2009

Friday 1 May

Hello, and welcome to another Friday night.

We begin in the Kabin. Rita, with soggy tissue and reddened eyes, is starting the papers very very early. She hurriedly puts her glasses on and tries to look normal as the door opens. It's Norris. She brightens a little and asks what she can do for him. He just thought he'd call in and mark up the papers and get them ready for delivery and tells her a cup of tea would be nice. Oooh, see, he can be lovely sometimes. He sighs and begins his work but he notices the till is open, with the engagement ring still there, and sighs again.

Fiz and Kirk are worried about Julie but she says she's not going in to work. Fiz says she'll smooth it over with Luke. Julie appreciates them letting her stay, but she refuses a cup of tea - she doesn't feel like anything. She's been away (and crying from the look of her) all night. "We're stuck with each other, me and the truth."

Ken meets Gail's dad, Ted, in the street. He tells Ted that Martha is back. "I've got to talk to her. I have no choice." Martha represents everything he ever wanted and more, apart from literary success.

Steve's on the phone to Eileen, who won't be in. Steve is sympathetic and tells her life is full of surprises. This makes Becky tease him. "She's just found out her dad's a paedophile, not won Spot The Ball!" Steve's got a postcard from his mother saying she's staying in Spain for another few weeks.

Ken's back in the house and Blanche is appalled he went to the Kabin for a paper (I don't know why, because they get papers delivered. I've seen Deirdre paying the bill in the Kabin!) and didn't even find out what was going on. "It's call sensitivity," he says. "Uselessness more like!" says Blanche. She says she's concerned and wants to offer Rita the benefit of her wisdom. Ken tells them off for gossiping and says that if they have to talk about someone, they should talk about someone with something important to say. This gives Blanche a chance to have a go at him about foreign films (smut) and modern art. She tells him he's got grandchildren and a paedophile on the streets is of more importance to this family than anything Melvin Bragg's got to say! Ken gives up and says he's taking the dog for a walk.

Mary arrives in the Kabin. Norris is disgustingly offhand with her. Poor Mary wants to discuss a possible itinerary for their trip. Rita tells Norris she's fine and they should go over the road. "What, and leave the magazine orders in complete chaos? It was bad enough Kirk getting Roy's History Today. We don't want Roy ending up with Kirk's Nuts on his doorstep, do we?" (The writers were toying with us in this episode ! Mary also wanted to discuss driving over the Furka Pass in Switzerland) Norris suggests Rita make the tea and the two of them start bickering about whose turn it is, leaving poor Mary feeling abandoned.

Eileen gets Jason to turn off the telly. he'd hoped it would take her mind off things. There's a knock at the door and Eileen says she doesn't want to see anyone. It's Deirdre and as soon as Jason tells her Eileen's not seeing anyone, Eileen calls for her to come in. When was the last time anyone saw Deirdre go to work? Deirdre tells her that nobody's going to judge her. Eileen doesn't believe it. She knows what folk are like round here.

Ken turns up at the narrow boat, startling Martha.

Norris brings back the tea and Rita is surprised he hasn't made Mary one. Mary points out they do have to make some decisions because they're leaving at the weekend. Norris isn't keen to discuss anything. Mary's mapped out the itinerary in very fine detail, with their eventual arrival at Calais several pages in from the front of the document! She even knows which motorway services she wants to stop at on the way (Toddington ? "They've got a Little Chef." That's a cafe chain for those of you who don't know). Norris hustles her out of the shop and she's quite distressed he won't come home to discuss it now.

Eileen tells Deirdre about her friendship with Paula and the need for respectability in those days (odd, because Deirdre's older and would realise this). Eileen thinks she's a hypocrite because when she thought a teacher had got Paula pregnant she wanted Paula to go to the police. Now she knows the truth, she's blaming Paula. She can't bear to think of her father, let alone see him.

"I've missed you," Ken tells Martha. "How's your wife?" she asks. Martha wants to know why he lied and kept on lying. "We could still have been friends," she says. Ken tells her that would never have been enough. He says the boat is everything he's wanted. Martha tries to tell him it's less than ideal. He admits he's mythologised the place. "But I've fallen in love with you, Martha, not a lifestyle."

Steve breaks the news to Lloyd that Liz won't be back for a while. Lloyd's aghast. When he was away it seems he missed Liz a lot more than she's missing him.

Ken says that when he saw the boat moored last night he felt like a drowning man being thrown a rope. Martha says she decided to be selfish. "I've waited a long time for you Ken. That's why I returned."

Eileen's got the family photo album. She's tearing Colin out of pictures.

Julie gives Kirk a hug and talks to him about fathers. Kirk remembers some stories. Julie tells him how different her childhood picture of her father was from the reality.

Norris is raging about the chaos in the filing system. Colin's wrecked it. His raging sets Rita crying. Norris realises he's been insensitive. "Oh, Norris, how am I ever going to hold my head up out there?" Norris tells her she'll hold her head as high as anyone, but right now she should rest it on a pillow.

Ken tells Martha he didn't come earlier because he was frightened he would be sent away. "Where do we go from here?" Martha takes him by the hand and shows him to the bedroom.

The end of part one.

Margaret Carr

Well what do you know - events in the Street can often take a strange turn. And tonight's is perhaps one that can only happen in a soap, in real life it would be completely different I rather think. Apologies that this update is a little later than normal - I spent this afternoon watching the new Star Trek movie and if you have not already seen it then you are missing a real treat. Compelling opening and then high speed action. Live long and prosper.

Ken has been in Martha's bedroom and emerges with a face that clearly shows the cat has got the cream this afternoon, probably the first time for a very long time! Eccles seems to be less happy - sitting around when he should be having a nice walk. Anyway Martha seems equally impressed by recent events. A little later Martha is saying that this reminds her of student days, long lazy afternoons. Anything was possible then and now - it was pensioner bus pass time! She does not want a bus pass and anyway she used to be sexy. Ken tells her she is still sexy and she adds that she still has the capacity for fun and for good conversation. (By the way if any of my readers believe that Stephanie Beacham does not pass as a sexy woman then you need better eyesight!). She tells him that it is never too late to start a new adventure, life is long and rich and it must be savoured to the very last minute. They continue to savour being together and share some wine. Martha says that she hater her husband for having an affair - and yet she cannot do other than love Ken for what he is doing. And she does not want Ken to hurt his wife. Martha agrees that Deirdre should know. Ken does want to be with Martha, so the wife must be told the truth - that he is in love with someone else.

In Rita's flat Norris hands her a tissue and tries to distract her by almost talking nonsense. She has never liked cheap tissues. But they are both avoiding the real subject. Then Rita sobs and admits that more than anything else she feels silly. Norris tries to assure that her feelings for Colin were simply friendship - but she denies and she feels grief at the loss. Norris sympathises and says he will look after the shop and she should take a rest and put her feet up. She cries again and again calls herself a silly silly old woman.

And along the Street Paula turns up at Eileen's saying that she has tried to stay calm but has failed. She has blamed herself for years, called herself a tramp. Eileen interrupts to say that she is sorry for what was said the previous evening - she had been in shock. Paula tells her about shock - sitting in a hospital bed in Blackburn in 1977 with a screaming baby. Everyone else celebrating the birth of their babies - but no-one to celebrate Julie's birth, suffering shame and revulsion. Her Auntie Barbara had never spoken to her again - but as Eileen pointed out she always was a hard faced cow! Paula felt like opening the window and throwing herself into the car park - but as it was on the ground floor it would have had little impact on her! Eileen sees the funny and smiles and then enfolds Paula sympathetically as the latter starts crying and says that they knew nothing, they were just children. Later Paula explains how the fling started with Colin. Paula did not realise that she had so wrecked people's lives. To Paula it had just been exciting and then one day she was throwing up as they walked to school together. And she still does when she hears "Don't go breaking my Heart" - Elton John and Kiki Dee, I believe Elton's only number one!

Becky collects Amy from school to find that Cuthbert had been picking on the little girl and although she speaks to Steve decides that she has to take action. Amy points the lad out to Becky. Becky crouches down and fixes her eyes closely on the kid and he grips his mother's hand more tightly. Cuthbert is clearly scared out of his skin and Becky and Amy hug as they know that they have won a little battle.

At the bookies Deirdre is telling Peter and Michelle a story about Blanche arguing over who was the poorest. Anyway Michelle ends up with an invitation to tea as Peter and Simon are going to Number One for tea.

And here is where the strange turn comes in. Ken is about to disembark and asks if he can see Martha tomorrow. So she tells him that the ship sails at 4 as she is going to Tamworth for "An Inspector Calls" then onto see friends in Little Venice followed by some months on the Norfolk Broads, more friends, reading, relaxing. If he wants to continue the afternoons then he needs to travel with her. So is Ken about to sail away into the blue yonder?

Colin arrives at Kabin and Norris makes it very clear that Rita has nothing left to say to him. Rita however asks Norris to go into the back and give them a minute which he does under protest. Colin pleads - last night was difficult and things were going so well. Norris is listening and cannot control himself but Rita tells him to withdraw. Rita looks at Colin and then she opens the till, takes out the ring and places it on the counter telling him that he can have it back and he must take it away from her. Colin admits that he was wrong many years ago, it was reckless, vanity, boredom and lust. He says that she does not want to live the rest of her life without him? But Rita is not for turning and says that despite all she says she has company - nodding at Norris in the back - and she tells Colin to leave her along and to go.

Ken arrives back on the Street as the sun sets and he looks fondly down the cobbles which he worked to save and the houses where he has spent his entire life. he looks at Number One where he has spent the majority of his life and so many memories. A home, maybe a mental institution (well you try living with Blanche) - but all of his life centered around it. Now Ken has a chance to escape. He looks at the Rovers where he has spent many hours, many friends and of course the epic rows with Baldwin. Then he takes a deep breath and goes indoors.

Inside Peter, Michelle, Simon and Deirdre are laughing, playing hangman. Dreary offers to heat up some tea, Ken watches the others closely, burning imprints of them of his brain to carry as memories once he has gone. Later Ken eats his tea and Deirdre wants to know what he was doing this afternoon - he claims not much, just walking really (horizontal jogging I believe). Peter hears this and looks at his father and immediately sees that he is lying - he can guess where he really was.

Colin moves onto Eileen's to apologise. Is he to be labeled by a mistake he made many years ago. But Eileen accuses him of abusing a young girl. Colin denies that - he was younger too. Thirty-eight Eileen exclaims. And Colin says that Paula was lipstick and confidence, a woman's body and mind. Neither of them could help it. Eileen reckons that as an adult he should have done. He destroyed two families and she accuses him of rape. But Colin points out that Paula was not saying no at the time. He does not believe it was either abuse or rape. Colin reckoned that he was having a midlife crisis. A young woman wanted him - unlike Eileen's mother. And now suddenly thirty years later he has another daughter and does anyone think about him? He gasps and asks Eileen for a cup of water - he is not feeling very well and then he collapses to the floor.

Jason finds an ambulance outside his house and is told by Eileen that she thinks that Colin has had a stroke. Colin is put in the ambulance and Eileen refuses to go with Colin tot he hospital despite Dean trying to make her go.

In the backyard of number one Ken muses that he wishes he had a pound for every time he had stood there contemplating the universe. Peter does not believe that he had been walking and reckons that Ken is contemplating a disaster, not the universe. Ken is about to go inside when he stops and looks at the bench. And he looks at the overflowing ashtray and seems to be comparing Deirdre and Martha, the pros and the cons. What he has in common with each. Then he hears Deirdre's braying laugh from inside and he goes back to the gate. He looks along the ginnel - is this going to be his last night on the Street - will he get away from the Street and take up a different life - the one he has dreamt about for 50 years. It was waiting for him not far away.

Along the Street Eileen is also in the backyard and Jason asks if he should phone the hospital - she tells him to do what he likes. She says that she thought she knew everything but now knows she does not. Jason says welcome to the club.

And next week could be a very odd week. See you for next Friday.

K Richard W


Monday 4 May

Hello, and welcome to the first episode for Monday. I'm standing in for Diane, who is off seeing Amsterdam, Goths, and possibly me in the UK and Europe...

Blanche is off on the One O'Clock Club's mystery outing, though it's not a mystery since one member had a stroke on a past mystery outing. It doesn't pay to surprise old people. She invites Deirdre to one of Manchester's biggest open spaces - it's got romance, poetry, even a spot of celebrity. That convinces Deirdre, so Blanche tells her where it is: "It's a guided tour of Southern Cemetery! Who needs Disneyland, eh?" Ken's off to the library so refuses a chance to go. "Goodbye and I hope you have a nice afternoon," he tells Deirdre. She laughs. "I am coming back, you know!"

Eileen comes downstairs to find Jason on the phone to the hospital. She's annoyed, though Jason points out that Colin is still her dad. "He's got nobody else."

There's horror in the Kabin as folk watch Eddie Windass week. I had to close my eyes. Anna, serving, tells Roy she's seen "a hyena neck a wildebeest with more grace." Roy's just glad Eddie's enjoying the food. Roy admires her spatula technique and offers her a permanent job. He's just admired her skill with customers when she finds it necessary to tell Eddie to shut up. Oops. For some strange reason, which will become clear later, Roy finds it necessary to give her the Cash and Carry account number and password right there and then. Of course, Eddie hears this.

Norris is on the phone to Mary, telling her he still wants to go but he's needed in the Kabin. Rita tells him he shouldn't have changed his plans because of her. She says she needs to get on with things. Jason comes in and apologises for Colin. Rita wants him to tell Eileen it's not her fault. Jason tells Rita about the stroke. Norris tries to tell Jason what a thorough degenerate Colin is, but Jason shuts him up.

Fiz and Julie are in the back yard. Julie's upset because everyone thinks her long-lost dad is a monster. "Even my mother says it wasn't abuse. He never forced her into anything." She says she knew the score when she was 14 but Fiz points out that was with lads her own age. Julie says she's not writing off her father. She needs to hear both sides of the story.

Tyrone's tells Darryl some story from the past and Darryl is quite incredulous that Tyrone and Maria were once an item. Molly comes over. She's bored. Tyrone sees Connie knock on Jack's door. He asks Molly why Connie can't leave Jack along. Molly tells him it's because Jack doesn't want to be left alone. Molly heads into the office, over Tyrone's protests.

Ken meets Simon and Peter in the street. They're on their way to play football in the park. Ken tells Simon to look after his dad, and gives him a kiss. This immediately makes Peter suspicious but he and Simon go off.

Anna makes Eddie pay the full price for his slap-up breakfast and tea top-ups. Eddie offers her a tip: "Next time, don't cremate the bacon. I didn't know whether to eat it or send flowers." Gail comes in to tell Eddie about the state of the garden - Anna says she's asked Gary to take it in hand. Ken calls in to tell Roy he's decided to resign. Roy's disappointed - he's going to miss their chats while they cook sausages.

Julie's shouting at her mother on the phone. Her mother hangs up. Fiz points out it must have been hard for Paula, dragging all this up. Julie says her mother's trying to slam the lid down on it again but she needs to know more.

"There's been a Guardian going to the Barlows for as long as I can remember," Rita tells Ken. Norris expects it was the Manchester Guardian originally, but Ken says the paper abandoned Manchester about the time he went to university (it was 1959). When he graduated he expected to do the same. Rita asks about his New Statesman. He says he never gets a chance to read it now. And he's canceling The Guardian because he wants to keep active and there's no reason why he can't collect it. He expresses his sympathy to Rita and she says it's her own fault. Romance is for youngsters, not daft old folk. "Nonsense," says Ken. "Age doesn't lessen your entitlement to happiness." He says following her heart could take her somewhere wonderful. Norris disagrees. "Risks are for the young. We bruise too easily at our time of life." Rita's annoyed with him. She was just about to thank Ken for cheering her up. Ken leaves them bickering.

Jack's made a cup of tea for Connie. She talks about helping her dad with his pigeon loft. Molly and Tyrone arrive home. Tyrone listens at the door and hears Jack telling Connie about "just the right amount of pressure between your fingers... a firm grip." Tyrone bursts into the room and demands to know what's going on. "I could ask you the same thing," Jack says. Tyrone wants to know what they were talking about and Jack tells him it was how to handle pigeons. Tyrone's then very rude to Connie, pointing out she's in Vera's chair. Connie asks Jack about Scarlet and they go outside. Tyrone resents having Connie there but Molly points out she's nice and she's making Jack happy. "What's your problem?"

Ken's had his last hotpot. Emily comes in and tells him she bets it's the last hotpot (Yep, full of irony, this episode). They reminisce about Annie Walker and Uncle Albert. Ken buys a drink for Emily but tells Betty he has to go and gives her a tip. On the way out he slips a beermat into his pocket.

Outside, he looks down the street, waves to Gail and to Norris, ducks a flock of pigeons and looks thoughtful.

Gail calls in at the kebab shop to see Darryl. She suggests he work on the Windasses' garden because Jerry is the landlord and he's not there. If he doesn't do it, she'll hire a professional and send Darryl the bill.

Eddie Windass is in his taxi when Anna brings him some food. He lifts cash out of her purse. "I didn't come here to be robbed," she says, snatching back the food and leaving. But Eddie wasn't after the cash. He's still got the piece of paper on which she wrote the Cash and Carry details.

Ken's at his dining table writing a note.

Eileen's at work and Julie arrives. "It's about your/our dad," she says. She asks Eileen about the past but Eileen won't listen. Eileen tells her there are no excuses for what Colin did. "There must be more to him," Julie says. Eileen says there isn't, then corrects herself. "He's in hospital. He's had a stroke," she says.

Ken puts the note on the sideboard, looks at the picture of Uncle Albert and turns it face down. He picks up his bag, but then hears Peter and Simon come in. Peter spots the bag. "Are you going on holiday?" asks Simon. "No," Peter says. "He's running away to sea, aren't you? Off to sail the ocean blue. "Ken tells him it's his last chance. "I have to." Peter tells him he doesn't have to. He'll do what he wants to do. "You always have."

The end of part one.

Margaret Carr

So, Peter has caught his father leaving. He's not happy. He sends Simon upstairs to talk to Ken. He can't believe that Ken has everything he needs in "that poxy little case." Ken tells Peter that the fact everything he needs can fit in the wee case shows how little he has accumulated in life but he does have something important with him- a lock of Peter's hair and of Susan's hair. He tells Peter that he was going to get in touch eventually but that he wanted for things to settle down first and that he wanted to avoid the goodbyes like he is having now. Peter asks Ken what he has told Deirdre. He is stunned to find out that Ken hasn't even told Deirdre that he's leaving- he's just left her a letter. He pleads with his father to stop being selfish and at least "have class" and talk to Deirdre. Ken reckons that if he's being selfish now then it's about time he did so.

