Dec 1, 2008
Greetings and welcome, dear update readers. We’re here again at the beginning of December and as is now tradition in the weekly update office, we’ve whipped out the Corrie weekly updates advent calendar. So let’s sneak a peek at what’s behind the first door, shall we? Sadly, it’s Teddy Sheringham, again. Normally I’d come over all peculiar at the sight of Teddy in the calendar, as regular readers will know. But he’s looking a bit the worse for wear this year as I couldn’t afford a new calendar and this year, Teddy’s Christmas balls have lost their sheen. And so without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you’d like your weekly updates with pictures and fun stuff, have a look here http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
This was the week when Carla Connor returned from el-ay, which is Los Angeles. If she’d been to Liverpool, it would’ve been ar-ay. She’s not back five minutes and she’s down on one knee in front of Tony Gordon with a little box in her hand, just big enough to have something small and special in it, like perhaps his good eye. The box houses only an elastic band, but that’s good enough for Tony to accept Carla’s proposal of marriage and the two of them will wed on Wed. Nesday this week. Or will they? Perhaps Rosie’s video of Carla snogging Liam will put a dampner on events when Carla’s pixellated e-dultery goes public. Pat the Scotsman (no, it’s not a game) turns up for the wedding, he’s Tony brother from the frozen north who’s wondering why everyone hates his brother. Jed Stone and Kev Webster compare notes and join the I Hate Tony Gordon Fan Club as Tony’s good eye goes on manic alert.
Over at Gail’s, her kitchen gets cleaned out. Not cleaned up, cleaned out. The Windass lads break in and nick all the cupboards, the worktops, the lot. Joe installs a new one for her and Gail thinks he’s great but he’s got secrets to keep as it becomes clear he’s stony broke.
Becky has her day in court and Steve turns up at the last minute to lie through his teeth and save Becky’s skin. Up in the public gallery sits Blanche Hunt with her bag of mints, taking in the scene below of Steve admitting to having it away with barm cake Becks. Steve and Becky beg Blanche to keep schtum, which she’s done for now, for free drinks in the pub. But then Steve and Becky get a room and do it, you know, it, and he tells her he loves her and that he’ll leave Michelle. He even puts Operation Bad Boyfriend into action. Meanwhile, Jason wows Becky with a bit of a chat and a goldfish in a bag. So Becky’s torn, you know. On the one hand there’s Steve who’s a bit simple and gawps like a puppy every time they met and on t’other there’s Jason who’s dim, with a fish. And in the middle there’s Becky who’s bright enough to know better but probably never will.
Norris meets his nemesis when he goes to collect second prize in the Cliff Richard competition and comes face to face with competition winner, Mary Taylor. He’s quite smitten, is Norris, especially when Mary asks him to go along with her to the gig. Rita and Jed can’t believe that Norris has pulled as Mary is a little bit younger than Norris. “If it doesn’t work out, you can always adopt her,” says Rita. Norris and Rita almost had a falling out this week when she dissed Sir Cliff, the Peter Pan of Pop and Norris won’t hear a bad word said against.
Graeme starts work in the butchers this week but doesn’t take it too seriously. He threatens Norris with two pork chops, forcing him to guess which blockbuster movie he’s being. “It’s A Porkaclyse now, geddit?” he asks Norris, who clearly doesn’t.
Deirdre’s back from Lourdes this week, having helped old ladies on the loo on the French trip. She and Ken hover around Peter, wondering what he’s done with or to Simon but he seems to have things under control as he gets to grips with Leanne while farming his son out to play with Ashley’s lads. He’s growing a moustache, is Peter, and in soap land facial hair can only mean one thing; Peter Barlow is a villain of the most devilish kind. Just you wait and see, he’ll be twirling that tash while doing a nasty chortle any day soon.
And that’s just about that for this week.
Coronation Street writers this week were Joe Turner, Mark Burt, David Bowker and David Lane.
