of advice she's been going on for weeks now, telling Rita not to let Ted's relatives wear her down, not to let them talk her into compromise and the fact that Ted knew what he was doing and wanted Rita to have what he left her. Ad infinitum.

Don visits Des at the bookies' and fetches him outside on the premise of having a look at his new car. After admiring it, Des asks Don why he really wanted to talk to him. Well, it's Ivy isn't it. Des confirms that Ivy isn't taking rejection very well but then again, who does? Des remembers what it felt like and says Ivy will get over it eventually. Don seems to be feeling really guilty as he protests that it isn't his problem any more no matter what everyone is saying.

In the corner shop, Mavis is dismayed to find out that Derek has told Alf all about Rita's will-wrangling as she endures Alf's prattling on about greedy relatives. She tries to be discreet after all, it's Rita's personal business isn't it. But when Alf asks Mavis about this new job that Derek has applied for, Mavis snaps that Derek must be applying for a job as a gossip columnist and huffs out of the shop with a righteous on.

Poor Lisa has abandoned the idea of having her hair done and is mooning at home. It doesn't help her mood any when Vera tells her she's off to cheer up a friend who's stuck in the house after having surgery. Lisa mutters that maybe she ought to have her gall bladder out to get any company!

In the pub tonight, Mavis gives Derek Hell for spreading gossip and bragging about the caretaking job as if it was something to be proud of, having let someone like Jim MacDonald egg him on. Mavis seems to have trouble seeing past that nose of hers, stuck to the ceiling as it is! Percy isn't best pleased either. It seems the committee meeting didn't go well and he was outvoted on some point or other. Jim buys him a brandy for consolation. Jack and Des chat about Des's lifestyle. Des comes in the pub because it's convenient, deciding to give up on women for the time being after having his fingers burned once too often.

Ivy staggers in and asks for a lager. But Jack is reluctant to serve her as she's really had more than enough. Des isn't quite as tactful. Ivy gets defensive and surly and resists efforts by Jim, Liz and Des to get her to go home quietly. She breaks down into a crying jag and sobs in Liz's arms about not being able to sleep or feel anything. Don has seen this from the doorway and comes over to take charge. Ivy pathetically smiles at him in delight and goes complacently with him as he leads her out the door and down the road to No5. She fumbles for her keys and he leaves her at the door sobbing to him her apologies. But he turns around after she's closed the door and sees she's left the key in the lock. He nearly puts the keys through the letterbox but thinks again and uses them to open the door. He goes inside with a sigh to take care of her.

Diane Johnston

Roger Brookes: NIGEL CARRINGTON
Written by TOM ELLIOTT Directed by CHARLES LAUDER

Friday (3450, Wednesday 14 October 1992)

Ivy stumbles down to the kitchen first thing in the morning to relieve her parched thirst. She gives a low moan as she clutches her head, looking every bit the poster child for hangovers. She guzzles one glass of water, then another, before a noise within the house startles her. It's Don, making his way downstairs, one thump at a time. They exchange pleasantries: "How often d'ya do this, Ivy?" "Anytime I feel like it!" After a moment she relents, "Okay, now and again - it makes me feel better..." Don gives a grunt of disapproval and she adds, "Anyway, why are you here?" Because she gave him quite a scare, that's why! He was worried she'd choke or fall and he didn't want to have her on his conscience, he explains. "Yes, you'd have plenty on your conscience, Don Brennan!" she hollers, forgetting her headache for a moment. Don shakes his head, "If you choose to drink yourself to death that's on *your* conscience, not mine, Ivy!"

Not wishing to continue the argument, she offers, "Anyway, tea's brewing - you might as well stay for a cup..." As she returns to the kitchen, his warning follows her, "Don't make a habit of it Ivy!"

The Duckworths are in the middle of a heated exchange at this moment. The morning mail has brought an order for Vera to appear in court over the infamous parking ticket and she's now letting Jack know how she feels about it. The way Jack figures it, it's simple: It's Vera's ticket (the car being in *her* name) and since *she* is the one with the chequing account, she should just write a cheque! The two continue their argument, oblivious to Lisa in the background, dressing Tommy to take him out. She says nothing but quietly opens the door and pushes the pram out, leaving Jack and Vera to themselves.

As she crosses the street, Lisa meets Des, just on his way to work. She says she's going to take little Tommy over to the Rec for some fresh air but Des suggests she's headed in the wrong direction. She explains that she wants to stay out as long as possible, to avoid her "totally balmy" in-laws. Des chuckles in understanding, then mentions that he and Kevin will be in the Rovers tonight if she'd like to join them. Lisa says she'd love to - if she can get away for an hour. Gail pops out of No. 8 and offers a cheery "hello" as she leaves for work, but she stops for a double-take as she sees Don bring the milk inside from the doorstep of No. 5.

In the Kabin, Derek's enthusiasm over becoming a building superintendant is rising. "Assistant superintendant", Mavis corrects. "Assistant, then", he relents. Anyway, as she reminds him, he hasn't landed the job yet - maybe they'll say he's too highly qualified. But as Derek points out, there's more to it than "shovels and bunches of keys". Mavis starts talking about a "janitor" she once knew but he cuts her off, "Same thing". Derek just likes the sound of "superintendant" better. "I wonder what it means?" asks Mavis... "Well, 'super', meaning 'above', and 'intendant', meaning... 'intend'! Intending to be above!" he finishes with satisfaction.

From her flat above, Rita comes down to the Kabin to meet Alf who has just come in to the shop to pick her up. They are going over to Ted's house for a meeting with Ted's ornery relatives, The Brookses. After the unpleasantness of the last time, Rita doesn't look forward to seeing them and she's glad Alf is coming along for moral support. He reassures her that her offer is a generous one. As they get into the car, he asks what time the meeting is scheduled for. When she tells him, he predicts they'll be waiting in the driveway.

At the CafÈ, Gail tells Alma of seeing Don at Ivy's this morning. She hears from Alma that Ivy was in the Rovers last night, "well gone" and that Don saw her home. Gail wonders aloud if that means he spent the night, prompting Alma to ask if it matters. "Of course it matters!" says Gail. "If he's going to start worrying about her it means *I* won't have to!"

In the Rovers, Jack is complaining to Raquel that he has the night off but no brass. She reckons he never has any brass but as he explains, it's the expense of running a car that drains him. He speculates that if he didn't have to pay out for the car, he would be able to afford a "fancy woman". Except, as Raquel points out, "She wouldn't want to know you if you didn't have a car!"

From across the bar, Percy asks Jack, as a member of the Legion, if he has an opinion about the Germans coming over to march in the parade to commemorate El Alamain. Off-handedly, Jack answers that since "they were there for the first part", he doesn't "see why they shouldn't be there for the second part"!

Mike Baldwin turns up unexpectedly at the garage to take Steve away for a new project. Kevin doesn't like the idea and complains that he needs the help and Steve was on his way to becoming a "half-decent" mechanic. Baldwin blows off his concerns, saying he should get on to the labour centre and see about getting himself another helper - "Mechanics are ten a penny, anyway!" Furious at the remark, Kevin stalks off without waiting to hear what the boss has in mind for Steve.

As Rita and Alf pull up in front of Ted's home, they see that Alf called it correctly - the Brookses are indeed "waiting in the driveway"!

Emily is in the Corner Shop and as she fills her shopping order, she asks Deirdre if Alf is about today. "He's gone off with a rich widow!" jokes Deirdre, before telling Emily about the mission he and Rita are on. Emily wanted a word about something Mr. Sugden "is all worked up about"... She thinks he's on the verge of "sending his medals back to Buckingham Palace" over the Germans coming and wondered if Alf could talk to him, one veteran to another. As she pays for her order, Deirdre suggests that Percy might not be too thrilled that she's bought "Battenburg", so Emily says she'll have to call it "Mount Batten Cake"! LOL

At the start of their meeting with Ted's relatives, Rita asks if there's anything of a sentimental nature they'll be wanting... She herself would like only two things, the rose bowl and the picture at the top of the stairs... "Of course you'd want that - it's an original painting!" says Roger Brooks, the brother-in-law. Taking a deep breath, Rita explains that is not why she wants it -- it was something Ted was very fond of. Sarah, Ted's sister, mentions that she'd like to have the little inlaid occasional table that belonged to her mother, and the brass dish that came from the house in Ashton. Roger asks about a candelabra and Sarah tells him that one of the other family members has it, that he must be thinking of the canteen. "Oh yes - the canteen containing silver cutlery!" he remembers. Rita says the only silver she knows of is "the EPNS", to which Roger shoots back, "Well *I* never looked at the backs of the handles!"

Dispensing with talk of "the incidentals", Roger says he wants to get down to the real business at hand, Ted's will. Another deep breath and Rita says she's decided *not* to accept the offer on the house (£56K?) citing it as well below its worth. However, she goes on, when it does sell, she's prepared to give them a third of the proceeds. In closing, Rita says she feels it's a very fair offer. Alf agrees that it's a very fair offer - "It's £30,000 if it's a penny!" and sits back to hear what the family has to say about it. "It's not enough!" says Roger with finality.

Mike has taken Steve over to the vacant premises next to the garage. He's already shown him around the place and is now explaining to him the concept of "piece work". Aftrer finishing with Steve he returns to the garage to speak to Kevin, informing him that Steve will now be in the business of printing t-shirts. Kevin is disgusted to think that his mechanic has been snatched away for such a lowly purpose, telling Mike that a monkey could print t-shirts! "Why does it have to be Steve?" he asks. "Because I'm the boss and I think Steve is the lad for the job!" answers Mike angrily. "Yeah, you're the boss so you get to mess people about..." grumbles Kevin under his breath.

Back at Ted's house, Roger continues to argue. He wants the family to have half the proceeds from the sale of the house. "In fact," he asserts, "a case could be made for saying a third to you and the rest to us!" Despite what his father wants, Philip interjects to say that he thinks Rita's made them a fair offer. He turns to his mother to ask her opinion. Looking from her husband to her son, Sarah says she really isn't sure... Roger turns to Alf accusatorily. "Who advised her on this - you?" Alf says he didn't, that he's only along to give Rita moral support, but the villainous Roger ignores the comment, saying that *someone* has given Rita advice - otherwise, why has she changed her tune? "I *thought* I was being generous!" says Rita angrily.

But Roger remains convinced, the only reason Rita is negotiating is that she's had legal advice and now believes she has to come up with a better offer. Philip pleads with his father to stop arguing - he claims to be doing so for his mother's sake yet *she* seems content to accept Rita's offer... Sarah now affirms this, she is willing to take the offer. Despite their protestations, Roger stubbornly holds his ground. "The only reason she's here today is because she thinks the will is no good - and *that* is because the marriage lines are no good!" Visibly upset, Rita calls Roger a "very greedy man", to which he retorts, "Me? *You* married a dying man for his money!" Alf has heard enough by now. Angrily, he rises and tells Roger to leave the house before he throws him out the bay window!

Jack and Vera are again (still?) arguing over the parking fine when Lisa casually mentions to Vera that she's going out for an hour. Vera stops shouting at Jack long enough to ask where she's going and Lisa says she told Gail she'd meet her for a drink in the Rovers. Vera accepts this and picks up where she left off, continuing her verbal attack on Jack.

As Alf and Rita leave Ted's house after locking up, she tells him she feels sick from all the tension. "It's no wonder!" Alf says. With newfound vigor she tells him that she doesn't even *want* Ted's money. But after the events of today, she'll take it to every court in the land to make sure *they* don't get a penny! He tells her the first order of business will be a visit to Ted's doctor. She'll need to get certification that Ted's mind was sound when he made the will.

Lisa joins Des and Kevin in the pub, relieved to be away from "the flying crockery" for a time. Des heads for the bar to get her a drink, low-alcohol lager, while she takes a seat at their table. As he arrives at the bar to place the order, Percy is busy talking Liz' ear off about El Alamain. She's only too glad of the excuse to move away to serve Des and Percy continues his complaining without skipping a beat, shifting his attention to Des. When Des makes the mistake of laughing, the pensionner takes it as mockery and lights into him. "You might well laugh - you've slept safely in your bed every night of your life. You've never been in a war!" Des protests that he wasn't laughing at Percy but the old man won't be placated... "I'm no hero - but I've known heroes! I've had the priviledge of weeping over their graves - and I'll not see them abused by a lot of fat, idle councillors sucking up to Germany!" With that, he stalks out of the pub angrily, leaving Des and any other would-be dissenters in his dust.

At the end of the day Don stops by at Ivy's to pick up his wallet, accidentally left behind this morning. Ivy is ready for him, considerably "smartened up" from the way she looked when he last saw her. She hands over the wallet and invites him to stay a while so she can talk to him. Don assumes his "doomed" look and sits down with a sigh. She begins by thanking him for staying over, something she "forgot" to say this morning. He asks why she drinks and she answers that she can stop anytime she wants to - she *isn't* an alcoholic if that's what he's thinking!

She goes on to say that if he'd died in that accident, she could have accepted it. Even if he'd left her for "that girl", she'd have accepted it, putting it down to "sin"... But the fact that he just can't stand to be near her, that he finds her so loathesome, that is what she can't bear. And she drinks when she gets the same opinion of herself... "Ivy - I don't find you loathesome," he begins, "it's just some of your ways, some of the things you do..." She says she knows, there's no need to explain. Anyway, she's been thinking about the room upstairs, the spare room... Why should it remain empty if he cares to stop the night once in awhile? "What? Me? As a lodger?" Don is suddenly on his feet. Calmly, Ivy points out that it would be convenient for him - and he does have the key... And, if she knew she could see him coming through the door at the end of the day, she'd stop drinking...

At first, Don can't get his head around the idea. He stands there with a look of panic on his face, a man about to be caged. After a minute's consideration, with Ivy emphasizing that he could come and go as he pleases, he finally agrees to the idea - on a trial basis. "Alright then - if it'll stop you killing yourself". Ivy's face lights up with a smile. "Thank you, Don!"

Anita Bélanger

Roger Brooks NIGEL CARRINGTON Philip Brooks LESLIE SCHOFIELD Sarah Brooks ZULEMA DENE
Written by JULIAN ROACH Directed by CHARLES LAUDER


Originally transmitted: 16, 19, 21, 23 & 26 October 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 3 - Friday 7 January 2000
Episode Numbers: 3451 - 3455

Monday (3451, Friday 16 October 1992)

Don seems to look shell shocked as if he's not sure he's made the right decision moving back into Number 5. I think he's wondering what happened to the moaning, raging harridan he used to live with when Ivy pleasantly serves him a cooked breakfast, pleased to have someone to look after again. He offers to drive her to work a bit early to get into Reg's good books. Once at work, Ivy mends fences with Vera, thanking her for all her attempts to help even if it wasn't appreciated at the time. Special thanks to Vera's words to Don which seem to have worked because Don has moved back in! Vera is pleased for her. Uh oh, Reg sees Ivy back to work and gossiping (so he thinks) with Vera and calls her into his office.

Derek surprisingly has a job interview for the assistant school caretaker job and seems plenty down in the dumps, resigned to the depths his career has sunk. He decides he might as well go over to the school t judge the lay of the land, providing of course he's allowed time away from his present job. Rita happens to be in the shop and behind the counter immediately and thoughtlessly gives permission before catching herself on and clearing it with Mavis who's still the manager. Things seem rather tricky and Mavis and Rita tread on eggshells around each other for quite some time. Finally Rita mentions that she noticed that Mavis isn't wearing her manager badge now that Rita is spending more time in the shop. The subject is now up for discussion to clear the air. Rita confirms that she wants to come back to the shop but promises Mavis that her manager's salary will continue and she'll be consulted on all shop policy matters. Mavis is satisfied and they are a friendly team once again. Derek returns, filled with ideas for suggestions for improvements that he can bring up at the interview. His enthusiasm is dampened somewhat when Emily mentions Percy Sudgen's past career as caretaker (community center) when she promises not to tell Percy about Derek's eminent interview so as not to solicit unwanted advice from the old man. Derek is now deflated and wonders if he's about to turn into Percy's persona!

Reg calls ivy on the carpet for her unreliable behaviour over the past weeks with Mr. Watts called into the office to attend the meeting. All of her sins are quoted (turning up late or not at all and the moment she's back, she's caught gossiping with Mrs. Duckworth). Ivy takes the scolding she believes she deserves and promises that it won't be repeated as she has her personal problems sorted now. But it's no good and Reg sacks her, telling her to collect her cards at the end of the day. Ivy is very disappointed but, as she later tells Vera in the locker room, it wasn't a complete surprise. The only surprise to me is that he waited until she came back to work to sack her! Vera realizes Curly was there and when she finds out he did nothing to stop Reg but stood by silently, she's enraged. She gives Curly the sharp edge of her tongue when he comes by to apologize to Ivy so he beats a hasty retreat. Ivy again soothes Vera, telling her she's not angry at either Reg or Curly who is in an awkward position after all.

But what the women don't know is that after Ivy left, Curly DID speak up. He lays it on thick too, citing Ivy's past history of troubles. She lost her husband and her son and nearly lost her second husband in a horrendous accident after which she found out he was leaving her for another woman! Her job was the only thing she had in life and he's taken that away too! It does come to light that Reg has recently been under criticism from Head Office for declining sales and I guess we are to assume he's taken it out on Ivy but he also didn't want the other staff to think they could get away with such behaviour so an example must be made. Curly is dispatched to Macclesfield but he did succeed in giving Reg something to think about in his staunch defense for Ivy's job.

Mike finds Steve in the new print shop with his radio blaring and takes a cranky attitude as usual. He sets Steve to stocking shelves while he waits for a bloke Mike hired to come and show Steve how to work the silk screening equipment. Mike also brings his ray of sunshine over to the Rovers where he manages to cheer Kevin (well as much as Kevin is ever cheered!) by telling Kevin he's put a notice up at the job center for a qualified mechanic to help out.

When Ivy comes to get her cards, Reg tells her that she can keep her job after all and has a second chance thanks entirely to Mr. Watts and his efforts!

Ken has a visit from Mark's mother, Maggie Redman to discuss some problems. Seems Mark has been withdrawn and his grades are rather low and it's all rather a concern. Maggie reveals that her husband died recently and Mark is still grieving for his father. Having seen the light, Ken obligingly undertakes to let the other teachers know to allow Mark a bit of leeway and that crack you just heard? That was the sound of the ice breaking between Maggie and Ken who gives her a hopeful but smarmy smile.

In the pub tonight Jim chats to Steve about his day, Curly comes in, mentally exhausted from training the Macclesfield manager on the computer system. Jack is reluctant to serve Curly , having only heard from Vera that Ivy's lost her job and Curly didn't help her case. But Ivy comes into the pub and buys Curly a drink and gives him a big kiss on the cheek. Curly's part in Ivy's reinstatement is revealed but Ivy doesn't stay for a drink and leaves straight away, running into Don who's just back from a day at the dog races with Des.

Don sees Ivy emerge from the pub and his face tightens in anger, assuming the worst. Ivy cheerfully greets him and cuts through his attitude by relating the events of the day, from the sacking to the reinstatement to buying Curly a drink in thanks. Seems she couldn't find Curly at home and was on her way back to No5 when she saw Curly arrive at the pub and changed direction to do her duty. Don finally relaxes when he realizes she's telling the truth, with a newly cut out frock ready to sew as further evidence that she was otherwise occupied instead of drinking. Don is further surprised that Ivy asks him about his day at the races and congratulates him on his winnings instead of giving him grief for gambling as she would have done once upon a time. Ivy hands him a plate of sandwiches since he's got home late. He reminds her that their living arrangements are temporary but she just smiles and goes off to bed, promising him a cup of tea in bed in the morning. Don looks as if he thinks aliens have taken over Ivy's body!

Diane Johnston

Return of: Maggie Redman: JILL KERMAN
Written by KEN BLAKESON Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Tuesday (3452, Monday 19 October 1992)

Don is leaving for work. He brusquely informs Ivy her that he's going out with his mates that night, as if challenging her to complain. She mildly says that Don's life is his own and she has no claim on it - she needs to focus on her own life now!

Reg comes by Curly's at this odd hour. He wonders where Kimberley is and doubts Curly's claim that she doesn't sleep there, making several lascivious comments about Curly's relationships with Kim and Angie. Finally getting down to business, he reminds Curly that not ten days ago they were discussing Reg's "brilliant" "Cheeses of the World" display idea. Yesterday he was visiting their competitor, Crazy Cuts, and lo and behold, what did he see but a "Cheeses of the World" display! He amusingly paints Kimberley (a Crazy Cuts employee) as some kind of Delilah, coaxing trade secrets out of Samson/Curly during "pillow talk". Curly assures Reg that there's no pillows for them, much less pillow talk, and anyway does he think they have nothing better to talk about than Cheeses of the World??? (With Curly and Kimberley one might be tempted to wonder.)

Percy polishes his medals as Emily arrives home. He is not marching in the local El Alamein Anniversary Veterans Parade due to his conflict with the local Legion, he says, but he claims he is going to march in another parade elsewhere. He assures Emily he is not going to "boycott" the Legion permanently (she'll no doubt be eternally grateful to hear *that*!). However, he seems more than grateful to accept Emily's invitation to have lunch with her and Mavis in the Rovers.

Kev and Steve are having a cuppa in the garage when Mike comes by and chews Steve out for not being busy. When Steve protests that Mike hasn't given him any t-shirt orders yet, Mike thrusts some into his hand. The top one - fifty tees for Weatherfield Car Auctions - is a personal favour and Mike wants it done by tonight.

In the Rovers, Mavis isn't enjoying her lunch very much because Percy keeps making disparaging remarks about Derek and how unfit he is for the school custodian position he's applied for. Mavis is "sick and tired of people around here talking about [Derek] as if he's some kind of wimp!" Percy ends up undeterred, Emily ends up shaking her head, and Mavis ends up ten minutes late back from lunch. She arrives at the Kabin to relieve Rita just as Vera comes by for writing paper and envelopes - to write her precious Terry, of course. Mavis begins running on at the mouth thoughtlessly about how hard it must be for Lisa, so young and all alone, but it's nice that that young Des Barnes has taken an interest. "Ye wot?" gapes Vera as Mavis checks herself. "Oh dear, that sounded terrible didn't it?" Only, she goes on, Des lets Lisa sun the baby in his backyard, and Mavis saw all the young people out at the Rovers the other night, and Lisa looked so happy, having a good laugh, she's so pretty... Vera's frown gets tighter and tighter through this monologue until she appears ready to explode!

Steve comes into the Rovers where Liz is cleaning up during early closing. The screen-printing machine's broken, he complains, he's ruined 30 t-shirts and only produced two good ones! He wants a drink but Liz tells him it's past closing. She sensibly sends him back to the shop, telling him that Angie might know something about screen-printing and she'll send Ang over as soon as she gets home from work. Steve stalks out, whinging he's sick of it, sick of it, his first flamin' day and he's already sick of it!

Vera and Ivy have tea at the Bettabuys cafeteria. Vera is muttering darkly about someone "sticking 'er nose in" and something being "spread all over" but when Ivy demands to know what she's stewing about, she refuses, telling Ivy that it's bad enough without Ivy knowing (and by implication, spreading) it too!

Reg's tiny mind has been running full tilt since his morning meeting with Curly. Now, in Bettabuys, he approaches him with an idea. Reg claims to believe that Curly didn't let his "innovative" Cheeses of the World idea slip to Kimberley, but a little "retail espionage" is an appealing idea if he's the one benefitting! He wants Curly to get Kimberley to reveal details of Crazy Cuts' Christmas Promotion. Curly quite reasonably accuses the vibrating, twitching little man of "cracking up".

Liz is as good as her word and brings Angie over the road to have a look at Steve's screen-printing problem. It turns out, surprise surprise, that Mike Baldwin has bought cheap materials and the stencil has been ruined. Angie agrees to help Steve cut a new stencil and get the 50-shirt order done by his deadline.

Don meets his mate, Frank, at a casino. Frank makes some cracks about Ivy but Don still seems to feel some loyalty to her, telling Frank to lay off. Ivy is his problem and if there are any cracks to be made, he'll make them. Frank has spotted two rather tarted up women about their age sitting in a corner and eagerly encourages Don to join them. Don is highly reluctant but Frank cajoles him until he convinces Don.

Derek buys Ken a drink at the Rovers and threatens him with the occasional lunch together if Derek gets the job he's interviewed for. Ken looks politely terrified at the prospect.

Back at the Casino, one of the ladies with the candy-floss hair is speaking. "So don't tell me," she says cynically. "You're both married. But your wives don't understand you. And for the fun you have at home, you might as well be on your own." "Not quite as simple as that, love," Don replies uncomfortably. As for Frank, he cheerfully admits it's "spot on". One of the women reveals she's married too but hopes her husband is home in bed, asleep. Frank eagerly suggests they go on to a club. The women go to freshen up and while they're away, Don firmly tells Frank that he's "not interested in being the oldest swinger in town" in spite of Frank's coaxing.

Mike pops in the Rovers and tells Liz that Steve did a good job on the tees, but comments on his social life - that Angie Freeman being underfoot. He'd have thought Steve was a bit young for her, but when you look like Steve he supposes you can "pull anything". (So is _this_ when Steve was allegedly really really attractive?) Steve and Angie come in and Steve offers to buy Angie a pint in thanks. Mike passes them on the way out. Date whoever you want, he says slyly to Steve, as long as the work is done! Angie rolls her eyes and needs the pint more than ever.

Curly and Kim are sitting in a booth and Curly is earnestly trying to convince Kimberley to go along with some plot. She is resisting, saying she'd feel silly, and anyway not even Reg would be *that* stupid. "I'd like to bet on it," replies Curly unhesitatingly. Just then Reg arrives and giggles that the pair look "very conspiratorial". Curly tells Reg to join them - he coincidentally has a drink there all ready for Reg - and leans over to say that Kimberley has something to reveal... the Crazy Cuts Christmas Promotion!!! Reg's eyes nearly pop out of his head as he warns them to keep it down - "the walls have ears". What is it? "Topless checkout girls," says Kim. "We'll all be topless, and the men will be wearing a sprig of holly and a Santa hat!" (Ouch! Have you ever handled holly?) Reg is beside himself with righteous indignation. It's obscene, he sputters. Exploitation. An outrage! He'll lodge a complaint! Curly can no longer contain himself and begins laughing out loud. A furious Reg gets up and tries to leave with his dignity intact - not forgetting to take his drink!

A strange man has been in the Rovers all evening. In a slightly accented voice, he earlier asked Jack for a beer. When asked what kind, he pointed to the mug in the hand of the drinker next to him and replied, "One like that - with a handle!" Only smaller, it turns out, and Jack complains to Liz that the odd little fellow's been nursing a half-pint all night. "Ask him if he want a teaspoon," he quips. Now the man approaches the bar hesitantly. He is looking for Percy Sugden, he says. He understands he lives in this area. He wants to thank him for something that happened fifty years ago - at El Alamein. Jack and Liz exchange uncomfortable glances before Jack finally says no, he doesn't know anyone by that name. (Why?)

Ivy has dozed off in a chair when Don returns, waking her. It's only quarter to ten - he's early, she commments. Did he have a good time? Yeah, says Don, then remembering he wants to maintain his devil-may-care attitude he says much too enthusiastically that Yeah! He had a Great Time! Great Time! Could've bopped all night! Ivy just gently says she's happy for him, and offers to make him a sandwich before she goes to bed.

In spite of the late hour, Alf stops by Vera's to drop Lisa's magazines to her. Vera invites him to come in, but he's off to the Rover's for a drink. After he leaves, Lisa makes the mistake of saying wistfully that she wouldn't mind going to the Rover's herself. "Oh wouldn't ya?" Vera nearly sneers. She goes on to ask Lisa who she went to t'Rovers with last week. Lisa names some of the local lads... Kev, and Des, whose name Vera pounces on. She tell Lisa she must think about how things look - the time she is spending with Des. People are talking, she says, but she refuses to say who or what they are saying. A very distressed Lisa says that Vera would like her to stay in night after night, never speaking to a flaming soul, but she won't. As she rushes out of the room, she turns to make a final point - "It's your Terry that's in prison, not me!"

ronniecat

Frank Haskins: BRYN ELLIS Katie: ANNA JASKOLKA Sandra: VIVIEN SINCLAIRE Klaus Muller: CARL DUERING
Written by STEPHEN MALLATRATT Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Wednesday (3453, Wednesday 21 October 1992)

Today's episode opens in the Kabin, which is abuzz with numerous customers. While Mavis and Rita are busy ringing-up sales, Derek, seemingly unaware of the brisk business, is pouring through a magazine article on "interviewing skills." When Rita suggests he take the rest of the morning off to study the article more closely at home, Derek is hesitant to leave on the grounds that they might need his help!

Ready for another day of work, Ivy stops by Vera's place and impatiently waits for her friend. Vera confides that she's worried about Lisa and Des, and wonders if they're not getting too friendly with each other. Ivy thinks it's just a case of Lisa needing friends her own age, but Vera worries that Des will take advantage of the situation.

Meanwhile, Lisa is out with the baby and bumps into Des at the Kabin. Once again, Des suggests that they meet at the Rover's Return for drinks, but Lisa doesn't know where she'll find a sitter since she isn't sure where she stands with Vera.

In a quick time leap, it is obviously lunch time at the Rover's Return. Alf asks Jack about Don Brennan, and in Jack's opinion, Don's in need of a new brain since he agreed to move back in with Ivy. Nearby, Kevin and Steve discuss Mike Baldwin, who they both agree will never be accused of overpaying his staff. Kevin is feeling encouraged because Mike has scheduled an interview tomorrow with a mechanic to assist him at the garage. At the bar, Percy is frustrated by the fine print in the bus schedule to Blackpool, where he is planning to attend the El Allemagne celebration. Jack tells him a bloke was in the day before, looking for him, but in response to Percy's questions can't tell him who the fellow was or where he was from.

Lisa asks Vera if she can babysit for her, but Vera has plans to go to the bingo with Ivy. Vera claims that if it were anyone else, she'd cancel, but given what Ivy's been through, she doesn't feel it would be right to let down her friend. She hopes Lisa understands. Lisa, clearly dejected by Vera's priorities, claims that she does understand, but her sarcastic tone tells us otherwise.

On the stage of the auditorium of Weatherfield Comprehensive, Derek is being interviewed for the assistant caretakers' position by Mrs. Jeffers and the caretaking officer. Effusive in all his answers, Derek assures his interviewers that he is "fit as an ox," capable of lifting heavy loads and working outside in all sorts of weather. The caretaking officer is suspicious, and when he suggests the job might not be challenging enough for him, Derek waxes eloquent on the importance of providing young people with a clean environment in which to study. He characterizes himself as a "team player," but has to sheepishly admit that he currently works with a "team" of three in his present position at the Kabin. Mrs. Jeffers seems impressed with Derek's responses, but the caretaking officer returns again to his own doubts that Derek is over-qualified for the job. At that point, Derek quietly admits that there isn't much "out there" for a man of his age. He makes it clear that he needs to work -- for the money and for his own dignity. Mrs. Jeffers tells Derek that there are other applicants who must be interviewed before a decision can be made.

Percy Sugden peeks out his bedroom window and observes an elderly gentleman on the street below, who is being directed to Percy's door. As the man crosses the street towards Emily's home, Percy closes the curtains. Moments later, Percy is downstairs where Corporal Klaus Muller introduces himself. Percy rather rudely makes it clear to the man that he doesn't remember him, but Klaus says that he and Percy have "unfinished business."

Derek bounces into the Kabin, smiling from ear to ear, with the news that he landed the job as assistant caretaker. He tells Mavis that his experience in recycling at Pendlebury's Paper Products was what swung things in his favour, and now he can't wait to see Jim MacDonald to rub his nose in it. As he goes off to change out of his business suit, Mavis wonders aloud if this new job will change Derek. She laughs when Rita quips, "we can only hope."

Back at Emily's, Klaus Muller explains that in l942, as a prisoner of war, he was very afraid of how he would be treated. Percy changed all that, though. He was the camp cook, and Klaus soon realized that he and his compatriots were being fed as well as the British soldiers. Emily is impressed by this bit of news, but Percy insists that he was only following the Geneva Convention, and wasn't being generous. Klaus goes on about Percy's excellent cooking, claiming he wants a few of his recipes, but Percy, who has been less than friendly throughout, insists he'll happily provide the recipes if Klaus will take them and go. Emily is obviously embarrassed by Percy's attitude. Klaus won't be put off though, and asks what Percy did after the war, to which the response is that he worked in a bakery until his retirement, when he took up work at the local community center. Klaus is anxious to attend the upcoming tribute for those who were at El Allemagne until Emily informs him that Percy won't be attending the one in his own area. Meanwhile, Klaus insists on buying them a drink.

Lisa meets Des on the street and rather dejectedly informs him that she won't be able to meet him for a drink because she can't get a sitter. She also admits that she doesn't know whether to believe that Vera is busy, or if she has supplied an excuse to prevent her from socializing.

At the Rover's Return, Percy, Klaus and Emily find a table while Derek makes a bee-line for Jim MacDonald, who is leaning on the bar. He proudly informs Jim that he landed the job as assistant caretaker, and while Jim admits to being surprised, he congratulates him and offers to buy him a drink. Jim wonders if his rudeness provoked Derek into getting the job, and Derek laughingly admits that that might well be the case. Jim apologizes for his past remarks and confesses that he honestly didn't believe Derek would be interested in that sort of work, leaving Derek to ponder whether he's done the right thing.

Percy and Klaus reminisce on their war days, and Klaus brings up the name of Bill Sykes, one of Percy's pals. Klaus tells Percy that Bill suddenly got quite ill, asked for a glass of cold water, and died. Percy is shocked by this bit of news, and is touched when Klaus produces a picture of Bill and tells Percy to keep it. Percy also remembers all the hours the prisoners spent polishing plates, and Klaus contends that he could taste the polish for weeks after the war ended. Percy informs him that the plates were discarded at the end of the war, so all their work was for naught.

At Weatherfield Comprehensive, Ken Barlow bumps into Maggie Redman who is weighted-down with many bouquets of flowers for the flower-arranging course she teaches. Ken helps her with the load and when he offers a quick drink before her class, she accepts.

Back at the Rover's Return, Klaus and Percy are getting quite tipsy as they discuss the service that is to take place the following day. Klaus assures Percy that he won't tell a soul about his "relationship" with Mrs. Bishop until Percy puts him straight that she is simply his landlady. Klaus immediately apologises to Emily, who cheerfully dismisses the misunderstanding as she heads for home. Klaus informs Percy that he has a bottle of Schnapps back at Emily's, and hopes Percy will partake of a few glasses with him.

Maggie and Ken enjoy a quiet drink and discuss Mark's school work. They both bemoan the music that kids enjoy, and Maggie asks Ken about his relationship with Tracy. Ken admits that he sees Tracy regularly, causing Maggie to observe that Mark is struggling with the loss of his father. As she heads back to the school, Ken asks if she'd be interested in going to the movies with him the following night. Maggie accepts and Ken says he'll call her.

Klaus and Percy have retired to Emily's living room, where they are obviously well into the bottle of Schnapps (Percy had no idea it was made from potatoes). While they continue to discuss their war days, Emily comes into the living room to bid them goodnight. As she mounts the stairs to her bedroom, she smiles when she hears them singing a broken German version of "Lily Marlene."

Heather Morlan

Mrs. Jeffers: ROMY BASKERVILLE Caretaking Officer: JEREMY PEARCE Klaus Muller: CARL DUERING Maggie Redman: JILL KERMAN
Written by MARTIN ALLEN Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Thursday (3454, Friday 23 October 1992)

Poor Lisa is at the end of her rope at the hands and lungs of a bickering Jack and Vera. Vera's trying to distract Lisa with the offer of a drive out to the country while Jack doesn't want to get involved. It wasn't what Lisa wanted as a diversion and finally she loses her temper and shouts at Vera.

Mrs. Bishop stealthily opens the drapes and uncovers the budgie because Klaus is snoring on the settee after his and Percy's drunken reminiscing last night. We hear her knocking on Mr. Sugden's door trying to wake him but she was unsuccessful we later find out.

Ivy offers to take Don out for a casual meal tonight but he disappoints her by pretending he might have to work. He doesn't want to encourage too much togetherness, it looks like. When Ivy arrives on Vera's doorstep, Lisa decides to satisfy her suspicions and she finds out that Ivy has no recollection of making a bingo date with Vera who stonily insists she'll go by herself even if Ivy doesn't accompany her, not wanting to give Lisa any cause for socializing with that Des Barnes.

It's Derek's last day at the Kabin and as usual, is getting under Mavis and Rita's feet so Rita offers him the rest of the day off. He's pleased since there was some further research he wanted to do before starting his job on Monday. (Like what? Broom pushing in the 90's?) He cheerfully leaves with a mission while Raquel mentions to Mavis how Derek had seemed insulted when first offered the possibility of this job. Mavis sticks up for her man though, and explains that Derek now believes there is more to caretaking than he thought and since it takes organization skills, he's looking at it as a new challenge. Raquel reads out loud >from the horoscope page which seems to imply a somewhat lascivious day in store for Derek. Rita doesn't believe in that sort of thing, placing her faith more appropriately in face cream that promises to take your wrinkles away (I see her faith was misplaced, then.) Raquel tells them that she's a Gemini, same as Marilyn Monroe. "Marilyn Monroe was a Gemini like me, we're very complex!" LOL She takes off just as Lisa comes in full of the woes of being related to Jack and Vera and wishes to Rita that she had married an orphan. Oh they aren't so bad really but Rita accurately diagnoses a case if "Living with your in-law-itis".