Julie is with Eileen in the cab office. Eileen tells Julie that she won't be going to see her father in hospital. Julie wonders if Creepy Colin was so bad a man that he warrants such treatment. Eileen justifies herself explaining that Colin was rarely at home, he spoke to her mother like dirt, he drank and he resented Eileen. "He's a very selfish man, Julie," she says. She tells Julie she is sure that while Colin is old and sick, he's also just old and rotten.

Back with Peter and Ken. Peter makes some reference to Martha- he can pick the type. "This piece... she's divorced, no doubt.... She's lonely, bitter, 'leave your wife, leave your wife.'" Ken tries to defend Martha but Peter isn't having a bar of it and boils it all down to sex for Ken and Martha. He asks Ken if Martha is clever which Ken admits. He asks Ken what will happen if Ken gets ill and Martha meets someone else. Ken says that if it proves to be the wrong decision then so be it. He thinks everyone should be allowed to fail. Peter is angered and while he tells Ken that he is glad they had this chat he also tells him to get out. "See you at Blanche's funeral," Peter spits, bitterly. Ken says goodbye and asks Peter to tell Simon he said goodbye. Peter knows that Ken will be back by tea-time. "You're not going anywhere, Dad," he says, "because you're ridiculous." I might mention that Peter looks very handsome as Ken leaves with his tail between his legs.

As Ken stands outside his house, Gail and Ted are walking along the street gabbing on. "All the best, Ken," says Ted as he walks past. Ken looks thoughtful outside his front door as Ted and Gail keep on walking. Ken takes off, looking confused as he strides across the cobbles.

In Dev's shop, Dev is talking to Tara about the nude photos which Dev seems to think that since they will be in Black & White, they will be more respectable. He asks Tara which kinds of poses she did for her naked shoot. Tara winds him up mentioning the Christine Keeler pose and the photographer shooting her from behind. Dev is not happy with this. Tara is getting under his skin.

That ratbag Eddie Windass has a trolley filled with booze from the cash & carry. He puts it all through the checkout and because he has the account number and password the checkout girl doesn't think twice about letting him go with it all.

Julie goes to see Colin in the hospital. Colin asks her straight off, "Have you got any irritating habits, my dear?" Julie tells him she has plenty. Colin is sure that they'll all have come from him.

Ken has reached Martha's lovely houseboat. He seems pleased to have finally made it. Martha is beside herself when he makes his way below deck. "Welcome home," she says.

Tara and Dev are talking about Tara's photographer friend having been chosen by the council to do an art project. Tara mentions that instead of a launch for him, she should perhaps project one of his images onto the side of a newly regenerated bit of real estate (or something- it was all gobbledygook to me). Anyway, Dev is being set up for a gigantic fall. Silly boy.

Deirdre and Blanche have arrived home from the art show. Deirdre places her handbag right on top of the note Ken has left for her explaining that he is running away with another woman. They have a philosophical discussion about life which ends when Deirdre discovers that they are nearly out of teabags.

Umed is in the Rovers wittering on at Dev about Tara's installation piece that she was talking about with Dev earlier. Umed wants to know what the point of it is. Dev can't really explain. Tara joins them and advises them all that the Gazette has agreed to cover it. Jason, who has been listening in, tells Tara about a guy he knows who doodles. Apparently he drew a naked lady playing tennis with a snake wrapped around her last week. As Umed exclaims that that is art worth looking at, Tara feels all superior to the philistines.

Ken and Martha are enjoying something to eat. Ken calls it his Last Supper. Martha points out that it is his First Supper. Ken asks what will happen if this doesn't work out. Martha tells him she will make him walk the plank like all her men. She then goes on to tell Ken how much she wants him to meet all of her friends who are all metropolitan folks from all walks of life and professions. Ken pulls a Newton and Ridley beer mat from his pocket and looks at it for a bit. He moves on and then asks Martha if he will be able to participate in any of her plays- painting scenery or perhaps just a walk-on part. Martha wonders if he wants to be her leading man. "I think I'd be more suited to King Lear!" he says. Martha is taken aback that he has gone from painting scenery to King Lear in a matter of moments. Ken realises that perhaps he is moving too fast. Martha then brings up Deirdre. She says that it's important to her that Deirdre is OK but if she is not OK then she doesn't want to know. She asks if Deirdre cried when Ken left. Ken, the love rat that he is, doesn't admit that he hasn't actually told her yet. "Poor Deirdre," says Martha when she takes it from Ken's silence that Deirdre took it hard. "Yes," says Ken, hand to forehead, "poor Deirdre." He actually looks like regret is setting in.

At the hospital Julie holds Colin's hand.

Gail has Darryl cutting the lawn at the Windass house as Anna walks up the street. Eddie Windass pulls up in a taxi with all of his stolen booze and starts to spin a yarn about how he scored it. Gail, in the meantime asks Anna to have the gardens sorted but the Windasses are not best pleased about it.

Martha and Ken are ready to head off. Martha asks Ken to untie the bow and to give the boat a little shove off from the canal side with the pole. Ken says, "Thank you for having me," as they make ready to leave. "Thank you for loving me," says Martha and she and Ken embrace.

Deirdre and Blanche are in the Rovers talking to Betty about something or other. Talk turns to Ken and where he had ever been in his life. Deirdre admits that Ken hasn't travelled much, apart from one trip to America once. "Did I tell you about our Gordon?" says Betty, turning the conversation away from Ken again. "He applied to go on Countdown..."

The Houseboat is getting ready to leave. Ken has untied the bow and giving it a little shove from the side as Martha requested. Martha lights some candles and makes her living room all romantic. She pulls away from the canal side and tells him that there is something for them to celebrate with in the bedroom- champagne on ice. She can't get a reply and shouts, "Ken? Ken?" As she pulls further away from the side we see Ken has changed his mind and is standing on the bridge over the canal with his suitcase. Martha realises what has happened and looks behind her to see him there. So he's chickened out. Will Ken get home in time to save Deirdre from reading that letter?

Stella McLoughlin


Wednesday 6 May

Luke's had a big win at the bookies, and as he takes his winnings he tells Peter not to look so depressed, and offers to buy him a drink. Peter declines, saying there's only so much orange juice a man can take. Just then Luke spots Ken coming up the road with his suitcase and asks Peter if he's been away. Peter stares at Ken for a moment, and then says he has no idea, but on second thoughts he will go for that drink. Ken walks into the house and looks for the letter he left Deirdre, but it's gone.

Julie sees Jason and tells him she's been to see Colin in hospital and he looked very old and frail. She says she doesn't know why she cares, but after all, he is still her father. Jason invites her in for a brew.

In the pub, Peter confesses to Luke that he's had a barney with his dad. Luke says he hasn't even spoken to his in ten years, he was always off with other women, and in the end he'd had enough.

Lloyd walks in, having a conversation on his mobile phone. He tells the person on the other end he'll ring back when he's booked a flight. He then sees Jack sitting there with Connie, with a plaster on his face. "Wounded Captain?" he asks. Jack tells him it's a flesh wound and Lloyd salutes him. Connie asks who it is and if the woman he's with is his wife. Jack explains that it's only Eileen who works for him, they're good mates. Connie remarks that there's a lot to be said for good friendship, at their age it's more important than romance.

Up at the bar, Eileen is convinced that everyone is talking about her - Jack and Connie included. Lloyd tells her to let them, she'll be five minute wonder and before long everyone will be talking about someone else.

Back at the Grimshaw's, Julie tells Jason that she was shocked by how broken Colin looked and how he still insisted he hadn't known of her existence. Jason asks if she believes him and she says she thinks she does, he looked at stunned as she was. Colin apparently wants to make amends, but she wonders what use that would be. "I don't know him, there's no history, no trust. He's just like some old man I've just met for the first time," she says. Jason points out that he's a lot more than that. Sean walks in then and tells her to look on the bright side, she's got a whole new family to get to know now. Julie exclaims that she hadn't thought of that and asks Jason who else there is, besides him and his mum. Sean urges Jason to go and get the family photo album and show her.

In the Barlow house, Ken hears Deirdre and Blanche come in, surprisingly talking about the price of bananas. Then they see him and to his surprise tell him to put the kettle on. Looking rather stunned and bewildered he obeys.

Luke and Peter are still in the pub, and Luke asks what he and Ken fell out about. Peter tells him it was nothing really, and Luke says that it was finding out he had half brothers and sisters all over Manchester that did it for him, he and his mother had known nothing about it. "Secrets and lies?" says Peter. Just then the door opens and Ken walks in. Luke tells Peter he'll leave him to it. Ken asks Peter if he's got the letter and Peter confirms that he has. "I knew you'd come crawling back," he says.

Julie's looking through the photo album asking about Todd, and Jason and Sean confirm that he's gay, but she's stunned to hear that he had a child with Sarah before he came out. "Your wife Sarah?" she asks, and Jason confirms it, but tells her that Billy died the day after he was born. She turns the page and sees a picture of Eileen with Colin taken in 1975. "So that's how he looked when he got my mother pregnant," she says, "the same age as Eileen is there!"

Peter gives Ken his letter back, explaining how he saw Deirdre come into the pub laughing a joking so he knew she hadn't read it. He popped home and took it to save her the misery. "So how did Martha take it?" he asks. Ken doesn't answer so Peter realises, with scorn, that he bottled it. He tells him if he'd any courage at all he'd have made up his mind and gone with it. "Why hurt one woman when you can hurt two?" he says. "So says the bigamist!" snaps Ken. Peter retorts that they know where he gets it from. He asks if Ken will show Deirdre the letter but Ken doesn't see any point in that. Peter says he could do the brave thing and tell her in the flesh, but Ken obviously doesn't do brave.

Minnie declines a night out with Amber and her old pals from college, saying they look down on her now that she works in a kebab shop. Amber tells her she was mad to pack in college for a dead end job like that. Darryl hears and, irritated, asks where that leaves him, as he's stuck in a dead end job. "Does that mean you don't want to know me?" he asks, adding that they might as well pack it in now, then he storms out the back.

Eileen arrives home and is not happy to see Julie and is even less happy that Jason is showing her the family photo album. Julie tells her she went to see Colin. "Who?" snaps Eileen. Julie says she understands how she feels, but he's really poorly. "Good!" mutters Eileen. Julie says she thinks he'd like to see her, but Eileen just retorts, "What about what I'd like?" and goes on to say that for forty years he's been spinning tales and worming his way in. Julie says he's sorry now, but Eileen shouts that sorry is just a word he chucks about like a used fiver. She then tells Julie she'd better go. Julie says she wants to get to know her new family, but Eileen doesn't want to be anywhere near anything that reminds her of her dad, so the less she sees of Julie the better. She shouts that if Julie goes back to see him she can tell him from her she hopes he rots in hell.

Tara goes to the flat to find Amber crying over her spat with Darryl. Tara points out that Darryl didn't say he didn't love her, it seems that he's insecure, sure that Amber will finish with him so he's getting in there first. She just think he needs lots of reassurance and the sooner the better. Amber is sure Darryl doesn't want to know, but Tara is sure he does and says it's good that he's saying how he feels, he's honest in his own way. She knows lots of men who aren't. Just then, who should walk in but Dev! He's delighted that his two favourite women seem to be getting on so well.

At the Barlow's, Ken is very subdued and doesn't object when Deirdre serves up chicken Kiev for dinner. She points out that she usually gets a lecture on processed food. She and Blanche worry that he's sickening for something, but he assures them that he's absolutely fine.

Jack walks Connie to the bus stop and she asks if he'd like to go to bingo with him. He stops short and then tells her that Vera used to go to bingo. Connie apologises and said she wouldn't have asked if she'd known. Jack says that anyway, they don't want to be gossiped about. She wonders if it's Tyrone that he's really worried about and he tells her that there is a bit of that as well.

Amber goes back to see Darryl and tells him that she didn't mean that he had a dead end job, she just hated to see Minnie drifting from one thing to another. He says he's sorry for kicking off but admits that he's worried about them, she's going to be two hundred miles away. He's also worried that he's not good enough for her and she assures him there's no one better than him. "Even though I work in a kebab shop?" he asks. "You run a kebab shop," she tells him, pointing out that her dad couldn't do it. The place would go under without him in it, and she loves him. He tells her he loves her too and kisses her.

Julie is sobbing after Eileen's treatment of her and phones her mum.

Back in the Grimshaw house, Jason is annoyed with Eileen. "You played a blinder there, mum," he says, and Sean says he thinks she went a bit over the top. Eileen explodes at both of them, telling Sean it's none of his business and telling Jason he had no right showing Julie her photo album. Jason says they're all family whether Eileen likes it or not, but Eileen yells that she's not her family and starts smashing crockery!

Over a glass of wine, Dev asks Tara what she and Amber were talking about. Tara just says it was girl talk. Dev worries that Amber's pregnant or on drugs but Tara assures him that she's a sensible girl and explains that she'd just had a little tiff with Darryl. He asks when he can see her pictures but she says they'll just get the art project out of the way first. He hugs her and tells her how happy he is and sometimes thinks he'll wake up and find it was all a dream. He asks if she ever feels like that but she assures him it's all very, very real.

Blanche goes off to bed and Deirdre asks Ken if he's ok. He says he's just tired so she offers him a whisky and says he needs some TLC. She then says she's going off for a bath, and then leans over to him, murmuring that he could come and scrub her back if he fancied it. He manages a weak smile and she heads off up the stairs, and then his expression turns to one of horror!

Anne Logan


Friday 8 May

Hello. Your updater is fresh from a semi-mini-ping (well, a buffet of yummy Indian food with Diane, Annie, John and Nikki) in Manchester. But enough of that and on with Friday's update:

It's breakfast-time at the Barlows' and Blanche is going on about the fact that there is no cream on the top of the wholemilk (it's homogenised, Blanche!). Ken snaps at her, worrying Deirdre. She thinks he's been having bad dreams.

Jason rings the hospital to see whether he can go and see Colin later on. Eileen asks him who he was speaking to and he lies. She doesn't look convinced.

Deirdre steps outside to find out where the paper's got to and meets Peter, who enters the house.

Ken says he'll go to the Kabin himself to find out what's happened to the paper. Peter suggests he buys a paper they can all read - one with a bit of gossip, such as which actress is sleeping with which married man. Peter tells Ken to have a nice day and goes off with Blanche.

Eileen calls in at the Kabin and tells Rita that no, she doesn't know how her father is. Tina brings their cuppas through and chips in with her own opinion about Colin. Ken comes in to re-start the paper and Rita asks Eileen if she fancies a word. Eileen suggests they go to hers because Jason is out. As soon as they've gone, Tina asks Ken what he thinks about it all. He tells her he's got no interest.

Jason arrives at the hospital. Colin asks after Eileen. He says he wants to explain properly and asks if they're all talking about him. He tells Jason he likes women who have something about them, not lasses. He was probably flattered by Paula's attention. It never seemed like abuse. He said he thought his punishment was never being able to find a woman who was a patch on Jason's gran. He gets quite tearful and makes Jason cry. Colin intends to discharge himself as soon as he's back on his feet.

Tyrone's busy using a broom as a pogo stick when Molly arrives. She tells him he's not busy because the garage needs to be advertised. He's more worried about whether Jack's going to see Connie. Molly tells him the garage is their future.

Rita apologises to Eileen for Tina, but Eileen says Tina was just saying what everyone else would be saying. Rita says it's not the first time she's been let down by a fella. But Colin is still Eileen's father. Eileen says she might not be able to change that, but she can make sure he never hurts her or her family again. She doesn't want to hear anything he's got to say.

Deirdre's surprised Ken doesn't have any washing to be done. Ken asks her to sit down and hands her the letter he wrote when he left. I paused it so you won't have to: "Deirdre, I can't begin to tell you how difficult this has been for me to make a decision in which i must hurt the people around me and woman i know has been by my side and tolerated me in more ways than i dare remember. Forgive me but this letter is my goodbye to you, to us, to the me i can't bare to be anymore. Deirdre, for some time now i have... lady who i can only..." [sorry, the whole thing wasn't on the screen, though it's clear that Ken, with his English degree, didn't write it - he would have written a capital I, spelt "bear" properly and used "whom" where it was necessary. I'd say a props person, probably female, judging by the handwriting]. Deirdre purses her lips and turns the page, Ken watching anxiously. "So, you're leaving me," she says. Ken tells her he's not. He's chosen her. "So, I suppose I should be grateful you've just had an affair? What do you want, Ken? Understanding? A round of applause?" She tells him she probably knew. Ken's been absent for weeks. He wants to know why she didn't say, but she tells him there was nothing she could say and there's nothing she can say now. She can't understand why he's shown her the letter if the affair is over. "What made you think I'd want to read that?"

Jack's on the phone to Connie, arranging to see her, when Tyrone and Molly arrive home. Molly thinks the very name "Webster's Auto Centre" puts the garage at a disadvantage. Everything comes before "Webster" in the phone book. "Yorkshire doesn't," Tyrone says. Molly points out they're not in Yorkshire, but Tyrone and Jack are familiar with Yorkshire Garage at the back of the precinct. Tyrone asks Jack whether he'll be seeing Connie. Jack might. Molly doesn't like "Auto Centre" either and Tyrone, his head swinging like a tennis umpire's, tells her it was Sally's idea. Jack goes off to get changed, telling Tyrone he's going to the Legion, leaving Tyrone's right flank open for another attack by Molly, telling him Dobbs comes before Webster alphabetically. "Dobbs and Webster's - what do you think?"

Deirdre's gone around to Eileen's to tell her about Ken.

David's hatching a scheme with Graeme. He wants them to discuss burglaries they've been doing, saying just enough to let Gary Windass hear before they shut up. Graeme tries to divert the conversation by wondering about why lamb is called lamb (if cow is called beef, deer is called venison and pig is called pork, why is lamb lamb?). Then he tries so get David to tell him details of the burglaries so he can get into the role properly.

"I think Ken's got a flippin' cheek showing you this - it's almost as if he wants you to feel sorry for him," Eileen tells Deirdre, chucking down the letter in disgust. Deirdre says it's as if Ken's searching for something. It's like when he was trying to write his novel. Eileen tells her that living with a guilty secret is difficult and she bets Ken feels a lot better now he's told Deirdre "and you're the one having to deal with it." Deirdre looks thoughtful.

