The big
story this week is
Steve and Becky’s wedding. From Anna and
Hayley shaking their cardigan-clad booty to Gilbert O’Sullivan’s
‘Matrimony’ at Becky’s sober hen-do through to Steve shaking his
beer belly on the morning of the
wedding, it’s been a jiggle of a wedding and one that ended in
tears. At the hen-do,
Becky asks Betty for some
words of marital
advice to which Betty gave this priceless little gem: “Always fill
the kettle before you go to bed
in case the water goes off in the morning.”
Anyway, Liz
legged it back from
Spain as Spanish
Barbie and then flounced around in a flamenco frock having a
mid-life crisis before dumping Lloyd. Then the father of the groom,
big Jim from norn
iron turned up with Andy in tow bringing the whole McDonald clan
back together again. And so far, no-one’s hit anyone
else. So the bride and groom got to the registrar office,
sober, and the fella at the front
pronounces them man and wife. I thought it
was ‘husband and wife’ these days rather than ‘man and his
possession’, and why can’t couples be pronounced wife and husband
instead? And yes, I am on my feminist soap soapbox
again. Anyway, the wedding’s done,
but Becky wants confirmation. “Are you
sure?” she asks the registrar before snogging the face off
her newly betrothed.
Th’appy couple then wend their way to the Rovers where
there’s balloons and feathers to match Becky’s frock, the
champagne’s cracked open and the pies are under a low light. And
that’s when it all goes horribly
wrong. Hooch pays
Slug to put drugs in Becky’s handbag earlier that day and although
Betty spots Slug slithering out of the Rovers, she doesn’t recognise
Slug or wonder what
he’s been up to in the pub so early in the day, she just assumes
he’s a punter in need of a pint and tells him the pub’s shut
for a private
do. But at the
wedding reception the cops arrive, search everyone, including
Betty’s stash of angina and cholesterol pills
before they find the
drugs and take Becky to the cop shop where DC
Hooch
licks his lips
with glee that he’s finally nabbed Becky.
No-one believes
Becky’s innocence, not even Steve at first and Liz has some evil
words
for her new
daughter-in-law: “You’re a dirty, disgusting, drug-dealing tramp!”
Steve comes round to believing Becky and then tries
to bribe Hooch, giving him two grand in cash. “Every village needs
an idiot,” says Hooch as he drives away with Steve’s cash in his
hand, leaving Steve on the pavement looking somewhat
glum. As the ITV
continuity woman said: “Oh, Steve, what’ve you gone and done
now?”
Elsewhere this
week, Tony and Maria went public on their lurve thang and the
nation’s stomach heaved. Michelle finds
them snogging by the sofa and gets
straight on the phone to Ireland to tell Mammy
Connor to take a deep
breath and do ten Hail Mary’s ‘cos her
suspicions were right all along about Maria and the dark fella with the dodgy
eye.
Other news in a
week dominated by the McDonald-Granger bash is that
Norris sacks
Ramsay from the Kabin after he smashes his best
cup. Even though
Ramsay buys his brother another mug, it doesn’t meet with
Norris’
approval. “What about
its memories?” he
asks. Indeed, tea
will never taste the same, not in a new
cup. Ramsay doesn’t
care about the sacking or the mug, he’s
planning his return to Australia, news which
fair dampens Emily’s mood.
And Molly and
Tyrone return from their jollies this
week. Molly’s back
with a tan under her strapless top and goes straight into doing the
laundry and mashing potatoes for Tyrone’s
tea. No wonder the
girl thinks Kev Webster’s a catch when her
life’s so dreary and dull.
Kev does his best to escape Molly’s clutches and tells Sally
he thinks they should go house hunting in the posh part of
town. By ‘eck.
I’m off now to
fill up our kettle, just in case.
And that’s just
about that for this
week.
Coronation
Street writers this week were Carmel Morgan, Joe
Turner and David
Lane.
Glenda,
Blogging away
merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com