October 6 2003
Wassup and welcome to another weekly wotsit, wrapped up in a parka
with an extra thick scarf. What's with the weather? I always thought
London were a top-coat warmer than up north but by 'eck, it's fair chilly.
But even though I'm wrapped in thermals as I head off to work via the London
underground, there are still those who parade around with their midriff
on display. And in the crowded tube carriages, as I discovered the
other day, it can be quite lethal. I'd only glanced up for a second to see
what station we were in in when I got someone's belly piercing caught on
my nose. It wasn't the best start to the week, so without any further
ado here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
Karen tries to call off her divorce and dashes to the Town Hall to stop
the paperwork before it gets stamped. With her Freshco loyalty card
as official ID, Karen persuades the woman at the Town Hall to stop the divorce,
but it's too late, it's gone through. Never mind, she's not gutted for
long. Steve winds her up when he makes a phone call pretending he's meeting
another woman down by the canal in a new Yorkshire wine bar: "Eee bar gum"
and of course, Karen follows him. What she finds is her own Captain Birdseye
on board the sailing barge Rosemary with a diamond ring, a wedding proposal,
a glint in his eye and mutiny on his mind. As news of the engagement
spreads, by way of Karen yelling it to everyone, not everyone's as pleased
for them as Karen would have liked. Divorced on Thursday and engaged on
Friday? He only took her for a drink on Tuesday, they were making love on
Wednesday and then on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, well, the girls at
the factory are not best pleased. Not phased by this, Karen organises
a huge party at the Rovers, there's banners, there's food and there's only
Norris and Kirk turn up. And there's a great rapster DJ in the corner
of the snug going something like (and I'm making this bit up 'cos I can't
remember exactly what he did say, but you get the drift): "It's 9 o'clock,
the party ends, and Karen she ain't got no friends." Karen throws
the DJ out of the pub, Steve nibbles the celery and the girls from the factory
roll home from the bingo. Fiz gives Karen a set of cups she's won earlier
that night. "It's a set of mugs, just like the ones you took us for"
she says.
Undeterred that they don't have the blessing of their friends and neighbours,
Karen starts planning her big greedy wedding and isn't best pleased to
hear that Steve has to put Streetcar profits back into the firm. Well,
it's Dev's idea. He wants the firm to expand, to have satellite navigation
and lady cab drivers. (Come back Amanda Barrie and bring your Glamour Cabs
uniform with you. I remember the first time I saw that film, I just didn't
think it possible for a woman to look so fantastic. Mind you, there
was a lot of eye-liner involved). Eileen listens to these
plans for the firm and chews on her chocolates, trying to get happy (....
then, dump the Cadbury's Class C stuff, pet, and start on something hardcore
like organic Green and Blacks).
Katy and Martin settle into domestic bliss together in his grotty flat
with everyone's disapproval hanging over their heads like a bad lampshade
with one of those red bulbs that don't light anything, they just turn things
red, you know the sort. Katy has to borrow bus money from Martin
and comments that their toothbrushes look dead cute side by side in his
bathroom - his red Oral B next to her blue Teletubby. Angela's finding
life hard without her daughter and snatches a brief conversation in the
cafe with her to tell her she misses her and wants her to come home.
Fred's gone on the trip of a lifetime, a two week trip to the by-roads
of Scotland to view the by-products of some beef factory with some butcher
pals of his. When Petula Peach the abbatoir heiress turns up and
tells Fred she's organising the trip, he decides not to go, not wanting
any fuss and nonsense with a woman who talks just like he does, I say,
sounds right familiar. Then Bev reminds him how much he were looking
foward to his little jolly so off he goes on the scout for supreme sausage
in Scotland.
Sunita and Ciaran have a bit of a falling out and he spends the night
at the Rovers, on the sofa in the back room. Or at least that's what he tells
her - when we all know he was in bed with Bev after spinning her a line
that him and Sunita had split up. More goings-on at the Rovers this
week include Lucy turning up to have a drink with Shelly, who wasn't expecting
her. Bev doesn't trust Lucy and tells Shelly to be careful - although she's
keeping schtum about Ciaran for now.