Des asks Phyllis to babysit Tom so that Lisa can have a night out but Phyllis is full of disapproval and for once agrees with Vera's stance. She is able to resist Des's attempts to charm her and won't do it.

Klaus is up and painfully sipping on a cup of tea as a rather inadequate hangover remedy. Percy rushes in, horrified that he's overslept and is on the verge of missing the El Alamein parade that he said wasn't going to go to yesterday. He and Klaus are still on speaking terms and yes, fans, the unthinkable has happened. Even in the cold, sober light of day, Percy has bonded and become friends with the enemy! Later Klaus bids Sergeant Sugden and Mrs. Bishop a very fond farewell, offering to be pen friends with Emily. Percy tries to be his usual gruff self, grudgingly agreeing with Emily that Klaus is all right for a foreigner but a shadow of a smile passes under that little moustache as Klaus drives away in the taxi.

Raquel starts organizing a cheer-up do for Lisa in the pub for tonight. She stops in the garage to ask Kevin if he and Sally would like to come. Kevin says they probably will if they can get a sitter. A dark haired man interrupts with a flirtatious word for Raquel who appreciates the efforts. This is Doug Murray who's come for an interview for the mechanic job. Kevin has a look over his C.V. and gives him a perfunctory (whoa, the spell checker tells me I got that one right on the first try!) interview, more concerned with Doug's tea brewing abilities, being satisfied with his experience and explanations of the gaps in his career. Mike comes by for a meet and greet and after a cursory look at the C.V. tells Kevin it's up to him really so Kevin hires Doug on the spot.

Raquel has brought some cream buns with her on a visit to Lisa (must be her morning off). The women chat, Lisa ruefully describing the way she used to be. Not taking guff off anyone and doing what she wanted to do, paying no mind to her parents' disapproval. Raquel can identify with that one. Now since Tom was born, Lisa finds herself caving in to Vera all the time. She hardly recognizes herself. Raquel encourages Lisa to live her own life but Lisa doesn't even know what her life is anymore. "By 'eck, Petal, you *are* on a downer, aren't yer? 'Ave another éclair!" Raquel offers. (Sounds like a good plan to me!)

Later Raquel runs across and has a go at persuading Phyllis to babysit, having no idea Des has already tried the same thing. But hearing that there will be a party of friends, Phyllis acquiesces and takes pity on the housebound Lisa and agrees. What a star! Though Phyllis doesn't look like she entirely agrees with the situation, Des is chuffed when he gets home and finds her there and hears why.

We hear Deirdre, in an obvious plot device heralding yet another disastrous relationship, moan about how boring her life is lately. Not once but twice today. First time in the pub at dinner to Ken who declines her invite for a drink tonight as he has something else on (Maggy). Later Deirdre has a drink with Mavis, Derek and Rita to celebrate Derek's job and looks enviously on the laughing group of young people, remembering how she used to let her hair down and have a flirt and wondering where those days have gone (the way of that helmet head of a perm, ladeh! You could let your hair down a lot easier if you got rid of those awful curls!) Rita reminds her that she found love again with Ted but Deirdre just moans some more about becoming a middle aged divorced mother.

Raquel's words have obviously had some effect on Lisa because she is defiantly getting ready to go out, standing up to Vera's inquisition and pleas to Jack to get Lisa to tell her where she's going. Lisa insists she doesn't have to tell them as it's none of their business how she lives her life. Vera reminds her of her husband and baby but Lisa doesn't plan on forgetting them, she just doesn't want to be walled up in Number 9 for the next three years! (Vera, if you keep pushing, you'll push a little too hard and Des will end up picking up the pieces!!)

Ken and Maggy go to the pictures and end up in a nice pub for a drink afterward. I have to say I was a bit distracted at first by the words that appeared to be coming out of the couple I was watching on the right side of the screen. They were sitting about halfway back in the set but the words didn't match what they seemed to be saying until I noticed Ken and Maggy WAY back in the left hand corner of the pub!!! Ah! Anyway, they were discussing the awkwardness of re-entering the dating scene as a widow and divorce respectively. They mention their own bad decisions and mistakes in their pasts, Maggy telling Ken about how her husband rescued her from one of those bad decisions (Mike Baldwin but she doesn't tell Ken that). Ken mentions a bad decision as the cause of his divorce (the affair with Wendy Crozier but he doesn't tell Maggy that!)

There is some smart repartee in the pub tonight that predates Raquel's Dumb Blonde period (Ok, she's a dumb blonde now but she later became Really Dumb). She, Kevin and Curly are talking about being friends with someone but not being sexually attracted to them. Raquel points out that she likes Curly but isn't attracted to him. Jack leans in for a leer and asks how she feels about him. She glances over her shoulder disdainfully and flips "In your case, it's neither!" Zing!!! And she gets another shot in later at the absent Angie's expense. Kevin's there but Sally must have stayed home with the baby. Des and Lisa come in and the laughter beings which was when Deirdre came by on her moanfest to Rita that I told you about earlier.

Well the Fairy Godmother routine had an unexpected result. Over at Des's there is an insistent, staccato knocking at the door. Phyllis opens the door to find a tight lipped Bingo-less Vera who is surprised to see Phyllis there. She must have thought she was going to catch Des and Lisa doing things they ought not to be doing but decides Phyllis must be covering and they're upstairs while she minds the baby! (LOL Phyllis as the street Madam!) Phyllis protests but Vera is not inclined to believe her so Phyllis hollers at Mavis to mind the baby and drags Vera across the road to prove that Lisa is in the pub surrounded by friends (men friend, mind you, which doesn't go unnoticed by Vera who is not appeased and launches into an attack on her defiant daughter-in-law who slangs right back on her feet. Jack mutters to Raquel, hoping her Fairy Godmother suit is bullet proof!

Diane Johnston

First appearance of Doug Murray: BRIAN HIBBERD Last appearance of Klaus Muller: CARL DUERING
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Friday (3455, Monday 26 October 1992)

Derek is just leaving to start his new job at the school this morning and stops into the Kabin for a farewell to Mavis. She fusses over him, telling him she's packed his favourite, chopped hard boiled egg sandwiches with a little mayonnaise. But what's this? Derek seems to have cold feet all of a sudden - he expresses the worry that he may be making a mistake - it's such a "menial" job, after all. Rita and Mavis do their best to encourage him, the job is what you make of it and he won't find out if he likes it until he tries! With newfound enthusiasm, Derek agrees to press on and sets out with a smile on his face. After he leaves, Mavis says she wonders whether she should have walked him as far as the school gate... "You wouldn't want the other kids laughing at him, would you?" deadpans Rita. "Oh, no!" answers Mavis, then, "What do you mean, 'the other kids'?"

Vera is giving Lisa the cold shoulder this morning. As she gets ready for work, Lisa and Jack fuss over the baby but Vera ignores all three of them, remaining stone-faced even when her daughter-in-law offers a kiss from little Tommy. When she leaves, Lisa tells Jack that she hates the quarrelling but she believes Vera was wrong last night the way she came in to the Rovers and forced a showdown. Jack urges her to ignore Vera's mood until it passes (that's how he handles it) but Lisa asks him to have a word with her for her. He agrees, though he can't see much point in it.

On his first morning at the garage, Doug shows up right on time, even having stopped for a quart of milk on his way. Getting right down to business (the first brew-up of the day) he asks Kevin about the woman in the Corner Shop. Kevin, thinking he means Audreh, tells him that would be "the gaffer's wife". But no, Doug thinks this one is a bit young for the "gaffer". The one he is talking about is "in her mid 30s, glasses, women's lib type". Kevin establishes that he must mean Deirdre, and cracks a joke about Doug taking in the local scenery.

The Platts have overslept today. As Gail and Martin rush around getting the kids dressed and fed, Ivy comes to the door wanting a quick word. Gail explains they are rushed but Ivy just wants to say she is sorry for the way she's been behaving lately. She especially regrets the scene in the Rovers and the "stupid" things she said. Gail tells her to forget it and tries to continue to get the kids ready but Ivy stops her again to ask if she might pop around one night. Gail readily assents and Ivy is happily on her way again. After Martin shows her out, Gail quips that she doesn't know which is worse - "Ivy, fell out, or Ivy, let's all be buddies"!

Derek arrives at his new job and gets off to a less than perfect start with his new supervisor, calling him "Mr. Potts" instead of "Councillor Potts" as is his due. Potts unceremoniously makes it clear to Derek that his council duties come first and that he needs someone he can totally rely on. Derek asserts that he's never been faulted for his conscientiousness, but to Potts, that's all beside the point. He wanted his sister's lad for this job, he explains curtly, making the assumption that Derek must have "friends" on the selection board. Derek assures him he won the job fair and square but Potts doesn't credit it, warning that he too has "friends"!

As Lisa finishes up little Tommy's bath, Des arrives for a quick word. Jack shows him in and stays in the background while he talks to Lisa about the upset in the pub last night. He asks if Vera is already gone, to which Jack replies, "If she were here, you'd be running down Coronation Street with a chip pan bouncing off yer skull!" Des says that Vera was mistaken in her assumptions but Jack answers that it's no good telling him - Vera's the one to be convinced. Des asks Lisa if they might talk about it later over a drink but she wisely turns him down, saying she thinks it best if they just let it blow over while Vera cools off. After Des leaves, Jack advises Lisa *not* to tell Vera that Des came by and she agrees.

Derek's first task in his new position is to shovel a huge pile of coal down to the boiler room. While he's slogging away during recess, one of the children hurls a rock at him. It narrowly misses the target but indignant at the assault, Derek he gives chase. While he's running after the young hooligan, another boy dashes in and takes his shovel!

At this very moment, Mavis is imagining Derek in his new job, probably just starting to eat the lunch she packed for him... She fondly mentions to Rita the little note of encouragement she tucked in with it, declining to reveal what she wrote, except "private things", "in our own private language..." She reflects that it's difficult to start a new job, and Rita agrees but says she thinks this one is well within Derek's capabilities. Mavis knows it is but she also knows that Derek needs to "extend himself". But Rita says she has no doubt the kids will "keep him on his toes"!

As Deirdre starts preparing their supper, Tracy comes in to ask if she can go to the disco the school is having. Deirdre gives her permission, even to the new frock Tracy requests, as she has "nothing" to wear. Tracy thanks her mother, saying she thinks she's "quite human" sometimes, which comment Deirdre asks to have in writing!

Having survived the coal shifting (barely), Derek is back in the custodian's office, receiving instruction from Councillor Potts on the correct and acceptable practice of safeguarding the all important keys. Potts addresses Derek as though he's mentally deficient and Derek responds by assuming his 'wounded' posture: "I can understand simple instructions you know". Potts snaps back, "Oh... I forgot I was dealing with a member of the intelligentsia!" Reverting to his condescending tone, he stresses the importance of following the "tried and true" routine as regards the keys. To emphasize his point, Potts mentions that the students are a "light fingered bunch". Derek answers flatly that he knows, they stole his shovel. "They stole your shovel?! Do you know what those shovels cost?!" Potts bellows. "Don't worry, I got it back!" Derek answers defensively. Just when Derek ventures to think the humiliation has come to an end, Potts announces that he found *this*, (waving a little piece of paper), it must have fallen out of Derek's lunch bag. Without further ado, Potts examines the note, "Who is *Little Lumpkin*?" he asks sadistically.

As Angie catnaps on the sofa, Curly rises to answer the door. It's Kim and she's carrying a big box. She can barely contain her excitement as she explains that "Daddy" has dropped her off so that she can share the surprise with Curly. As they move to the sofa he takes a guess at what's in the box, could it be a tent? "Silly! What would we want a tent for?!" she laughs. Curly shrugs, "Camping?" Angie interjects cynically, "You'll be lucky!" Unable to keep it to herself a moment longer, Kimberly opens the box to reveal -- a rug!!! Well, a rug-hooking kit, anyway. "And look - it comes with *two* hooks! We can make it together!!" she enthuses. "Oh Curly, aren't you just thrilled to bits!" Curly does his best to manage a smile but you can see he's not *quite* "thrilled to bits"...

As Ivy and Don share a quiet supper, he casually breaks his plans to her, he'll be playing cards tonight with Frank and some of the lads. Ivy is quick to suggest they can have their game here at the house - she even volunteers to get in some beer and sandwiches for them. But when Don says it'll be a late night, that they'll play over at his place and he'll very likely sleep there after, she does her best to accept the news gracefully, trying to hide her disappointment.

The rug-hooking is underway now, Curly and his intended, side by side on the sofa, contentedly hooking away. He pokes his finger, not for the first time, and complains, also not for the first time. She reckons he'll be okay once he gets used to it, and if they want the rug to be ready in time for their April wedding, they'll have to keep at it! Citing an incidental benefit to the project, Kimberly reflects on "all the money" they'll be saving by doing this instead of wasting it in the pub! Curly meekly answers that he doesn't see going to the pub as a "waste" but Kim can see right through his restraint: "You just don't like admitting how much *fun* this is!" she giggles.

In the Rovers, Raquel's inquiry to Vera about Lisa's whereabouts is met with hostility: "She's home with her baby where she should be!" Raquel points out that she doesn't think Vera is being very fair, expecting Lisa to stop home all the time but Vera answers that she has to protect her from people like Des Barnes who is "only after one thing"! Raquel jumps to Des' defense but Vera cuts her down with, "Oh yeah - *you* know him! You didn't know when he was sliding you out so he could slide his wife back in!" Hurt by the remark, Raquel pushes past Vera without reply.

Seated at a small table, Derek unburdens to Mavis and Rita about the hostility shown him by his new boss. Convinced he is trying to force him to resign, Derek says he is all the more determined to stick it out. Rita's glib suggestion that a note from Mavis might help is ignored by Mavis but serves to remind Derek to request that she please, *please* not pack any more notes in his lunch!

At the bar, Deirdre tells Ken about Tracy's plans to go to the school disco, mentioning the expense of the new dress. Ken offers to pay half the cost and Deirdre accepts though she claims that isn't why she brought it up. She asks whether Ken will be supervising the dance but he says he won't as he has another engagement.

Kevin and Doug come into the pub and Doug flirts briefly with Raquel, prompting Kevin to remark that she is a bit young for him. Doug then turns his attentions to Deirdre, offering to buy her a drink, which she politely declines.

After retiring for the night, Martin and Gail are awoken by the phone ringing. It's Carmel and she's very upset. Martin hands the phone to Gail, relaying that there was a prowler at the nurses' residence. As Gail takes the phone, she urges Carmel to be calm, and offers to have Martin go over and pick her up.

True to form, Ivy couldn't face the night alone without Don, so she's drunk herself into a stupor and passed out in front of the telly. Groggily, she rouses herself to pour another drink from the bottle, the better half of which is gone. She guzzles from the glass without pausing for air, something one usually only attempts with water! (Or gin? LOL)

Meanwhile, as Don and his cronies play cards, his radar seems to kick in. He tells the boys he wants to break up the game a bit early, that he has "somewhere" to go. Frank kids him about having a girlfriend waiting but Don says it's nothing as exciting as that, he just has to check up on summat...

Carmel has been fetched safely back to the Platts' by now and as she sips the tea Gail has made her, she recounts the horror of hearing a noise in the corridor and opening the door to find a strange man scratching at one of the doors. She reckons she must have made a sound, as the man turned and saw her, upon which she screamed and slammed the door shut. "I'd have done exactly the same thing!" Gail consoles her. Martin seems to remember hearing that one of the girls was attacked in the residence last year and Carmel confirms that it happened. She says that one of the other girls rang the police after tonight's intrusion but she still dreads going back to the place. When Gail and Martin insist that she stop and spend the night on their settee, Carmel eagerly accepts, telling them they are "the nicest people in the world".

With trepidation, Don lets himself into the house. As he enters the livingroom, he sees Ivy crashed on the couch, the remnants of her drunken evening in plain evidence. In shocked disgust, he calls to her, "Ivy! You're stinking paralytic drunk!" Hearing his voice, she attempts to rouse herself but falls back on the cushion in a dead sleep...

Anita Belanger

Harry Potts RUSSELL DIXON Frank Haskins BRYN ELLIS
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by IAN WHITE


Originally transmitted: 28, 30 October; 2, 4 & 6 November 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 10 - Friday 14 January 2000
Episode Numbers: 3456 - 3460

Monday (3456, Wednesday 28 October 1992)

It sure seems like Death Row on Coronation street today. Everyone seems to be either at the end of their tether or very, very bleak indeed!

Ivy is in rough shape this morning (I'll say, those black roots are enough to make me queasy and I have a cast iron stomach!) Don has no sympathy either. In fact he's raking her over the coals. He stays out one night and she goes back to drinking. He figures she can't help herself anymore and even insinuates the A-word! All Ivy can do is sigh, apologize and insist she's not an alcoholic. She goes out for a walk to clear her head while Don mutters about her denial, knowing she'll never admit she has a drink problem.

Carmel is helping with the kids this morning, having spent the night on the settee after the residence prowler incident last night. She bravely insists she's going back to the room tonight but Martin believes she is still afraid. He brings her back to the house after work on the pretext that he didn't want to be seen carrying flowers home. Carmel presents the bouquet to Gail in thanks. She's invited for her tea. Martin murmurs to Gail in the kitchen that though ought to offer her the settee again tonight later on and Gail smiles and tells him he really is a nice man. Carmel also offers to sit for them.

Vera's still cool towards Lisa and making sly insinuations and they end up arguing over her friendship with Des again. Ivy's managed to collect herself and arrives for a lift to work not looking very steady. As Vera leaves for work she snipes at Lisa to look to her conscience. This of course only gets Lisa's back up further as she sets her lips in determination. Jack tries to soothe Lisa's frayed nerves, beseeching her to ignore Vera like he does but it's no use. Later in the day Jack discovers that Lisa has tried to telephone her parents to see if she can move back home. She didn't get through so Jack persuades her to hold off until he's had a chance to talk to Vera and get her to see reason. Lisa's doubtful but agrees.

Derek and Councilor Harry have their lunch in the office and discuss the caretaking trade. It seems caretaking is in Harry's blood, from father to son. He asks Derek about his father and Derek reveals his father was a clerk at a bank, Senior clerk by the time he retired, Derek adds proudly. Derek earnestly believes that any job can be learned but Harry takes a dim view. In fact, Harry is nearly militant about it and insists Sodom and Gomorrah fell due to "Slack caretaking" "And it can happen here if we're not vigilant!" LOL!!! Brilliant!! Derek is put in charge for the duration of Harry's council meeting and during that time he first makes peace with Nigel the paper lad, the one that spearheaded the strike when Derek was managing the shop awhile back. Sucked in, Derek is taken aback when he discovers that a younger girl has been duped into calling him Mr. CarpetheadÖ by Nigel and he whines about it to Ken on the schoolground. Ken, give the man his due, manages to contain his chuckles and promises to have a word with Nigel. Derek goes away, somewhat mollified.

Out behind Bettabuys, Vera is nursing Ivy who is desperately trying to keep from heaving her morning toast (we saw her trying to force some down earlier, at home) all over the parking lot. Curly is persuaded to look the other way but Vera scolds Ivy for doing this to herself every time Don leaves the house.

Deirdre's in the Kabin paying her bill when Doug comes in. He chats her up, flirting and flattering. Deirdre holds her own and I think rather enjoys the attention. After he leaves, Mavis tut-tut's over his presumption but Deirdre renders Mavis temporarily speechless when she winds her up, "He probably fancies me and wants to ask me on a dirty weekend" Mavis's face was a treat as she slowly realized what Deirdre said and what it meant! LOL!

Tracy has bought a new dress for her school disco and Deirdre is having a hard time persuading her to model it for her. Tracy seems worried that her mother will make her take it back. No wonder! She comes into the room tentatively. The dress is low cut but not objectionably so, deep burgundy, above the knee but longer than a serviette, and is fitted quite close to Tracy's emerging womanly figure (but the hair is still hanging down all over her face!) Deirdre catches her breath and says Tracy looks lovely! Eh? No she won't make her take it back and thoroughly approves though has come over all emotional at how her daughter is growing up and subjects Tracy to a proud-mum hug.

Kimberly retrieves the rug kit from the back of the closet where Curly had stashed it. Honestly, someone would think you didn't want anyone to find it. Would they, he drolly asks, looking very much like a condemned man. They settle in, on the floor behind the sofa for some reason, for another evening of fun and leisure. Kim is intent on finishing the rug before they get married, using every waking spare minute they have and then they can always do more for the other rooms in the house. Curly looks very much like a condemned man. Oh sorry, I said that already didn't I? Well it just bears saying twice, I felt so sorry for him! Angie arrives home and Curly tosses her a ball of wool to get stuck in but Kim insists that it won't mean the same if it isn't just the two of them working. Angie tosses the wool back but tells them it's nice that they're resurrecting the old heritage crafts. Surprised that Angie didn't have anything derogatory to say (she didn't catch the sarcasm) Kimberly looks doubtful and thinks you never know where you are with Angie, "I couldn't be doing with that!" At bit later, Kim turns down Angie's invite to the pub so Curly promises to meet her later after Kimberly is gone home. Ah, but now that she's engaged, she doesn't have to be home every single night to have Ovaltine with Mummy and Daddy, Kimberly seductively whines. (don't ask! That's as sexy as she gets!) Curly's interest is aroused but he must get stuck in to complete another inch of rug hooking first! (oh I see, she's just using her feminine wiles to get that thing finished!)

Lisa goes upstairs to put the baby down, leaving Jack to have a word with Vera, hissing at her that Lisa is about to decamp, laying the blame at Vera's feet. Vera looks like she's just heard the death sentence, horrified but even though Jack warns her, she can't help but defend herself, she has to say how she feels. No she doesn't, nobody else does so why should she? Even though Vera is contrite she nearly starts up on the Des Barnes rant again before Jack tells her she's had fair warning. Lisa will leave and take Tommy with her if Vera can't control her mouth. Jack goes off to work and Vera frets in the kitchen. When Lisa comes back downstairs later, Vera offers her some tea and an apology, well it's just the way it comes out you see. She even concedes that Lisa has to have friends her own age, doesn't' mind if Lisa suns the baby in Des's garden and even approves of drinks in the Rovers if.. no, there's me mouth again. Lisa urges her to say what's on her mind. Well, as long as Des knows that's all it is, friendship. Lisa agrees to stay for now and tells Vera that she is lucky to have Jack as a husband (?) as he stuck his oar in because he knew she'd be upset.

In the pub later, Raquel gets stroppy with Jack when he asks her if Des has a new girlfriend. Ken tells Derek he talked to Nigel but can't guarantee an apology face to face. He advises Derek not to make an issue out of it or the nickname will just stick. Thus it is that Derek has to admit to Mavis that Nigel called him Carpethead. Mavis looks as if she's going to laugh but before she can point out the humour in it, she sees that Derek does not see what's so funny and she drops the subject. Since Carmel is sitting, Martin and Gail are having a drink with Angie and discussing Carmel's current situation.

Down at number 5, Ivy has had a nap and feels much better for it. For about 5 minutes. Don, judge and jury, launches into the lecture about Ivy's drinking. They argue about who's fault it is that she drinks but Don's right, he doesn't exactly pour it down her throat does he? She admits that she has been drinking because she's terrified that he'll leave her alone but she insists she's not an alcoholic. Don admits defeat and proposes that he move back in permanently but the current arrangement of separate bedrooms holds. Ivy is delighted but Don hangs his head, another condemned man.

Diane Johnston

Nigel Chadwick: RICHARD REDPATH Harry Potts: RUSSELL DIXON Mandy Johnson: JO SMALL (though I have no idea who she is, must have been a customer in the shop or Kabin)
Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by IAN WHITE

Tuesday (3457, Friday 30 October 1992)

Don comes down the Brennan stairs and is annoyed to find Ivy has his breakfast ready. He makes it clear that "separate rooms, separate lives" is to be the rule if he is to stay. Her offer to make curtains for his room is similarly brusquely refused.

Carmel has spent the night at the Platts' and thanks Gail for allowing her to stay over. Gail thanks Carmel for babysitting, and offers her another night's accommodation if necessary, but Carmel assures her she's going to get sorted for a flat.

At Curly's, Kimberley - in her bathrobe - fusses over Curly's suit. Angie appears, unimpressed with this cozy domestic turn of Kimberley and Curly's relationship! Ang wonders what Curly plans to do for supper that day - if he'll be out she's not cooking, she'll eat at the Rovers. Curly suggests that they all eat at the Rovers, but Kimberley, ever the madcap, on hearing that her and Curly's meals will total £9, protests that they can't afford it - "that's eighteen packets of wool!" - so it seems dining out is off. The joys of hours spent rug-hooking, however, are free, and Kimberley merely simpers coyly when Angie asks if they will be having another passionate night "on the rug", then!

Jack strolls into the Duckworth kitchen, newspaper, toilet roll and mug of tea in hand, muttering to Vera about how cold it is out there. (So they still have the outdoor lavvie in late 1992, then.) He asks if Vera and Lisa have mended their fences and Vera says they have. In fact, she and Lisa are going to the Rovers tonight, and a reluctant Jack is pressed into babysitting for RTommeh on his night off.

Tracy is preparing for school. Deirdre asks if she is going to that night's disco dance with anyone in particular. In response to Tracy's noncommital answer Dreary says that whoever he is, be careful. Tracy asks Deirdre not to pick her up after the dance. Dreary says that, as Ken is working at the dance, perhaps he can give Tracy a ride home. "You'd better be kidding!" gasps a horrified Tracyluv.

Jack encounters Don bringing some of his belongings back to Ivy's. He helps Don carry a television into the house and tells his mate how glad he is he's back in the street. Don suggests they go out that night but Jack says he is babysitting Tommy. Don then says they can do it another time, any time Jack likes. When Jack wonders about Ivy's objections, Don assures Jack that Ivy will be no problem whatsoever. Jack says he tips his hat to Don - he doesn't know how he does it!

At school, Tracy approaches Ken to ask if he is in fact on duty for the disco that night. Ken says he is not and in fact he is taking a friend to dinner. Tracy shows zero interest in who this friend might be but is relieved that Ken won't be about for the dance. Ken walks on, encountering Derek, who is picking up trash with a spiked stick. In response to Ken's greeting Derek spits furiously, "Never mind teaching them English - you want to teach them to use a litter bin!" "Seems like you've settled in already," notes Ken. As Ken continues on, Head Caretaker Harry Potts (as opposed to lowly Assistant Caretaker Derek Wilton) calls Derek over. He shows Derek an ancient, clogged-up line marking machine. Once Derek unclogs the machine, he can paint the lines on the football field, and there's a game this afternoon, so make it quick!

In the Kabin, Kevin intimates to Rita that his new assistant Don is a bit of a ladies man. Mavis appears, telling Reet she's reserved a table for that evening at a nice restaurant. Derek has had a hard week under Mr. Potts' thumb and deserves a nice meal out.

Unfortunately at that very moment Potts is telling Derek he'll have to cancel his dinner plans for that evening. Someone has to open and close the school for the disco, and Potts has an environmental council meeting. "Can't one of the teachers do it?" pleads Derek. "You've got a lot to learn!" says Harry - teachers getting their hands on the Master Key is "the road to chaos". "Responsibility is power!" he reminds Derek. Derek sullenly asks if his working that night is "compulsory" and Potts replies that is isn't, but a refusal could be construed as "a dereliction of duty" - a disregard for security and a lack of appreciation for the plight of the unemployed! "There is no choice," says Derek stonily, agreeing to do it. Potts walks away, pleased, and Derek wanders absent-mindedly and unhappily across the football field, leaving a rambling, wriggling line of white paint in his wake!

We fast-forward to the evening and the disco in full swing. Tracy is bragging to her mate that she knows the DeeJay, Stuart Jackson. He's Mark Jackson's older brother, he's 20, and the other night he bought Tracy a drink. (Uh oh!) Debbie notes that he is looking at Tracy. "Ah know!" says Tracy excitedly.

Gail and Martin are watching footie on tv when Nick comes downstairs - he's just remembered he ripped his school trousers and they need to be repaired by tomorrow! This seems to remind Gail of how she'd like some help around the house and when Nick goes back upstairs she pitches her idea to Martin - she'd like Carmel to move in with them, at least until she finds permanent accommodations. Martin raises several objections, notably where will she sleep? Gail has that figured out - Carmel will share Sara Lou's room and David will move in with Nicky. Where will she study, then? Gail admits the arrangement wouldn't be perfect but urges Martin to think about it. Carmel could help with the kids and some light housekeeping. Martin agrees to think about it but says he won't mention it to Carmel just yet.

Jack and Tommeh are having a lovely evening in. Jack is holding his Grandson and singing to him (including a rendition of "My Way"). He reflects about his lost entertainment career, blaming his lack of success on Vera's lack of support. He talks of his dreams of stardom, and poignantly tells Tommy that if he'd become rich and famous, Tommy's dad wouldn't be in prison now, because Jack could have supplied him with a better life, "finishin' schools and so on". "You've got to do your own thing in life," he encourages Tommy, telling him not to forget it.

Derek informs the DeeJays that it's time for the disco to close down. Stuart tells the crowd there's time for one more slow one and turns things over to his mate "while I ask this young lady to dance". He comes through the crowd and walks up to Tracy and Debbie - and asks Debbie to dance! Poor embarrassed Tracy maintains her composure until Debbie and Stuart walk away, then flees the floor for a dark corner. That's where hapless Derek approaches her, telling her that the DeeJay knows his time is up and would Tracy tell him to close up shop?! He finally notices that Tracy is upset and asks if he can help. Tracy shouts tearfully at him to mind his own business and runs out.

Ken and Maggie are having dinner in a nice restaurant. They agree that the meal was most pleasant, and when Ken offers the option of going straight home or stopping for a quick drink on the way, Maggie agrees to the drink.

Vera, Angie and Lisa are playing dominoes in the pub. Des and Don enter and Des offers the ladies a drink. Vera immediately says that she and Lisa were leaving and gets up to go, practically dragging Lisa behind her. Lisa goes, albeit clearly reluctantly. At the Duckies', Jack is watching professional darts on TV with Tommy, regaling him with more tales of A Good Life For A Man ("a pint in one 'and and a set of darts in the other... aye, that's the life"). When Vera and Lisa arrive home he's reluctant to give Tommy up, but as Lisa takes Tommy to put him to bed Jack reminds the infant, "Now, you remember what I told ya!", as Vera eyes him suspiciously!

Ken and Maggie stop in Coronation Street. Maggie's wonders where they are and Ken says he thought they could have their drink at his local. Maggie looks over her shoulder. "The Rover's Return???" she says. Then she says that if Ken doesn't mind, she thinks she'd rather go home. She doesn't want a drink after all. Ken mistakes her hesitation for suspicion about the pub. "Honestly, it's not rough in there," he says. "It's a backstreet pub, but it's my local. It's a decent bunch. Well, one or two exceptions, but it's mainly a good crowd." When she insists that she'd rather not, he asks what the matter is. "Nothing - just take me home, Ken. Now!" A baffled Ken starts the car and drives away as the credits roll.

ronniecat

Harry Potts: RUSSELL DIXON Stuart Jackson: MARK SIMPKIN Debbie Dawson: JENNIE SEXSMITH Maggie Redmond: JILL KERMAN
Written by PHIL WOODS Directed by IAN WHITE

Wednesday (3458, Monday 2 November 1992)

Today's episode opens at the Cafe, where Alma is playing "devil's advocate" over Gail's idea of taking Carmel in as a lodger. Gail seems to think it could be an ideal situation since the kids love Carmel and they'd have a live-in baby-sitter -- and besides all that, it would only be temporary. Alma only wants Gail to consider all the pros and cons before taking the plunge.

At the Rover's Return, Raquel is excited about her date with Wayne, and as she tells it to Bet, they're going for a pizza first and then they're off to Wayne's sports club. Unimpressed, Bet characterizes Wayne as a "big-time spender," but the remark goes straight over Raquel's head (as usual). As Raquel goes off to her room to prepare for the date, Jack comes into the back room with a long face. His one night off was spent baby-sitting Tommy, so now he's wondering if Raquel could cover for him tonight. Bet tells him that Raquel has plans for an evening with Wayne, and while Jack grumbles, Bet reminds him that Raquel's dates with Wayne always put her in a good mood -- and the punters appreciate seeing her "smiling teeth." Jack mutters that if that's all that's required, he'd be happy to leave his in a glass on the bar!

Ken bumps into Maggie outside of the school where she's picking up Mark for a dental appointment. She apologises for her strange behaviour the night before and her unwillingness to go into the Rover's Return, but she claims it was only because she wanted to spend all of the date with Ken -- and not with other people in a bar. Ken is chuffed by this explanation, so when Maggie asks if he can come to her place for dinner the following evening, he happily accepts.

Back at the Rover's Return, Betty asks Jim MacDonald how Andy is getting on at university, and Jim responds that he's having a great time and is really enjoying his courses. Doug Murray comes in and when Raquel presents herself to take his order, Doug leerily comments that he's looking at Newton and Ridley's two best assets. Raquel is highly offended by his apparently sexist remark until Doug counters that he was referring to her eyes. "Fancy you noticing a thing like that" is Raquel's unbelievably naïve response.

Martin kicks the ball around in the backyard with Nicky and Mark (who apparently had a quick and painless dentist appointment). Before Martin goes back to his books, Mark asks if it's true that he's a "mate" of Wayne Farrell's. Crossing his fingers, Martin indicates that he and Wayne are "like that," so Mark asks if he could get his autograph.

Wayne, meanwhile, has arrived at the Rover's Return to pick up Raquel. Bet lets him in and offers him a drink while he waits, but Wayne declines on the grounds that he's in strict training. He's been practising all morning and had a long session of physiotherapy after. As Bet's eyebrows lift, Wayne points out that Debbie, his therapist, has a degree, to which Bet responds that she knew more about a fella's body by the time she was was 18 than Debbie will learn in a lifetime. As Raquel and Wayne prepare to leave, Bet asks if Raquel will be back later that night. Raquel giggles that she won't be out all night -- but she is bringing a "few things" just in case she misses her bus.

Outside, Martin spots the pair and wonders if Wayne could do him a favour. When Wayne agrees, they all head toward Martin's home.

At the Corner shop, Doug asks for a box of tea bags, and while Audrey goes off to fetch them, he tells Deirdre that if she's in the pub later, he'd be happy to buy her a drink. After he leaves, Audrey comments that she thinks Doug is "cute," but Deirdre makes it clear that she isn't interested.

Martin, Wayne and Raquel go into the Platt's garden where Nicky and Mark are still playing ball. The boys are thrilled to see Wayne, and there is a clamour for autographs. Martin decides that it might be fun to give the boys a few pointers, so an impromptu scrum develops. Martin charges forward and knocks Wayne flat on his back, and he and Raquel quickly help him to his feet. Martin insists he'll run Wayne to casualty, but Wayne claims he's alright and he and a very miffed Raquel head off on their date. Nicky and Mark both wonder if Wayne was badly hurt, but Martin assures them that he'll be fine.

Across the street, Rita suggests that Mavis take herself off home, but Mavis says she might as well stay since Derek won't be home for at least another hour. Rita senses that Derek is unhappy in his new job, but Mavis responds that it's not the job per se, it's Councillor Potts who's making Derek's life a misery.

Meanwhile, Potts is going on at Derek about a stack of discarded wall charts. Derek thought they were required in the classrooms, but Potts sarcastically remarks that if they were needed, they'd be up on walls. As usual, he has another Council meeting to attend, so he expects Derek to finish all the grunt work before he goes home. Derek angrily shoves the charts into green garbage bags when Potts leaves.

Gail arrives home from another day at the Cafe, and is pleased to find that Martin has the tea prepared. She asks if he's given any more thought to asking Carmel about moving in, to which the response is "no." Even though Martin tries to avoid the topic, Nicky makes a point of telling his mom that Wayne Farrell was by earlier in the day and that they enjoyed a bit of a kick-about until Martin "clattered him." Martin insists that he didn't do it on purpose, and maintains that Wayne will be fine.

Back to the pub, Liz asks Jack if he's in a better mood, but he's still grumpy because Raquel had the night off while he's stuck behind the bar. As far as he's concerned, Raquel cost him £50, and when Liz asks for clarification of that statement, Jack reckons that's how much he lost on the bet he didn't get to place. Ben Williams, apparently an old friend of Angie's, shows up at the bar and offers to buy her a drink. Angie thought he was in Australia, but as it turns out, he's now promoting an electronic concert and needs t-shirts printed for the event. Angie tells him she isn't interested until he makes it clear that he's looking for someone to actually make the t-shirt design.

Martin tells Gail he's going to the pub for a quick pint, but Gail first wants to discuss the question of whether they should invite Carmel to live with them. The extra money wouldn't go amiss and it would certainly be an advantage to have a baby-sitter whenever they need one. Martin seems to be having second thoughts though, and is worried about their lack of living space. Carmel might find things a bit too cramped, and besides that, he feels they both need to think long and hard about what they'd be letting themselves in for with a boarder.