Peter leaves the cafe and meets his dad. Ken tells him he's shown Deirdre the letter and now he can't find her. He worries that she's done "something stupid" but Peter scoffs at this.

On Maxine's bench, Jason and Tina discuss Colin. "You should have seen him. He looked half the size he was last time I saw him - just a sick old man." Tina says that doesn't change what Colin did, but Jason asks what can Colin do now. "You know, in that hospital bed he weren't some evil man preying on a young lass. He were just a frightened old man - my Grandad. Whatever he's done, he'll always be that." Tina apologises for mouthing off. She says she never thought what Colin meant to Jason.

Ken is relieved to see Deirdre arrive home but she says all those times he was much later than this, she didn't worry a bit. "Maybe I should have." She goes out into the yard and lights a cigarette. Ken says they need to talk. He says he chose to be there with her. "You don't know how pathetic you really are, do you?" she asks. She tells him he burnt his novel not because it was rubbish but because it might have been. He lost his nerve and thought someone who knew could tell that it was boring nonsense. Now he's done the same with this woman. "You bottled it." She knows why he showed her the letter. It was to force Deirdre to throw him out so he could go running back to the other woman with a clear conscience. "I tried to make a go of it, but Deirdre threw me out." Ken says that makes sense except for one thing: "Yes, Martha might be the perfect woman, but she's not you. I was to spend my life with you because I love you, I respect you and yes, I need you." Deirdre thinks that's all very well, but she's not so sure she needs Ken. She turns her back on him.

In the house, Blanche arrives home fuming about menopausal women who run charity shops. It doesn't take her long to spy the letter on the table and, of course, she can't resist reading it.

Jason arrives home and tells Eileen he's been to the hospital. Eileen's annoyed. She thinks Colin's using Jason to get to Eileen, Paula and Rita. But Jason says Colin might be stupid and pathetic, but he's still Eileen's dad. "He's talking about discharging himself because he doesn't deserve to be cared for, and all you're interested in is picking of me. Well I'm sick of it."

Ken and Deirdre find Blanche reading the letter. Deirdre tells her it's Ken's farewell not. "Only being Ken, it's more of a long letter." Deirdre says cynically that Ken did leave but came back, "Lucky me." Blanche tells Deirdre she should have had Ken "done" years ago. Ken reminds her that it's his house. But Deirdre says it wouldn't be for much longer if she took the letter to a solicitor. She puts the letter away and turns back to face her mother and her husband, announcing she wants nothing more said about it. Blanche is aghast. "He wants chucking in the gutter!" Deirdre says emphatically: "I don't want to hear any mention of this ever again!" Ken thanks her. Blanche doesn't know which of the two disgusts her more. Deirdre rounds on her, telling her she doesn't want to hear another word, and if that doesn't suit Blanche then she can go! "I don't want you telling me what I should and shouldn't do any more! If you can't keep your mouth shut you can get out!

The end of Part One.

Margaret Carr

(who thinks Blanche should join Norris and Mary on their round-the-world van trip - that's one road movie I'd love to see!)

Well I need to get this done quickly as in a few hours I am on business trip to Milan.

So on with the motley and the back streets of Weatherfield. Margaret ended with Blanche's eviction from Number One, as Deirdre faced up to her mother obviously blaming her for Ken's infidelities. Well quite right Deirdre at your age you should not be living with your mother any longer - but surely you would have done better to evict both of them?

As Blanche observes - Ken is the one who has made a fool of Dreary and she is getting chucked out on the Street? Is she really that desperate to save the pathetic sham of a marriage. Dreary is throwing her out because she knows that Blanche will bring the subject up at the slightest provocation for the next 50 years were she to live that long. Blanche points out that it can hardly be swept under the carpet. Deirdre loses it and tells her to shut up. Ken can hardly believe his ears but Blanche sends him upstairs to get her case - the one with the wheels. Once packed Blanche says she will not get far with a loaded case but is ignored by Deirdre. Blanche protests and even Ken says he did not want the two of them falling out and asks for a civilized discussion but perfect silence is the only response and Blanche leaves the building, presumably to join Elvis. Outside Kirk passes and asks if she is away on her holidays - her grimace in response is enough to put a grown man off his dinner, but luckily I had finished mine by the time this episode came on. She responds that she is going to Hell in a handcart which Kirk grins and says that is different!

Jason tells Lloyd about the row with Eileen because he had been to see Colin. All Jason wants is for Eileen to see Colin before ... well anything happens. Lloyd tells Jason it is a lot to ask of her and Jason agrees and says he should have said nothing. Lloyd reassures him telling him that Eileen is as tough as old boots. A shot of a tearful Eileen looking through the window somehow tells a different story.

Tara the little minx is still winding up Dev. She calls him pathetic and jealous of Justin who may have seen Tara with no clothes on. However she clearly has a little plan up her sleeve.

Paula arrives to see Julie and Kirk and Chesney disappear to leave them alone to talk. Julie admits that she is not OK indeed she is very far from being OK. After a while Paula decides she has to tell her side of the story. She had a crush on Colin - handsome, funny and boys of her own age seemed so childish in comparison. She did flirt with him and one day he put his arms around her and kissed her. Paula was not scared - she was proud of herself that a man would take her seriously. She thought they were in love - and now realises that she was a daft cow - but then she loved every minute of it. Until she found she was pregnant and she told her mother about it. Her mother had never raised a hand to her before that day (hard to believe, in those days of yore all children were brought up with a modicum of proper discipline). She had never told Colin because she was never allowed to see him again. Her father had told Eileen's mother and they moved within a week. Paula was made to promise that she would say nothing and she went along with it - Julie was a lovely baby, but Paula could not cope. And the two are reconciled in mutual tears.

Ken and Deirdre are having tea. Ken cannot believe how calmly she is behaving. As she points out she cannot be bothered to shout and carry on. She is exhausted, his actions have knocked her for six, but nothing she says will change anything. He tells her he is grateful for another chance - but as she points out he was too spineless to leave and perhaps she is too spineless to throw him out - so they are stuck with each other until they die.

At the cab office Eileen admits to Lloyd that she is in two minds over Colin. He is old and very ill and he needs his family Lloyd points out suggesting that she goes to the hospital. He relieves her on the switch and she goes.

At the bookies Michelle claims she does not know what to get Ryan for his tea - just no ideas. Graeme (best newcomer in a soap I gather) says that he does not - but then he did used to be a chef and loved working with fire. She turns the screens off - it is time to shut the shop and throws him out. Peter suggests that she and Ryan might like to join him and Simon with a stir fry and perhaps Ryan could help Simon get to the next level on his new game. She smiles and agrees to turn up at half past six.

Gary collects his wages from Joe, tries to chat up Tina and David continues to be a smarming friend. Normality does exist but not in the Platt household.

In the Rovers Dev is apologising for his earlier bad behaviour and temper although I predict he will not be so happy shortly. Tara again starts on his about being happy and trusting each other and there being no secrets. He agrees they should have everything out in the open and he confirms that he has no secrets - hand on heart!

David and Graeme arrive in the Rovers and they are clearly play acting for the benefit of Gary who can overhear. David is claiming to have money and that he has another nice little earner about to come his way. Gary wants to know what gives and asks if they have been robbing stuff. But David denies - apparently they were talking about a film they had both seen. Gary finds it hard to believe them and finishing his pint first he then leaves the Rovers. Anyway it looks like Gary has taken the bait and so David asks Graeme if he can borrow various electronic bits and pieces for the next stage of his plan.

In Peter's flat Ryan is going into town to see a mate which leaves Peter and Michelle to share a pudding which Peter has managed to defrost. She moves closer and suggests perhaps they could skip the food. And they are getting close to kissing when Blanche pops through the door and asks if they are decent. She has let her suitcase at the bottom of the stairs. She has decided that Peter can sleep in the bottom of Simon's bunk beds and she will have his bed - and he had better change the sheets. She explains that she has been evicted by her own daughter. Michelle decides the time has come to beat a hasty retreat! Blanche announces that she is staying for the duration and wonders what there is for tea.

All appears to be sweetness and light between Dev and Tara now. Dev has decided to ask Tara to marry him and Amber looks excited as he tells her. He takes off his wedding ring and passes it to Amber telling her that is history and it can be put away. He is going to use the event on Monday to make a very public declaration of his feelings.

In the Rovers Julie is telling Paula that she is glad they have been given a second chance. She just wishes she had been told sooner. Paula tells her that there would have been no point - it would have hurt many people. But Julie says at least she could have known her father - but as Paula points out he is not worth knowing. Julie says she knows he took advantage of a very young girl but maybe that is not all of him - Paula reacts badly to this believing that Julie not going to forgive her and storms out of the Rovers.

Surprise, surprise Eileen arrives at the hospital and sees just how old and ill Colin has suddenly become. He can hardly pick up a newspaper to read. She approaches the bed. He sees she has come and bursts into tears. She is shocked by the complete change in his appearance, the loss of his self assurance as he cries openly. He eventually thanks her for coming and Eileen asks "What for?". He said that he thought he would never see her again and he would not have blamed her for staying away. She almost smiles and points out that she there now. He said the stroke felt like his heart breaking and he is sorry for what he has done. She says that it is the first time he has sounded remorseful. He tells her that he has had a lot of thinking time and he realises how he would have felt if she had been involved with a much older man. He would have knocked the living daylights out of him. He knew he had destroyed his marriage and ruined everything for Eileen and her mother. He caused terrible trouble between Eileen and Paula and Julie. She tells him to concentrating on resting and getting better. He says that it means everything to him that she has come to the hospital and can forgive him. Eileen shatters his illusions - her presence does not mean that his sins are forgiven. He asks if she will forgive him in the future. She thinks this is asking too much. He asks for forgiveness but Eileen is not prepared to do that and she also tells him to stay away from Jason and then she departs the hospital room.

The closing shot is of Colin, alone, rejected by nearly everyone and Eileen having turned her back on him, weeping.

And if I get back safely from Milan I will be hear again for Friday's update.

Cheers

K Richard W


Monday 11 May

Hello! I'm covering Diane's episode this week while she's off gallivanting here there and everywhere so there's two from me. Ooh, it's a doozy too. Poor old Dev, eh?

Episode 1

At Dev's flat, Dev wants to take Tara to breakfast but Tara tells him she is too busy. She thinks that Dev doesn't quite understand how important today will be for them but Dev has other plans up his sleeve and knows just how important he wants it to be. Tara leaves and Amber and Dev talk about going out ring-shopping for Tara. Amber is very excited about the prospect of Tara becoming part of the family.

At Eileen's house, Eileen tells Jason that she went to see Creepy Colin at the hospital and that they talked. She tells Jason that she won't be seeing Colin any more. Eileen leaves. Jason blames himself for Eileen's decision not to see her father. He says he wants to sort it out.

Out in the street, Julie sees Kirk and Fizz and shows them a text from her mother that she received this morning. Julie's not happy about it and claims that Paula would have been drunk when she sent it. Julie thinks that Paula feels like the victim in all this and lets her mother really upset her. When Fizz and Kirk calm her down she tells them that she doesn't know what she'd do without them and that they are her family now. "At this rate, you'll be the only family I've got left!" Fizz assures her that she and Kirk are not going anywhere.

At Peter's, Blanche is moaning about Peter's choice of newspaper. Peter is losing patience with Blanche who then complains about Peter's bed in which she lay in agony all night. Simon joins them at the table and they talk a little bit about breakfast and healthy eating. Blanche, undermining Peter's dietary choices for Simon, promises that she will make Simon a nice big fry up another day and will buy him a bacon butty on the way to school today as well.

Out on the street a silver Mercedes B Class (which I was far too excited about but it's my car! Same colour and everything!) drives past Jason and Gary Windass. Gary is upset that he's not getting any work. David overhears Gary moaning about not having any money. After Gary leaves, he asks Jason what the argument was about.

In the factory, the Underworld machinists are singing along quite happily to Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel's "(Come up and see me) make me smile". Everyone, that is, except Julie who is stewing over the text from Paula. The girls and Sean ask what Eileen's take is on all of this. They urge her to let Eileen take her time to come round to the idea of having a half sister. Janice thinks that Julie is better off without Eileen if she is refusing to acknowledge Julie as her sister.

At Peter's, Michelle is with Blanche, asking her if she has picked a winner from the racing pages. Michelle brings Blanche a hot water bottle. Peter comes home and is in a bad mood. He accuses Blanche of invading his home, undermining his authority with Simon and stealing his only member of staff. "You've made your own bed, " he says to her, "and you've stolen mine!" Michelle sticks up for Blanche, reminding Peter that Blanche had nowhere else to go. He accuses Blanche of having Michelle wrapped around her little finger. Michelle lets Peter have his little rant and then tells him she will come and make him a nice brew downstairs. Apparently, Peter can't operate the kettle on his own any more. Anyway, Blanche thinks that, "sounds smashing!"

David Platt (boo! hiss!) comes into Roy's Rolls where he sees Gary Windass at a table. He asks Gary about his work and wonders if Gary is at a loose end and could they do a little bit of business together? David digs into his bag and pulls out a mobile phone and offers it to Gary for half retail price. Gary tells David he is skint but before David leaves he mentions to Gary about his "credit terms".

On another table, Poppy is asking Tara if she is having second thoughts about binning Dev. Tara has none. Hayley brings over two teas and tells Tara how excited she and Roy are about the new art installation. Tara mentions that it might be shocking. Hayley thinks that art should be shocking and challenging. When Hayley leaves, Poppy can see that Tara has some sort of payback for Dev up her sleeve. Tara says, "Come to the show later and all will be revealed in glorious detail!"

Mary drives her big camper van into the street and sees Emily. Dev and Amber climb out of Dev's car talking about the gigantic diamond that Dev has bought for Tara. They see Darryl who asks Dev about the new suit that Dev also appears to have bought. Dev will not say what it's for though.

Mary is talking to Emily about Rita and how she should put all that unpleasant business with Colin behind her. She will be happy once it is all done and dusted and she and Norris can get on the road. Emily seems surprised that their trip is still on. Mary is simply looking forward to it. Across the street, Kirk and Jason are looking at the camper van and after having a couple of words about it, start talking about Julie and Eileen. Jason is concerned for Julie when Kirk tells him that he doesn't think Julie can take many more knockbacks. Jason thinks it's all getting well out of hand. Jason wants to get Julie and Eileen together- sit them down in the Rovers- neither Julie nor Eileen allowed to leave- until they have it all sorted between them.

In the bookies, Blanche is telling Michelle about the lovely new bookies near the arcade while Peter listens in, rolling his eyes. Blanche remarks that at the new bookies, you get free beverages. When Peter points out that Blanche gets free drinks here, Blanche replies, "Theirs are worth drinkin'!" Luke Strong comes in to collect some winnings- it seems he is quite a lucky bloke. "Lucky in life, unlucky in love," he says. But really, he is lying and reckons that he is beating the women off. He mentions though that he would like to take Michelle out to dinner sometime. Michelle doesn't answer. Ken comes into the bookies but Blanche doesn't have anything to say to either him or Deirdre until Deirdre has apologises.

Peter and Ken step outside where Peter tells Ken that Blanche is driving him mental. Ken tells Peter that Deirdre will not back down either. Peter wonders what effect it will have on Simon (a weak argument if ever I heard one). Michelle pops her head out and tells Peter he's needed inside since Luke and Blanche are going halvsies on a 12-1. Peter jokes that Blanche would drive anyone to drink. Ken doesn't think it's funny but Peter tells him that he was thinking about drinking anti-freeze.

In the Kabin, Mary and Norris are talking. Norris is using Rita as an excuse for not going travelling with Mary. Emily comes in and Mary asks Emily to tell Norris that Rita is ready to move on. Emily is reluctant to interfere. Mary has rented out her house and is ready to leave any minute. She tells Norris that as soon as he is ready to go, she will be waiting right outside, in "the beast". When Mary leaves, Emily tells Norris that Mary is currently parked right outside their house. They can't believe that when Mary said she would be right outside, she actually meant right outside.

Tara is getting ready in the street for her big unveiling of the new art. Dev is begging the DJ to play a James Blunt song and explains that he will be proposing to Tara. The DJ is reluctant but agrees eventually. Minnie has turned up to have her photo taken for the paper and prances about a bit. Amber is amazed that Dev is looking so chilled and relaxed when he is getting ready to propose to Tara but Dev is quite confident that all will go to plan. "Don't ever tell anyone this," Tara says to her dad, "but sometimes, you're my hero!" She is happy for Dev.

Kirk has explained to Julie about her having a drink with Eileen until they sort themselves out. Julie will go and she will listen to what Eileen has to say. Julie couldn't agree more that they need to sort it all out. Julie goes into the Rovers where Eileen is waiting and chatting with Jason and Sean. Julie refuses a seat and tells the assembled crowd that would rather have this discussion with Eileen, "toe to toe, like." Eileen says that she knows that Julie is angry but that doesn't go down well with Julie who accuses her of knowing her emotions already. Julie really is angry and tells Eileen that when Eileen said the other day that there was nothing between them as sisters that she hurt her but it was true and the shouldn't pretend otherwise. Both ladies are riled up and Eileen tells Julie that if she doesn't want to try to get along then it's Julie's loss. "You can't lose what you never had, Eileen," says Julie and she walks away when Eileen turns her back on her. Jason is dumbfounded at his mother's behaviour.

Back out in the street, there is quite a gathering. Blanche and Peter and Simon are there. Blanche wants to give Simon junk food. Peter asks her not to to no avail. Amber sees Tara and asks her if she is nervous. Tara is about to tell Amber that she is sorry for what is about to happen when she sees Dev schmoozing with another woman out of the corner of her eye. "Amber, I wish..... " she says and then changes her mind, "I wish this day would never end." Tara takes her place on the podium and talks a little about the work of art she is about to unveil- an image of truth in all its ugly glory. Dev interrupts her and the DJ starts playing James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" (I tell you, if any man ever played that song to me, I'd be tempted to give him a kick up the backside.) Dev joins her on the podium and pours out his heart to her. He introduces Tara as another work of art. Tara is shocked and tries to interrupt him but he gets down on one knee and says, "My world was empty before I met you, Tara, a blank canvas. Become my wife, make it a masterpiece?" Everyone sighs at the romantic gesture. Tara doesn't though. She says, "I'm sorry, but I don't deal in fakes!" and unveils a giant picture of Dev, naked, but for a spray-painted word across his "bits". LIAR it says, bitter and in bright red. The crowd's mouths are agape and Dev is devastated.