And finally this week saw Corrie's first gay kiss when Todd kissed Nick.
I'm not making a big fuss about this because I don't reckon it's as ground
breaking, relevant, or important in changing people's attitudes as
putting a transsexual in the nation's living room 4 or 5 times a week for
the past few years. Todd's as confused as can be over what happened
and Sarah's not faring well either. Nick meanwhile is questioning
his masculinity and asks Ashley if he's ever done anything to suggest he
was gay. Sarah packs, leaves and jumps on the bus with Bethany, not
sure where she's going while Todd stands on the cobbles, feeling much the
same.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
October 13 2003
Greetings and welcome to another weekly update. It's
been another cracking week on the cobbles so without any further ado, here
we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
There's angst and anger between Todd and Nick after the kiss on the sofa
last week. Nick steers clear of Todd with a sneering: "I've had to
disappoint better blokes than you in the past" and Sarah moves in with grandma
Brenda. After much tears and attempts at clearing up confusion, Sarah
moves back in with Todd although Nick's not happy about the arrangement and
lets them both know. With the seething tension, bubbling passion and
barely concealed anger hanging over her kids this week, Gail knows there's
something going on but isn't sure what. In the corner shop, Todd finds
a confidante in Sunita. I mention this only because there were gratuitous
shots of Tunnocks tea-cakes this week and I wanted to give them a mention.
It's Ken's 64th birthday and a card arrives via Ciaran from Peter, who's
still in communicado (I think it's somewhere in Spain). At the bookies,
Sally hands in her notice and the keys to Shelly, saying she's not running
the place for Peter while he's away. Shelly and Lucy decide to run
the place themselves and put Sally back in charge. Lucy reckons that
because she's his wife, she's entitled to 50% of everything Peter owns and
she helps herself and Shelly to the takings which they go out and spend.
Lucy's lapping this up but Shelly's unsure. When Ken finds out what's
going on, he tells Ciaran to tell Peter and soon a For Sale sign goes up at
the bookies.
Roy and Hayley reckon they've been more than patient with Tracy and think
the time's right for her to tell her parents she's pregnant. However,
Tracy has plans of her own and shocks the Croppers when they find out she's
started work as a Streetcars cab driver, and worse, they find her drinking
in the Rovers as she celebrates her divorce. Anyway, there's a showdown
in the sitting room when Roy and Hayley wait with Ken and Deirdre for Tracy
to return before letting the Barlow's know about the baby. There's
screaming and yelling and a line of dialogue at which I did a quick intake
of breath when Deirdre said to her daughter: "That kidney was wasted on you".
Tracy calls Roy a freak and Deirdre calls Tracy a monster and an evil little
cow, all part of a good healthy discussion then. When the crying
stops and the yelling ends, Deirdre and Ken tell Tracy they'll support her
because she's carrying their grandchild. Which means they're somewhat
surprised to hear Tracy, bless her isn't she kind, say that she plans
to give the baby to the Croppers when its born. Hormones being what they
are and making her clearly confused, she forgets to tell her parents that
in exchange for the baby they're paying her sixty million pounds and free
barm cakes for life.
Since Nick returned from Canada, he and Maria have done a good job of
pretending to themselves that they no longer care for each other.
So when Maria says she doesn't want anything to do with Nick, Candice takes
her chances and asks Nick out on a date. When Candice goes to the flat at
lunchtime to try on her outfit for the date (which couldn't have taken long
because there's never a lot to Candice's clothes), Nick follows her in there
to find out where she wants to go on the date that evening. Anyway, you can
probably guess what happens next. Maria comes in just as Nick and Candice
are coming out of the bedroom, after you know, and pretends not to be
jealous while Candice gloats and Nick makes a quick escape. It's just
like the teen Big Brother house really.
Dev dons a pair of specs and affects a mannerism which he hopes will get
him a date with the lady solicitor he's got his eye on, but which manages
only to make him look like an Asian Eric Morecambe. He didn't get the
date although he did get a few laughs in our house.