Derek apologises to Mavis for getting home late again. He's had another dreadful day with Harry Potts, who does nothing but criticise and then expect Derek to do all the last-minute chores because he has Council meetings to attend. Worse than that, Derek is filled with all sorts of new ideas of how things should be done, but he knows Potts won't listen to him. Mavis reminds him that Potts has been there for a long time and is probably just trying to show Derek who's top dog. She's sure that with time, things will settle down.

Audrey is surprised to find Deirdre at the Rover's Return, and immediately suspects she's there to meet Doug, but Deirdre assures her that she's only trying to avoid Tracy. She's been absolutely unbearable since the dance, and her unrequited love has made her so shirty that Deirdre can't say anything without having her head bitten off. Angie meanwhile has decided to accept the t-shirt job with Ben, and not only will she design them for him, she also knows where he can get them printed. Doug enters, and while Audrey admires him, he orders drinks for himself, Audrey and Deirdre. Plonking himself down at their table, he asks if he can join them, to which Deirdre replies that they don't seem to have much choice.

Martin is enjoying a game of darts with Kevin when Raquel storms across the room and angrily informs him that Wayne is in the hospital, thanks to him. Martin is clearly shocked by this news, but before he can ask questions, Raquel tells him that she's been at the hospital all evening. Wayne has "done something" to a ligament, and could be out of the game for weeks. "I hope you're satisfied," she yells as she disappears into the back room.

Andy lets himself into the MacDonald's home, and Jim, who was napping on the couch, sits up and expresses his delight at seeing him home. "Your mom will be pleased to see you" he tells Andy, but Andy doesn't seem to think that's true. When Jim asks when he's due back, Andy angrily informs him that he's not going back. "I've had it up to here with school" he angrily declares, and as he slams the door and heads upstairs to his room, a sleepy Jim is left with a puzzled and bewildered look on on his face.

Heather Morlan

Wayne Farrell: RAY POLHILL Ben Williams: PAUL WARRINER
Written by BARRY HILL Directed by JUNE HOWSON

Thursday (3459, Wednesday 4 November 1992)

What a tangle of knots in faces today! I think I should call it Sulk Street!!

Knot number one - Andy: He's come home whinging that he's had it up to there with university. He manages to wake his father (who's kipping on the sofa after the night shift. Why? I'd have gone straight to bed!) by trying to call Paula 17 times in 3 different places. Because Jim can get no sleep what with Andy's pathetic pleading for messages to be passed on and his inconsiderate stereo playing, Jim and Steve go to the pub at dinnertime for a pint. Jim's edgy and his temper is ready to pop and he nearly thumps Mike Baldwin when Mike not so subtly suggests Steve not drink the second pint he's ordering if he's going to be operating machinery. He hadn't given Steve a chance to say that the pint was for his father.

At home, Jim lays into Andy for leaving school, with Liz playing peacemaker. Jim realizes he's upset because he's not had any sleep. They decide to wait and see if Andy will come to his senses. I'm sure I'd be upset to if my son, after spending all that money on tuition, came crying home after only a couple of months. Later, Andy tries to cadge some free T-shirts from Steve who turns him down because Mike is always on his back. More than his job's worth. Finally the phone rings and it's finally Paula. Andy obnoxiously orders her to come over, forget food just get here. (Now I think Andy might just be cruising for a kick to the curb!) Stay tuned . . .

Knot number two - Derek: Derek's struggles with Councilor Potts continues. Ken asks Derek what happened to the Shakespeare display that the kids were working on for weeks. (If you'll recall, that's the stuff Potts insisted Derek throw in the bin) Potts takes the opportunity to cover his backside by scolding Derek for not checking with him first and Derek tries to sputter his defense, citing Harry's direction but Ken won't hear it and gets quite angry. All Potts does after, in the wake of Derek's accusations is righteously insists Derek not call the teachers by their first names in front of the children.

After school, Ken raises the curiosity of Rita and Mavis by buying chocolates "for a friend" but is very discreet as to the identity. Mave prudishly feels that the "friend" is just that but Rita correctly assumes that it's a date he's bought the candy for. Derek's name comes up in the course of conversation and although Ken doesn't say anything the signals are loud and clear. When he leaves, Rita susses that Derek doesn't have as good a friend in court as the Wiltons might have thought at first. IN the pub tonight, Audrey and Rita take great delight in speculating on Ken's mysterious romantic escapades while Derek sulks in the corner of the booth. (Hey, my dad must have been right! Your face DOES freeze when you pout and sulk. Derek Wilton is living proof!) The whole story about Derek's latest indignity at the hands of Dictator Potts is revealed and spread around the pub by Madame Gob Roberts.

Knot number three - Gail, Martin and Raquel: Because of Martin's involvement over Wayne's injury, he gets teased all day by a variety of people. Gail takes some flack as well though not for that. For inviting Carmel to live with them. Alma plays devil's advocate by suggesting Gail is actually taking advantage of free babysitting and maid services and Audrey lends her two pennies as well. Gail gets her turn at sulking all day until Martin comes in and tells her she's wrong and he's inviting Carmel to tea tonight. He takes that opportunity to ask Carmel to lodge and when Gail comes home, the decision is made. Carmel is delighted. But even she gets a chance to tease Martin about kicking Wayne. IN the pub all day, Raquel is in a snit about Wayne's injury because she hasn't been allowed to go visit him. He's been guarded by his trainer and his pit bull of a landlady (and that massage therapist too I shouldn't wonder) and she's not very complimentary when referring to Martin either.

Let's just revisit Knot number one shall we? When we next see Andy, Paula's arrived but they are sitting at opposite ends of the settee with arms wrapped defensively around their bodies. Sounds like Andy barely let Paula through the door before he tried to get a leg over and she objected, her mission being to talk some sense into him. The real reason for Andy's temperamental hissy fit is because he misses her so much he can't think of anything else. Sounds like a schoolboy tantrum to me. He doesn't prove me wrong either when he badgers her into agreeing she thinks of him too, every minute of every day (wonder she can even breathe for the smothering effect!) He's satisfied for a split second and makes plans to go back to university and see her next weekend but the next minute he's off in a huff again accusing her of having someone else because she actually has the temerity to be showing definite signs of actually having a life without his every assistance. She's made plans to go to Wales with her girlfriends and they're depending on her because she promised to provide transportation. She refuses to cancel the weekend because of her commitment and ends up getting angry with him and walking out.

Knot number four - Mark Redman: (although in this case it's probably excusable and understandable) Ken arrives at Maggie's for the dinner she's cooked for him. She nervously lets him in but she's also blushing with pleasure at the gift of chocolate. She is contending with a contentious cooker and shows him into the living room to keep Mark company. Poor kid! As if it isn't bad enough that his mother is seeing someone new for the first time since his beloved father died, to add to his misery and mortification, it's his TEACHER!!! The poor boy is rendered rudely speechless though I can hardly blame him, as I said, and he barely says more than 6 words in response to Ken's blundering efforts at conversation about football, cookers and other nondescript topics. Finally at the end of the meal he begs to be excused and reluctantly, with Ken's agreement, he is allowed to escape. Maggy makes excuses for her son's behavior citing the grief and discomfort of having a new man around and the penny finally drops for Ken who apologizes for being so crass and insensitive. In reply to her hopeful question, no, he's not been put off. He might be crass but he's also persistent (he thinks he's making a joke but truer words have never been spoken!!!!) Maggy, pleased, leans over to give him a gentle kiss. And I had to laugh because Ken has that look on his face like a deer caught in the headlights, the same look he had when Alma took the initiative and kissed him for the first time!!!

Diane Johnston

Paula Maxwell: JUDY BROOKE Harry Potts: RUSSELL DIXON
Written by TOM ELLIOTT Directed by JUNE HOWSON

Friday (3460, Friday 6 November 1992)

While Gail struggles to get the kids fed and ready for the day, Martin lets Carmel in the front door. She's arrived with all her stuff as she's moving in today and once he helps her up the stairs with it, he complains to Gail about the volume. "Well she's moving in", answers Gail, "You can't expect her to arrive with one case!" As an afterthought, she says she only hopes Carmel isn't always this cheerful in the mornings! Nicky says he hopes she is - he feels it makes a nice change compared to Gail, who always seems "like death" in the mornings! Another complaint from Nicky, last night's fireworks display was disappointing brings an announcement from Martin that there'll be fireworks again tonight! Cheers from all, including Carmel, who has joined the family by this time.

At the McDonalds', Andy is having to endure some teasing from his brother. ("What are you going to do now? Return to Bettabuys for a career in shelf-stacking?") Liz intervenes before things get out of hand but as he goes off to work, "Spelled w-o-r-k", for his brother's benefit, Steve gets in one last jab, calling Andy the "golden boy". With Steve gone, Liz directs herself to Andy: "I haven't asked you any questions, I haven't asked for any explanations, and I haven't demanded you return to school - but while you're in my house, I *don't* want any quarrelling!" Lowering her tone, she asks how things went with Paula the night before. "Lousy", replies Andy without feeling.

Angie catches Steve in the street on his way to open the T-Shirt shop to ask him to help her with the special order she's got. He tries deferring her to the following week as he's too busy but she pins him down to staying late after work, saying she'll be over at six.

From the door of the Corner Shop, Audreh is peeking out between the blinds and making commentary to Deirdre about Carmel moving in across the street. She has to back up suddenly and pretend to be discussing Cornflakes inventory when Martin and Carmel come into the shop. Martin introduces Carmel to Audreh who in turn introduces her to Deirdre. As Martin checks out the fireworks, Audreh swamps Carmel with a giggly probe about moving in at the Platts. "And where will you be sleeping? I hope they haven't got you on that old sofa?" Carmel explains that she'll be in with Sarah Louise, a situation she doesn't mind in the least as she's used to kids. As a matter of fact, she expects to quite enjoy it, she says. "Well! I don't think I'd fancy it - would you, Deirdreh?" asks Audreh with a laugh. "I don't think I'd be invited!" answers Deirdre. Addressing herself to Audreh, Carmel replies smoothly, "I don't think you would be either". The shock of her comment having succeeded in shutting Audreh up, Carmel proceeds to ask where the black treacle is so that she can make "bonfire toffee" for tonight.

As the recess bell rings, Ken calls Mark Redman back for a quick word. The embarrassed boy proceeds to his teacher's desk so that Ken can tell him how much he enjoyed last night's meal and to reinforce to him that he is only "Mr. Barlow" while in school - outside of school, "Well, I'm just me", smiles Ken. Awkwardly, Mark answers, "Okay, Mr. Barlow", before escaping to catch up to his friend waiting in the corridor. When Nicky asks what the conference was about, Mark lies that it concerned his homework. (Would Ken please give this kid a break?)

In the Kabin, Doug Murray asks Mavis about photography magazines. She shows him the one they have in stock and Doug seems satisfied and is about to purchase it when Jack happens in. Jack starts to complain that the "top section" of the Kabin's magazine rack is inadequate and it soon becomes apparent that he means it lacks "men's" magazines. Mavis impatiently listens as Jack speculates as to the "real" reason Doug is after a photography magazine, for the pictures of nudes. Doug protests that he really *is* a photography buff, that there's more to him than meets the eye. Jack sees his mistake and starts to back down. "Well, yeah - there's more to everyone than meets the eye..." By this time Mavis can't hold her tongue another minute... Mavis: "Well, what exactly in your case, Mr. Duckworth?" Jack: "Huh - what?" Mavis: "What more is there to you than meets the eye?" Jack: "Oh, you'd be surprised!" Mavis: "Yes, I'd be very surprised! If there's any more to you than an elderly teenager with the mind of a repressed juvenile, I'd be absolutely flabbergasted!" Jack: "Wot?"

Jim comes in from work and feigns surprise at finding Andy still at home. An argument ensues, Jim accusing Andy of being ungrateful for all he, Liz and Steve have done for him. He reminds Andy that they "wet-nursed" him through his A Levels, and "pussyfooted" around all the time he was revising. Andy asserts that whatever was done wasn't for him so much as it was so they could feel proud of him for their own sakes. "It isn't easy being set up as a genius!" He reckons he's no more than a failure, like father, like son. Jim takes exception to being called a "crypto fascist in uniform" and walks out in a fit of temper, leaving Andy immersed in his self-loathing.

In the aftermath of some pre-holiday fireworks, Derek is cleaning up around the school yardwhen he happens upon Harry Potts in the parking lot. He makes reference to the burnt fireworks, suggesting that the school isn't very secure from the threat of vandalism. "Is that a complaint?" Potts asks with defiance. "No, just a comment", answers Derek. He goes on to insist that "any six-year-old" could break into the school if he had a mind to. Potts refutes the claim and adds that if they are broken into it'll be Derek who gets blamed for going around broadcasting how easy it is! Derek takes note of the box of lightbulbs (at least a couple dozen packages) Potts is loading into his car. "Are those *lightbulbs*?" he asks gormlessly. "That's what they look like", quips Potts. Before Derek can question the fact that they are being removed from school property, Potts second-guesses the accusation and tells Derek off for being too nosy. A firm warning, whether it concerns fireworks, security or lightbulbs - he'd better learn to keep *this* (pointing to his own nose) OUT!

As the Platts prepare for their evening's entertainment, Martin ushers Lisa with Tommy and goes to fetch her some wine. Gail takes a call from Sally who can't make it since Rosie has the sniffles. Carmel seems to have made herself at home by now and comes over to chat with Lisa. After admiring the sleeping Tommy, she asks whether Lisa's husband will be joining them after work. Caught off guard by the question, Lisa only manages a polite, "No", before Martin intervenes by calling Carmel to the kitchen so he can explain the circumstances.

In the pub, Liz serves Andy a beer, warning him not to get carried away. Annoyed at the remark, he sits down to wait for Paula. Further down the bar, Audreh tells Ken that she's glad he's about, so she "won't be getting looks from all the men"! Amused by the concept, Ken assures her that she need never worry while he's around. Doug Murray steps up to the bar beside Audreh and offers drinks to her and Ken, asking if they are together. "Oh no", gasps Audreh, "I'm all alone!" Raquel has taken their order and Jack now pulls her aside to confide that Doug is a photographer. He suggests that she let him know about her availability as a model, so pretending to have forgot the drinks order, she steps back to the bar. "Being a *model*, I can't keep anything in my head!" she laughingly explains.

The fireworks are in full blast at the moment and the assembled party seem to be enjoying the display. Carmel, standing beside Des, confesses to him her embarrassment over her earlier gaff, talking about Lisa's husband without realizing he's in prison. Des is only too mindful of the situation, telling Carmel it can't be easy for Lisa. Gail pokes her head out the patio door to let them all know that potatoes are ready. This announcement is met with cheers of "Potatoes!" (Huh? Potatoes don't sound that exciting to me - must be a Guy Fawkes thing?)

Paula has joined Andy at his table and the two now thrash out the situation. He admits that he was wrong to object to her going away with friends but confesses he's been very lonely without her. She says she feels the same and urges him to join things, start getting involved in school activities to pass the time. With an admission that he really hoped she would be as miserable as he's been, Andy agrees that he was stupid to leave Sheffield and promises to go back with a renewed commitment.

From the Wiltons' patio window, Derek gazes out at the fireworks display and laments to Mavis what a shame it is that "It can't last". He speculates that in a few more years "Nicky and Sarah Louise will be busy terrorizing the neighbourhood with some marauding gang"! Mavis disagrees strongly and wonders what brought on the sullenness. He tells her about Harry Potts' abusive attitude and how the school is "pervaded with every kind of vice". Wistfully, he says he longs for the "happy days" when they worked side-by-side in the Kabin! Mavis panics at the thought and hastens to assure Derek that it will be all right - things do change, after all! He ruefully laments, "Why can't they ever change for the better?"

Des comes in from the backyard to join Lisa in the Platt's livingroom. He sits down beside her, offering to look after Tommy if she'd like to join the party. She declines the offer and the two spend an awkward few minutes making polite conversation. (Lisa is obviously mindful of not giving the wrong signals.) When Carmel comes in and offers to hold the sleeping baby, Lisa readily takes her up on it and rejoins those in the back yard, leaving Des behind.

At Done to a T, Angie and Steve are just finishing with her order when Baldwin comes in and demands to know what his cut will be. Angie's getting £8 per shirt, so Mike reckons he's entitled to £6 of that, "£4 for rent and £2 as a penalty for thieving". Angie defends the operation saying she didn't mean to steal and that since they only started after 6:00 p.m. it isn't costing him anything. But Mike is furious and points out that it's his premises, his equipment, his electricity and his staff! "So that's six quid times fifty", he calculates. Angie protests that's not fair and that she can't afford it but offers to pay for the electricity. Mike tells her he'll take £20 for the electric and threatens that if it ever happens again, he'll sue for the balance. Angie eagerly accepts the stipulation and runs home to get the twenty while Baldwin turns his wrathful attentions to Steve: "And you! You're lucky to still have work! If you ever go behind my back again you'll be looking for a job!" he warns.

Andy comes home to find Jim sitting alone, deep in thought. Breaking the awkward silence, the two stumble around a bit for words before Jim manages an apology for their earlier argument. Andy also apologizes, saying he didn't mean what he said - he doesn't think of Jim as a "failure" and he certainly isn't a "fascist". They both claim to be at fault for what went on earlier but Andy finally ends the debate by telling his father that he's decided to go back to Sheffield. Jim almost weeps for joy at the news, telling Andy he is "the pride of (his) life". Hugs, and once again, the McDonald house is peaceful and harmonious. Ahhh...

Anita Bélanger

Mark Redman CHRIS COOK Harry Potts RUSSELL DIXON
Written by STEPHEN MALLATRATT Directed by JUNE HOWSON


Originally transmitted: 9, 11, 13, 16 & 18 November 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 17 - Friday 21 January 2000
Episode Numbers: 3461 - 3465

Monday (3461, Monday 9 November 1992)

With apologies and humble admiration to the late great radio gossip columnist Walter Winchell.

Ladies and Gentlemen and all the ships at sea, Let's Go To Press...

Toffee, Tea or me? A wild Irish rose has bloomed on the Street, offering to be maid, chief cook and bottle washer and all around baby Nurse in exchange for room, board and friendship. Plattery seems to have got her quite far down the road from Tipperary! There is a "finnan"ce stashed away in Ireland but we think there is a sticky situation developing.

Jailbird spouse admits today to a local Free woMan that she's had untoward thoughts about a man other than her husband! This shocking admission Des not mean she's about to leave her incarcerated husband, however, because she vows to Duck temptation for all it's Worth and concentrate on her bonny babby.

A local senior citizen took a tumble today but was unhurt other than Piercing her stockings and wounding her pride. She was Doug up by a good Samaritan mechanic, a virtual stranger. Unwittingly, his assistance to the shaken she probably made more of an impact with the Dreary divorcee he's been spending all his efforts trying to chat up.

Local assistant caretaker did not Weather the field well today, nearly resigning his post after being driven Potty by his supervisor. He was assigned the dirty and physically draining task of de-leafing drains, be-leafing Dirty Harry was otherwise occupied at Town Hall all day. The Dreary divorcee played informer and had the Neck to reveal that the council meeting ended by elevenses. Our caretaker Comprehended that his boss must have stayed scarce until the leaves were too and our Hapless NotHarry has now resigned himself to standing fast, ever vigilant in his righteous indignation!

A certain lady victualler has her leopard spotted knickers in a bunch! In the morning she was driven Kabin Krazy when an overpouffed red wig was caught commenting on the amount of common interests she has with a bespectacled and betwitchy grocer and self appointed ladies' man, consisting of absent spouses and a fondness for peppermint creams. The blonde bombshell (Oh, BeHive!!) was at the mercy of her new boss later when he insisted that she Will participate More in brewery sponsored entertainment evenings, currently consisting of pitting the wits of pub grubbers and quiz whizzers against each other. In attempting to find a fearless leader, she unwittingly acquired said half witted grocer as a volunteer and now she's got her Ascot in a sling because it looks like he's hoping to have more than the quiz in hand soon!

Speaking of half wits, local trainer of innocent minds has been seen getting "thisclose" to a certain lady florist, rattling the skeletons in his own closet in the naïve hopes that she'll do the same. In spite of dropping hints like petals, she only alludes to a somewhat passionless past but doesn't reveal a secret that is yet to be revealed to her unlucky-in-love would-be lover who has raised the Bar on their relationship by hinting that they could have a future. They do not realize they have more in common than they know!

And finally, this just in, our stalwart spectacled Stormin Norman has had his attentions shifted from wool-gathering to list making in preparation for his nuptials, scheduled date To Be Announced once his future Father-in-law has his loins girded and enTrussted to a urologist, according to his fiancé. Good thing too, watching Rugby and counting sheep to get to sleep were beginning to Rug him the wrong way! But stress management beckons and he is planning to retreat from his wool-ful bride to be and escape to the starts through the roof slates of his attic with the help of a new telescope (wonder how many packets of wool the price of one of those would buy?)

And that's the way it was for Monday, November 9, 1992!

Diane Johnston

Richard Wilmore: OLIVER BEAMISH Harry Potts: RUSSELL DIXON
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by HOWARD BAKER

Tuesday (3462, Wednesday 11 November 1992)

Do you remember Neil Mitchell, the lad who did the work on Curly's windows back when he was buying the house from Rita? Well, Curly does, and when he spots Neil in the street this morning he escapes from Reg (more about that later) and asks if Neil can come by the house to discuss a job Curly wants done. Neil agrees to come by later, when he's done work for the day on this project. (New construction in the Street - there's a hairdressers' going in, he mentions. History in the making!)

In the Kabin, Mavis and Rita listen to Derek complain about Councillor Potts being a flagrant liar. Having caught Harry lying about being tied up all the day before on Council business, Derek declares he will "bring him to heel, discover his weaknesses, then strike!" Mavis begs Derek to be prudent and after he leaves Rita comments that at least Potts has given Derek a reason to stick to the job.

Earlier on the way to work Reg had tortured Curly with his theories about the birth of trivia quizzes, invoking images of cavemen sitting around fires passing the time by asking each other such questions as "How many teeth does a sabre-toothed tiger have?" and "Name three ways to skin a rat!" Now, in the Bettabuys employee caff, he is still on the topic. Curly wonders aloud why Reg volunteered to run the pub quiz - how many times has Curly heard Reg say "never volunteer"? Reg reveals that one true motive is his dream of "fringe benefits" involving Mrs. Gilroy! Curly warns Reg to be careful - "she's a lot of woman," he warns. Reg replies that there are women in the world "who could testify that Reg Holdsworth is a whole lot of man!" (Mother of Mercy!) Reg then assures Curly that his real reasons are "purely intellectual". Curly doubts Reg's intellect and throws some simple questions at Reg (What year did Columbus discover America? Who's the Captain of the English football team?) which Reg can't answer. Seeing Reg flustered, Curly can't resist warning him that he could be letting down Bettabuys if his performance is poor. Vera drives the final nail into Reg's coffin by stopping by to offer her and Jack's services on the quiz team! "She *is* joking?" Reg pleads Curly to affirm.

At the school, Derek bids Harry Potts "good morning - it is still morning, isn't it?" He checks his watch. "Yes, 20 minutes to go." Potts accuses Derek of being acid and blusters about his duties to the community as Councilor as well as to the school. Derek sweetly agrees that "it's people like you who make local government, as we know it in England, the envy of the world," and walks off leaving a suspicious Potts to wonder if he was being sarky or not.

In the Cafe Gail and Alma arrange to go for a drink that evening as Mike is out of town and Martin absorbed in his studies. Gail waxes lyrical about how Carmel keeps Martin at his books and gives him pep talks whenever he gets discouraged. "She's a bit prissy, though, isn't she, Miss Carmel?" observes Alma, but Gail denies this firmly, saying she "won't hear a word said against her!"

Reg and Curly arrive at the Rovers. Curly's teasing has clearly shaken Reg's confidence, for he suddenly realizes that as a "top executive" he can't put his public image in jeopardy by doing a pub quiz - Curly shall do it! Curly protests and Reg argues he's ideal - "well-educated, intellectual". "Only compared to you," replies Curly shortly. Curly then reveals his childhood nickname wasn't Curly, it was "Forty". "Forty?" asks Reg. "Forty Watts... you see, they reckoned I was a bit dim...and some of the kids, they thought that me 'ead was the same shape as a lightbulb!" "Ah yes," commiserates Reg, "nothing crueler than one's schoolfellows. Or more perceptive." Nevertheless, Reg says this is Curly's chance to prove the schoolyard scoffers wrong - he has every confidence in Curly!

Elsewhere in the Rovers, Emily and Deirdre arrive for a drink. When Emily goes to the bar, Doug Murray takes the opportunity to ask Deirdre out for a meal on Friday. She says no but he finally convinces her to meet him Friday just for a drink at t'Rovers.

On arriving back at the garage, Doug looks like the cat that ate the canary as he tells Kev he finally got his foot in the door with "Drop-dead Deirdre"! Kev leaves to take his own lunch, and Doug is rapidly brought to earth as he notices a large, rough-looking man in a suit peering about Coronation Street. This stranger seems to be known to Doug, for Doug ducks out of his sight and then escapes down the alley at the side of the garage.

Reg has convinced a reluctant Bet that they need to discuss Quiz Night matters in the back of the pub. She now impatiently demands to know what was so important that they couldn't discuss it out front. He sputters that generals don't discuss battle strategies in front of the troops. She reminds him that she's got a bar to run and he leaps on that opening. He admires how well she's doing, a woman running this pub on her own. "If there's any advice, professional or otherwise, that I can give, feel free, I *really, really* mean that," he twitches. Bet regards him icily. "Well," she begins, "I can honestly promise you, (pause) if the occasion ever arises (pause) I will definitely not hesitate. (pause) Not for a moment will I hesitate." Reg, perhaps sensing that he's rapidly approaching the end of Bet's patience, then says that he asked to speak to her in private because it involves a member of her staff, "young Raquel. I am going to ask her to be my Mistress..." "Wot?" "...of Ceremonies. Had you going there for a minute, didn't I?" says Reg, wheezing hysterically at his own joke. "No," snaps Bet. Reg becomes suddenly serious. If he *were* looking for a mistress "of the other variety", it wouldn't be Raquel. She's too callow, too immature. He'd be looking for a more mature sort, a more womanly sort of woman. After a pause, Bet says "bring your drink". Reg gulps audibly as he clutches his drink and leaps to his feet, asking shakily "where are we going?" "Back in Bar!" spits Bet, and the Royal Audience is most definitely over!

The stranger Doug fled from earlier is now wandering around MVB Motors as Kev returns from dinner break. There's no sign of Doug as the stranger tells Kevin he is looking for someone named Dave Matthews (so that's what he did before he formed the Dave Matthews Band) regarding "personal business". He heard he was working 'round here. The physical description he gives leaves no doubt it's Doug Murray he's after but Kev just says he doesn't know anyone by that name. Seeing two used tea mugs, the man suspiciously wonders if Kev has hired a mechanic lately? Yeah, as a matter of fact he has, says Kevin - an 18 year old lad, but he's found something else he likes doing more. The man leaves saying he's sorry to have troubled Kev. "No trouble, mate," says Kevin, adding under his breath, "at least I hope not."

Back at Bettabuys, Reg tells Curly that if Curly doesn't demonstrate cooperation and faith in him by Captaining the quiz team, how can Reg demonstrate faith in Curly when recommending him - or not - to Head Office? Arm well and truly twisted, Curly agrees to do it.

At the school, Derek is delighted to spy Harry Potts smoking in a hallway. He grabs the fag from an astonished Potts' mouth and stamps it out. He pretends that he knows that Potts was "deliberately testing [his] knowledge of school fire regulations. No Smoking!" he says enthusiastically. "You're mental," says Potts disbelievingly.

In the Rovers, Kevin asks Jim whether he's seen Doug. Jim hasn't seen him, so he hasn't. Kevin relates the story about the stranger asking after someone who is obviously Doug by another name, and about Doug's leaving the garage unattended. They agree that the stranger is probably a jealous husband, Doug having an eye for the ladies. Kevin grimly notes that he doesn't care what Doug Murray/Dave Matthews does on his own time or under what name, but when he goes missing on Kev's time he's no good to Kevin!

Neil has come by Curly's and is ushered up to the attic to explore putting in Curly's rooftop observatory window. It appears to be a relatively simple job. Angie arrives home, clearly pleased to see Neil there. Neil will drop in with a quote tomorrow and she says if he drops in when she's there, he'll get a cup of tea. Neil accepts this invitation and leaves. Curly accuses Angie of fancying Neil to which she replies that she can fancy whoever she likes, unlike Curly, and while they're on that topic she wonders if he's told Kimberley about the observatory? She'd like to be a fly on the wall when he does, she teases - there's Kimberley planning the grandest wedding and honeymoon in British history and here's Curly "frittering money away on the mysteries of the universe." "To a girl like Kimberley," Angie continues, "you've got your priorities all wrong!" Curly looks miserable.

Carmel and Martin sit at a table laden with books and notes as Gail prepares to go out. Martin wants to join her for just one pint but Gail says that wouldn't be fair to Carmel. Carmel says she wouldn't mind at all if Martin went out for awhile but Gail insists - "keep his nose to the grindstone!" she instructs Carmel firmly before leaving them.

At old "Forty Watts'", a scene of domestic pleasantry as the radio plays, Angie works away at her design table and Curly looks through a magazine. It's no doubt either a star-gazing mag or a telescope catalogue according to the speed with which he hides it when Kimberley knocks on the door! (Poor Curly. He's got so little happening in his life and there's Kimberley trying to squeeze out the few drops of passion he does have.) Curly doesn't want to go to the Rovers (Kimberley had magnanimously suggested she'd allow them to go for _one drink_) because Reg Holdsworth will be there. Unlike Curly, Kimberley is delighted with the news he is Captain of the Quiz Team. "It's what they call a poisoned chalice," says Curly acidly. Kimberley says she knows what Curly needs to relax - "a session on the rug". "Wot?" asks Angie. "You know very well we're making a rug," says Curly peevishly. He doesn't want to do that either. "Sometimes I think you're not into rugmaking at all!" complains Kimberley hilariously. Angie interjects that Curly does have plans for the house, though, and suggests to a horrified Curly that he tell Kimberley about them. Trapped by Kimberley, who is egged on by Angie, he stutteringly tells Kim that he has been looking into making the attic a... "usable room". Kimberley is delighted and begins making plan for his "usable room" - perhaps a third bedroom! Or a nursery! "Nursery?" asks Curly weakly. "Oh Norman - you ARE a little homemaker after all!" burbles Kimberley. "Come here while I give you a cuddle!" Angie scrunches up her nose in a "that's adorable" expression at the hapless, helpless Curly, who can see his observatory, like so many of his dreams, slipping away.

Reg comes into the Rovers and asks if Bet has communicated his idea to Raquel. "Raquel," snaps Bet, "Rambo's got summat to ask you." Raquel gets the wrong end of the stick and thinks that he's asking her to be on the quiz team, accepting enthusiastically. She's thrilled that somebody sees her as being something other than a bimbo! Reg corrects her and as she realizes through his stutters and stumbles what her role is to be, she says with disgust that she's sick of people thinking all she's good for is standing around looking decorative. Reg assures her that with him as Quizmaster, this team will not be decorative. "I'll drink to that!" says Bet. Seeing he's losing Raquel, Reg moves on and swoops down like a very un-aerodynamic bird on Gail and Alma. He asks them to join the quiz team but in true Reg fashion includes some unkind remarks about "separating the wheat from the chaff", implying that he is asking Gail and Alma because they are smart and that some of the other people asking to be on the team are dim. Apparently offended by his lack of tact, Alma volunteers that they couldn't possibly be on the team - their husbands wouldn't allow it. Reg sputters that he thought they were liberated women. "All an illusion," says Alma seriously.

In a corner of the bar, Derek is smiling beatifically to himself. When Mavis asks the source of this inner happiness, he announces that he is actually looking forward to going to work tomorrow. Mavis' delight turns to despair when she finds out the reason is that "today I went on the offensive against Potts." "Oh, Derek, do be careful!" she pleads. Derek is *not* in cautionary mode - he says he's got the superior brain power and "will do what superpowers do to irritating small countries - destabilize him. My brain against his - there can only be one outcome!" Mavis might agree but she seems to foresee a different outcome - "Oh dear!" she sighs.

ronniecat

Neil Mitchell: JOHN LLOYD FILLINGHAM Doug Murray: BRIAN HIBBARD Mr. Allott: DAVID J. NICHOLLS
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by HOWARD BAKER

Wednesday (3463, Friday 13 November 1992)

Another morning on the street, and this one finds Curly looking through a catalogue of telescopes. Angie comes downstairs in her housecoat, and teases him that astronomers are some of the best liars -- and based on Curly's "cop out" of the night before, she reckons he's in for a very starry future. Curly explains that he was going to tell Kimberley about his observatory plans, but it just wasn't the right time. Angie claims she's going to keep her nose out of the whole situation, to which Curly responds "good idea!" However, she sarcastically reminds him that at least Copernicus had the brains to make sure the truth didn't get out until after his death!

At the Kabin, Mavis sympathises with Jim, who works all night and sleeps during the day. Jim counters by telling her he knew a fellow who worked nights for 22 years, and had a very successful marriage as a consequence. Kevin comes in and tells Rita that he probably won't be able to get to her car until tomorrow. Doug hasn't shown up for work, so he's on his own. Jim offers to lend a hand and Kevin gratefully accepts, so Rita may have her car fixed after all.

Deirdre does her best to get Tracy off to school before she's late, but Tracy swears at her shoes, which she claims are "nearly shot." Deirdre insists there's nothing wrong with them, except perhaps needing new laces, and tells Tracy she's NOT going to buy her a pair of those "great big bother boots." Tracy claims that the newest trend are shoes, not boots, but Deirdre replies that if she wants them that badly, she'll have to pay for them herself.

Neil drops by the Kabin for a few items, and after a successful "fishing expedition," Mavis learns that he finds Angie to be attractive. He tells Rita and Mavis that he'll be converting Curly's loft to an observatory, since "he's a bit of a star gazer." Mavis thinks it's wonderful that some people are still pursuing hobbies -- until Neil tells her that when Curly gets tired of looking at the stars he can point his telescope at her house. "He can see the hair on the back of your hands with it," he advises.

Outside, Neil meets Angie, who tells him that she'll soon be moving elsewhere since Kimberley won't want a lodger once she marries Curly. Neil says that he wishes Curly all the luck -- "he'll need it," is his opinion, prompting Angie to ask if he's back with his wife. Neil admits that he isn't, but he's happy enough in his present situation. Giving Angie the once-over, he admits that he can understand why Kimberely wouldn't want her around. After a few false starts, he finally screws up the courage to ask Angie if she'd like to go out with him. Angie accepts, and they agree to go out for a drink after he talks to Curly that night.

At the Rover's Return, Reg waxes eloquent on the responsibilities of being quiz-master until he notices that Curly isn't listening. Instead, Curly wants to know if he has any regrets about not being married anymore. Reg says he doesn't, although he does admit that he often misses the compansionship in "times of need." Curly wonders if the fact that there were no children had anything to do with the marriage failing, but Reg feels he had no choice in the matter. He wanted children, but his wife was quite adamant about not having any. Noticing the time, Reg reminds him they need to get back to work, and as they leave, Reg passes Bet and gives her a conspiratorial wink, causing Bet to roll her eyes and tell Betty that she wants "nowt" to do with the quiz business. In her opinion, the pub has always been a "darts and dominoes" sort of place, but Liz tries to encourage her by saying the quiz could prove to be very successful. Bet agrees -- but that's not the point. As far as she's concerned, the Rover's Return is her pub and she doesn't want Newton and Ridley telling her how to do things. Bet is convinced that Willmore will have other ideas down the road, because that's his idea of harrassment. She calls the quiz "the edge of the wedge," because ultimately Willmore wants her out.

Jim has finished working on Rita's car and is about to head home for some sleep. Doug hasn't shown up or called in, and Kevin can't reach him by phone. Jim hopes that Doug is alright, because in his opinion he's a decent guy. Kevin agrees and wonders if he should go around to the address Doug provided -- he can't decide whether to mind his own business or try to help Doug out. Kevin hands Jim his pay for the day and they both agree to keep the matter to themselves, since Mike would fire Doug if he knew what was going on.

Ken calls out to Tracy on the street and asks if she could do him a favour. His date has had to cancel because she can't get a baby-sitter, so Ken wonders if Tracy would like to earn £5. Tracy happily accepts, and agrees to meet her dad at 7:00. At home, she finds Deirdre also preparing for a date, with her hair wrapped in a towel after her bath. When she tells her mom that she'll be baby-sitting that night, Deirdre wonders who the new woman is in Ken's life. Tracy doesn't know, but offers to give her all the details when she gets home -- in return for her mom agreeing to pay half for her new boots.

Kevin arrives at Doug's address and knocks on the door. A woman answers, but tells him he has the wrong house -- she's never heard of Doug Murray. Kevin asks why Doug's car is parked out front, but the woman claims it's her car and tells him to push off or she'll call the police. Kevin explains that Doug works with him and he's only trying to do him a favour, but she closes the door in his face.