2nd Episode

Dev is still down on one knee as Simon shouts at the top of his voice, "That man's got no clothes on!" Dev gets up and asks what the hell's going on. "You can read, can't you? Liar!" Tara shouts and she throws her champagne over Dev and walks off. Dev runs after her but Tara runs after Dev and asks him why Tara would have done this. Tara, who is standing with Poppy tells Dev that she knows about Lisa. "Another one of his tarts," she tells Amber, "like my mother. Only this one was younger and much more recent." Dev tries to understand that Tara has been planning this for weeks. Umed tells Dev, "I never trusted her, her mouth is too wide, it's a liar's mouth." Tara reminds Dev that Umed is the liar as the giant poster clearly states. Dev demands an explanation for his humiliation from Tara. They storm through the crowd who are singing the Stripper song to Dev as he pushes through. Blanche is still looking at the poster and says, "I feel like brillo padding my eyeballs." There are more catcalls from the crowd and Pam takes a photo of the poster on her mobile.

In the pub, Jason and Sean are trying to get Eileen to be more supportive of Julie in this difficult time. Meanwhile, over the other side of the bar, Kirk is talking to Julie who has realised that the only person you can usually rely on is yourself. Julie and Eileen throw dagger looks at each other across the bar. David and Graham are at another table talking about David's evil plot to get Gary Windass into trouble. Graham wants all his stuff back. He needs his iPod back for his "butchings". Gary comes into the bar and asks Sean for, "A lager thanks, flower." Gary heads over to David and Graham and asks to see what David has for sale in his bag.

Out in the street, Blanche is wondering if that one picture of Dev starkers is all they were waiting on. Luke asks Michelle if she wants to go for a drink in the Rovers but Peter interrupts and tells him that they are taking Simon for a pizza. Blanche naturally assumes she will be invited and starts to tell them a that she has a funny anecdote about beetroot. Michelle thinks that it's hilarious. Darryl is comforting Amber and tells a newspaper reporter to bog off before they turn away.

At Dev's Tara barges into the flat where Dev has decorated it with loads of flowers and balloons in anticipation of their engagement. He tells Tara that because she walked out on him that he got drunk and found solace in Lisa. Tara accuses him of using the Friends defense, "We were on a break. Is that it?" She tells Dev that she gave him plenty of chances to come clean about Lisa but Dev didn't. Dev knows that if he had confessed about sleeping with Lisa Tara would not have forgiven him and he tells her that after what he has seen of Tara today, he can't help feeling like he has had a lucky escape. As expected, this doesn't go down well with Tara. Ta ra, Tara! (See what I did there?)

Out in the street, again, Paula is shouting through a letter box for Julie. Eileen sees her and realises she is three sheets to the wind. Eileen takes Paula home to her house for a nice cup of hot black coffee. Norris comes out onto the street from the Kabin when he sees Peter, Blanche et al coming from Tara's art thing. They explain about the poster of Dev, naked and 10 foot high, "Like something out of the Kama Sutra... I can't believe you missed it, Norris." Norris runs off to see what they are talking about.

A reporter is trying to get Tara to talk but is chased off from the kebab shop by Teresa and Umed. Tara is embarrassed and can't bear to think about this going all around the school. Tara is also upset that Tara has gone to such trouble to humiliate Dev who had planned everything so perfectly for the proposal. "I was so excited that he was gonna propose. We had it sorted down to the last detail. And then it turns out that he's a cheat and she's a psycho who's been planning this spectacle for weeks....." Poor Amber is upset about everything all at once. Teresa says, "They can be funny things, families."

Mary has come to Emily's with bags filled with groceries. She has come to cook dinner for the three of them even though Emily has already made something and won't take no for an answer. She regales Emily with some stories about Mother who sounds very wearing. "She was very dear to me, mother," says Mary, "but there were times I could have cheerfully strangled her." Mary chuckles.

At the kebab shop, Darryl asks everyone to leave so he and Amber can have some time together. (Why don't they go to Darryl's place above the shop?) Umed thinks that Tara is using Amber at Dev's place to try and get back in with Dev. "I flamin' hope not!" exclaims Tara, horrified at the thought, "I don't want that psycho anywhere near me ever again." She is sad that they won't be a proper family now and feels let down that Tara has been pretending to be her best friend while planning this cruel stunt but then she wonders if Dev drove Tara to it. Teresa, in one of the best exchanges in Corrie this year says, "Well, I can't say I've always been the best mother in the world..." while Darryl interrupts with a faux-incredulous, "Get away!" (Brilliant! I can't tell you how many times I have rewound that bit and laughed)... back to Teresa, "but you don't stop making mistakes just because you have kids. You can still be as embarrassing and daft and selfish as you ever were" Tara isn't being forgiving though and asks Darryl if she can stay with him tonight. "As far as my dad's concerned, he can swing!"

Eileen and Paula are at Eileen's house. Paula feels a bit sick and feels daft for drinking the way she has been. She just wants to get back to normal with Julie and thinks that Julie blames her for what has happened. Eileen tells Julie that there's only one person to blame for all this and they both know who it is. (Colin, in case you hadn't guessed). Eileen offers to help in way to get things back on track with Julie.

In the pub, Pam is gossiping about the naked poster if Dev and shows Sean the photo she took with her phone. Sean asks her if it's appropriate, her showing the photo about and then asks her to send it to him. "I can even bluetooth it to you, if you like!" says Pam. Peter and Michelle come into the bar. Peter is glad to have finally got rid of Blanche but Michelle thinks Blanche is a scream. Luke comes over and offers to buy them both a drink.

Sean is over at a table showing the photo of Giant Naked Dev on his phone to Julie and Kirk and gossiping. Julie has a wee bit of a moan. Sean thinks that Julie's situation would be like an episode of "Who Do You Think You Are" but then thinks better of making light of the situation. Julie says how ironic it is that now she has found her dad, she has lost her mum.

Ryan comes into the pub and tells Michelle about the van that was supposed to take all his band's gear to their gig tonight but has broken down. Luke steps in with a solution- he will let them borrow a van from the factory and he is the hero of the hour. All to impress Michelle, see. When Michelle thanks Luke profusely, Peter looks like he's sucking on a lemon. Michelle also mentions that Ryan and his friends have been trying to get tickets to a band's gig but have been unsuccessful.

Dev is in his flat, crying and leaving a phone message for Amber- asking her to give him a chance to explain. "I love you little girl," he says has Tara listens in, also crying. Tara is all packed and leaves. Both of them are crying by this time.

Norris walks across the street and is harangued by Eileen who wants to know when the camper van will be moved. Paula is outside Eileen's house saying goodbye as she sees Julie coming up the street. She goes to talk to Julie and Eileen goes inside. Paula apologises for the text from last night. Julie tells her mum that she doesn't want to fall out with her and Kirk invites Paula into theirs to have an Indian takeaway for dinner.

Tara sees Amber on the street and tries to apologise but Amber just turns to Darryl and says, "Let's go home." Tara turns to look behind her after Amber has gone and looks a little bit regretful.

Peter is on his phone at home while Blanche shouts the answer to a quiz show question at the TV, "The arch duke Ferdinand!" Peter rushes out to Ryan's gig and thanks Blanche for babysitting Simon while he goes out. Blanche, convinced that Peter is getting a cold, thrusts a thermometer into Peter's mouth while shouting, "The arch duke Ferdinand, you stupid woman!" Peter realises that the thermometer Blanche is using is different from normal. "It's rectal," she explains, "but it's been through the dishwasher."

At Emily's house, Norris is telling Emily and Mary about Dev's poster. Emily asks them about their trip. Mary tells them that tonight she has made them all dishes from places she and Norris plan to visit. Norris brings up the legality of Mary living in her van in the street but Mary thinks it won't be for long, will it?

Peter meets Michelle and Ryan and Luke on the street and tells Ryan that he has secured a place for Ryan and his plus one a place on the guest list of the gig he and his friend couldn't get tickets to. Michelle tells Peter he's a star and gives him a hug as Luke looks on, jealously.

Julie calls in at Eileen's house to thank Eileen for talking to Paula the way she did. She gives Eileen a bottle of wine as thanks. "You didn't have to do that, sis," says Eileen. They look forward to getting used to being sisters.

Dev is at home, alone surrounded by flowers and balloons. He opens a card which Amber has left as congratulations on Dev & Amber's engagement. Dev reads it and breaks down in tears.

Stella McLoughlin


Wednesday 13 May

Jason gets a call from Colin, who's threatening to discharge himself. Alarmed, Jason urges him not to do anything until he gets there later.

Norris comes downstairs to find Mary there, offering him one of ‘Mary's Morning Mix-Ups'. Emily tells him it's a fry up, and she's already declined. Norris refuses too, saying he needs some bran, but will spare her the reasons why. Ever cheerful, Mary tells them she's a very good cook, apparently her devils on horseback were the talk of their cul de sac! She then turns to Norris and invites him to dinner later. "You and me, what do you say?"

Eileen goes into the Kabin to buy a Gazette with Dev's picture on the front, but they've sold out. Rita asks how Colin is and Eileen tells her he'll be out soon so she can ask him herself. Rita wonders where he's going to go, but Eileen says it's not her problem, Social Services will have to sort something out, she's just glad she can be friends with Paula and Julie again.

Jason goes round to Gail's and tells Joe that the man at the development has paid up, and hands over a grand in cash. David offers to take it to the bank for Joe, and he agrees, after taking half of it for petty cash and other bits a pieces. "Thanks David, you're a good lad," he says. (Is he mad?) He then steps out into the garden and makes a phone call, telling the person on the other end that he has some money for them.

Dev's on the phone, leaving Tara yet another voicemail message begging her to call him. Umed tells him to leave the poor girl alone, and waves a copy of the Gazette in front of him. The headline reads: "Local Shopkeeper Exposed!" Umed tells him they need to talk about it, he's bought every copy in the shop in an attempt at damage limitation, but he assumes the paper is read far and wide. Dev moans that he was supposed to be engaged today, and what is he? A laughing stock!

Jason sees Julie and tells her what Colin is planning to do. She's horrified and says she'll take some time off work and go to the hospital. "Oh and Jason," she adds, "you're coming with me!"

Dev goes into the kebab shop to be greeted by Theresa. "Hiya big fella! And how often does big mean five storeys?" Amber pushes past him out of the door, telling him she's got A-Levels to pass so she can get as far away from him as possible.

Gary has gone into the cafe and is trying to wangle some freebies from his mum. She tells him that Hayley's only changing the loo roll in the toilets and will be back in at any minute. David walks in and hears all this, and pulls the wad of banknotes out of his pocket. Quickly adding one of his own to the pile he then flashes the cash and buys Gary the bacon bap he wanted.

Potted plant in hand, Norris knocks on the door of the camper van, and it's opened by Mary, dressed up to the nines in a strapless purple evening gown. She admires the orchid and thanks him and invites him in, telling him she lit a joss stick as the fishy smell was lingering. She hands him and cocktail and as they sit down she tells him that to the untrained eye it might look as if they were sitting on a sofa, but both she and he knows with one flip of a switch it flips out and becomes bed number one! Norris seems a little flustered and tries to change the subject, commenting on the roominess of the motor home. Mary moves in closer and tells him that it is, but once inside it teeters on the snug. Just then the cooker timer goes off and Mary leads him to the table.

Colin is struggling to button up his shirt, but when the nurse asks how on earth he's going to manage on his own if he can't even do that, he growls that he'll manage. Just then Julie and Jason walk in and ask if he's still insisting on discharging himself. The nurse sighs, and says, "What do you think?" Julie tries to help him with his shirt but he pushes her away, telling her to leave him alone. She tells him they can't leave him alone, he won't be able to manage on his own if he's struggling with the most basic of tasks. He gets upset then. "I'm going home whether you like it or not," he sobs.

Back at the Rovers, Poppy gives Dev a drink and says it's on her, and confesses that she's been telling tales out of school. Her explanation is that Tara put the pressure on her big time. She says that she had no idea Tara would go so public. He admits he may have had a lucky escape, and then Poppy looks coyly at him and tells him it was a good photo!

Gail asks Joe where he went to, and he says he just needed to go and get some bits for work. "But you came back empty handed," Gail points out. Joe immediately goes on the defensive. "What's this? A cross examination?" he snaps. Just then David walks in and gives Joe the receipt for paying in the money. As he's leaving, David bumps into Gary who asks if he's going to buy him a pint as he had so much money on him earlier. "Where did you get it from?" he asks. David hisses at him not to ask in public.

In the hospital, Colin tries to get himself up and out, but falls down. Julie and Jason help him into a chair, and Julie asks Jason if they can't take him back to Eileen's house. "Oh me mam would love that!" says Jason, but then realises that they don't really have time to do anything else.

Meanwhile, Mary is trying to spoon feed Norris with chocolate mousse, embarrassed he accuses her of putting too much brandy in the cooking. "You're quite a different lady," he says. "Who am I?" she asks, "Sheena Easton? Dirty lady, risque lyrics, avant garde hemlines." She tells him to eat up - food first, fun later! Norris looks terrified.

In the corner shop, Umed tries to convince Dev that it won't be long before Amber calms down and forgets all about it. Children bounce back, he tells him. Just then Amber bursts in, crying that her day couldn't get any worse! It turns out that Dev is all over the internet, and everywhere she goes people are wetting themselves laughing. He says she's talking like he took the pictures himself, but she ignores that and tells him she never wants to talk to him again as long as she lives. As she slams the door behind her Umed turns to Dev. "Sometimes bouncing back takes time," he says.

We then see the motor caravan bouncing and rocking from side to side in the dark street. However, all is not as it seems, as inside we see Mary dancing about to Sheena Easton's ‘Morning Train' and asking Norris to dance with her. Norris looks suitably horrified as she goes on to say that she often likes to express herself through the medium of dance. "Just think of the nights we'll spend together, Norris, just you, me and Sheena under a panoply of stars!" She then suggests they get the bed out and watch the stars through the sun roof, and asks him what he wears in bed. He tells her pyjamas and an eye mask and asks what she wears. "Tweed by Lentheric and a scrunchy," she says, adding that she heats up in the night. She goes on to say that she lies there stroking her mu-mu till she falls asleep. "Your mu-mu?" asks Norris, nervously, and looks relieved when she explains it's her cuddly monkey. Norris wonders if anyone outside can see in. "What if they can?" she replies. "There's nothing to see unless you want to give them something to see….." Norris suddenly decides to escape and thanks her for the dinner. As he pushes past her she tries to kiss him. "Control yourself woman!" he snaps and bolts out of the door, knocking Mary over in his haste.

Eileen arrives home announcing that she's just had a nice drink with Julie's mam. Julie calls out that they've just had a nice cup of cocoa with her dad. Eileen walks in and sees Colin sitting there and is not at all happy! Colin starts to say that he didn't want to come, they made him. Eileen retorts that he knows where he can go. Julie points out that he's her father and he's had a stroke, but Eileen tells her not to try emotional blackmail. She turns to Jason and asks how he could do this. "What part of your brain thought I'd be all right with this?" Jason asks what part of hers thinks its all right to leave him dying. "He's not dying!" shouts Eileen, then adds, "is he?" Jason says he's not, but he would if he was left on his own. "You know he would," he says. In the end Eileen says that Colin can stay one night, in Jason's bed. "Tomorrow he's out of here," she says and storms off upstairs.

Anne Logan


Friday 15 May

In this first episode for Friday, we start at breakfast with Emily and Norris. Norris won't tell Emily about his dinner with Mary. But after a couple of questions from her, Norris lets it all out - Mary wants a different sort of relationship to what he wants. He's happy to just be friends. "I had to fight my way out of that motor home," he says. Emily advises him to tell Mary in his own words, leaving her in no doubt what he feels.

Eileen's reading the paper, with the occasional glare at her father. Jason's busy going through the yellow pages looking for a care home. Eileen says that he can't just ring a few, find out there are no vacancies and expect her to say Colin can stay on. "Because I'm not going to, all right?" Jason says she's made that very clear.

Maria calls to see Fiz to see whether Chesney can take Ozzie for a walk. She realises she's interrupted his lessons and apologises. Fiz is on a day off. She's got an appointment with the teacher who's helping her with Chesney's schooling. Maria thinks Fiz fancies the teacher. Fiz denies it.

A thoughtful Mary is in the cafe when Norris calls to see her. Norris tells her he needs to say something but it's rather difficult. He stutters and stammers and dithers and doesn't make much sense, so Mary says it for him. He doesn't want to go away with her. She says he's too nice to put it that bluntly. Norris tells her they want different things from life.

Umed tells Anna that he had to give up gambling when his wife left him and took all his money. He finds Amber hiding behind a magazine in the cafe and tries to persuade her to forgive Dev. He tells her to think about how Dev feels.

Eileen's in the Kabin and tells Rita that Colin is back at hers. Rita and Emily ask how he is and Eileen says he'd love to see Rita if she fancied looking in. They agree he's a con man and shouldn't be trusted.

Umed tells Dev, a very depressed Dev, he's seen Amber. But Dev talks himself into a rant against Amber. He's not going to be at the beck and call of another princess like Tara.

Mary and Norris walk towards the van. She tells Norris he's given her the confidence to turn her dream into reality. Norris says he doesn't have that confidence. She promises to send him a postcard from each new place. She offers him one last chance to go along, but Norris turns it down.

Chesney arrives home with Schmeichel and Ozzie and Fiz sends him inside to work. Maria teases her again about always fancying teachers.

Mary starts up the van and drives off with a little wave to Norris.

Eileen and Emily (who's really an Eileen, of course) walk along the street as Norris arrives home. He's going upstairs for a sleep and then back to his humdrum life behind the counter. Eileen tells Emily that Colin hasn't asked for forgiveness because he doesn't think he's done anything wrong.

Down near Dev's shop, a stranger wanders along, checking in a notebook as he hunts for an address. He spots the Kabin and crosses the road, glancing up at the sign which says R. Sullivan and N. Cole are the proprietors.

Inside, he tells Rita he's looking for Norris. Rita says Norris should be back later. The man leaves quickly, ignoring Rita's question about leaving a message. (There was something of the Spanish waiter about the way this man moved - it was, of course, Andrew Sachs, once known as Manuel, from Fawlty Towers)

Norris arrives back and tells Rita that Mary's gone without him. He doesn't want to talk about it. She tells him a man was asking for him. She tells him she has a bit of business to attend to and leaves him on his own, which is where Norris says he's been for most of his life.

