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2010 - February 8 and 15
(double weekly update rolled into one)
And to be honest most of the last two weeks has been
dominated by events involving Joe and Gail. As we know Joe is
deep in debt and he has decided to return to the Lake District
with Gail and the now restored boat named Gail Force, although
the way the latter is painted it looks like Gail Farce. Joe is
keen to get out on the lake and they stay at the same cabin as
they did on their brief honeymoon. Once there he even manages
to get Gail to sail away with him, although we all know how
scared she is of the combination of nutters and water. Joe then
decides to let Gail in on his plan. He is going to "disappear"
by faking his death in the same way as the man who disappeared
in canoe or for my older readers "a la John Stonehouse"
(remember him - he did eventually marry Sheila Buckley).
Anyway Joe plans to appear to die whilst sailing and lie low
in Ireland for some years and then when it is safe he will
re-appear or Gail can join him.
Needless to say Gail is not
enamoured with this plan and tries to dissuade him but he sets
sail late one night to set his plan in motion. Things do not
go well as he hurts himself and the trailing dinghy - his
means of escape - drifts away. He can hardly move and having
lost control of the boat the main boom swings across knocking
him into the water. He recovers and manages to catch onto the
main boat but does not have sufficient strength to haul
himself back on board. He gets weaker and slowly loses his
grip, eventually descending into the deep dark waters,
although his mobile, as a result of an earlier argument is
still on the boat.
Back on the Street the other main
story revolves around Peter who has discovered that the odd
drink or six is the best medicine. At the hard hat party to
launch the "Joinery" the new bar at the end of the Street he
decides that he deserves the odd glass of champagne and Ken
having stayed away almost all evening decides that he perhaps
should support his son in his new endeavour arrives in time to
congratulate him on staying sober and launching the new
business. At which point Peter decides on another glass or two
and within minutes is the drunk in charge of the bar. He falls
over and glasses crash to the ground and most of the guests
depart realising that this is not a safe place to be. Ciaran
(did I mention he was back and has already tried to chat up
Carla and Michelle amongst others - no I must be slipping)
tries to extricate Peter but the damage is done.
Leanne
is beside herself (and to be honest that girl ought to eat something
- there really is a case study in being underweight) at the fall
from grace and as Peter continues to drink at every opportunity over
the next few days, things go from bad to worse. Simon is taken in by
the "new" grandparents and Peter goes round several times to try to
recover him but fails. He then appears to sober up and yet the odd
bottle of vodka, whisky or can of ale always appear to be around. He
is tricked into going to Number 1 where the family (apart from
Blanche who has yet to be able to get back from her long stay in
Portugal due to a series of unfortunate events) turn on Peter and
convince him that a trip to rehab is the solution. His answer is
"No, No, No I ain't going to rehab" [yep he has turned into Amy
Whitehouse whose aunt Mary must be saddened by the way the family
has turned out]. He tries again to see Simon and Peter once cornered
accepts the inevitable. Last time he came out of rehab he found a
mystery woman and went sailing with her which saw Leanne off for
about 6 months.
Gail thinks that Joe has been successful with
his plan and fails to phone the police but instead summons David to
the Lakes. They see the boat drifting and David steals a little
motor dinghy and goes out into the lake and brings back the boat. He
then explains to Gail that if they are going back to the Street
without Joe she cannot tell the truth and she must have a good story
to tell. So he spends hours coaching her in telling a few lies. To
be entirely honest she is completely useless and when the police
turn up looking for the missing motor dinghy her story is so full of
holes I would have arrested her for simply existing (although I am
not sure what the offence was). It does not bode well if
she
ever gets properly cross examined.
Anyway Gail and David head
back to the Street - David of course can drive but given the Joe
hired the car I suspect he is not insured to drive it so at least
one more law was broken.
At some point once Peter has gone
Carla and Leanne are walking along the Street and cross the path of
Nick Platt going in the other direction. This enables us all to be
reminded that in January 1998 (yes I did have to look it up) they
ran away to Scotland to get married. Nick - who appears to have some
financial problems - his flat in Northampton has vanished and so I
suspect has his business - approached Carla and makes her an offer
for the factory. She refers to her partner and tells him to get
lost, although he later establishes Tony's current
location.
Nick is in the house when Gail and David arrive
home and Gail (who does not believe that Joe actually meant to carry
out his plan) hearing someone upstairs shouts up for Joe. When Nick
appears she is surprised. Nick wants to know what is going on and
Gail's ability to lie gets worse as she can hardly string two words
together, let alone stick to the cock and bull story that she and
David created. A little later Tina wants to know what her father is
doing and this time we get to understand that he met a man in a pub
who needed a kitchen fitter to fit a new kitchen in an old folks
home and Joe is working 24 hours a day (which is why he cannot
answer his mobile) to earn the cash. The local loan shark fails to
believe the story either and warns that he wants his money on
Friday.Nick simply fails to believe the story and departs
again.
Elsewhere and not on the Street poor Sunita and Dev
are in terrible trouble. Apparently Sunita's parents have not told
the "aunts" Upma and Grishma that she has been divorced and they are
coming for a visit. Not only that but they turn up early and refuse
to depart. Dev is sleeping on an airbed next to Sunita's bed as the two seek to
pretend that they are still married and admit that they are
considering having more children. And it looks like they get away
with it even when one of the twins says how nice it is for Dev to be
around. Dev almost gives the game away several times, but so far it
looks as though the aunts believe that the marriage is still on. And
what a treat for male viewers that Sunita is back on the
screen.
And finally Jason and Tina. Jason has pushed the
button on getting a divorce from Sarah and shows the papers to Tina.
And cooks her a meal and at the end of it he proposes to her - with
immediate acceptance.
Sorry it is perhaps a little
compressed. Glenda, who will be surprised to find out that one of my
Christmas presents was "Coronation Street - The Complete Saga" which
includes a number of chapters by her goodself, should be back next
week and the normal (superb) service we all enjoy will be
restored.
And I hope I will be invited back to update towers
in the not too distant future.
Good night.
--
Written by K Richard
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