Ken and Tracy arrive at Maggie's, and Tracy is shown all the important features of the home -- where the snacks, pop, and television can be found. Mark is sulking in his room because he can't visit a mate instead of being babysat, and Maggie asks Tracy not to mention this to any of her school chums. Mark is embarrassed by the whole situation.

Neil and Curly discuss the necessary renovations to the loft when Kimberley arrives. Curly does his best to keep Neil and Kimberley separated, so tells her that Neil has to leave -- but Kimberley has other ideas and wants to ask him a few questions. Curly tries to rush Neil out the door until Neil surprises him by telling him that he's waiting for Angie, who is upstairs getting ready.

Deirdre asks for a drink at the Rover's Return, and is complimented on her appearance by Bet. Deirdre claims she's only there to meet a mate.

Back at Curly's, Neil goes though a list of changes to be made to the loft. Curly, who is desperately trying to avoid the observatory issue, tries to get Kimberley to go upstairs and coax Angie to hurry, but Kimberley insists she wants to discuss the renovations. Luckily for Curly, Angie finally appears, ready for her date, but Neil mentions "telescope," and the cat is out of the bag.

Deirdre continues to wait for Doug while she nurses a drink. Bet stops at her table and asks if she'd like another, but Deirdre declines. At the bar, Bet whispers to Liz that Deirdre is obviously waiting for someone, and based on her years of experience, she knows it's a man. Kevin arrives for a pint and when Deirdre asks him about Doug, Kevin offers that he must be out of town since he didn't come into work that day. Deirdre leaves in an apparent huff, and Bet tells Liz that she's obviously been stood up. Liz thinks it's possible that she may have just wanted to get out of the house for half an hour, but Bet reminds her that you don't wash your hair and put on fresh make-up for that.

An angry Kimberley demands that Curly give her her coat so that she can leave, but Curly wants her to sit down and discuss the situation. He tries to explain that he was going to tell her about the observatory that night, but this only makes Kimberley angrier since both Angie and Neil knew about it before she did. She was even more embarrassed by the fact that Angie was laughing at her, and Curly tries to persuade her that this isn't true. "That's it," she shrieks (as only Kimberley can shriek). "You can have your rotten telescope... and that rotten room, because if you can't trust me with the truth, there's just no future for either of us." As she slams her way out of the house, Curly is left with a blank expression on his face (should he cry -- or celebrate?).

Heather Morlan

Neil Mitchell: JOHN LLOYD FILLINGHAM Jean Forbes: CHRISTINE KNOX
Written by KEN BLAKESON Directed by HOWARD BAKER

Thursday (3464, Monday 16 November 1992)

Oh isn't that just the sight you wanted to see on your doorstep early in the morning? Reg Holdsworth jovially twitching his way through his best chat up lines, trying to lower his eyelids, talking in a low breathy voice and doing his very best to be suave and sophisticated! Bet is merely angry at being woken up and impatient as he burbles his way through a dictionary of words in his explanation as to why he's come so early. "Mea culpa, I'm afraid my excitement to the future events must excuse my rather precipitous behaviour!" (Is that what it's called, then, when a man can't unglue his eyes from your cleavage?) Reg wants the list of questions he requested from the Brewery and is clearly hoping to be invited into the Inner Sanctum but gets left on the cold back doorstep while Bet fetches the envelope containing the questions and rules. Reg promises to give Bet a night she'll never forget, voice laden with innuendo as he leers at her cleavage again. Bet's stony stare echoes her cold voice, "to go along with the morning I'd rather forget?" and she defensively zips her dressing gown up to her neck.

Jim comes looking for some more part time work at the garage. Doug still hasn't turned up and Kevin relates his visit to the unnamed woman the night before. Kevin accepts Jim's offer of help for this morning and Jim gets stuck in.

An unexpectedly abridged beauty sleep at Bet's age always has unfortunate results, She looks like an albino rabbit, in her words! She's surveying the damage in the mirror while Raquel is ironing her dress for the quiz tonight, an abbreviated little number in brown crushed velvet. She's agreed to be scorekeeper for Reg's quiz. Bet eyes the scrap of material on the ironing board and warns the younger woman to leave something to the imagination as they don't have a strip club license. Raquel smugly holds the dress up against her body and quotes "if you've gorrit, flaunt it, and I've gorrit I suppose". (I do think Bet's got plenty to flaunt in her own right, once she's got her slap on and dressed in her finery. Stronger men than Reg Holdsworth have been conquered by that ponderous cleavage and gleaming smile!) The conversation turns to Raquel's Wayne who's fit enough for light training, apparently due to the miraculous hands of his massage therapist who's soon leaving for a new post in London. Happen Bet'll go for that job then as she's worried about her own job security at the hands of the Brewery what with their penchant for quizzes and karaoke. If you'd brought a karaoke machine in the pub back when Annie Walker was running it, you'd be wearing it! Raquel tries to assure Bet that the quiz will be a success but that's just as bad. Then they'll want more! She's jiggered either way!

Mavis is fretting about the intrinsic beauty of the street being destroyed by great telescopes poking out through roofs. Mr. Sugden points out that the telescope would only be sticking out at night so she wouldn't see it but she's even more disturbed by the thought that Curly could be using his telescope to spy on the neighbours. Rita has a little fun at Mavis' expense by teasing her that Curly would much rather be watching heavenly bodies than looking at Derek in his Rupert Bear boxers (who knew!? LOL) Mavis is startled and guiltily asks how Rita knew! (ROFL I though Rita was making it up!) "Mavis, if you want secrecy you'll have to start hanging your washing out at night!"

At Bettabuys, Curly doesn't think Reg's idea of having the quiz as a "war between the sexes" will work. Reg is sure it will with his firm hand guiding the ship, the waters will surely be smooth sailing. Vera comes along caterwauling down the aisle, pleading for Reg to let her be on the team too. Reg tries to get out of it but is worn down by Vera's wittering on about how much (how little) she knows about the Royal Family and gives in.

Jack interrupts Bet who's labouring over the accounts and worrying that the Brewery wants higher target figures for sales. She and Jack talk about quizzes and ale selling promotions for a few minutes until Bet reminds Jack why he came in. Oh yes, Bet had wanted to know when Rita came in the bar and she's there now.

Out in the bar, Percy tells Raquel that he'll be avoiding the quiz and staying home with his book. Raquel admits she's never read a book in her life, "too many words!" and sticks with magazine articles. (surprise, surprise!) Bet comes through to ask Rita to come in tonight to give her a bit of moral support against Randy Reg. Rita thinks Bet is well able to tie a knot in Reg's "aspirations" but Bet doesn't fancy a term inside for GBH at her age and offers Rita a drink after hours if she agrees. (All she had to do was remind Rita how she provided similar support when Rita was on the receiving end of Reg's lust)

Jim finishes a morning's work at the garage and has promised to give Steve a driving lesson before getting a few hours kip. Kevin agrees Jim can help out on a part time basis for the duration except Doug pulls up shortly after in his classic car (Jag? Not sure but it's quite spiffy!) looking sheepish and promising a good explanation so they take themselves to the pub.

And it's this: Doug Murray really is indeed Dave Matthews and he's running from a bailiff who's after his car which is fairly paid for and owned. But the thing is, he had his own business down south repairing and restoring classic cars. Business was booming so he took on more loans to expand and even mortgaged his house some more and , yes, then lost it all in the crash. The bank took everything and what they didn't, his blonde bombshell of a girlfriend did. He ran out on the rest of his debts but truly wants to make amends and pay them back a little each week to avoid jail. His sister (that's the one Kevin went to see) was told to say nowt to anyone. Kevin agrees to give Doug one more chance.

Outside, Steve comes careening around the corner with the screech of tires like Mario Andretti. A pale Jim lectures him about speeding and then gets out. He encounters Kevin and Doug emerging from the pub and is told that Kevin is giving Doug another chance. Jim's disappointed but as Kevin had always been up front with him, gives way graciously.

Reg starts setting up for the quiz during pub closing hours. Raquel is up on a chair fixing lights and Reg is testing out the microphone with a squawking few words of "My Way" howled at the top of his lungs before Raquel stops him. He takes advantage of the view of her bum at his eye level but she turns his offer of a hand (or two) down off the chair. Bet is called to have a look at the set with it's Vegas style lights around the banner. Reg attempts to get in Bet's good graces by proposing future collaborations but all he gets for his trouble are more dagger looks.

Gail and Martin get ready to go for the quiz. Carmel promises the kids that they too shall have their own quiz before bedtime. Gail seems to have already heard about the men vs. women teams and warns Martin that the girls aren't as daft as they are cabbage looking (I'm not even going to attempt to guess where that phrase originated!)

Neil seems to have accomplished quite a lot since measuring up the other day as the skylight and glass are already installed in Curly's roof, much to Mavis's dismay. She and Derek make their way across the road, Derek quite looking forward to the quiz though he questions Reg's judgement not making him team captain. Good choice, Reg, as we will see later on Deirdre bumps into Ken as she's locking up. He's on his way for another date with Maggy and she's on her way to the quiz too. She tries to pry some details out of him with one or two nosy and leading questions, trying to find out if he's serious. He protests that it's much too early for that yet but it seems to have sparked an idea in his head. Stay tuned.

Reg, sporting a paisley vest over a striped shirt and red bow tie, is accompanied by a gussied-up Raquel in that abbreviated frock. There is some confusion as Reg and Raquel try to organize the contestants and while they herd the punters, Rita and Bet observe from the bar that Reg could have been a good circus ringmaster. Rita goes so far as to wish she had the chance to see Reg put his head in the lion's mouth, a hungry one, Bet adds and the two women giggle conspiratorially. Bet's laughter is cut short when she sees Wilmore arrive to oversee the pub's first quiz but she pastes her smile on and greets him.

The quiz begins and the microphone packs it in before the first question! (Friday the 13th remember?) The contestants are a jovial, well oiled lot and seem ready for a good time as jokes are cracked and the quiz master is heckled. The rules are read out to some confusion. The team captain must answer the team questions but each person will also be asked individual questions as well. That cleared up, the gentlemen are asked the first question of the night, What was the colour of the Red Baron's airplane? Red is too obvious, in Derek's opinion, it must have been white to camouflage against the sky. The men debate this point but in the end Curly answers White and is wrong of course, much to the glee of the women's team (Deirdre, Mavis, Gail and Vera) and the agony of the men (Curly, Martin, Jack and Derek).

"Smell that" eh? We see a dark street but are soon transported inside a quiet restaurant where Ken is describing a particular wine to Maggy. (oh, right. Um, is that something like "pull my finger"?) Anyway, Maggy knows nothing about wine but Ken counters with his ignorance of flowers so they're even. Ken dreams of a holiday through the Bordeaux region of France on a wine tasting holiday in the spring. Sounds lovely comments Maggy, giving Ken the opening he wanted now that he's had the "serious" idea launched. He invites her to come with him but when she hesitates, he back pedals and apologizes for taking too much of a leap over his mark. Maggy is somewhat encouraging and tells him you get nowhere by standing still.

Back to the pub, the quiz is hotting up. The question on the board is "What is ESP"? Jack, in his enthusiasm, hollers out It's the racehorse that won the Derby! The men groan and the women hoot when Reg smugly calls another wrong answer. But because Jack wasn't the team captain, the men protest that the question should be disqualified and they should get another. The women get into the argument and calls for a ruling are asked for. Vera gets angry and threatens to quit so the men call for forfeit and the whole lot descend into a shouting and finger pointing match. Reg is unable to perform adequate crowd control and Raquel stalks off in a tantrum. Bet looks horrified as Wilmore stalks out of the pub in disgust, fearing her fate may be sealed as confusion reigns around her.

Diane Johnston

Richard Wilmore: OLIVER BEAMISH
Written by HARRY DUFFIN Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Friday (3465, Wednesday 18 November 1992)

It's Lisa's birthday today. As she collects the milk from the doorstep, the postman greets her with a handful of mail. She smiles in anticipation but her face soon clouds as she doesn't find what she hopes for. But wait, here's a delivery truck pulling up... Alas, it stops next door at No. 7, dropping off two rather large boxes with Angie.

Lisa returns to the sitting room where Jack and Vera are having their morning bicker. She takes out the one piece of mail that's addressed to her, dropping the rest on the table. Opening it, she takes out the notes her parents have sent and leaves the card behind as she goes upstairs. Her in-laws notice her sullenness and as Vera retrieves the card, they realise for the first time that it's her birthday. Jack comments that it's down to Terry that Lisa's in her present mood while Vera defends their son vigorously - he'll have sent summat in the second post!

Meanwhile, the delivery next door is being unpacked. Curly can barely contain his excitement as he tells Angie about his new six-inch reflective motorized telescope! Angie questions whether Mrs. Watts to-be will love it as much and Curly protests that of course she will - after all, it's a part of him! "Oh so it's 'love me, love my six-inch motorized reflective thing'?" grins Angie sarcastically.

In the Kabin, Raquel sees Lisa thumbing through the greeting cards and asks whose birthday it is. When she hears it's Lisa's, Raquel asks what she got and is told about the money from her parents and, as Lisa adds hurriedly, the "beautiful big card" from Terry. Asked what she plans to spend the money on, Lisa answers that she's planning to buy some baby clothes for Tom. But Raquel tells her she can't do that - she must get herself a new frock, or new hair, or a new fella! She invites her to come into the Rovers later for a celebratory drink. As Lisa leaves the shop, Mike Baldwin enters. Mavis mentions poor Lisa's plight, missing Terry on her birthday and that much as "absence makes the heart grow fonder" it must be very hard on her. Mike reckons that where Terry Duckworth is concerned, "absence" is his best feature!

As Deirdre irons Tracy's belongings, she comes across an article she doesn't recognize. Asking her daughter about it, she's told that it's new, something Tracy bought with her babysitting funds as she's been sitting more than expected. (Hah! It doesn't hurt when they double pay you, does it, Trace?) Turning the topic to Deirdre's life, or lack of one, Tracy asks when she's going to start getting out socially. Deirdre protests that only last week she was invited out for a drink, (neglecting to mention that Doug Murray stood her up!) and is rewarded with, "Get a life, Mum!" from a disgusted Tracy.

Curly spots Kimberly in Bettabuys, shopping the pet food aisle of all things. He casually asks whether she has a dog and she answers with a curt, "What business is it of yours if I have?" She continues by badgering him about "removing the roof" from their marital home without so much as a "by your leave" until Curly quietens her down with the promise of a surprise. Suddenly she changes her tune and agrees to come over that evening, giving him kisses as she goes.

Lisa has taken Raquel's advice re the hairdo and now shows it off for Deirdre in the Corner Shop. Asking whether it's a special occasion, Deirdre is told there probably won't be any of those before Terry gets out. Still, Deirdre suggests, it's a shame to waste it on the Duckworths - another suggestion for Lisa to get out and have some fun tonight. She mentions R Tracy's comment about her mother having no life just as Doug Murray happens in. Lisa catches on that he wants to speak to Deirdre alone so she makes her excuses to go. Doug offers an apology for not showing up the last time they arranged to meet and asks if he can make it up to her tonight. Deirdre answers coolly that he doesn't owe her anything but harkening back to Tracy's words, agrees to go for a drink at his suggestion.

In an attempt to make up for R Turry's thoughtlessness, Vera has got some flowers in for Lisa. As Lisa enters the room, her face lights up to see them but she is deflated when she realizes they aren't from Terry. Never mind, Vera tells her, she's got a nice weepy movie, a box of tissues and some nice chocolates in - what could be nicer, eh? She would offer to babysit, she says, only she knows that Lisa has nowhere to go. "No Vera - tissues are just what I need", answers Lisa with resignation.

Another pearl of wisdom from Tracy. She comes upon Deirdre in the sitting room enjoying a few chocolates and offers a Freudian analysis. It's "sublimation" according to Tracy, her mother is substituting chocs when all she really wants is a man! But Deirdre is ready for her this time. She informs Tracy that once you're a grown up you realize what you really wanted was the chocolate - the men are just there to buy it for you. "I'm just cutting out the middle man", mocks Deirdre as she pops another one in her mouth. Her theory dismissed, Tracy reaches out for a chocolate but is told by her mother, "No way, we're not having you sublimating all over the livingroom!" The doorbell rings and Deirdre motions for Tracy to get it. "Can't be for me", she reminds her, "I don't have a life!" But surprise, it is for her, it's Doug Murray arrived to take her out for a drink. Abandoning the chocolates to Tracy's care, Deirdre hears of his plan for a nice little drive out to Cheshire, where he knows a little pub "with a fireplace" that does great snacks.

The Duckworths are now bickering over the tape, specifically, its inability to play. As they argue over whether it's the tape or the tracking, Lisa sits in the background oblivious to their sniping, popping one choccie after another into her mouth. Jack offers to plug in "The Great Escape" to prove to Vera that there's nothing wrong with the VCR. "Don't be so daft, yer great crate-egg! She don't want remindin' of R Turry!" Vera snaps. "If it wasn't for R Terry she wouldn't be sat here, would she?" retorts Jack. With that, Lisa has taken all she can. She rises and lashes out of her own accord: "Don't talk about me as if I wasn't here!" Anyway, she demands, what's it to them if Terry forgot her birthday? He has more to think about than the date where he is!

Vera begins to stammer her agreement just as Jack announces that he's fixed the "problem" - it only needed rewinding! "Oh well done, Jack!" Vera smiles. But Lisa isn't waiting for the next battle. She's on her way to fetch her coat, leaving Jack and Vera to mind Tommy. Vera readily agrees, saying she can always come and get her if he wakes - she'll only be in the Rovers, after all, won't she? "Yes Vera - where else have I got to go?" snaps Lisa on her way out. As an afterthought, she pops her head back in to remark that neither of them even noticed her new hairdo! Vera immediately apologizes while Jack says that although he noticed, he "didn't like to say anything"... Lisa closes the door abruptly and goes out, leaving them to make their excuses to one another. Vera sighs that it was nice to hear the girl stick up for R Turry, while Jack only comments, "She had her share of the chocolates!"

As she makes her way to the Rovers, Lisa passes by Deirdre and Doug, just getting into his posh car. Deirdre exclaims about it and he says to enjoy it now as he won't have it long! Lisa makes a quiet comment to Deirdre about having "got a life" and they share a giggle before going their separate ways. In the car, Doug takes pains to explain to Deirdre that he's been running from debtors. Over her protests that he shouldn't feel obligated to tell her, he insists on revealing that the car is the only thing he has left, and he reckons he won't have it for long!

In the Rovers, Des is looking for a partner to play darts but not having much luck as everyone else seems otherwise occupied. Steve and Angie are at the bar, Steve telling her there can be no more favours in view of Mike's reaction to the last one he did for her. Lisa timidly enters and looks around for a friendly face. Gail, who has just come in also, offers to get her a drink but having spotted Des, Lisa politely declines and goes over to join him. Lisa is gratified when Des immediately notices her striking new hairdo and compliments her on it. From across the bar, Raquel, in fairy-godmother mode, leans over to tell Des that he'd better not be asking Lisa to play darts on her birthday! On hearing that it's her special day, he says he was just about to go for a meal and offers to bring her along. It's "more a take-away", he explains, "except that you eat in". Stopping to consider the offer briefly, Lisa readily accepts the offer.

Kimberly arrives at No. 7 anxious to see the "surprise" that Curly has in store. He tries to hold off the moment of truth, offering her red wine, but she won't be waylaid. On learning that the surprise is in the attic, she immediately guesses it's a telescope and reacts with outrage. Curly begs her to stay and at least look at it, so he can show her his "dreams" but she's having none of it. "You just dream on, Norman Watts! Or should I say, '40 Watts'!" she snaps before slamming the door behind her. The noise has roused Angie who now wanders downstairs to see what the commotion's about. In no mood to explain (or hear, "I told you so") Curly sulkily retreats upstairs, telling her he'll be in the attic!

In the Chinese "eat-in take-away", Lisa and Des are enjoying their food and chatting quietly. Lisa reminisces about her 21st, only a year ago, when her father put on a big do in her honour, complete with a fortune teller. She recounts being told that she would marry and have babies, adding with a note of irony, that the woman said nothing about prison. "But *you're* not in prison", Des offers. "No, but I might as well be", Lisa sighs. Cheerily, Des suggests that she and Terry will have a wonderful life when he gets out, to which Lisa responds with a flight of fantasy: "Oh yes, I'm all that keeps him going - the love Terry has for me occupies his every waking moment, it's *so* intense!"

Sensing Curly is in need of some sympathy, Angie brings some up to him in the attic, along with a cup of tea. Sitting down beside him, she invites him to educate her about his new telescope. Downcast, Curly tells her there isn't much point when you have no one to share it with. When Angie takes a peek through the lens and comments on the magnificent view of the moon, he waxes eloquent about the majesty of space. She looks at him in wonder and asks how he ever came to be known as '40 Watts'? "Not because I was dim," he answers, "No, it was owing to the shape of my head". "But why '40' Watts? I'd have called you '150 Watts' because you're brilliant!" Gratified by the compliment, Curly only answers that his friends in school "couldn't count that high!" As she leaves him to his stars and his dreams, Angie leans over and gives him a light kiss on the nose. (This scene was so sweet and tender it left me convinced - if I needed convincing - that Curly and Angie utterly belonged together!)

At the end of the movie, Jack has fallen asleep but Vera is in tears. She confesses she's crying more for poor Lisa than the film and resolves to go and make up to her for a disappointing birthday by buying her a drink now. As she takes herself off to the Rovers, she notices for the first time that Jack's nodded off. Leaning over him, she barks in his face to wake him up with a caution to listen for the baby!

At the restaurant, Lisa is beginning to think it's time they left. But no sooner has she suggested it, than a pudding is brought out with a lighted candle in honour of her birthday. Embarrassed, Lisa blows the candle out and admits with shame that she hasn't so much as had a card from Terry. Des is surprised at the revelation since she earlier told him the same lie she'd told Raquel, that she received from him a "big beautiful" one. Tearfully, she confesses that she can't be sure Terry even loves her. Here she is, trapped with a baby, no money and Vera watching her every move - and yet, "I could cope if only I knew..."

Meanwhile, Vera comes into the Rovers and finding Lisa nowhere in sight, asks Raquel if she's been in. Raquel cheerily tells her that she's gone for a meal with Des and adds unwittingly, "I told her if she got a new hairdo she'd get a new bloke and she did!" Far from being pleased at the news, Vera clenches her jaw in indignation.

Anita Belanger

Tom Duckworth DARRYL EDWARDS Doug Murray BRIAN HIBBARD
Written by FRANK COTTRELL-BOYCE Directed by BRIAN MILLS


Originally transmitted: 20, 23, 25, 27 & 30 November 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 24 - Friday 28 January 2000
Episode Numbers: 3466 - 3470

Monday (3466, Friday 20 November 1992)

Vera sits down to breakfast. I'm wondering how she can get her toast through her lips as they're pursed so tightly in disapproval at how late Lisa got home. Vera knows Lisa was out with That Des Barnes (TDB) as does Jack. But Jack warns Vera to keep quiet in front of Lisa lest she pack up and leave. Lisa isn't there at the moment and Vera viciously scrapes butter on her toast while she continues, "you know where that'll lead to?!" Jack speculates that a man and a woman can go out for a bite without it leading to anything these days, it's a different generation and different attitudes. After all, Curly and Angie share a house without ever laying a finger on each other (well, hardly ever!) but Vera doesn't buy the theory. Men don't change their attitudes from one generation to the next. Plain as day motives, she calls it. Jack hushes Vera as Lisa arrives with the baby but Vera manages to nonchalantly slide in a few prying questions that reveal quite a lot. Lisa lies and says she didn't go anywhere other than a couple of drinks at the Rovers. With that, Vera looks at Jack pointedly and comments in a deceptively congenial tone of voice "What was that you were saying about different generations and different attitudes"?

Derek goes trudging behind the paper deliverers, just as unwillingly off to school. Mavis sympathizes and notes that dealing with Dirty Harry is causing Derek very restless nights. Derek wonders if all caretakers are that brusque and offhanded with people, a result of so much isolation. As if to punctuate the point, Percy comes in, his usual crotchety self, impatiently waiting while Mavis sees Derek off at the door of the Kabin with a kiss and a suggestion that he give up the job if it's so terrible. Derek isn't quite ready to throw in the towel yet however.

Reg tries to persuade Curly to be the Quiz team captain for a brewery league match next week. He of course tries to get out of it even though Reg points out it will make Kimberly proud. That brings up a sore subject and Curly ruefully declares that Kimberly isn't proud of much that he does these days.

Doug, Kevin and Jim have a morning coffee out front of the garage. Doug peels the tarp off his lovely bottle green (whatever kind of car it is, but it IS lovely! LOL!) much to the admiration of the other men. Liz passes by for a minute on her way to work and changes the conversation for a minute to Jim's boring night job. After she leaves, Doug watches her with as much admiration as Jim mustered for the car and then expresses a few regrets for his broken relationship with the bird that left him when he lost his money. The car is the only thing he's got left. And he won't have that for long either because a bit later that big ugly bailiff from last week comes by with a bigger uglier friend to reposess the car. Doug is served papers with the added bad luck of Mike Baldwin coming in just then. So not only does Doug lose his car, he loses his job when Mike sacks him! (I think he could take Mike to a tribunal for that.)

At school,, Derek is given another task of Dirty Harry and finally Derek has the gumption to complain out loud. Potter leans back with the look in his eye of a lion stalking prey and suggests Derek write his complaint in formal terms to his union representative. Oh? Not in a union? (feel that noose a bit tighter, Dirk?) Potter produces the application forms for Derek and leaps in for the killÖ He's the union representative, by the way, did he not say?

Also on the school grounds, Tracy is greeted by Maggy who's come for Mark and Maggy offers Tracy a part time job on Saturdays helping out at the shop. Tracy is chuffed and will ask permission straight away.

In the pub around dinnertime Jim, dead on his feet, finishes his pint before heading home to bed. He tells Liz that Steve might pass his test if he can keep the speed under check and takes off, leaving Liz to suffer the rest of Percy's lecture about too many drivers on the road these days. Behind the bar, Bet is sounding out Raquel and Jack on whether they should continue having a quiz team. Neither is very helpful so Bet is still on the fence about it.

Kevin confronts Mike about sacking Doug. Mike pretends that he fired Doug because Doug was taking advantage, hiding the car on Baldwin's premises but we all know it's just Mike being Mike and no day is complete without making someone else miserable. Kevin manages to convince his boss that he's getting a really good bargain because Doug is well over qualified to be working there for what little Mike is paying him. Never one to cut off his nose to spite his face where money is concerned, Mike reconsiders and tells Kevin to find Doug and give him his job back. (Far be it from Mike to admit publicly he was wrong!) Kevin finds Doug in the pub and Doug welcomes the good news even though Mike comes in directly and suggests that Doug declare bankruptcy to clear his debts and start over (actually sound advice for the trouble Doug is in).

Derek cleans a school sign when he notices Dirty Harry leaving early as usual and he picks another argument about being left in charge and only being an assistant. Harry points out that it will give Derek much needed experience and by the time he leaves, Derek turns around to find that a student has sprayed the sign with yellow paint.

Angie comes home after work to find Curly chilling out on the sofa, having had a horrible day even if he only understood about half of it. He's had Vera trying to get him and Kimberly to invite Lisa out (and away from the clutches of TDB) and he's had Reg on to him about quiz teams. Angie asks if Kim will be over later and Curly confirms that she is but no, she probably won't want to bother with the telescope. He seems ready for a row and vows that even if they're married 20 years she'd probably never set foot in the attic anyway. Angie laughs and likens it to Mrs. Rochester from Jane Eyre, the shocking secret in the attic only it's a telescope not a mad wife! (you're not helping matters, Angie! )

Vera helps Lisa bath the baby and after jack leaves for work she makes sly "helpful" comments geared to make Lisa consider her husband, pitifully behind bars. After all, Terry does love her, is probably sorry he forgot her birthday and misses bonding with the baby but Lisa is leaning alarmingly towards unconcern, reckoning that even if Terry was around, he'd probably be like Jack was and never there when it came to minding the baby anyway. Vera suggests a letter might cheer Terry but Lisa doesn't seem overly enthusiastic about that idea either and when Vera sharply admonishes her for her attitude towards her husband, Lisa comes that close to rolling her eyes, the eyes that no longer have stars in them where Terry is concerned.

Kim sulks on the sofa and after taking a deep breath, basically winds up that high pitched nerve-grating hair curling screech, very much like what I picture Vera to be at that age. Angie makes tracks and gets out of the way (as she prefers her hair straight) while Kimberly attacks Curly for spending £1200 on a telescope, accusing him of caring little for her or their marriage. And when she finds out he's bought it on time, she reaches fever pitch as it means he'll pay even more because Daddy saysÖ. He has had enough and hollers right back at her that he doesn't care what Daddy says and it's his money anyway!!! Oh it's going to be like that is it? What's yours is yours and what's hers is hers??? She never wants to set eyes on the telescope again, she screams! Curly stands his ground and screams back Fair Enough!!!!

Tonight in the pub Mike and Alma discuss Doug's financial woes. Derek tells Mavis about his day and finally decides he's had enough and is going to resign. Mavis congratulates him as she feels it's best as well. Derek has realized that he's been carrying a weight around and all he has to do is let go and now feels quite free, having made the decision. Reg arrives and tries to charm Bet into another "meeting" to coordinate the quiz team's future but, shrinking from his gaze and staying well out of his reach, Bet decides on the spot that there will be no quiz team. She's putting her foot down and can't handle a disaster like the last quiz. Reg argues that it would be a feather in her cap where the Brewery is concerned but she snaps back in what I'm crowning the Line of the Day "I don't suit feathers!" (timed perfectly, this from the woman who regularly sports sequins, peplums, a long ciggie holder, matching red nail varnish and heels and bubble hair wigs!)

In the last bit, Vera comes in to see Jack and informs him that she's called the prison to be allowed to visit Terry on a non-visiting day. She's got to do something to stop that marriage from hitting the wall (meaning Des's head will probably be hitting it instead!)

Diane Johnston

Gregg Allott: DAVID J. NICHOLLS
Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Tuesday (3467, Monday 23 November 1992)

Lisa nips off to the store for some milk early on this Monday morning, and Jack takes advantage of her absence to again try to talk Vera out of going to visit Terry in prison. Vera insists she will do no harm, she's just going to suggest he be a more attentive husband to Lisa in any way he can - love letters and cards and suchlike. She is confident she can convince the prison authorities to let her have a special visit. Lisa, meanwhile, runs into Des at the corner shop and asks that he not say anything to Jack and Vera which could inflame the situation, particularly about her wanting to move out. He agrees to help keep the peace.

In the Kabin, Derek waxes eloquent about the restoration of his dignity, an anticipated benefit of his resignation that day. Mavis asks again if Dirk is certain he wants to resign and he assures her that he is "Positive! I've never been more positive of anything in my life!" He goes off to do the deed just as Martin and Carmel arrive to inquire about the apartments, bedsits and so on advertised in the Kabin window - Carmel, of course, is seeking accommodation. Mavis assures them the ads are up to date and they go to have a look.

At Curly's, the man of the house is telling Angie about his latest spat with Kimberley, this time over the telescope. Kimberley said she never wanted to lay eyes on it again and Curly's response was "fair enough!". Curly seems to be trying to convince himself this is a good thing - that he and Kimberley are "setting ground rules" so that when they get married they can still be individuals and live their own lives. Just because he likes astronomy doesn't mean Kimberley must. Angie admires his attitude but notes she doesn't see Kimberley as someone you can just say "fair enough" to. Curly retorts that he knows Kimberley rather better than Angie. "I should hope so - I'm not marrying her!" replies Angie in a tone laced with "better you than me, mate!"

At school, Derek asks to see Mrs. Jeffers (the headmistress) and is told to come back at breaktime. Councilor Potts spies him at the office and accuses him of "chatting up secretaries". He is clearly peeved at Derek associating with the administration and asks if he's shifted those leaves yet. Derek protests that he was waiting for the rain to stop and Potts sneers "frightened of getting wet, now?". He sadistically orders Derek to go out and shift the leaves and as Derek leaves, turns his own attention to the office secretary. "Got a brew on, then?" asks the cheerful hypocrite. The secretary's rolling eyes tell us she appreciates Potts' company as much as Derek does.

Jack and Bet prepare for early opening in the Rovers. Jack asks if Quiz Night is off and Bet assures him shortly it is. Jack's opinion is that Quiz Nights are bad for business anyway, the regular punters stay away for fear of looking stupid and that just leaves you with a bunch of "brain boxes" who won't sup cause they're afraid it'll ruin their chances! Bet, approving of Jack's thinking for once, comments that she'll mention this argument to the brewery. Just then Vera arrives; she's as pleased as punch, having gotten permission from the prison to visit their Turry that afternoon. Jack still disapproves and asks if Lisa knows owt about this plan. No, says Vera, and she won't find out either. She leaves the Rovers pleased with herself.

It is now breaktime and Derek is finally granted an audience with Mrs. Jeffers, who notes that "oh dear", the soaking Dirk "seems to have got caught in the rain". He apologizes for his state, then says he has come to offer his resignation. Mrs. Jeffers is surprised - she thought he was settling in rather well. So did he, Derek admits, until he had a "clash of personalities". Mrs. Jeffers immediately guesses that the problem is Councilor Potts, noting that she's clashed with him herself! "The man is bone idle, full of himself, and a bully!" she declares. She confides that she's made many attempts to get rid of him, but he has friends in high places. She'd need details of his abuses, "chapter and verse" to take to the authorities. They're details which she can't get stuck behind her desk. In fact, she was rather hoping that Derek might supply her with the ammunition to get rid of Potts once and for all. That's why she didn't want Potts' nephew to get the job, she admits. Derek, of course, is hanging on her every word now. Could Derek put up with it for awhile? she asks, in order to gather that sort of evidence? It is highly irregular, but would be in the best interest of the school and everyone in it. "You mean you want me to prepare memoranda on Potts... For Your Eyes Only?" asks Derek excitedly. Jeffers laughs nervously that it all sounds a bit MI5, but she doesn't exactly lessen the drama for Derek when she claims that she "would be shot if anyone got a whiff of it!" You can count on him, says Derek proudly. And, he assures her, this meeting Never Happened!

Vera drops into the Rovers for a half-lager before leaving to see Terry. Jack offers to buy her a hundred if she'll only change her mind and not go, but Vera's mind is made up.

Potts corners Derek in the school and asks why Derek went to see Mrs. Jeffers. Oh yes, he says, he knows everything that goes on in his school! Derek says it was a tax matter - a personal one - and is sorted now. In future, Potts says sharply, HE will deal with any matter concerning Her Ladyship! Having sorted that, Potts announces that he's away until 4:30. Until then, the minivan needs cleaning out - seems some of the children had travel sickness. Instead of expressing dismay at being the victim of Potts' latest torture, Derek merely smiles, leading Potts to regard him with mounting suspicion.

Terry rushes to greet his mother in the prison visiting room. Vera tries to get him to remember what last Tuesday was but he impatiently refuses to guess. When Vera reminds him it was Lisa's birthday, he is furious that she scared him to death with an unscheduled visit for something so unimportant. He thought something was wrong with Tommy. Vera tries to make him see that this is important too - at least, more important than he seems to think. His continuing dismissal of the significance of missing Lisa's birthday leads Vera to go a little further and a little further with her admonishments until she is warning him about a pretty girl like Lisa, all alone, husband in prison, and blokes "right on our doorstep" who would be glad to step in! Now Terry senses something's up. Right on their doorstep? His first guess is that Curly is involved. No, no, assures Vera. When Terry asks about that other bloke - Des Barnes - Vera damns Des by only replying that she isn't saying there's anything going on, mind! Terry is undoubtedly furious at Des but covers it up, telling Vera he understands that she's right about the folly of neglecting Lisa and he is no longer angry at her for coming to see him. Vera, foolishly feeling all warm and fuzzy at having her knucklehead son "forgive" her, fairly glows.

Carmel comes into the Cafe for a cup of tea and a sympathetic ear regarding her apartment hunting. Everything she's seen has been awful, she complains. When she sits down with her tea, Alma mentions to Gail that Alma's nice flat over the Cafe is free now that she and Mike are married. Perhaps it would be suitable for Carmel? Gail approaches Carmel with the suggestion. Carmel first puts Gail off by saying that she's seen too many flats that day and couldn't bear to look at another right now. Then she quickly continues by asking how many bedrooms the flat has? When she finds out there's one, Carmel continues that it wouldn't be suitable at all, as she was hoping for a place that three or four of her fellow nursing students could share. Gail nods uncertainly and says ok, then. Rejoining Alma, she conveys this response, but Gail and Alma's raised eyebrows and exchanged looks make it clear that something about Carmel's reasons for refusing the apartment don't seem quite right.