Connie has called to see Jack. She tells him a friend has offered the use of their place in Spain. She wants to know whether Jack will come too. Jack looks thoughtful but goes to get his jacket so they can go to the pub.

Rita calls to see Colin. He doesn't think one mistake means he should be banished from human society. Rita wants to know why it's taken him this long to admit his mistake. He says he was hoping he would never have to think of it again and it would all be forgotten.

Amber calls to see Dev. She apologises for going on at him. She asks where Tara is, but Dev doesn't know. Umed interrupts to tell her that Dev has put the art gallery up for sale. Amber agrees to move back home and Dev cheers up.

In the Rovers, Jack and Connie discuss the apartment - three bedrooms and its own pool. Jack asks discreetly whether they're going "together". Connie says they will be in separate bedrooms and will have their own bathroom each. They'll just be going as companions.

Emily and Rita discuss Norris and Mary. Norris arrives - he's taken Rita's suggestion and closed the Kabin for a while.

Over at the Kabin, the stranger who used to be Manuel comes back to find the shop shut.

Maria meets Fiz again. She's on her way to visit John, though Maria doesn't know this. But Fiz gets a phone call to tell her some bad news about John.

Jack explains to Connie how difficult it will be telling Molly and Tyrone they're going away together. Molly will be OK, but Tyrone's a bit old-fashioned. He tells Connie he does want to go with her.

The stranger comes in and finds Norris. "Norris," he says. "No!" says an unhappy looking Norris, demanding to know what the man is doing just walking in like this. The man introduces himself as Norris's brother, Ramsay. He says they haven't spoken in a long time. "Not long enough," says Norris. "Leave me alone. I want nothing to do with you."

The End of part one.

Margaret Carr

The old fogeys' reunion is not going particularly well when we rejoin Ramsey (Manuel) in the Rovers with his brother Norris. Ramsey is telling Norris that he thought it might be a shock after so many years but he had hoped that they would have something to say to each other once over the shock. Doris opines that he doubts it, indeed he doubts that he will ever have anything to say to Ramsey who says he is sorry to hear that and leaves the Rovers. Emily is astounded to hear that Norris has a brother and he clarifies that it is his half brother. It is a family matter and he does not want to talk about it. Rita does want to and asks where Ramsey lives - Norris neither knows nor cares and hopes he will soon return there. He has had a waster journey looking for Norris and he leaves as well to terminate the conversation.

Fiz is in Maria's house and has to admit that she has been seeing John Stape and now she cannot see him because something has happened. Maria cannot believe her ears so Fiz tries to explain that she needed helping with home schooling Chesney and it was the only help she had been able to find and she does not want to talk about it. Maria tells her that the main reason she does not want to talk about it is because everyone would tell her wrong it was. And Maria tells her that she must be off her head. Maria tells Fiz that he will do the same to her again - but Fiz departs slamming the door behind her.

Eileen wants Colin gone but the nursing homes have no vacancies except one and so Jason and Julie depart to look round it, hoping it will be somewhere really nice. They go and Eileen looks at the sleeping Colin asking why he did it? He half hears and says what? She says a fourteen year old girl, the mess it caused to so many lives. He tells her he did not plan it and yes he did regret it, every day, a million times. He did not enjoy the split with her mother and never knowing what else might happen, never knowing when the error would re-appear. He just wanted his family and now even Eileen was throwing him out. She asks if he could forgive her for doing something like he had done and he admits he could not.

In the cafe Hayley gives Ramsey a list of local hotels and guest houses - he admits that he once lived in the area but not for a very long time and whilst there have been some changes, attitudes have not changed. Eddie pops in and asks Anna when she is finished - at five. She wants to know why and he says he has to go into town for a walkabout and will see her later. He tells Hayley he had returned to Weatherfield to make peace with a family member and she wishes him the best of luck. Ramsey is not sure what his next move is going to be at all.

At the Kabin Rita manages to elicit from Doris that the two brothers have had no contact for over fifty year. He refuses to tell Rita any more except to repeat that it is a family matter. Rita said that she thought she and Emily were his family and he accepts that in some ways they are - but not in this particular matter.

Eddie is in the cash 'n' carry, loading his trolley with booze. There is only one thing better than two carriers of beer - three! He gets to the checkout and gives both his account number and password and the girl responds with "That's OK" as the machine confirms the information when suddenly lights start flashing and a siren goes off. The manager and staff are heading in his direction! It appears that as the one millionth customer Mr Cropper has won a prize! He and his partner can have a romantic break in any European city and a cameraman starts snapping away for some publicity photographs. As Eddie he leaves he is congratulated again by the Manager who wants to know where he and MRs Cropper will go. Eddie smiles and says she has always wanted to go abroad and her birthday is coming. The manager says he was startled by the alarm and Eddie agrees - he thought he was going to be arrested (can someone explain how Eddie will manage the trip with tickets issued in the name of Mr and Mrs Cropper? No nor do I).

Jack has decided that he can go away for a couple of weeks and he is going house sitting for Jeff and Doreen Horton in Blackpool. He fancies strolling along the prom with some sea air - he does like Blackpool and he will be off on Sunday. When Tyrone comes home Molly tells him what Jack is doing and Ty is instantly suspicious but under a glare from Molly says nothing. Jack spots Ty's concern but Molly denies it.

Jason and Julie return and clearly the nursing home falls far short of their wishes - but it does have a television. Julie tells Eileen that Colin will be gone shortly. Anyway they pack and are about to order a taxi before Eileen caves in. She knows he will hate it when he gets there and the staff will hate him back because he will be objectionable and cause a nuisance. He can stay, for now. Julie gasps and Eileen screams that she does not know if she meant it - she did not know she was going to say it, but he's here, he's her father and she is stuck with it. She looks at Colin and tells him that he is only staying until he is well enough to go home. She then tells him to shut up arguing.

At Number three Emily points out to Norris that Ramsey is not a young man and this might be his last visit. Norris is not sympathetic - Ramsey must have known he would not be welcomed with open arms. Anyway Norris thinks that Emily is trying to get him to divulge a secret and he is not going to do that.

Fiz and Maria meet in the Rovers and Maria apologises for her reaction. She knows Fiz must be worried about John and asks if she has heard any more. Fiz has called the prison - there has been an "incident" and John Stape was considered in need of hospital treatment. Fiz wonders if that means that he has been beaten up but Maria does not know and Fiz does not think that she will know either.

At the bar Ty is making Molly aware of his belief that Jack will be going to Blackpool with "that woman". She tells him that it is none of their business but Ty says that he is family and it is their business. Molly says she has not been mentioned - but Ty is not convinced. And so a little later he asks Jack for confirmation that he is not going to Blackpool with Connie. Jack as cool as a cucumber states very clearly that he is not going to Blackpool with Connie. Ty is relieved to know that his worst fears are groundless and Molly and Ty tell Jack that they are glad he will be away for a couple of weeks as they are planning to do some decorating and Jack agrees it is their house and should be to their taste. Somehow Spain and Connie never got mentioned - how will he hide the suntan?

Eddie asks Anna which European city she would like to visit and whist she wants to know why he tries to give little away. Eventually she admits to Paris, then he asks what hotel - posh or very posh? He lies, claiming he has been saving a few bob. Anyway they can go up the Eiffel Tower and do anything else they fancy. She believes him despite the fact that he has never done anything for her previous birthdays!

Ramsey meets Rita on the Street and she tells him that Norris can be found living at number three with her good friend Emily Bishop. They agree that Norris can be extremely obstinate when he wants to be and changing his mind can be really difficult.

Ramsey knocks on the door of Number Three and Emily answers. He asks if he might speak to Norris and she invites him in but Norris arrives in the front door before Ramsey can enter and tells the latter that he is not welcome - how many times does he need telling? Ramsey asks to sit down and talk but Norris responds that there is no talking to be done. Go away. Ramsey says that there are things to talk about, he is being unfairly accused and he wants it settled once and for all. Norris claims it was settled fifty years ago - now go! Ramsey asks if Norris will talk to him but Norris refuses. Emily is upset by the arguing and points out that they are brothers. Norris turns on her and tells her that Ramsey is nothing to him and anyway what does she know about it - it is none of her business and please will she keep out of it. Upset she agrees and goes back inside. Norris tells Ramsey that he has a lot of cheek showing up. Ramsey answers that he just wants to put things right. Norris says he can never do that - after fifty years he still has blood on his hands and he slams the door of number three closed in Ramsey's face.

See you next week.

K Richard W


Monday 18 May

I have returned from my holidays and I thank Stella and Margaret for so ably covering for me! Lovely to see Margaret in Manchester, as well!

Not a lot of happy people in this first episode tonight.

Jason, plugged into his music, is followed out the door by Eileen, clutching her dressing gown to her chest. She catches up with him and tells him Colin has an appointment at the hospital and he's got to go with. Jason has promised to do some work with Bill this morning but that's just too bad. Eileen insists. He's the one that wanted Grandad there, he's responsible. Julie comes out just then, all bright and cheerful and is given very short shrift by her erstwhile (half) sister. Eileen scoots back inside but Jason has an idea. Couldn't do us a favour....?

Over in the Kabin, Rita and Tina are behind the counter and Norris is scolding Chesney gruffly. Michelle takes umbrage at Norris' treatment of a child and ushers Ryan back out of the shop without buying anything. Norris is also rude to Tina. Rita lets Tina know that Norris' bad mood is due to his unexpected encounter with his brother. She gossips that the brothers fell out over something awful but she doesn't know what it is. Norris hears it all and though is still sarcastic, doesn't reveal anything, much to Rita and Tina's scorching curiosity.

Outside, Fiz is on the phone trying to contact someone about "a prisoner" but when Chesney comes up to her, she hangs up. He still thinks she's soft on the tutor but she's short with him and hollers at him to get back home and get stuck into his school work. Maria comes along with an understanding smile at least. They exchange a bit of small talk and Maria asks after John. She hasn't heard yet but she's trying to find out.

Michelle and Ryan saunter down the street chatting about Norris being out of order and encounter Peter and Simon. Ryan thanks Peter for the gig tickets and guess what? Simon, once he finds out what a gig is, decides he likes Metallica! Proper!!! The four of them share a laugh and go on their way. Peter and Simon take a few more steps when Simon suddenly stops in his tracks. Peter looks down and asks.... "What?" Simon grins and cheekily says "You *so* fancy her!" (what a little joy that lad is!) "Behave!" Peter laughs.

Steve is knocking on Eileen's door. He's checking up on her as she'd sounded stressed. She's suspicious that he's being too nice but he's just being a friend. She's all out of sorts and he knows she really does need to talk so he suggests she put the kettle on. What a poppet he is, what is he?

Meanwhile, Julie is sitting in hospital waiting with Colin for his appointment. Yep, that's the favour Jason asked. She's wittering on about things she's reading in medical pamphlets ("Emphysema... nice name for a girl, that") Colin is silent and pretty glum looking and she finally notices. He's upset and distraught about Eileen, worried she'll never forgive him. Julie tries to reassure him and figures Eileen just needs time. She's then surprised to see Fiz come round the corner. Fiz is even more surprised (Busted!) She gets flustered and won't tell Julie why she's there but she goes to a nurse's desk to ask about John Stape and lies and says she's his partner. But it seems that the nurse can't reveal any information and gets up on her smug high horse. Fiz pleads that she only wants to know he's ok. "He's a prisoner. Ask his prison" the snotty nurse purrs.

As a change of pace, we now find ourselves in the Barlow residence where Ken is perusing his newspaper. The silence is broken by the radio suddenly snapped into a pop song in the kitchen by Deirdre. The doorbell rings. Deirdre turns it up and dances around the kitchen to the music. Peter comes in and asks Ken if someone could pick up Simon from school. Ken hastily agrees and then broaches the topic of Blanche, wondering if Peter wanted to assist in getting her to return home. Peter admits he thought it would be grim having the old girl around but it's not really that bad so far and she and Simon dote on each other. Deirdre interrupts and points out that Ken only wants Blanche back because she herself is getting on his nerves so bad that the mother-in-law would be a relief! The look on Ken's face says it all. The music goes back on in defiance and Peter makes his exit.

Ramsay comes to Emily's door just as she comes out for the milk bottle. He had wanted to leave his contact details and then asks for some advice on how to deal with Norris. She happily invites him in.

Colin and Julie are driven back to the Street in Eddie's taxi. Julie even manages to get out of paying after Eddie makes a tasteless joke at Colin's expense. After they get out of the car, we can see Paula has just got off the bus and she hollers across to Eileen, not happy at all to see that Colin is in residence. Eddie squawks for his money, Paula shouts at them all for taking Colin in and "forgiving" him, Eileen is growling at Jason who's arrived and Colin is making distressed noises.

In the peace and quiet of Emily's house, and admits he was adopted and has been living in Australia where he's going to retire. Eileen tells Ramsay that Norris was probably out of sorts at Mary's departure and his arrival added to that stress. She urges him not to give up.

Paula and Eileen are having a fight in the kitchen. Eileen is trying to explain but Paula is on a roll, Things get nasty when Paula starts slagging off Eileen as she was when they were kids, saying she was only friends with Eileen because she felt sorry for her. That results in a resounding slap (and I have to say, she had that coming. Paula's hurtful comments were totally uncalled for!) Paula goes gasping away.

In the Kabin, it sounds like Tina is getting exasperated with Norris. Jason has taken refuge in the Kabin, looking for a magazine for his Granddad. Tina commiserates. Jason says the whole situation is messing with his head and Tina thinks it's nice that Jason is sticking up for Colin.

Peter has surprisingly walked across the road and is having a coffee with Steve as they sit outside in the sun. Peter starts to pump Steve for information about Michelle, that's the method behind this sudden friendship it seems. Steve tells Peter that Michelle is high maintenance and asks if he fancies her. He doesn't answer and Steve has to go inside to answer the switch. Steve has a pretty good guess, though.

A flatpack parcel is being delivered to Maria. Tony sees the delivery van and signs for it. He also notices Fiz return to work from the hospital.

Ramsey comes into the Kabin. Norris is not best pleased and doesn't want Rita and Tina to leave him alone with his brother. Ramsey is reasonable, but Norris doesn't want any of it. At the end of the day, he points accusingly, this is the man that killed my mother. Ooohh!!!! Ramsey sighs and turns around to leave. Norris taunts him about not taking the truth. Ramsay stops and turns around and apologizes for fighting at their mother's funeral and truly wishing they could put all the upset behind them. He wishes he'd done things differently. Seems Norris blames him for giving their mother such a start when he presented himself to her that it killed her. However, Ramsay points out that she didn't die until a whole year later. Rita and Tina are taking this all in avidly. Norris quietly and somewhat tearfully says he cannot forgive him. Ramsay throws up his hands and leaves. Tina and Rita are sympathetic but he wants to be on his own and goes into the back.

Ken and Deirdre are having a silent lunch but the sandwich doesn't seem to be to Ken's taste. Deirdre enjoys telling him she'd put sardines and curry powder in it and relishes the taste, herself. Ken doesn't help matters by telling her there's a radio play on that evening, all recorded in iambic pentameter. She insists he's taking her to the pub, otherwise she couldn't stand the excitement (highly sarcastic, is our Deirdre!) Ken muses that he can always record it. She sighs heavily and rolls her eyes.

Paula strides down the pavement and is about to knock on Eileen's door but stops to shore up her nerve. Inside, Julie and Jason are fussing over Colin. Julie wants to take Colin to see stately homes and gardens and bubbles on about gardens and gardeners. Colin glances at Jason and asks "Does she ever shut up?" (I've wondered that myself) Eileen thinks Julie should go see Paula but she doesn't see the point. Eileen can't blame Paula for being angry but is upset that it all blew up just as she was getting to know her old friend again. There is a knock on the door. Julie and Eileen had just been sniping at each other so Jason goes to get the door. Julie wails to Eileen "Why do you hate me!" Eileen admits she doesn't but she hates *this* (the whole situation) and hates everything about it. Enter Paula, looking determined. She is there to warn them that she's been to the police about Colin's abuse. She doesn't stop and whirls around to leave, with Paula screaming at her back about never letting things just lie! Jason tries to settle her down and then asks Eileen what they'll do about it all. She just doesn't know and feels sick about it.

Stay tuned for the next half in which things go from bad to worse.

Tvor

Back at Eileen's, Jason is wondering if Paula is bluffing about telling the police about Colin while Julie is wondering why she is doing this. Eileen is accused of not caring but she does care, they just can't see it. Julie puts her coat on and heads off to ask Paula to change her statement to the police. When Julie leaves, Eileen tells Jason that this is all his fault since he insisted on bringing Colin back to theirs to look after him. "He had no one else to turn to, Ma," says Jason. Colin pathetically groans something about moving out but Eileen brushes it off and tells him he needs to take his pills.

Out in the street, Julie finds Paula at the bus stop and asks her to come for a coffee. Paula goes, willingly, but not before accusing Julie of having a "new family".

Luke and Michelle are flirting over the desk in the bookies. Luke asks Michelle out on a date that night and Michelle agrees to go.

Back at Eileen's, Eileen, Colin and Jason are talking about the police being involved. Jason is trying to make his Grandad feel better by denying that he will be in trouble but Eileen gives him short shrift and Jason storms out. Colin starts to cry about wrecking Eileen's life and that of her family.

In the Rovers, Julie is asking Paula, why now? Why is she going to the police now. Paula says she wanted to tell Julie discreetly about Colin being Julie's father but then she couldn't bear Colin showing off at his party and almost getting married to Rita. She asks Julie if she will give a DNA sample for the police of the police ask. Julie is reluctant and Paula accuses her of going against her own mother and siding with Colin. "I don't want to make things worse, " says Julie, "he's me dad!" Paula accuses Julie of not caring for her any more but Julie tells her mother she is too old to be in the middle of a tug of love and tells Paula that when she is ready to stop using Julie to get back at Colin then they can talk again.

Colin is not looking well at Eileen's. He's being pathetically self-pitying but Eileen copes with him stoically. She makes him a cup of tea while Colin cries, "I can't go to prison, I'm too old..... If I go in, I'll never come out alive!" Eileen tries to assure him that he won't be shut up in a cell but Colin decides he is leaving- running away before the police can come and get him. He pleads with Eileen to help him but Eileen stays fast and refuses. Colin shouts at Eileen, "You couldn't care less, could you?" Colin tries to get up himself to get dressed but is practically unable to move. He collapses on the sofa in tears.

