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Coronation Street Weekly
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NEW FOR
KINDLE...
Corrie weekly updates from 1995
17 years in
17 e-books
All the wit and warmth of Weatherfield, none of
the waffle
Available from amazon.co.uk or amazon.com
Weekly updates with pictures on the Coronation
Street Blog
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2008 -
AUGUST 4
Ken starts work editing his novel as Blanche and
Deirdre eye him from the kitchen, wondering what's going on behind
the eyes of the man in the cardi at their living room table. It's
called Sunday Afternoon is Ken's book. “You were conceived on a
Sunday afternoon,” Blanche tells Deirdre in that way mothers have of
giving daughters way too much info. Well, they didn't have Sky+ in
those days and car boot sales hadn't been invented so there was
little else to do, I suppose.
Dev and Amber were wonderful
this week as dad and daughter played dictionary shuttlecock across
the corner shop counter. Amber commenced with Ameliorate and Dev
delivered Ergo. Not to be outdone, Amber returned with Pretentious
but Dev wrapped it up with Facetious. I think that's the snotty
version of Facebook. Instead of giving people a poke, you just throw
them a look, roll your eyes and then tut. Anyway, Dev's trying
to give someone a poke of his own and ex-Bollywood actress Nina
Adani isn't complaining. Nina is the wife of Dev's new business pal
Prem who's big in floor coverings. (I did the shag pile joke last
week). Nina was Dev's wet dream when he were a lad and he can't
believe his luck on meeting Nina at last after seeing her movie 88
times. Yes, 88 times. He comes over all giddy and has a bit of a
moment in the golf club as he recounts this. Nina's over the moon to
meet Dev, not least because she's flattered that someone remembers
her as a Bollywood beauty instead of the Cheshire set housewife
she's become. Prem and Nina try to set Dev up with their accountant
Lisa, she's a big lass in a frock. But Dev's only got eyes for Nina
and she's willing to play away from Prem and double up with Dev.
Amber knows there's summat up, she's not daft that one. She spies
her dad leaving for lunch with Lisa the big lass then spies him
again as he rolls home in an open top Jag with his Bollywood
barmcake. I spy trouble ahead, not least because of the way Nina bit
into Dev's Cox's Pippin but also because Amber is now holding Dev to
his promise that they're moving on up in the world and into one of
Tony Gordon's flats in the sky. Or maybe Amber can keep Dev's feet
on the ground?
David hacks into Tina's email account to
discover she's been emailing her old flame Matt. He reads Tina's
emails to Matt which are on the whole quite generous about David
who's pleased to read that his girlfriend thinks that he's cool. But
he's a little perturbed to read that she'd also like him to be more
spontaneous and so he cooks up a plan. He lays rose petals along the
floor and up the stairs to the bathroom which he's lit with candles
and more petals. Ah, that is so sweet and romantic. Meanwhile, Ted
gets all dolled up in his best bib and tucker and heads out for a
night on the town. “Got a date?” asks Tina. “No,” replies Ted. “Just
a night with a fag hag I haven't seen for ages.” What? Margi
Clarke's back already?
In the Rovers, Liz pretends not to
care, Harry the bookie pretends not to notice and Clarissa Mason
ended up getting thrown out onto the Street by her hair. Yes,
another Corrie catfight on the cobbles although if anyone had
dragged me out of a pub by my hair I'd have put her bloody windows
through with a brick. Clarissa just takes it in her stride, clearly
a woman used to being thrown out of pubs, and gets Liz to put her
most expensive bottle of bubbly on ice so she can celebrate with
Harry who's supposed to have been to the solicitor to stop their
impending divorce. Only he hasn't, he was sidetracked, in that way
that men like Harry Mason can get. The bubbly explodes all over
Clarissa's cleavage which leads me to say, ladies and gentlemen,
that there's too much cleavage on Corrie these days and nowhere near
enough man totty. And no, Jason Grimshaw in a vest top doesn't
count, not when you're a lady of a certain age, like, er, me. Bring
back Spider, that's what I say, etc.
Elsewhere this week,
Audrey and Bill with Roger and Janice set off in a people-carrier
for a weekend of cheap beer a la France. But their booze cruise
turned into a bruise cruise when Audrey crashed the car after she'd
taken her eyes off the road while she was arguing with Janice and
Bill. Mind you, she'd already taken the wrong turn, distracted by
her passengers doing Edith Piaf impersonations in the back of the
car. Audrey's well cheesed off and after the crash she has to have
her arm put in a sling before she slings Bill out. Corrie missed a
trick here. Bill could have warned Audrey she'd regret her actions
and Audrey could have gone all Facetious.com and replied in the best
Edith Piaf of her own: “Non, Bill Webster, je ne regrette
rien.”
Talking about the Webster's, there's trouble in store
for Kevin when Streetcars cancel their contract with the garage
after Lloyd's offered a better deal elsewhere. Kev finds out that
the elsewhere is in the pay of one Mister Tony Gordon and he rails
at Sally and Rosie about the injustice in the world. It's news at
which Rosie shakes her cleavage and Sally puts the beans on for tea,
supporting Team Kev all the way.
And finally, over at the
Morton's it's all pointless stuff about Jerry's ailing health. This
is going to keep chuddering towards its clunky climax which will
eventually get rid of the lot of them (anyone want to start a
petition to save Darryl?). Jerry's seen mowing the lawn – even
though there's proof that there's no green grass on the Street – and
barbecuing in the backyard while Theresa does her best to hang onto
a storyline.
Five things we learned in Corrie this
week.
1. Tina McIntyre once had a dog
called Susan.
2. The most expensive bottle of
champagne in the Rovers is £26
3. Liz McDonald
is Lily Savage's mother
4. Aunty Pam shows
Tyrone how to speculate to accumulate
5.
There's an awful lot of loose change down the back of Jack's sofa
(see 4 above)
And that's just about that for this
week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Jonathan
Harvey, Martin Allen, Martin Sterling and Jayne
Hollinson.
Glenda
--
Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com
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