And finally this week, Norris loses his patience with Rosie, David, Craig
and a cheeky little monkey of their mate who play football in the street,
kicking the football against the Kabin walls. With his Pentel swinging, he
strides out on the cobbles and takes their ball away, not once but twice
and when they go in the shop to complain, he punctures it with scissors, right
in front of their eyes. Later in the Rovers, Tommy has a go at Norris
and tells him he wants a tenner for each ball. Norris, Rita and Emily pay
up and leave, muttering about kids and no manners these days and have you
seen the price of fish?
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
October 20 2003
Here I am again with another weekly wotsit so without any further ado
here we go with this week's Coronation Street update.
At the Barlow's Ken wonders if the baby's really Roy's
and when he shares his doubts with the Croppers they storm round to see Tracy.
Hayley to Tracy: "Ken has just told us about this Wally bloke!" Tracy
to Hayley: "Roy, you mean?" Roy goes to see Wally, who's tending a widow's
garden, trimming her box, tidying her bush and flexing his dibber (stop me
now, I'm a gardener, these bad jokes could go on all night!). The widow,
Wally says, has a face like a horse: "It's very hard to look her in the face
without offering her a carrot." Roy wants to know if Wally slept with
Tracy and at first Wally's all bravado and macho but when Roy tells him she's
pregnant, he swears he didn't touch her. Roy tells him the reason he
needs to know the truth and Wally replies there's no chance that he could
be the father - having lost the family allowance when he caught the mumps
at 15. So, thinking he's the true father there's only one way
now for Roy to have legal claim on the baby - he has to marry Tracy, or so
Hayley tells him. When Roy proposes to Tracy, she laughs in his face and
Hayley gets stroppy: "Murry Roy or the deal's off!". And so the ball
is in Tracy's corner - does Tracy need the money more than the Croppers want
a baby? Will Deidre and Ken bring up the baby with her if she decides
to keep it? And is it our new widescreen telly or is Deirdre getting,
like, really fat?
Gail seethes as she sees Nick dating Candice although Audrey's ok about
it and soothes her daughter in the street. Gail still hasn't got a clue
about Nick and Todd's kiss and they're both doing their best to ignore each
other this week.
It turned rather Hitchcockian in the Kabin this week when Norris hears
the thump, thump, thump of a football against the Kabin wall. "I don't
like it... " he says as the camera pans to his fear stricken face. "I don't
like it at all". Craig, David, Rosie and their mate (who's name
I've forgotten but Rita said his brother used to deliver papers for her once.
He had a lazy eye with a personality to match, you know the type) have picked
easy targets in Rita and Norris to torment with a bit of out-of-school angst.
As Lucy and Shelley continue running the bookies, a beard appears with
Peter Barlow behind it. He's back, he's defeated and he's not had
a shave. Moving back in with his parents, he tells his missuses that he'll
split the profits of the bookies with them when it's sold. He then declares
undying love to Shelley and demands of Lucy to see his son. Lucy encourages,
nay, badgers Shelley to return to the police station to give another statement
to ensure that Peter will be sent to jail - but Shelley ends up wondering
why she's there. It's clear Lucy's feeling bitter and using Shelley to get
at Peter while all Shelley wants to do is put the whole sorry mess behind
her.
(Best line of the week went to Peter, however, when he hears there's someone
pregnant at the Barlow's and wrongly assumes it's Deirdre - then when Tracy
walks in the room, the penny starts to drop: "Who? Her? No! Who?
Oh no!")
In his shopkeeper specs, Dev finally gets a date with the solictor lady,
and oh, dear me, is that Sunita feeling sorry for herself as she watches
Dev get smoochy with someone other than her? With her red sports
convertible and sharp mind, it doesn't take long for lady solicitor to realise
she may be treading on Sunita's feelings.
More arguments this week with Tommy yelling at Angela when he sees her
talking to Katy in the street. Trying to make an effort to be civil
to her parents, Martin and Katy agree to meet Tommy and Angela in the Rovers
but it turns into a punch-up once Les Battersby sticks his nose in. Later,
Angela defies Tommy and turns up at the flat to speak to her daughter. After
hugs on the sofa, they promise they'll keep in touch, whatever Tommy thinks.