In the Kabin, Emily drops by. Norris leaves in a sulk and tells them to talk about him to their hearts' content while he is gone. Rita and Tina spill the beans on why Norris has fallen out with Ramsay. Emily happens to have the number at which Ramsay can be contacted and Rita encourages her to give him a call. Tina is shocked at their underhanded ways to reunite Norris with his brother.

Eileen and Colin are having a shouting match as Colin is stubbornly trying to leave before the police can find him. Colin wonders if Eileen hates him and he has a change of heart. "I've never faced up to anything, it's time I did.... it's time I went to the police and tell them what I did to Paula. Admit what I did, the man I was."

Tony is at Maria's building a cot for her. They are chatting about Maria's fears for the new baby since the death of her son last time. Tony encourages Maria and tells her that she needs to start enjoying this new baby and that she's going to be a great mum. Natasha rings Tony's mobile and he ignores the call, telling Maria it was business.

Eileen is trying to talk Colin out of going to the police. She is sad that they had been getting on for the first time in ages and then Paula threw a spanner in the works. Colin asks Eileen if she can get his shoes for him. Eileen puts them on the table which Colin points out is bad luck. Eileen reminds him that everything is bad luck for her these days. Eileen wonders what he is going to do, "Just go down the police station and give yourself up?... do what you want, what you always do." She tells Colin that the worst thing he ever did to Eileen was let her think that her mother was the bad one in her life and that her mother had abandoned her and Eileen could never forgive her. She tells Colin he should do what wants- go to flamin' prison and see if she cares.

Paula comes into the Kabin to talk Rita. Rita is concerned for her, she asks her what has happened. Paula tells Rita that he feels like a fool since Eileen, Julie and Jason have taken Colin in to look after him. Rita defends her friends, "They probably didn't know what else to do." Paula is sad that her own daughter would rather be with Colin than with her and Rita agrees that Colin has given them all a terrible dilemma.

Peter is out on the street talking to Blanche on the phone, trying to convince her to go out for the evening. It seems like it has worked since he offers to stump up for a taxi to the over 60s club both ways.

At Eileen's, Colin is looking increasingly unwell but is dressed in a jacket. He doesn't know if the police will detain him overnight, Eileen tells him that she will sort the police out for him and won't let them keep him over night. She goes to phone a cab to take them to the station.

At Fizz's, Kirk is annoying Ches while Ches is trying to do homework. He asks Chesney how he will find a girlfriend if he is not at school. Julie knocks on the door, looking for Fizz. She mentions to Chesney that she saw Fizz at the hospital. Chesney is instantly worried for his sister.

Eileen and Colin are waiting for the taxi. There is a knock at the door and Eileen and Colin both realise it is the police. Eileen answers the door to the Scottish police woman who used to be in Eastenders and another detective. Eileen refuses to let the police in the house and tells them that Colin is a very sick man. Across the street, Rita is saying goodbye to Paula and is reluctant to let her go while she is still upset. Paula sees the police at Eileen's door and rushes off. Eileen is still refusing to let the police in and asks for a warrant. Emily sees the spectacle at Eileen's house as well. She and Rita go inside, not wishing to cause Eileen any discomfort.

Peter asks Michelle to come over for dinner in a round about way but is given the knockback since Michelle has agreed to go out with Luke instead. Peter is crushed.

Eileen finally lets the police inside. She is haranguing the police about them harassing a sick old man unaware that the cops can see there is something wrong with Colin. The police bring it to her attention that Colin has died. "Oh, Dad!" says Eileen, with tears in her eyes.


Wednesday 20 May

The doctor has arrived and pronounced that Colin has died. Eileen turns to the police officers. "He's hardly going to be helping you with your enquiries now, is he?" she says and shows them to the door. As the doctor goes to fill out the death certificate at the table, Eileen sits down next to her father. She leans over and whispers in his ear that he's a wily old rascal, he's given everyone the slip again. Then she lays her head on his shoulder.

Julie arrives and finds the police woman outside the house, talking on her mobile phone. She hears her give Colin's name to someone on the other end and immediately starts yelling that she can't persecute an old man like this, don't they know he's just come out of hospital? "And you are?" asks the policewoman, looking her up and down. Julie tells her that she's Colin's daughter and pushes past her into the house.

Once inside and realising what's happened, Julie starts wailing and weeping, very loudly. Eileen tries to calm her down, but she wails that it's not fair, she's only just found him. Eileen tries again to calm her, but she isn't in the mood to be calm. "Don't you tell me to calm down," she cries, "I've just lost my father!"

Ramsay is in the pub with Emily and Rita. He says he hoped Norris might be married, he quite liked the idea of a nephew or a niece. Rita tells him that he did marry, briefly, to someone named Angela. Ramsay asks what she was like but Rita says it ought to be Norris who tells him things like that. Ramsay says that Norris is very lucky to have friends who are so respectful of his privacy. "Just wait till you meet Blanche!" says Rita.

Jason is playing on the fruit machine and wins the jackpot! However, no money comes out, much to his and Bill's disgust. They start to bang the machine which prompts Steve to look over and ask what they're doing. When they tell him he gets the money out of the till. Just then Eileen comes in and walks up behind him. "Jason," she says quietly. He tells her: "Not now!" She repeats his name and he looks round irritably but then sees her face. She tells him that his granddad has just died, and at that moment Steve comes over and waves the money at him. "Happy now?" he asks. Jason ignores Steve who then demands to know whether he wants it or not. "What do you mean," says Jason to Eileen, "I just saw him." She tells him it's just happened and he follows her out of the pub. As they pass Rita, she asks Eileen what's happened. "It's me dad, he's died," says Eileen.

A very worried Chesney tells Fiz that Julie saw her at the hospital, and he's wondering if she's all right. She tells him she was with Maria for one of her check ups.

Back at the Grimshaw's, Julie is still wailing about the lost years she never had with her father. Jason tells her to look on the positive side, if she hadn't met Kirk and come to live there she'd never have met her father at all. She clutches at the idea of fate. "Someone up there wanted me to meet him before he shuffled off this mortal coil." He says he doesn't know about that, but she got to meet him and that's all that matters. "There's wisdom in you, Jason Grimshaw, I don't care what anyone says," she tells him.

Eileen is out the back and she tells Jason that the funeral directors will be around shortly to take the body. They talk about his timing, pegging it just as he was about to be arrested and decide it was for the best, he'd never has survived the court case. She then turns her attention to Julie. "How's the wailing widow?" she asks, "still throwing herself over the body?"

In the Rovers, Emily gets Rita a brandy for her shock, and Blanche is tells Ramsay and Rita all about the goings on in the motor home parked outside Emily's house. "In the morning you could see a silhouette of her giving herself a stand-up wash!" Emily quietly asks Rita if she'd like her to walk her home. "No, I'm fine - I think," says Rita. "Mind you, it's a way of avoiding council tax I suppose," says Blanche (does she actually pay any?) until Emily snaps at her to stop wittering on, reminding her that Rita's had a shock. Blanche, unabashed, retorts that they all knew what he was like. Ramsay looks at Rita and comments that she's obviously lost someone very special. "Oh you do need catching up," says Blanche. Rita then decides to go home alone, and when she's gone Blanche pulls the untouched brandy over to herself.

The funeral directors take Colin's body out of Eileen's house. As they're putting him in the vehicle Julie rushes over and kisses him on the forehead. "Sleep well, Dad," she says. Rita, who's passing on her way home stops and asks Eileen if she's all right. "I'm not sure, you?" asks Eileen, and Rita admits the same.

Luke arrives to collect Michelle and finds her on the phone. JD is offering her the chance of a six-month tour round Europe. She tells him she'd consider it if she was ten years younger and didn't have a kid and a job she'd jump at it. Ryan hears all this and declares that he's not going to Ireland again - no way!

Deirdre and Ken go into the pub and are shocked to hear that Colin has died. Deirdre mutters about taking the day off work for the funeral. Blanche comments that she's been to more funerals this year than they've had hot dinners. Ramsay is full of sympathy until Deirdre tells him that they've not been funerals of people she knows, she just like going to random funerals!

Peter is at the bar and doesn't look too happy when Michelle walks in with Luke. He goes to sit down and she turns to Peter and suggests that they get that meal next week. He agrees and wishes her a good night. As she goes to sit with Luke, Steve remarks that he seems to have missed his chance there.

Chesney tells Kirk that Fiz was at the hospital with Maria for her check up. Kirk tells him that can't be right, Maria's check up is tomorrow and he's taking her, she phoned to check it with him an hour ago.

Eileen's booked Colin's cremation, but Julie isn't sure he even wanted to be cremated. Eileen comments that it's better than putting him out with the bins, and anyway, what does it matter what he wanted, he's dead. Julie wonders how Eileen can be so cold, but Eileen retorts that she doesn't know how she can be so hysterical, she barely knew him. Julie tells her that is exactly what makes it so upsetting. Does she want her to suffer in silence? Eileen snaps that she should give it a go. Jason tries to calm things down by saying they'll need to clear out his accommodation. Julie immediately asks if she can go and help.

Fiz calls the prison and finds that John's been discharged from hospital, so she books a visit. When she goes indoors Chesney asks who she was on the phone to. She blusters that it was just the home-school network, she was sorting out work for him. She goes upstairs but Chesney remarks to Kirk that he knows she's lying about something.

As she leaves, Julie asks Eileen if it would be all right to choose a song to be played at the funeral. "What, Teenage Kicks?" retorts Eileen.

She runs over to the Battersby house and tells them all that her dad is dead. Fiz and Kirk rush to comfort her.

In the pub, Ramsay is telling Blanche, Emily, Deirdre and Ken all about the beauty of the blue mountains of Australia. Deirdre bursts into the Laurel and Hardy song about the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia and the whole table join in. Just then, who should walk in but Norris! He's not at all happy at all his friends and neighbours having such a good time with the brother he hates. "Very cosy, I must say!" he says and marches out again.

Michelle tells Steve that if he wants to go over and offer condolences to Eileen, she'll hold the fort for him for a short time. He refuses, saying she's got Jason there. Such a coward!

Over at the Grimshaw house, Eileen is looking through old photos. Jason asks if she's all right and she says she is, and tells him to go up for his bath. When he's left the room she bursts into tears. Eileen grieves alone.

Anne Logan


Friday 22 May

Pam's bragging to Rita in the Kabin about her margarine-spreading technique - six pieces of bread swiped before the knife needs more marge. Julie comes in and Rita gets snippy when Pam inquires about the catering for the funeral. Julie seems right on the edge and wants to know why she shouldn't have a say in her father's funeral.

Fiz is off out to a home schooling thing, she says, and wants to make sure Chesney is properly fed while she's gone, though Ches points out she didn't eat much last night or this morning. Maria is going for a check-up and Kirk's going with her. Chesney wants to know if it's usual to have two hospital visits so close together. Maria realises she's Fiz's alibi and plays along.

Natasha and Tony agree to meet in the Rovers at lunchtime. Fiz interrupts to remind Tony she's off this afternoon.

Eileen goes into the Rovers where Jason and Lloyd try to bother her with details about the funeral. Becky manages to upset her by saying if she was Colin's age and had a choice between going to jail and popping her clogs, she'd choose death every time.

Pam's recounting her marge statistics in the bookies. Michelle is grumpy and Blanche doesn't help by complaining that she needs a cup of tea. "Misery's infectious, you know!" Blanche tells her.

Jason's fetched Colin's belongings and Fiz and Julie help him lug the cartons inside. They interrupt Chesney, who's snuck home from school to copy down a phone number from the home schooling folder. Julie starts to look through Colin's stuff. When Fiz and Jason have gone, Chesney reminisces about Uncle Les. He says Les lied to him and his mam lied to him. Julie tells him he's got Fiz and he can trust her. Ches points out that Fiz only doesn't eat when she's scared or ill.

Jason's sitting in the truck. Steve knocks on the window and asks how Eileen is, and then how Jason is. Jason says Colin's stuff looked as if he'd just stepped out for a bit. Behind him, Eddie Windass pulls up in a taxi with Kirk and a load of empty cartons as the passenger/s. Fiz claims the taxi and tells Eddie she'll tell him the destination on the way.

Inside the house, Chesney rings the Weatherfield Home School Network to check what time the meeting is. Of course, he's told there isn't one.

Maria arrives back at the salon where she's met by Natasha, asking her to cover while she goes to lunch with Tony. Maria asks her to ask Tony whether he's got the crib instructions, because the swinging crib he helped with the other day squeaks. Natasha asks if this was at their "business meeting" and goes off with a face like thunder.

Julie's found a very old note from Colin to Eileen. She's getting all sentimental and Jason's the opposite. He says he wishes he knew less about Colin, not more. Paula arrives and Jason excuses himself to take some clothes to Emily for the charity shop. Paula tells Julie she's only just heard about Colin. Julie calls her a murderer.

Eileen's sitting glumly in the taxi office while Lloyd and Steve try desperately to carry on a conversation, then both try to get out of the office to go and buy cakes. Eileen flicks the switch and speaks into the microphone and says: "Streetcars. Yeah, I know you're not there, love. I'm just making you up because my colleagues don't know what to say to me and they're really doing my head in." Rita arrives and Steve and Lloyd rush out. Eileen says she just wants it all over. Rita mentions that it's hard to Julie, too. Eileen wonders if Julie sent Rita. "No, I'm quite capable of being an interfering old so-and-so myself." Rita points out that losing a parent takes away the part of you that's a child, and that goes for Julie, too.

Julie is still shouting at her mother. Paula tries to explain why she went to the police. She says Colin trashed her whole life. "By giving you me?" demands Julie. Paula struggles to clarify what she means. "I was a child, therefore I never had the courage or self-respect to stand up and say, ‘This is wrong.' " Julie won't listen and shouts to her mother to get out. Paul stops at the door long enough to tell her that she was the only good thing to come out of all this. "Now he's taken you away from me and all."

In a prison not too far away, Fiz arrives and is shocked to see John's battered face and bandaged hand.

Phil, Ryan's wheelchaired pal, rolls down the street, keeping Ryan, Sophie and a couple of other friends entertained with his stories. The street isn't Coronation Street though - those cobbles would be dreadful on his wheels. Michelle calls to Ryan and he goes into the bookies, though his girlfriend, Sian, has to remind him to kiss her goodbye. She's convince Ryan's gone off her, but Sophie's sure he hasn't.

Chesney sees Eddie and asks where he took Fiz. He bribes him with one of Les's Status Quo badges and Eddie reveals he dropped her off around the corner from the prison.

Fiz is tearful as she tells John nobody would tell her anything about his injuries. She tells him she's tried really hard not to care for him. "I don't want to love you. I love you."

Tony Gordon goes into the salon as we see Ryan and Michelle walking across the road. Ryan wants to stay with Phil so she can go on tour. He urges her to go so that when he finishes school and wants to go on tour she has to let him. Michelle admits she wants to go. She hugs Ryan.

Apparently Natasha didn't turn up for their lunch date, and she brings Tony out into the street so she can be sarcastic to him away from her clients. He discovers she's angry because he built a flat-pack crib for Maria. "You really think I'd rather spend time with an eight-month pregnant, hormone-driven widow than get you back to my flat?" he asks. He says everyone is running around after Maria and implies it's because they pity her. Natasha kisses him and goes back inside.

Julie's brought some things she thought Eileen might like to keep. She says she and Jason think they should play Demis Roussos' music at the funeral. "He loved his music," Jason points out. Eileen says he loved curry as well, so should they smear Chicken tikka masala over the coffin. Julie and Jason say Colin clearly kept only the music that was special to him. Eileen snorts. She bought him the Demis Roussos album as a joke because Colin had started wearing kaftan-like nightshirts. He hated the music. "So don't you come in here telling me you know what he would have wanted. Because he didn't want this and he didn't want you!"

Fiz emerges from the prison. Chesney is waiting. "Liar!" he screams. "Liar!" And he runs off before Fiz can react.

The end of part one.
More later.
Margaret Carr

So almost time for Colin’s funeral - Jason asks Eileen to promise that she will not fall out with Julie and is told that if she stays out of the way there will be no problem - Jason reminds her that they are bidding farewell to a father and grandfather so no headlocks on Julie. Eileen promises that nasty Eileen will be locked in a cupboard and she is letting nice Eileen out for the day.

Fiz wants to explain. Chesney is having none of it. She takes him in the back yard so as not to upset Julie. Chesney shouts at Fiz about how he felt when he found she had gone to the hospital to see John - because he knew nothing he thought she must be ill. She says sorry but Chesney says that she wishes that Fiz was ill - it would be better than her seeing John. The argument is ended by Kirk appearing and saying that the cars are waiting. Fiz refuses to explain saying that they must go and support Julie. In the Street nice Eileen almost vanishes when she sees a showy bouquet saying DAD and then complains they have sent the wrong car. But they have not sent the wrong car - Julie upgraded as she wanted nothing less than the best for her father. Eileen is about to unleash a nuclear bomb when Jason reminds her of her promise. She summons a cab! Rita watches the cars pull away - she refused Eileen's invitation to share a cab. Indoors Chesney is looking at pictures of Fiz enjoying herself, until he finds one of her with John and tears it in half in disgust.

Michelle tells Peter that she was going on tour with the band which he takes quite well and he will work around it - but then she tells him it is for six months and that he will soon find and train a replacement.

After the prayers the vicar asks if anyone would like to say a few words about Colin and Julie tries to say that she had had fantasies about her father and her one big regret is that she did not know him, so Eileen decides to redress the balance and stands up to give her own honest eulogy.

Rita regrets her absence, remembering that the funerals are for those let behind. Steve takes her to the funeral.

Eileen is warming up. Her dad was good looking and vain and charming and that got him into a lot of trouble, but they should not remember a person's mistakes. But she had a particular memory from when she was three and had a might mare about flying daleks - and this was long before they learnt to fly with Sylvester McCoy - indeed before him they could not even manage stairs. And he comforted her and sang to her. "Dad, you were a right royal pain in the backside at times, but I loved you anyway and always will".

Afterwards, Julie tried to explain her behaviour following his death and said that they are family and need to stick together. However, as Julie grabbed Eileen and Jason in a group hug, Eileen did wonder what she had got herself into.