Derek is now back in the bosom of the Kabin, and Mavis is absolutely discombobulated at the new turn of events. He hasn't resigned? No, replies Derek earnestly, Mrs. Jeffers needs him to be a secret agent! Mavis looks in despair at Rita, who replies deadpan, "Don't look at me - he's your husband." "You aren't licensed to kill, are you, Derek?" Rita goes on, and Derek quite seriously replies "Unfortunately, no - but I wouldn't have to look far for a victim if I was." Reeking of intrigue, he leaves after refusing - but only just - Rita's offer to check and make sure he hadn't been followed. In response to Mavis' despair at this new turn of events, Rita replies that Mavis wanted Derek happy - and he sure is! (One gets the feeling that Derek's been waiting his WHOLE LIFE for something like this to happen to him.)

Vera has arrived home and pauses in the entryway to tell Jack how her visit with Terry went. Jack is simply worried about Lisa finding out about the trip and Vera assures him that Terry knows not to breathe a word. (These are sounding like Soap Opera Phrases of Doom, no?) She assures Jack that Terry is going to do something wonderful for Lisa in the next few days, a surprise to make up for missing her birthday. Jack is naturally skeptical. They go into the kitchen, where Lisa's made their tea. Vera is bubbling over and tells Lisa that she read in Lisa's horoscope that something wonderful is going to happen to her. Lisa replies dryly that she'll believe it when she sees it. Oh, no, Vera assures her, it *must* be true or they wouldn't be allowed to print it! She gives Jack a broad, exaggerated wink behind Lisa's back. Jack rolls his eyes in despair.

Back at Casa Curly, Angie asks if Kimberley has been in touch all day and Curly confirms she hasn't, but insists they didn't have a row, just a "difference of opinion". Just then, Kimberley arrives and Angie leaves to give them some privacy. She goes to the Rovers, where she runs into Mike and Alma Baldwin. She pays Mike the rest of the money owed for using his t-shirt printing equipment and Mike is impressed when Angie informs him she made a couple of hundred quid on the shirts. When Angie leaves, Mike comments to Alma that Angie isn't only a good businesswoman, but a good designer.

Secret Agent Double-Oh-Naught and Miss Moneypenney sip a drink in a corner of the pub. Mavis frets that Derek will get the worst of things if Potts knows that he's spying. Derek retorts that the only thing Potts will know is that he's been asked for his resignation!

Gail and Martin discuss the day's events at the bar. Gail reports the conversation in the cafe when Carmel insisted she needed a place for 3 or 4 people. Martin is just as certain that this morning Carmel was looking for herself and herself alone. What could be behind Miss Finnian's fancy footwork?

Mike approaches Angie at the bar and wonders if they might consider working together. Angie is interested but makes it clear that Baldwin won't be taking advantage of her. They agree to meet the next day to discuss the possibilities.

Kimberley was in a stroppy mood and poised for confrontation from the moment she arrived at Curly's house. We now join full gale-force Kimberley shrieking at Curly about how much cash he's spent on the telescope and observatory renovations. Why didn't he consult her first? Curly, who is sitting resignedly on the sofa letting this relentless fury wash over him, replies that he didn't think she'd be interested. He also tries pointing out that it was his money and his to do with as he wanted. She howls that his money is not his to do with as he wants if he's married to her! She wants him to return the telescope. He said he got it on easy terms, right? Well now he can return it! Curly doesn't have a chance to get a word in edgewise as she gets up to leave, shouting that Curly must decide what's more important to him - "our marriage or that stupid toy that's up in the loft!" The door slams behind her and Curly, who's barely moved during this entire tirade, sits shellshocked on the sofa in the sudden vacuum as credits begin to roll.

ronniecat

Mrs. Jeffers: ROMY BASKERVILLE Harry Potts: RUSSELL DIXON School Secretary: SUE RACE
Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by EUGENE FERGUSON

Wednesday (3468, Wednesday 25 November 1992)

We begin this episode at Curly's house. Angie comes into the living room and asks if he's come to any decisions yet -- will it be Kimberley or the telescope? Curly is of the opinion that he'll be able to have both. As far as he's concerned, women like to create little disturbances for attention, and all Kimberley is doing is crying out for reassurance. Angie wonders if Curly didn't create a crisis in order to push Kimberley into breaking off the relationship, but Curly swears that men aren't that devious.

Down the street, Vera seems to be hanging about, so Jack tells her that if she doesn't get a move on, she'll be late for work. Vera claims she can't find her car keys, but they're in easy sight on the end table. She kisses little Tommy goodbye before finally heading for the door.

At the Kabin, Mavis is fussing over Derek, making sure he has his gloves in case he has to work outside today. Derek is infused with new energy now that he's been recruited to "spy" on Councillor Potts, and he tells Mavis that he's happy he's not the only one determined to see Potts thrown out of his job. Rita offers a word of warning, though, cautioning Derek that he could end up in the middle of a very nasty situation. Mavis agrees, but our stalwart Derek informs them both that as a seasoned businessman, he's used to "vicious jungle fighting."

Vera gets into her car and finally pulls away from the curb while Lisa stands on the sidewalk and waves her off. Instead of beetling off to work, though, Vera creeps along while watching in her rear-view mirror as a white van pulls up in front of their home. A man emerges and hands Lisa a large bouquet of flowers. Mission accomplished, Vera finally speeds off, with numerous cars honking at her.

Inside, Lisa shows the bouquet to Jack while she reads the card -- from Terry, with all his love. "Awww," she sighs to little Tommy, "he didn't forget my birthday after all." Jack smiles grimly at this happy scene.

Gail and Alma agree that the freezers have to be cleaned, but the job can't be accomplished during working hours. Alma is all for putting it off until the weekend, but Gail is concerned that an impromptu inspection by the Health Department could put them in bother. They even think of hiring Phyllis to do the work, but Gail feels they'll only have to re-do the job as a consequence. It's finally agreed that they'll do it that night, after closing hours, so Gail rings Carmel.

Meanwhile, our beloved Irish lodger is going through Gail's and Martin's personal belongings, and pulls an envelope of snapshots from a table in the living room. Going through the photographs, she finds one of Gail and Martin, but her mission is interrupted by the ringing telephone. Gail tells her that she'll need to work late, cleaning the freezers, and as always, Carmel is more than happy to prepare tea for Martin and the children. Off the telephone, Carmel cuts the picture of Gail and Martin in half, crumpling Gail's half in her hand.

Ken rings Maggie and tells her he just wanted to hear her voice, but as he attempts to arrange another date, Derek interrupts the conversation, armed with his step-ladder and new light bulbs. Ken promises to call Maggie later, and as he steadies the ladder, he comments that Derek seems to have settled in well in his new employment. Derek, who obviously feels like a man on a secret mission, speaks in riddles when he informs Ken that he's challenged more than settled.

The cursed Richard Willmore is back at the Rover's Return, and this time he's upset about quiz night. Bet was to have organized a team to play off against other pubs, which hasn't been done, and he was of the opinion that this was a clear understanding. Bet tells him that as far as she's concerned, the Rover's Return isn't a quiz sort of pub, but Willmore feels she should have made that clear at the outset. Bet reminds him that he didn't ask her opinion -- he simply presented the quiz as something she "had" to do. An impatient Willmore tells her the quiz is simply a means to an end, a way to increase trade. If a quiz isn't the answer, he bluntly tells her, she'd better find something else. After all, there are at least a dozen young couples who would gladly step into her shoes. As they walk out into the pub, which is dead quiet, Willmore tells Bet that he had his doubts when Alec left, but he thought she could make a success with her tenancy. He reminds her that she has a few months left to improve things, or he'll have to make changes. "Think about it" he snaps on his way out.

At the Corner Shop, Tracy moans about her day at school, and when Audrey reminds her that it could be worse -- she could be stuck in a little shop all day, Tracy tells her that she now has a part-time job in a flower shop. Audrey wonders how all this came to pass so quickly, and Deirdre tells her that the shop is owned by a Mrs. Redman, Ken's new "lady friend." As always, Audrey is anxious for details, but when Ken enters (having just heard his name mentioned), an embarrassed Audrey can only ask him what time it is.

At the Kabin, Bet is filling Rita in on her latest visit from Willmore, prompting Rita to wonder if he's part of the Newton and Ridley family. Bet says he isn't -- all the old fellows of Newton and Ridley are either retired or dead, and they've been replaced by accountants. Things weren't so bad until Alec sold the tenancy, she remarks, but if she loses her job, she loses her home as well.

Vera arrives home and makes a point of admiring the flowers. While Lisa goes on about Terry not forgetting her birthday, and how difficult it must have been for him to arrange their delivery, Jack gives Vera the evil eye. "It goes to show how much he loves you," gushes Vera, as Lisa gathers up the baby and heads upstairs to bathe him. After Lisa's departure from the room, Jack tells Vera that he knows that she, not Terry, sent those flowers. Vera shushes him, fearful that Lisa will hear, advising that she'll "swing for him" if he lets on.

Gail and Alma close the Cafe for another day, and Alma sighs that she's just too tired to tackle the freezers as well. "Sooner started, sooner finished," is Gail's advice, so while Alma dreams of the drink she'll have with Mike afterward, Gail fantacises over her hot bath, with Martin scrubbing her back.

Martin gets home and complains about an exam he had that day while Carmel lays on the flattery about what a good nurse he'll make when he's finished the course. Instead of telling him that Gail has to stay late at the Cafe to clean the freezers, she comments that Gail hasn't arrived home yet, so offers to make the tea while Martin relaxes.

Curly arrives at the Taylor's, and Mrs. Taylor shows him in. Kimberley, who is seated on the couch, shows no interest in Curly's arrival, so Mrs. Taylor drags Mr. Taylor into the kitchen, supposedly to do the washing-up. Curly immediately apologises for their disagreement, but also says he won't get rid of the telescope. "It's just symbolic" screeches Kimberley, but Curly misunderstands and agrees, thinking the telescope is symbolic of his interests outside their relationship. Kimberley, however, sees it as a symbol of Curly's self-centred attitude. "You don't love me," she asserts; "you think only of yourself." All of this proves only one thing to her -- Curly isn't ready for marriage. He argues that he does want to get married, but his pleas fall on deaf ears. Kimberley wants to finish it.

Back at the Rover's Return, Mike tells Angie that he's landed another t-shirt contract and asks if she's interested. Angie makes it clear that she doesn't want a "one off" -- she wants a percentage of the profits. Bet, meanwhile, apologizes to Rita for moaning about things that afternoon, and asks her how things are progressing with Ted's family. Rita isn't interested in negotiating with the Brookes anymore, so has turned the entire matter over to her solicitor. At a nearby table, Mavis comments to Derek that Rita is a widow, and Bet has been abandoned by her husband, so she feels very lucky. Alma and Gail arrive, having finally finished the freezers, and Mike orders them both a large drink. He also introduces Angie as his "new partner."

Everyone has finished their tea at the Platt residence, and Martin continues to wonder where Gail can be at this hour. Carmel finally allows that Gail said she "might" have to work late. Sarah-Louise insists she wants a bath before going to bed, but Martin isn't in the mood, given that he has a lot of studying to do, so the ever-helpful Carmel offers to take over. Martin insists that she carry on with her previous plans to spend the evening out, but Carmel claims that she's just as happy to stay in.

Mr. and Mrs. Taylor come out of the kitchen to bid Curly good-night, but Curly corrects them and tells them that this is goodbye. After he leaves, mommy demands an explanation, and when Kimberley informs them that she's finished with him, mommy tells her not to be so silly and to go after him. "You're getting married this spring," mommy gasps -- "Randolph! Speak to her!" Daddy allows that they may have had a lover's quarrel, but Kimberley stands her ground and insists that she's not going to marry Curly. "But... you've let him have his way with you -- he *has* to marry you!" mommy reminds her. Kimberley thinks it's just as well that things worked out as they have -- as far as she's concerned, Curly doesn't love her, and this way a lot of people will be saved the cost of buying them expensive wedding gifts. "You're marrying him, and that's that!" says mommy, but Kimberley will not be bullied by her mother. "It's my life, and I'll do with it what I want" is her final word on the subject. I, for one, send up a silent prayer of thanks that I won't have to endure that voice any longer. I'd rather listen to fingernails on a blackboard!

Gail finally gets home and is a little dumbfounded to learn that Carmel has not passed her message on to Martin, so she explains that she had to clean the freezers and then went for a drink. Martin, however, sees the whole situation as an imposition on Carmel, who did, after all, have plans to go out that night. Oddly, she didn't bother telling that to Gail. "Don't go blaming her," Martin advises Gail, and he warns her of taking advantage of Carmel. Before Gail can defend herself, Carmel comes down the stairs to tell her that she's just tucked the children into their beds. Gail is anxious to kiss them goodnight, but Carmel informs her that they are all sound asleep. Gail apologizes for ruining her plans, but Carmel does her usual martyr bit -- she smiles cheerfully and insists that she's just as happy "stopping in," so she is.

Heather Morlan

Richard Willmore: OLIVER BEAMISH
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by EUGENE FERGUSON

Thursday (3469, Friday 27 November 1992)

Carmel has managed to insinuate herself into the Platt household, slowly taking over the mother role but pretending she's only helping to earn her keep. But she's also proving to be better at it than Gail. This morning she's persuaded Nicky to help with the washing up and Nicky wants her to help persuade his mother to let him watch a video tonight. Meanwhile, Gail is still stinging after the miscommunication last night, insisting she told Carmel she'd be working late then going for a drink. Carmel as we saw, said nothing to Martin but Martin thinks it was just misplaced messages. Gail leaves for work, asking Martin to tell Sally about David's sniffles and to pick her up early (Huh? She only works around the corner!) I've paused the vcr and the freeze frame shows Carmel as she's watching Gail leave. Carmel's lips are tightly clamped and there's a look of malevolence and contempt in her eyes, chin firmly set in her determination. When the vcr is set in motion again, Carmel talks Martin into staying for a last cup of tea. I'm wondering why they both aren't off to school since I thought they were both in the same course. Perhaps the class was split in two schedules.

Lisa pops out to the shop, already dressed and lipsticked for her visit to Terry later. Vera asks her to get soap as Terry's running out. Ooops nearly let the cat out of the bag there, Jack, just in from feeding the pigeons, covers, saying Terry was always using loads of soap and running out. He scolds Vera after Lisa leaves. He can't see how Lisa isn't going to find out that she sent the flowers, not Terry even though Vera has lots of explanations. She'll even admit it if she has to, planning to lie that Terry mentioned them. When was that then? When she went to see him and didn't tell Lisa? Jack gives up and goes back outside to feed the birds again. Lisa meets up with Des outside the shop and is all bubbly with excitement about her flowers and about seeing Terry today. Des wishes her luck.

Jack, now at work, consults Bet over the ale delivery. Bet is still worrying the accounts and wondering how to bring in more business and bounces an idea off Jack. Happy Hour. Could work. But Bet hasn't decided yet.

Curly's moping on the sofa, still dressed in shorts and a tshirt, skinny knees showing. (My God I have never seen legs on a human being so thin... He looks like Big Bird!!) Anyway, Angie brings in coffee and tries to cheer him up. In spite of how she really feels about Kimberly, she's very supportive as a best friend should be. She reckons Kimberly is a homemaker with the accompanying philosophy that you should pool your money and discuss the spending of. She won't say Curly's had a luck escape (even though he has. Can you picture that screaming whine in 10 years? Kimberly will surpass even Vera when she's on a pitch!). Kim phones to ask Curly to gather her bits and bobs that were left there as she's coming over tonight to get them. This leads Angie to speculate that Kim is using it as an excuse for them to talk it out and get back together. Curly doesn't really believe it but that's either a glimmer of hope in his eye or the reflection of the studio lights on his thick lenses.

In the pub at dinnertime, Kevin is bemused at Steve's overly cocky attitude about passing his driver's test on Monday. Steve even offers to bet him on it and Kevin nearly takes it on until he learns that even Vera passed her test on the first try. Doug wanders in, having not been in the garage all morning. He tells Kevin he's been to see a debt councilor who advised him the same thing as Mike did, declare bankruptcy and start over. Doug is considering it but Kevin, prat that he is, voices a thought on behalf on the people Doug owes money to. (what? Banks, businesses who can write it off as a tax credit... loan sharks even?) The scene shifts to another booth where Mavis is having her lunch. She expresses sympathy to Jack over Lisa visiting Terry, where Lisa really can't paint a rosy picture of the outside and what could Terry have to talk about? Nowt, usually, Jack admits, but he might find something today.

Oh aye, Lisa arrives in the visiting room and hands Terry the baby. After a bit of chat about the baby's progress, Lisa starts gushing about her present. Terry quite obviously hasn't a clue what she's on about. Flowers? Well they did have his name on them. Terry evades by saying they must be from him then, and turns back to cuddling his son again. Lisa isn't stupid though, and her face falls but she lets it be. Terry makes an effort, however, and makes it clear that he misses her and tells her he loves her and hopes she misses him! Of course she does! He worries, you see, that someone might take advantage of her on her own but she professes her dedication to him and he declares he does trust her, but it's not easy seeing other blokes lose their wives while they' re inside. He gives her a really romantic kiss to top it off, telling her that she and the baby belong to him when she's ready to leave. His face looks determined, as if he's not going to give up what's his without a fight.

Tracy is having a trial run at the flower shop after school and is getting the hang of it quite nicely. She spies with interest Ken kissing Maggy goodbye and promising to return later. At home after, Tracy gives her mother flowers and her mother tries to pry the gossip out of her daughter, who admits there seems to be something there between Ken and Maggy!

Lisa doesn't say much to Vera about her visit but does confront Vera about the flowers. Vera admits to sending them but keeps quiet about her own earlier visit to Terry. Lisa doesn't see that Vera's heart was in the right place, as she's too disappointed. Vera defends herself, she's Terry's mother after all. Lisa points out that she's Terry's wife and *she* can't make excuses for him! It'll be many years before Vera takes her Terry-blinders off!

Curly nervously plumps cushions. Kimberly arrives and Angie makes herself scarce. Kim never even unbuttons her coat but agrees to sit down while Curly gathers her stuff, CD's, an umbrella and a bit of wool for the rug. Kimberly admits that she's unpicked the rug and declares it was all a mistake. Curly still thinks she's talking about the rug but it's soon clear she means the engagement. She's known she wasn't the right one for him for ages but didn't know how to get out of it (awwwww, poor Curly!) but she does thank him, he's given her the ability to find her confidence, to grow up and she's always be grateful. She leaves and he sighs heavily.

Back at Platt Plaza, Gail and Martin arrive home. Nicky nags Carmel to ask Gail (about the video) and Gail makes plans to give Sarah Lou her bath. But Carmel ignores Nicky's whines until Gail turns her attention to him and then turns down his request to watch a video. He is sent to clean his room instead and to add to Gail's upset, Sarah Lou prefers Carmel to give her her bath on the earlier promise of bubbles. Gail complains that she's beginning to feel like a guest in her own home, starting to sense displacement but not really twigging it yet. Martin, clueless as ever, doesn't think Carmel means anything by it.

Angie and Mike do a bit of business, she's designed a tshirt for him for an auto business. Bet warns Jack to keep quiet about what they talked about earlier. Jack has to think what that was and pipes up 'Oh, Happy Hour?' loudly!

Over against the wall, Derek is waxing on about knowing your enemy and dossiers. Mavis is nearly flushed with excitement as she compliments Derek on his demeanor of the night before, when he was writing his memo, how menacing he was, eyes focussed on his imagination. (Derek begins to relive the moment, eyes narrowing) ... As he opened his notebook and unclipped his biro from his pyjama pocket ...(Derek mirrors the motions) slowly and deliberately... Derek vows that's how he's going to trap Harry Potts, slowly and deliberately! Mavis nearly shudders in delight! (Well after all, look at the effect James Bond has on women!)

Over at the bar Vera has told Jack about the events of the day to a very firm I Told You So but Vera thinks Terry will see Lisa right. Indeed. Outside the bookies', Des gets ready to leave for the day when he's approached by two large threatening men. One of them is credited only by the name 'Thug' LOL, and indeed, one grabs Des from behind while the other punches him in the gut and throws Des face down in the street, leaving him with the warning, Stay clear of Lisa Duckworth! Des rolls over, bleeding from cobble-scratches on his face, and groans.

Diane Johnston

Thug: STEVE MONEY Last appearance (I think ) by SUZANNE HALL as Kimberly Taylor
Written by TOM ELLIOTT Directed by EUGENE FERGUSON

Friday (3470, Monday 30 November 1992)

Phyllis arrives at Des' house this morning, her usual chirpy self until she lays eyes on the young man. The damage from his beating the night before is frightening - one eye swollen shut and bruising over much of his face! She gasps, but he tells her not to worry, he only "fell in the bathtub". Phyllis doesn't believe him, of course, but she doesn't press the issue, ordering him to sit down so she can mother him a little. As she goes to put the kettle on, he resigns himself to a bit of pampering, having decided to take the day off anyway.

As the Platts start their morning, Gail second-guesses her reaction to the business of the night before, when she laid down the law to Carmel about Nicky not being allowed to stay up and watch a video. Martin tells her she did right but his attitude is less than supportive. When she explains that she was only trying to get back some control in her own household, he remarks that she won't have to worry about Carmel much longer. She'll soon be getting a place of her own - then they'll wonder how they are to get on without her!

Today is the day Steve is to take his road test for his driver's license. Kev sends him off with "good luck" wishes, though Steve is confident he won't need "luck". His father also has confidence in him. At the Rovers, he brags to Don and Alf about the big day, saying he regrets that he'll be working at 6:00 o'clock and unable to buy his son a celebratory drink. "That's if he passes", says Jack from behind the bar. Encouragement enough for R Jim, he lays odds that Steve will pass and Jack reluctantly takes the bet. Don mentions that today's his birthday (he gets the round in honour of the occasion) but again, Jim can't accept his invitation for drinks this evening as he'll be at work.

After careful consideration, Des decides to go across and pay Lisa a visit. She too is shocked at the sight of him and stands gawping until he asks to be let in so he can talk to her. Once inside, he tells her exactly what happened, emphasizing that he wanted her to know what kind of man she is married to. Lisa is incredulous at first, but when Des tells her what the thug said to him, mentioning her by name, she can't help but face up to the fact that Terry was responsible! Even so, she needs time to digest the shock, wondering *how* Terry could have got the idea that Des was a threat.

But, as Des points out, the fact that there's nothing between them didn't stop Vera from thinking there was, just as it wouldn't necessarily prevent her from portraying that notion to her Terry! "Think about it, Lisa... She dotes on little Tom... If she thought you and I were close, that you might not wait for Terry..." Lisa begins to see by now that Vera does indeed have the most to lose from such a scenario. Though she again argues briefly that nothing *is* going on, the truth sinks in as Des reminds her that Vera has already charged that he has been "sniffing around" her...

At the conclusion of Steve's road test, he is disappointed to hear the examiner pronounce that he needs more experience before he can be certified. (He has trouble controlling his speed when approaching intersections, evidently.) Well, so much for doing things by the book - Steve thinks he *is* qualified to drive so once the examiner is out of sight, he takes the car back to the garage where he lies to Kevin that he passed, telling him the paperwork is "in the post"! (Don't ask me why he'd be allowed to drive down for the exam on his own but not back - I've been puzzling about that one too.)

Vera arrives home for dinner (lunch) to find Lisa packing up to take Tom out. Having stewed about what happened to Des, Lisa angrily tells her mother-in-law that if she stays in this house any longer, she "will explode"! Vera doesn't have a clue what's upset her so Lisa fills her in. Vera's immediate reaction is to defend "R Turry", which doesn't wash with Lisa. She further suggests angrily that Terry could only have got the idea that Des and she were getting close from Vera herself. Defensive, Vera denies saying anything and asserts that Terry shouldn't be blamed for this - the only reason he's in jail is "a miscarriage of justice"! But Lisa knows better - "The reason he's in jail is because he engaged his fists before starting his brain!" His mother pleads, "No, Luv - you don't know him like I do!" Lisa snaps back that she never will - she can at least be thankful for that much!

Carmel's up to her tricks again. She arrives at the nursery school to pick up Sarah Lou and when Sally shows up for the same purpose, she feeds her a line... "Oh didn't Gail tell ya? Sure, t'was all arranged!"

When Sally arrives at the Platts' some few minutes later with young David, she finds Carmel occupying Sarah with a jigsaw. (Comments Sarah Lou to Carmel: "Mummy never does puzzles with me". Replies Carmel with a sweet smile: "Ah well, Mummy doesn't have the time - but *I* do!") As Sally brings David in, Carmel manages to plant the seed that all is not right between Martin and Gail. She informs Sally with fake trepidation that "Gail's been working long hours and Martin's under such pressure from his courses", that it "might be better" if Sally doesn't mention "the mix-up" about picking up Sarah Lou! Sally expresses surprise about her friends' marriage "going through a rough patch" (Carmel's description) and unwittingly agrees to say nothing.

Vera's come home early. As she tells Lisa, she's had a terrible headache since their confrontation earlier. Lisa only asks if she still maintains that she had nothing to do with Des being set upon. Tentatively, Vera admits she might have mentioned Des' name "in passing", but only so that Terry would wake up and realize he should pay more attention to Lisa. "In passing? You might have signed his death warrant!" Lisa counters. Pausing for a second, she realizes that Vera must have paid Terry a clandestine visit, specifically to tell him about Des, "in passing"! Vera defends herself, she was only thinking about their marriage, and little Tom. But Lisa is furious: "And he never said a word! By heck you lot stick together!" "But you wouldn't have found out if this hadn't happened!" Vera pleads. "No, and you and Terry would have gone on manipulating me for years!" retorts Lisa angrily.

Later on, when feelings are a bit calmer, they talk again. Vera tries to save Terry by shouldering the blame for what happened to Des. She reckons she gave him the wrong impression because "R Turry's not like that". Lisa's anger rises again, "Your Terry's *exactly* like that!" Again Vera pleads for her son - it's only what being in prison's done to him. Incredulous, Lisa shoots down the claim - Terry's always been like that - it's the reason he's behind bars in the first place! Vera makes an appeal that Lisa and Tommy are the best things that have ever happened to Terry - to any of them, for that matter! But Lisa won't be moved, she's made her decision to go back home to her parents.

In the Rovers, Steve is continuing to bask in the glory of having attained his driver's license - the one he never got. He and Kevin have come in for a drink and he proudly accepts congratulatory praise from Bet and Alf, offering to buy them drinks as well. Across the bar, Jack starts pulling the pints but excuses his inability to pay the 15 quid he owes on the bet until payday. Magnanimously, Steve offers to forgive the debt, *if* Jack will get this round!

Fatigued and with an air of deflated morale, Vera and Lisa go on talking... Lisa admits that she feels a share of the blame for what happened is hers - her reluctance to see Terry as he really is in the past, her over-willingness to turn a blind eye to the way he is. If she hadn't deceived herself into thinking that marriage and fatherhood would change him, none of this need have happened. "No, you're wrong - he'll change!" begs Vera tearfully. But Lisa is firm in her resolve - Terry will never change and she will *not* submit to being in this same situation in ten or twenty years - "just another prison wife". Nor will she subject Tom to it, she says adamantly. Defeated, Vera bemoans poor Terry's future - what will he do without her and Tommy? "Terry can do what he likes", answers Lisa flatly, "He's not my concern anymore!"

Anita Belanger

Driving Examiner JOHN PICKLES
Written by BARRY HILL Directed by JUNE HOWSON


Originally transmitted: 2, 4, 7, 9 & 11 December 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 31 January - Friday 4 February 2000
Episode Numbers: 3471 - 3475

Monday (3471, Wednesday 2 December 1992)

What a cracking episode today! Absolutely top shelf, with riveting acting by Elizabeth Dawn and Bill Tarmey!

We begin at the breakfast table. Lisa is leaving tonight and Vera and Jack are heartsick, although Jack merely keeps his nose in his newspaper, accepting the inevitable. Vera doesn't of course and begs Lisa to stay. She refuses to believe that Des getting beat up was any of Terry's doing when Lisa doesn't even have proof. Lisa firmly insists that Terry was responsible for the rollicking of an innocent man and accuses Vera of having a blind spot for Terry. Oh my, shades of... well I suppose it can't be déjà vu since I'm reflecting on Vera's actions many years in the future but she wails 'Give him a chance, Lisa, for my sake!' No more chances, Lisa firmly pledges so Vera entreats Jack to say a word on Terry's behalf. He looks up and then over at Lisa and states he's sorry she married Terry, for her sake. Vera snatches the newspaper from him, balls it up and chucks it at him along with a few harsh words. Jack gives as good as he gets, leaning right over in Vera's face and removing his glasses for emphasis as he growls, 'Blame me! Blame Lisa! Blame yerself but one day you'll put the blame where it fits, on yer own flaming son!' (You've got a long wait, my son!)

Whew! After that, we shift over to the café where Carmel is reading out loud to Gail and Martin from a letter from her Michael. The gist of it alarms the Platts when they hear that Michael wants Carmel to give up her course and come home so they can get married. Not much of a proposal but it is one none the less. Gail is concerned that Michael wants Carmel to give up her career to go to Ireland and be stuck on a farm somewhere raising babies. Carmel defends him, she does love him and he's quite persuasive. She decides to go home to Ireland and talk to him and see if she can't get him to be patient a bit longer though it seems to Gail that she's half a mind to consider the idea.

Back to the Duckworth's, Vera is upstairs. Jack gives up trying to read his ruined paper and decides to have his say. He admits Vera's got a blind spot about Terry but asks Lisa not to hold what Terry did, and he' s not defending Terry, mind, but not to hold it against them personally. He reminds her that there is always a home there for her and Tom. Lisa recalls when she first came and Jack thought she'd be better off raising Tommy in Blackpool by the sea. Aye, he still does but he's being selfish now. His voice softens with affection and tells her she's given them a lift and he likes her company. His voice thickens with emotion when that he loves his grandson and will miss her. He *is* sorry she married Terry but for her own sake because he and Vera couldn't ask for a better daughter in law. He says no more as Vera comes back in, having been crying upstairs. He reminds her she'll be late for work but she hiccups that she isn't going in. Lisa thinks she's being silly and ought to go. I'm not being silly, Vera sniffs into her hankie, it's me morning off. But the tears start to flow again.

Back in the café, Carmel arrives, having made arrangements to travel to Ireland on the weekend. Gail decides to stick her nose in and takes the girl to one side. She's concerned that Carmel is going to get herself >tied down and regret giving up her career. She tells Carmel a bit about Brian and his Neanderthal attitude, jealous of her working and resentful of it. She wishes she'd read the signs better and encourages Carmel that she can have a career and a good marriage someday. She thinks a man who insists she give up her career so soon isn't a good bet even if they do say they love each other. Carmel admires Gail and Martin's marriage and hopes she and Martin have a marriage like that. Gail corrects her with a laugh, a slip of the tongue, naturally, like you sometimes do. (or like Carmel wouldn't mind doing... Ooops, sorry)

In the pub, Bet seems to have decided to have the Happy hour on weekdays and she shows her sign to Liz. Liz isn't impressed, the mother in her coming out when she voices concerns that the young kids will take advantage and come in boozing and getting sick. Bet is more concerned with bringing in more business. Jack comes in late, moaning and it's obvious he's not having a good day. (Well, we already know why!)

Lisa asks Vera to mind the baby so she can go across the road and say good bye to Des. Vera disapproves even though Lisa tries to get her to realize Des is just a friend. When Vera asks her if she's going to say good bye to Terry, Lisa hangs her head and whispers no.

In the corner shop, Carmel uses an encounter with Sally as an opportunity to plant a few suggestions about the dubious state of the Platt marriage.

Just before breaking for dinner, Doug, Kevin and Steve have a laugh in the garage until Idi Amin Baldwin comes marching and barking like the Fun Police. Nothing out of the ordinary. He asks Steve if he's passed his driver's test and Kevin and Doug both answer for him so again, Steve lets the opportunity pass to tell the truth. Mike gives Steve the keys to the Jag and sends him to Bernley to pick up an order of tshirts.

Lisa sits with Des who's face looks even worse if that's possible. He's upset she's going and he sits smoking a cigarette, edgy and angry. They chat about her decision to leave but he gets agitated when he realizes that Vera knows Lisa's over there alone with him, fearing more reprisals if Terry thinks Lisa's left him for Des. He becomes quite unflattering about Jack and Vera and Lisa defends them. But his suggestion that Vera might run off and take Tommy out of desperation rings in her ears when they spot Vera start off down the street with Tommy in the pram.

She runs out and calls in a panic to Vera, why did she leave with Tommy without telling her? Vera seems to clue in right away but they both cover when Phyllis comes along for an admiring chuck at the baby's chin and a few words about poor Desmond. When she leaves, Vera is obviously hurt at Lisa believing she'd take Tommy. She turns away from Lisa, cut to the quick and walks back home to get ready for work, shoulders set defensively.

Back at home, Martin cooks and Carmel chats to him about the conversation she had with Gail about Brian. She wonders if Brian's 'ghost' weighed heavily on Martin when he first got together with Gail. Martin says he was aware but it didn't really matter that much (only with Ivy!)

Before Vera leaves for work, Lisa tries to apologize for panicking. Vera 's bitter and thinks Lisa probably should leave if that's what she thinks of her, accusing Lisa of looking down her nose at the Duckworth' s. Lisa stands her ground and describes Terry as a violent man and he might turn that to her or Tommy! But she does admit Terry probably wouldn't hurt the baby but she doesn't want her son growing up around that sort of man or seeing it. She still has some feelings for Terry but she can't trust him anymore and has to do this for the baby. Vera pleads but it's no use and Lisa says something she regrets when she wails that from now on she considers Terry dead. She apologizes immediately but Vera recoils as if slapped. Lisa promises to keep in touch as a knock on the door is heard. It's her mother come to collect her.

Over in the pub, Jack quietly asks Bet for a half hour to go sort something. Seeing his sincerity in his eyes, she allows it. Over in the corner, Audrey and Deirdre are having a chat about the new salon and Audrey is fairly shivering with excitement at a rumour about male masseurs! Doug comes in, bouncing off the wall and bragging, so it seems, about declaring bankruptcy but declares it's not such a bad think. It's a great weight off his mind and he hasn't felt this good in years!

Jack slips down the road as Doreen and Lisa are loading the car. He goes inside and Lisa tells her mother she'll probably have to write Terry a letter as she doesn't think she can face him. Vera brings Tommy out and Jack brings out the collapsed cot for her to take but there isn't room. Lisa kindly suggests it stay there so Tommy will have a bed when he comes to visit. Aye. Jack kisses her on the cheek as Vera hands over the baby reluctantly. Lisa gets in the car and they're away. Vera tries to be strong and tells Jack they can survive it but she cries in his arms and he blinks back his tears.

Diane Johnston

Doreen Horton: ANNIE RAITT
Written by STEPHEN MALLATRATT Directed by JUNE HOWSON

Tuesday (3472, Friday 4 December 1992)

...in which a neighbour's suspicious are raised and one very large cat is let out of its bag!

It's a gloomy morning indeed at the Duckworths', where the hapless couple are mourning the loss of their Tommeh. Vera, in particular, is shattered, and wonders why everything always seems to go wrong for their family. Jack's sympathy is heavily tempered by the fact that he blames Vera for the situation. If she hadn't poked her nose in, suggesting to Terry that Des was pursuing Lisa, Terry wouldn't have had Des beaten up - "and now y'grandson's gone," he finishes. He is a defeated man and not interested in listening to Vera's protests that she isn't at fault. "It always goes flamin' wrong," he says bitterly, adding "never mind... we weren't meant to be 'appy."

At Deirdre's house, she and Tracy scrap over how Tracy will get home from her evening shift at Maggie's flower shop. Ken can't drive her today, Deirdre has just found out, and in response to Tracy's claims she'll take the bus she responds that she knows Tracy pockets the bus fare and walks, taking a short cut across the Red Rec. It's not safe and she will pick Tracy up. Tracy guesses that Deirdre just wants to get a look at Maggie but Deirdre pooh-poohs this.

The Platt household is in its usual morning disarray. Carmel laces up a shoe for Martin, teasing him that he doesn't know the proper way to go about it. This leads to a conversation about old fashioned ways of doing things, then old-fashioned people, which leads to Michael. Carmel tells Martin she's definitely made her mind up to break up with Michael when she goes to Ireland this weekend. "Do you know this big baby can't lace up a pair of shoes for himself?" Carmel jokes to Gail, causing Gail to glare disapprovingly at the pair of them.

Deirdre is now at work in the shop and chatting with Ken. She informs him she'll pick Tracy up after her shift, and also informs him that she knows Ken gives Tracy the bus fare but she saves it and walks - Deirdre used to do the same thing and is wise to it! She tells Ken that Tracy thinks she is just picking her up to get a look at his new lady friend. "Which, of course, you're not," says Ken with a teasing hint of disbelief. "Of course not," says Dreary.

Over at the Cafe Alma is opening an industrial-sized tin of baked beans as she complains about Mike and his incessant mobile-phone chatting. Gail offers to trade her one mobile phone for one lodger. Carmel is wonderful, she assured Alma - BUT Carmel is going home for the weekend and won't it be lovely to have her family and home to herself!

A dark-haired, attractive woman appears in the shop and introduces herself to Deirdre and Alf as Denise Osbourne. She's the hairdresser who's setting up in the new shop across the street and would like to leave some introductory flyers offering a free hot oil treatment in the shop. Alf is most welcoming. "Have you ever considered WARTS?" he asks. "I beg your pardon?" asks Denise. Alf explains the acronym for the Weatherfield Association of Retailers and Traders. She agrees to think about that, and Alf agrees to make the flyers available. When Denise leaves, Deirdre teases an indignant Alf about fancying the attractive new addition to the Street.

