P'nawn da and greetings from a thunder, lightening, hailstone and torrential rain hit Wales. I'd like to know just where they got that sunshine for the Platt/Battersby storyline.
I've had a couple of emails from people who've been *slightly* confused by my nicknames. I've even been blamed for some of the Rattler and Annie's! ;) So, in future, when I think up a new nickname I will put the real character name by the side of it at first. Btw, for anyone who wants to know more about the nicknames that the updaters use, or Corrie related stuff in general, then don't forgot to check out the excellent web pages run by that Slinky Canadian Feline, ronniecat. She's at http://personal.nbnet.nb.ca/oliverb/nickname.html
Has anyone seen Adam Rickitt's new acting role? Advertising ITV2. Yes really! And he still hasn't improved. And he's still as nauseous looking as ever. Still, at least he had clothes on.
My lovely whippet Sam has yet again come to help with this update. He's terrified of thunder and lightening and follows me everywhere (poor baby). On with the update.
At a caravan site somewhere in North Wales, the Platt and Webster children are having their breakfast. The Treen throws her arms around Florence.
GAIL - I'm so proud of you.
MARTIN - If it had been anybody else. Anybody else. Hitler. Mussolini. Pol Pot. Then, yes, I might agree. But yes, I am a nurse and I saved him and that's what nurses do but LES BATTERSBY!
GAIL - I'm still proud of you.
MARTIN - Yeah, well, let's look on the bright side. He might have a relapse.
GAIL - Oh, you don't mean that!
Cadfael comes out and says what a hero Florence is and how proud the Treen must be of him.
GAIL - He just wishes it wasn't Les Battersby.
SALLY (to Martin) - Even so, you saved a human life. That must be a wonderful feeling.
Florence says if Peat Bog Man dares to try and claim compensation 'I'll take him back to that bar and plug him back in'. They all laugh (and so did I).
In the Cornershop, the Moonbeam (Nita) and Vile Vikram are talking. She is telling him about her new job. Loathsome Linda and the Refresher are also in the shop. The Loathsome One is saying 'his wife's gone and walked out on him' (no prizes for guessing who she's on about). As they leave, the Moonbeam and Vile Vikram continue their conversation. Moony says that next week the Vile One will be running the shop instead of her, which is probably what their father wanted in the first place.
The Witch is just about to leave her Wardrobe for work. The phone rings. It's Lord Hades for Cleopatra. Cleo has a terrible hangover and doesn't really want to talk to him. He shown on the other end of the phone listening to every word they are saying and getting irritated. He is sarcastic with Cleo. He wants to come and see her in half an hour. She says can he make it a couple of hours. He sneers at her about her hangover.
Back in North Wales, Xena is asking her neanderthal husband if he is all right. Toyah wants to know what it was like being electrocuted. Owen comes over to ask how the Peat Bog Man is as his father is concerned. After Owen has gone, Toyah says, about Owen, 'what do I have to do eh? Get myself gift wrapped and delivered to his front door.' Xena replies 'come on love; it's the countryside. They're a lot slower round 'ere.' Lol! (Just wait for those letters of complaint to come pouring into the Granada Studios). Boggy picks up on this and says that Owen must be slow if he thinks all that matters is the microphone and says Owen will be the one getting the shock when he gets home and starts talking to his lawyer. Xena says no way, not after last time when Florence lost his job. And has he been over there to thank him? 'HE'S A NURSE! THAT'S HIS JOB' comes his ungracious reply (oh dear).
In the Cornershop, the Moonbeam is stocking the shelves. Her father and brother are in the backroom. Vile Vikram wants his dad to tell Moony she can't have the job. Ravi says she is over 18, she can do what she wants. Vile Vikram doesn't want to run the shop. His father replies 'so what if my daughter is deserting me, as long as I still have my son to rely on.' He approaches the Moonbeam to tell her what her brother has just said.
NITA - I'm sorry dad; I'm letting you down aren't I?
RAVI - You certainly are.
NITA - It doesn't mean I don't love you or that I'm not grateful for everything. It's just
RAVI - One has to make one's own mistakes and you certainly are doing.
Lord Hades has called round to see Cleo. He is smirking about her hangover. He reckons 'it must be one large party for you and the merry widow. Men by the coachload.' Then they continue to have the same conversation they've had for the last two weeks with him blaming her for everything when it was his entire fault.
Back at the North Wales caravan park, Xena and Toyah are listening to a radio, which is playing Catatonia's 'Dead from the Waist Down' (now that is just a little *too* obvious). Peat Bog Man is still prattling on. Xena and Toyah are really fed up with him. Toyah reckons the reason Owen doesn't want anything to do with her is because Boggy is the 'camp joke' (bless her).
Meanwhile, Boggy is talking to the Platts, thanking Florence. He will buy them a drink later. All the aggro is now behind them, he claims. Florence looks thrilled.
GAIL (giggling) - You've got a friend for life there.
MARTIN - Yeah, well I don't want a friend for life.
GAIL - Well, not that one.
MARTIN - The man that saved Les Battersby. No one will talk to me now. We might as well move somewhere different where I'm not gonna get recognised.
Back in the Wardrobe, Lord Hades and Cleo continue their conversation. She wants to know how he's managing at home. She just needs some time. He rambles on some more about how he's a victim. He brings Steven Reid up again. Yakka yakka yakka. (What you don't understand Mike is that Canadian men are sexy. Just look at Sebastian Spence <swoon, gasp, faint>). He reckons that Witchie Poo is pulling Cleo's strings. He will come back to talk to her tomorrow.
End of Part One
Part Two
In the Rovers, Leanne is telling the Big Red she's been working in the Rovers for almost a month. Nagron (Betty Turpin) tells Reet that she's been working there for 30 years.
Loathsome Linda and the Refresher are talking about Lord Hades and Cleopatra. The Cardassian has come in and the Loathsome One has decided to ask her about it. At the bar, the Cardassian asks for a glass of red wine (must be on a promise). The Big Red asks Jack if she can have a word with Natalie. Loathsome approaches the Cardassian and asks her if it's true about Mr and Mrs Baldwin. The Cardassian splutters that it's none of their business. Loathsome implies that it's the Refresher who wants to know and not her. Lol! She tries to get more out of the Cardassian but to no avail. Natalie comes out (wearing sleeves!) to see the Big Red who wanted to see her about 'something Betty happened to mentioned.'
In the Cornershop, the Moonbeam is talking to Curly. Vile Vikram implies that Curly fixed it for his sister to get the job at Freshco because she took him out to lunch. Curly says she got the job because she was the best candidate. Vile Vikram prattles on in his own way as Curly leaves. Moony wants to know why he can't be happy for her. He is. She says she will have a word with their father to get him some help in the shop (yay! the Bring Back Maud Campaign starts here). He says he needs help like she did to get him out of there.
Meanwhile back in North Wales, Xena approaches the Treen, who is dressed in a long black robe sacrificing fluffy bunnies over an alter, with Boyd Rice <no relation> looking on in the background. (Well, she's not really, she's reading a book but as the pour woman doesn't seem to get any excitement, I thought I'd invent some for her).
JANICE - Left you on your own then?
GAIL - Kids wanted to go to the beach.
JANICE (sitting down) Well they're at that age aren't they? Whereas my Toyah she doesn't know what she wants. Spends her time moping. Les has gone to bed. I think that electricity finally caught up with him.
GAIL - Martin said he'd done well to recover so fast.
JANICE - It's thanks to your Martin he recovered at all. He did come over and apologise didn't he?
GAIL - This morning yeah.
JANICE - He said. But you never know your caravan's a lot nicer than ours.
GAIL - It's not bad. Do you want to come in and have a look around? I could make us a cup of tea.
JANICE - I wouldn't mind one. I'm not disturbing you though am I?
GAIL - I was just about to make one for myself.
At the Rovers, Jack is fiddling with a packet of B&H (which is what I could do with right now. Not a packet mind, just one) and says he still gets tempted. Natalie comes out and says, of Nagron, 'you won't believe the trouble I've had getting her to come in' (oh yes we would!). 'She's moaned and groaned' (no! not Betty?!) and Natalie has had to promise a taxi to bring her and take her home. Natalie asks for a volunteer to get a cake. Jack and Leanne point at each other. Natalie says it's lucky she's already ordered one then.
Back in North Wales
JANICE - No, he were a nice lad your Nick. I were delighted when our Leanne brought him home.
GAIL - And now he's left her and run off to Canada.
JANICE - You never know which are gonna work and which aren't. It's a right lottery. Martin's your second isn't he?
GAIL - Yeah!
JANICE - Well, look at me and Les. I mean most folk wouldn't give us 6 months when we got wed. Sometimes I wish they'd have been right.
Owen comes across. He needs to see Xena later.
JANICE - Funny lad. I think he's after our Toyah. What was I saying? Oh yeah. I know what most folk must think about me and Les as more often than not I'm thinking it myself. Les does love me. I mean, I know he lies about stuff, and he's bone idle, and he fancies other women (bloody hell, he sounds like a real catch, doesn't he ladies?) but he does love me. And there's nobody else ever done that.
Back at the Rovers, Natalie, Leanne and the Big Red are preparing for Nagron's arrival. Lord Hades and the Necrobutcher are at the bar. Lord Hades asks the Necrobutcher if his divorce has come though. Not yet, and why did he have to bring that up?
Vera, in a shocking pink jacket, is having a conversation with Curly.
VERA - Do you think our Jack's looking all right? He's making a real effort you know. Stopped smoking, cut back on booze. But I'm wondering, if it's a bit harmful, you know, to your body when you've been used to a regular intake.
CURLY - You mean he's been running that long on nicotine and alcohol he might suffer from withdrawal symptoms.
VERA - Well yeah.
CURLY - I don't think it works like that Vera.
Nagron arrives!
NATALIE - You know how to make an entrance.
BETTY (huffing and puffing) - Oh, right. Well I'm not stopping here to be made fun of.
NATALIE - Eh, eh! Betty!
BETTY - I'm five minutes late and there's all this palaver. I don't know why you wanted me in the first place. You've got all you lot behind the bar.
Natalie then tells her they have brought her here to celebrate her 30 years service. Betty actually smiles. (and I fell on the floor). Natalie produces the cake. (Question for people who've watched Corrie for a lot longer than I have. Has Betty ever been anything but a stroppy, miserable, interfering old cow?)
Back in North Wales, Xena is finishing with Owen. Whatever has happened between them has to stop. She reckons she is to blame as she is older than him and that she loves Les despite his faults. Why doesn't he take Toyah out for the night? He wants her. He can't have her; she's spoken for.
Back at the Rovers, Vera is asking Nagron who her favourite landlady has been. 'Mrs Walker.' 'That old crow'. Lol! (Don't worry Vera, it's only because Mrs Walker was a miserable old bat, too).
The Big Red approaches Lord Hades to ask him about his situation with Cleo. He says he'll know tomorrow if he still has a marriage (wow! Can't wait!). Credits roll.
Written by Peter Whalley
Well some lovely scenes between Gail, Janice and Martin.
Also nice scenes between Natalie, Jack and Leanne and Curly and Vera. The Cornershop storyline is also proving interesting but surely I can't be the only one getting few up with the Baldwin saga by now.
That's it from me. Hope you liked it.
Hwyl fawr Jane
Hiya folks!!!! ... Time again for another update....where DOES the time go?
Not an awful lot to report, we seem to have had all the seasons over the last week. It's been heads down, busy-busy at this end with pretty time-consuming installation of software on one of my PCs - I took the opportunity of getting the latest versions of various programs downloaded and doing a clean install. Always pretty time-consuming, but worth it in the long run.
Simon has his A-level exams starting tomorrow - for him, life has been in turmoil as over the last few months, he has dropped from 3 subjects to 2 to 1 - a few weeks back the remaining subject was reduced to AS level. He's a bright lad, but, not in an obviously academic way - in a lot of ways, he is not mature enough to handle university right now. So, over the next few weeks, he is going to have to look for work, hopefully to find something which matches his abilities - he's a decent caring lad with great communications and people skills, so I suspect something with a high personal involvement is where he will go. The interesting thing has been seeing how much happier he has been since he decided not to go down the academic route. Those of you who are parents out there will recognise the mix of emotions which go through your head at a time like this - you want the best for your child. Education certainly opens doors and it's easier to do as a full time activity but, as the saying goes "you can take a horse to water but you cannot make him drink" and WANTING to do something is the answer. Of course that has to come from within.
Having been through a certain amount of pain myself in the career stakes, I can hardly be churlish and deny him what I have taken for myself. Life is all too short and you might as well try to find something you enjoy and in which you excel - the confidence which comes from the successes that follow can easily become the driving force to push further. Simon needs to find that certain something, whatever it is.
I've now got rid of all of my client files and I must admit, I feel a whole lot happier about things. I'm still not ready for the stresses of a full-time job as yet, but I am using my time developing my thoughts - the next part will be embarking on a training route to generate qualifications to back up some of my skills and develop my skill levels further. The IT route certainly is the favoured one - training/support/technical writing give me so much satisfaction that these are very much the preferred routes
We're off shortly for a few days, walking in North Yorkshire, so that's summat to look forward to. Some exercise, great views, good food and a pint or three.. that's what it's all about....
Episode sponsored by Cadbury
The programme starts at the caravan park. Les, Janice and Toyah are outside their caravan at breakfast time. Toyah has just surfaced after a late night out - Janice asks her where she got to, but Toyah is coy. She tells them "it took him a while but we got there in the end." The realisation that she is referring to Owen provokes a "wayhey" from Les, immediately followed by a demand for an assurance that no "funny business" took place. It looks like the high spot of the evening was a game of bowls and a coffee in the recreation centre "oh yeah, we really went for it" quips Toyah sarcastically. She explains she was late back because they talked for a while. "So, you got your holiday romance after all?" asks Les. "Lucky you" is Janice's bitter reply.
At Audrey's, Alma is pondering about the male of the species, in particular, the Baldwin variety. She is perplexed because Mike is expecting her to go back to him after just two weeks. Audrey sarcastically explains that, of course, Mike did nothing wrong in the first place and that it wasn't his fault that he slept with another woman, because he was set up. Alma is exasperated that Mike genuinely cannot see how he has upset her. Audrey tells her that she can stay with her for as long as she wishes but then Alma starts to see things from Mike's point of view as to how long this is going to go on. Audrey tells her not to weaken but Alma is in pensive mood - is she here because she doesn't want to go back or because she wants to rub his face in it, she just doesn't know which. Audrey points out that Alma is in a strong position and that Mike will be worried about his image but Alma replies that Mike has never cared for what people think of him. Audrey tells her to hold her nerve but Alma is upset that it all seems to be about power, why cannot they just talk honestly about their feelings. Audrey ridicules the prospect of men talking about their feelings, "you're more likely to find fairies at the bottom of your garden." Alma is confused, she doesn't know whether she wants Mike back or not. Audrey reassures her that, until she makes her mind up, she is welcome to stay, "Let him sweat" being her parting shot.
Gail and Martin, Sally and the kids are packing up to leave the caravan park, not looking forward to the end of their holiday.
As the Platts drive off, Les has a moan to Janice about not being given a lift home by them. Anyway, Sally will have some room, thinks Les. Janice tells him that they are not going to beg lifts off other folk, they can use the train. "What, and pay money?" asks Les, incredulously. Janice is in a pretty crabby mood and tells Les to get a taxi booked to take them to the station.
After Les has gone, we see Toyah upset because Owen has not come to see her, especially as he knows they are leaving the site today. When Janice suggests that Toyah goes looking for him, the reply is that she doesn't want to look desperate and that he can come looking for her,
Sally is getting her cases out of the caravan and passes the girls sitting on the steps, looking pretty miserable. They admit they don't want to go back in case Uncle Greg is there. She reassures them that Greg is in prison where he belongs and they have to put the whole incident behind them.
In the Rovers, Linda is commenting to Alison how Mike and Deirdre are pally these days, but explains that she did hear that they had been involved once - when Alison explains that was years ago, Linda is full of answers. Now that Alma has left Mike, "you know what they say, once you've loosened t'lid on t'jar of honey, you can always go back to it! You don't have to eat it all at once, do you?" LOL!!! They snigger.
Across the bar, Mike hears the laughter and asks Deirdre whether people are talking about him. No more than usual, replies Deirdre, adding that this is what people who don't have a life thrive on, gossip!
Gary is doing a grand job shifting crates from the cellar, a point which is noted by an appreciative Jack. He gives Gary helpful hints on lifting heavy objects. Betty chips in sarcastically that, presumably Gary has never lifted anything heavy before. Gary diplomatically replies that he is happy to accept all the advice available. Jack is suitably flattered. When Vera wistfully says she wishes she and Jack were retiring to the sun, Gary and Betty tell her to count her blessings, at least she still has Jack. For how long, is Vera's worried reply, commenting that Jack is ion borrowed time.
Linda and Alison are still smirking and laughing, which provokes Mike to threaten Linda with the sack.
At the site, Les has just arranged a taxi to pick them up, but the site owner is hovering outside the phone-box. He asks whether Les has got over his accident, to which Les replies that he is feeling as fit as a fiddle, in fact, he is prepared to do Mr Williams a favour. He could be his resident DJ each summer, if the price was right. Unfortunately, Les' offer isn't well received by the site owner, who tells him that it is going to cost him a fortune to repair the PA system after Les blew it up. Les quickly back-pedals using his other commitments in Manchester as an excuse, "but I'll just take me refund." Mr Williams is incredulous, even though Les reminds him that he was offered a refund of his site fees in return for deejaying - "after what you just cost me?" asks the site owner. Les bluffs that he ought to consider himself lucky that he isn't claiming compensation. Mr Williams tells him he is out of pocket as a result of Les' escapade and reminds him that he needs to shift his motorvan. Les tells him that Charlie West will shift it on his return from holiday, but this is not acceptable to the park owner. It's not worth the cost shifting it, it's an eyesore and its taking up valuable space on his site and "I'm going to have to pay someone to ... or rather, YOU are going to have to pay someone to take it away." When Les replies that he has no money, the owner has an answer. Les will just have to work to pay off his debts. He explains that the "washrooms haven't been done for two days, smell something terrible those toilets do." Les backtracks, saying he has just had a major accident, but Mr Williams throws Les' words - "fit as a fiddle" - back at him. Les tells him they have a train to catch, but the site owner is not sympathetic, he will just have to get a later train...
... and the theme tune comes in, on cue for the end of part 1
After the ads, it's part 2
The second part of the programme commences at the Rovers. Linda
is having a moan at Mike Baldwin threatening to sack her - Alison
tells her she was pushing her luck. Linda is in one of her spiteful
moods and says that Mike needs to watch himself - he obviously
isn't aware that she knows about Greg Kelly blackmailing him,
if he's not careful, he might find someone else asking him for
money. Alison's reply is not to even think about it, as it would
be traced back to her (Alison) and she would end up getting sacked
herself. When Linda tries to say that you can only get sacked
for what you do at work, Alison reminds her that a little detail
like that is hardly likely to stop Baldwin. Linda sulks.
Outside the caravan, Janice is sulking too - she is deep in thought and that is shattered when Owen pops round. She is having to wait until Les works off his debt to Owen's father - Owen apologises but Janice tells him it's hardly his fault she married a booby. She asks whether he had a nice time last night - he tells her he did but he only went out with Toyah for her. She tells him that Toyah was heartbroken when he didn't show up this morning but his reply is that he only wanted to see her (Janice). "We've been through this" is Janice's reply. He tells her that he is going to miss her - she replies likewise but there is no future in it. At that point, Toyah surfaces much to Owen's embarrassment and Janice's relief. Toyah asks what happened to him this morning but he excuses his absence by saying he had jobs to do. She asks if he is free now and when he tells her that he is for a short while, Toyah takes the bull by the horns (as it were) - she takes his hand and takes off with him. The look on his face and the body language suggest someone not entirely happy with the course of events.
It's pay day at Underworld and Mike is handing out the pay packets to the workforce. He drops Linda's on her bench and she makes a point of smiling at him and thanking him. This provokes a look of suspicion on Mike's face, as he looks back at her. He hands Deirdre her pay packet and she asks him when he is due to see Alma next. Tonight, he replies, and he has told her that he wants an answer from her one way or another. Deirdre asks whether Audrey will be there - Mike says he doesn't know, but he wouldn't mind betting that she is putting in her two-pennyworth when he isn't there. Deirdre tries to reassure him that Alma is no fool and will only listen so much to other people - Mike is obviously not interested. He has a determined air about him, as he tells her that he will find out tonight. Deirdre grits her teeth.
Les has finished cleaning the toilets - he has a determined air about him too as he tells Janice that this is the last time he is coming to Wales. "They'll be weeping in the valleys when they hear that" is Janice's sarcastic reply. "Gridlock on all the approaches, more like, with people trying to get in here" is Toyah's cutting addendum. Les tells them that Wales has given him nothing but grief. Their taxi is being loaded up ready for the off. Toyah tells Owen to write to her - he says he will, but the look on his face is one of embarrassment and suggests that he won't. She goes to kiss him but he pointedly avoids her as she gets into the taxi. Poor Toyah is smitten with him and tells Janice in the car that probably the reason he didn't come over this morning is because he is shy. Janice asks whether Toyah will see him again - Toyah replies that she doesn't know but he has said that whatever happens he will always remember them coming to the park. Les is anxious to get out of the place and tells Toyah that if Owen is anything like his father, then she is better off without him.
Audrey is having a drink with Alma in the pub - she sees Fred on his own, looking all solemn and waves to him. He makes a point of ignoring her gesture, as Audrey confesses that she has had a falling out with Fred and they don't come much bigger than this. Alma tells her that grovelling is the only option.
Jack is busy studying the racing form in the paper when Gary comes up out of the cellar - he has found a joke pen while down there. "Look, she loses her top when you tip her upside down" he comments as Jack whips the pen away from him and sticks it in his shirt pocket. Jack tells him that he sometimes uses the pen to do his selections - Gary mischievously wonders what it was doing in the cellar. Jack tries to explain that he dropped the pen but Gary continues his leg-pull - it was near the cushion, in the corner, near the pipes. "Oh, THAT cushion, yes" replies Jack, thinking quickly, as he explains that in the winter it helps your backache when you have the cushion against the warm pipes. Jack tells him he can have the cushion as he doesn't need it now - Gary is chuckling as he quips "it was purely medicinal, eh?" Jack tells him that there is no sleeping on the job here!!! "In that case, I'll give it a try" replies Gary.