And finally this week, for some reason best known at ITV but certainly
not in our house, Les Battersby was given a storyline that had him making
eyes at a barmaid in the Weatherfield Arms and spinning her a line that
he's in the music business. She tells him she's called Lulu and he tells
her he's called Clint - which is quite close to what we call him too.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda
October 27 2003
Here I go again with another weekly update.
Corrie has been pretty darn good for the last couple of months with strong,
sharp and often funny dialogue that's bringing the best out of many of the
cast - particularly Steve and Karen, although Les could have dialogue
written by Alan Bennett and still make a pig's ear of it. Anyway, without
any further ado here we go, here we go, here we go with this week's Coronation
Steet update.
Fred returns from his sausage sojourn to unsurpassable Scottish slaughter
houses to find Norris' tongue wagging in the Kabin. Norris tells Fred
that Claire stayed overnight, he saw her taking in the milk and that can only
mean one thing as far as Norris is concerned - passion not porridge. What
really happened was that Claire stayed in the spare room after Ashley persuaded
her to stay rather than go home late at night. So Fred's thinking there's
summat going on between them both, and tells Ashley he's right pleased. When
Ashley laughs about this to Claire later, they end up kissing on the sofa
before pulling away from each other, embarrassed and shy. Ashley thinks he's
been unfaithful to Maxine and Claire's not sure what to think: "I took advantage
of a vulnerable widower!". They clearly like each other and after much blaming
of selves "It were my fault", "No, it were mine," (repeat to fade), Claire
agrees to stay on as the babbie's nanny as if nothing has changed, when everything
has.
Peter's relieved that he won't be prosecuted although his wives aren't best
pleased he's been left off with a caution: Never run with scissors in your
hand. In that great tradition of scorned blondes, Lucy turns Loopy and
seethes with anger at both Shelley and Peter, convinced they're going to
get back together again. Shelley's tolerating Peter in the Rovers as
long as he stays yon side of the bar, where Bev growls at him often from t'other.
Lucy's mate comes round and finds a poison-pen letter (and I do hope it was
written in green ink) that she's intending to send to Peter but manages to
persuade her not to send it. Well, not until she's sorted out the spelling
errors anyway.
Les (Clint), has another date with Lulu (Cilla) and turns out to be
the mother of (Fiz). "Mum!" she screams when Fiz sees Cilla with Les.
"Mum?" says Les as Kirk chuckles by the bar at the Weatherfield Arms.
Anyway, when everyone comes clean about who they are and what they do, Les
and Cilla put the punters off their beer by snogging in the Rovers while Fiz
refuses to have anything to do with her mum. She says Cilla's a junkie
prostitute who she can't stand the sight of, calls her a tart and a cow and
says she hates her guts before storming out of the Rovers with Kirk the kennel
king in tow.
Martin and Katy are having a drink in the Rovers when Sally drags Kev over
to sit with them both. While Martin's at the bar, Sally tells Katy she's
lucky to have a fella like Martin and Katy tells her, jokingly, to keep her
hands off. "Been there, done that." replies Sally while Katy gets a
face like a startled hen. You know, one of them brown ones. But the
Websters have their own exciting news to share as Sally tells Kev that Rosie's
been chosen to play a Rissole in Grease.
At the dinner table in the Barlow's, Tracy and Peter score points off each
other trying to figure out just who's the worst. In the red corner is
Peter: bigamist, liar and feckless ne'er do well. And in the blue corner
is Tracy: a total waste of space and a really sorry mess. Anyway, with the
help of much whisky, Tracy tells Peter everything - all about doping Roy,
the baby's father being Steve and the Croppers paying her twenty grand to
give the baby to them. Peter tells Tracy to come clean with Steve, see
what his reaction is towards the baby being his and forget about the Croppers.
And as all of this is going on, as Tracy tries to tell Steve at Streetcars
the whole sordid truth, Roy and Hayley are with their bank manager, desperately
trying to borrow more money to give to Tracy. Just as Tracy is going
to tell Steve the truth, the Croppers storm in to hand over the cheque -
which she takes, as if there could have ever been any doubt - and tells Steve
all she wanted was to take over the switchboard so he could go home to Karen
to plan their wedding some more.
And that's just about that for this week.
Glenda