Weekly Coronation Street updates

Dec 7, 2009

Right, I've written me cards, the tree's up, the tinsel's twinkling and the turkey's been ordered. It's time to crack open the sweet mince pies. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.

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Cast your mind back to last week as we left the Rovers Return in a state of disarray. The Vicars and Liz party was in full swing with Graseme in full drag as Mrs Mutton McDonald. He even goes into the ladies' loo, enjoying himself in his new frock and pouting his lips in the mirror. Meanwhile, Liz is fuming behind the bar and she steals into Lloyd's flat to get her revenge by putting his Northern Soul records in the oven to melt. Poor Lloyd, it's not even his fault, he still loves his Liz, it's that Teresa woman that's caused all this bother. And as Lloyd tries to apologise to Liz, he somehow ends up down on his knees on the cobbles in front of Ma Morton who accepts the marriage proposal that Lloyd didn't even know that he'd given. Men, eh? They always say that.

Across the Street, John Stape's arrested after Rosie cries wolf and says John attacked her. He's carted off to the cop shop where they know him so well in there by now I wouldn't be surprised if he gets an invitation to the coppers' Christmas party. As opposed to the Croppers' Christmas party, to which he might get an invite, but that's more likely to be an evening of festive Scrabble and Radio 4. Anyway, when he's released, John makes a stand in the Rovers and cross questions Rosie as to the how, where, why and when he attacked her. The jury leaned in close to the bar, all ears turned to Barrister Stape who put forward a clear cut case for his innocence, m'lud. Rosie crumbles and does that weird thing with her mouth, Sally's humiliated and Kevin's too busy ogling Molly's cleavage to care. But for once, Corrie fans up and down the country cheered on John Stape as Rosie Webster finally got what for. Not that it'll stop her from doing it again.

You know it's getting near Christmas when families get together for some festive fun. It's just like that at the Barlows' but instead of having fun they fight. It's the war of the Granddads Round 1 as Ken takes on George and you can probably guess who will win. Ken starts work as Santa to earn money to buy little Simon some paper planes and wooden trinkets for Christmas. And he's good with the old "Ho, Ho, Ho" is Ken, although it's probably best for him not to say that when Leanne's in the room.

Meanwhile, in the blue corner, Granddad George not only ingratiates himself with Peter and Leanne by bankrolling their new bar venture, but he also promises little Simon mega-gadgets and bumper-bling in his Christmas sock. No old tat from Grandad George, no, he's loaded, he is, and likes to splash the cash. He's got a huge house too. So George takes little Simon to see Santa in store, not realising it's Ken behind the beard and wig. Simon's confused when Santa starts telling him that Christmas is not all about presents and how much you get people to give you (it isn't? oh). No, it's all about paper planes and wooden trinkets, Ken/Santa says, so George has a dig and Santa and George come to blows. The store manager comes over and throws Ken out, warning him never to return and we see a forlorn Ken in his Santa outfit, feeling very sheepish and sorry for his elf. Ken's also taken against George for offering Peter the money for the bar. "For every bit of help that George gives you, I will give you ten times the hindrance. You will not open that bar!" he hisses at Peter, who couldn't care less. I like this Ken/George animosity, it's like having Baldwin back.

Meanwhile, there's a dull, dull, dull story going on around the golf course as Dev and Steve take up golfing again and Dev's fallen in lust with Bernie the golf coach who doesn't drink wine. It's all a ploy for Dev and Sunita to get back again, through a contact at the golf club. But that'll all come out in the wash next week. Be patient, and let's hope it's worth it.

Claire and Becky decide to do a panto in the Rovers, which is great news. They look back through some old photos of pantos past and Betty reminisces, which is always nice. The panto's to be Cinderella, written and directed by John Stape. But who will play the lead roles of Prince Charming and Cinderella? I predict more fights.

And finally this week, Gary Windass decides to join the Army, it's a decision which leaves his mum Anna in tears.

And that's just about that for this week.

Coronation Street writers this week were John Kerr, Martin Allen, Mark Burt, Chris Fewtrell and David Lane.

Glenda Young

Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com

I've wrapped, packed and warmed up me liberty bodice before heading up north this weekend for Christmas. While I'm away the lovely Karen Jankel will be writing the weekly updates for the next two weeks so spare a thought for Karen, locked here in the weekly update office as you're all tucking into your turkey and sprouts. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.