Audrey tackles Fred - is their friendship over? "I didn't say that" replies Fred, puffing on his cigarette, trying to look cool. She asks to rewind from the beginning. "So you were going to take me to Delphines..." she says. "Ooooh, THAT's it" replies Fred getting hold of the wrong end of the stick. Audrey swiftly corrects him and offers to take HIM instead, to make amends. When Fred tells her she would never be able to get a table, she informs him that she happens to know that the owner, Gaston, has put in a planning application for a coffee bar. She is sure he could squeeze them in for tomorrow night. Fred continues to play hard to get "I've an Abattoir Steering Committee meeting tomorrow night!" ROTFLMAPMPSMS!!!! Audrey knows that the way to a man's heart is through his gullet and just happens to mention that the foie gras and truffles is very good and the guinea fowl and roast parsnips is to die for, apparently, washed down with a claret. "Burgundy!" comes the quick correction from Weatherfield's resident gourmet, "it's red burgundy with game", he explains. The only problem is whether he could wriggle out of this meeting. "The Normandy apple tart with crme fraiche to finish and brandy with a petit four" she continues, with her seduction technique. "I think they might manage to steer without me for once, so I'll pick you up at eight" signals the weakening of Fred's resolve. "I shall look forward to it" is Audrey's pleased reply - Fred looks directly at her. The grin on his face is worth a million pounds - like a boy who has found his favourite toy after it got lost.
End of a short era for Nita, as she serves Emily, her last customer before she finishes for her new career with Freshco. Emily asks whether she gets a prize. "Why not?" is Nita's reply as she gives her a box of chocolates. When Emily protests she was only joking, Nita insists, after all Emily has been a good customer. Em, noble as ever, says she will donate it to the Hospital raffle - she wishes her good luck in her new job.
Vikram has been watching, and after Emily leaves the shop, make a sarcastic remark about Nita being generous with other people's soft centres. Nita tells him she is throwing caution to the wind, but Vikram tries to belittle her by saying that she is not being as bold as she makes out to be - if it doesn't work out, she knows she can always come back , it's not like she is burning any bridges, he tells her. She immediately challenges him and asks whether this devalues what she is doing. "I suppose not" he grudgingly concedes. "Well, why mention it? Supportive to the last, eh brother? Don't worry, I wont mess up" is her ace of trumps.
As she goes into the back, Ravi is there, ready to dish out another dose of family blackmail. "Sad day" is his opener - he tells her that, although he has accepted her decision, he is not happy, but if that is what she wants to do, then his middle name is not Canute. "Then you'll wish me well?" she asks - "It would be churlish of me not to, my dear Nita" he replies, kissing her. She has barely been able to thank him for his kind wishes when he springs a surprise on her. With a flourish he takes something out of his suit jacket, "for you", he exclaims. "What is it?" is her delighted response. "A rent book for the flat" is his riposte, "it was your suggestion... to put things on a business footing between us, so there is no misunderstanding, you said", he adds. The crestfallen look on her face doesn't disguise her disappointment. He compliments her on her real Desai initiative - if she keeps this up in her brilliant new career and her future will be rosy, he tells her.
While Mike is having a drink alone at the bar, Ken is telling Emily he has no sympathy for Mike, after all, Alma left him to marry Mike. Emily has forgotten that but tells Ken he mustn't gloat. It might not be good for the soul, but he just cannot resist it, he tells her.
Nita is having a drink with Linda, who tells her she must be mad, giving up her job. Linda bemoans her lot, telling Nita that she cannot stand her job, to which Nita replies that she cannot stand hers anymore, either.
As Mike leaves the pub, Emily gets up to tell him how sorry she is over what has happened between him and Alma. "These things happen" replies Mike thanking her for her concern. Emily, not knowing when to quit, continues that she is sure they could patch things up if they put their heads together. The sanctimonious look on Ken's face does not go unnoticed by Mike who asks whether Ken has something to say. "Nothing that the rest of the street isn't already saying" replies Ken smugly. Mike decides to drop it and leaves the pub.
In another corner, 3 parents are discussing their offspring. "Dear, oh dear, the younger generation" moans Ravi. "Nowt but trouble, aren't they?" chips in Rita. "See, it's no use mocking, Ravi's right" comments Fred. Ravi "You build them an empire.." Fred "... and you're not good enough for them..." Ravi "... you give your life to the business..." Fred ".... Whatever you do, it's wrong, so might as well not try, I say, you might as well not try.." Ravi ".. what do they say, youth is wasted on the young..." Rita tries to get some balance back into the discussion and tells them that Sharon seems happy, but Fred has an answer for that - she is older than Nita or Ashley. Rita tells him she sympathises with Ravi, but surely Ashley has done what's been expected of him in the business. Fred grudgingly concedes this point. Rita tells him he's done well considering Ashley is Fred's nephew, it's not as if Ashley is his own son. This example of foot in mouth silences Fred - it enables Rita to say that Fred should stop going on about Ashley "he's a grand lad in my view, be thankful you've got him." The proud smile on Fred's face speaks volumes.
Mike has called round at Audrey's to talk to Alma. Audrey tells him not to worry, she is just off on her way out. "Off on another binge?" he replies sarcastically. When Audrey challenges him indignantly, Mike continues with his little tirade, about how little sense her got out of Alma yesterday, because she was so badly hung over. His comments irritate Audrey, but she puts him down successfully - if she is an evil temptress, then after his recent experiences, he of all people should know. Touch!!
After Audrey has left, Alma tells him he asked for that put-down. Mike tells her, in a very matter of fact way, that he isn't here to talk about her. He asks her bluntly whether she has made her decision. She tells him that she is unsure. He is irritated at what he considers is her playing games and tells him that she either has or she hasn't. Pushed into corner, she makes tells him that, in that case, she hasn't. He gets stroppy, accusing her of breaking her promise that she would have an answer for him by now - her reply is that it was HE who made the statement, not her, she needs more time to think. When Mike tells her he just doesn't understand this, his statement hits a raw nerve. "Exactly, you don't have the slightest idea of how upset I am over what has happened" is her reply. Mike then continues digging his pit, is he supposed to hang around until she makes a decision, while half the street is talking about him? Alma points out that his position is not the one that merits sympathy - she is the one who has been humiliated. Again, he continues to bury himself, he cannot see why she is bothered because everyone is on her side. This makes Alma even more exasperated as she tells him she is not interested in sides - she is irritated at his perception of this being some sort of power struggle with bargain chips "come home and you can have your credit cards back..." "Well you will" he replies, totally oblivious to the reaction this is going to cause. She repeats that she is just not ready to decide yet. "That's not good enough" replies Mike. Alma explains she needs more time. "And that is your final word?" asks Mike. "For now" is her reply. "Right" says Mike dropping his bombshell, "well you can take all the time you want sweetheart, because if you can't make a decision, I can... I'm divorcing you.. " Alma looks at him in utter disbelief. He tells her he is not joking, he has had enough of this, he has done everything he can and if she won't listen to reason then he has no other option, he tells her. "You've talked enough. If I was you, I'd start looking for a solicitor.... and a good one" he tells her. He storms out of Audrey's house, slamming the door behind him, leaving Alma shell-shocked....
And with that... ... it is the cue for music and credits
Episode written by Martin Allen.
All material is, and remains, copyright property of Granada Television.
Well, how was it for me? A pretty good light-hearted episode on the whole.
Comedy moments - well, Les and indignation are always good for a laugh as the guy is so extreme and is always on the lookout for a scam. Toyah gets in her one liners with great finesse and the gridlock crack was a classic. Linda is a superbly scheming character and her honey jar lid was a good 'un - she's a classic pantomime character, the one you love to hiss and boo!!! Gentle leg-pulling of the kind you get between friends, with Jack and Gary.
My two favourite comedy moments were Fred talking about his Abattoir Steering Committee meeting (where DO they come up with these classics?) and Ravi, Fred and Rita considering a parent's lot - what lovely dialogue.
The main storyline of Mike and Alma came to a surprising ending with Mike showing his customary stubbornness and amazing lack of sensitivity. The breakdown of a relationship is always accompanied by a mix of confused emotions and this one is written and played out pretty realistically.
A quick summary - pretty good episode with a nice mix of drama and humour.
Anyway that's it for now.. well, I can't stand here gabbin', I've got pies to shift. Until the next time, take care... Tubby greetings and Tinkyluv from the Tinkster in Glorious Glossop....
Regards, Alan
Battersby's House: Toyah can't concentrate on her revision as she is thinking about Owen. Les scornfully remarks that a lad like that would have a different girl every week and would have forgotten Toyah by now. Janice tells Les not to be horrible, but looks rather embarrased as she agrees with Toyah that Owen wasn't like that, he was a nice lad.
Corner Shop: Vikram persuades Leanne to go out to a casino that evening. Ravi gets annoyed; Nita has begun her new job that day and Ravi has to serve the customers while Vikram chats up Leanne. Ravi wants to know where the marmalade is kept, but Vikram doesn't know, since it was always Nita who decided where everything went.
Audrey's House: Alma discusses her problems with Audrey. They conclude that Mike will use desertion as grounds for the divorce, even though it seems unfair to Alma. The ultimatum issued by Mike has really upset Alma, since she only wanted time to think and recover from the hurt, and had been thinking about going back to him. Alma wonders why he hasn't said he is sorry and he loves her. Audrey rather brutally observes that he doesn't love Alma and isn't sorry. Audrey immediately apolgises for sounding harsh, but Alma concedes that it seems like that to her as well.
Battersby's House: Janice goes through the post, flicking through some utility bills, then looks curiously at a smaller, hand-written envelope. She opens it and begins to read, her face growing concerned. Toyah comes downstairs to find out if there is anything for her. Janice quickly stuffs the letter into her overall pocket.
Kabin: Rita sends Sharon out to the wholesaler's, though they don't need much stuff. When Sharon says she may go shopping, Rita firmly tells her not to be long. Sharon goes out, and Rita chuckles to herself as she begins to unwind some broad blue ribbon from a roll.
Roy's Rolls: Gail can't believe it when Audrey tells her Mike is going to divorce Alma. Janice arrives for some tea and Gail asks if they got back alright. Audrey is surprised at the friendliness, and even more surprised when Gail says that they were all on holiday at the same place, and there was some thawing of relations. After Audrey has gone, Janice confides in Gail about Owen, and shows Gail the letter.
Corner Shop: Ravi points out to Vikram a small tin of baked beans priced at £1.89 and Vikram agrees to sort it out, but doesn't seem very bothered. (Note to non-UKers: even in a corner shop I wouldn't expect this item to be more than about £0.15, and £0.09 in a supermarket.) Ravi wonders aloud why he bothers, just as Rita arrives to buy some champagne 'for a celebration.' At that moment Nita comes in, it is her lunch break and she has come to tell her father not to phone her at work as losing the marmalade is _not_ an emergency.
Roy's Rolls: Janice tells Gail that she feels worse about Owen, knowing how much Toyah also liked him. Gail finds it slightly amusing that Janice had set Owen up with Toyah, though when Janice asks for advice, Gail says she must write to or phone Owen and firmly put a stop to it all.
Street: Outside the Kabin, Sharon arrives to find Rita putting the finishing touches to a big bow across the door. Rita explains that the Kabin is now officially Sharon's. Rita makes a speech as if she were launching a ship, and Sharon cuts the ribbon.
Break
Kabin: Sharon thanks Rita as they toast the future in champagne. Rita seems very relaxed and happy about the handover. Sharon says how grateful she is for all Rita's support over Ian and everything else.
Roy's Rolls: On the telephone, Janice repeatedly tells Owen that he must not write again and she cannot get involved. She hangs up on him, then tells Gail that she feels rotten about it, especially as it sounded as if he had got his hopes up on hearing that Janice was on the phone for him. Gail says it is better to have got it over with, and Janice ruefully remarks that she never was any good at dumping boys - that's why she ended up with Les!
Mike's Flat: Alma arrives on the doorstep. Inside, she asks Mike if divorce is really what he wants. He says it seems that it would be for the best. She says if the divorce threat was just a bluff, then it has worked and she wants to talk. Mike looks pleased.
Battersby's House: Janice is pleased to find Leanne talking to Toyah. Leanne says she is going to a casino with Vik, and Janice warns her not to lose too much money. Leanne says that Toyah's new romance, Owen, sounds a big improvement on Dobber. Janice warns that there was nothing much in it, so Toyah accuses her of being the same as Les. Leanne doesn't want to get drawn into a row, so leaves. Janice sadly tells Toyah that there will be plenty of time for lads after her exams.
Mike's Flat: Mike concedes that he handled the divorce threat badly, but admits he has been thinking about it for a while. Alma cannot believe that he would opt fot something so drastic without looking at alternatives first. Mike sees it in black and white - either she wants to be with him, or not. Alma is amazed at his insensitivity to her hurt. Mike says that by her staying away, he feels that he is being punished. Alma says she might decide to come back and Mike immediately brightens up and suggests getting her stuff from Audrey's now.
Casino: Leanne in a slinky evening dress and Vik in a white jacket and bow tie make a good looking couple. They head for the roulette wheel and Vik gives her some chips to use.
Mike's Flat: Mike and Alma look very positive and happy as they agree to a fresh start. Alma's face soon clouds over when Mike says he doesn't want her dragging all this up every time they argue. Alma questions his laying down conditions, saying his attitude now is that he is graciously forgiving her and allowing her back. Mike protests he did everything he could to get her back. Alma realises that it isn't what happened with Julia Stone that has upset her, it is the way Mike has behaved ever since! Alma says she can't take any more of who he is. They agree that there is nothing more to say and nowhere else to go. Both become bitter in attitude. Alma leaves.
Battersby's House: Toyah is alone, revising. Her pen won't work, so she hunts for another one, first in the sideboard, then in Janice's handbag. On finding the letter she takes it out and her face is a picture as she reads it.
Casino: Leanne admits she knows nothing about gambling, but Vikram guides her. Her first bet wins and she giggles in delight as she gets about UKP80. Flushed with success, she puts a big pile of chips on the next number, and is crestfallen when it doesn't come up.
Battersby's House: Janice comes downstairs to be confronted by a furious Toyah and the letter. Toyah accuses Janice of being a stupid fat old slag, so Janice slaps her face. Toyah cries as Janice protests that nothing happened, and it was Owen who made a pass at her and she never encouraged him. Toyah cannot believe Janice went after Owen, knowing how much Toyah liked him. Janice again pleads with her to believe her that nothing happened. Toyah feels humiliated when she finds out that Owen was on the rebound from Janice when he took her out. Les arrives home and Janice whispers not to say anything to him. Toyah angrily says that Owen must be a total weirdo, and Les overhears, laughingly saying ' I told you she'd soon get over him', to Janice, who can only look sadly at Toyah.
Written by Mark Wadlow.
Awards: Glamour Tiara goes to Vikram, who looked good dressed for the casino - even if he is a slimeball. Special award goes to Amanda Barrie (Alma) who captured the despairing look of someone who is watching a relationship disintegrate before her eyes. Other highlights of tonight were Janice, trying to spare Toyah the hurt feelings of teenage heartbreak, and any scenes involving Ravi, which he overcooks to the point of embarrassed amusement.
That's all, folks - Helen Johns
Hiya :)
Sorry I'm a couple of days late with this Update but I've had a few technical probs with the PC and haven't really been feeling up to the task. Serves me right I suppose for trying to upgrade the darn thing, but despite the hassles, it now seems to be back to normal (although, I'm sad to report, UNupgraded), so here we are, better slightly late than never, it's this week's Corrie which, aside from the odd few scenes here and there, is keeping up with the quality of the last week or so, I'm pleased to say.
Tonight's show opens dubiously with a surprisingly cheery Leanne bouncing down the stairs and bidding Ashley a good morning. He comments that he didn't hear her come in last night, adding that it must have been quite late, to which she responds that she didn't want to wake him but had a *great* time at the casino... Then suddenly, without warning (honestly, they should put a notice up on the screen before they do this), Vile Vapid Void Vacant Vacuous Vikram (or Vombag for short) descends the stairs to Ashley's surprise! Yep, Vombag has stayed the night and, to cap it off, sneers "Oi, can I borrow your toothbrush?"... Leanne tells him her's is the blue one and, as he returns upstairs to scrape his enamel, Ashley quips "It'd be nice to be informed when we're having guests" only to be told bluntly "**WE** weren't"... Charming!
The Mighty Fred Elliot, meanwhile, is buying a copy of the Financial Times over at the Kabin... When Rita asks him how he is, the Butcher gasps "I'm amazed, I'm amazed!" and it soon transpires that what has gotten him so shocked is the fact that Big Red has officially handed over the Kabin to Sharon now... Fred, it seems, didn't think she would go through with it and is sorely disappointed (from a business perspective) that she has. "I am, Rita, I'm *AMAZED*!" he reiterates and exits the store, shaking his head in utter dismay as Sally Webster (who I'm afraid I can no longer justifiably refer to as Brother Cadfael since she has indeed grown her hair out) enters with the gurrrrls in tow. Rursie, it seems, has become a teenager before her time and as she murmurs "I don't want to go to school" and mopes around, Sharon (emerging from the backroom) tries to cheer her up. "I thought you liked school" she chirps only to be told *VERY* bluntly indeed "It's RUBBISH! It is!" from the Demon Webster Gurrrl as her eyes glow red. Sally looks deeply ashamed of her daughter's behaviour and shuffles her brood out of the store as the sky turns upside down, cold winds blow across the Street and the number "6 6 6" mysteriously emblazons itself on the front door of the Kabin.
Across the Street, Toyah grumpily stuffs papers into her schoolbag ready for an impending English Exam whilst Janice attempts to get her daughter to eat some breakfast. "We might get a comprehension", murmurs Toyah, uninterested in food, "You know... Read this and try to figure out what's going on" - Sounds like she's talking about one of my Updates, I know, but it's actually far more obvious that she's referring to the discovery of her mother's quasi-fling with Owen the Campsite Boy.
Toyah: "Les were right, he said Owen were a nutcase..."
Janice: (Snapping, genuinely upset) "OH yeah! Cos after all,
who'd fancy me, eh?? Well, it's a good job somebody did once,
or you wouldn't be here would you?"
The Heroic and Valiant SPIDER knocks on the door at this point and interrupts the increasingly emotional exchange. He has come round to deliver a Celtic good luck charm to Toyah for her exams, which she seems to appreciate... "Err, it's supposed to bring peace and harmony to whoever owns it" he says uneasily, noticing the edgy atmosphere in the room... "I hope it works", comments Janice...
Some boring gubbins at the marketplace occurs now with the token bitter and twisted little market man complaining to Sally that she's "out of order" etc etc... It seems that the reason he's complaining is because Denimboy Danny (remember him? The boring chap who helped Sally buy her new van in case you've eradicated his precense from your memory banks already) laid out some of her stock on her stall and sold it for her during her absence, something that is apparently "against the rules"... Anyway, Danny appears and tells Sally not to worry since Nastybloke is all mouth and no trousers (so to speak). She coos predictably and offers to buy him a drink later. Needless to say, he accepts and then goes on to try and sell her some knocked-off designer childrenswear that Del Boy Trotter sold him. Well, ok, he says it's actually legitimate stock and there's nary a mention of Peckham's Finest, but when the scene is as uninteresting as this, please give me a little artistic license here and there. ;)
Over at Freshco, Alma asks Curly for some time off that afternoon so she can head across to the flat whilst Mike is at work and pick up the remainder of her stuff... Curly tells her this is no problem before telling her how sorry he was to hear about the whole saga and offering his help, should she need it. Just then, Nita (who of course is now working at Frescho) shows up in a flutter and asks for assistance: "Either I'm doing something wrong or that computer REALLY has it in for me!!" (Ooooh, boy do I know *THAT* feeling!) she winces and, always happy to help, Alma says she'll lend a hand, remarking "It shouldn't take long, but if it's still not behaving we'll just kick it!" :) I like Alma, I do! :)
In The Rovers, Vombag enters, wearing a hideous dark red silk shirt, and tells Leanne that their date that night (yep, two nights in a row) will have to be cancelled since Ravi has demanded his precense at dinner. Lee tells him teasingly that this is a shame since she'd "made some nice plans for him" so Vombag, of course, says he'll find a way out of staying too long at his Dad's. Urgh, sorry to harp on but I *REALLY* don't like his character at all. He is *shamelessly* selfish in every sense, woefully arrogant, lazy, irresponsible, grating and to cap it all off, played by a *really dreadful* (and irritating) actor. Yes folks, Vikram is the NEW RICKETT! Just when you thought there was no one left on the Street who could ruin almost any scene they're in and make you wretch at the drop of a hat, here comes Vik (who I bet couldn't even make a hit single as catchy as Rickett's "I Breathe Again" either! Yes I admit it, his record's not nearly as bad as it coulda been...)... But I'm digressing terribly, back to the show... Linda, Alison and Janice are sitting in a booth across the room watching Mike Baldwin drown in his whiskey, at the bar. "He looks knackered", remarks Linda with almost a hint of sympathy in her voice, "He's not usually as bad as that is he?". Alison notes sadly that it's a pity Mike and Alma have split up after so long as we cut across to a table nearby where Leanne sits down to ask Ashley a favour. It seems she wants him out of the house tonight so she and Vombag can have it all to themselves, a deal that Ash reluctantly agrees to after a bit of gentle persuasion.
Back at Frescho, Curly is concerned as to the whereabouts of Alma. Nita tells him that she was apparently going to go to the flat as soon as they finished sorting the computer out but, bizarrely, her car is still here... It doesn't take long for Curly to find her sitting in the back room by the delivery entrance sobbing (aww), so he sits down and checks that everything's alright... "I want it done but I can't bear doing it" she weeps... He says he'll go along with her and help with her suitcases. As he puts his arm round her, she snivvles and agrees to get going. Cue commercial break.
There are actually some very witty adverts doing the rounds at the moment (I really like the NTL "Reservoir Dogs" parody, shameful as it is to admit) but sadly none of them surface during this particular break. Instead we're 'treated' to the lowest of the low... Moisturising cream ads (yawn), insurance companies (yawn) and worst of all, A CAR ADVERT! Arrgh... I'm *deeply* disappointed to see Placebo's "Pure Morning" appearing in a car advert too (those of you who know who Placebo are will know what I mean and those who don't shouldn't worry about concerning themselves! :))... Enough!