Luke arrives in the bookies and asks Michelle if she wanted to go to a concert next month. Not much chance as she is away for the next six months. Luke wasn't going to miss an opportunity and said they should have some fun before she went in the form of a ‘holiday romance’. He asks Peter to give her the rest of the day off and Peter agrees. But he was upset when he sees Michelle and Luke kiss whist sitting at the bus shelter (and it was rather sickening I have to agree). Ryan looks equally unimpressed by his mother's behaviour - ugh parents indulging in canoodling.

On returning from the funeral Fiz and Chesney continue arguing and he says that she does not care about him - John could have hurt her. She tries to explain how important he is, but as he is now taller and stronger than Fiz he manhandles her into the Street, telling her that he had simply been an excuse for the meetings and locks the door on her as he cannot stand the sight of her.

Ryan has a friend Ben (new one on me) and Sophie has a friend Sian (another new one) who apparently fancies Ryan. Like most women she is a stick insect and he needs a haircut. Sad. Anyway other girls fancy Ryan and Sophie calls them slappers. Sad. Tamsin so like puts her number in Ryan's phone. Sad. Despite demands from Sophie Ryan does not delete the number.

Kirk tries to talk Chesney round but gets nowhere. Chesney sends him back to look after Julie. Next door Fiz is telling Maria about visiting John in prison and how she cannot imagine her life without him - but for Chesney's sake she must.

Later Fiz arrives back to find Chesney gone. Her purse has been emptied and she rushes out into the Street. She tries phoning his mobile but merely gets the answering machine. Eddie appears eating chips and she asks if he has seen Chesney - what the other red headed lad who is not R'Gary? Yes replies Fiz impatiently. After thinking about it Eddie remembers that he took him to Piccadilly (Manchester Piccadilly - there are trains to London) earlier on. No he did not say where he was going.

So apparently Chesney has done a runner. Peter is fed up at losing a second attractive bit crumpet from the shop, indeed very upset. Julie has a sister (Sisters, sisters, there never were such devoted sisters - oh this one could run and run). And Rita might not have made it to the funeral but she was able to ensure Colin was laid to rest. And according to Sainsburys a pollack is now a colin, so this story may have been a load of old pollacks.

See you next week for the only Friday episode - Britain has Got no Talent!

K Richard W


Monday 25 May

From the pen of Jayne Hollinson and directorship of David Kester.

Fiz is leaving message after message on Chesney's phone to call her and let her know he's ok. Julie sets a tall stack of toast in front of her and Kirk admits he missed Chesney at the train station. Julie, as ever, is optimistic. Fiz is reluctant to say what the row was about but Kirk spills the beans. She insists she was only seeing John Stape to get help from Chesney but she doesn't look very convincing to me.

Michelle is at work but is chatting and giggling on the phone with Luke who makes a date with her for that afternoon. Peter is turning an interesting shade of green and gets bitchy about Luke taking Michelle on "fun" dates rather than romantic ones. She chucks that back in his face and makes a pointed remark about posh restaurants (like the one he took her to where the date was an unmitigated disaster). She tells Peter she's only after a bit of fun and is going to go off looking for stardom next week anyway. There's a thumping overhead. Blanche obviously wanting something.

Fiz and Kirk are going to look around town to see if they can find Chesney. Sally and Rosie come by and Sally is sympathetic, offering to help look. Rosie reminds her that Kev is taking them in to town and Fiz doesn't want any help anyway, she says. (because the truth about Stape will come out and Sally won't be best pleased).

Ken encounters Peter and Blanche. Peter's helped Blanche down the stairs. Ken points out that the stairs are another reason why Blanche should move back home (um, what does she do at Number 1 when she has to go to the loo? Climb the stairs. So it's not much different). Blanche mentions they could always get a stair lift. Ken reminds Peter they aren't cheap, stair lifts, but when he finds out Blanche has made a meal in the slow cooker, Peter thinks it isn't so bad having her around.

In the cab office, Lloyd wonders why Eileen never takes time off (it's Bank Holiday Monday). Eileen figures it is better to work than sit around doing nothing. Lloyd suggests the pub quiz tonight. He's the quiz master since Steve begged off.

Speaking of quiz, Norris is boning up with a book in the back room of the Kabin. Emily arrives with a postcard from Mary. She's obviously read it and Norris gets offended. He gets distracted by his revisions for the quiz and rattles off the wives of Henry VIII. Emily and Rita look distinctly uncomfortable. Emily insists Rita be the one to tell Norris that they've invited Ramsay.

Joe is making plans to go in to work since some of the site problems have been sorted. He is raring to go and knocks back a few pain pills while Gail scolds him for working on a bank holiday. Surely Gary and Jason can do the work? But no, Jason is otherwise engaged and he's fine anyway. He calls up Gary.

Julie has arrived with Eccles cakes to cheer them up. Eileen pretends she doesn't like Eccles cakes but that doesn't stop Steamroller Julie who makes herself comfortable in anticipation of being an ear that Eileen can bend and "let it all out" no matter that Eileen insists she's just fine. From the look on Eileen's face, she'd rather pull her own toenails out. Julie tells them that Chesney's run off and when Lloyd goes out on a job, she tells Eileen the rest of it, about Stape. That, at least, perks up Eileen's interest. Julie thinks it's all romantic but Eileen thinks Fiz must be desperate. It doesn't look like Julie's going to shift herself any time soon.

Joe's loading up the van, wincing in pain because the pills he took before, oh, 30 minutes or so? aren't working yet. He knocks back a couple more. Yes, we definitely have an addiction storyline coming up. He calls over to Anna who says Gary has been heard moving around. Peter comes along and helps Joe lift some crates of supplies. Across the road, Luke has an armful of boxes and is on the phone to Maria asking for a favour.

Eddie and Anna are chatting in the back garden. Eddie offers to get the deck chairs out of the shed and discovers Chesney sleeping in it. Anna thinks he looks sweet, just like when Gary was younger, red hair and all. Eddie tells her about taking Ches to the train station though didn't know it was a case of running away. They reminisce about when Gary ran away once but returned because he'd forgot the milk to go with the cereal he'd taken with him. Chesney wakes up and starts. Anna just offers to feed him.

Over the road, Maria tells Michelle she's off to the Rovers for lunch. Luke is already there for his date with Michelle. They hear music coming from out back. There's a bucket of sand with a spade, a cooler of beers, two deck chairs and a paddling pool ready and waiting! He's built a summer holiday scene for them! Awwwwwww!!! There's even an inflatable palm tree and beach balls and a plastic seagull on a pulley string!! He's got his trousers rolled up, a bright shirt and a handkerchief on his head. He tells her to get her cossie on and he'll go get some ice cream from the shop.

Chesney is tucking into a big breakfast. He tells them he fell out with Fiz and went to Northampton to find his brother Billy but Billy had moved away a year ago. He doesn't know what to do now. Anna wants to tell Fiz at least that he's ok and he nods. Chesney asks for a drink and when Eddie goes inside, Chesney legs it with his backpack over the fence but Sophie sees him and drags him inside. Eddie has seen.

In the cab office, Julie is still wittering on and mithering poor Eileen who's face is on the desk. Lloyd returns and Eileen pretends that he doesn't like her chatting when she's supposed to be working. Julie says she'll pop round later instead.

Chesney doesn't want to tell Sophie what the row was about but after Sophie makes a few guesses, the secret is out.

Ken arrives in the Kabin for his papers. Norris is keen to be tested on his general knowledge. Rita serves Ken. He says he might go to the quiz if Deirdre fancies it. He gives them the first line of a famous book. Rita recognizes it and jumps in with the answer (1984 - George Orwell). Norris sniffs that it was his question. Rita admits she knew the answer because it was one of the books they read when they had the book club. Rita starts to tell him about Ramsay but she bottles it.

Fiz and Kirk have returned. Anna runs across the road and tells them she'd found Chesney but he's gone again but he's been seen going in to the Websters. They run to the door and knock. Sophie answers but can't hide the backpack in the entryway. Chesney doesn't want to talk to them but reluctantly comes to the door so she can see he's ok. She begs him to come back so that they can at least talk. Kirk says Schmeichel has been pining and that's all Ches needs to come back, at least to talk. As they troop across the road, Sally arrives back home and is very glad to see he's been found. She tells Kevin it brings all that back (from when Rosie was missing). They all go inside and Sophie is waiting with the news. Sally's jaw hits the ground, Rosie's eyes bug out and Kevin's fists clench.

Rita whispers to Emily that she's not told Norris about Ramsay yet. Emily is now tapped and between the two of them, the news is told. Norris refuses to go in that case and storms out. "Is that man going to take over every aspect of my life?" he spits. (And I think that's exactly the problem. Ramsay probably took their mother's attention away from Norris during the year between when he showed up and when she died and now, in Norris' view, Ramsay is stealing *his* friends).

Sally is ranting and Kevin is really ticked off. Sophie tries to tell them that Fiz isn't really doing anything wrong and anyway, Jesus forgave, after all, so they should too. Sally, Rosie and Kevin decide to give Fiz a piece of their mind so Sophie runs after them trying to stop them. In Number 5, Fiz is trying to make Chesney believe she only went to Stape for his sake and Chesney is having none of it. She promises to be honest but when he tells her to admit why she's really seeing Stape, she regurgitates the same things. She can't deny she's still in love with him when Chesney asks. Sally arrives and starts in on Fiz as soon as the door is opened, accusing Fiz of betraying her and then pushes her way in, wanting answers. Fiz tries to defend herself which only inflames Sally more and she launches at Fiz. Everyone is screaming and trying to pull them apart as this half hour ends.

Tvor

Oh dear, Sally and her family are over at Fizz's place creating merry hell. Sally dives at Fizz but Kevin restrains her. She shouts at Fizz about her visiting John Stape in prison. Rosie accuses Fizz of being just as mad as Stape. Fizz tries to defend herself but Sally points out that there are any number of teachers out there that could have helped Fizz with Chesney's schooling but "you chose a man who kidnapped and terrorised my daughter!" Chesney stands back and watches as Sally attacks his sister. Sally tells Fizz, "You're off your head. You're sick and you're dangerous!" Rosie oversteps the mark and makes a particularly obnoxious comment about Fizz being locked up and sharing a cell with John before Chesney finally intervenes and tells them that's enough. Sophie pleads with Kevin to take them all home. The Websters finally leave. Fizz tries to thank Chesney for protecting her. "Don't thank me," he says, "I agree with them." Chesney goes upstairs leaving Fizz crying and alone.

Out in the backyard beach, Michelle and Luke are having a high old time on their ridiculous date. They get to know a bit about each other through stories of their childhood summer holidays. Michelle tells Luke that the date they are on is like a holiday romance- not destined to go anywhere.

Norris is in the Kabin with Rita and Tina. He is making sure they know he will not change his mind about his half-brother. Rita tells Norris that he can enjoy his moral high ground, alone and watching the telly in Emily's front room while Ramsay is having a good time in the pub at the quiz night. Norris realises that Ramsay might win the pub quiz which Norris himself wants to do and, under the guise of making sure Ramsay doesn't feel intellectually superior to all of Norris's friends, Norris makes plans to attend the pub quiz after all.

Chesney comes downstairs and refuses to listen to Fizz's reasons for going to see John in prison. He asks Fizz if she remembers what John did to her and gives her an ultimatum. He tells her "either you dump him, or I'm dumping you!" and leaves.

Over at Eileen's, Julie is desperately trying to bond with Eileen and has brought over The Sound of Music on dvd. Eileen is hesitant but eventually agrees to spending time with her new-found half-sister. But not without a bottle of something from Dev's. She goes out to get some alcohol with which to anaesthetise herself.

Sophie and Chesney are walking out in the street. Sophie asks Ches how Fizz is. "Mad," says Chesney, "She's visiting John Stape in prison. That is the medical definition of being mad." Sophie tries to be a voice of reason and points out that perhaps John has changed and should be forgiven. Chesney asks her if she has forgiven him for kidnapping her sister and scaring her family all half to death. "He pleaded guilty, he accepts his punishment, yeah, I forgive 'im," explains Sophie. Chesney thinks Sophie is as mad as Fizz.

Joe and Gary have a bitter argument outside Gail's house about whether or not Gary should be paid double time since he worked on a bank holiday. (Errr.... yes, he should.) Joe is refusing to pay him double time. Joe is still in a lot of pain from his back injury. Tina comes over when she sees a storm brewing but even her intervention doesn't help. Joe says some nasty things about Gary and Gary quits. All this is witnessed by Evil David who has just come out of the Kabin.

Fizz is at her place, confiding in Kirkeh about Chesney. Kirk is on Chesney's side and points out that Chesney just cares about her. "We all care about you but you don't give a stuff about us," he says, Ouch. Kirk leaves the room and Fizz gets on her mobile to the prison about a visit to John.

Ryan and Sian come back to Maria's place for a bit of teenage hanky panky. Sian seems very reluctant but Ryan is dead keen to start snogging. They are interrupted by Michelle and Luke. Sian runs off, embarrassed at being caught snogging with her boyfriend.

Fizz is getting into Lloyd's cab to go for a visit to John. Chesney sees her and tells her that he doesn't care about any of it, or her, any more. Fizz is hurt by Chesney's outburst but gets in the cab and goes anyway.

Sean has arrived home from his holiday to find Julie over-excited at the thought of watching The Sound of Music with Eileen. He has had a rubbish holiday owing to a rubbish love life. Eileen comes home and is delighted to find Sean home. Sean asks how Eileen feels in the wake of her father's death. Julie melodramatically hugs her sister and tells Sean how awful it was for both of them. Eileen thinks they should just get on with watching the film and communicates with her eyes to Sean how annoying she is finding Julie.

Evil David is in Roy's with Darryl. Darryl is refusing to spy on Tina for him and especially refusing to ask Tina if she fancies Gary or not.

Ramsay is in the pub and has made a pub quiz team with Ken and Emily. Norris panics and tells Rita that he will need reinforcements if he is to win the pub quiz. When Rita reminds him that she has offered to be on Norris's team he says, "Yes....exactly... Roy! Roy, come and join us, we need a third man!" Roy tries to explain he was just passing through but Norris has recruited him. Poppy asks Lloyd if he is OK since he will be quiz master and seems quite nervous. Rosie and Sally are in the bar gossiping about Fizz. They head over to where Kevin and Joe are chatting about Joe's back. Kevin warns Joe about the dangers of being addicted to painkillers. Kirkeh comes in and asks Kevin and Joe if they want to make a quiz team, "I'm dead good on pop music and daytime TV." Joe looks like he has just sucked on a lemon and says no, Kevin is more polite and tells Kirk they are just there to have a quiet pint. Lloyd starts the quiz. Question one, "Who designed the Sydney Opera House in Australia?" Ramsay seems confident, Norris looks worried as Rita asks, "Was it the bloke who did the Gherkin?" and Kirk is lost. (It wasn't the bloke who designed The Gherkin, it was Jorn Utzon).

Fizz is in prison seeing John. They are both pleased to see each other. John tells Fizz that he is feeling much better. Fizz looks like she is going to cry.

Michelle and Luke go back to Luke's place with Fish & Chips for their dinner. They flirt some more. Michelle later finds a picture of Luke's old girlfriend, Honour who died in an accident. Michelle kisses Luke.

Back in the pub the quiz is still ongoing. "In 1976, the favourite to win the best film was Taxi Driver. But it didn't win. What did?" Oh! Oh! I know! Rocky.

Back in the prison, Fizz has been telling John all about what has happened to her since Chesney discovered that she has been visiting John in prison. John is dismayed and tells Fizz that she deserves so much more than the hassle that he's always brought her. Fizz protests that she doesn't mind and that Chesney will come round but John is still unhappy. She tells him that she loves him but John tells her that they have to stop seeing each other and breaks up with her.

In the pub, the quiz has come to its climax. Norris's and Ramsay's team have drawn and the Norris and Ramsay must answer a head to head question. "Who knocked Andy Murray out of the Australian Open in January this year?" Norris frantically searches his mind for the answer and eventually comes up with it before Ramsay manages to. "Fernando Verdasco!" he shouts and Norris's team have won the quiz. "The best man won," says Ramsay, graciously. The ice seems to have been broken a touch.

At Eileen's Eileen is bored stiff with The Sound of Music but Julie and Sean are enjoying it thoroughly.

Fizz is arguing with John. She refuses to accept his decision that the can't see each other any more and even her tears and pleading can't change his mind, "I don't want to see you again, I don't want to hear from you. It's the right thing to do. Look at me. Say goodbye," he says. Fizz doesn't want to say goodbye. John gets up and leaves while Fizz shouts after him, crying.

Stella McLoughlin


Tuesday 26 May

We open with Fiz sitting alone at the kitchen table, looking completely shell-shocked.

Round in Peter's flat, Blanche is moaning about having to climb the stairs to get up there. "It's like K2, it feels like bone against bone," she grumbles. Peter tells her he could either bankrupt himself getting a stair lift put in, or she could go home, which he thinks she actually is hankering for. He advises her to keep quiet about the hips though, if that's what she wants. He thinks she could get a better deal with a few carefully chosen words, as she'd been complaining about the room there a while back. She agrees, and says it was like the sea facing room in a B&B. "Well?" he says. "Are you suggesting blackmail?" she asks. He tells her that in her case it's more like greymail. "A lick of paint, a bit of wallpaper, that's all I'm saying," he says, winking. "I like you, Peter," Blanche replies, "I always did!"

Julie is coming along the Street and spots ‘Auntie Deirdre' picking up the milk off the doorstep. She tells her there's a psychic on at the community centre next week, she's going to get tickets for her and Eileen and wonders if Deirdre would like to join them. Deirdre says it's not really her thing and knows that Eileen is cynical about such things. Julie thinks her dad might be in the local ether, loitering in the lobby of the afterlife. Deirdre just tells her to check with Eileen first.

Michelle creeps home, having been out all night. Maria tells her she's a dirty stop-out, and Michelle tells her she'll fill her in later, she's late for work.

Over at the factory, Luke is on the phone to Tony who is apparently in Stoke for the day. Luke tells him to bring back a pot. Out on the factory floor, Julie comforts Fiz, telling her she has to face the world. Sally thinks Fiz couldn't sink any lower than to be told by a convict that he doesn't want her any more. Janice says that with Stape not wanting her and Chesney disowning her, she'll end up like the bag lady in the precinct. Just then Rosie comes in and orders Julie and Fiz back to their stations. Julie tells her to shut up, and points out that they're not stations, they're machines. Rosie asks if she'd like a verbal warning (who died and made her the boss?) "Would you?" replies Julie, and takes a step towards her. Just then Luke opens the door and asks Julie for a word. As Fiz goes back towards her machine, Rosie tells her she's serious, the tissues will be coming out of her wages! (All of 20 pence I should imagine!) "If this carries on I'll have to report you," she says. (That girl deserves a slap!)