Carmel drops by Sally's to "say goodbye to David" before going home for the weekend. Although a bit surprised to see her, Sally asks her in for a cup of coffee. Carmel begins chattering on and on about her love-life and her impending breakup with her boyfriend, Michael. Sal is politely sympathetic avoids Carmels's efforts to draw Sally into talking about her own romantic past. "I was never halfway serious about anyone before Martin," says Carmel. "Michael, you mean," Sal corrects. "Oh, Michael, yes!" Carmel laughs. She tells Sally about her strange little habit of taking things from his pockets to have them close to her - a packet of mints, for example. He was looking for his mints, she confesses with a laugh, and there she was eating them in front of him! "Sounds like a real hopeless crush," smiles Sal. "Oh no," says Carmel earnestly, "it's more than that." "Was," corrects Sal. "Was?" "Well, you're finishing with him, aren't you? Michael?" asks Sally. "Oh, yes," Carmel catches herself and laughs again. Kevin arrives just then and Carmel excuses herself (at least she remembers to say goodbye to David, her ostensible reason for dropping in). "I'll tell ya, Kev," says Sally when Carmel's gone, "she's got a crush on Martin, that's for sure." Kevin says Sally is daft, but Sally is certain - just as certain as she it that Gail doesn't know about it.

It may be Happy Hour in the Rovers, but Bet (resplendent in a gold lamÈ top and skin-tight leopard print pants!) has to draw this fact to the attention of Curly and Des, who couldn't look much gloomier. She informs them they look like last week's rice pudding. Des is depressed that he got ribs broken "for passing the time of day". As for Curly, "I looked at the stars. That was my crime, Bet - looking at the stars." Bet leans over the lads. "You may have sorrows, but if you can drown 'em at 'alf price, then my living has not been in vain. 'Appy 'Our. Remember? Five! 'Til half past six!" "That's hour and a half," remarks Curly. "That's just one of the 'appy things about it," intones Bet before leaving them alone. Curly asks Des if that's really all he did - pass the time of day with Lisa. Des firmly says it was. Curly says she was "quite fanciable" - surely Des noticed. He noticed she was too good for Terry, replies Des, that's what he noticed. They wonder why the good women like mean blokes and nice blokes like themselves end up with "dodgy women". (Answers on a postcard, please, to ronniecat at hotmail dot com.)

In a corner Mike and Angie talk business and discuss a plan to get local rock bands to let them produce t-shirts for them. Denise Osbourne comes into the Rovers flogging her hot-oil-treatment flyers and Bet welcomes the new local businesswoman, although when it comes to her clientele "if it was boilin' in oil you'd be talkin'," she suggests. Bet introduces Denise to many of the regulars about, who include Rita, Mavis, Alf and Audrey. Rita notes that Audrey used to be a hairdresser but Audrey protests "that were ages ago and I haven't kept up" with the new styles and techniques. (This must explain why in later years nobody ever looks different after visiting Audrey's salon.)

Tracy mops the floor in the now-closed flower shop as Deirdre knocks at the door. She tries to beat a hasty retreat but of course Deirdre mortifies her by stepping up to the counter and thanking Maggie for hiring Tracy. Maggie comes out of the back room to smilingly greet Deirdre and say Tracy is doing fine and seems to be taking a real interest. Deirdre's face freezes and she stutters "oh... I'm - glad..." Could it be she recognizes Maggie from another place or time, asks your update writer disingenuously? If so, the reverse is not true; a slightly disconcerted Maggie just asks "Is that surprising?" "Oh - No, I'm glad," Deirdre recovers quickly. "She's a real nice girl and seems keen," continues Maggie warmly. Deirdre and Tracy depart.

Kev and Sal are curled up together on the sofa watching TV. Sally is still thinking about her encounter with Carmel and offers the opinion that Martin's really quite good-looking. Carmel's young, she also notes, and you get crushes at that age. Kevin, ever the pragmatist, wants to know what Sally is going to do about it even if she is right? Nothing, Sally admits. She then asks hesitantly if Kevin supposes - well - that Martin - you know - "You mean Martin and her?" asks Kevin. "You think he fancies her?" He accuses Sally of building the whole thing up because she's stuck in the house all day long with nothing else to do. Stung, Sally replies that Kevin is a typical man - he never notices anything about anyone! Well, she does, and it's _not_ because she's stuck in the house all day! "Well," says Kevin wisely, "whatever you notice or don't notice, keep it to yourself and don't go takin' it over the road!"

Meanwhile over the road, Gail and Martin sit in the living room where Martin is preparing to read a story to Sarah Lou. Gail, for some perverse reason, suggests that Sarah would rather have Carmel read her that story, wouldn't she? But the child says no, she's happy with Martin. Carmel makes the stories up out of her head, says Sarah (God, did the Practically Perfect Lodger eventually move to America to become Martha Stewart?) but when Martin says he can't do that, she says she'd rather have a "proper story" out of a book anyway. Gail remarks that it's nice having the place to themselves, and Martin remarks that when they get Sarah Lou to bed it'll be even nicer. "Is that a promise?" inquires Gail fondly, to Martin's positive reply.

Back in the bosom of Deirdres' home, Tracy eats her supper while inexplicably saying she bets Dreary "hates" Maggie. Deirdre assures her that's not true. What _does_ she think? presses Tracy. Does she have to think anything? wonders Deirdre, but she does ask Tracy if Ken and Maggie are serious. "I don't know. Maybe. Are you jealous?" replies Tracy. "No, I'm not jealous," assures Deirdre. "Well, why are you so interested, then?" "Never mind," says an exasperated Deirdre, "it's no use talking to you." Tracy explodes petulantly. "You don't care who he's going with, you won't have him back, and you don't want to know - only when he's going with someone, you're dead jealous. I suppose you'll try to split them up and everything now, won't ya?" Deirdre reiterates that she only wanted to know if it was serious. Tracy's on a rant now. "I hope they are so you can be more jealous. All you think about is yourself." "I'm not thinking of me," blurts a frustrated Deirdre. "I'm thinking of him!" "Well, I don't know how you can make that out," replies Tracy. "No, well, you don't know she had an affair eleven years ago with Mike Baldwin, do you?" snaps Deirdre.

This shocking bit of news silences Tracy only temporarily. "So? It was eleven years ago. She's been married to someone else since then. So what?" This time, Deirdre's revelation is more deliberate. "So how old is her son?" she asks quietly. We can see the wheels turn in Tracy's head and Deirdre is immediately regretful. "I wish I'd never told you now. But listen - if one word of this passes your lips, I could slaughter you! Do you understand?" "Yes!" "I'm damned sure he doesn't know," Deirdre continues. "It's not me I'm thinking of, Tracy. Now let's get this table cleared." But Tracy has thought of something. "How do _you_ know?" she asks. "I said, let's get these dishes cleared!" says Deirdre in a voice which brooks no argument and no further discussion.

ronniecat

First appearance of Denise Osbourne: DENISE BLACK
Written by JULIAN ROCHE Directed by JUNE HOWSON

Wednesday (3473, Monday 7 December 1992)

At the Corner Shop, Alf is struggling with a large sign advertising a sale on Christmas puddings when Percy arrives and voices his disapproval. Alf explains that the sign is merely his way of putting people into the Christmas spirit, but Percy is fed-up with all the crass commercialisation of the season -- it's not what Christmas is all about, in his opinion. The discussion of Christmas reminds him that Bettabuys is probably looking for someone to fill their Father Christmas position, and he decides to pay the store a visit to find out if they might think of employing him again.

Martin is exuberant when he delivers David to Sally's, prompting her to ask about his cheerfulness. Martin puts it down to having a weekend to themselves. Sally asks when Carmel is due back, and Martin seems less than pleased when he admits she's expected around tea time. Ah well, she'll soon be moving on, he muses, and then he and Gail will have all the time in the world.

Angie pops into the Corner Shop to buy several packets of glucose candies, in the hope that they'll give her some energy. Alf cautions her on their use, and she admits she's had a few too many late nights, giving Alf an opportunity to lecture her on time management. An article he saw recommended that disorganized people make lists, arrange schedules, etc., but luckily Angie is saved from his diatribe by Curly, who bellows at her to hurry up or he'll be late for work. Outside the shop, and while Curly prattles on about already being ten minutes behind schedule, Angie sees Neil unloading his van and they hastily agree to meet for drinks later.

Meanwhile, Denise glowers at Neil before going back inside the beauty parlour. As he enters with some of his equipment, she sarcastically asks if he had a break-down, and he defensively responds that he needed to stop for some screws. She expects him to be on time from now on. He wonders if she's had much interest shown in her new salon, and she answers that it appears that she'll be able to attract loads of new clients. As he moves around in the cluttered shop, he nearly knocks a mirror off the wall, prompting Denise to remark that the last thing she needs is more bad luck.

Sally drops into the Cafe with the kiddies, and Gail's cheerful disposition makes her wonder what they put in the water -- Martin was on top of the world that morning too. Alma puts it all down to "a weekend of passion," with Carmel being away. Sally asks if Carmel's lodging at their place will be a permanent thing, but Gail only rolls her eyes and is rather emphatic when she responds that she doesn't think so.

Over lunch at the Rover's Return, Reg is at his wits end over Christmas and what Bettabuys can do to get their sales up. He's looking for new and interesting ideas, besides the usual stuff, so Curly suggests "Mother Christmas." "It's very big on the continent," he informs Reg. Reg nearly spews his mouthful of beer at the notion, but swiftly changes to his lecherous mode, suggesting that Curly had something sexy in mind -- a Mother Christmas in a mini-skirt, high boots, etc. "No, no," says Curly, he's proposing a real Mother Christmas or "Epiphan" as she's known in Germany -- something to go along with the spirit of l992 and the open market.

At the bar, Mike pays Steve high compliment by telling Jim that his son has been a "real trooper," in terms of getting their t-shirt orders out on time. Alf asks Denise how things are going with her salon, and Denise reckons it will be open soon. Alf thinks she should go up-market and offer services not readily available in their little backstreet, but Denise only wants people to know where to go if they want a decent hair cut. Eyeing her admiringly, Alf suggests that the salon should be opened as "Denise's," because the name has a bit of class. Denise thanks him as she leaves, and Jack immediately takes the opportunity to tease Alf about his interest in the street's newest residence. Alf angrily accuses him of having a smutty mind.

Percy comes into the bar, and makes a beeline for Reg. He generously allows that he can let bygones be bygones, and in the spirit of the season, he's willing to be Bettabuys Father Christmas again -- in fact, he can start this afternoon. Caught off guard, Reg sputters and mumbles, but remembering Curly's suggestion, he tells Percy that they're having a Mother Christmas this year. Percy scoffs and tells him there's no such thing, so Reg parrots back all the things Curly said to him earlier. After Curly whispers it into his ear, Reg suggests that Percy apply to "Crazy Cuts" -- he just heard that they're looking for a Santa. Percy thanks him for the information and leaves immediately to apply. After his departure, Curly assumes that Reg likes his plan to have a Mother Christmas, and Reg has no choice but to go along with it.

Martin arrives home to find the kids opening their gifts from Carmel. Sarah Louise has been given a nurses' watch (even though she can't tell time), and Carmel explains to her how it's used, while Nicky admires the new footie shorts he received. She tells the kids about her wonderful trip to Ireland in a big ship. When Gail asks how the weekend went, Carmel puts off giving her the details.

Maggie and Tracy are doing the last-minute chores prior to closing the flower shop when Ken arrives to pick up Tracy. He asks how Tracy is getting along in the job, and Maggie has nothing but compliments. He also asks Mark when he's planning to find part-time work, and Mark sarcastically answers when he has less homework.

Sally and Kevin are having their tea when Sally tells him that from what she could tell, Gail and Martin spent most of their weekend in bed, so contrary to what Carmel would have her believe, things are going very well for them. In fact, she's decided that the next time Carmel starts implying that there's a problem between Gail and Martin, she's going to tackle her on it.

Back at the Platt's, and with the kids out of the way, Gail asks Carmel again about her weekend. Carmel confesses that she and Michael spent a lot of time talking, and it soon became clear that they weren't seeing eye to eye. She told him that if he couldn't wait two years for her to finish her courses, it wasn't worth it. He said he couldn't wait, so she broke it off. Choking back tears, Carmel tells of how she finished the relationship in a shelter in the park where they used to play together as children. "He was so hurt," she sobs, but she thanks Martin for his advice and believes she wouldn't have had the courage to do what she did without him. Gail sympathetically observes that her career is more important than romance at this stage of her life. "There's plenty more lads," she suggests, to which Carmel tearfully agrees.

At the Rover's Return, Deirdre asks Ken how the romance is going, and Ken feels things are "fine." Deirdre wonders how well he gets along with Maggie's son, and asks if Mark's father died -- or were he and Maggie divorced? She's told that Mark's dad died around this time last year and Deirdre observes that the boy must miss him. "He's well-adjusted," observes Ken, adding that his father must have been a good influence on him, which is a rare commodity these days.

Elsewhere in the bar, Angie is congratulated by Mike for getting the t-shirt order out on time, but he ruins the moment by advising her to change her drinking preferences from pints to something "more sophisticated." "PIG!" says Angie the moment he's out of ear-shot, and then admits to Liz that what she needs more than anything is sleep.

Percy wears an ear-to-ear smile, prompting Jack to admit that while it is happy hour, he doesn't feel that it warrants that much cheerfulness. Percy, however, is very pleased with the way things went that day, but won't tell Jack why. He reckons Reg ought to be told first.

At Denise's shop, she impatiently asks Neil how much longer the renovations are going to take -- she wants to open on time to take advantage of Christmas. He snaps that if she thinks he isn't doing things fast enough, she could always hire herself another builder. As it is, he's doing the work at cost. Denise snatches a roll of pound notes and waves them at Neil. "Do you want me to finish, then?" he asks. "Do what you want," is her reponse, since that's what he always does.

Over the road, Tracy asks Deirdre if Ken knows what's going on (with Mark's parentage), and Deirdre admits that he doesn't. Tracy is really upset over the issue and feels sorry for her dad -- he'll be so hurt when he finds out. "We shouldn't keep it from him," she moans, but Deirdre warns her that if they tell him, they'll open a huge can of worms, so "we keep this to ourselves, right?"

Neil and Angie enjoy a quick drink, but they're both tired, and he tells her that he nearly broke a mirror that day. Angie can't believe that he goes in for all that superstitious stuff, and Neil admits that he doesn't take it too seriously, although he is serious about her. Angie thinks he's moving too quickly, so advises him she doesn't go for those sorts of games.

While Percy orders a pint, Phyllis rushes in and wonders if he'd mind standing her a drink. She overspent on her shoppping, and is skint. Percy jokingly asks what she bought him for Christmas, and she promises a weekend away at Rhill -- with her! Percy insists on buying Reg a drink to thank him for the tip on "Crazy Cuts" and their search for Santa. When Phyllis learns that Percy is going to be Father Christmas again, she wonders if he could find a place for her in his grotto.

Curly meanwhile is moaning to Des that he can't find anyone to be Mother Christmas. Not a single female employee was interested, and even Vera wouldn't accept the position, although he thought she'd jump at the chance to sit down all day. Now he's sorry he came up with the idea. Des thinks he can help, and staring at Phyllis, suggests that he knows the perfect candidate for the job.

Martin and Gail snog on the settee and are obviously disappointed when Carmel comes in. She was to have spent the evening with friends, but as it turns out, she just wasn't up to it after her devastating weekend. She even observes that she didn't feel at home in Ireland anymore and that the Platt's home feels far friendlier. Gail and Martin look at each other in exasperation.

Angie serves Neil a coffee back at her place. She informs him that she doesn't gladly suffer fools, but since she invited him back to her place, he wonders if that means she thinks he's not a fool. "The jury's still out on that," she answers. Then she tells him that the verdict is "not guilty" (of being a fool) and kisses him passionately.

Heather Morlan

Written by MARTIN ALLEN Directed by CHARLES LAUDER

Thursday (3474, Wednesday 9 December 1992)

Angie's in the pink, Curly's turning green and Guess who's the milkman?

Carmel's manipulations take another twist, starting out this morning as Gail points out an ad for a flat-share. But now, it seems, Carmel wants a place on her own after all. Why Gail didn't immediately suggest Alma's flat again i don't know but she didn't. Carmel keeps her attention on the kids and glances at the paper briefly but puts off investigating. She reveals that Nicky has a big football game after school which of course Gail knew nothing about, making her feel left out again though Nicky insisted he told his mother. Later, Sally is on her doorstep when the milkman comes by... It's the Ripper! And when Carmel and Martin are on their way to the car, Carmel spies Sally out of the corner of her eye and makes a production out of wiping a mark off Martin's face. Sally scowls.

Neil arrives on Curly's doorstep to see Angie. Neil's a bit nervous and uncertain and Curly seems disgruntled and jealous. Angie is pleased to see Neil but is her usual lippy self, causing poor Neil to suffer the agonies of one who doesn't know where he stands. It was more than sex to him, he wants to know how she feels, if it was a one off or if there's more there. She is practically sparking with delight over "last night" and assures him it wasn't just sex. She invites him around for Spaghetti tonight and sends him off to work with a kiss and a cuddle though Curly rudely interrupts on behalf of the cooling toast. Back in the living room, Angie decides it's tit for tat and since she made herself scarce when he and Kimberly wanted some privacy.... When? Curly asks glumly. Tonight? Curly predicts this will only be the thin end of the wedge and there is a knock on the front door. It's Reg needing a drive to work and he has another nag at Curly over hiring this Mother Christmas/Epifanny (well that's how they pronounce it!) Angie takes great amusement from the idea and sarcastically remarks that she supposed it hadn't crossed Reg's mind about paying a female Santa half the going rate of an experienced male version. I don't think it has crossed his mind until Angie said! But they still need one and Curly promises to interview some women this afternoon.

Across the road, Neil has arrived for work at the salon and he and Denise bicker about him finishing the work. It's increasingly evident by the personal insults and sarcastic remarks, mostly on her part, that there is or was more between them than just an employer/brickie relationship.

Gail's having a moan about Carmel to Alma. Well, she's of two minds, feeling sorry for Carmel and liking the help with the kids, housework and the financial help her lodging money lends, but she'd like to have her house to herself again. Percy and Phyllis come in for tea and cakes before Percy has to report for duty and the way Phyllis is latched on to him now, i doubt she'll leave his side today! He grumbles about her attention s as usual but it's all water off a duck's back to her.

Audrey flirts with Doug in the shop, Deirdre gets to do the donkey work stacking shelves. Angie comes in for supplies for her meal and a bottle of red plonk (Red? But she's already .... oh never mind!) and makes it clear that she's got a romantic dinner on. Denise is in the shop too and although they aren't formally introduced, they share a smile while Denise rushes through the shop. Doug flirts with her too, asking if she's unisex..."By Eck, they don't waste time asking personal questions round here!" I think right now, she reminds me a bit of Elsie Tanner, with much the same "spice" in her attitude to life, especially with her parting remark, "I'd style a camel with three humps if he had the cash!" and rushes back out the door. Audrey also puts in a good word to Doug on Deirdre's behalf, embarrassing Deirdre dreadfully.

Carmel picks up the little ones from Sally who sends Sarah Lou out of earshot so she can charge Carmel about spreading false rumours about Martin and Gail's marriage. Of course Carmel denies doing this and comes over "very hurt" that Sally would even think such a thing and she even manages to get Sally to say that she thinks Carmel is in the way in the Platt household.

Mark and Nicky burst through the cafe door triumphantly bragging about their football win. Tracy is there with her pal Debbie and hints how odd it is to see Alma chatting with Mark but she won't elaborate.

It's happy hour in the pub and the pub seems to be a little busier. Here's hoping they stay past 6:30 and sup regular priced ale! Denise gets to know Liz and Betty and Des comes in and is surprised Jack is still speaking to him after Lisa left. Jack doesn't hold it against Des though, feeling Lisa will be better off in Blackpool anyway but Des looks dubious at that concept.

Alma comes in to lure Audrey out for a drink. Deirdre is invited too but Tracy is cooking tonight so she has to pass. Deirdre takes some teasing about Doug but vows that she's been burned once too often and isn't getting involved. In the pub, Audrey and Alma have a gossip about poor lonely Deirdre and then about Ken and Maggy's budding romance.

Carmel cuts her praise of Nicky short and sends him up to the bath when she hears someone come in. Doesn't matter if it's Gail or Martin, in fact it is Martin and Carmel whips out the hanky and "cries" but won't tell Martin what the problem is. Gail comes in shortly after and they pair of them manage to drag it out of her. Carmel is upset over what Sally said, implying she was in the way and maybe she was right as Gail keeps bringing ads for flats to her attention. As expected, Martin and Gail are concerned and apologetic and assure Carmel she can stay until she finds somewhere that she'll be happy. Gail is surprised with Sally and plans to talk to her but Carmel pleads for her not to, she wouldn't want to cause trouble between the friends.

Curly stops in at home but only long enough to go change and meet Des at the pub. Angie admits Neil is the first one she's seriously been attracted to since Des which puts Curly's nose out of joint a bit, but Angie reassures him that he's still her best mate. And you really do believe it, they are so cute together! I get the feeling that they must have been great friends in real life because they seem to have so much chemistry playing best friends on screen! Scenes like this one and the one last week where they were sharing coffee in the loft and looking at the stars just warm my heart!

Back to the pub, Percy and Phyllis come in. Curly arrives to meet Des. Doug is in too and the conversation turns to Mother Christmas/Epiphany and he suggests Phyllis, heartily seconded and recommended by Percy which decides it for Curly. He and Phyllis go off to conduct negotiations. Reg wobbles in and tries to join Audrey and Alma who push off rather quickly to avoid his company. He then joins Curly and Phyllis and is introduced to Epifanny. Percy leans over his shoulder and whispers with the glee of a job well done, You should have taken me on when you had the chance! Reg twists his head around on his neck stalk in agitation.

Tracy and Deirdre argue again about whether Ken should be told about Mark's natural father. Deirdre regrets opening her mouth and can't get Tracy to see that Maggy doesn't want Mark upset, knowing the boy will find out sooner or later once the secret got out. Tracy only sees her father being hurt by not knowing, especially seeing how he feels about Mike Baldwin and accuses her mother of just not caring.

Denise is clearing up and Angie comes to the door of the salon looking for Neil who was supposed to be at her place a half hour since. Denise apologizes, saying she kept him late and he's probably gone home to clean up. Curious, Denise asks Angie if she and Neil are an item. Angie admits they could be. You know how you sometimes ask someone a question that you didn't even know you were going to ask and as soon as you do, you know the answer or you know you won't like the answer? Well Angie does that when she suddenly asks Denise if she knew Neil from before he was working with her. Denise admits you could put it that way, they were married. Still are, really. Angie's chin joins the sawdust on the floor.

Diane Johnston

Debby Dawson JENNIE SIXSMITH
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by CHARLES LAUDER

Friday (3475, Friday 11 December 1992)

On her way in to the shop, Audreh pops by to see Deirdre. She wants her to come along to a town hall "do" this evening. Deirdre wonders why Alf isn't going but as Audreh laughingly explains, he knows these "freebies" end up "costing him a fortune"! As she leaves, Audreh prevails upon Tracy to get her mum into the spirit of going out - a new frock is in order for starters! Once Audreh is gone, Tracy asks her mother if she intends to go. "It seems I've no choice!" Deirdre smiles in resignation.

Carmel accompanies Gail across to Sally's to drop off David for the day. Gail mentions to Sally that Carmel will be picking the baby up later as she'll be off early and taking the kids to see Father Christmas at his grotto. "Just so there won't be any misunderstanding!" Carmel pointedly chimes in for Sally's benefit. "Well now I know, don't I?" answers Sally defiantly. The exchange goes over Gail's head as she cheerfully goes off oblivious to the mutual hostility.

Tracy and Deirdre have another heart to heart, concerning the business of Mark's paternity and whether or not Ken needs to know about it. Deirdre's point is that it's Maggy's business, she'll tell him in her own good time. Tracy can't understand why it should be left to Maggy - she reckons Ken has the right to know as he may choose not to have any further involvement once he's aware that Mike Baldwin is in the picture. Deirdre can only appeal to Tracy's honour - she was told this in *confidence*!

When Neil comes across to see Angie, she gives him short shrift. He apparently came over last night for the dinner they planned and found her not at home and is clueless as to why he was stood up. "Lost me appetite", answers Angie flatly. He still doesn't understand so he gropes for words, suggesting he'd have just had a coffee at work if he'd known... "Got your *wife* to make it for you, would you?" snaps Angie. Stunned, Neil asks how she knew. When she admits that Denise is the one who told her, he exclaims that they are separated, as good as divorced, even. "Separated? Eight hours a day - separated?" smirks Angie. He didn't tell her and that's what counts - either he's got something to hide or he was out to make a fool of her. Whatever the case, she shows him the door!

Steve is still driving without a license, "joy-riding" they call it here in Canada. Mike arrives at the garage to dispatch him for some order or other, and on hearing from Kevin that the van's clutch is iffy, hands over the keys to his beloved Jag. As Steve merrily goes off, Mike warns him that using the car phone is grounds for dismissal and Steve promises to behave.

As Denise and Audreh are chatting in the new salon, Neil reports for work in a very bad temper. He slams down his tool box and is warned by Denise to be careful. Defiantly, he accuses her of spoiling things between him and Angie. "You had to tell her, didn't you!"

In the pub later, Denise is standing at the bar looking meditative. Angie comes in and purposefully avoids her but Denise takes herself over for a quiet word. She tells Angie that she knows she'd like to talk and suggests that they pick up a bottle and go over to her place so they can get things sorted. Reluctantly, Angie agrees.

Jack complains to Jim that there'll be no Christmas bonus for the staff but as Jim points out, Bet is doing her best under trying circumstances and he shouldn't push his luck. As a matter of fact, Bet's had the calculator out today. She's been going over the figures and it seems that 'Happy Hour' is taking off. When the Rovers closes for the dinner hour, she has a mini brain storming session with the staff about what else can be done to improve business. Liz suggests snack foods on the bar, peanuts and crisps. Bet objects on the grounds that they're expensive - folk would only come in for the free food. Ah, but suppose they didn't put them out until 'Happy Hour' was nearly over? People come in for the cheap drinks but the free food would keep them in longer if they only put it out at say, 6:15... Bet sees the logic in the plan right away, only to heck with peanuts and crisps - let's do sandwiches. She orders Jack off to Alf's for a couple of loaves but before he can go, she stops him to ask about the piano player they used to get in... "Julian, wasn't it?" Jack recoils, "That Jessy!" "Oiy! There's only me allowed to call him a Jessy!" Bet retorts. Sending Jack off for the bread and with orders for Liz to grab a bucket and "make everything shine", she goes to the phone to book "the Jessy".

Ken retreats to the cafe for his lunch after a school field trip to a local museum. Tracy happens to be in and comes over now to invite him for a home cooked meal tonight as her mother will be out for the evening. He eagerly accepts but wonders at the unusual invitation. (Uh-oh....)

Steve is on his way back to Weatherfield from the factory he was sent to. Driving along at a fair clip, he's obviously taken to the Jag in a big way. Checking himself out in the rearview mirror, turning up the volume on the radio, he does what his driving examiner warned him about only the week before, approaches the intersection *too fast*! Sure enough, the guy coming the other way doesn't stop and we hear a hapless "Oh no!" from Steve immediately before his passenger side gets the impact.

Luckily for Steve, there are two officers only across the road at the time of the accident. The other driver is drunk, which accounts for his failure to stop at the junction. But, as one of the officers points out, Steve was also driving a bit too fast which didn't help. On the request to see his license, Steve fumbles before telling the cop that he left it at the garage. "You'll have to come to the station to produce it then... Name?" Hesitating only briefly, he answers, "Kevin Webster". (Double uh-oh!)

Over their wine, Angie listens as Denise recounts the story of her life before, during and after Neil. She started out married to a rich, older bloke named Frank. It was only when Neil came to do some remodelling of their kitchen that Denise realized she wasn't happy in her marriage. She and Neil ended up having what she describes as a "torrid affair" after which she left Frank to marry Neil. In retrospect, she came to the realization that she only used Neil to break free of her marriage. Once they were together, she started looking at him as "just a nice kid", but not someone she wanted to be married to.

Angie interjects that Neil told her his wife was seeing someone and Denise explains that it suits him to believe that, as it suits her to allow him to... "Neil doesn't overrate himself, so he thinks since he persuaded me away from Frank, I'm easily persuaded". With Angie's uncertainties laid to rest (for the most part) Denise says that she thinks she and Neil suit one another. "Thanks, but I think you've just talked yourself out of the clear judgement award", Angie smiles. "Well," counters Denise jokingly, "I must be half right - otherwise, you wouldn't have got past the first glass!"

Back at the garage, Mike starts to worry over what is taking Steve so long. He uses his cell phone to call the factory and learns that his employee has been and gone, some time ago. Just as he hangs up, Steve pulls up in the dented Jaguar. Shocked, Mike goes over to see the damage and demands to know what happened. Steve tells the story of the drunk running the intersection, neglecting to mention that he was unable to show his documents... He hastens to assure Mike that according to the police, the insurance will take care of the damage as the other driver is at fault.

Carmel has brought David and Sarah Lou to the grotto at Krazy Kuts, where Percy has found employment as Father Christmas. As he sits talking to Sarah Lou, he overhears Carmel brazenly telling a woman in the queue that David is her son, while Sarah Lou is her husband's child from a previous marriage! (Obviously Carmel doesn't realize that Father Christmas is R Percy!)

The Rovers is launching its new strategy for keeping the patrons in. At 6:15 on the dot, just as the place starts to empty, Liz comes out with a tray of sandwiches, enticing customers to stay just a little longer. In the background, Julian (the Jessy) strikes up a tune on the piano. Gail and Martin come in and join Audreh and Deirdre at the bar where they are having a pre "do" drink.

Just as the Websters are getting ready to join Gail and Martin in the Rovers, Percy stops over to share some disturbing news about Carmel with Sally...

Meanwhile, Angie has invited Neil in for a talk now that she's home again. He's puzzled about her change in demeanour from this morning but as she informs him, she's had a talk with Denise and is now satisfied there is nothing between them. What did she say, he wants to know? "She confirmed your story. And, she said you were a decent bloke", Angie replies as she reaches to embrace him.

The Rovers is now getting very busy. Audreh and Deirdre have gone on their way but Sally and Kevin have joined Martin and Gail at their table, and Steve and Des are there as well. When Kevin gets up to buy the next round, Steve sheepishly follows him to the bar "to help". Sally takes the opportunity to have a word on the quiet with Gail about Percy's shocking news - that Carmel was trying to pass Gail's kids off as her own. Incredulous, Gail laughs off the notion. Sally is taking things "too far", she asserts - Carmel wouldn't do such a thing so Sally or Percy must have just "misunderstood"! Indignant at not being taken seriously, Sally gets up to leave. She goes to the bar to inform Kevin that she'd like to go somewhere else. He brushes her aside for the moment though, he's trying to make sense of what Steve has just said - that he didn't in fact get his certification as a driver, and that when it came to the accident, he gave Kevin's name instead of his own! Now, he's asking Kevin to bail him out...

At No. 1, Tracy and her father have finished an apparently satisfying meal. Now, for afters, she puts on the tea kettle, while tentatively edging her way into the real reason she asked him over. Puzzled by her air of mystery, he wonders if she's in some kind of trouble. "Oh, no - nothing like that", she replies, "I just don't want to see you upset". (He's been "through so much" in the last couple years and "deserves better"...) Finally, she gets down to brass tacks, telling him that Mark is Mike Baldwin's son. Ken's immediate reaction is to call the idea "ridiculous" but he soon realizes that Tracy is serious. He demands to know where she got the information and Tracy tells him about Deirdre going to the shop, realizing she'd seen Maggy before and recognizing her as the woman Mike had an affair with years earlier. Seething with anger, Ken rises from the table and storms from the house, leaving Tracy wondering if she did the right thing in telling him. She calls after him but doesn't follow, remaining at the table and biting her lower lip, deep in thought.

Anita Belanger

PC Bannen: DAVID WEBBER Julian: ROBERT MAXFIELD Stunt Arranger (for the "accident"): COLIN SKEAPING
Written by PAUL ABBOTT Directed by CHARLES LAUDER


Originally transmitted: 14, 16, 18, 21 & 23 December 1992
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 7 - Friday 11 February 2000
Episode Numbers: 3476 - 3480

Monday (3476, Monday 14 December 1992)

An establishing shot of the street tells us it's night and a taxi pulls up. Deirdre gets out, Audrey stays inside and hollers good night out the window. Oh, right, Audrey invited Deirdre to attend some do with her so we're starting off later in the night from where we left off yesterday. Before Deirdre can go inside, Ken emerges from the shadows, startling Deirdre and barks at her. They need to talk! He turns around abruptly and walks back down the pavement. Deirdre realizes he wants her to follow to his flat and with a sigh and a quizzical look, she does. Once inside he verbally attacks her, accusing her of putting Tracy up to it, wanting to destroy his life by spreading vicious rumours. Flummoxed, Deirdre hasn't a clue what he's talking about and threatens to leave. Ken reveals that Tracy told him that Mark Redman is Mike Baldwin's son! Deirdre's face tightens in anger and admits she knew about it once she realized who Maggy was but didn't feel it was any of her business to tell him and explains she only told Tracy, swearing her to secrecy, to avoid Tracy making up further stories. He screams at her and wonders what else she's told Tracy about Mike Baldwin (referring to her own affair) and accusing her of being economical with the truth. She leaves him to deal with the truth and goes home. And really, he's nearly hysterical in his rantings!

Across the road, Gail is losing sleep as well, curious as to why Carmel would be telling strangers that Gail's children were her own. Martin, hoping to get a few hours of sleep, urges her to mark it all down to Percy's nonsense. (Ah, but one thing Percy is not, is a liar!)

In the morning, we see that it's opening day for the salon. Denise has run out early for a newspaper in which is her shop ad. Raquel comes by and puts on airs, telling Denise that, being a model, her hair needs special care so she gets hers done in town. Denise manages to put Raquel in her place and then waves to Deirdre who only returns a stony gaze. Guess she didn't get much sleep either! Denise looks across the road at her shop with pride and excitement.

Doug and Steve visit Kevin early on as well, trying to convince him to go to the police and produce his driver's documents in Steve's place for the accident report. Straight as an arrow, Kev refuses no matter what they say, it's illegal and he doesn't' want to get dropped in it.

In the corner shop, Audrey takes her hangover into the back room for a fizzy remedy. We hear two conflicting tales of hers and Deirdre's outing the night before when Audrey tells Alf that Deirdre was no more fun than a wet dishrag and Deirdre tells Bet that it felt like the Dating Game with Audrey flirting and dancing the more she had to drink! Percy is nosing around the plum pudding display, insisting to Alf that they are past their sell by date and have gone all dry. Alf thinks you can keep puddings forever and figures if Percy doesn't like the look, not to buy them! Mike stops in for cigars and is taken aback with the cold reception Deirdre gives him. (Well it's not his fault is it!)

Dinnertime in the pub, Bet tells Rita that business is up because of the happy hour but she doesn't know how long it can be sustained. She invites Rita for an afternoon at the new salon. Over in a booth, Doug and Steve are still trying to convince Kevin to cover for Steve while Percy is trying to get Betty's opinion of the longevity of puddings. Mike arrives but when he tries to send Steve on another trip, Steve has to admit that he lied about having a license. Mike angrily sacks him for lying and driving his vehicles without a license. (fair game if you ask me! And by the way Mike went over to get another scotch and he calls the barmaid "Rackle!")

Ken has shown up on Maggy's doorstep waiting for her to come home. It didn't seem to be arranged as she appeared to be surprised to see him so what was he doing, standing on her step all day? Stupid man! Once inside his anger spills over at her secret keeping. We all know it isn't really any of his business what she's done in her past and she tells him the same thing in so many words. Course, she doesn't realize that Ken has a real hangup about Mike Baldwin yet. She explains that Mike did want to marry her but she didn't trust him and turned to her old friend Harry Redman who took them on and brought up Mark as his own. Harry was Mark's dad in every way that counts so that's why Maggy has never told Mark. Ken calms down briefly and apologizes for his reaction but he justifies it by revealing that Mike had an affair with Deirdre and married his daughter. He feels like Mike is always going to be around every corner all his life and he hates the man! He can't see how he and Maggy can continue this relationship!

Back to the garage, Kevin tells Mike that he knew nothing of Steve's lies until after the accident and that Steve used his name and wants him to cover on the accident report. Mike is astonished at Steve's nerve (my dad would say "More nerve than Dick Tracy! Ok let's update that a bit, "More nerve than James Bond!") Mike feels it is a matter best left to the police now but Kevin points out that Mike's insurance won't cover the car repairs as the driver wasn't licensed. So now Mike does want Kevin to go to the police and falsify the report using his own documents. Kevin finally agrees but only if Mike will give Steve his job back. Baldwin rudely asks Kevin what favours Kevin owes Steve? Kevin shuts him up with a curt counter, "What favours to I owe you!".