We resume things over at the Baldwin Flat, where Curly sits waiting for Alma to finish packing... In an act of typical Soap Opera Timing, just as she's got the last suitcase wheeled out into the hallway, who should appear, waltzing through the front door, but Mike? They yell, I yawn. Perhaps it's just a personal quip but I find few things as unenjoyable and tedious to watch in a soap as a relationship breakdown, especially when they drag it out. The same thing happened with Kevin and Sally (ie: Every time they see each other, they yell and fight) and now it's happening with The Baldwins. It bores me rigid!!! Anyway, to sum it up briefly, Alma throws her wedding ring at him in disgust and tells him that she's finally "seen sense", before storming out with her bags... I'd like to say "THE END!" at this point, but no doubt we'll be suffering several more months of conflict and divorce proceedings.
The Desais are enjoying a nice-looking Indian feast in a surprisingly sparse and echoey white room. It seems Nita didn't inherit her eye for decor from Ravi whose flat is remarkably bleak and cold, not to mention somewhat out of sync with his personality! Anyway, griping aside, a nice little exchange follows in which Ravi (who is ALWAYS a joy to behold) tells a little story about coming to England. "India got The Beatles, Weatherfield got The Desais!" he proclaims, before moving along to asking Nita how Freshco is treating her. She explains about her battles with the computer and Vombag tells her mockingly that she should've stayed in the Cornershop... "Ah, you would choose the soft option, Vikram" intones Ravi, "But mark my words, this time next year your sister will be running her own store!"... They drink a toast to success. :)
In Roy's Rolls, Sally pleads with Gail to come along to the Rovers tonight (just what time is it or, more to the point, what time did the Desais have dinner? And, what time does Roy's Rolls close?) with Martin so they can join her and Danny, thus making sure Denimboy "doesn't get the wrong idea" about he and Sally's drink... Gail agrees, rolling her eyes, as the camera flies to Alma and Curly sitting at a table. It seems he has bought her a meal to cheer her up and, as she apologises for "taking up his whole day", he offers words of comfort and encouragement... At another table, Spider and Toyah are sitting discussing her English Exam when (the sorely missed) Sir Royston Of Cropper wanders over and remarks that he wished he could've done a little better in his exams... Toyah smiles, flashes her new good luck charm and says "I did alright, Spider gave me this for good luck". "You work hard Toyah", says Roy, sagely, "You owe it to yourself... There's something about certificates, you can't argue with them" (sadly the truth). As he hovers off to stack some dishes, Toyah mopes "Why do we have to do exams?" which prompts a typically right-on little speech from Spider: "They like to get us measured up. Sectioned off. Always have done, so we know our place." - A strange urge to blast "The Ungovernable Force" by CONFLICT on the stereo washes over me...
Back at the Desai Towers, the meal is over and it's time for desert. Ravi suggests that they should do this more often since it's their first dinner together as a family since they moved to Weatherfield. As Nita heads to the kitchen to fetch the desert, Vombag's mobile 'phone (trust *him* to have one of those ghoulish devices!) goes off (as planned, no doubt) and it's Leanne... "Is your precense required elsewhere?" asks Ravi, knowing the answer already, "Does it ever occur to you that a night with the family is something you can actually *ENJOY*?"... Vombag makes a feeble excuse and Ravi comments "It's probably some girl who will leave as quickly as she arrived... But we will never leave..."
Meanwhile, in the Rovers, Linda, Janice and Alison arrive with long faces, prop themselves up at the bar in order of ascending height (a GREAT bit of choreography!) and start musing on why Baldwin went home early today... "He's probably got some woman", suggests Linda, "That's why he's so burnt out all the time"... "Well, it's not Alma", adds Alison which prompts Linda to add "Yeah, and she's not gonna be so happy, once she's only got Freshco's wages to keep her going!" - Janice, meanwhile, has other thoughts on her mind and murmurs "It takes some doing that, walking out. I'm not sure it's something I could ever manage", a comment that goes unnoticed as the other two continue gossipping at hyperspeed... In a nearby booth, Sally and Danny are gazing into each other's eyes but pretending they're not. Just then, Martin and Gail make an inconspicuous and thoroughly unconvincing entrance ("We're not interrupting you are we?") which prompts Sally to introduce everybody as they all sit down and have a good ol' natter. This wouldn't be so bad but Danny is sooo, well, sooo... I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe it's just it's a bit "blokey" or a bit "laddish", I dunno, he seems nice enough but something's just not interesting at all about him... oh, and his line in jokes is painful! As Denimboy and Martin head up to the bar for some more drinks, Gail nods in emphatic approval to Sally on her 'choice'...
...And then there were two, back at Desai Towers. Ravi pours a cup of tea out for Nita and the two of them have a little heart-to-heart about her new job. He apologises for being so harsh about it, saying that he only wants what's best for her. She tells him that she's enjoying it so far and that he shouldn't worry so much, to which Ravi responds lovingly "If I didn't worry so much, I wouldn't be your Dad would I?" before launching into a disheartened speech about how he dislikes Supermarket Culture, how it's too cold and impersonal (Preach on, Brother Ravi!!! AMEN TO THAT!) compared to the Traditional Cornershop. She explains that this is just the way things are at the moment, right or wrong as Ravi wraps up the conversation by telling her: "Now Nita, remember... Your family is always behind you. When I was leaving for England, my Father said to me... You can ALWAYS come home." - I could watch Saeed Jaffrey all day! Ravi is a Godlike character, so sagelike, warm and wise. :)
Ashley is drowning his sorrows in The Rovers, telling Maxine (who seems ever so slightly jealous) about Leanne and Vombag's cavorting and how he feels that he's intruding in his own house. Max reckons that Lee is taking advantage of The Prince Of Peacock by shifting him out of his own house for such illicit purposes, etc and tells the young Butcher to watch out that he doesn't get trampled on by being so generous. It transpires that, on top of all this, Leanne hasn't paid her rent for a month or so... Maxine frowns and says "You've got to get a grip, you're too soft for your own good, you are" as we flick across to the booth where Danny, Sally, Martin and Gail are sitting. The only fact that is revealed amongst the tedious chatter (Martin and Gail are GREAT but sadly they barely get a word in) is that Danny has worked the markets for 20 years, ever since he was a little kid. I thought I'd mention this in case it crops up later! :)
Over at Audrey's, meanwhile, Alma is sorting out her clothes, whilst the Councillor pours out some glasses of (what looks like) whiskey... She proposes a warm toast to "whatever lies ahead" and, as they down the drink and make the appropriate grimaces, Alma states "I'm certainly not drinking to the past, I've had enough of that" before handing her housemate a cheque for a month's rent. "If I'm stopping here, we've got to do it right" she insists and, after a bit of implicit protestation, Audreh accepts. :)
Again, at this point, a warning should flash up on the screen that we are entering a danger zone! Vombag and Leanne are cavorting on the couch in The House Of Elliot and I conclude that Jane Danson is possibly the most unfortunate actress to work on Corrie. Only weeks after she is rid of the Rickett Monster for an onscreen husband, she starts dating his annoying successor and engaging in predictably smoochy sequences with him, poor lass. Anyway, I'll spare you their dialogue, but whilst romping on the sofa, a bottle of wine is spilt all over the carpet. Needless to say, they ignore it and continue necking when, at this very moment, Ashley returns and is horrified to see the mess (the wine that is, not Vikram)... He takes Maxine's advice and makes a stand against Leanne, telling Vombag to exit and reminding Lee that she hasn't paid her rent for awhile... She doesn't like this at all and gets snotty with him, telling him that if he's not happy about Vombag staying the night, "Tough" before heading up to her room, 5V-Vik in tow... Cue credits!
Well, as I said earlier, solid stuff. No stand-out scenes in particular but a fairly consistent level of quality dialogue, good acting and interesting storylines (with the aforementioned exceptions). Great to see Toyah and Spider being nice and friendly to each other again since I've always loved their little exchanges. :) As ever, I've said everything else I want to say already throughout the update. :)
Anyway, best rush now, since I have a stack of things to do and *still* haven't found the magic formula to insert another hour or two into the meagre 24 that we already have, sooo that's me lot for this week. 'Til next time! :)
The Rattler
HM Queen of Siam has something better to do with her time this week and has commanded a serf to do the work for her! Not being as elevated as she is this yokel will have to do his best but don't expect any clever nicknames!
Having had a late night birthday dinner party last night the brain may not even be in the low gear that it usually engages.
Nevertheless - here goes.
ACT 1:
In the back alley, Gary is off on his window cleaning round, Judy
tells him she loves him, despite the fact that he is not a top
executive, and hands him his lunch (what a dutiful wife she is).
Gary promises that he will reach the top of the ladder, in fact
at least 20 times, and goes off with a skip and a jump.
At the Battersbys, Janice is off to work, Toyah is doing last minute revision for her GCSE maths in the afternoon and Les is lazing around drinking tea (and I bet he didn't even make that himself). A brief gloat over Alma leaving Mike and a hope that he gets as much talk as Leanne after Plank (oops a nickname) left her. Btw The Rickitt is now writing a column in the teen section of the DT on Saturdays (not that I normally read teen comics). Last week, in his first article, he writes about how he got into the show and states "I totally focused on the show and loved acting. My mum says I'm like a dog with a bone once I get an idea - I just completely go for it" You could have fooled me, but I digress. As I said, Toyah is revising for her maths GCSE.
Les: What's 9 times 7.
Toyah: Why?
Les: I'm testing you, I'm giving you some practice.
Toyah: It's not that kind of maths
Les: (To Janice) What kind is there?.. (To Toyah, looking mystified) Right, you put a fiver each way on a horse at 20 to 1. It comes in third and there's 9% tax to come off. How much is your winnings?
Toyah: Shut up Les!
Across the road, Ashley picks up the post, including the 'phone bill. Leanne and Vikram are having breakfast (he's presumably stayed the night again). Brief discussion on opening times for the corner shop and whether Vikram can really open up whenever he likes or when his father tells him to. Ashley is dismayed at the size of the telephone bill (join the club) and complains about the number of expensive calls to Canada, wanting to know who is going to pay. Leanne blames Nick and suggests his mum may pay, and by the way she can't pay her rent either as she hasn't been paid yet. She seems to be impinging on Ashley's good nature a little too much I think. You can only take people for granted for a certain amount of time.
Scene switch to the cafe and Gail sitting chatting with Alma. Now Alma's single she feels that she can start doing whatever single people do - if only she could remember what that is. Gail presses her as to whether that is what she really wants. Life is full of compromises, says Alma, and we seldom get all that we really want. Roy interrupts with a couple of mugs of beverage, and expresses his condolences to Alma in such a way as to imply that she has been left a widow, to which she responds that Mike is still very healthy "despite all the pins I've been sticking in this little doll I've made". Gail continues to push as to whether Alma wants a divorce and she finally admits that yes, she does.
The object of her past affection is doing his own shopping in the corner shop, which Vikram has deigned to open, and is concerned at the way prices have increased in the long time since he last did his own shopping. Linda arrives at his elbow having come in during her break to buy the materials for her roll-ups. Mike in his normal staff-friendly manner questions why she is here as her break is to have a cup of coffee, not do her shopping. She pushes her luck by pointing out that he is doing his and receives the predictable threat of joining ranks of the unemployed if she isn't back quickly.
Ravi enters and tells Vikram that he has made a list for the wholesalers and will go there in the afternoon since he presumes that he can't rely on Vikram doing it, which Vik at first confirms but then has second thoughts.
Gary meanwhile has reached the top of one of his ladders and is starting to clean an upstairs window when he views a burglar within the room. Calling out, he climbs though the window while the burglar makes off downstairs and out through the front door. Whilst Gary is not the brightest of individuals, it would surely have been wiser to climb down his ladder and cut off this escape, rather than go into the house. After a reconnaissance of the house and finding that the burglar is no longer inside, he makes towards the open front door to be confronted by the returning owner, who seeing Gary screams and runs off to get the police, leaving Gary somewhat with that *oh no, what have I done feeling*.
Switch to the Rovers and Janice is extolling to Hayley the virtues of the mathematical geniuses in her family. Leanne is dismissing Toyah's chances of passing when Vikram barges in and invites her to the casino in the afternoon as he has been able to get away from the shop. Leanne has no money, but Vikram has.
Across the bar, Audrey is with Fred, obviously having totally made up after the gastronomic feast. Observing Leanne, Audrey comments whatever Nick may have done, Leanne is obviously not exactly broken-hearted. Fred: "They don't have any hearts at her age, just animal passion." LOL. Which reminds him, for some reason of Alma and he praises Audrey for taking care of Alma. She responds by indicating that Alma is reluctant to come into the Rovers in case she bumps into Mike. Fred insists that Audrey brings her in where she will be among friends and he will be there.
The girls from the factory are discussing the breakdown of the Baldwin marriage with Linda looking very pensive. Hayley lets out that she has been to the Baldwin flat.
Leanne is tapping up Natalie for a sub on her wages - £50 will do to tide her over.
Judy is at home and receives a phone call from Gary who explains his predicament and asks Judy's advice as to what he should do. They agree that he should stay where he is and explain what has happened. Judy tells him again that she loves him (getting suspicious this) and Gary sits down and eats his lunch while he is waiting.
END OF ACT 1
INTERMISSION
Time for a Cadbury's flake while taking a run in a new car to deliver some mail advising of £2 off lipstick (never use the stuff myself), giving up smoking by spraying yourself with Vaseline (or have I got that confused) with a Neil Sedaka tape playing in the stereo. We stop off for a snack and some tuna fish with other special offers at the local supermarket before re-joining a chocolate Leanne for
ACT 2:
Where Gary is still having his lunch when the house owner returns
with two policemen in tow. Gary explains himself as the new window
cleaner and tries to extricate himself.
At the casino, Vikram is just losing the last of his cash, having not taken Leanne's advice as to where to place his bets, but is then surprised to find that Leanne has found some cash after all and is about to show him how to win - she hopes.
Gary has taken the police home with him to search the house, much to Judy's concern.
The girls are leaving the factory, Roy having arrived to walk Hayley home. Linda however has other ideas and pumps Hayley for the whereabouts of Mike's flat.
Leanne and Vikram arrive back in the street with Leanne in a mood, having lost all her cash, surprise, surprise, and blaming Vikram for having taken her to the casino in the first place. In the shop, Ravi is waiting for Vikram to explain himself. Did he go via Birmingham or the park maybe. Vikram makes an excuse that he "got delayed...... met an old friend, got talking - you know how it is" Ravi: "I know how it is that young men can drift through life without achieving anything because they get delayed and stay talking while others are making the most of their opportunities".
Spider has a satisfied grin on his face as he comes to the counter to pay, having overheard the conversation. Toyah enters having finished her exam and confiding that being annoyed with her mum helped.
Gary and Judy are discussing the police search following the incident. Judy is concerned that the burglar could have pushed Gary off the top of his ladder but admits that she is proud of him really and that, having told the children, they are proud of him too. Aaah.
At the Baldwin apartment Mike is sat watching TV with his mug of ?cocoa when there is a knock at the door. Opening it he is surprised to find Linda standing there in a very short skirt and bearing a present from the girls who had got together to provide it in the hope of cheering him up. He invites her in <just for a minute>. Turns out the gift is a bottle of whisky which he is encouraged to try and she agrees to share it with him. Mike thinks she has come on behalf of the girls to pump him for gossip. She denies it and claims that she doesn't join in with their talk and keeps anything she knows to herself (she must be joking!). Mike is surprised to think that of all people, he is sat there sharing a drink with Linda (aren't we all?).
At the Rovers, Fred is buying a drink for Ashley, who slips off to tell Leanne that he will pay the telephone bill (soft lad!). As promised, Audrey arrives with Alma, who is worried about meeting up with Mike. Les meanwhile is spouting to Janice that Alma won't find another bloke to take her on- not at her time of life." "Who says she wants one", says Janice. "Give over", says Les, "all women do". Fred is reminiscing that he couldn't face the world for a time after Maureen left and Audrey reinforces it by doubting whether Mike will be staying at home. Mike is in fact still at home with Linda, explaining his business economics that if he was to pay the girls more money, he would have to put his prices up, no-one would buy his goods and the girls would all be out of a job! He tells her that the time they have spent together would not change the fact that he would still sack her if he found her shopping in the morning during her break. She responds by saying that she hadn't better let him catch her then. And by the way, it was not the girls who had bought the whisky, but Linda herself, leaving Mike with a very thoughtful expression on his face. Surely he learnt his lesson after Julia Stone!!!
Curtains!!
Episode written by Peter Whalley
Directed by Tim Dowd.
Brief comments:
Judy's continuous reassurance of how she loves Gary sounds to me to be the beginning of the build up to the big departure.
Leanne is living on borrowed time with Ashley if she doesn't pull herself together. Just why is she struggling financially when she is in continuous employment and not paying her rent?
Mike and Linda seem a very unlikely combination to me, especially so soon after being conned by Julie Stone. He would surely not be so flattered about another young woman fancying him - or will he never learn?
Well, her highness should be back next week,so you had better swat up on ronniecat's nickname page.
borrow dat or whatever it is! Ivor
Hiya folks!!!! ... Time again for another update.... One with a difference... I normally write up the episode first and do the prologue at the end, but this time, I'm doing the prologue first. I know!! I know!! It's some wild life I lead :-)
It's been a good week, albeit one with some mixed emotions along the way. We had a few days away, walking in North Yorkshire, which was very pleasant indeed. We stayed at a pub listed in the Good Beer Guide, in Danby, a village on the edge of the North Yorkshire Moors National Park, about 15 miles inland from Whitby. The pub, The Duke of Wellington, which had had a change of ownership just a few days earlier, served the most superb food and drink. Next to the pub was the most fabulous small bakery I have come across in years with an amazing selection of breads and cakes - the place does a roaring trade with pubs and restaurants for miles around, and having sampled their wares, I am in no doubt why. A couple of walks along the Cleveland Way Coastal path, one from Staithes and the other from Robin Hoods Bay rounded off the experience. All in all, a superb location and one which can be recommended without hesitation - once the photos come back, I'll get some of them up on the website with contact details, together with some piccies from some recent micro-pings.
It's always nice to go away and equally lovely to come back, especially back to the IRC channel and to Annie's Guestbook. It's been a hilarious week on #coro_street and I've spent much of it since my return with tears of joy running down my face. You really are a grand bunch on that channel, it's like a non-stop party!
I must mention a lady who has become a good friend in the last few months, both on the channel and on the Guestbook, Carol Renaud. I hope she won't mind me mentioning it, but she has very poor vision and pretty clearly the net has been her "window to the world" and a real Godsend. Well, this week, she received some fabulous news from her hospital consultant - she is due to have an operation in September and it is hoped that she will regain her sight. For those of you who don't know her, she has a hilarious website, run by her alter ego "Clora Crank, char exsrodinair" (sic), on Annie's Guest Book - please do have a look at http://www.attcanada.net/~drenaud/ - I guarantee you will have a happy half hour, at least, with many chuckles along the way!!!!! We share your joy, Carol/Clora - it really couldn't happen to a nicer person - hope all goes well for you in a few months' time.
Talking of joy, on a political and personal level, it was heartening seeing a cessation of the main hostilities in Kosovo. The atrocities committed there over the last few months have been spine chilling in their horror, as evidence of man's amazing inhumanity to fellow man. This conflict, more than any other during my lifetime, has made me realise the horrors of what my parents went through, losing their "old lives" in Poland during the war and the lasting damage caused when you become a refugee and a displaced person. War is never an easy option, but just as the protection of Poland's sovereignty was the start of World War II (even though that was subsequently reneged at Yalta and it took a further 50 years to get back to a sense of normality), so I am convinced this was a "just war", if such a thing can exist. Kosovo certainly struck a chord and ignited an anger in me, having seen the impact of war on my parents.
I had a similar feeling on Saturday afternoon, when I went into Manchester city centre - reconstruction work is progressing well after the IRA bomb of three years ago and I couldn't help but feel a mix of anger and pride seeing the developments - anger at the IRA b*st*rds who sought to kill and maim, pride at the unbroken Mancunian spirit that stuck two fingers in the air at the cowardly terrorists and vowed not to be beaten. That Northern stubbornness is also a Polish trait, so maybe with the combination of "nature and nurture" I never stood a chance, which is why, I guess, I can relate to the various survival emotions!!!
Still, Manchester's spirit carries on and it's very much a vibrant place. I always enjoy outdoor music and the jazz band playing in St Ann's Square (as part of the Jazz Festival) were good fun as was the drum band busking on Market Street, playing the most amazing Latin American rhythms.
Manchester city centre is well on the way to being rebuilt, but a long way to go, I fear, for the Kosovars - for them, life will never be the same again, nor for the Serbs now fleeing the region.
But even though it is very close to home emotionally for me, this is all a bit heavy and a long way from Corrie..
So .... without further ado, it's time for the update...
Episode sponsored by Cadbury's Flake
The programme starts at Audrey's - she and Alma stayed up late the previous night. Alma is apologetic but Audrey doesn't mind, she enjoyed Alma's company, especially as Alf never liked to stay up late. She wonders whether Alma has heard from Mike's solicitors, but Alma replies that these things take time. Anyway, Audrey believes that something could be salvaged and that Mike will come crawling back. Alma, however, says she doesn't want him under any circumstances.
The atmosphere is still strained at Ashley's between him and Leanne. She tells him he will get his rent money when she gets paid. He thought she was getting an advance from Natalie but she tells that Natalie turned her down. Unaware he is being lied to, Ashley feels she ought to take advice. Leanne tells him that most people have to work a week in hand before they get paid. She gets exasperated and tells him she doesn't want him fussing like an old woman.
Toyah is in the middle of her exams and trying to revise. Janice tries to mend fences and asks when her next exam is due. "Monday afternoon" comes back the subdued reply. Les thinks she is pining after Owen and feels she should forget about him, he will have forgotten about her already. Janice is irritated by the conversation and tells Les to leave her alone. Les seems to think this is all part of Toyah's education, she needs to understand that men are only interested in one thing. Janice tells him not to judge others by his own standards, but Les insists he is just trying to make her understand what sort of person Owen is and to let her down gently. Toyah replies, pointedly, that she already knows what sort of person he is.