Deirdre doesn't know which way to turn when she's caught in the battle of the Barlows as Ken goes head to head with Peter over him opening the bar. Ken meets with a hack from the Gazette who splashes Bar Wars all over the front page, dragging in the Barlow top 10 misdemeanours for good measure too. Adultery, jail, murder and John Lindsay - the Barlow history's laid bare all over tomorrow's hamster cage lining. Ken even calls a public meeting in the Rovers to garner support against Peter's new bar but he shoots himself in the foot when Peter turns up and finds out what's going on and then refuses to let Ken see little Simon over Christmas. It serves Ken right, if you ask me.

Deranged Dev goes into manic overdrive when he finds out that Matt from the golf course is engaged to Sunita. Not only that, they're planning to wed. Dev couldn't care less about the twins or his ex-wife but just because he doesn't want anything to do with them doesn't mean he's going to let Matt take over his wife and kids without a fight. When his plan to turn on the smarm backfires with Sunita (is it just me or does she look like she's got fatter lips than she had last time around?) he drowns his sorrows in the Rovers but the only one feeling sorry for him is himself.

Over at Underworld, the world-famous Christmas party is a no-go this year. Carla tells her stitchers there's a credit crunch on and they need to tighten their belts. Well, well, how the mighty have fallen. If you cast your mind back to the very first time we ever saw Carla, she roared into the Underworld Christmas party with a bottle of champagne in each hand and another crate load in the back of her flash sports car. This festive season she's taken to being questioned at the police station about Jimmy Dockerson, Tony and Liam. So busy has she been on police business this yule that she's forgotton to have her roots touched up.

At the Websters', Rosie takes her cleavage for an outing to the Rovers to wobble in front of Peter Barlow in the hope that he'll give her a job in the bar. He tells her he'll consider her assets. Sophie's planning her full-body baptism while Kevin continues his creepy Molly lust.

In the Rovers, the panto auditions are in full swing and after a bit of drama, the cast is, er, cast. Graeme is Buttons, the ugly sisters are Sean and Jesse, Becky's Dandini and Betty's the fairy godmother. She would have scowled if she hadn't been. I can't wait to see this, it's going to be great.

Norris and Freda celebrate after winning �1,000 in a competition. Unfortunately for Graeme, as Norris found out this piece of good news, he was holding a ladder on top of which was Graeme, cleaning windows. The ladder slips from Norris' grasp, Graeme falls and does himself a mischief and Norris has to take on Graeme's window-cleaning round. He's only doing it so he can peer into people's bedroom windows, which sounds like the only reason I'd ever do that job too. Bu then I'm really nosy, me.

And finally, this week was the last time we'll ever see Blanche Hunt on screen. It was poignant, but fitting, that her last word was: "Hallelujah!" and her absence has been explained with a trip to Portugal with her mate May Pen from the one o'clock club. You know May, she's the one with the gay son who won best of show in Crufts.

And that's just about that for this week. I'll be back in the New Year and it's over to Karen Jankel's weekly update for the next two weeks. Merry Christmas, everybody!

Coronation Street writers this week were Peter Whalley, Martin Allen, Jayne Hollinson and Damon Rochefort.

Glenda Young

Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com

Glenda is away. This week's update written by Karen Jankel.

Dec 28, 2009

Glenda is away. This week's update written by Karen Jankel.

I hope you've all been enjoying the festive season. I'm glad to report that the mince pies have lasted out and Father Christmas even managed to find his way down the chimney at the update office.

This week's update begins on Christmas Eve with the Websters celebrating the first of several Christmas birthdays on the street. As Rosie rips the paper from her presents with the practised air of someone who is clearly used to taking things off, her mother upsets Kevin by announcing that she's off to town to do yet more shopping. What he doesn't know at this point is that she has far more serious matters on her mind.

Over at the Rovers a packed audience awaits the start of the Panto with eager anticipation. Or rather, the half dozen residents who aren't involved in having a domestic or taking part in the show. Which is probably a good
thing since there can't be too much room left for seats after most of the pub has been taken over with a stage and scenery. Sean and Jesse make a very credible pair of pantomime dames but we learn that it's Amy who is due to steal the limelight with some singing. Unfortunately (or perhaps that should be fortunately) we never get to enjoy her dulcet tones because before she has the chance to burst into song, one of Roy's props comes tumbling down and the only word Amy manages to mutter is something rather rude.