Let's get back to Ken and Maggy. She's doing a bit of business on the phone while he's trying to hold his brains in his head. She returns to the room to try to get Ken to realize that this situation isn't about them but he is having trouble getting past it all. Maggy is very upset as she has grown to care very much for Ken and doesn't want to finish. Mark arrives home and that gives Ken the window to leave wordlessly, leaving Mark to comfort his crying mother with alarm.

From the emotional to the light and airy atmosphere of the new salonÖ busy on opening day. There's Rita under a towel and Denise waxing Bet's legs in the back. Fiona is just putting the finishing touches on Carmel's style, which is really just that her hair is pulled back from her forehead and sides of her face into a half ponytail with it braided down her back. Start as you mean to go on, I guess, because Carmel is pleased with the "cut", telling Fiona that usually they take too much off LOLOL! Doesn't' look like they've taken ANY off that head of long chestnut brown hair. And so the tradition is started! Poor Bet looks ill when Denise rips off the fabric and hot wax off her legs and Carmel is hoping "her boyfriend" likes her new haircut. Wonder who that could be?

Kevin is seen at the police station settling the paperwork. The very carrot haired desk cop seems satisfied with the papers and all is signed and sealed.

Chez Platt, everyone is busy getting tea on the table. Gail decides to satisfy her curiosity and asks Carmel if he referred to Sarah Lou and David as her kids. Carmel was ready for this eventuality and without hesitation tells Gail that she just did it to silence a nosy old biddie in the line up at the grotto. Gail is satisfied. Carmel teases Martin because he didn't notice her haircut. (Of course he didn't!! How could he?)

Ken is making his way down a large bottle of Jack. He picks up the phone but decides not to call and instead picks up his car keys and leaves his flat. (oh what a GOOD example!)

Percy mithers Alf some more in the pub about those flaming puddings until Alf promises to eat one to prove his point. Kevin tells Doug and Steve it went ok at the police station and Steve isn't fired after all. In spite of Doug's warning to the lad about cleaning up his act, Steve seems to have a cocky grin on his face. Mike takes Kevin to one side to touch base and rubs salt in Kevin's guilt by telling him he likes Kevin better now that he's done something illegal where a few months ago he wouldn't even fiddle an invoice!

Maggy is doing dishes, tears still wet on her cheeks. Mark ushers Ken into the kitchen. Ken tentatively opens his arms to her and she runs to him, weeping with joy as he apologizes to both she and Mark.

Diane Johnston

Police Constable PAUL LOUGHRAN First appearance of Fiona Middleton ANGELA GRIFFIN
Written by PAUL ABBOTT Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Tuesday (3477, Wednesday 16 December 1992)

Carmel and Martin are studying together mid-morning. Carmel comments she isn't looking forward to going home for Christmas and remarks on her new life in Weatherfield now. This none-too-subtle hint to be asked to spend Chrismas with the Platts isn't taken up by Martin, who's busy grumbling about having to attend the hospital Christmas bash.

In the Kabin, Doug is filling Rita and Mavis in on Alf's plan to consume an entire Christmas pudding in the Rovers at dinnertime. It's because Percy slagged off his puddings, he explains - Alf is "defending his puddings' honour!" Mavis and Rita think it's foolish but Doug points out that Alf's being more pragmatic than that - it's "that or get stuck with a gross of rotten puddings, in'it?" Bets are being taken as to whether Alf can do it, and Doug's got a fiver on him. After he leaves, Mavis tut-tuts at the foolishness of it all, but Rita 'coincidentally' decides she'd like to take her dinner break just then, to pop over the Rovers - "to see what's going down, as they say."

And a large crowd has gathered to watch Mr. Roberts attempt the deed. Jack's taking bets all round, although Percy (who is smiling ear to ear and clearly enjoying the fuss and bustle he's caused) loudly declares that he doesn't bet. "That's 'cause you know you'll lose!" says Alf, before taking the first bite.

Back at the Platt household, Carmel is cooking dinner for her and Martin and no doubt enjoying playing happy families with him alone in the house. She asks if Gail is accompanying him to the hospital Christmas bash. Is she kidding? Martin asks. Last year there was a stripping policewoman and a bedpan drinking contest - get the picture? Doesn't Gail mind him going alone to such places? wonders Carmel. Better alone than dragging her along, is the gist of Martin's reply - walking down the street at 2 a.m. singing "Delilah" with a bedpan on her head isn't Gail's idea of fun. Carmel brings the chips and Martin comments that she'll make some kid a great mother someday. Carmle replies she doesn't think she'll ever get married; she's too choosy. Martin says she's right to be so, there are some very funny fellows about, and watch out for the ones with the bedpans on their heads! As he walks to the table, Carmel's gaze after him makes it clear she's choosy, all right - and she's chosen _him_.

Back at the Rovers, Alf can't believe he ate the whole thing, but he did - and to the triumphant cheers and exchange of money, he shouts that there's plenty more where that came from - "support your local shop!"

Reg and Curly watch the Christmas purchases rack up at the Bettabuys cash registers. Reg says he loves Christmas, has since he was a lad. Curly, on the other hand, thinks Scrooge had it right - humbug. He reveals he is looking at spending Christmas alone as Angie has other plans by the name of Neil. Reg commiserates - "Freeman by name, Free Woman by nature, that one!" he says disapprovingly. He himself is "laying on full English fare this year," but Curly's curious questions as to who this feast will be for are met with the claim that this information is "strictly confidential".

At the Roberts' Alf, looking a little green, is taking a brandy as Audrey pulls purchase after Christmas purchase out of her heaping pile of shopping bags - including "a little something for me". "You've got umpteen handbags already, what do you want another for?" asks an exasperated Alf, eyeing the fuschia quilted satin number. "It's not a handbag, it's a clutch bag," says Audrey as if explaining it to a particularly slow child, and he should be grateful that she did all the Christmas shopping and saved him traipsing all over the shops. She'll go shopping, which she enjoys, and pretend it's "for him", says Alf bitterly, but she won't go to the WARTS Christmas party with him. Audrey says that on the contrary, being out there in the stores with the decorations and music reminded her it's the season of good will and she has decided to go, even if it's just a bunch of boring old shopkeepers. She's bought Alf a garish cummerbund to wear and - oh yes - a fabulous new fuschia frock for her to wear! And what a lucky thing - it's a perfect match for that new clutchbag! Alf looks greener than ever.

Ken drops into Deirdre's to have a family chat about Maggie and Mark Redmond. Deirdre says he can tell Maggie there's nothing to worry about - she and Tracy won't say anything to Mark about Mike Baldwin being his biological father. Tracy is very argumentative, however, repeatedly saying she doesn't know why Maggie won't tell him and that she thinks he should know. After all, Ken and Deirdre told her who her real father is. (For those of you without your scorecards handy, Tracy is Deirdre and Ray Langton's daughter; Ken later adopted her.) And it was a very difficult decision to do so! remind Deirdre and Ken. It's Maggie's decision and hers alone. What if Mike tells him? Tracy muses. Ken tells her that Mike has promised to stay away from Mark until he's eighteen, "although I wouldn't put anything past that snake." "Why do you always go on about Mike Baldwin?" asks Tracy. "What's wrong with him?" Ken is visibly caught off-guard by this question, but Deirdre steps in smoothly saying the point is, Tracy is NOT to say anything to anyone. Does she understand? "I've said yes, haven't I?" Tracy says sullenly.

We're at the WARTS 'do' and Alf is in some discomfort. He blames it on his cummerbund being too tight and Audrey blames it on his eating too much. Their loud bickering can be heard up and down the table. "Go on. Kill y'self," snaps Audrey. "Eat y'self to death. See if I care!" Suddenly Alf lurches forward, then back, his face bathed in sweat. Audrey rushes to undo his formal tie, begging someone to call an ambulance. "He's having a heart attack!" she cries.

Gail and Carmel share a bottle of wine (white, of course, silly) since Martin's out "living it up". Carmel protests that she's already had two glasses and isn't used to drinking. Just then Audrey calls and we can hear her near-hysterical voice over the phone. "Is it your father-in-law?" asks Carmel. [Gail doesn't correct her as she apparently meant "step-father". If she was scripted to say "father-in-law" she must've been meant to assume it was Brian's father, since if it she though it was Martin's father she would've been much more concerned for Martin.] Gail says it was; he's had a heart attack and she has to go to the hospital, her mother's hysterical. Carmel assures Gail she will take care of everything here. "Thanks, Carmel - you're a treasure!" says Gail, with the dreaded S.O.P.O.D!!!

At the Rovers, Des and Curly bemoan the cheerlessness of their respective lonely Christmases. Denise and Rita bemoan the stress of running your own business but laud the joys of being your own boss. Reg approaches as Denise leaves and invites Rita for that "full English fare" he is planning. Rita panics amusingly as she says he's very, very kind but no. He suggests she sleep on it and she says that as she's not sleeping much these days, the answer is still no! With that she flees the Rovers leaving Reg to turn his beady eyes in search of Plan B. He approaches Bet and begins with customary tact. "I couldn't help notice something is missing," he says, waggling his left ring finger, "and I was wondering if Alec would be joining you for Christmas festivities?" Bet replies icily that it's none of his business and he replies that he just finds it sad, particularly in this season of good will toward all men. "Not *all*," she snaps. His invitation to come to his "pied a terre" for Christmas is similarly dealt with. He thought they could have "a little goose", he offers. "I've had enough of them to last a lifetime. No Thanks!"

Ken and Maggie are having a quiet evening in. Maggie asks whether he thinks Dreary told Tracy about Mark's bio-father on purpose. Not out of malice, Ken assures her. Dreary knows how Ken feels about Mike Baldwin and thought she was protecting him. What about Tracy? worries Maggie. She's young and could let it out. Perhaps a year ago, when she was bitter about his and Deirdre's breakup, Ken says, but she's more mature now. Maggie tells Ken that Mark loved Harry Redmond very much. She knows she will have to tell him about Mike sometime - Mike, after all, has only agreed to stay away until Mark is 18 - but she wants to prepare him. It's too soon after losing his beloved father. Ken tells her not to worry. Later as he prepares to leave he invites her for a meal tomorrow night at his flat. "In Coronation Street?" Maggie asks uncertainly. Ken reminds her that it's all right now - "everything's sorted."

At the hospital, all Audrey's usual facade has been stripped away as she tearfully tells Gail that the last thing she said to Alf was "go on - kill yourself"! "I'm horrible to him," sobs the anguished Audrey, ignoring Gail's protests. "I'm always moody, and being sarcastic, and spending his money." She loves him, she wails. The Doctor [I suppose I wasn't supposed to be noticing during this intense scene, but yum!] comes and tells them Alf is resting comfortably and that they should go home and get some rest. Gail asks if it was a heart attack and the Doctor says it wasn't. "Of course it was, I was there!" sobs a distraught Audrey. The Doctor assures her it wasn't, but since he's had heart trouble in the past they want to keep him in for observation and tests. "He was dying!" protests Audrey. "There's something you're not telling me!" The Doctor assures her that's not true and again says they *must* go home and get some rest. Gail says they will do so. "Just take care of him, will ya?" begs Audrey. She then begs Gail not to leave her but to stay with her just for tonight. Gail assures her she will do so, and will call Martin from Audrey's home.

She does just that, and Carmel rushes to answer it. ["How's your father-in-law?" she asks again, making me wonder even more if she was scripted to mistake "father-in-law" for "step-father", or whether the actress got it wrong the first time and they decided to stick with it to avoid reshooting the scene. Or whether Alf is somehow Gail's father-in-law and I'm the one without the scorecard.] Martin still isn't home, Carmel says, but she promises to leave a note explaining what has happened. Gail is not to worry about a thing, she reiterates - "all the little angels are fast asleep". Shortly thereafter, a cab drops the well-lubricated Martin off. He looks exhausted but merry as he unsteadily sits on the stairs and takes off his boots and jacket, then goes upstairs to bed. "Gail? Gail?" he whispers in the darkened bedroom, but he gets no reply. He sits on the edge of the bed for a moment and takes off his trousers, then gets into bed and curls up on his side. In the darkness a hand creeps over his side and he tucks it under his arm in a familiar marital gesture. The hand, we see as the camera pulls back, belongs to Carmel, who turns and snuggles contentedly into Martin's back as he almost instantly falls asleep. She watches him adoringly in the darkness.

ronniecat

Dr. Sharma: NIRJAY MAHINDU
Written by HARRY DUFFIN Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Wednesday (3478, Friday 18 December 1992)

It's the morning after the night before. The camera pans to the Platt's bedroom window and then inside it where -- uh oh! -- Carmel is curled up in bed with Martin. Martin is still sound asleep, but Carmel is awake and staring lovingly at the man beside her. Suddenly there's a knock on the door and Sarah-Louise calls out for her mommy. Carmel slides out of bed to answer while Martin, who is now awake, rubs his aching head. His hung-over daze vanishes instantly when he realizes Carmel is in the bedroom, in her nightgown. "Where's Gail?" is his obvious question, but Carmel doesn't answer. Instead, she informs him that Sarah-Louise wants her breakfast, but not to worry, she'll look after it. A shocked Martin can only ask again where Gail is, and Carmel quickly summarizes the events of the evening before -- that Gail stayed with her mom and that Alf is in the hospital. Martin opens the door to Sarah-Louise (who clearly gets a glimpse of Carmel in the background), and tells her he'll be down in a minute.

Meanwhile, Audrey and Gail are outside, in Audrey's car. Audrey thanks her for "being there" during the crisis, and voices again how frightened she was that she might have lost Alf. She'll need to stop by the Corner Shop to tell Deirdre that she won't be in, but Gail will take care of that for her.

After Audrey drives off, Gail goes straight into the Corner Shop, and in response to Deirdre's concerned questions, tells her that it wasn't Alf's heart after all. The doctors aren't quite sure at this point, but it could even be something as simple as acute indigestion. Percy stops by, looking dreadfully serious, and asks about Alf's health. He confesses that he didn't get a wink of sleep worrying about Alf, and feels responsible for goading him into eating the pudding.

Back at the Platt's home, Martin yells at Nicky to turn off the telly and come eat his breakfast, while Sarah-Louise informs Martin that his breath "stinks." Carmel, who is acting as though nothing out of the ordinary has happened, asks Martin if he had a good night(!), but Martin ignores her. Instead, he asks her what she's up to, but before Carmel can respond, Gail arrives to hugs and kisses from the kids. She hands Carmel a box of chocolates as a token of her gratitude for "taking care of things" the night before (if she only knew!), but Carmel shrugs it off in her usual "I was born to be a mother" manner as she heads off for classes. Martin refuses to accompany her, saying he'll go to school later, and Gail suggests that he go back to bed.

At the Kabin, Mavis confesses to a bemused Rita that she put up a tiny Christmas stocking for Harry, the budgie, causing Rita to wonder what one would put in a budgie's stocking. Emily arrives, looking for Percy, but apparently no one has seen him in the Kabin that morning. Before leaving, she tells Rita that she's more than welcome to join her and Mr. Sugden for Christmas dinner, but Rita claims that her schedule is full. After Emily leaves, Rita admits that she's hoping Jenny will call her or come by on Christmas day.

Audrey drops by the Corner Shop, where Deirdre asks her if she managed to get any sleep. She managed to have a short nap, and is on her way back to the hospital. Raquel points at the pudding display and wonders if it was one of those that caused Alf his problems, noting that if that's so, she certainly isn't going to buy one. Strangely, Audrey takes one on her way out the door.

At the hospital, Audrey is appalled to see the extent of injuries in the beds on the ward, including a patient with a nasty head wound from a car accident. Opening a bag, she presents Alf with a present -- the Christmas pudding from the shop -- and informs him that Percy told her that Alf was capable of eating one "all in one go." She threatens a horrified Alf with showing the pudding to the doctors; perhaps that will help them diagnose his medical problem. Alf hides it under his blankets while Audrey goes through his personal effects on the bedside table. Alf isn't best pleased when she comes up with the trophy -- his wallet -- and extracts his credit cards. After all, she hasn't finished her Christmas shopping and still needs to buy a gift for Alma and Mike, as well as a few more Christmas trimmings and crackers. Alf protests that they have crackers left over from last year (the ones that pop open with a bang to produce a hat and a prize), but Audrey tells him she has "cream crackers" in mind, since that's all Alf will be allowed to eat over the holidays.

At school, Martin confronts Carmel as she's coming out of class and hustles her off to a stairwell for a private discussion. He demands again to know what happened the night before, and to his horrer, Carmel describes it as being "wonderful, the most wonderful night of my life." Martin, though, refuses to believe that anything inappropriate happened between them, and tells her that she's mad. "Madly in love," is Carmel's response. Martin angrily declares that he wants her out of his house, immediately, and fearful of losing her make-believe world, Carmel admits that while their night was great, it won't happen again -- not if it means having to move away from him. Martin, who is only beginning to understand the depth of Carmel's obsession, pronounces her "twisted" and accuses her of trying to ruin his marriage. An unfazed Carmel, however, "knows" that Martin loves her. The proof: he urged her to break up with Michael, and invited her to live in his home and take care of his children. While she's away at Christmas she wants him to sort out his feelings, but in the meantime, she feels sorry for Gail!

Reg happens upon a glum Curly, who is absent-mindedly perusing the wine display at Bettabuys. He assumes that Curly is down because he'll probably be spending Christmas alone, to which Curly responds, "possibly." Reg produces a travel brochure, sent to those who are "single and upwardly mobile." According to Reg, it arrived in a "plain, brown envelope," and advertises resorts that offer everything from "monogrammed dressing gowns to athletic supports -- if you take my meaning." While Curly browses through it, Reg becomes interested in a two-page advert offering an all-inclusive weekend for "Santa's Special Singles." Curly says he'll think about it, but Reg already has a quieter weekend planned, playing "jingle bells" from after supper until early morning (I won't even try to describe Reg's lascivious mouth gestures as he uttered that last sentence -- ewwwwww!).

Back at the Rover's Return, Racquel complains about Wayne's manager, who is "ever so bossy." and who seems to blame Wayne everytime they lose a game. Raquel told him that it wasn't Wayne's fault that no one passes the ball to him. Curly wonders if Wayne will be spending Christmas with her, but Raquel claims that his manager says Wayne has to watch his "intake" and not over-indulge, so he's spending his Christmas with his Auntie Freda in Skipton. "He's going to his Auntie Freda's?" Des smirks -- "and you believe him?" Raquel accuses Des of being jealous because he'll probably be spending Christmas on his own, and Des glumly agrees, but Curly points out that things don't have to necessarily work out that way as he produces the holiday brochure. Meanwhile, Rita orders drinks, and at a nearby table, Mavis asks Audrey if it was the Christmas pudding that caused Alf's problem. Audrey laughingly admits that it was the pudding, and confides that she was ashamed when she visited Alf at hospital. He was surrounded by men with serious health problems or injuries and was taking up a precious hospital bed simply because he wanted to show up Percy. Back at the bar, Des decides that a weekend away sounds like a lot more fun than being stuck on his own over Christmas, so goes off to make arrangements for himself and Curly.

Down the street, Gail is pleasantly surprised when Carmel presents her with a stack of Christmas gifts for the Platts. Carmel can't wait to be with her family but she's not looking forward to seeing Michael; in fact, she never wants to see him again. She suddenly remembers that she's forgotten something upstairs, and when she dashes off, Martin and Gail take the opportunity to hug and kiss in anticipation of their evening alone, without Carmel. Carmel's face assumes a wooden expression when she returns in the middle of the snog session, but she's saved from further embarrassment when a car horn announces that her taxi has arrived. Gail calls the kids down to say goodbye while Martin carries her bags. Outside, Carmel takes the opportunity to tell him that she wishes he was coming with her. While Martin rolls his eyes, Carmel assures him that he'll not be out of her thoughts.

Back to the Rover's Return, Steve and Mike negotiate how many days Steve will have off during Christmas, and Steve reluctantly agrees to work half a day on Monday. Reg approaches the table where Rita is chatting with Mavis and Audrey, and asks for a quiet word. He asks about her Christmas plans, and an impatient Rita reminds him that they've already been over this and the answer is still NO. He proposes a fabulous Christmas, wonderful meals, and a four-star hotel, with separate rooms, of course. Rita sighs heavily and informs him that even if he promised a trip to the moon on separate rocketships, the answer would still be no. His plans now blown completely out of the water, Reg goes back to the bar to ask Curly for his vacation brochure, but as it turns out, Des has it and is at this moment ringing the hotel to book rooms for himself and Curly. Reg is suddenly animated with excitement at the prospect of the three bachelors having a swinging weekend away until Des (who obviously overheard Reg) arrives back and informs Curly that he's just booked the last two rooms. A disappointed Reg moans that it was *his* brochure, and as he leaves, Curly congratulates Des on "pulling a blinder."

Ken welcomes Maggie into his apartment, and while she admires his flat, he admits that it is rather small, but Maggie characterizes it as being "cozy" with the added advantage that it is near Tracy. Staring out the window, she assumes that the closed factory indicates that Mike is no longer doing business on the street, but Ken tells her that he owns a garage as well as a factory unit. "He can't hurt us now," Maggie observes, as she confesses that she was terrified when she thought she might lose Ken. This leads to a long and passionate kiss.

Heather Morlan

Written by PHIL WOODS Directed by BRIAN MILLS

Thursday (3479, Monday 21 December 1992)

Martin has been preoccupied all weekend and we know why but Gail doesn't. Just as Martin is finally about to unburden his troubles, Audrey arrives for a prearranged family visit to hospital, to see Alf, and the moment, the momentum and Martin's nerve are lost.

Alma is trying to cope with the busy morning rush. She might as well be on her own for all the help she's getting from the slower moving Phyllis. Not helped by Percy's very vocal nagging and complaining, either. Mike rushes in for a cup of tea, fresh mind! Only to have his head snapped off by Alma for jumping the queue. He decides it might be more prudent to brew up at the garage instead. (No flies on him! LOL)

Raquel notices that Bet is a bit down and finds out that Vicky has called to say she'll be with Alec for Christmas. Bet really expected it but it's a disappointment anyway. Raquel reminds Bet that she'll be there for Christmas so they can keep each other company and offers to cook dinner for them. She saw an interesting recipe for goose neck stuffed with offal and stilton!! Bet swallows hard and pretends it sounds lovely. Why don't they wait and see what the day brings!

Alf tells Audrey, Gail and Martin that he's been diagnosed with an ulcer which he's probably had for years. Audrey gets to "tell him so" for all his years of overeating and vows he's only having lettuce leaves for his Christmas dinner. Gail invites them to theirs for the day instead. He's also coming home today so that's good news at least.

Des points out to Raquel that her Wayne had his name in the paper for the game on Saturday. He even scored a goal! In fact, it was an "Own Goal" which is very special, it means he did it all by him self with no help from anyone else. Raquel is dead proud and wonders why Wayne didn't call to tell her and spends the rest of the day bragging up his "achievement", not noticing the devilish grins she gets from Des and Jim and, no doubt others. Elsewhere in the pub this dinnertime, Bet begs Rita to come and have Christmas dinner with her and Raquel, partly to head off Raquel's culinary ambitions. Rita, pleased at the chance to avoid Christmas chez Wilton, readily accepts as long as Bet can promise something less exotic than stuffed goose neck!

And i must pause here to comment on Rita's appearance of late. She's gone *very* orange recently but i must say i love her hair style. It's still "big" but not really large, not stiff and helmeted with spray, rather softer waves and curls. It's longer too and caught at the nape of her neck with a bow or something. Quite soft and flattering if it weren't for that colour!

Anyway, Andy arrives at the pub too, just home from college. He's looking very hip all dressed in black with his blonde hair longer than usual. Very avante Garde! Ivy, who's had those killer black roots touched up finally, is feeling sentimental about this Christmas as well, fearing it would never happen considering the year she and Don have just survived. She is looking forward to a nice quiet day in just the two of them. Don, not looking forward to the same, tactfully suggests they go to Gail's, citing shining children's faces, helping hands and family togetherness which is successful in persuading Ivy so Don will go to check on it later.

Mike returns to the cafe, hoping that Alma is in a better mood now that Gail is back at the helm with her. She is calmer now but warns him not to push his luck during the busy time again. Before he leaves he sees Nicky and Mark, who is playing at one of the game machines. He sits down with Nicky for an information gathering conversation and is thrown for a loop when he finds out that Mark's "father" died the year before.

Martin and David drop into the Kabin to get a birthday card for David to take to a party later. Emily is in as well and there is a discussion on the sophistication of men in bow ties. Mike stops in for cigars. Mavis points out the lovely picture Father and Son make in Martin and David but that rubs salt in Mike's recently opened wound and he snaps at Mavis and leaves. Ever notice how Mike seems to buy his cigars at whichever retail outlet requires his presence for a plot development? The other day it was at the corner shop so that Deirdre could give him the cold shoulder just because *she* let the cat out of the bag which ended with Ken finding out his girlfriend's son was Mike's.

Derek has been asked specially by Mrs. Jeffers to care for the school's pet gerbil, Jerry over the holidays. He accepts his mission but Mavis is horrified and repulsed at the rodent in the cage.

Don arrives to ask Martin if it's ok he and Ivy come for Christmas and to find out what kind of chocolate Gail likes for a gift. It's fine with Martin who's finishing the washing up, but Martin is distracted. Don notices and with a little prodding, Martin (off camera) tells Don about the situation with Carmel. When next we see them, Martin insists that he wasn't that drunk that he would forget something like that and anyway doesn't fancy Carmel in the first place. They're just mates and he never gave her any encouragement. He's more worried now because he didn't tell Gail right away and it will now look as if he had something to hide. Considering Don's recent extra marital history, he's hardly the one to give *good* advice, proven by what he does advise Martin. Say nothing and hope it blows over and get shut of Carmel when she returns from Ireland. Gail comes home so the conversation is over, and they tell her they were just discussing Christmas presents. Gail thinks it is a good idea that Don and Ivy come for Christmas but when Audrey hears the news later in the pub, she's less than enthusiastic in her response.

Rita tells Derek and Mavis that she's having Christmas dinner with Bet who would have been on her own, her first Christmas without Vicky or Alec. Mike is still quiet while Alma tries to get his attention to sort out what they will do for their holiday dinner and they finally leave for home, he promising to cheer up.

Raquel takes a call from Wayne. She gushes about his goal but then stops short and becomes flustered because she "didn't know!" Guess he wasn't too chuffed with her telling everyone about it because he hangs up on her and she marches back into the bar and tears a strip off Des for putting her in an embarrassing situation. He defends himself as just having fun but how was she to know it meant he put the goal in his own net, causing the team to lose 2 - 1 instead of tie!!!! Raquel puts him firmly in his place by reminding him sharply that every woman he loved has left him and he's had to spend his Christmas on seedy holidays to Blackpool instead of at home with a wife and family like normal people. Ouch!

Gail and Martin are looking forward to their family Christmas. Martin tells her that what was bothering him that morning is sorted out and he sheepishly mutters Of Course, when she asks if he'd tell her though, if it was something serious?

Mike is still miles away. Alma beseeches him to tell her what's the problem and finally he does. He stuns her with the admission that Nicky's friend Mark is his son!

Diane Johnston

Sue Jeffers: ROMY BASKERVILLE
Written by MARTIN ALLEN Directed by DAVID RICHARDS

Friday (3480, Wednesday 23 December 1992)

Well, based on the fact that Christmas day finds them in Blackpool, we know that Curly and Des made their way there from Weatherfield in this show. Obviously, they came in Des' car as he is driving around looking for Lisa's house on Christmas day. And, according to Diane, the merry pair set off singing "Jingle Bells". I'm guessing that Des is a better singer than Curly. I could be wrong but for the sake of this "update" Curly was singing very off key. That's how I'd expect Curly to sing, so there.

The Monday episode has them discussing Curly's excessive drinking on the evening of their arrival. So let's imagine them in the bar. I'm fairly confident in telling you that Curly drinks more than his share. Once he's finished his own drink, he starts in on Des'. After that, he helps himself to a drink belonging to a "big bloke from Leeds". Des watches in amusement as his friend gets sloshed. He seems to be letting his hair down and since Curly doesn't do this often, (and since his spirits are high in anticipation of seeing Lisa again!) Des is content to let him enjoy himself. The big bloke from Leeds doesn't find it all that amusing but Des manages to persuade him that Curly means no harm, and not to kill him, it being Christmas and all. (Dare I predict that Curly might wish he had in the morning?) There's a possibility of romance for Curly when he and Des are joined by a pretty young single, Tina. Unfortunately, the mood is spoiled for her when she sees Curly is only interested in her for one thing - the little umbrella in her drink. She becomes totally grossed out when he grabs the little wood and paper ornament and starts eating it in front of her!

Okay, as far as Mike and Alma are concerned, Diane tells me that Alma has been up most of the night worrying. Since Mike is preoccupied with involving himself in Mark's life, and since he has the brilliant idea of giving him a Christmas gift, let's assume that he bought said gift in this episode. I imagine he went shopping, saw the biggest, shiniest Tonka truck in the toy store and picked it out specially for Mark. When he got home, he proudly showed it to Alma. She was none too thrilled of course. Whatever Alma lacks in foresight, she seems to make up for by paying later. How many years has Mike been responsible for the fact that she's had a Chrummy Christmas now?

Carmel's gone off to spend Christmas with her family in Ireland. Someone I was chatting with recently complained to me that there are no positive Irish characters on the show. I don't know if this is true - Concepta Riley Hewitt was before my time, but in Carmel's case, she is definitely a villain par excellence - someone you can loathe without reservation. Since she was here on Thursday but gone on Monday, let's assume that she takes her leave in today's episode. Martin and Gail see her off. While Gail is looking forward to a few days of normality in the house, (i.e., having her household back) Martin can't wait to see her go. Carmel on the other hand, makes much of the fact that she'll miss them all - especially Martin.

What else? I really don't know - it must have been a filler type show, one we can easily do without. But while I'm here, can I just say that in contrast to Diane's recent observation, I *hate* Rita's current hairstyle. You couldn't imagine one of the Gabor sisters in a pony tail could you? Well to me, Rita looks just as silly wearing it clipped back in a big bow or barrett.


Originally transmitted: 25, 28 & 30 December 1992; 1 & 4 January 1993
Transmitted by WTN: Monday 14 - Friday 18 February 2000
Episode Numbers: 3481 - 3485

Monday (3481, Friday 25 December 1992)

Curly has one blinder of a hangover. He's crawled to the mini bar to chip some ice out for his head and to have a drink. I think it was water because pouring alcohol into him in his state would have had a far more violent reaction. Des is bright and chirpy and assures Curly he did have a good time as did the bird he made friends with (Curly not Des). Des describes his huge hot full English breakfast of kippers and sausage to a nauseated Curly and then decides he's going for a walk. Curly declines to accompany him although I think some fresh sea air might do him the world of good.

Just as well he didn't go though, As Des has no intention of finding the sea air. He's in a car consulting an A to Z and drives up in front of a nice house. You guessed it, it's Lisa's house. Jeff Horton lets him in but it's soon apparent that Des is mistaken for some far flung Australian relative which he is not and gently corrects his erstwhile host. He explains he's a friend of Lisa's but is quick to correct the notion that he's not a friend of Terry's. He's the owner of the garden where Lisa used to sun the baby and therefore is accepted. But Lisa isn't home, she's taken Tommy for a walk along the waterfront.

Mike and Alma are arguing over the present Mike bought Mark. That woman is having about as much luck with Christmases as Ken Barlow has been these last few years. Mike is determined to give the present to Mark and decides he'll play the role of deliveryman, not telling Mark who he is. Alma thinks this plan is doomed to failure.

Des drives along the waterfront and spots a woman in a red coat wheeling a baby. Bit of a blustery cold day but I suppose Tommy won't be the worse off for the fresh air as he's bundled up warmly. Des gets out of the car and crosses the road, hesitating but then runs after Lisa. When she turns and sees him, her face lights up in a smile sure to warm his heart.

The pub is very crowded when Denise arrives. She makes a sarcastic remark to Neil who's there with Angie. Outside, Mike drives up and sees Don go into the pub and calls to him, offering the hand of peace in the spirit of the season. Don warily shakes but his suspicions are realized when Mike actually reveals he wants to borrow the chauffeurs had that Don uses sometimes for special jobs. I have no idea why but Don lends it him.

Back to Blackpool, with the waves crashing up against the seawall, Lisa and Des chat on a bench. Lisa confirms that her marriage is over, and admits she made up an image of Terry in her mind, someone perfect, closing her eyes to what he really was until now. She doesn't want to end up a prison wife 30 years down the road, hating that Terry's inside (the visiting, the loneliness), still, managing better when he's in than when he's out, but probably having to rely on social services to get by. Des pulls a wrapped box out of his pocket that he bought on the chance that he would see her. She is touched beyond words and gives him a kiss. She sits there looking at the unopened box for several minutes, choked up and tells him it's the best present she's ever had.

Bet, resplendent in a scarlet red frilly blouse with a low neckline rings the bell for time, urging the punters out including Reg who is reluctant to go as we know he has nowhere to go. He angles for an invite to the pub ladies' dinner (Bet, Raquel, Rita, Phyllis and Denise) from Raquel but she awkwardly turns him down flat. Not one to give up so easily is our Reg and he tries to bribe his way in with wine and chocolates but Bet just ignores him and calls for the doors to close and glasses to be collected. Raquel comments on the way Bet handled Reg. Bet tells her she just acted as if she were too daft to twig what he was hinting at and Raquel (LINE OF THE DAY ALERT) admiringly comments "I can never think of thinks like that, me!" (hahahahahaha!)

Mike wears Don's hat and carries the large wrapped gift to Maggie's front door. (oh, NO! I have this gut feeling like I'm watching a train about to crash) He turns his back to the door while waiting for the bell to be answered and as he hears the door being opened he turns around. His "Merry Christmas" is cut short when he finds himself cheek to jowl with Ken Barlow! (BOOM!) Who isn't particularly surprised to see him. (BOOM! BOOM!) And tells him he looks ridiculous in that hat and closes the door in his face! (CRASH! BURN! OH THE HUMANITY!) Mike is stunned, gobsmacked, shocked, appalled and flummoxed that Ken Barlow gets to spend Christmas with *his* son and slowly gets back in his car and screeches off down the street in frustration. Inside, Maggy has heard Mike's voice and is relieved that Ken put the boots to him. (I'm breathless! What a scene! Excellent writing, acting and directing though it was short, to the point and understated!)

It's full house at the Platt's with all the family laughing noisily around the table. Audrey nags Alf who is chowing down happily when someone comes to the door. It's Carmel!!! She says she didn't even get on the boat (which confuses me as she left for the ferry two days ago and surely it isn't so far away as that!) Martin nearly swallows his drumstick whole at the sight of her!

The back room of the Rovers is full as well as the ladies quietly provide toasts to absent friends and being very reflective. Rita especially is very sentimental, gleaning admiring looks from the others when she declares she has been very lucky in her life (knowing what she's been through in just this past year, it's quite a statement of strength) She and Bet shakily toast to memories and before they make everyone maudlin, they escape to the kitchen to check on the turkey.

Des, with Lisa in tow, finally arrives back at the hotel room where Curly, in shirt and tie, waits. Des tries to apologize (the Horton's insisted he eat there) But Curly is angry and humiliated that he had to eat his Christmas dinner in a hotel restaurant alone until some strangers took pity on him and dragged him to their table, which was even more humiliating. It was a dirty selfish trick to pull and I totally sympathize with Curly. There's no reason Des couldn't have rang him to let him know or to have him invited to the Horton's too but Des of course, as much as people always Love Des, he's always had that selfish immature side to him. He promises to make it up to Curly tonight. Oh yes, that'll make Curly feel better won't it, going out as the odd man out while Des and Lisa coo over each other?

Carmel tells Gail and Ivy that when she called home to tell them that the ferry would be late, she found out that Michael was going to be there and just couldn't face her family fawning over him and disapproving of her breaking it off with the golden boy so she let the boat leave without her.

The mood has lightened considerably at the Rovers, fueled by Christmas "inspirational" imbibement, as the women are playing charades. It's Raquel's turn and she seems to be miming a whirling dervish with her arms waving madly. She also mimes being sick and poncing with a paper crown on her head. The women are nearly in tears for laughing and guessing and it turns out that the phrase is the title of a movie "Desperately Seeking Susan" with Denise nearly in a heap on the floor by the time they get the answer right! (Don't you love laughing that hard?) Rita wipes the tears from her eyes and thanks Raquel for being daft. It's made her Christmas, when she thought it was going to be one she would dread.

Alma's sulking and Mike is too but he finally tells Alma that Ken was at Maggy's and did she know Ken was involved with her? Alma didn't but doesn't see what the problem is. She thinks Mike is being ridiculous and making too much out of it. But he's burning about Ken having anything to do with his son, almost as much as Ken is burning that yet another of his girlfriends turns out to be Mike's castoff! Mike is sure Ken knows he's Mark's father because he wasn't surprised to see him on the doorstep and he and Alma row some more until he gets so angry that he leaves, slamming the door.