Gary is on his way out to work. Judy is concerned whether the police will come round again to search the house but he reassures her that this will not happen. Suddenly, it occurs to him that he did not finish cleaning Mrs Grant's windows - he wonders whether he should do so, but Judy doesn't think this is a good idea.
At the factory, the girls are busy at their machines. Alison asks where Linda got to last night - Linda makes the excuse that she was out at the supermarket.
Hayley is telling Janice that she loves Wales and that there is something so intoxicating about the air in a tent (depends whether or not, baked beans were on last night's menu). She wonders whether Janice has a brochure for the site, Janice tells her that she doesn't, but that Gail might have. "Of course, it must have been fun" chunters on Hayley, "Platts being on the same site." "Yeah, a right laugh" replies Janice, unenthusiastically. Hayley tells her she heard all about it from Gail and what a good job Martin was around. "About Les? Yeah, terrible" mumbles Janice. "Shocking more like" is Linda's sharp witted response, which is greeted by guffaws from the other girls.
Mike comes into the factory and hearing the girls laughing, he tells them to get on with their work.
Ashley looks fed up when Maxine sees him - he tells her that Natalie is not playing fair with Leanne, something isn't right. Maxine tells him that it is not his concern but Ashley points out that Leanne is behind with her rent and they have just had a big row about it. He is very hurt, he was only trying to help. Maxine's answer is that he shouldn't take any notice. Ashley recalls that Zoë used to say the same, that he clucked like a mother hen. "Do you think I cluck? Don't answer that..." is his earnest question. Maxine is bewildered for a second or two but tells him, no, she doesn't. Poor Ashley's lack of self esteem comes to the fore as he confesses that most girls think he does, that he is some kind of boring joke. Maxine tells him that anyone who does think that isn't worth bothering about. He misinterprets her statements as if she was just trying to say the kind thing "thanks Maxine, I know you mean well." As he walks away, we see Maxine looking at him fondly, obviously touched by his kind nature.
Sally has come round to the café with some clothes for Gail - if they don't fit or if the colour doesn't please, Danny has said he will take them back, no problems. Gail tells Sally that they liked Danny and thought he was a nice bloke, "he fancies you". Sally replies that she is not interested, "we're friends and that's how it's stopping" she insists. "What does he have to say about it?" asks Gail.
Spider is helping Toyah revise for one of her exams. It isn't going too well and Toyah says she just feels like going out and getting drunk. Spider perceptively realises that it isn't just examination stress which is getting Toyah down. Toyah confides in him about Owen and how she fancied him but he had someone else in mind. Spider tells her to forget him because he is obviously not good enough for her.
Mrs Grant comes round to Judy's to apologise, bearing peace offerings, some wine and some flowers. Apparently, a neighbour had seen the whole episode and has given a full description to the police. At least Gary is in the clear, comments Judy. Once again, Mrs Grant asks Judy to thank Gary for doing what he did, who knows what else she might have had stolen had Gary not appeared - she adds that Judy is a very lucky woman.
Mike calls Linda into his office - he asks why she called round last night. She tells him there was nothing more to it than her wanting to cheer him up. He tells her he appreciates her thoughtfulness but doesn't want any complications with his imminent divorce, although she is welcome to come in for a drink, if she wishes....
... and the theme tune comes in, on cue for the end of part 1
After the ads, it's part 2
The second part of the programme commences at the Rovers. Janice
asks Linda what Mike wanted with her, but Linda fobs her off with
an excuse, nothing important.
Ashley is still upset about Leanne. He tells Maxine that he had to live with Leanne and he doesn't like the atmosphere in the house. Now that Nick has gone, Leanne is treating him like a doormat. "That's not fair, especially if she's not paying the rent" comments Maxine, but Ashley puts that down to Natalie. However, he doesn't like Leanne's attitude, the way she talks him, as if he were some kind of freak. Maxine tells him he isn't, he should know. Taking pity on him, she invites him to join Tom and her at the pictures - he tells her that he cannot, as he has some cleaning to do, his bedroom is in a right state. Maxine is bemused, full of disbelief, she wants him to come - he is pleased at her insistence and we see a lovely smile, the mark of someone who is wanted, appearing on his face.
Janice tries to tap Linda for more information and Linda tells her that it was to do with this new order they have, Mike doesn't think they are working hard enough, she lies -she lays it on thick, "he says I'm a bad influence". "I'll tell you what his trouble is" opines Janice, "he's missing it." Linda doesn't say anything but smiles to herself.
Over dinner, Judy is telling Gary about Mrs Grant's visit. They are relieved it is all sorted.
Danny calls round to Sally's under the pretext of asking whether the clothes for Gail's children were fine. While he is there, he just so happens to take the opportunity to ask her out for a drink - she turns him down politely, she has to put the kids to bed.
At the Corner Shop, Les is doing some unsubtle probing about why the Police called at Gary's place yesterday. Gary initially leads him on with a gentle leg-pull that the police are doing a survey on nosey neighbours. He starts to tell Les about what actually did happen but Les' mind cannot go further than the thought of what can be seem from the top of a ladder - he tells Gary that his uncle George used to reckon the money was a bonus, "he'd have done it for nowt!!!" Totty, he explains. Gary says his round is not like that, but Les offers to stand in, if he ever fancies a day off!! "I can tell 'em a mile off, them as does and them as don't!! My uncle George had a twinkle in his eye until the very very end." Gary says he isn't interested, to tell the truth he is that tired at the end of the day to do anything else.
Ashley orders a drink at the bar. While he is waiting to be served, Audrey and Alma are pulling Leanne's leg about the number of fellas she has in tow - they include Ashley in the list, which provokes an embarrassed and embarrassing put down by Leanne when she says "do us a favour, aunty Ashley?"
Ashley tries to provoke the jealousy stakes and shouts across the bar to Leanne that he is off on a night out on the town with Maxine. That results in a disbelieving "right" response from Leanne, as she continues the joke at his expense with Vikram and Steve. Vikram asks if they fancy a game of cards later, at Ashley's.
As he picks up the drinks, Ashley probes Judy what it is like working for Natalie. Her response surprises him as she tells him she enjoys working for Natalie - furthermore, Natalie is very fair and reasonable about advances on wages. The penny drops, he is being taken for a mug.
Back at the flat, Mike gets himself in a romantic mood as he prepares himself for an "impromptu" visit from Linda. The lights down low, soft music, the drinks, yep all is ready.
The card game is in full swing at Ashley's as Steve and Vikram really get down to business. A drink is knocked over, but it doesn't matter, is the attitude - Ashley will clean it up.
At the flat, Mike is till waiting for Linda. He is now in his dressing gown, but he looks like a man about to give up hope. There is a knock on the door, maybe his look is in. No way!! It's a pizza delivery and its for the wrong flat. Mike switches off the music and the lights - he goes to bed alone, giving it up as a bad job.
The stakes are growing in the card game. Suddenly, the cosy game is interrupted as Ashley comes home early. He is not amused by what he has found and tells them he is having none of it. Steve and Vikram tells him that they are in the middle of a game, but Ashley is not being placated. It's his house and he will do as he pleases, he tells them. He is sick of people tacking advantage and tells Vikram and Steve to leave. They tells her they were invited by Leanne and have every right to be there as she pays the rent. Ashley tells them this is exactly the issue, as she hasn't paid her rent. He throws them out to jeers and abuse. After they have left, he tells Leanne she can clean up the mess as he has no intention of doing so....
And with that... .... it is the cue for music and credits...
Episode written by Phil Woods.
All material is, and remains, copyright property of Granada Television.
Well, how was it for me?
Not a bad episode, although a bit light on the humour element I enjoy.
Mike being flattered by Linda's attentions is realistically done - sad, sad man waiting for her to turn up!!! Been there, dunnit ;-) The Ashley/Leanne/Maxine storyline is also well done. We are seeing Leanne letting her hair down after the restrictions of marriage, but going over the top in doing so - the take without the give. Interesting seeing the opposite end of the spectrum with Maxine showing consideration - Tracy Shaw has come on in leaps and bounds in the last few months and it's pleasing to see her getting a storyline to which she can do justice. Great to see Ashley making a stand, the guy is a real pussycat but one who has had enough of being a doormat with it - realistically and well written and acted.
A quick summary - nae so bad...
Anyway that's it for now.. well, I can't stand here gabbin', I've got pies to shift. Until the next time, take care...
Tubby greetings and Tinkyluv from the Tinkster in Glorious Glossop....
Regards, Alan
Hiya :)
Well, folks, it's been shaky but it seems we're finally getting some nice sunny weather. I know I keep saying "Woohoo, it's nearly summer!" every week (optimist, me? :)) but finally the sun is acting accordingly to my wishes! Two days of hot sunshine, could it be we're really *finally* here? Well, as I type this at 8pm, it's still damn bright outside, and this can only be a good sign! Unfortunately, Corrie isn't *quite* as glorious as the sky tonight, stuck as it is in a rut of 50/50 good/bad material... which brings us to the task at hand, this week's Update!
The show begins outside The Malletts' Abode, where Gareh (leaving for work) is greeted emphatically by Jim MacDonald, who is waving a newspaper around. It seems Gary's "Heroic" behaviour with the burglar last week has made the Weatherfield Gazette. As a very interested Judy reads aloud from the paper, it becomes clear that the tale has been reported in typically sleazy and misleading way of El Gazette, printing a picture of Mrs Hardy kissing Gary on the cheek alongside a quote from the woman herself which reads "I don't know what I would've done without Gary. He's a real man, I can't wait for him to come round and do my windows again. All my friends want him as well but I've told them he's all mine!"... It also mentions, as ya do, that she was runner-up of a Holiday Camp Beauty Paegent in 1991 (the Gazette's style of reportage obviously models itself on The Daily Star)... Judy laughs this off and teases Gary playfully as Jim offers his usual playful ribbing. All this seems far too happy an ending for a storyline where the Gazette is involved though doesn't it? Hehehehe... Just you wait... ;))
Jim continues walking along the road when he's stopped by Cadaver Boy in his Hearsemobile. An undead groan emerges from the inside of this jet- black wagon of doom and it seems young Steven wants his dad to step inside for a moment. Jim, obviously clued-up to the fact that no-one gets out of the Hearsemobile alive (or without losing a lot of money at least), makes some excuse about having to get to work, but his boy is quite persuasive, so eventually Jim hops in... It seems that Steve has a little scheme up his sleeve involving the duty-free "Tobacco Run" that Spider was telling him about (Hopefully whoever did the Sunday Update (Helen?) this week can explain this concept to you a bit better than I can, cos I wasn't really paying attention - something to do with 'smuggling' tobacco across from Belgium? Sounded like something that Del Boy Trotter would come up with, anyway... :)) but there's a catch. To get himself set up to do this little run overseas, Steve needs to borrow £800 from his dear ol' dad, something which Jim is, of course, unhappy about... He has no desire to see his son back in jail for doing something stupid like a 'baccy run. So they grunt at each other in the patented MacDonald manner, before Jim gets out of the car and Steve drives off, sulking.
(Incidentally, did anyone notice that in this scene it now says "S.Gaskell" over the door of the Kabin rather than "R.Sullivan"? Funny how they changed that mightily quick even tho it still says "Fiona Middleton" in front of the Salon! :))
Queen Toyah of Battersby meanwhile is frantically revising for her forthcoming History Exam only to be interrupted by the increasingly venomous, puerile and unpleasant Leanne (Bring Back Nick, anyone? ;))) JUST KIDDING!), who tries to angrily shift all of RToyota's papers off of the table. As Toyah freaks out frantically (justifiably too!), a Jaded Janice wanders in, morning-coffee in hand and asks what's wrong, getting an earful of near-tearful stresses from her daughter in return, as she's seemingly unable to cope with the pressures of her GCSE Exams. "Well, luv, if you don't know it by now, you never will" mumbles Janice with the best of intentions, although needless to say this does not sit well with Toyah who storms out of the living room to find somewhere quieter to study in. Poor lass.
Over at The House Of Elliot, Ashley is getting ready for work whilst chatting with his Uncle Fred... He mentions that he's had a row with Leanne and admits that she's walked out. The Butcher Of Weatherfield is over the moon at this news and congratulates his son/nephew (what *should* I refer to him as?) on finally putting the boot in. "Now see" bellows the Butcher, "I didn't give you sole tenancy so you could adopt every misfit, waif and stray you happen to encounter! This is a respectful house, not a DSS hostel!"... Ashley nods reluctantly, as ever, but seems saddened that he's lost a friend in Leanne. Fred, meanwhile, is oblivious to this fact altogether!
Over at the Marketplace, Sickly Webster (who is becoming infinitely more Sickly with each episode that passes - where's a handy runaway bus when you need one??) gets a call on her mobile 'phone (AND why is it that only the REALLY repellant characters (ie: Steve, Greg, Sally, Vikram, Mike Baldwin) have mobile 'phones eh? :)) from Rosie's school. It seems that the teacher there wants to have a word with Sally this lunchtime about her daughter's behaviour and perhaps it will finally be revealed that Rosie *IS* the AntiChrist and needs a swift exorcism? Whatever it is, Sally feigns deep concern so Dull-As-Dishwater-Danny walks over and nods like he's interested, as she explains the call and witters in that twisted "I am good parent, really" way of hers', adding "I think she's being bullied - Bullies should be expelled and their parents should be sued for bringing them up badly!" - A nice sentiment, but coming from such an evil being as Sally, it's laughable in it's hypocrisy... (more on this later! *evil grin*)
Meanwhile, in Lucifer Baldwin's Underworld of Delight, Linda enters the office and startles him a little. He's quite happy to see her, but worried that she is visiting him in his office, insisting that she is ultra-secretive about what happened last night. "Wot, that I've slept with t'boss?" asks Linda, telling us what we'd already guessed, before adding that if it makes things difficult she can leave Underworld (!)... Mike laughs and tells her this won't be necessary just so long as they both know the "name of the game" which is "discretion". "It's my middle name" she smiles, as she leaves the office... I have to say, despite the seedy nature of it, I've really enjoyed the past week's scenes between Mike and Linda, it's nice to see the swine being so BLATANTLY manipulated by someone who does it so damn well! Kudos to the excellent Jacqueline Pirie (yes, yes, I know we all wanted her to leave after 2 weeks, but I'm kinda glad she didn't now! :)) and, of course, Johnny Briggs for playing such a good bad guy. :)
A fun scene ensues now between Sickly and one of Rosie's teachers, as the teacher starts to explain something serious-sounding... It seems that the drawing's Rosie has been doing in class have gone from being all bright and colourful to black & white, her handwriting is suffering and the essays she's writing are worrying. All of this, plus her truly demonic physical appearance, adds up to the fact that she is The AntiChrist, as far as I'm concerned, but Sally knows it's actually to do with her daughter's bullying. The teacher seems surprised that Rosie has talked about this to Sally, which prompts an absolutely DISGUSTING, FOUL and JAW-DROPPINGLY SMUG little speech from Sally about what a good parent she is, what an open relationship they have and how Rursie tells her *everything* because they're sooo close. She then goes on to self- righteously and bombastically ask the teacher "What are you going to do about it? It's not my job, I mean if you've got a child who is picking on other children, in particular my daughter, then it's down to you to sort it out" (OOOH you cow!)... At this very moment, Teacher-Woman stops being annoyingly soft on her and says something that made me jump for joy as finally *someone* sticks it to Sally in the way she deserves - "No, Mrs Webster, it seems we're talking at cross-purposes here... You see, Rosie *is* the bully!" - Muhahahaha! What was that you were saying earlier Sally about bullies being expelled and bad parents being sued? Hehe... :) So I evilly laugh my way into the commercial break, as Sickly's face turns a whiter shade of pale. (Sorry, I shouldn't be so cruel, but of all the characters that I really "love to hate" on this show, Sally must come out tops right now!)
END OF PART ONE
Typically poor adverts I'm afraid... "Even better than getting
one up on your brother" is the tag-line for one particular
brand of microwave chipped potatoes (!) which should give you
an idea of how low the marketing departments are prepared to go
these days with the notion that only children will pay attention
to their ads. So back to the fun...
PART TWO
...And fun, fun, fun it is as the Teacher takes Sally's self-
righteousness away. :) Sickly storms angrily out of the room,
taking the news about her daughter rather too personally (methinks
the lady doth protest too much!) but the Teacher tries to be diplomatic
about the whole thing, explaining that she's not trying to pass
judgement on Sally's parenting (I will if you won't! ;)), merely
trying to let her know what's happening and make her understand
*why* Rursie might be acting this way. Apparently, Rosie is "insecure"
and needs "lots of attention", urgently. Sally doesn't
take this friendly (not to mention VALID) advice very well, as
she snaps "leave me to my job and I'll leave you to your's!"
before striding furiously out of the school. Heh heh and indeed
heh. :)
From one horrid character to another two, we now find Leanne and Vombag standing in the pub moping about how they've got no money and nowhere to go tonight, something I find a little rich considering they've been to the casino *twice* in the last week (I've never been to one *ONCE* in my entire life! :)), played an expensive game of cards at home *AND* drank God knows how many bottles of wine! Janice, who is standing at the bar, suggests that the pair of them attend dinner at Le Chateau Batteau. Leanne is dead against it and Vombag is typically indifferent (his skills for acting out different emotions stretch about as far as his predecessor, Rickett's did) but Janice manages to sway them in the end... As we cut to a booth where Alma is sitting on her own. Yet MORE hatefulness (how much can we have per episode??) ensues when Mike walks over and has the AUDACITY to ask his wife, "one last time", if she wants a reconcilliation (bear in mind, this is less than 12 hours since he bedded another woman!!)... She tells him "no" and he walks off, telling her that she's "pathetic"!!! Now, c'mon folks, I know that Mike is a bit of a b@st@rd at the best of times, but this is really stretching it a wee bit too far. At least usually he's smart and knows just how much he can get away with, but this level of utter insensitivity is reaching clueless Les Battersby levels! Geeesh... Anyway, thankfully, as Mike walks away, Curly sits down with Alma and invites her to dinner at his place later that night. She accepts, graciously, telling him that this is just what she needs at the moment.
Suddenly, Mike is back in Underworld (faster than a speeding bullet!) and bossing the factory bees around, telling them that if they don't increase their productivity he won't be handing out any bonuses! As he goes back into his office and the girls start to fret, Linda boasts that he's "all mouth and no trousers" (she would know, after all!) before flashing him a sly smile through the soundproof glass of his office. He smiles back, the swine!
Thankfully we cut to some far more pallatable characters now, as Gary and Jim share a pint at a table. Something is obviously troubling Jim and it soon transpires that he is facing a dilemma regarding Steve's request for £800. Half of him wants to give his son the money so as Steve can ditch his massive VAT debt but the other half is worried that this "baccy run" is going to get Cadaver Boy locked away again. Gary, the voice of reason (well, not *THE* voice of reason (hello Diane!) but one of them ;)), tells him that if it were *him* in this situation, he'd cough up the cash since this illegal "baccy run" is far less of a risk than Steve getting collared by the taxman, adding "Well, it may be the law, but he's family!"... Jim nods, then jokes "What was it the police said about you in the paper? A role model to law-abiding citizens?"
Over at Curly's House, he is trying in vain to cook a spaghetti-based concotion but is being bothered by the Ghoulish Gurrrrls, who are trying to stick the pasta up their nose. Meanwhile, in the living room, Sally is talking to Kevin (NB: Kev, the new-look facial fungus? Doesn't suit you!) about Rosie's bullying. She explains, in a VERY condescending manner, that the teacher told her that what Rosie needs is "love, comfort and attention"... Kevin says "Well, she got plenty of it when she was me!" and then *zzzzz* it turns into the TYPICAL Kevin/Sally arguement. I switch off my brain at this point since all of us here know that such a discussion is even more boring than a Michael Bolton 45 played at 33 1/3...
Over at Le Chateau Batteau, the evening meal is over, as marked by a massive belch courtesy of Les. He is enthusiastic about Janice pulling out all the stops and cooking "chicken nuggets drowned in ketchup" tonight in Vombag's honour... Meanwhile Janice looks embarrassed, Toyah looks bored, Leanne looks like the ground could swallow her up at any minute and Vikram looks well, pretty emotionless, but I think he's supposed to be a little uncomfortable... Anyway, Les continues to enthuse about how Vombag should come round more often and it soon becomes apparent why he's so approving of the boy ("How many stores does your dad own, again? Seven?"). Incidentally I couldn't help but notice how the exchange between Les and Vikram (who are sat next to each other) looked like a man with a ventriloquist dummy, since Vik's face freezes completely every time he finishes talking. Seriously, you watch! As soon as his line is done, his face just flops dead as if someone's pulling his strings only to be animated again when his next line comes up! Mark my words, look closely next time and you too shall see! :) Anyway, I digress... The scene ends with Toyah heading off to Spider's to do some revision and Les saying what a great little foursome the remaining diners make... Looking at Janice and Leanne he barks "You two can do the washing up, while I get to know young Vik here!"... Ouch!
Next up, *THE* stand-out scene of the whole episode occurs. Alma and Curly are sharing a nice spaghetti dinner over candlelight and nervously, uneasily making (highly metaphorical) small-talk about the food. Curly explains how this spaghetti bolognese is his old "meal for two" and never seems to work when he cooks it for one. He always gets it wrong when he "halves the ingredients" (There is actually a secret I know for cooking decent Spag-bol (taught to me by a real masterchef! :)) but if I were to share it with you all here, it wouldn't be a secret anymore would it??)... She nods and coughs and tells him that she's not really one for trying new recipes, although now Mike has gone, this is something she will look into, to add a bit of variety to her life... (Oh sod it, let's reproduce the next bit of dialogue in it's entirity...)
Alma: "Cooking's funny like that. You do everything according
to the book and then *one* little ingredient goes and lets you
down.... Just when you think your preparation's fine... It happens.
You see, you've got to be sure of your ingredients and, um, sometimes
you can't be..." (her voice starts to crack at this point)
"...And then even when you've used that recipe time and time
again, you just have to take them on trust because there's nothing
else you can do... You make sure your groundwork's solid so there's
a foundation there for success, and, um, you work hard so that
the mixture's right and.. sometimes if there's a problem, you
can think about it and change the mix so that everything stays
ok..." (she chokes back tears) "...Then one little ingredient
that you've always relied on in the past, does something peculiar.