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.comhttp://www.corrieweeklyupdates.btinternet.co.uk
Dec 8, 2008
Hello folks and welcome to another weekly update. This week the update’s been making a list and next week it’ll check it twice. It’s time to open door number two on the weekly update advent calendar and let’s see who we’ve got. Ooh, lovely and yum, it’s Tom Selleck. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you’d like your weekly updates with pictures and fun stuff, have a look here http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
This week the Windasses moved into Coronation Street. They’re the Battersby’s all over again, so much so that I’m calling them the Windasserby’s. They’re thick, ignorant, violent and noisy and move in next door to the Platts. What’ll it be like living next door to a family of violent thugs with criminal records? The Windasses will soon find out.
The big event of the week was Carla Connor’s wedding, taking up two episodes of its own, both written wonderfully by Damon Rochefort with some cracking dialogue. Sally sipping pink wine: “Ooh, Rosé!” Rosie, without missing a beat: “What mum?” Anyway, there were “I do’s” with Tony in a kilt and a man on the bagpipes. I was going to tell you my bagpipe joke but Sean Tully got in first when he told it to the assembled throng at the wedding reception. Never mind I’ll tell it anyway. What’s the definition of a gentleman? Someone who can play the bagpipes, but doesn’t. As the wine flows and Sally gets drunk, Kevin turns Neanderthal after a few beers and everyone gives Tony Gordon the evil eye. As if he needs it, too. The Websters’ are in such a state that Carla lets rip at Sally and tells her to behave herself. Sally, and never forget she’s a Seddon and from the wrong side of the tracks, gets revenge at the wedding and shows Maria the video of Carla snogging Liam. Maria spends the rest of the week questioning anything that moves whether they knew anything about Liam and Carla having an affair. She’s beside herself with grief and it makes for really dull viewing. Next!
Steve steps up Operation Bad Boyfriend so that Michelle will hate him and he can run off with Becky. He slopes around the flat in baggy y-fronts, scratching himself, unwashed, unshaved but Michelle hasn’t noticed anything’s wrong. Meanwhile Becky starts to get jealous and wants Steve all to herself as Liz heads off to her Brazilian Crunch class. Ouch.
Molly suspects Tyrone’s up to no good with Amber’s mate Minnie who does indeed drive a Mini. She hasn’t yet been spotted wearing a mini but I’m sure it can’t be long; mini’s never are. Tyrone is indeed deceiving Molly but in a good way, if such a thing exists. He’s scamming with Aunty Pam to sell cheap perfume but Molly thinks he’s chatting up girls and lying about going to the gym and of course she’s spot on. She might be short but she’s good, is Mol.
At Weatherfield General, Janice starts her community service with Emily Bishop supervising her every move. She thinks she’s in for a soft ride when she finds out Emily’s the one looking after her but Emily soon shows her backbone of steel. Years of living with Norris has toughened her up and she sets Janice to work mopping the floor of the canteen and sorting out the bric-a-brac and knick-a-knacks. And it’s not long before Janice turns the head of a fella in the George Formby ward.
And that’s just about that for this week. It’s been a short update despite the fact there were six episode this week. Most of the time was spent watching mooching Maria. Let’s hope things brighten up before Christmas or I may have to sulk.
Coronation Street writers this week were Debbie Oates, Lucy Gannon, Carmel Morgan, Mark Wadlow and Damon Rochefort
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com
Dec 15, 2008
Greetings and welcome to the last weekly update of 2008. I’ll not be here next week because there’s summat going on. Big fat fella, beard, tinsel, keeping the gin from Aunty Maude, all that sort of stuff. But I will be back between Chrimbo and the New Year with a festive round up of events on the cobbles so there’s something to look forward to after the disappointment you’ll receive when you don’t get the presents you hoped for. Anyway, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you’d like your weekly updates with pictures and fun stuff, have a look here http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
Over in the Rovers, Steve’s Bad Boyfriend Operation steps up another gear. Last week he was unshaven and unkempt and this week he’s playing miserly Scrooge. John Thomson joins the Corrie cast this week as General Custard, the children’s entertainer, who Steve’s booked to entertain Amy and the kids at a party in the pub. General Custard, who’s really called Jesse (as in “James”, not as in “a right big”) is distraught as he’s just split up from his wife, who played the other half of his cowboy act, Hia-Lowa. As Steve comforts and cuddles Jesse, who’s still wearing his cowboy outfit, at the bar as he bawls about his missus, Eileen comes in to see what’s going on. “What’s this?” she asks, in the best line of the week. “A street theatre production of Brokeback Mountain?”