Luke tells Julie that he's going out, and Tony's in Stoke, so she will be in charge for the day. He asks what's wrong with Fiz and she tells him it's women's problems. "Tell me more," he say, and she looks horrified until he says he was joking, and goes off out.

Michelle finally makes it to work, late, and Peter's not happy with her. "Late night was it? he asks. She tells him that if he must know she spent the evening with Luke. He snaps at her to make sure she sets her alarm tomorrow and not to make a habit of being late. Then Luke comes in and puts a ten pound note on the counter. "A tenner on you and me going home together," he says, and they start chatting. Peter listens and then asks how he can help. Luke confesses that he came in to see Michelle and to see if she could go to Cartmel races with him. "Ooh the horses!" says Michelle, "can I?" but Peter gets his own back by saying that it's too short notice and he can't do without her. Luke tries to persuade him, but Peter's adamant. Luke then tries to persuade Michelle to resign, she's leaving soon anyway, but she won't.

Back in the factory, the argument over Fiz seeing John Stape continues. Sally asks if she seriously expects everyone to believe that she only went to see him for Chesney's benefit. "In need of educational advice, call your local jail!" sneers Sally. Fiz gets upset and says he just told her what books to buy and what to set for Chesney's homework. Janice is just in the process of reminding Sally that she was studying for an A-level with John Stape at one time when Luke comes back and tells everyone to get on with their work.

Back at the bookies, Peter tells Michelle she just can't go swanning off with her boyfriend whenever she feels like it, he pays her to work there. Then he adds that if she'd turned up on time she might have stood a chance.

At the Barlow's, Ken tells Blanche they're concerned about her hips. She tells him they're fine, and they'll never get her on a stair lift. He tells her that Deirdre misses her, but she tells him she doesn't miss the room, the wallpaper's peeling, the skirting is chipped and there's draughts whistling through. "It rains in there occasionally," she says. He says that's an exaggeration, but says they could make it more comfortable. Blanche smiles. "How so?" she queries.

Michelle tells Peter she knows what today was really about, and Luke isn't her boyfriend. He points out that she could have resigned, but she says she wouldn't do that. Then Peter hands her an envelope, and she asks what it is. "My best wishes," he says. She tells him she's not leaving until Monday and he says he knows. He adds that she doesn't have to open it now, so she says she'll see him later and heads off out of the door.

Ken takes Blanche home. "Look who I've got!" he says to Deirdre, who just stares. "You can take down the bunting," says Blanche. Deirdre tells her she wants an apology or she can just turn around and go back to Peter's. "I - am - sorry" says Blanche. "Good!" says Deirdre and then starts talking to Ken about mothballs. As she goes off upstairs, Ken whispers, "Would it have killed you to sound as if you meant it?" Blanche says she did, but he's already agreed to redecorate!

Michelle gets home and opens the envelope from Peter. She stunned to find Eurostar vouchers so that Ryan can visit her while she's away.

Chesney is talking to Sophie and Ben. Ben's amazed to find that Kenzie Judd is the reason that Chesney stopped going to school. He tells Ches that Kenzie is frightened of Phil. "Phil? Wheelchair Phil?" Chesney is amazed. Sophie tells him that apparently Phil gave Kenzie a Chinese burn in infant school and Kenzie's been terrified of him ever since. "If Judd's giving you aggro, Phil's the man," she tells him. Ben tells him that he'll also have him for backup if he needs him. Chesney points out that Ben is against violence. "What'll you do, forgive him into submission?" he laughs.

Ryan and Sian are in the ginnel and Ryan tells her they could sneak up to his room if she wants but she's worried that his mum will be in. He says they'll say they're doing homework. He asks if she thinks he'll go off with someone else if they don't do IT - but they could actually do homework if she wants. "OK," says Sian, and they kiss, but just then Maria comes out to the bins. "Oops! Sorry!" she cries, and Ryan tries to say they were just talking. Sian decides she has to go, and hurries off.

Blanche, Ken and Deirdre start to discuss the redecoration of Blanche's room. She thinks she should have the casting vote and says she fancies some of the velvety wallpaper. Deirdre then shocks them both by saying she'd like to go and see the Rolling Stones.

Michelle knocks at Peter's door, and he opens it wearing just his underwear, he's just got out of the shower. He invites her in and starts to put on a dressing gown, only to find it's Blanche's. Then he does the same with Simon's, so eventually puts on a pair of trousers. He then apologises to her for the way he behaved. She asks if he's buying Ryan presents to get into her good books. He points out that although the vouchers are for Ryan, it's a present for her too. He says that he should have let her go to Cartmel, but he was jealous. Then he tells her he really likes her and doesn't want her to go. She wishes he didn't fancy her and they could just be friends. He tells her he's tried not to fancy her but he couldn't do it, and tries again to persuade her not to go. She thanks him again for the vouchers and gets up to go. "What's the strangest place you've ever pulled?" he asks, desperately, "ever tried a flat above a bookies?" Clearly not impressed, Michelle replies: "Goodnight Peter," and bangs the door on her way out. Peter sits and cringes over the awful chat-up line he just used!

Anne Logan


Thursday 28 May

At breakfast, Maria thinks Michelle seems a bit out of sorts. Michelle avoids a definitive answer by going to use the bathroom while it's free. Maria apologises to Ryan and hopes she hasn't messed things up with Sian.

Joe, meanwhile, is hunting high and low in the kitchen, weeping with pain and frustration before finally spotting the pills on a table near the door in the lounge. He gulps some down just before Gail comes downstairs and when she asks how the back is he snaps at her. She tells him that going to work each day can't help his back but he says he's got no option. Despite the problems he had with Gary Windass, he could do with his help today. David's downstairs now and asks whether Gary has found another job. Joe thinks not. David looks very thoughtful when Joe says Gary must be flat broke.

Chesney tells Fiz he's decided to go back to school. Ryan and Phil have told him they'll let him hang round with them to avoid Kenzie Judd. Fiz tells him she's glad and will phone the school to sort everything out. Chesney snaps (it's a day for snapping) that he's going back so he doesn't have to spend time with Fiz. And it's not as if she's giving him proper teaching. "I don't care what you do any more," he tells her.

In the bookies', Peter is off somewhere, leaving Michelle in the shop. She doesn't want to speak about what he said yesterday and seems relieved when Luke comes in. They speak about going out later on.

In the shop, Umed is very glad to see Audrey because Amber was confusing him with economic theory. Audrey seems a bit harassed and Umed invites her for a drink so they can share family problems.

Peter meets Ryan in the street. Peter tells him to get round to Sian's and apologise - if there's one thing a woman can't stand, it's being ignored. Michelle sees them and comes over and Ryan goes off. Peter won't tell her what they were talking about.

The doctor is checking out Joe's back. It's been bad for nearly eight weeks and she thinks a scan might help, and referral to an orthopaedic surgeon might be necessary. Joe dismisses the pain and says his back's a lot better. As she talks to him about perhaps reducing the dose if it's so much better, we see the computer screen with his "history" - apart from his back injury, for which he's taking 30mg 4xdaily of dihydrocodeine (in a brown bottle, it says) and ibuprofen, apparently his ONLY previous medical history is a bout of depression in early 2004, which kept him in bed for three months and in hospital for some of the time. Oh, and his postcode is M10 9KM, and something measures 77cm, though it doesn't say what! (Isn't the Pause button wonderful?) Joe's a bit worried about a lower dose, but the doctor tells him they can review it in three weeks.

Michelle's home for lunch with Maria, who warns her against getting involved with Peter Barlow. "You don't make these decisions with your head, though," Michelle tells her. Maria says that with someone like Peter Barlow you have a jolly good try. Michelle says Peter's so good with Ryan and she and Peter get on so well. Maria can't believe what she's hearing. "What about Luke?" Michelle says Luke is a lovely bloke but he just doesn't do it for her the way Peter does. She doesn't know what to do about all this, though.

Len meets Gary in the street and thinks he's coming home for his lunch. Then he realises Gary is carrying cornflakes and has probably just got up. Gary, annoyed, confesses that he hasn't got a job any more.

Gail arrives home and Joe tells Gail a pack of lies about what the doctor said, denying that she mentioned the possibility of surgery and boasting about now being on a reduced dose of the tablets.

In the shop, Umed asks Michelle to sing for him and feeds her a load of guff about knowing one of the most famous singers in India. Luke comes in and confirms his date with Michelle.

Audrey tells Natasha that she and Gail are off to see Sarah in Milan and tells Natasha she'll be in charge. When Audrey lets slip that she's going out tonight, David teases her about being on a hot date. She confesses she's having a drink with Umed. Graeme comes in and David asks if he can go on his break now. Audrey grumbles but lets him.

Outside, they sit in the bus stop. When David sees Gary coming towards them, he prompts Graeme to say No and starts going on about a potential burglary target. Graeme plays along and Gary asks what they're talking about. Rather than tell him, David gets up and drags Graeme away round the corner.

Anna Windass dashes into the bookies. She's looking for Eddie. She needs to find his passport ready for their anniversary trip to Paris next week. She goes on about romance, then realises she's rambling and leaves.

Outside, she meets Len who asks about Gary. She tells him Gary just came home one night and said he didn't have a job any more.

Tony offers to help Maria get her shopping inside. As he's carrying the bags, he's spotted by Natasha, who hurries over to protectively stroke Tony as she tells him they're meeting tonight. Then she gives him a lingering kiss. Tony makes an excuse and leaves. "You know, you don't have to mark your territory for my benefit," Maria tells her. Natasha says she wasn't, though she admits she was jealous of the attention Maria was getting. "Till he told me he's only helping you because he feels sorry for you, and there's no way he goes for pregnant, hormonal women - his words," Natasha says bitchily.

Len fronts Joe and tells him to take back Gary, or he'll make life very difficult for Joe. He threatens to tell Gail. Joe puts Len straight on the reason Gary was sacked - he refused to work for less than double time on the bank holiday. Now, Joe says, he's working at half speed on his own thanks to Gary. Len looks thoughtful and heads down the street just as a car comes past slowly with a man looking from side to side.

Tony arrives at Maria's with some projected figures for Lads Rags. Maria seems a bit offhand so he asks if she's OK. She says she is but, when he persists, tells him what Natasha said. "No wonder you're upset," Tony says. He tells her he told Natasha he wanted to help, but the rest is an outrageous lie.

In the street, Ryan and Sophie chat and are seen by the stranger. He zooms his car down to the street, screeches to a halt, leaps out and grabs Ryan by the collar, backing him up against a drain pipe. Sophie recognizes him as Sian's dad. He accuses Ryan of forcing himself on Sian last night. "I trusted you with her!" Sophie sees Peter coming and appeals to him for help. Peter tells the man to let go of Ryan. "Or what?" demand the man.

The End of this special Thursday episode, moved from Friday to make way for Britain's Got Talent.
Margaret Carr


Friday 29 May

This week has been a bit confusing in update towers and there is only episode this evening - the first Friday episode was on Thursday evening and so we go straight into the action. In the days of yore the Street team used to associate an episode with a particular day but that no longer seems to happen.

And so we start with Peter intervening in Ryan getting a good beating for whatever he has not done with Sian from her father. Apparently Ryan slept with his underage daughter last night. Ryan instantly denies it, claiming they had an argument and did not stay. Powers refuses to believe it. Ryan protests his innocence insisting he respects Sian. Peter backs him up saying he is a good kid and that he knows the truth when he hears it and so does the father. Powers looks at them and tells them he had not better not find out any different before walking off to his car. Ryan relaxes with a deep sigh of relief and says that he thought he was dead meat. Ryan looks to Sophie for support but she looks at him with disgust and turns and heads for home.

David wants Graeme's help - but not to actually do anything bad. Graeme makes a meal in his own special way of pointing out that he is not the crazy cat that once occupied this body. Then Graeme kisses him on the cheek which makes David depart rapidly.

Ryan returns home and tells Michelle about events - at which point for some reason rather than support her son gently goes into overdrive shouting about the girl's father. Ryan tells her to calm down - after all Peter has already sorted it out. She struggles to get her head around this so Ryan has to spell out how good Peter was in standing up for him. She is annoyed by this but he tells her it is all sorted now. A little later she tells him she trusts him - but something must lay behind the events. Ryan denies he has slept with Sian. Michelle says that she knows boys of his age have urges and Ryan who knows he is innocent asks for someone to kill him - but there is then a knock at the door. It is little Miss Innocent, Sian, she apologises - her father is not really a bad guy, just flies off the handle sometimes ((rather like Michelle if you ask me). Ryan decides they will go out - but Michelle wants to finish the conversation later (as if).

In the Rovers Umed is chatting up Audrey, which annoys Bill. [Look Bill you had your chance and you blew it]. Umed apparently took on the Mumbai Mafia when they tried to take his vegetable cart. Apparently he is a wrestling master and all seven of them ate dirt. No-one believes him. Audrey accepts Umed's invitation to dinner and Bill departs claiming he has some paperwork to do. Umed orders another round of drinks as he wants to reveal how he was cheated out of a role in Octopussy.

And outside the factory we have another odd event. Natasha bumps into Tony who seems less than enthusiastic when she kisses him. She asks where they are going and he says she can go to hell. He tells her that he cannot understand why she said those things to Maria and when she asks to explain he refuses. She does anyway - saying she was jealous and she had simply reacted to Maria's comments. She promises to make it up to Maria - it is not that important. Tony disagrees. He can ignore her non-existent personality and mind numbing conversation but he finds jealousy a very ugly trait and it leads to other base emotions of disgust and anger (most of which he is displaying at this point). He suggests she gets out of his sight and tells her not to make him ask a second time. As she goes he tells her not to upset Maria again - or they might really fall out he adds with some Gordon style menace. Oops dumped.

Luke arrives to collect Michelle for their date but she blows him out. She explains about events with Ryan and how she needs to spend her last night on the cobbled Street, not out on the cobbles but with her son as he needs her time and attention. He accepts this and she kisses him and says "See you".

On Maxeem's bench Sian and Ryan are sat when Sophie wanders over pointing out that they had an agreement (presumably over who could lose their virginity - it is not clear). Sian tells Sophie that her father was wrong - and Ryan says that Sian will not tell him why either. Sian comes clean - she had a packet of condoms in her bag! Sophie walks off disgusted and Sian tells her that she can go and tell God on her. Sian says sorry to Ryan - she should have been more careful. She had claimed they were for a mate - but her father would not believe her. Ryan says she should not have had them and Sian agrees that she knows that now. Ryan says she has misunderstood - he means she should not have had them at all and takes her hand. But she thought he wanted to - but Ryan reassures her that they are fine as they are and she agrees.

Ches tells Soph that he will be glad to get back to school - he just wants out of the house. She says things will get better but Ches knows they won't, indeed can't. He does not trust Fiz and although she's his sister he does not know her any more. Later we see Fiz and Chesney arguing whilst eating dinner. He tells he wants nothing from her. He will get his own meals and she will not even know he is there. He tells her that if she is dishonest again he will run away for good - not a threat a promise.

In the Rovers Graeme spots an unattached blonde so moves in for the kill. He suggests to Natasha that a problems shared is a problem aired. She growls in return the inevitable question - does he like breathing? He gets the message and points out that ignorance is bliss and departs. Luke stands the other side of her and the two have long glum faces. Poppy looks at them and declares them twins with those faces - same again? They reply in unison "Definitely".

Gary walks into the pub with a cut and bruised face - he tells David he had a debt to collect and he should see the state of the other guy. He motions him away from the bar. He tells David he knows he has a house job lined up and he wants a piece - he should forget Graeme - David needs a pro - him. David wants to think about it but Gary won't let go - he wants an answer - yes or no? David thinks about it and then decides the Gary is in and that he would let him know when and where. Gary leaves, David and Graeme clink bottles with grins on both faces.

Audrey and Bill have an exchange over Umed. Bill you fool, upsetting her and calling Umed names will not help your case. Audrey just wants a laugh and joke - and Umed is amusing her.

At Maria's Michelle has little to do now she has finished packing and Ryan is not back yet, so she has a strange idea - perhaps she should go and thank Peter. And gets up to go. Maria is astounded but Michelle points out that there is no time like the present - she wants him to know she is grateful.

Maria meets Natasha and wants to know why she is upset - Natasha is surprised she does not know that Tony has dumped her. Maria said that she did not know - and indeed it is none of her business - she was simply friends with Tony. Natasha said that he made her feel like dirt - the man scares her and he is bad news. She tells Maria to watch out for herself - big time. [Which is more or less what Maria was telling everyone a few weeks ago].

Michelle is in Peter's flat thanking him for assisting Ryan. Peter smiles saying that he did not take a bullet for him. In any event neither of them know why Sian's father had got the wrong end of the stick. Peter offers her a cup of Darjeeling as he is recovering alcoholic and it is bad enough drinking endless cups of tea - but even worse drinking alone! She agrees to a cup of tea.

Maria goes to the factory and asks Tony about Natasha and he says that things always get messy when a break up is involved. He calls Natasha jealous and neurotic. He admits he might be a bit over the top - but he cannot change the way he is. Maria tells him she is not asking Tony to change. He offers to go round and apologise but Maria tells him not to be so silly - and anyway it is between Tony and Natasha. And Tony is glad it has not damaged their friendship.

Michelle tells Peter he makes a great cup of tea and he says that he will soon graduate to a full teapot! Anyway he has been dry for sixty days now and counting. She tells him that was great but he said he has good days and bad days and having the right company helps. And being a dad was something at which he was getting better. Michelle reckons he must be doing something right. And Ryan needs a good male influence - but as Peter points out few people in the Street would consider him in that role. Michelle says she is not most people and Peter agrees and says he would not have made it so far without her. She tells him not to be silly but they both lean towards each other he says that she has never judged him, not even after the fire and if someone as amazing as her does not write him off then he must have something worth saving. She takes his hand and tells him that she things worth saving and Peter should not let anyone say differently. He responds by saying that he wishes she had said so sooner and he also wished they did not have to say goodbye. She leans closer still and kisses him and as he puts his arms around her the kissing becomes far more serious and is fully reciprocated.

And where will that take us. I will be back next week see you then.
K Richard W



Updates written by K Richard Whitbread, Martin Rosen, Ann Logan, Margaret Carr, Stella McLoughlin, Tvor.