And instead of it all coming up light and delicious..." (she's
breaking down now!) "...it comes up flat... and it tastes
bitter. So all the hard work and assumptions you made about your
ingredients... don't add up anymore..." (she regains her
composure and coughs lightly) "... Sorry."
Curly: (After a long pause, missing the entire metaphor) "No,
it's alright... it's, it's good to be passionate about cooking..."
LOL! A great scene. Comes across very badly on paper, I'm sure, but Amanda Barrie's touching acting (and indeed Kev Kennedy's superlative comic timing!) made it work really well. A top class piece of work that outshone the rest of the episode, I'm afraid to say! :)
So, back to the Rovers now, where the Great Rotting Cadaver Boy stumbles to the bar, craving fresh souls and a pint. Jim approaches him, Building Society Book in hand, and tells him that he's decided he *WILL* lend him the £800 for the "baccy run" funds... They shake hands on it and Steve buys his Dad a whiskey. Somehow, I sense that this "baccy run" idea isn't going to work out QUITE how they intend for it to!
Now to bring things full circle back to the Malletts' House, Gareh returns home to a "hero's welcome" (ie: A big kiss) from Judeh who is glad to see him home... Just as they embrace, the doorbell rings and it's a mean lookin' fellow in a leather jacket. He growls and pushes a bewildered Gareh indoors, angrily proclaiming "I know your sort, pal, window-cleaners! You stay away from my wife!"... Oops, it seems this guy is Mrs Hardy's husband (yes, he's pretty hard!) and he's unimpressed by the photo of her kissing Gary on the cheek in the papers! He leaves with the warning he'll "ram that ladder somewhere that'll make your eyes water" if Gary is spotted anywhere near his wife again! Oh dear!! Roll credits! :)
So, as ever, I've waffled endlessly in the above text on how I felt about this Peter Mills scripted episode rather than save it for the 'epilogue'... But to summarise, it's really been 50/50. Some niceness from Gary and Jim, a great scene between Curly and Alma and a couple of laughs at the Battersby dinner were really all we got amidst the venom and the bile. Every soap needs a few bad guys, folk you love to hate, etc, but quite frankly seeing Sally, Vikram, Leanne (who *was* getting quite pleasant up until recently!) *and* Mike all have major storylines (in which, of course, they are the very bad guys) at once in one episode is too much horror to swallow in one dose!!
Anyway, it could be better but it could definately be worse... Let's just wait and see how things go from here, eh? 'Til next time! :)
The Rattler
Hiya folks!!!! ... Time again for another update....
It's not been a great week healthwise, with the dreaded depression taking a grip this week - probably a combination of the feeling of deflation after a holiday break and a reduction in the level of my anti-depressant medication.
Still, we are around to tell the tale, which is what matters - progress on the computer front after the upgrade of the main part of my system. The upgrades will give me a chance to introduce some new Corrie developments to my website.
At long last, we are starting to see some movement on the UK internet front. Late last year, we had the introduction of free internet access, albeit with normal UK telephone charges - despite the fact that the major cost component is the phone cost, this move has proved to be a tremendous success. In the last few weeks, this has moved on further, with a number of providers arranging internet access at weekends free of all phone costs - the number of providers jumping on this bandwagon is increasing with some major names joining that club. We also have ISDN connections at a more affordable rate, cable access is around the corner and the satellite broadcaster, BSkyB, has joined the club with the uplink provided by conventional phone and the downlink through the satellite dish... a revolution is around the corner and hopefully, my phone bill will start to take a tumble. The changes will mean a reorganisation of my net facilities and a change of main provider, but more of that in due course...
Episode sponsored by Cadbury's Wispa Gold
The programme starts at the Battersbys. Leanne is sorting herself out with some breakfast, while Toyah is frantically revising, her books and papers all over the table. When Leanne brushes away some of Toyah's books, this is enough to start another scrap, one which Janice declines to join. Leanne suggest that Toyah should study in her bedroom but Toyah points out that she would, if only Leanne's things weren't all over the floor. Leanne announces that the problem is soon going to be solved, she is moving out as she has found alternative accommodation at the Rovers. Janice ruefully comments "living over the top of a pub, your dad would kill for a chance like that." Leanne rubs it in with Toyah, saying that she will have her own bedroom, it should do wonders for her sex life.
Mike is getting ready to go to work. He tells Linda she needs to get a move on, as she will miss her bus. He doesn't want to give her a lift to work, as this would drive a wedge between her and her mates. When Linda says she can handle it, Mike makes it clear it will make life difficult for both of them. He doesn't want any complications with his divorce, he tells her. She jokingly tells him she needs to be going as she has to catch her bus, the boss at the place where she works goes mad if you are late.
Ravi tells Nita he is unhappy with Vikram dating Leanne - there are complications going out with married women. Even though Nick is in Canada, Ravi fears it spells trouble. Nita doesn't want to get involved, as Vikram won't listen to her - Ravi bemoans the fact that he might have listened to his mother, but he will certainly not listen to him.
Leanne comes to the Rovers with her cases and Natalie explains to Betty that Leanne will be living in. When Betty recalls the days when Mrs Walker had a pot man living on the premises, Natalie replies that this would not be a good idea, imagine the gossip which would fly around the place. Betty puts her foot in it by saying that this was never a problem with Mrs Walker, as she was a real lady, one of the old school. "Gee, thanks" is the gist of Natalie's response but Betty son puts her straight, she didn't mean it that way, in any case she was a great deal older. When Leanne asks which will be her room, Natalie tells her to sit down as she wants to set some ground rules - keep your own room clean, don't treat the bar like your own fridge and no surprises - she doesn't want to find "any strange men on the landing in the middle of the night, although, on second thoughts.. ", she jokingly adds.
Alison has seen Linda getting off the bus and starts quizzing her, the bus doesn't go anywhere near her house. Linda has to do some quick thinking and says she stayed with her auntie Maggie. Janice remarks that no-one can keep a secret around here, there is always someone who has their beady eye on you. "Absolutely right" says Mike, telling Janice he saw her arriving late today- he wonders why she is always last in yet she lives the nearest. Janice teases Mike by saying that it was this aliment she has to rub ointment all over herself. This embarrasses Mike, who cuts the conversation short. He starts handing out the wage packets and remarks that, with Wimbledon next week, they may see some of their creations on the British girls. Linda comments that the British girls are not on court long enough for anyone to notice their knickers. "Well I do" replies Mike, "I make a point of looking." Janice expresses disgust and Alison comments to the girls that Mike is sounding a bit chirpy today - "probably taken a fancy to some poor beggar, that usually makes him feel good" adds Janice. Linda smirks silently, keeping her secret.
Alma and Audrey are having a drink in the Rovers. They are talking about the way they could be spending their time, as an alternative to the Rovers. When Audrey reckons that Mike is in some fancy restaurant, Alma says that entertaining is all part and parcel of the rag trade business, to secure the contract. Audrey notes that Alma had a contract with Mike and since he broke it, she is surely entitled to claim against him.
Sally is packing up her van for another day the market. While doing so, she swaps pleasantries with Judy, who is taking the twins out in their pram. Sally's mobile phone rings. It is school to tell her that Rosie has been naughty and asking her to come to school straightaway.
There is a knock on the Malletts' door - when Gary answers it, Mr Grant is outside, furious. He accuses Gary of not being able to keep his nose out of his private business, tells him to keep away from his wife and thumps Gary in the face. Having done so, he runs off, leaving Gary wondering. Judy has witnessed the events and asks him what is going on. Les has also seen what has happened and comes over, no doubt, to pick up any salacious details. Judy tells him the show is over and hurriedly ushers Gary inside the house.
... and the theme tune comes in, on cue for the end of part 1
After the ads, it's part 2
The second part of the programme commences at the Malletts. Judy
thinks that Gary has been hit because he was having an affair
with Mrs Hardy, but Gary denies it. He explains that Mr Grant
obviously thinks Gary shopped him about his girlfriend to his
wife. Just then there is a knock at the door, this time, it's
Mrs Hardy - she has popped round to warn Gary that her husband
is on the rampage.
When Ravi expresses his reservations about Leanne to Rita and his opinion that Leanne is bad news, Rita tells him that Leanne might not be an angel, but she is not a bad girl.
Mrs Grant is explaining how she had found out about her husband's affair from a girlfriend and when she tackled him this morning, he had assumed Gary was the informant. She apologises for what has happened and explains that her husband is a violent man and she has had enough, she is going to leave him. Judy is chastened by the revelations, but Gary is very hurt that Judy didn't believe him and goes to the Rovers to drown his sorrows.
Mike tells the girls to come back sober from the pub after lunch and Linda pokes fun about him getting his knickers in a twist.
Ashley has been helping Maxine decorate her flat, so she buys him lunch at the pub.
In the Rovers, Les pokes fun at Gary imagining that Gary has been involved with Mrs Hardy - he launches into a hilarious rendition of "When I'm cleaning windows", with the factory girls doing the chorus. Gary sees the funny side of the leg-pull.
When Sally sees Kevin later on, she tells him about Rosie's misbehaviour. Kevin puts it all down to what Rosie has been through with the Greg Kelly episode and Sally takes umbrage at being blamed, once more. Kevin quickly accepts his share of the blame. Sally tells him that Rosie needs to be punished and grounded at the weekend. When Kevin protests that he is due to be taking both of the girls out at the weekend, Sally says that he should only take Sophie and that he should leave Rosie behind. They have to get through to her that she just cannot behave as she wants.
Gary has returned from the pub to an apologetic Judy - he is bemused at the ribbing he took at the pub.
At the Rovers, Ashley asks Leanne how she is getting on back at home. "Crowdy, noisy and uncomfortable" is Leanne's reply, "but I don't live there anymore." She tells him she has moved to the Rovers, hoping this will upset him. "I bet you're lonely all on your own" she asks, but his reply is to the contrary. "It's great", he tells her.
He brings the drinks over to Maxine, who thanks him for his help. He volunteers to do the woodwork and the second coat tomorrow. She is hungry and suggests taking him out for a pizza. He offers to cook something at his place - the offer is duly accepted.
Ravi is telling Nita that he doesn't want to talk about Vikram, that subject is closed - he wants to talk about her important executive career. It's early days yet, she tells him, but it will be. She tells him about Freshco being American-owned and big on togetherness - cynically, Ravi interprets this as a money saving ploy - she tells him about their Midsummer Ball, and, much to his delight, invites him as her partner.
Back at Ashley's, he and Maxine discuss how long it has been since they were together. She seeks his reassurance that he was never one of the notches on Leanne's bedpost - he gives her that assurance. Maxine tells him she feels all dirty after their spell decorating, so Ashley suggests that she takes a bath - in fact, with the smell of paint in her flat, why doesn't she stay overnight at his place, there is a spare bedroom.
It's clocking off time at the factory and the girls are leaving after another day's work. In the idle banter, Janice tells Mike that if she wins the lottery, she won't be in after the weekend. Mike replies that if he wins then she WILL be looking for another job. Her riposte is that he is the sort who WOULD win. Linda comes up to the clock and Janice asks when they are going to have a night out together - "not tonight, I've made other arrangements" is Linda's reply. They go out of the factory together, but Linda doubles back on the pretext of having left her jacket behind.
Mike isn't amused at Linda poking fun at him in front of the girls She replies that she has always done that and, anyway, she thought that he didn't want anyone to catch on. He tells her not to go too far. He asks her what she has planned for tonight - when she tells him that there is nothing lined up, Mike invites her away for the weekend at a country hotel. "A dirty weekend?" she jokes. "Certainly not, we'll have a bathroom en-suite" is his reply. The smile on her face tells us that she has caught her fished and is pleased with the result.
Maxine has had her bath and comes down in Ashley's dressing gown. They start to reminisce about times gone by - she wonders whether they would still be together had she not got jealous over him and Zoë. She confesses that she had miscalculated - when she walked out on him, she thought he would be upset, and had bargained on him kicking Zoë out - that would have enabled her to move back in and everything would be alright. It's Ashley's turn to confess, maybe he should have kicked out Zoë, it would have saved a lot of grief all round - he had only felt sorry for Zoë, certainly at that stage. He did get fond of Zoë, but she didn't give a damn about him. Maxine sits down alongside Ashley and tells him how good he has always been to her - she kisses him tenderly on the lips. Ashley gulps, "you shouldn't have done that, not unless you meant it." "What, this?" she asks as she takes his head in her hands and kisses him again. They lock in a passionate embrace.....
And with tha it is the cue for music and credits ...
Episode written by John Stephenson
All material is, and remains, copyright property of Granada Television.
Well, how was it for me?
A quick summary - quite a nice episode. Leanne plays her part well, as ever, firstly in her conflicts with Toyah and in her catching up on lost time now that she is foot loose and fancy free again.
Saeed Jaffrey is ever the professional, portraying Ravi's evident frustration with his son. Equally, Sally is up against it with Rosie and her wayward behaviour - here she is again, treating Danny as a doormat - you're too good for her, walk away from her, mate.
Comedy moment of the show provided by Les Battersby and his hilarious "When I'm Cleaning Windows" routine - don't miss it!!
Unrealistic storyline - Mike falling for the Linda's plot, so soon after being taken to the cleaners by Julia Stone. Isn't she wonderfully wicked, though?
Tender moments provided by Ashley and Maxine, getting back together again. Tracy Shaw has come on in leaps and bounds in the last few months and its pleasing to see Ashley's face - like the cat which has found the cream.
Nice one. Very enjoyable.
Anyway that's it for now.. well, I can't stand here gabbin', I've got pies to shift. Until the next time, take care... Tubby greetings and Tinkyluv from the Tinkster in Glorious Glossop....
Regards, Alan
Hotel: The episode opens in the dining room of a smart hotel, where Mike and Linda are having their breakfast. Linda requests a Buck's Fizz from the waiter, causing Mike to comment that she knows how to enjoy herself. Linda says she was born for this lifestyle, as she finishes licking and sealing her roll-your-own cigarette and allows the waiter to light it for her.
Audrey's House: Over breakfast, Audrey peruses the Sunday paper while Alma looks contemplative. Audrey tries to lighten the mood and suggests they go out, but Alma is not keen. She begins to cry and reveals that it would have been her Wedding Anniversary and Mike had promised they would spend the weekend in their special hotel; Alma hadn't expected things to turn out so differently. Audrey is supportive and well meaning, but she just doesn't understand when Alma says she feels old, but not the sort of way that you can combat by dressing up and using make up to look younger. Audrey wonders what other sort of old there is. Alma comes over all melancholy and talks about the realisation of being alone and having nothing to look forward to and no time to rectify the situation. She recovers, and they joke that the days of meeting a couple of likely batchelors seem to be long gone, though they are not quite on the shelf yet. Audrey speculates that Mike is the one who will have a lonely old age and wonders who he is spending that Sunday morning with.
Hotel: Mike and Linda stroll away from the table and Mike tips the waiter, who responds with a 'Thank you, Mr Baldwin.' Linda asks how he knows the place so well, and Mike says he and Alma have been there on special occasions; he looks at his watch, then encourages Linda to go off to the jacuzzi while he goes for a walk in the grounds. She offers to go with him, but he firmly refuses. He glances at his watch again, and when the waiter tells him the time, Mike mutters that he was thinking about the date!
Sally's House: Kevin and Alison arrive and are greeted by Rosie who gives Kevin a Fathers' Day card. She has painted it herself and Kevin is delighted with it. Rosie asks Kevin if she can go out with them, but Sally firmly reminds everyone that Rosie is grounded and has to write a letter of apology to the girl she has been bullying. Kevin takes Sophie and leaves, so Rosie stabs her pencil into the dining table. Sally sees them off at the door. Kevin is unhappy about not taking Rosie with him on Fathers' Day, but Sally is adamant that Rosie must be taught a lesson. When Sally gets back inside she is angry about what Rosie has done and says she must paint a card instead.
Corner Shop: Ravi gently teases Nita about Freshcos Summer Ball, wondering what he should wear. Nita says it is casual dress, so Vik offers Ravi a pair of combat trousers!
Sally's House: Sally goes to see what Rosie has been doing, only to find the child has vanished, leaving only a few daubs of paint on the dining room wall! Sally grits her teeth and marches towards the stairs.
Corner Shop: Vikram watches in evident disgust as Ashley and Maxine make lovey-dovey giggling conversation. Eventually she buys some milk, and accepts Ashley's innuendo-laden offer to give her woodwork a rubdown. (Wish someone would come and rub down mine!)
Sally's House: Danny has called round, and Sally is relieved to have another grown-up to talk to. She tells him about Rosie playing her up, and says she doesn't know what to do. Danny says it won't help if Rosie realises that Sally doesn't know what to do about it. He suggests they go out, and Sally says they can't since Rosie is grounded. He says that means Rosie is in control, so Sally agrees that they ought to go - since Sally herself desperately needs to get out. (I must admit to being confused by the logic of Danny's argument here)
Rovers: Jim gazes gloomily at his pint, and Betty asks what is wrong. He tells her that Steve went on a business trip and was expected back yesterday but hasn't turned up.
Park: Danny and Sally stroll along a wooded path, but there is no sign of Rosie. Sally shouts her name. No response. Sally thanks Danny for bringing them out, and he asks if they can go for a meal sometime. Before Sally can reply, there is a child's scream, and they run off towards a lake, where they find Rosie, another smaller girl who is crying and a man. The man says that she, Rosie, threw his girl's teddy bear in the water. Sure enough, there is a brown bear, wearing a green spotted necktie, floating in the water. Danny tries to calm the man, but he is adamant that Rosie did it deliberately and demands Danny wade in and retrieve the bear. Sally stands behind Danny, only speaking to ask Rosie if it is true, to which she replies 'It was an accident!' The man speculates that Rosie needs a good hiding, and that Danny would sort her out if he were a good father. Danny offers him some money to buy a new bear, which the man grudgingly accepts. Sally apologises to Danny.
Break
Jim's House: Steve returns, and Jim asks why he was so long. Steve says he was with some contacts. Jim wonders why he needs to foster contacts since that was a one-off, but Steve shrugs it aside. He gives Jim a bottle of whisky for Fathers' Day and tells him not to moan. Jim says he was worried that customs had caught them. Steve prepares to go out and start selling his tobacco.
Sally's House: Sally scolds Rosie and sends her to her room. Danny sits in silence until Rosie has gone. Sally wonders what is happening, since she had always thought she was a good mother, but now she feels powerless, and despairs that both children are miserable and moody. She says that when she saw mothers shouting at their children in the supermarket, she used to feel superior (!). Danny is sympathetic, telling her she is a good mother. Sally struggles to remember some advice she read, and Danny finishes the quote for her: If a child lives with criticism it learn to condemn; if a child lives with hostility it learns to fight; if a child lives with riducule it learns to be shy. Sally knows that she should stop nagging at the children and fighting with Kevin in front of them. Danny asks her out again, but Sally says that Rosie is her only concern at the moment. She thanks him for his help. He accepts her decision and goes home.
Shop: Steve offers Vikram some of the goods, but does not notice that Vik is very shifty-looking. It becomes apparent why when Ravi appears, asking what Steve is offering. They concoct a story about surplus paint, but Ravi seems suspicious. Steve leaves.
Rovers: Fred goes to get drinks for Alma and Audrey, while Audrey urges Alma to seek advice from a solicitor first thing in the morning. At the bar, Fred notices that Ashley is paint-splattered, and Ashley explains he has been helping Maxine decorate. Fred is unimpressed, and tells Ashley that Mr and Mrs Peach, and their charming daughter Belinda, will be Fred's guests at the Freshco Summer Ball, and that Ashley will be escorting Belinda. They own the loal abbatoir, and Fred has visions of overseeing the joining of two dynasties to forge an empire, if Ashley and Belinda were to hit it off. Fred brushes aside Ashley's protest that Maxine is accompanying him. By the time Fred arrives back at Audrey and Alma's table, Ravi is there. Both men flatter the ladies, then Fred asks Audrey to the ball with him; Ravi counteracts by asking Alma for a dance at the ball, explaining that he will be there as a guest of Nita. Fred is surprised that Ravi is going 'That _has_ made my evening, that has!'
Sally's House: Sally moans at Kevin for being late back with Sophie. He says he tried to phone but there was no reply. Rosie says that Danny took them to the park, and Kevin sees red. He doesn't allow Sally to send the girls away and although she attempts to get him to calm down and discuss it, he gets even more angry when Rosie pipes up that Danny got into a fight with a man. Sally protests that it wasn't like it sounds, but Kevin is clearly very angry. He asks Sally if she has gone mad, what with everything the girls have gone through.
Rovers: Leanne chats up Vik, asking where they are going on her night off tomorrow. He says he has no money, but Leanne doesn't want to upset Natalie by having him at the pub. Leanne sulks about not being taken out somewhere posh. Steve sidles up to Vik and reminds him that he has a sure-fire money-making scheme. Vik agrees to take some of the dodgy gear - when his Dad isn't around. Maxine and Ashley appear, still in their paint-splattered clothing. Fred mentions Ashley's date, and Ashley reassures Maxine that Fred's fantasy of fixing him up with Belinda is nonsense. Maxine looks slightly disgruntled.
Audrey's House: Alma and Audrey relax with a drink and giggle about the way Ravi and Fred were showing off that evening. They are flattered by the competitive attentions of the two men. Alma affirms that she will go to the solicitor tomorrow, and vows to beat Mike at his own game.
Mike's Flat: Mike and Linda arrive home after their weekend away. She remarks he has been quiet and wonders what she has done wrong. He assures her it is him, not her. She offers to leave, but Mike explains that he had forgotten it was his Wedding Anniversary the previous day. Linda sniffily asks if her was planning on sending flowers. Mike says it has put his life in perspective. Linda again offers to leave, but Mike says he doesn't want to be on his own. They embrace, and Linda smiles to herself in a satisfied way.
Written by Peter Mills
Best line: Fred to Ashley, regarding Belinda Peach: 'Scrubs up real well out of her overalls and looks a real treat without her wellies on. ..... I'm pulling your leg; she works in th'office!'
A reasonable episode, although if you were biased you could say we saw rather a lot of Sally and her parenting trials. One clue that was dropped for the future, possibly, but I'm speculating here, was when Danny quoted the child-rearing advice. He said that it was on the wall at his doctor's surgery, and that if you look at something often enough you remember it. Could it be that Sally's new friend has a medical problem? We have speculated previously in ratucs that there are few chronically disabled or sick characters. Just a thought; and a good one on which to end. so goodnight all, and I'll update you again in a fortnight's time.