Anyway, it’s all a ploy for Jesse and Eileen to get together as she takes on the challenge to become the new Hia-Lowa. Wearing a long black wig Eileen looked just like a long lost member of the Cherokee Connor clan. All this Hia-Lowa business was quite funny. “They’ll all be saying it in the pub downstairs, later,” says Jesse to Steve. Never mind the pub. When Carla Gordon came on screen later to greet Tony with a cheery “Hiya! to her new husband, I can’t have been the only Corrie fan to shout back at the telly. “Lowa!”. I can’t, can I?
Maria’s a woman possessed with finding the truth and witters on to anyone who’ll listen. I know, she did it last week too, but this week she did it in a nasty dressing gown. Carla and Tony return from honeymoon and Tony calls round to see Maria after he listens to her rants on his mobile phone accusing him of murdering Liam. He doesn’t deny it and offers her a million quid to keep schtum but as everyone now thinks Maria is nuts no-one believes her when she tells them the truth. She then reports the murder to the police while Tony sits in his car fingering a leather belt with strangulous (I know that’s not a real word, I just made it up) thoughts of murdering Maria. The thing is with Tony Gordon, he’s not that frightening, he just looks a bit daft.
Elsewhere this week, Tyrone suffers a minging birthday when Molly wants nothing to do with him after she found out he’d been lying to her about going to the gym when he was on the scam with Pam. Tyrone can’t keep his mind on the job at work and gets marriage counselling from Kevin Webster who drags him to the pub for a pint.
Another new arrival this week was Eileen’s dad, Colin Postlethwaite. With Elvis’ Hound Dog as his mobile phone ringtone and an eye for the ladies, Rita in particular, Colin could be good fun. It’s clear he likes a drink or two, does Colin, and after Eileen’s fed up waiting for him to come home for dinner, she takes dinner to him in the pub, dumps it on the bar counter and covers it in salt. It’s been a good long few years since that happened in Corrie, it seems just like the sort of thing that Hilda did to Stan.
Over at Roy’s Rolls, Hayley and Roy are planning to open up on Christmas Day to feed the homeless of Weatherfield. Hayley reckons it’ll be the best thing to happen to her at Christmas apart from getting a kiss from Roy under the mistletoe. I swear Roy blushed when he heard this.
At Emily’s, Norris and Mary grow closer while Jed Stone worries about Sunny Jim, his missing cat.
And finally this week, it was great to see Steve and Eileen carrying on that great Coronation Street taxi-cab tradition of making paperchains in the Streetcars office.
And that’s just about that for this week. I hope every single reader has a wonderful Christmas. I’ll be back before the New Year with a bumper edition update covering all of the Christmas events on Coronation Street. Cheers, everyone!
Coronation Street writers this week were Simon Crowther, Chris Fewtrell, Julie Jones and David Lane.
Glenda
Dec 31, 2008
Greetings and welcome to the last weekly update of 2008, written on the very last day of the year. I’ve had a break from writing the update over Christmas because a) I’ve got a life (no, really, I have) and b) even if I had the time and inclination to spend hours at the coalface of the computer, well, there was cake to eat and sherry to drink. I hope everyone had a truly wonderful Christmas and I wish every single reader all the very best for the year ahead. And so, without any further ado, here we go with this week’s Coronation Street update.