Back at the Platt's Martin's had a chance to have a word with Carmel and wonders what she's playing at? I think that's his favourite saying isn't it? She refuses to see the truth of it and babbles on blindly, wondering if he's missed her because she surely has missed him!

Diane Johnston

Mr. Horton: DICKEN ASHWORTH Mrs. Horton: ANNIE RAITT Auntie Cissie: NELLIE HANHAM
Written by JULIAN ROACH Directed by DAVID RICHARDS

Tuesday (3482, Monday 28 December 1992)

Carmel is giving the Platt kiddies breakfast while they discuss an outing she's promised to take them on - a "magical mystery tour" that's a surprise, but has something to do with t-o-y-s. "Does Martin know?" asks Nicky, who doesn't seem that keen. "Of course he does. Who d'you think's takin' us?" chirps Carmel.

Things still are tense at the Baldwins'. Mike can't figure out why they're arguing this morning. Alma knows - all she's heard all Christmas was "I wish my son were here." Mike denies having said that and Alma points out he didn't have to _say_ it - it's been written all over his face. She reminds Mike she's begged him not to go round to Maggie's and when he did against her wishes, it took him long enough to tell her. Mike ruefully notes that knocking on the door and having Ken Barlow open it "wasn't exactly one of the highlights of my life." What was Ken doing there in the first place? seethes Mike. He doesn't want Barlow anywhere near "my flesh and blood".

Back at the Platts', Surprise Surprise! Martin had no idea he'd been drafted to take the kids anywhere today (particularly as Gail has to work in the cafe) and tells Carmel she had no business telling them he'd take them out without asking him first. Carmel is all apologetic and sweet, saying she'd just got carried away with wanting to give them a treat "what with you all giving me a lovely Christmas when I landed on you the way I did". Gail-In-The-Dark says that Martin is just in one of his moods and that he can't disappoint them now!

Mike comes into the Shop and determines that Deirdre is there alone at the moment. "Is there any truth in the rumour that your ex has found himself a new lady friend?" he asks. "Even if I knew, it's hardly any business of yours," replies Deirdre. "Fine, I'll ask Tracy. She'll tell me. She doesn't have your paranoia," says Mike in an offhand manner. Deirdre tells him not to DARE ask Tracy, and that Ken's private life is his own affair, she reiterates. "Not if he's going out with the mother of my son, it's not." At this comment, Deirdre's face gives it away. "He is seeing Maggie Redmond then," says Mike. "If he's sleeping with her, we both know why, don't we?" "You're disgusting," says Deirdre with disdain, just as Raquel walks in to end the conversation.

Gail fills in Alma on their "typical family Christmas" ("...and in the middle of it all, Ireland's answer to Mary Poppins walks in!" she says.) She asks to see the jewels Mike has surely showered on his bride on their first Christmas together but Alma ruefully tells her that things haven't gone well at all because of Mike's obsession with taking Mark a present. Gail thinks that now that he's taken it that'll be it, but Alma reveals that he didn't get the chance - Ken Barlow opened the door and told him to get lost! Gail naturally wonders what Ken was doing at Mike's ex's place and Alma speculates that maybe she had him round for drinks 'cause he's Mark's teacher. At least, says Gail, maybe Mike won't want to go round there now if Ken's involved. "You're more optimistic than I am," sighs Alma.

Sally is cooing over little Rursie's new snowsuit as Kevin plays with the bebeh. They're planning a day out together, perhaps to the park, when Martin arrives. He hopefully asks if they'd like to accompany his family to the big toy sales in town today. "I thought Gail had to work today?" asks Sally. She does, says Martin in an embarrassedly-casual way, it's just, you know, him and Carmel and the kids. A shadow passes over Sally's face as she says no thanks, they've made other arrangements. When the disappointed Martin leaves Kev asks what all that was about - "other arrangements"? They've got no plans. Sally says tersely that he said Carmel was going and she wants no more to do with her than she has to - and she certainly doesn't want to spend the whole day with her!

Over at Maggie Redmond's, Maggie and Mark scrap over the (in)appropriateness of his scruffy shoes for their day out. Ken smiles as with a teenager's logic Mark points out that "it'll be dark at the panto, and I'll have me feet under the table at the restaurant!" As soon as Mark reluctantly leaves to change his shoes, Ken asks if Maggie has decided what to do about Baldwin. Maggie, apparently in denial, says she doesn't have to do anything. She's got it in writing that he'll stay away until Mark is 18. "Any man who signs away the right to see his own son doesn't deserve children," Ken declares sanctimoniously, before wondering why, if that's so, Mike came 'round recently. Maggie guesses he might've thought that now that Harry is dead things might be different - but she assures Ken that as far as Mark is concerned Harry is his father and that's the way she intends it to stay.

Oho, but who's this who parks on Maggie's street and adjusts his rear-view mirror to watch the house? It's Mike Baldwin, and his eyes narrow as he witnesses Maggie and his old enemy taking *his* son out for a very family-like outing.

In the Rover's, Curly's still depressed about his Christmas holiday and half-heartedly threatens to tell Vera that Des spent Christmas "canoodling with her daughter-in-law" leaving him to spend Christmas with a bunch of drunken nutters. Martin warns him not to let on to Vera - he doesn't care what she thinks, but Lisa does. Vera's still her mother-in-law - unfortunately.

Rita, Denise and Audrey sit in a booth. Audrey has been saying that Gail's not too pleased at how Carmel's installed herself in Chez Platt. Denise warns that she had an au pair like that - in the beginning couldn't do enough, then "she found her feet and the local wine bar and it was another story!" Audrey says that on the contrary, if anything Carmel does too much. [As pre-warming the employer's husband's bed isn't usually on the list of light housekeeping tasks I'd say that's an understatement!] "I mean if a stranger knocked at the door they'd think it was her house!" says Audrey. Just then Reg arrives and all the ladies suddenly have pressing things that just must be done - somewhere else!

As Denise leaves, Jack and Doug begin a conversation about which of them could make time with her. To remove the conversation even further from any semblance of reality, Reg joins in and suggests that he has made overtures towards her which he believes "have not fallen on stony ground". Incredibly, the three of them lay a bet; Jack will make a book and "see who's first past the post". Raquel and Bet have been privy to this whole conversation and now Raquel is agog. "Did you hear that?" she says. "I shall give them a piece of my mind!" "Don't do that, petal," says Bet. "For one thing you can't spare it. For another, I've got a much better idea!"

At a very large and impressive Christmas grotto in the toy store, Carmel walks with her face full of wonder through pretend evergreen trees and snow and reindeer and lights. Outside the grotto giant teddy bears dressed like Beefeaters and Royal Palace Guards are a wondrous sight and Nicky, Sarah Lou and David pose adorably with them. "Aren't they the picture?" sighs Carmel, and as she prepares her camera a sweet elderly couple offer to take the piccie so that Carmel can be in it with them. Carmel urges Martin to join them but he is uncomfortable and reticent. She insists and he embarrassedly joins her so as not to cause a scene in front of their volunteer photographers and the children. "You've a lovely family," says Mrs. Dear Old Thing. "You and your husband must be very proud of them." "We are," beams Carmel, as Martin starts and rolls his eyes. She then tells the kids they can have anything they want up to £5. Martin hisses that she can't afford that and they've gotten enough already! "You've all been so lovely to me," simpers Carmel.

Martin sends Nicky (who's gazing curiously at them) to watch the younger kids and turns to Carmel. It's time for her to end this fantasy of hers, he says. Ignoring what he's said, she accuses him of "not being fair to Gail". "You haven't told her about the other night, have you?" she asks reproachfully. "Of course I haven't!" protests Martin. "I realize it's painful, Martin, but she'll have to know about us sooner or later." "For the last time, Carmel, there is no us! Right? I'm not your 'usband, they're not your kids, there's nothing going on!" Carmel just smiles coyly. "These things are never easy, but the sooner you get it over with the better - " "What do you mean 'these things'?" says Martin. "There are no things! Are you completely barmy or what?" "Only about you, Martin," smiles Carmel sweetly. She goes on to talk about how kind and decent he is - how when she first arrived she cries herself to sleep every night and when she met Martin, everything changed. Martin tries to point out that friendship doesn't equal love, but Carmel insists that there was "a spark lit" as soon as they met.

Nicky has been standing there who-knows-how-long listening to this and now asks impatiently when Martin is coming along. In a minute, he replies absently. He turns back to Carmel and reads her the riot act. "Look, Carmel, I'll give you one last chance. Either you move out of the house first thing tomorrow or I'm going to go to our course tutor and tell him and if that doesn't work I'm going to write your mam and dad and tell them, if need be-" "There's no need, Martin," says Carmel, now looking alarmed. "There's every need, Carmel, if you don't stop this flaming nonsense!" shouts Martin angrily. He walks away from the tearful Carmel and collects the disappointed kids, telling them they're leaving. As he passes the Nanny from Hell, he points a finger at her. "Tomorrow. Right?" She looks after him, shattered and angry, before following sullenly.

Carmel is the topic of conversation at the Cafe as well. "How long have you been complaining about that little Irish cuckoo in the nest?" wonders Alma. "Too long," agrees Gail, saying Carmel has to go. Alma notes that unwanted lodgers are easier to get rid of than long-lost sons. She amends this to note that she means the lad no harm - she's gotten used to the idea that Mike has a son, what bothers her is his obsession with Ken Barlow! Mike strolls in just then to tell Alma not to bother waiting supper - he'll be late. Alma takes the opportunity to apologize if she was in a bad mood this morning. She says she's told Gail about Mark ("Obviously," says Baldwin dryly) and goes on to say that as Mark's mother wants Mike to have no contact and neither does Alma, would Mike agree not to get in touch with the boy for now? "Yeah, okay, point taken, see you later, ciao," says Mike shortly, and leaves! "That was easy," observes Gail. "You know, it's a terrible thing to say about your own husband but why is it I don't believe him?" wonders Alma rhetorically.

Perhaps because Mike has made a beeline straight for Maggie's of course! Sitting in his car in front of the darkened house, he pops in a cassette tape of music to set the mood for his vigil - "Fool If You Think It's Over!"

Back at T'Rovers, Reg coldly refuses Curly's offer of a drink. He's still ticked off at being abandoned by the lads at Christmas. At a table, Reet is apologizing to Dreary, saying "Sorry about this, but there's only so many excuses in a girl's repertoire." The excuse in question seems to be to save her from the company of Reg, who comes back from the bar with a round for the ladies but moves on instead of joining them. (Was a scene cut? Perhaps she told Reg she needed to speak to Dreary alone.)

Curly carries on to chat to Des at the Bar and Raquel inquires if they said 'ello to Lisa when they were in Blackpool. They both try to shush her. "Megamouth!" spits Des, and Raquel realizes Vera is standing at the end of the bar. "There's no cause bein' insulting and for your information Wayne says I've got a lovely mouth," she says, chagrined. If Vee's heard, she doesn't press it then.

Bet makes her way to the table where Rita and Deirdre have been joined by Denise. "I thought you'd like to know, Flower, that three so-called gentlemen of our acquaintance are running a book - on who'll be first to be invited into your boudoir." "Reg Holdsworth," Rita guesses immediately, "and who else?" Jack and Doug, Bet confirms. Raquel wanted to sort 'em out, Bet goes on, "But I told 'er - I reckon Denise 'ere is the kind of girl who can 'andle it!" Denise smiles wickedly. "Oh yes. I think I could be relied upon to give them all a moment they'll never forget."

Ken, Maggie and Mark return from their grand day out. Mike's nearly dozed off but awakens at their approach. He waits as Ken walks Maggie and Mark at the door. Mark is sent inside and Maggie and Ken seal their goodnight with a passionate kiss as Mike watches jealously. Ken's barely in his car when Mike literally runs up the walk and rings the doorbell. Maggie is stunned to see Mike standing on the step with that cheese-eatin' grin of his on his face. She says she thought it was made perfectly clear the other night that Mike was wasting his time. "Yeah, but I wanted to talk to the organ-grinder, not the monkey," grins Ken. Maggie tells him again her response would have been identical to Ken's - they've nothing to say to each other, she told him that a long time ago. "A lot of things have changed since then, Sweetheart. Harry's kicked the bucket for one thing," Mike says crudely. And there's still the matter of the boy - his son. "My son," corrects Maggie. She says Mike gave up his claim on him when he was born. On the contrary Mike says he never gave up his claim on his son - merely promised to keep out of the way until he was 18. That's seven years from now, Maggie points out. Right - he's 11 years old, says Mike, and at that age he needs a father - Mike - and if Maggie's got any thoughts of Barlow filling that role, "let me tell you something. There's only one reason that slimy toad's hanging around, and it's got nothing to do with your pretty face. It's me he's trying to get at. If you weren't my child's mother, he wouldn't look at you twice." Furious, Maggie slaps Mike's face, sending him stumbling down the steps. She quickly slams the door after him and stands, stunned, with her back against it. Outside, Baldwin grimly walks away.

ronniecat

Grandmother: ROSALIE WILLIAMS Grandfather: GRAHAM RIGBY
Written by ADELE ROSE Directed by JUNE HOWSON

Wednesday (3483, Wednesday 30 December 1992)

Early morning, and in the Baldwins' flat, Mike is going over the events of the night before. He can't believe that Maggie slapped his face, but Alma has no sympathy at all, and points out the obvious -- that Maggie doesn't want him back in her life. Mike insists he's not interested in her; he's interested in his son. Alma can't help but wonder why, but provides an answer before Mike can -- his sudden interest in Mark has more to do with the fact that Maggie is dating Ken Barlow. Mike tries to deny this, but Alma is fed-up with the subject and accuses Mike of being obsessed. Given Maggie's behaviour, she tells him flatly "they don't want you."

It's the usual morning mayhem at the Platts' house, and since everyone is on holiday except Gail, the ever-helpful Carmel offers to run her grocery errands as well as take care of the laundry. After Gail leaves for work, Martin takes Carmel into the living room and tells her bluntly that she needs to find another place to live. Carmel tries to avoid the subject by telling him that Sarah-Lou told her she dreamed she was a nurse, but Martin won't be put off, so impatiently reiterates that she has to find a place of her own. He asks her if she'd prefer to go back to the nurses' residence, or would rather have a bed-sit. When she opts for a bed-sit, Martin abruptly leaves.

At the Kabin Denise stocks up on magazines for her clientelle, hoping out loud that she won't be put in the awkward position of having to stop people from stealing them. Martin rushes in and asks for a Gazette, and returning home, opens the paper to the appropriate ads. He invites Carmel to go through them with the telephone nearby and find another place to live -- today, if possible!

Mike arrives at the Cafe and asks for a quiet word with Alma. Meanwhile, Don tells Gail that he and Ivy haven't forgotten about Nicky's birthday (he was born on New Year's Eve), and will be by that night to deliver his gift. At a nearby table, Mike tells Alma that he is not obsessed with Maggie -- all he cares about is his son. Alma reminds him that Maggie doesn't want him in Mark's life at the moment, so "that's that." Mike can't understand Maggie's attitude, but his point in visiting Alma was to tell her that he *is* obsessed -- with her.

Maggie ushers Ken into her home and invites him to sit in the living room. She begins by telling him that after he dropped her off the night before, Mike was waiting outside in his "flash" car. He confronted her and reminded her that he was Mark's father. After a few unkind words about her relationship with Ken, she slapped his face. "Well done!" responds Ken, but Maggie isn't quite so sure. Meanwhile Mark is wondering where his lunch is, so Maggie drops the subject for the moment.

Lunchtime at the Rover's Return, and Bet is asking Denise if any of the men (Jack, Reg and Doug) who were betting on her have made a move. "Not yet" is Denises's response, but seeing Doug enter the pub with Kevin, she swiftly makes her way to a table. Bet purposely asks Doug to deliver Denise's change, and he immediately takes the opportunity to ask her if she'd like to spend New Year's Eve with him. Denise dramatically describes how exhausted she is from her salon opening, not to mention the devastating year she's had in terms of personal relationships. She just isn't in the mood, she confesses, but... the New Year will undoubtedly be better. He could ask her out for January l. Doug quickly agrees to a Friday date, and the first victim has fallen into the web.

Back at Maggie's, she tells Ken that Mike insinuated that Ken was only dating her to get even with him. Ken points out how ridiculous this allegation is, since he didn't learn of Mark's biological father until after he began seeing her. Maggie knows that Mike is married, so can't understand why he won't leave her alone. The situation has her so unnerved that she had a nightmare that Mike kidnapped Mark. It was so real and frightening that she actually got up in the middle of the night to check that Mark was sleeping in his bed. Ken is very upset by these revelations and offers to talk to Mike, but Maggie isn't sure that's a good idea. An unrelenting Ken insists that he's the reason Mike is pestering her, so the least he can do is try to get him out of her life.

At the Corner Shop, Carmel is getting Gail's groceries and complaining to Deirdre about the housing situation. She'd called for an advertised bed-sit, and the woman assured her that it was available, but by the time Carmel took a bus across town, she was told that the room was taken. Deirdre tries to be sympathetic by reminding Carmel that Gail isn't likely to kick her out, especially when she's running errands for her. Don, who has overheard the conversation, asks Carmel if she's looking for a flat, and when she confirms that she is, Don looks thoughtful.

Mavis, Bet and Rita are discussing New Year's resolutions, and while Bet would just like to lose a few pounds, Mavis has resolved to be more patient with people. When Des arrives in the middle of the conversation, Bet teases him by asking if he's resolved to be celibate in the coming year. Given the status of Des' love-life, his only comment is that he's going to try to get his back garden in better order. Mavis quips that she'll believe that when she sees it!

Over at the Baldwins' flat, Mike offers to take Alma out for a meal -- any restaurant of her choice, providing that it's expensive, and he promises there'll be no discussions of Mark. Alma reminds him that it's just possible that Ken may not have known that Mark is Mike's son, but Mike disagrees. His feeling is that Maggie was all the more attractive to Ken because of Mark's parentage.

There's a knock at the Websters' door, and Kevin shows Ken into the living room. After a bit of small talk, Kevin insists that Ken have a drink, and they both agree on a small whiskey. Ken comes straight to the point when he asks for Mike's address.

Carmel is happily surrounded by the Platt kids, while in the kitchen, Gail tells Martin that they can't be too impatient with Carmel since there's not a lot available in flats or bed-sits. Don and Ivy arrive to wish Nicky a happy birthday. Gail carries David upstairs to his bed, and Ivy asks if she can come along to kiss the lad goodnight. Don asks Carmel if she's still looking for a place to live and gives her the address and telephone number for a flat that's now vacant. Carmel leaves to make enquiries, and with the downstairs now to themselves, Don asks Martin if he's told Gail about Carmel's hijinks, but Martin makes it clear that he doesn't even know how to broach the subject. Don tells him that he overheard Carmel telling Deirdre of her problems finding a suitable place, so he gave her a lead, and indeed it seems to have worked because Carmel reports back almost immediately that she telephoned and can view the place on Friday. A relieved Martin offers Don a drink.

Bet asks Denise what she has up her sleeve for "the men" for Friday, the first of January. Denise laughs and tells her that she can't decide, but Bet can be certain it will be something all three men will remember. At that moment, Reg walks into the pub, and Bet asks if Denise would like him steered toward her. Denise nods before finding a table, Bet loudly instructs Jack that Denise wants a wine and soda, and Reg takes the bait and immediately insists on paying for it. Jack advises him that he'll need more than a drink to persuade Denise to go out with him, but Reg confidently insists that he watch "the demonstration." Offering Denise her drink and sliding into the booth opposite her, Reg asks her if she's busy on New Year's Eve. Denise gives him the same story that she gave Doug -- she's shattered from her work, and her love-life has been a catastrophe -- but he could call on January first... unless he has something else on. Unprepared for his inordinate luck at being accepted, Reg blurts out that he "has nothing on," and then laughs at his own faux pas. Behind the bar, Bet observes all this and instructs Jack to tell Denise that there's someone on the phone for her. Jack knows this isn't true, but Bet insists he do as he's told. When Denise responds, Jack apologizes and tells her he was merely following orders -- there really isn't a telephone call for her. Denise expected this, since she'd asked Bet to "save" her, and she bends Jack's ear on how awful it is to be pursued by men she doesn't fancy. An understanding Jack offers to be there anytime she needs someone to talk to, although it would be better if they could be discreet, given his marital status. Denise is so grateful that she offers to meet him on Friday, January l, and Jack jumps at the chance. All three victims are primed for the trap!

Back at the Baldwins' (or should we start calling them the Bickersons?), the doorbell rings, and thinking it will be their taxi, Mike opens the door -- to a very angry Ken. He wants "a word" about last night, and a slanging match ensues. "She doesn't want you near her or her son," Ken yells, making it clear that he's fond of Maggie and doesn't want Mike pestering her. "How are you going to stop me?" Mike defiantly yells back, and undoubtedly a donneybrook would have followed if Alma had not stepped in and asked Ken to leave. Perhaps because Ken used to have feelings for Alma, he goes quietly, but not before telling Mike to "just stay away." Mike retorts that Ken should stay away from *his* son. After Ken is gone, Alma turns to Mike and knows exactly what's going on in his head. "You're going to go by there again, aren't you?" she says in disbelief, and when Mike doesn't respond, she screams "you ARE obsessed." She slams her way out of the room, giving us to believe that dinner is off.

Heather Morlan

Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by JUNE HOWSON

Thursday (3484, Friday 1 January 1993)

Denise flirts with Reg under a rainy sky this morning, sweet talking him into starting their date early because she just can't wait until 8. Come to her flat at 5, she purrs and exaggerates her wiggle as she walks away from him. Reg rubber necks like a jack in the box watching her go. FWOAR!!!!

Jack fusses in the mirror in the pub back room, wondering should he get his haircut and anxiously reminding Bet that it's his night off. Bet takes great delight in raking him over the coals for taking advantage so soon in a new year and teasing him about his desirability until she realizes that Liz isn't taking part and is becoming more and more upset. She gets rid of Jack and tries to find out what's bothering Liz. Liz of course, is mourning her lost baby Katie, it's been a year since . . . Bet realizes and understands fully how anniversaries of such things are distressing and offers her the day off but Liz prefers to work and keep busy seeing as Jim appears to have forgotten the day. But he has remembered. He and Andy are seen later in the bar wondering if it's better to say anything to Liz or leave her alone. They decide if she's not said anything, neither will they.

Des makes a surprise visit to Lisa at home in Blackpool. Lisa and Des make cow eyes and smile shyly at each other. There's an obvious breathlessness in their words and a sparkle in their eye.

In the pub at dinnertime, Denise turns the charm on Jack and lures him into her web for 5 o'clock. You can see where this is going can't you? She turns away and then when Doug comes in she turns it on for him as well. Same bait, promising him a New Year's Day he'll never forget. He bites.

Martin is taking Carmel to see the flat that the mate of Don's is holding. He's determined that Carmel will be taking this flat come hell or high water though is dismayed when Gail admits that though she too wants her house back, has told Carmel that she can stay if it isn't suitable. Martin whines for Gail to come with them but Gail just thinks he's being daft and Martin follows Carmel out the door, dragging his heels.

Mike and Alma. What Maggy wants. What Mike wants. My son, my son, my son. . . My Kingdom for my son! Mike is going to tell Mark the truth. Alma sighs. (Obligatory contractual appearance for the week I expect as the rest of the show has absolutely nothing to do with it. Get on with it will yer?)

Back in the pub, Vera has noticed that Jack is behaving oddly. Raquel doesn't see the difference to any other day. Vera notes that Jack is going to the Legion later and went home early to take a bath which in itself is unusual, she tells Bet. (Not the bath I don't think, but it isn't Saturday night after all and it's the middle of the day) Bet tells Vera that the girls are going to have a drink after closing then go to a party and when Vera conveniently invites herself, Bet nearly squeals in delight in anticipation. (Wait for it.. can you figure out yet where the party is?) Liz isn't going with them however, she has something else to do.

Which is taking flowers to little Katherine's grave. The trimmed stalks of a (rosebush?) partially hides the heartbreaking born/died dates, both January 1992.

Martin and Carmel inspect a dreary but decent enough looking flat. They are in the bedroom (it's already furnished, conveniently for this scene) when Carmel starts spouting more nonsense about it being a place for "us" where they can be together. Martin is horrified as Carmel continues about understanding that he feels guilty about Gail but really, she has to know sometime and how Carmel is really the best one for Martin. It doesn't matter how much Martin protests. Carmel starts taking her hair out of it's ponytail and coming in closer, inviting Martin to bed. He holds her back asking her to leave it off several times but she gloms on to him so he blows his stack and shoves her cruelly away where she spins and lands on the bed, looking up at him with anger and disappointment.

Reg arrives at Denise's. in the vestibule she lingers in a corner. Her makeup is dramatic, her clothes are filmy and black and her hair is tousled. She artfully dodges him and his flowers, inviting him to the inner sanctum where Bet, Raquel and Vera are waiting with broad smiles on their faces and poor Doug is sunk into the settee, red faced, clutching a chocolate box and highly embarrassed, wishing the floor would open up and swallow him whole! Denise makes out like she's just delighted that everyone is making her flat warming such a success and oh how friendly everyone is. The door buzzer rings and oh! Who could that be!? I wonder! Out she goes and lets Jack upstairs. She eggs him on by describing a fantasy. She'll go inside and he can take off all his clothes and run in when she calls him. Jack insists he's not too shy to be taken advantage off but before he can get his buttons undone, she decides they should get to know each other better first and leads him inside to the party. Jack nearly has a heart attack when he sees Vera who's quite surprised to see him too. But where I was hoping for a classic Vera moment, where she chases Jack back down the stairs flinging the ale cans that he's brought at his head, she only meekly accepts his hasty excuse of being there to fix Denise's telly. (when he wouldn't know the picture tube from the electrical plug!) So there's no bloodshed after all. I suppose because the women having more fun this way and the men not wanting to admit they've been taken in. The men all avoid each other's eyes and it would appear that the bet is lost.

Martin bursts through the door and runs right upstairs to get Carmel's things and a case to throw them in. I have no idea if he drove Carmel back with him or left her to take the bus as it seems to be ages before she finally comes in. Long enough for the next bit to happen at least. Convenient timing. Gail realizes Martin is really seeing red and asks him what's wrong. He starts ranting about Carmel and spits out the reason, that Carmel tried to get him into bed and that he's been fending her off for weeks. He's none too quiet about it so I have no idea why Gail finally picked that moment to tell Nicky and Sarah Lou to go upstairs when they've already heard the worst anyway! Martin says he had hoped to handle it himself but she won't be told. Carmel finally comes in and rightly realizes Gail now knows but of course she thinks Martin's told Gail that they're in love and want to be together. Gail is astonished and Martin yells with renewed vigor. You would think it would be overacting as he's prone to that but in this case I don't think it really is, overacting nor over reacting. This really is a man at the end of his rope. When Carmel accuses Gail of being too old for Martin and taking advantage of Martin, she blows too and throws Carmel bodily out of the house. Martin clasps a shaking Gail to him and whispers that it's over now (wanna bet???) and tells an off-screen Nicky that Carmel is gone and won't be coming back. (wanna bet???)

Jim finally takes Liz aside in the pub and when he realizes she thinks he forgot that it was Katie's birthday and anniversary of her death, he hugs her close and reassures her that he didn't forget but he didn't clue in that she'd be at the cemetary either (git!). they realize that the lines of communication got crossed and comfort each other.

Reg and Doug discuss Denise's shenanigans. Denise arrives and puts them straight about betting on a certainty of which she is not! Jack avoids Denise's eye contact. Vera decides that hairdresser probably fancies Jack though she can't see why and proceeds to contradict herself by cozying up to Jack and suggesting an early night. Why waste that bath! Jack looks chagrinned. Bet thanks Denise for the entertainment. She's never seen fellas look more flummoxed or more frightened. Denise admits she nearly showed Bet a side of Jack she's never seen, at least she hopes not. (Ah but Bet has!!)

Des has spent the day with Lisa and is now ready to leave but suggests they take a walk along the pier first. They leave Jeff and Doreen to speculate what is going on. Doreen hasn't a clue as Lisa hasn't said anything but seems to like that Lisa is happy at least. Jeff is dubious and doesn't approve due to how Lisa is fixed which surprises me as he hates Terry and what Terry's done and you'd think he would welcome a reason for Lisa to get shed of him even if Des is only a moderately better choice. Less violent at least. Outside in the rain (in a bus shelter or something, it looks like) Des and Lisa are kissing. Des tells her that he's going to hurry his divorce along and urges Lisa to do the same. He loves her and wants them to be together and asks her to come home with him!

Diane Johnston

Doreen Horton: ANNIE RAITT Jeff Horton: DICKEN ASHWORTH
Written by JOHN STEVENSON Directed by JUNE HOWSON

Friday (3485, Monday 4 January 1993)

Gail is a bit shell-shocked this morning. At the breakfast table she tells Martin she still can't believe Carmel's brazen behaviour of the day before. The kids sense that something is afoot and Nicky asks if Carmel will be coming back. His mother is quick to answer in the negative. Martin, who is filled with relief that she's gone, urges Gail to put it out of her mind, it's all over now. But Carmel's words are still haunting her: "I love Martin and he loves me!" She tentatively wonders if Martin did anything to encourage the girl - inadvertently? With a frustrated sigh, he affirms that he was nice to her, he tried to make her feel at home because he knew she was lonely. But as far as any romantic notions, it's his conviction that she "fell" not so much for him, as for "the idea of having a family".

The Baldwins are having breakfast too, though it looks as if Alma's about to suffer some indigestion. She tells Mike she's planning a day of shopping, while he intends to go into work to do the books. As she gets up to clear, he announces he's been thinking about who he'll leave the business to one day. Alma makes it clear that she doesn't want to know - it's no concern of hers who he leaves his business to! She goes on to say that if he intends to go on barging in where he isn't wanted, (Mark and Maggy's lives) having the door slammed in his face by Ken Barlow, then coming back home to drown his sorrows in half a bottle of Scotch, that is up to him. It may be his idea of a "good time" but it certainly is *not* hers!

Alf arrives on the Street this morning to find a tangled mess of traffic and nowhere to park. When he finally manages to get a space in front of the shop, after circling the block three times, he complains to Audreh and Deirdre about all the excess traffic. Audreh has little sympathy, she's only glad he's arrived so she can use the car to go shopping. Alf protests that he'll lose his hard-won space but she dismisses him with a laugh. "What would you have me do, Alf? Leave the car and walk just so you don't lose your space?" That's exactly what he'd like her to do but does she listen? No, not Audreh - off she goes, leaving him to vent to Deirdre.

Never mind, says Alf. There is a solution and he's about to employ it. Off he goes into the back room, reappearing moments later with a freshly painted sign: 'Parking for Shop Customers Only'. As he goes out to place it by the curb, he finds Vera pulling into the allotted parking space. He shows her the sign and she breezily answers that she *is* a customer! "That's all right then", returns Alf. But his smile fades as she crosses the road to go into the Kabin. Turning around to gloat, she calls, "It doesn't say *which* shop, does it?"

Vera has come in to the Kabin to buy some stationary, to write to "R Turry", as she does every week. It's the highlight of his confinement, receiving letters from home, she explains with a smile to Rita and Mavis. Mavis reflects that Terry is "resilient" enough to live the prison life without letting it get him down. "What do yer mean?" demands Vera. "Are you saying he's suited to it?" Despite Rita's attempts to send her assistant on her lunch break to divert any argument, Mavis persists in trying to explain herself. "No, I only meant he isn't as sensitive as some", she says. "You mean he's thick?" asks Vera with rising indignation. Having succeeded in rankling Vera, Mavis decides now to take her leave, offering her "regards" to Terry as she goes. Vera turns to Rita in disgust, "Yeah - that would make his day - 'regards' from her that thinks he's a born criminal and prison's the best place for him!"

Des has made his way to Blackpool again to see Lisa. Before he arrives, her father conducts an inquisition about the visit, intimating that Des must be more than a casual friend to visit as often as he does. Lisa becomes defensive at the inference that she is making another mistake, insisting that Des is different. Her father maintains he will not "stand by" as he did with Terry and insults her by saying at this rate she'll have "a right houseful" by the time she is 30!

On his arrival, Lisa's father greets Des coolly. Though Des tries to break the ice, Jeff insists on giving him a hard time. Lisa's mother does her best to make him feel welcome but she is frustrated by her husband's deliberate stand-offishness. When she offers to keep Tommy so as to give Lisa and Des time alone, Jeff decides to go to the club, leaving her embarrassed by his abruptness. "I don't know what's got into him", she offers meekly.

Back in Weatherfield, the Rovers is humming with activity. Raquel proudly shows a football program featuring an interview with "her" Wayne to Jack and Don. Jack notes the salient points of the piece, which concerns Wayne's favourite things (food, vacation spots, etc.) and stops to mention to Raquel the curiosity of his "favourite name for a girl being Samantha"! Apparently not having read that far, she tears the brochure from Jack with chagrin. "Well, you did give it us", he offers innocently. As Raquel storms off into the back (no doubt to phone Wayne!) Don grins at Jack and calls him "evil" for his little prank. They are joined by Bet who has just taken a call from Vicky. Turns out she'll be coming up this evening from Southampton and Bet arranges for Don to take her to the station to meet her train later.

Sally pays Gail a visit and learns of Carmel's sudden departure. She reckons she can now tell Gail the truth, about the lodger trying to infer that Gail and Martin were experiencing difficulties in their marriage. None too surprised at this stage, Gail reflects that she still can't believe they were all so taken in by the girl. With irony, she adds that she would have trusted her with her -- with her *husband*!

As they walk along the shore of the beach, Des and Lisa talk about their future. She points out the awkwardness of moving in with him, being just across from her in-laws. Des assures her that he'll sell up as quickly as possible so they can move away. She is startled by his the urgency of his commitment to their being together, but points out that it still might take months to sell. "You could come back with me tonight if you want to!" he offers. But Lisa thinks for the time being they are better going on as they have been, with him coming down to see her as he can.

Deirdre is still trying to get through to her daughter, to get her to understand that Mark does not "need" to know who his real father is. Tracy points out that her friend, Sarah Mason, thinks it's a child's "right" to know their real parents. Deirdre takes a stab at talking about parents' "rights" but Tracy remains unimpressed.

After dinner, Gail is still ruminating on the question of Carmel. Growing tired of the subject and a tad defensive, Martin once again assures her that until the point of her shocking revelations, he didn't sense anything amiss with Carmel. He reiterates that he wanted her gone so they could have time and space to themselves. Gail resigns herself to accepting this as the truth and a relieved Martin takes the kids out for a video promising some "together time" later on in case Gail needs further convincing.

At the conclusion of their meal, Mike and Alma are each quietly absorbed in their own thoughts. Finally, Alma's curiosity gets the better of her and she breaks the silence by asking him what happened when he went to Maggy's today. Mike plays dumb for a minute before surprising her with the admission that he didn't go. He drove past but in the end, decided she was right - he should "let the dust settle". If there's one consistency in their relationship, it is Mike's knack for keeping her off balance. Taken aback on hearing that he thought better of his plan, she is more incredulous that he acted on *her* advice!

In the Rovers again, Raquel takes Jack aside to inform him that she asked Wayne about his interview. It was apparently given back at the beginning of the season, before he even met her! "If he were asked today, he would say his favourite girl's name is 'Raquel'!" she announces in triumph. Unable to resist goading her further, Jack points out that County (Wayne's team) went down 3-1 their last game. "Oh well," answers Raquel with confidence, "you can't blame my Wayne for that - he was substituted after the first 15 minutes!" (LOL)

Back from the station, Bet and Vicky come through the bar on their way into the back. As they breeze through, there are general greetings from the staff and customers and though Vicky takes note of Steve standing at the bar with Andy, she pointedly ignores him. Once in the parlour, Bet tells her she is glad to see her. Vicky is quick to give her assurance that she didn't want Bet to think she was taking sides when she went to spend Christmas with Alec and Bet is relieved to hear it. She asks how he is, and Vicky answers that he's fine and he sends his love. Bet isn't sure she believes *that* but says they'll have a good chat when Vicky's had a chance to unpack. As she goes up the stairs, Vicky casts Bet a forced smile. There's something on her mind but she doesn't think Bet is ready to hear it!

Having returned from their walk, Lisa and Des are subjected to more grilling from her father. He points out that they are both still married, and as such, he will not suffer Lisa to "take up with every married man who's nice to her" as long as she is under *his* roof! Des objects to the remark as being "unfair and uncalled for", but Jeff Horton tells him he doesn't really care what he thinks! As Lisa escorts Des to the door, they say their goodbyes against the strains of her parents' arguing in the next room. Des repeats his offer to take her and Tommy back to Weatherfield with him tonight. She looks more apt to accept at this point but says she couldn't just walk out as it wouldn't be fair to her mother. Just the same, she doesn't know how much more of her father she can take, so she urges Des to call her tomorrow and he promises to return for her when she is ready.

Anita Bélanger

Jeff Horton: DICKEN ASHWORTH Doreen Horton: ANNIE RAITT
Written by PETER WHALLEY Directed by CHARLES LAUDER



Written by Diane Johnston, Anita Belanger, Lori Berger Hegyi, ronniecat and Heather Morlan

 

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