Helen Johns, Salisbury
Hiya :)
Well, as it seems to be that I post a very-mini-weather report at the beginning of each Update, I'm pleased to announce that the weather outside at the moment is really quite lovely! Sunny, warm, pleasant... And why shouldn't it be! It's the Summer Solstice after all, the longest day of the year here in the UK. So, almost fittingly, it being the longest day and all, tonight's Corrie dragged ON and ON and ON miserably. Sorry to report, but this episode was far from sunny, warm or pleasant, tho. Perhaps it's just that certain stories have a tendency to poison the whole crop or perhaps it's simply a case of bad dialogue all round, who knows? Either way, even the better stuff tonight seemed like Corrie-on-Autopilot in comparison to what we've been getting lately, so please excuse the tone and brevity of my writing here.
The show opens early morning on a rather implausible note where a story that, up until now, has been interesting and enjoyable going to pot over at Mike Baldwin's flat where Linda has stayed the night. She says she'd best be off but Mike stops her and offers to give her a lift into work! When she points out that it may be a bit of a risk driving her to the factory, he suggests the ingenius (AHEM) idea of dropping her off round the corner! Wow, Mike - Magic solution, surely NO ONE will see from there, eh?? As if Mike'd be willing to take *ANY* risks at all in a situation like this, let alone one this daft!
So we skip ahead to the Cornershop, where Sickly enters with Sophie and Regan, err, Rosie in tow. Alison is buying some goods at the till and immediately, the DevilSpawn starts pestering her, grabbing at her hand, playing with her groceries and asking if she can take her to school instead of Sally... Alison does her best to be polite about things, saying that she has to go to work when Sickly soon puts a stop to events by saying (and I kid ye not!) "Stop bothering Alison and go and find me a tin of beans!" (!). The gurrls have heard this drill enough to know the score, so as they both shuffle off in search of their gourmet treats, Sally apologises to Alison about Rosie's behaviour before purchasing the beans, along with some biscuits (what a combination!) and leaving hurriedly, gurrls close behind. At this point, Steve MacDonald walks in and the most irritating storyline we've seen since Nick left continues. Yes, the "baccy run" saga. Cadaver Boy is trying to sell a whole bunch of contraband tobacco to Vikram at £3 a packet (correct me if I'm wrong but aren't these things £3 a packet or thereabouts when you buy them behind the counter anyway?). Boring, boring, boring. Snooze. In the interests of "fair" reportage tho, I'll inform you briefly that Vombag tells Steve he'll take the tobacco and pay him later, just as Ravi appears and gets a feeling that something suspicious is going on. I get the feeling of my brain falling asleep.
So we cut to Victoria Street, just outside Roy's Rolls, which is the corner that Mike has decided to drop Linda off on! Great idea, Mike, drop her off *right* outside the living quarters of one of your other employees. Maybe I'm just too picky but there's no way that Mike would be *THIS* blatantly dumb! Especially not after what's happened to him recently! He's an *evil* son-of-a-gun, yes, but stupid? The Personality Transplant Fairy (remember him?) has waved his magic wand over the head of Mr Baldwin it seems. You will get no cash prizes for guessing that *just* as Mike waves goodbye to Linda, Sir Royston and Lady Hayley of Cropper step out of the Cafe and catch sight of it all. Roy, trusting soul that he is, remarks that he doesn't think there's anything suspicious about it, but needless to say, the first (and utterly contrived) penny has dropped. Someone somewhere is going to find out. Quelle surprise.
Meanwhile, at the Salon, Maxine arrives a little late and, upon interrogation from Audreh, admits that she stayed the night at Ashley's. She also confesses that they're back together! Audrey is ecstatic for the two young lovebirds and squeals "Oooh, whatta surprise!" to which Maxine replies "Oh yeah, Ashley's full of surprises", smiling cheekily.
In the Underworld Of Delight, the Factory Bees are getting changed for work and when Alison cops sight of the skimpy number that Linda is putting away in her locker, questions are asked. "Looks like you had a good weekend", comments the Mini-Mavis, "Was it a bloke?"... Linda boasts that "of course it was a bloke", adding "I don't get dressed up like that for just anybody, you know, he's got to have a bit of class". At this point we cut across the room to where Janice and some new lady called Jean seen are opening their lockers. Jean seems to be stashing several (I'm talking something like 20 - 25) pairs of knickers in her locker and, as one falls out, Janice cops sight. Jean, who is a very poor actress and so token that you could use her in a fruit machine, frantically begs Janice not to tell anyone, even asking if she wants a cut in it. Warrior Princess Battersby looks disapproving, claiming she wants no part of it and will pretend she hasn't seen anything. A nearby Linda, however, simply grins snidely. Zzz...
There's a knock on the door of Curly's office, as Alma comes in to ask for the afternoon off. She needs to see her solicitor about the divorce, it seems. Curly is very sympathetic and tells her that of course it's ok for her to take time off and he also has a question for her. "I wondered if you'd go to the Freshco's Do with me", he asks and before he's had chance to even so much as breathe, she bites his head off screaming "Do I look like a charity case??" then swiftly apologising when she realises his intentions are sincere. Eventually, after a badly played (from two usually very good actors!) and badly written (by Ken Blakeson, who's usually great too!) exchange of dialogue, she agrees to go to the ball with him...
Now, even Fred and Ravi (usually two of my favourites!) seem forced in this scene, where the former is buying some expensive chocolates and malt from the Cornershop Owner. They share a brief and curiously downplayed exchange about the Freshco Ball and how Fred intends to woo Councillor Roberts with his charm. As Ravi reaches under the counter to get Fred's chocolates, quelle surprise (and zut alors!), he finds his son Vombag's secret stash of stolen tobacco. Ho hum.
Back at the factory, Plot-Device-Jean "nips to the loo" (loo, loo, nip to the loo) and puts some more stolen underwear in her locker at the same time. Linda, conviniently follows her and watches as the nicked knickers are stored away.
Vikram returns to the Cornershop, from the Cash N Carry only to be confronted by Ravi about the dodgy tobacco. In truly predictable fashion, Vombag runs through the only three facial expressions they taught him at acting school which are "Huh - So what?", "Cha - As if!" and "Har - har har", as Ravi verbally berates him for being stupid enough to buy contraband from Steve MacDonald. Snore.
We return to the show at Roy's Rolls, where Roy fetches some tea for Alma but is unable to persuade her to try his pasta. She's not hungry since she's only recently returned from seeing her solicitor, a point she makes quite clear to Roy just as Audrey Roberts enters and takes a seat next to her. As the Good King of Croppershire goes to get another cup of tea, Alma explains to her housemate what happened at the solicitor's office. Uninteresting (well, to me anyway, and who's writing this? ;)) legal gubbins follows as she explains that the only way for her to get her money out of Mike is to apply for a 2-year seperation since if she sues him for adultery he will no doubt deny it (!)(hello? photos!?) and she will be left with nowt. Or something equally dubious.
Ravi (who it seems has been on Mogadon for the last few episodes) shows up round at the MacDonald House with a box of contraband tobacco in his arms. He thrusts it towards Jim and explains the tale of how Steve tried to sell it to Vikram. Needless to say, Jim pleads ignorance of the situation and apologises profusely to the Shopkeeper, attesting that such an event won't happen again.
The absurdity continues in the Rovers with Steve selling two (yes, two!) small packets of tobacco to Spider for £2.50 a piece. Surely shifting them in bulk would be the best way to make money here? And again, I must ask how much is a packet of rolling tobacco over the counter anyway? It can't be much more than that! And to make it worse, dealing contraband right in front of the bar is really too daft even for Steve MacDonald. Again, I hope I'm not just being too picky but this whole episode seemed to reek of a dozen little implausibilites like this. Perhaps it's just that after the recent run of great storylines it seems irritating to be reduced to this? I dunno... Anyway, across the bar, Kevin and Alison are chatting about the gurrrls. Kev reckons that, since Sally is a bad parent (takes one to know one), he needs desperately to find a new place to live so that Razorblade and Soapie can come stay with him more often... On the other side of the bar, Fred asks Mike how his weekend was and Mike, surprisingly, tells him that he had a "wonderful weekend" in a five-star country hotel. When the Butcher of Weatherfield brings up the subject of female company, Mike winks and says "You don't think I've given all that up do you?"... Behind them, Ashley and Maxine are swapping smoochy smalltalk about their relationship and when Ash gets up to use the loo, Fred dives into the booth and begins interrogating Max. It seems he wants to ensure that the relationship between her and his son is merely platonic since he has nefarious plans of his own to set Ashley up with "Belinda Peach", daughter of a wealthy Abbatoir Owner, at the Freshco Ball on Friday. Max, unimpressed that Ashley hasn't told Fred already about their relationship, says that she "won't stand in his way" and leaves the pub.
Loathsome Leanne enters the Cornershop and demands to know where Vombag is taking her tonight! He tells her that they can't go out tonight because he has to work. When she begs Ravi to give his son the night off, he intones "If I had a pound for all the odd nights off he has taken to go out with his various women, I would be a millionaire". Lee takes offence at this and storms out as Ravi proceeds to lecture his Vile Vacuous Vacant Vomitous Vile Vapid Vain Void Venomous son about the tobacco business, about dating a married woman and about having acting skills that make Adam Rickitt's look like Lawrence Oliver's... (Ok, ok, the last bit I made up but the point still stands...)
...As we cut across to the Salon, where Ashley arrives to see where Maxine has gotten off to. She explains she didn't want to "cramp his style" before explaining what Fred said and then asking why Ashley hadn't told him about their relationship... Ash (in probably the sweetest moment of the whole show) says "Well, I wasn't sure if I was, like, your boyfriend" (aww, bless) and, with a kiss, Maxine assures him that he is. :)
Unfortunately, this fleeting moment of warmth is wrecked by appalling editing which lands us straight from the kiss to the middle of Freshco's meat stall where Ashley (dressed in full butcher garb now!) approaches Fred for a showdown... Argh, now it's just a pet gripe of mine, but I really *wish* they would shove just a small interlude (no matter how inconsequential) in between scenes like this. It just sticks out like a sore thumb to see Ashley leave the Salon one second in casual dress then be all ready for work and several miles across town the next. Maybe it's just me? Anyway, I'm digressing like a mad thing here, so back to the plot. Ash chastises Fred for interfering in his business and tells him straight that he and Maxine are now officially an item. The Burly Butcher is shocked and tells his son that they had better "unbecome an item" since Belinda (of Abbatoir fame) is a far more appealing 'catch' (being the heiress to a fortune and all) than a lowly hairdresser. Ashley meanwhile is quite adamant that nothing shall come between him and the new love of his life, warning Fred that he'd better not even think about it.
Over at The House Of Mac, Steve returns home and is given a very similar lecture (with an added "I want my money back") from Jim as Vikram was given by Ravi about being stupid and taking unnecessary risks. I hit the fast forward button and hope that this dull Tobacco storyline finishes soon.
Fred is standing at the bar of The Rovers, explaining his shock and horror to Audrey about Ashley and Maxine being back together. The Butcher is offended that whilst he tried to fix his offspring up with "the most eligible spinster in all the Parish", Ashley is "content to go to bed with a hairdresser!" - At which point, Audrey reminds him that she herself is a hairdresser... Then follows the funniest line of the night: "Yes, but you're different, you're a proprieter! You've got money behind you!" - annnnnd cut to just behind them, where Kevin and Alison are sitting discussing the purchase of a property. When Mini-Mavis suggests that she helps Kev pick some furniture, he tells her the of course she will since, on his understanding they were moving in to somewhere *together*! She is surprised but ultimately delighted by this.
Cadaver Boy brings the tobacco back to Vombag and is surprised when he doesn't want to have it back. Wood splinters, bark cracks and Ronseal drips as I drift off into a deep slumber.
Back in the Rovers, Maxine and Ashley swap yet more smoochy smalltalk as, across the room, Fred talks to Alma and Audrey. He wonders if Alma's found a place of her own yet, adding that "three's a crowd" and if one of the ladies were to find "the right man", it could be a very uncomfortable situation (hm, wonder who he's talking about ;))... They both inform him that for now Alma is there to stay and that neither of them are likely to find such a man... "You are a pair of very fragrant women!" he barks, passionately "Don't underestimate your powers of attraction!" - Alma is feeling attracted to the Ladies Loo at this point, so as she heads off, Fred takes the opportunity to ask Audrey back to his place for a nightcap. She declines politely because she doesn't want to abandon Alma in her hour of need, telling him "Another time, Fred" as he slinks away to sulk. We cut now to Cadaver Boy at the bar as he tries to sell his cruddy tobacco to Linda Sykes who, incidentally, is having none of it. He's collared quickly by Betty who tells him sternly to pedal his wares in another establishment and we finally wrap up the show with a quick exchange between Linda and Mike at the bar. He tells her that he'll be free tomorrow night if she wants to come round and she accepts the invitation, touching him affectionately on the hand and smiling... Unfortunately for the two of them, Hayley who is sitting at the other side of the pub, notices the flirty gesture and the second penny begins to drop. Mercifully cue credits.
Well, yes, I know that the above is pretty much 200 lines of waffle with very little substance or even indication of what happened in the show, but quite frankly, it was too much effort to try and mould something exciting, funny and/or readable out of tonight's hunk o' junk. As they say, you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
Needless to say, tonight's show gets thrown straight into a box marked "Could Do Better" so I'll wrap this all up neatly by saying I sincerely hope things improve by next week.
'Til Next Time!
The Rattler
Shwmai
Lots of hugs to that loveable Devonshire bumpkin, Ivor Morrish, for doing the 9th June update for me. And a truly wonderful job he did too. Bless his little cotton pitchfork. ;)
There was no update (from me, anyway) for last Wednesday as I accidentally taped 'Earth: Final Conflict' over last weeks episode. I was going to do an update of that just for a change but, seeing how some people are still confused by some of my nicknames, I figured that if I started writing about the Taelons and the Jardinian then they would really loose the plot. :)
Apologies for the shortness of this update but time is against me this week. I have a mountain of paperwork to sift through, a tutorial to attend, and an amorous cat who keeps trying to jump on me.
Has anyone seen those gorgeous wolf cubs that have just been born in England. Aww. I want one.
Btw ok, ok, I'll get on with it in a minute if anyone has seen the Mike Myers 'Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me' film please could you email me and let me know what you thought of it.
On with the update for 23rd June 1999. The Siamese Queen has gone into hiding this week as she doesn't want to be associated with that other bunch of Royals who've recently been in the news, so she's elected her boring old alter ego to do this week's stint.
Over at Roy's Rolls, the Royal Bride is debating on whether to say anything about Linda (I can no longer call her Loathsome as I actually really like the character) and Lord Hades. Sir Royston reckons it might not have been what she thought. She says she definitely thinks something is going on. He says the thought of something between Lord Hades and Linda is ridiculous and that no one would believe her anyway,
Over at the Underworld of Delight, the Refresher is telling Xena about her plans to move in with the Manic Mechanic. Linda says she is 'dead happy for yer' (lol! she doesn't look it. I don't think Linda, sensible girl, likes Kevin Webster). New character Jean (that hair! those eyebrows! that eyeshadow! It's 1999 woman, not 1979! <bitch>) comes over and tells the Refresher to get her name on the rent book so that he can't chuck her out if he wants to (wow! What encouragement!) Lord Hades comes in and moans at the girls for 'gossiping'. Xena wants to know why he's so grumpy lately.
Over at the Salon, the Necrobutcher is asking the Witch in the Wardrobe if she wants to go out that night. She can't as her and Cleo are going shopping for something to wear to The Ball on Friday. The Necrobutcher says (to Audrey) that she 'exudes style and charm whatever you've got on.' Marvelous Maxine, who has been listening in, says (to Audrey) 'and I'm not I suppose?' She reckons that the Necrobutcher is having a go at her. Witchie Poo asks her what she is wearing and says that when it is quiet for her to go and try it on.
Over in the Witches Wardrobe, Lord Hades has called around to see his estranged wife. She reckons she is entitled to half of what he's got. He reckons she'll be lucky.
At the McDonald house, Jim is worried that Cadaver Boy won't be able to sell the tobacco (yawn) and that he won't get his money back.
Back in the Wardrobe, Lord Hades is still (yawn) giving Cleo a hard time. To cut a long story short, Lord Hades reckons that if Cleo has what she's entitled to then he will have to put the Factory Bees out of work (b*s*a*d!).
In the Rovers, the Manic Mechanic is telling Curly about his plans to get a flat with the Refresher.
Back at the Salon, Ravi comes in for a manicure (a manicure? Bloody hell, blokes don't have manicures. What's the matter with the big jessie?). Witchie Poo shouts up the stairs to Marvy, who is trying her evening dress on, that she has a customer (Maxine is the manicurist). Marvy comes down the stairs and trips. She thinks she's broken her ankle. Aww. The shocking pink dress looks great though. ;) (And it does. I normally loathe the colour pink, but it does look good on Tracy Shaw).
Back in the Rovers, Curly is asking Cleo if she wants a lift back to work. The Refresher comes in and tell the Manic One that she will get an evening paper to see what flat's are around. Lord Hades comes in with some documents which he gives to Cleo. (Letters for Cleo, anyone?). As he leaves, Linda runs after him to see if he's ok. He says he'll meet her outside in five minutes. She says bye to the Refresher and goes outside to where he is waiting in his car. Sir Royston sees her get in.
End of Part One
Part Two
The Witch in the Wardrobe is on the phone asking Vidal (Tom) if he will come in and replace Marvy for a few days. (My husband, who doesn't watch Corrie remember, piped up that they hadn't called Martin to come and have a look at Maxine yet. He has a point!) The Lurve Doctor comes in. He is worried and will take his Legendary Girlfriend to the doctors. She is worried that she will not be able to go to The Ball on Friday.
At Flatlands, Linda, who is in a dressing gown, is making coffee. (Why is she in a dressing gown? I thought it was lunch time. ;)) Lord Hades says he might have to sell his flat due to his divorce. He doesn't like the secrecy of their relationship but he just doesn't want her getting caught up with the divorce (oh yeah).
A brilliant scene now ensues between Fred, Maxine and Ashley and if I had more time I'd reprint it in full. The upshot is that Marvy has torn a ligament and the Necrobutcher now assumes that she isn't going to The Ball.
Over at the Underworld, the Factory Bees are going for their tea break. The Royal Bride sees Jean (that hair! those eyebrows! that eyeshadow!) put some underwear into her bag. She tells her that she shouldn't be doing that. Jean (that hair! those eyebrows! that eyeshadow!) tells her to 'get lost' and to 'go and preach to the others.'
Cadaver Boy is seen in a pub trying to sell his hooky tobacco (yawn). (Btw, I heard that Buster Merryfield, who plays Uncle Albert in the best comedy show ever to come out of the UK, 'Only Fools and Horses', is sadly in hospital at the moment. I hope he makes a speedy recovery).
Back in the Rovers, the Refresher comes in and approaches Curly and Cleo (my, my, they are getting close these days). She tells Cleo that she is getting a place with the Manic Mechanic but that her parents hadn't met him yet (boy, are they in for a treat). Curly says he will probably get himself another lodger and Cleo wonders if Medusa Gobbs is still looking for a place to live? :) Aww. Poor Curly. She then excuses herself for a minute to go across the bar to return the documents to her estranged husband, who then goes onto her some more. Yakka yakka yakka.
Back in that unnamed pub, Cadaver Boy spots a bloke he met in prison. Bloke He Met In Prison tells him he will buy his tobabbo off him and gives him smuggling tips. (I think he did, anyway. I can't remember as I lost the will to live around now. My husband reckons that Steve will end up smuggling drugs. Well, if he does, I hope he gets caught first time and gets slammed up in a French hell hole for 20 years, taking Sickram <Vikram> with him. We live in hope).
Another great scene ensues at the House of Elliot but alas etc., .... To summise, the Lurve Doctor tells Marvy that if she doesn't go to The Ball, then neither will he.
Back in the Rovers, the Refresher tells the Manic Mechanic that she has found a flat for them to look at. She is worried about what her mum and dad will say about the fact that he is separated. (I'd be more concerned what they are going to think of that beard).
Jim McD is stood by the bar. Cadaver Boy comes in with a wad of money for his dad and, oh, I can't be bothered with the rest of it.
Back at Flatlands, Linda tells Lord Hades that Jean (that hair! those eyebrows! that eyeshadow!) has been stealing underwear from him (well, not from him exactly, I doubt whether long johns are her thing) but he mustn't let on that it was her that told him. (Ut ho, who do we think is going to get the blame. I can see it a mile off). Credits roll.
Written by Phil Woods
Well isn't it funny how a couple of boring plotlines and a few obxoxious characters can totally ruin the ambience of a show. I know that we can't expect high drama or Oscar winning performances every episode, but in recent weeks I've been so disappointed in Corrie that I almost defected to That Other Soap, but only for the fact that it's got the drop dead gorgeous Martin Kemp in it. Hell, he can even be forgiven for Spandau Ballet.
I digress. I haven't been here for a few weeks so I have few things to get off my chest (ahem, so to speak). WARNING - those of a sensitive disposition should stop reading now.
First things - Cadaver Boy (Steve) and Sickram (Vikram) must be the most nauseating characters on Corrie. Even, I hate to say it, Casper the Unfriendly Rickitt Creature wasn't as vomit inducing as those two. They ruin every scene they're in and put a dampener on the whole show. And what the hell's happened to Leanne (or the Heffer, as she will be known until she gets some sort of personality back)?
The Baldwin saga is totally yawnsome. This isn't because of the actors (who are brilliant) or the characters, the lovely Alma and the hateful Mike, but because it is just dragging out and we had all this shouting at each other and bitchiness with the Websters last year. And no, I don't live in cloud cuckoo land - I *know* that people separate and get hateful towards each other. Still, the plot line is being spiced up with the inclusion of the wonderful Linda.
As for the rest well - SPOILER ALERT - although I think that we probably all know by now that Ashley and Maxine are to marry this summer. And what a totally gorgeous and natural couple they make. Talking of gorgeous and natural couples, it's great to see Roy and Hayley back, too. Also, what a wonderful couple Fred and Audrey make. Now all we need to do is get Alma sorted out with Curly, and we'll be right. I'm looking forward to the Freshco's Ball on Friday (is it this Friday?) Should be a hoot.