If you’d like your weekly updates with pictures and fun stuff, have a look here http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
The update this week covers Christmas on the cobbles over the last couple of weeks and while I don’t want to, I think I’m going to have to start by saying that Christmas in Weatherfield has been a bit crap. Soap Christmasses should be full of drunken feckless men in Santa suits, drunken factory girls in deely-boppers dancing around their sewing machines waving their knickers in the air while snogging the factory boss. There should be tears in the back room of the Rovers while the regulars party hard on t’other side of the bar. But no, this year on Corrie, there wasn’t any of that. What we did have was disappointing; Peter Barlow pushed into a Christmas tree, Tony Gordon strangling Jed Stone with Carla’s nighty and a bit of argy-bargy at the Platt’s - but in their house, argy-bargy is for life, not just for Christmas.
Yes, Peter Barlow has been drinking too much and slurring his words. He ruined Simon’s nativity play by turning up drunk to shupport hish shon and then had to apologishe to Ken and Deirdre while sipping on orange juice in the Rovers to prove that he’s now sober and can look after the fabtastic little Simon, who’s the best young actor to hit the cobbles in a long time.
At the Underworld Christmas party, usually a time of drunken antics and great dialogue, this year was rather subdued. Jed Stone got wise to Tony Gordon and Tony ended up strangling him with Carla’s negligee. He bundled the body into a basket at the factory as the girls partied on but when Tony went back the next day to dispose of Jed’s body, Jed was still alive. It’s not clear what Tony’s gone and done with Jed now as he offered him a flat in Wigan. Perhaps death was preferable, who knows? Emily knows summat’s up when she finds Jed’s hat which Tony had left behind at the house - and Jed Stone never goes anywhere without his hat. Or indeed his cat, which Norris had found in a basket. Hats, cats, dead bodies and nighties. Soap Christmasses should come with more spice. Fortunately, Maria provided a moment of madness when she daubed MU DERER on the Underworld walls, determined to out Tony Gordon as the killer of Liam. It was left to Becky to paint in the missing R, aah.
At Gail’s house, there were fisticuffs between David and Gary Windass who Rosie’s got the hots for but he’s after Tina who’s going out with David. Confused? No, me neither. It was too simple a storyline. No diary revealations this year over the sprouts, just an hormonal punch-up at Gail’s. Even Rosie Webster and David Platt’s 18th birthdays went by without much going on.
Best storyline by far has been Liz McDonald and her exercise class, the Brazilian Crunch, at which she wheezes. This shouldn’t be confused with the Credit Crunch, which squeezes. Lloyd’s roped in to be DJ at the Brazilian Crunch class and it’s not long before he and Liz lock lips and then scamper upstairs together in the Rovers for a bit of, well, I don’t know. You work it out.
The lovely Rita had a decent Christmas, spent with Eileen’s dad, Colin. Eileen wasn’t best pleased as she was expecting her dad there for his turkey and pud but he plumped for Rita’s offer of Christmas stuffing instead.
Over in Roy’s Rolls, Hayley and Roy fed the homeless of the parish with a determined grin and plenty of gravy while Becky and Steve played silly beggars.
Up in the flat in the sky, Dev strummed along to Guitar Hero (I recommend this highly) with a tie around his forehead to get that Jimmi Hendrix thing going on while offering Tara the flat above the shop for her to move into.
And finally, leading up to an explosive New Year on the street, Aunty Pam stores used chip fat in Jack’s back yard. She plans to convert it into bio-diesel with the help of young Darryl but it’ll all end in tears when Aunty Pam gets blown up! Now that’s the sort of action we want to see on Corrie at Christmas.
And that’s just about that for Christmas on Coronation Street. Have a wonderful New Year and I’ll be back as usual with the regular weekly updates from early next week once again.
Glenda
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Blogging away merrily at http://flamingnora.blogspot.com