On Christmas morning the Barlows start gathering for their family lunch. Simon seems quite pleased by his bicycle from Ken and Deirdre until Grandpa George arrives with his gift of a Wii. Things go from bad to worse when George inadvertently tries to fill Peter's glass with wine and Ken uses it as an excuse to start another row. Poor Deirdre doesn't even have time to hand round the mince pies before everyone decides to make a swift exit. Still, it does leave Ken plenty of time to mend the puncture on Simon's new bike. Clearly it's a very complicated puncture because he's still trying to mend it two days later.

Others seem a lot more cheerful on Christmas morning, particularly over at the Tilsley-Platt-Nearly-McIntyres, where Gail not only has her wedding to look forward to but is enjoying the surprise arrival of her eldest son. In the meantime, Jason and Tina have made up after their falling-out over Sarah but when they turn up for lunch with Gail and Joe, Tina is horrified when she discovers Nick is none other than the man she snogged a couple of nights before. Nick finds the whole situation highly amusing and no doubt Demon David will turn it to his advantage once he discovers the truth. Until then he's busy sulking about the fact that everyone seems to have forgotten that it's his birthday. Even his Mum seems to have overlooked it and so, in a fit of pique, he reveals the fact that Audrey only invited Nick over to thwart Gail and Joe's wedding plans.

Over at Tyrone and Molly's, festivities are going with a swing. Having found out about Kevin's trip to Paris with Sally, Molly has told him that the affair is definitely over and it looks as though this time she really means it. However, Kevin has other ideas and while Auntie Pam, Jack, Connie and co. make merry with the Karaoke machine Tyrone gave Molly for Christmas, Kevin's busy trying to win Molly round by the dustbins in the back alley. One minute she's slapping him for trying it on and the next they've realised that they can't live without each other for a moment longer and agree that they'll both go and break the news to their respective other halves and meet at the garage in an hour to start their new lives together.

So, whilst Molly sets about getting Tyrone on his own to do the deed, Kevin returns to tell Sally the awful truth. However, before he has a chance to tell her, Sally shares her own dreadful news: she has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Kevin is shocked to the core and wracked with guilt and is torn between wanting to comfort his wife and needing to get to Molly to stop her before she breaks the news to Tyrone about the affair. Luckily for all concerned, he manages to do with only seconds to spare. A couple of days after Christmas Kevin accompanies Sally to the hospital where she learns more about her condition. She's told that she'll need surgery in less than four weeks and then will have to wait another week for the results. In the meantime, although she's been advised to tell her family, Sally feels she knows her girls best and that she doesn't want to burden them with the news until she has an idea of the outcome. This gives the opportunity for some unfortunate irony. A large envelope arrives in the post for Rosie and her sister knows she's up to something. When the contents spill over the floor of Roy's Rolls, Sophie discovers the truth: Rosie has had some topless photos taken, in her quest to become a glamour model. And, as she explains to Graeme who also happens to be there at the time, it has been suggested that she might do well to have a breast enlargement.

So, Kevin is now playing the dutiful husband, Molly is back to looking permanently harassed and being vile to poor Tyrone, Sally is trying desperately hard to act as though nothing has happened and Kevin is looking more like a wet weekend than usual. So wet, in fact, that his father realises something is wrong and gets him to spill the beans about Sally. We're reminded that Kevin's own mother died of cancer and so Bill, of all people, understands what he's going through. However, what he finds far harder to understand is the news of Kevin's affair with Molly which Kevin also finds the need to confess and Bill gives him the benefit of his disapproval.

There's a bit of light relief this week when Becky reluctantly accompanies Claire and the children on a very muddy outing to Alderley Edge. What we establish from this is that, although Becky is proving to be a very good surrogate mother to Amy, she has absolutely no intention of ever having children of her own. Steve meanwhile seems to have other ideas.

And that's just about it for this week. Glenda will be returning next week but, until then, may I take the opportunity to wish you all a very happy and healthy New Year.

Karen Jankel

Witten by Glenda Young , writer of Coronation Street Weekly Updates for the internet since 1995.