Btw, love the Rattler's new name for Alison. Mini Mavis. ROFL!
I've waffled enough. Normal service will be resumed next week.
Hwyl, Jane
Hiya folks!!!! ... Time again for another update....
Healthwise, things seem to be improving, one day at a time. Starting to break some bad habits and trying to reinforce some good ones - such as, going out for a walk every day. We live on the edge of some of the most beautiful countryside and I'm starting to see it again. Thanks, incidentally for the messages of love and support...
Career-wise, I have decided that a good way of getting back into the swing of things would be to offer private tuition to people looking for computer and internet training. This was after talking to someone on the channel (hiya KarenL in BC) who does just that.
Net-wise, I signed up with a new ISP offering unlimited internet access for only £9.99 per month, plus access at weekends free of all phone costs. A bit of a glitch initially, but the system got rolling after a while. I think I got my money's worth at the weekend, taking the opportunity to spend a fair amount of time online, downloading some pretty hefty software updates. I'm having IDSN installed on Wednesday, so that should also help the whole process.
Next port of call is to start updating and reorganising my websites.. anyway, that's about it.......
Episode sponsored by Cadbury's Milk Tray
The programme starts at Roy's Rolls, where Audrey is trying to persuade Alma she is entitled to half of Mike's money. Alma, however, has a conscience and cannot face the prospect of Mike having to sell his business and put everyone out of work. Audrey feels that Mike is trying it on, but Alma has had enough - she doesn't want Mike's money, she just wants the divorce. When Audrey points out that, at least Alma has the party to look forward to, Alma belittles the prospect of going to Freshco's Ball, as Curly's date. She needs more than a few drinks to make her feel better - she confides that, following Nita's arrival, she feels inadequate "like a sandwich past its sell-by date".
Fred and Ashley are snarling at each other - Ashley is going to the Ball with Maxime (sic), Fred appreciates that Ashley is fond of the girl, but cannot understand why he is taking her to the ball, "but what good's a lame mare on Gold Cup Day to a young jockey like yourself?" Ashley accuses Fred of having his own interests at heart in trying to fix him up with a date with "that Belinda Peach from t'abattoir". Fred's response is "and to a finer filly you'll find it nigh impossible to hitch your wagon" Ashley - "You're right. She is a carthorse." Fred - "No, no! She's not. No! Mind you, she does take a larger shoe size than most, but, they're thoroughbred stock are Peaches - they've been raised on nowt but the finest cuts." Ashley - "She's living proof there's summat dodgy about steroids in meat isn't she?" Classic stuff!!!! ROTFLMAO!!
In the factory the girls are gossiping at break-time - Janice reckons that, according to what she has heard, Baldwin's wife is out for all she can get and that means him selling off this place - this divorce is going to cost them their jobs.
Mike interrupts the proceedings by asking factory girls to hand over the keys to their lockers. In response to Janice's statement that the contents of their lockers are private, Mike tells her he believes that some of it could be his. Threatened with dismissal if they object, they hand in their keys one by one. When he looks in Jean's locker, he finds a pile of stolen knickers and he fires her on the spot.
Back at Freshco's, Ashley has gone AWOL - he returns with aftershave in hand for tonight. "Supermarket smellies? By eck, Ashley, you know how to impress a girl, you do" replies Fred, taking a look at the package "Parfume de Paris - Opportunity. Opportunity's what you make out of life, not what comes out of a bottle."
Curly tells Alma that he will have to give the speech at the ball - apparently, Aiden O'Donnell has been called away on business and he has to step in. he has also found out that the hotel which has taken their booking has got them mixed up with another booking, next Friday's "Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention." He should go down to the hotel to sort it out, but that's going to be difficult when he is supposed to be writing the speech. Nita deftly volunteers to sort out the hotel. Feeling pushed out, Alma says she has catering experience and offers to do that, but Curly turns down her offer, she'd be better in the store, he tells her. "Anyway, Nita's more than capable" - that statement makes Alma feel even more unwanted.
At the Rovers, Steve is having a drink - he tells Jim that he fancies the two of them having a cheer-up blow-out. Jim is already promised down the Legion.
Ravi asks Audrey if she is looking forward to the event. She confides that she has mixed feelings - it's the first do she will have been to, since Alf's death. Ravi sympathises, "when my wife died, I thought the world had become quieter and lost a little of its colour. I've often thought since, that the true beauty and joy of the world is not seeing it, but sharing it with someone you love." He persuades Audrey to put some colour back into his life and to reserve just one dance for him at the ball.
The factory girls are discussing Jean's dismissal - Linda reckons that Jean was lucky Mike didn't call the police. Alison wonders how Mike could have suspected someone was stealing from him - Linda suggests that Baldwin has eyes in the back of his head and promptly changes the subject by getting the drinks in...
... and the theme tune comes in, on cue for the end of part 1
After the ads, it's part 2
The second part of the programme commences at Audrey's place.
Fred has come to give her a lift to the ball and compliments her
on her appearance. She thanks him for the flowers - the mutual
admiration society is disturbed by the appearance of Alma. Fred
finds out he is also giving a lift to Alma, as Curly has had to
go on ahead. Taking Audrey aside, he expresses his frustration
at Alma playing gooseberry. Audrey plays it down by saying that,
as soon as they get to the ball, Alma is Curly's date and "I'm
all yours... more or less..." Fred's eyes light up.
At the ball, Nita is telling her father she told him he shouldn't have worn a dinner jacket. He puts it down to falling standards of dress. She makes him promise to be on his best behaviour. He accuses her of sounding like his own grandmother. When Curly comes over to exchange greetings, Ravi extols Nita's capabilities to him, much to her embarrassment.
Ashley and Maxine have also arrived at the ball - she feels awful at being in her state and Ashley having to do the fetching and carrying. She wonders whether she is cramping his style but he reassures her that he only wants to be with her.
At the café, Hayley is somewhat preoccupied. She wonders whether Linda tipped Mike off about Jean. When Roy isn't too surprised, Hayley wonders whether she should tell the girls. She also feels that Alma has a right to know about Mike's relationship. Roy recommends caution, but Hayley says she is already involved, she knows what is going on. Roy believes that all Hayley has, are suspicions and there is no benefit in sharing them with anyone, especially her.
Ashley and Maxine are getting on famously - she tells him she always wondered whether they would get back together again. Ashley is happy they did. Talking of happy folk, the next shot we have is of Fred making his appearance flanked by Audrey and Alma. "If this is the way they escort you into heaven, I'll not complain!!!" ROTFLMAO.
While Fred gets the drinks in, Alma starts wondering whether it was agood idea coming to the ball. Ravi sees the two ladies and comes over to them with Nita.
Fred asks Ashley whether Belinda has arrived yet. "No I don't think she's here. I've not felt the ground shake yet."!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!! Fred takes umbrage and tells Ashley that Belinda is a "Peach by name and a Peach by nature, as well as being heiress to Ackersley's Meat Processing Plant, a finer Peach any man would find it harder to pluck." Ashley "Well she can rot on the ground for all I care." Fred cuts the debate short as he has something more important to tackle.
Ravi's flirting shamelessly with the ladies and telling them of his youth in Bombay when he was known as "The Buck". Audrey compliments Ravi for looking dashing. Fred comes over to the group, obviously jealous, saying in a mix of hopefulness and sarcasm "Oh, we're dashing off to the opera, are we?"
Steve comes round to the shop to invite Vikram out for a drink but is told that he is stuck behind the counter. When Steve suggests that Vikram shuts up shop early, Vikram tells him he daren't take the chance. Anyway he is broke.
Maxine goes off to the toilet, leaving Ashley sitting alone with his drink. Suddenly, the room darkens. A shadow falls. Ashley sees some feet in front of him. He follows the body upwards towards a voluptuous bosom. Blonde hair, bright red lipstick, clasping a chain around her neck, it's none other than Belinda Peach, in all her splendour. "Hello Ashley" she says, as Ashley smiles nervously and gulps, "are you hiding from me?" She sits down next to him, putting her arm around him, "Don't worry, I don't bite. Not till after midnight, anyroad." Another nervous gulp as Ashley tells her he isn't alone (it's a bit like "I've got my big brother with me, so there!").
Alma comes back from a dance with Ravi - she compliments him on his magical dancing, which he explains away as the result of being under her magical spell. "You're also a dreadful flirt" she continues. "I thought I was an accomplished flirt" he replies.
Maxine returns from the toilet to find Belinda sitting in her seat. "Ashley were telling me all about you, weren't you?" says Belinda gripping Ashley's thigh, amid Maxine's icy glare. "I thought you told me she'd got a face like a pig's backside" snarls Maxine to Ashley. "I haven't seen her for ages" replies Ashley. "Ashley were saying me you're a hairdresser" continues Belinda. "Beauty consultant" snarls back Maxine. "I'm a model, me" says Belinda. "That's funny, I thought you worked at Eckersley Street Abattoir" ripostes Maxine, cattily. "I just do that part time for me dad" says our "Belle", "working in an abattoir, it's not a career, is it? Mind, I do love working with animals." The expressions on Ashley's and Maxine's faces are priceless,
Steve is propping up the bar on his own and offers Betty a drink, as no-one else is drinking with him. Linda parks herself alongside him. "And whatever Linda's having" adds Steve. "Oh thanks, I'll have a bottle of red wine, to go" is the reply. Steve suddenly perks up, pleased that things are getting better and better. "My old man is out, the house is free" is the invite. Betty hands the bottle of wine to Linda, who smiles and replies "don't get lonely in the house by yourself, will you? Bye" and promptly wanders out!!!! ROTFLMAO!! What a wonderful routine, seeing Steve absolutely shafted by a professional!! The look on Steve's face is priceless.
In the Ladies, Audrey is commenting on how much Alma seems to be enjoying herself and how well she seems to be getting on with Ravi. "I wish I could say the same for his flaming daughter" is Alma's from the heart reply. She is frustrated by Nita's arrival at the store and having her nose pushed out of joint. She has a really got whine about how Curly is drooling over her, her wearing "that dress, flashing her big brown eyes at him" and moans "if Curly weren't so stupid she would still be behind the counter at that tatty corner shop, where she belongs." The two leave the ladies. As they do so, one of the cubicles opens and who should walk out, but Nita - she has overheard every single word and is clearly not pleased with what she heard.
Belinda is still droning on about her successful modelling career, much to Ashley's and Maxine's boredom. Maxine tells her to keep her hands off "my Ashley, alright? I know your sort, low cut and loose elastic! Yeah well, I might only just work in a salon but it means I sharpen me nails every day, alright?" Hahahahahaha! Wonderful stuff!!
Audrey and Fred are dancing away. Fred asks whether Audrey is enjoying herself, commenting she must be missing Alf. "But life must go on, Fred", she replies, "even if some of the colour's not there any more."
As Curly comes into view, Maxine points him out to Belinda - he's the guy she should be going for, she tells her. She explains how Curly is the manager of the Weatherfield Freshco's but is being groomed for big things, like Managing Director of the whole group. Belinda's eyes light up as she focuses on her prey. Curly introduces himself, Belinda tells him she's a model, Maxine adds "you've got something in common with Curly's ex-wife!"
Mike is grateful to Linda for her help and says even he found her performance convincing. Linda says that she has to be careful not to make it obvious there is anything between them. It has its advantages having a spy on the shop floor, adds Mike. "I hope that's not all I am to you" replies Linda. Mike gives her the assurance she is looking for, which prompts her to remark that they make a great team. The clink of the wineglasses seals the deal.
At the ball, Maxine and Ashley are kissing away and are bemused to see Curly having his bum groped on the dance-floor by Belinda. "Poor Curly, it's like dancing with a mauling octopus" comments Ashley. "More like a preying mantis" adds Maxine. The last dance is a signal for Ashley to invite Maxine onto the dance-floor.
Fred is getting all romantic with Audrey on the dance-floor, "you know, if we closed us eyes, we could almost be dancing at a masked ball in Venice" he tells her. When Audrey tells him she doesn't think her imagination is that good, he suggests making it easier for her "why don't we do it for real?" "What, the two of us together?" asks Audrey. "Why not the two of us on honeymoon?" replies Fred. There is a stunned silence as Audrey grapples with the proposal. The mood is shattered by Ravi, butting in between them - he reminds Audrey that she promised him a dance and, as this is the last one, he has come to collect. A stunned and relieved Audrey goes off with Ravi, leaving Fred on his own. Alma asks him for a dance, "No, Alma, I've lost the heart for it" is Fred's sad reply, as he wanders off on his own.
Ashley and Maxine are dancing together. He asks her whether she meant what she said about wondering if the two of them would ever get back together. When she confirms this, Ashley goes onto explain. "Only me Uncle Fred said something today, about opportunities not coming out of a bockle (sic). Opportunities are what makes life, that's what he says. I reckon he's right. It's what we've got now, second time round. I don't wanna lose the second chance Maxime (sic) - not ever... You don't have to answer me, not yet... I wanna know.. will you marry me..." The second stunned face we have seen tonight belongs to Maxine......
And with that... .... it is the cue for music and credits ...
Episode written by Phil Ford
All material is, and remains, copyright property of Granada Television.
Well, how was it for me?
A lovely episode with a great feel-good factor, interspersed with some superb comedy. Wonderful script and marvellous lines...
Taking the comedy first.... Wonderful interplay between Fred and Ashley, Fred making his appearance at the ball, Ashley, Maxine and Belinda.
Brilliant stitch-up by Linda, well and truly putting Steve in his place....
Lovely romantic moments with Fred and Audrey and, of course, Ashley and Maxine - the latter being a real hanky session...
Ain't Corrie wonderful when it's like this?
Anyway that's it for now.. well, I can't stand here gabbin', I've got pies to shift. Until the next time, take care... Tubby greetings and Tinkyluv from the Tinkster in Glorious Glossop....
Regards, Alan
Hiya :)
Well, it's the end of another glorious weekend and back to the grind that is Monday. Still, even if the weather is being all rubbish again (yes, Summer lasted all of two days!), at least Corrie puts in a somewhat better performance than it did last week, this time around. Plus, I can with pride declare this episode a Vikram-Free Zone, so you may safely put your sick bags back into the pocket at the side of your seat. Anyhow, without further waffle, here's:
The show opens on a fairly low note with Alma, at the breakfast table, developing a headache about her divorce proceedings. Should she spare Mike because of his poverty claims or should she take the advice of Fred and Ravi by milking him for all he's worth? A nearby Audrey puts in her two pennies and suggests that Alma goes for the whole hog, reminding that Mike has had an affair he's barely apologised for, has been (according to Fred) living it up in posh hotels and is "making a right fool out of her"... On top of this, she wonders who Mike took with him to this "posh hotel", since it's not the kind of place one usually goes on one's own! Alma ponders aloud if it was the Belmont Hotel (the place they were planning to go together on their Anniversary) and with this nasty thought in mind she finally decides that enough is enough, she's given him far too much leeway and is ready to start firing on all cylinders.
Deirdre is back to work at Underworld (first time we've seen her there in months!) and examining Janice's sewing machine which seems to experiencing some trouble. Just then, Linda "UberMinx" Sykes walks in (fifteen minutes late) and Deirdre clocks her... "What time do you call this?" she asks, to which Linda, caustic as ever, flashes her eyelashes and replies "It's quarter past nine - You did ask for the time didn't you?"... Further words of this nature are swapped between the pair of them and eventually Linda is let off with a mere warning that if this lateness occurs again, Mike shall be told. Needless to say, the UberMinx doesn't seem to find this to be *too* much of a threat...
Over at the Frescho Meat Counter, Fred is smiling broadly as he serves up a bag of meat to a red-haired, blue-eyed female customer... "If that fillet doesn't tickle his fancy", proclaims the Butcher, loudly, "You can have it on me", adding as she leaves "Ayeee, if I were 20 years younger..." to a nearby Ashley. Ash is in a world of his own, thinking about his Fiancee no doubt, so Fred chides him for not fully appreciating the advantages of this job for a red-blooded male (LOL!)... "A meat counter is like a venus flytrap to a woman", he booms, "They're drawn to it by primitive instinct"... Sharp as a tack, Ashley replies "If I wanted to catch flies, I'd leave me gob open"! They continue on these lines for a few seconds and it dawns on me that I really could watch just the two of them in action for 30 minutes solid. Priceless timing all round. He thinks that Ashley should be "plucking a new violet every day" rather than "chaining himself to the same old dog-daisy" and, if he is to chain himself to somebody it should be someone like Belinda Peach who is a prestigious local heiress "with money to burn". When Ash tries to explain that he and Maxine are in love, Fred goes as far as to call her a "flibbidygibbit" (rofl) and adds somewhat more ominously that "it'll all end in tears".
Meanwhile, at El Casa Y MacDonald, Steve has returned from his weekend "baccy run" (oh brother...) and has this time brought back some duty-free booze too (albeit legally). He cracks open a bottle of red wine to share over fried breakfast with Jim, in celebration of the fact he seems to have found a new, surefire way of making some extra cash on the weekend. "There's lines and lines of cars coming back on that ferry", he remarks, "All pieces of scrap bringing stuff in". It's of course a no-risk deal to him, but Jim (being older and wiser) is still very cautious of the whole thing. Cadaver Boy reminds his Dad that he owes a lot of the money to the Taxman still and therefore NEEDS the income right now, adding "Besides, it's the Government's own fault, they shouldn't tax people so much" which opens a whole new can of worms altogether. Jim thankfully keeps the lid on it and simply reiterates his warning to Steve that one way or another, they're gonna find him, they're gonna get him get him get him get him.
Alma veritably *STORMS* into Underworld and demands to know from Deirdre if Mike is in... "Yes, he's in his office", stutters a surprised Dee as Alma rages her way into the little glass box for a showdown at high noon. Now it strikes me that since we've already seen a lot of these arguments recently between Alma and Mike, we're going to be seeing a lot more in the future and, I can also guess that they're going to get increasingly tedious. Especially if this is anything to go by. Yes, it's Kevin and Sally all over again. Shouting for the sake of shouting, fingers in your ears time... Any road up, for the benefit of people who are interested in the "discussion", I'll sum it up in a nutshell. Alma demands to know what Mike was doing in a top class hotel if he's supposedly so skint, she also wants to know who he was with and when Mike (predictably) denies all knowledge and accuses her of being, well, err, accusing, she pulls off the kid gloves and tells him in no uncertain terms that she's going for 50% of all he owns in the divorce proceedings. "I'm going to fight you every inch of the way!" she screams, pointing her finger "So you'd better get used to it!"
Over at Roy's Rolls, Sally orders a drink and sits down just as Ashley walks in with a meat delivery. Gail, who is behind the counter, congratulates him on the good news about his proposal to Maxine and he takes it graciously. "You'll be having the Barber's Male Voice Choir I take it?" she asks, jokingly, and it puts a look of fright across his face as he remembers Fred and Maureen's wedding "entertainment". They laugh about it together and Ash explains that he and Maxine will be having much better music at their own ceremony. As he leaves, a tiny voice pipes up "All the best!" from a table. It's Leanne, who for the first time in months is warm and pleasant once more! Hurrah! She wishes him better luck in his marriage than she had in her's and hopes that there's no hard feelings between the two of them over what happened before. He tells her that he's not one to bear a grudge as she asks him timidly to give her love to Maxine... At this point, we cut across to Sally's table where her mobile 'phone has rang. It's the Headmistress again, from Rosie's School and she appears to have bad news. Gail asks what the problem is but a tearful Sally can only say that Rurrrrsie has been suspended from school before rushing out of the Caff... (Incidentally, a bit anoraky, but did anyone else notice that in the background of these scenes, there was a big newspaper clipping hanging on the wall of the Cafe about Gary Mallett and Mrs Hardy? I thought it was a nice touch. :))
Back at the Underworld Of Delight, Mike signs a invoice for Deirdre just as the Factory Bees leave for lunch... Hayley accidentally looks at him the wrong way, so Mike snaps at her before launching into a full-scale shout at the whole workforce. "I'll be selling up!" he barks, "It's the only way I'll pay for me divorce if Alma gets her way!" - ooooh, you little stirrer!! The staff are obviously not best pleased about this and mumble amongst themselves, as Mike continues to growl. Cue commercial break.
END OF PART ONE
I hereby pronounce that the song on the Lloyds-TSB Bank advert is the most irritating thing I've heard this side of Orbital's Glastonbury set and the whole commercial is 2 minutes too long... However, on the bright side, the new ad for Haze air freshener, featuring the BIG GREY SCARY TOBACCO DEVIL gave me a great laugh. :) Yes, I'm easily amused.
PART TWO
Back to the show, the Factory Bees sit in a booth in the Rovers, worrying about their jobs. All except Linda that is, who seems quite nonchalant about the whole thing and says little besides an observation that Alma is a "right cow". Hayley attempts loyally to dispute this, just as Les walks in and asks them all "Why the long faces? Did somebody die?" - At this point, Janice explains to him that Baldwin is going to be forced to sell the factory as a result of his divorce, an idea that Les finds deeply amusing at first ("Worra mug! Still, it'll be good to see him on the recieving end for a change, it'll gimme a good laff!") but then rather frightening as he realises that Janice will be out of a job and he may have to *gasp* work for a living. "What's up, Les? Somebody died?" she snaps to him, sarcastically, as his face skips the light fandango and turns a whiter shade of paaaale... Across the room, Fred begins to invite Audrey for a night out but she teases him and claims she's already had a few such offers. "Not from Ravi, I hope", he murmurs, eyebrows raised, "I can give you more than Eastern Promise"! He then goes on to (wait for it - just HOW romantic do you want? :P) ask her to accompany him to the greyhound track (!) which he assures is no longer "a pie and chips place" since it's gone upmarket! She's justifiably not interested at all, until he mentions slyly that "George Shrimpton" (the soon-to-be Mayor of Weatherfield, apparently!) has a private box there and has personally invited him. Obviously, the promise of potential political profile perks Audrey up and she agrees quite happily to be his date for the evening. "Seven O Clock?" beams Fred. "Best make it Seven Thirty", she replies, "I wouldn't want to show up looking like.. a dog's dinner!" - ARF ARF!
