Big
story of the week
is Norris and his
bunion. He’s in agony
and can barely step across the Kabin without
mincing. Brother Ramsay
buys him some bunion-relieving comfortable shoes but
knows Norris won’t
accept them if he knows Ramsay has bought them so Rita gives them to
Norris and
pretends they’re from her. Norris is in
his element, he can mince without pain and
fairly skips across the cobbles in his new pain-relief shoes. That
is until he finds out the shoes are from Ramsay and then he refuses
to wear them which is typical Norris, cutting of
his nose to spite his face. Or in this case, cutting off the shoes to spite his
feet. Anyway, with
Ramsay out of the house cheering up Emily on a jolly to the shops,
Norris can’t
resist the shoes and slips them on again, hiding his feet under a
blanket on the sofa and pretending he’s asleep with Emily returns
home. Ooh, he’s
naughty,
that Norris.
Over at the
Barlows’ there’s a new breakfast cereal on
their table: Nutty Flakes – which sums the Barlows right up. Peter’s got an
open AA meeting at the Rita Tushingham
Community Centre and so with nothing better to do because he’s
retired (Ken), she’s nosy (Blanche) and she’s just been sacked from
her job at the Council and told to reapply
for her own job
(Deirdre) the Barlows accompany Peter to
his meeting. And that’s
when it all starts to go horribly
wrong. I was laughing
so long and loud at these scenes that I couldn’t take notes, it was
brilliant stuff. Basically,
Blanche started making her mouth go about the alcoholics in the room
who were bearing their souls and their secrets, telling them that a
spot of Bingo would sort them all
out. And when Ken
told Blanche to belt up, she ripped into him, joined in by
Deirdre. “Is it any
wonder I drink?” sighed Peter to the room.
“I can’t take any more, I’m going
for a drink!”
yelled Deirdre as she walked out for a
fag. Nutty Flakes, the lot of ‘em.
In the
corner shop, Dev’s
not happy with Uncle Umed’s sales
techniques and tells him he doesn’t want him ripping off the
customers any more. Mind you, I’d
buy a chocolate fireguard off Umed if he
gave me the line he gave Sally Webster in the shop when she popped
in for some beans:
“You have the mind of a philosopher and the face of an
angel. That’ll be 43p
please.”
Jack finds out
this week that Connie’s worth a
mint. He’s
suspicious when Connie won’t take him home and thinks there’s summat up. And when Scarlett his best pigeon goes missing again, he
thinks she might have made her way to Connie’s house
for a second time
and demands to visit Connie’s house. Connie sighs
and knows she’s beat. She didn’t
want Jack to see her house until she was ready but it’s been
forced and so off
they go. Hand in hand,
Connie leads Jack to her house. It’s got an
electric gate, conservatory, huge garden,
a bar, billiards room and jacuzzi. Jack doesn’t
quite know what to make of it and wonders why Connie’s kept it
quiet. She’s a
working woman, she
says, it’s all a bit much for her and she
asks Jack if he’d like to spend time with her there, he nods his
head and agrees when Scarlett the missing
pigeon turns up in Connie’s shrubs.
Slug’s been
slithering all over Becky this week after he turns up in the Rovers
and tells her he still loves her. He tries to
put something in Becky’s bag when she’s out of the room but he’s
thwarted. And if you
thought Slug was slimy, he’s not half as full of mucus as DC Hooch
who has set Slug up to get close to Becky to plant drugs on
her. But it seems
that Slug really cares for Becky and
refuses to do Hooch’s bidding this time.
Claire
collapses this week and she’s rushed to th’ospickle where she’s had a miscarriage with a
baby she didn’t know she was pregnant with and suffers a clot when
Ashley visits. It’s all so
dull this storyline, Claire is the dullest
person in the world of soap. She isn’t in it
for months and
then when she is, they give her a high-profile medical emergency,
she moans, Ashley cries and it’s quiet for months until
it happens again. Too dull for
words.
Over at the
Connor house, Barry
and Helen arrive from Ireland to visit baby
Liam. In the
parlance of the day, it’s doing Maria’s head
in. She spends
more time with
Tony and registers baby Liam’s birth without the baby’s grandparents
which upsets them a lot. Helen then has
a go at Maria for letting Ozzy sit so close to the baby and bless
him, I swear Ozzy acted in this scene when
Helen dissed the dog. Helen even goes so
far as calling her daughter-in-law a tart while Barry tries to keep
the peace between his missus and Maria. Baby Liam
sleeps on, guarded by Ozzy.
And finally
this week, Sean heads back to the gym and sits in the jacuzzi for three days waiting for
Leon to turn up.
Finally he does but he’s not interested in Sean, turning down Sean’s
request to go for a
drink. “I’m on Facebook!” screams Sean in desperation
for
Leon to get in
touch, “And Twitter! And Gaydar!” Poor Sean, he’s
wearing that aftershave again, the one that reeks of Eau De Speration.
And that’s just
about that for this
week
Coronation Street
writers this week were Lucy Gannon, Julie Jones and Jonathan
Harvey.
Glenda--Blogging away
merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com