At the bar meanwhile, Kevin and Alison are poring over local properties in the newspaper. Deirdre wanders over to see what they're up to and they explain that, thus far, they've been having very little luck on the flat front... She points out that the flat above the Bookies is free now that she's living with Ken again (LET THE MUSICAL HOUSES GAME BEGIN!) and it's very affordable. Kevin shows interest and, as Deirdre leaves, asks Mini- Mavis what she thinks. MM likes the idea but hopes that it isn't too close to Sally and the gurrls, esp considering Rursie's current problems... Kev assures her that gurrrls love her and that Sally is mellowing, adding that he'll ask the Sickly One and if she says she doesn't mind, they can go for it. Mini-Mave agrees, albeit with perhaps a hint of reluctance.
In Freshco, meanwhile, Alma stops Nita on her way to the Boss' office and asks her to tell Curly that the frozen turkey nibbles still haven't arrived... Nita snaps and barks "Are you sure you want me to do it? I mean, I don't mind doing it, but I thought I'd let someone else grease round the manager". Alma looks confused as Nita continues "After all, that's why I'm doing so well isn't it? Letting him pull all the strings for me? I mean, I'd be scrubbing floors if I hadn't wound him around my little finger"... Ut oh. Alma is foolish enough to ask what the meaning of this is, only to be told that "toilet walls have ears" and, as Nita walks away, a look of sheer exasperation emerges across her features. The penny drops. She realises that Nita overheard *all* of her ladies room gossip to Audrey at the Freshco Ball.
Meanwhile, on the Street, Sally sends Rosie up to her room just as Kevin arrives outside... He asks what's going on and she explains just *why* Rosie was suspended (Incidentally, it's very easy to make jokes about this storyline I know, but Rursie's bullying has increased now to a level that I find it a teensy bit uncomfortable to poke *toooo* much fun at)... It seems that she locked this girl, Amber, in a cupboard, told her that she'd never let her out and that she'd never see her parents again! At this point, Amber apparently started crying so Rosie began slapping her (!)... Ouch! Very unpleasant stuff indeedy! Naturally, the school sent her home after this and the most outrageous thing of all is that, for all her nastiness, she got only a *week's* worth of suspension! Kevin is bewildered by the news and, under Sally's instruction, steps inside the house.
Cut to the Rovers, where Fred troubles Ashley for a word at the Bar... The Butcher Of Weatherfield is concerned that, because his son is "a sensitive soul", he doesn't wish to see him heartbroken again but Ash is having none of it, claiming he's old enough and wise enough to think for himself about his own love life. When Fred asks if Max is pregnant and if this is the reason they are marrying so soon, Ashley snaps at him and remarks that he's only giving this lecture because he's sour and bitter about having his OWN proposal snubbed by Audrey.
Back at Sally's, she and Kevin have a pretty intensive discussion (with *GASP!* no shouting!) about Rursie's bullying and reach the conclusion that, frankly, there IS no conclusion. They're both at a loss as to what they can do to stop her since it's evident that she's out of control. The Headmistress at School has recommended a child psychologist and, although Kevin thinks this is "a bit heavy" at first, he soon thinks it may well be their only remaining choice as Sally explains that she's tried almost everything else... Incredibly, they admit that it's BOTH their faults (and don't blame each other for once! Raaah!!), which brings them into the next topic of conversation, which is whether Kev and Mini-Mave's moving into the Bookies' Flat would make things even worse for Rursie. Sally thinks it would be a good thing, since the gurrrls both seem to like Alison and also Kevin would be closer with a place of his own that they could stay in should they need to... Wow, an entire scene between them with NO bickering! How long can this last?? Of course, they both failed to notice that Rursie's bullying has only started since Kevin got that hideous face-fuzz that he calls a "beard". Obviously, *this* is the connection. ;) But can it be destroyed by mere Earthling Weapons?
In the Frescho Canteen, meanwhile (a set we haven't seen in many many months), Alma joins Nita at a table and begins to apologise for what she overheard. Nita is cold at first, refusing to accept that it was simply the drink talking but when Alma explains how insecure she's feeling about her job, her future and just about everything else since leaving Mike, Nita warms to her and shows sympathy. It seems HER main gripe grew from insecurity too, as she was afraid that *everyone* thought the same as Alma about her being a "pushy young upstart". To Nita's relief, Alma explains that this isn't the case, adding "I'm sorry and I hope I haven't spoilt things for you". Finally, Nita breaks a smile and says "It's not in my nature either to fall out with anyone so shall we start again eh?"
Back at the Rovers, Fred and Audrey sit at a table, as he asks her for a favour. It seems he wants her to attempt to "talk some sense" into Maxine in order to stop her from marrying his Ashley. The Fragrant Lady is having none of it, since she believes they make a lovely young couple but Fred remains adamant that "they're not suited". Strictly, Audreh tells him that *TRYING* to stop them will ensure they just try harder ("just look at Nick and Leanne!"), thus the whole idea is a waste of time, a conclusion that Fred himself is reluctantly forced to reach too... The jury's still out here as to who's right and who's wrong on this matter. I *like* Ashley a lot and I even like Maxine these days, but I have to say I almost think Fred's got a point. They are strangely unsuited in so many ways and, well, my main problem is that it's all happened soooo quickly. I mean, two updates ago, they weren't even a reunited couple and now this? Hmm, the storyline's had it's sweet little moments, but it all seems so contrived. As if it's just rushed straight into all this, so they can get a wedding in as soon as possible (we've just had one!)... Bah, I dunno, maybe I'll warm to it, but as yet, I'm unsure... Which brings us on to...
...The House Of Elliot, where tonight's final scene takes place over dinner between Max and Ashley. She is worried about Uncle Fred turning on her and trying to stop them from getting married ("you saw what he did when he turned on Zoe!") but he explains that it'll be ok, "just ignore him". She seems placated and remarks "Well, it's not as if he's your Dad, I suppose"... At this point, he decides it's time to tell her about Fred's secret and how, in actual fact, he *IS* Ashley's Dad, a revelation that sends Maxine into a mini-panic as she realises that the Maniac Butcher *COULD* indeed have an effect on whether they actually get wed or not. Ash calms her down with words of love and reassurance as the scene ends with them making gooey eyes at each other. I couldn't help notice at this point (and even moreso when I watched it the second time for the purpose of the Update) that Maxine has undergone something of a personality transplant. She's now like a big Manga cartoon character now, all gigantic puppy-eyes and sing-songy simpering voice. It's strange. I wonder if this is intentional, to make her more "suitable" for Ashley or if it's just coincidence? Either way, it *really* showed in this scene. Oops, almost forgot - Cue Credits!
So how was it for me? Overall pretty good, nicely scripted by Martin Allen. Some seriousness from Kevin and Sally for a change (they didn't even grate a single nerve let alone the usual fistful), brilliant interaction between Ashley and Fred... Just a general pleasant, easy- going episode all round. As I said already, I'm a bit 50/50 on the Ashley and Maxine stuff but, since I like both characters, I'm likely to mellow on this as time goes on. The only thing that did start to irritate in this episode was the bile between Alma and Mike, something which has already dragged on too far. I dislike divorce storylines and this one seems to be going down the Sally and Kevin route of repetetiveness already. But not to worry, since it was only a few fleeting moments in a half-hour episode.
Anyway, enough of this. A marked improvement over last week and enjoyable stuff. 'Til Next Time! :)
The Rattler
Ashley is bringing in the mail, noting that there is a letter for Leanne from Canada, as Maxine is gazing glumly into space. "I wish you weren't his son Ashley, I know what he thinks of me - he thinks I'm a bimbo". Ashley tells her not to be so daft, as she continues "He's seen he running around in the nude - I flashed for your Dad!" Ashley says defiantly that that doesn't mean Fred can stop him from marrying her, but she persists. "It will - I know it will. He just doesn't think that I'm good enough for you". Ashley reassures her that he doesn't care what Fred thinks - it's his life and if Fred doesn't like what he does with it, he can lump it. Maxine asks if he really means that. He grins that of course he does, and that to prove it to her, they'll go out at lunchtime and buy a ring - that way they'll really be engaged. Maxine is over the moon, but he insists that she tell no-one else that Fred is his father. She promises that she won't, as long as he doesn't "grow fat and bold and start repeating yourself!" They kiss and hug.
Vikram is reading the paper in the shop, and hurriedly shoves it under the counter as Leanne breezes in. She tells him that it's her 18th birthday on Friday, and that she is having some people around. Vikram tells her he may be tied up, and Leanne, clearly unimpressed, asks "What? ALL evening?" He says he'll have to see, but she presses him to reconsider - she says the real reason he isn't keen is that he doesn't like her family, but that he should do it for her. Vikram says that he had enough of Les the other night. Leanne tells him to ignore him, but Vik isn't convinced, remaining non-committal. Leanne gives up and walks out, as Gail appears, asking Vik for a large box of cornflakes. He disappears into the back of the shop to get some, bumping into Sally who has wandered into the shop in a daze. Gail greets her, which brings her to her senses. She says absent-mindedly that she meant to go to the Kabin. Gail asks if she is ok, and Sally says that Rosie's behaviour, and her being suspended from school, is driving her spare. Gail is surprised that the bad behaviour is continuing, as Sally continues that she is now late for work, having to find someone to look after her. Gail offers to help. Sally thanks her but says that Rita has already stepped in. She says that the thing that gets to her most is that Rosie is perfectly well behaved in other company, but just sulks whenever she is alone with Sally. "What's worse", Sally continued, "is that she told me that she hated me last night". Gail tries to reassure her that Rosie didn't mean it, but Sally is convinced she did. She leaves the shop as Vikram returns with Gail's cornflakes.
Janice is tidying up, wistfully remembering their Welsh holiday, as Les cleans his trainers. Les tells her it will be their last holiday ever, is she is made redundant. Janice agrees, saying there is no chance of Les ever being the breadwinner. An indignant Les says that it isn't his fault - he is available for any job. Janice reminds him that he doesn't have any skills worth having. Les changes the subject, and says that Alma had better not show her face if the factory closes. Janice chastises Les for getting muck on the carpet, reminding him that they must keep the place clean for Leanne's 18th birthday bash. Les brightens up, and says that he can do the music for the party. Toyah appears from the kitchen, casually mentioning that someone she knows got a car for her 18th from her Dad, who had a good computer job because he had gone on a retraining programme. She encourages Les to go to the job centre and do the same, but he dismisses the idea when he finds out he won't get paid to attend. Toyah reminds him that it would be worth if it he got a good job in the end, but Janice tells her not to waste her time, as Les doesn't have the brains for it. Toyah has a final attempt and mentions the car again. Les says he will be getting a present for Leanne - he will buy her her first legal drink in the Rovers.
It's lunchtime in the salon, and Audrey says that she will do the sweeping up, as Maxine is eager to go into town for her engagement ring. Audrey reminds her that it is the custom to spend at least a month's wages on a ring, but Maxine says that Ashley isn't mean, and that they will pick something that they both like. "Let's hope he doesn't like zircon," says Audrey, as Ashley enters the salon. Audrey advises them to take their time when choosing, as Maxine may be wearing the ring for the rest of her life. Ashley assures her that is his intention. They hug and leave, excitedly.
Alison enters the Rovers with Kevin, saying that she is pleased he likes it as much as she does(!) and Kevin says that he can't believe that he didn't think of it in the first place, especially as he knew that Dierdre had moved out. Dierdre is just about to pay for her drink at the bar, but Kevin says he will pay as she has done him a favour. Alison tells her they have paid the deposit and will get the keys as soon as the cheque clears. Dierdre wishes them well in their new home. Alison spots Linda and rushed over excitedly to tell her the news, saying that her and Kevin feel like a proper couple now. "Great", utters Linda, with her usual level of enthusiasm. "Councillor!" bellows Fred, as Audrey arrives, "name your tincture!". Audrey says that she will have a sweet sherry, as she is feeling "all gooey" today. She says that young romance always does that to her. Fred asks as to whether she has been reading a romantic novel, but Audrey reminds him that Ashley and Maxine have gone into town to select a ring. "Have they &", utters Fred, leaning on the bar, as Audrey tells him that, although she had her doubts about them at first, she thinks things have worked out well, saying that it's the fact they are having to wait for each other. She tells Fred it's important that they start as they mean to go on - and that means not skimping on the ring. Fred bemoans the fact that Ashley couldn't marry into profit - when Audrey queries this, he tells her that it's no good pretending that the marriage will last, as they have already split up once. Audrey tells him not to be so miserable, saying she will pay for her own drink.
Charlie West's battered old camper can trundles up the street and stops outside the Battersby's. The camera follows a pair of boots as they approach the front door. The camera pans up to reveal Owen, as he knocks. "Les! The door", yells Janice from inside. However as Les does not respond, we see Janice come to the door. "Hang about!" bawls Les as he runs down the stairs. Janice has brought Owen in and when Les sees him, he says he hopes his dad hasn't sent him to hassle him. Janice tells him that Owen has returned the van, and Les runs outside to check. Janice says she can't believe he is here. Owen tells her he had to see her, but Janice says she doesn't want any trouble. Les reappears and asks how Owen got the van going. Owen runs through a list of jobs, and says he can't guarantee it would make another long journey. Les says he doesn't care about that - once he has given the keys back to Charlie West in the bookies, he doesn't care if the big end drops out! He instructs Janice to make Owen some food, saying that when he gets back he'll take him for a pint. A shot of a despairing Janice as we go into the break.
"Here", snaps Janice, appearing from the kitchen with a cup of tea for Owen. He says he knows she is annoyed with him, but he had to come because he couldn't stop thinking about her. She tells him that she isn't interested. He tells her he doesn't believe her, as he knows how she feels about him and he feels the same way, but Janice says that it doesn't work like that. Owen tells her she is only saying that because she feels guilty. "Of course I feel guilty - I'm married!" she yells. Owen tells her that she wouldn't have felt anything for him if she was happy with Les. "But you're not, are you? I know you're not; how could you be?" Janice sadly shakes her head and tells him that he doesn't know anything about her, as they hardly saw each other for more than two minutes. Owen nervously puts his cup down, before telling Janice that he wants her to come away with him back to Wales. He says she shouldn't think about it - she should just do what she feels. Janice laughs and tells him not to be mad. Owen questions her as to whether it's mad to want to be with her and make her happy. He tells her she doesn't have to stay with Les, as he doesn't appreciate her and takes her for granted. He urges her not to spend her life with a man like that, as he could look after her. Janice looks confused and moves forward to kiss her, as Toyah opens the front door. "What the Hell are you doing here?" Janice jumps in and tells Toyah that Owen brought the camper van back. She scurries off to the kitchen saying she is going to make Owen some sandwiches for his return trip. She asks Toyah if she wants any. Toyah refuses and growls at Owen, "I know why you're here, you creep!"
Sally is bringing boxes of stock into the house. "Hi Sal!" we hear from Gail, who follows her in. Gail says she has come to talk about Rosie, and Sally wonds what Rosie has done now. Gail says she didn't want Sally thinking that Rosie knew what she was doing. She advises her that kids just aren't that logical, and that Rosie must have been keeping things to herself for a long time. She tells Sally that the problems could go right back to when Sally and Kevin split up. Sally says she knows it is her that has done all this to Rosie. Gail thinks that it's good that Rosie is showing her reactions to Sally, and that it's better than her bottling everything up just to please her. Sally half-heartedly agrees, but says things are very difficult and that she doesn't want Sophie to begin copying her. Gail thinks the thing that Sally has to try to do is to not reward Rosie for being bad. Sally denies this and questions how she has been rewarding her. Gail laughs and says she knows that is exactly what Sally is trying not to do, but whenever Sally gets worked up she is giving Rosie more attention. Gail reminds her that Rosie is well behaved in everyone else's company, so it must be Sally she is trying to get at. Sally agrees. Gail's advice is to ignore Rosie. She says Sally should say when she isn't please with her, but she shouldn't get annoyed. In this way, Rosie will soon get fed up being naughty if it doesn't provoke a reaction. Sally ponders the fact that she is going to have to change some things.
"There you go", says Janice coldly, handing Owen his sandwiches. She says it's a shame he can't stay for another cuppa, but if he did he would miss his train. Owen tells her he'd love another cuppa and that he doesn't care about missing his train. Toyah says that Janice should tell Owen to go like she really means it. Upset, Janice says she is only doing what she came home to do - feed whoever is hungry - and then she is going to the shops to enjoy her half day. She scurries back to the kitchen. Toyah looks icily at Owen and tells him she won't leave him alone with Janice. Les reappears and tells everyone he is in the clear with Charlie West. He asks if Owen is ready for his pint. Owen says he thinks it would be better if he went to get his train, but Les won't hear of it >from his "honoured guest". He grabs the sandwiches and hauls Owen off down the road, shouting to Janice that he will see her later. "If I'm still here", is her reply. Toyah storms to the kitchen, saying she thought that Janice had told Owen where to get off. Janice confirms she did, and that she was as gobsmacked as anyone when he turned up on the doorstep. Toyah doesn't believe he came all that way just to return the van, but Janice says that's his business - nothing to do with her. Toyah presses Janice on what they talk about, and doesn't believe her when she says they hardly spoke. Janice gets upset and tells Toyah to leave her to have her lunch in peace, and wanders back to the living room.
In the Rovers, Alison is prattling on to a clearly disinterested Linda about making cushion covers and curtains for the flat. "Great" she chunners, but Alison hardly notices and continues talking about the fact that getting a place together makes you realise that you are definitely in a relationship. She glances at her watch and tells Linda that they had better get back to work, before knocking back her orange juice. Linda is in no hurry, and tells Alison she will see her later. Alison tells her she will be late. "So I'll be late - you won't!". Alison leaves and Linda, not looking best pleased, lights up another cigarette. Owen and Les are at the bar. Les thanks Owen for doing him a big favour, and says he will return the favour because he knows why Owen went to all the effort of returning the camper van for him. Les thinks Owen is there to try again with Toyah, but despite protestations, he continues with his "I'm a man of the world" spiel, telling Owen that women don't want men to be caring and sharing, they want a man to be the boss. He gives an exasperated Owen a manly hug, and urges him to take a leaf out of his book.
Kevin follows Sally into her living room. "I just wanted you to know about Dierdre's old flat - we've taken it". He continues about the convenience of the flat, being close to the children and to work. When Sally looks preoccupied, he asks her if she is ok. She says that she isn't - Rosie told her that she hates her, and has gone to her room. Kevin says she doesn't hate her, but Sally tells him that he should have seen her face:- she really meant it. Kevin thinks she was just upset, but Sally tells him this is all to do with Greg, and that Rosie hates her because Sally let him frighten her. Sally doesn't know what to do, and isn't convinced when Kevin tells her that Rosie is bound to get over it soon. Kevin asks whether he should go and talk to Rosie. Sally doesn't think it can do any harm, as she won't talk to her. Sally says she tries not to get cross with her, but Rosie goads her as if she wants Sally to be cross with her, so she can hate her even more. She tells Kevin to be careful, and that, as with everyone else, Rosie will try to play Kevin off against her. Kevin frowns at Sally, and goes upstairs.
Linda arrives back at the factory after lunch. Dierdre accosts her and tells her she is late - again. "Am I?", asks Linda, flippantly. Dierdre reminds her that she was warned last time, and Linda tells her she can report her if that makes her happy. Hayley wriggles nervously in her seat in the background. "Right!" says Dierdre, and storms off to see Mike. Linda calls her a bossy old bag, and Alison tells her to stop needling her, or she'll get into trouble. "No she won't", says Linda, confidently. Dierdre complains to Mike that he will have to have a word with Linda - she is continually late and goes out of her way to wind her up. When Mike asks what her excuse is, Dierdre tells him that she doesn't even bother having one. Dierdre says she's even more cocky than usual, and continues that as Linda has now made it public between them, he'll have to do something or the others will start trying it on. Mike tells her he'll have a word. He says it's probably his fault anyway, as he told the woman he may have to close the factory, so they probably think that they have nothing to lose. Dierdre queries whether he really meant it, but Mike tells her that's down to Alma.
Maxine is showing Leanne her engagement ring in the Rovers. She tells her it's unusual as it doesn't have shoulders. Maud has a look and says it's lovely. Ashley tells her he picked it, and Maud tells him that it's not showy - just perfect. Maxine remembers that she hasn't introduced Ashley to her parents, and she will have to meet his Mum. Maud is horrified that they haven't yet met. Maxine agrees, and tells Ashley that is why she is taking him around to their house on Friday. He stares open-mouthed. Ravi asks Alma what she would like to drink, and she orders a gin and tonic. They stand next to Owen and Les, who seem to have had a few. He tells Owen that that is the women who is threatening his family's livelihood. He shouts to her "Hey! I want a word with you!" Alma, shocked, says she doesn't have a clue what he is on about. He calls her a selfish cow, because she doesn't care about any of the women in the factory. Ravi steps in, and Les accuses her of trying to get her claws into him well. Leanne tells Les to shut up or get out. Les moans that he doesn't even have freedom of speech now, and leaves, saying he will return when Alma isn't there.
In the factory, Mike tells Linda to come into his office and sit down. She wonders whether he is going to give her a hard time, and he tells her he will make it look as if he is. He asks her if she is trying to make things awkward for him, and Linda tells him not to be daft; Dierdre has it in for her because Linda thinks she isn't up to doing her job. She says she only got the job because she is a friend of Mike's; an ex-con wouldn't have got a job like that so easily. Linda tries to offer evidence for her theory: she says if Dierdre was good at her job, she would have noticed that Jean was stealing garments. Mike tells her that he needs her to stop causing trouble at work and to keep her head down, for both their sakes. Linda says it looks as if he wants her to keep her head down everywhere, as if he is ashamed of her. He tells her not to be daft, but Linda argues that everyone knows he and Alma have split up, so what is the problem with them knowing about her? He says he doesn't want to give Alma any more excuse for twisting the knife. Linda relents, and asks him what he wants for his tea, as they are stopping in. He suggests that they go to a restaurant out of town instead.
Toyah is sat, arms folded, as Les and Owen return. Les says there is a six-pack in the fridge they can continue with, and then asks Toyah why she isn't back at school. She tells him she is revising (although there are no books out, Les accepts her answer). He asks where Janice is, as she appears from the kitchen and tells him she is going to the shops. Les says he has just been kicked out of the Rovers on her account, and relates the story to her. Janice, embarrassed, says "I bet Owen wishes he had got his train back now". But Les won't hear of it and insists he stay overnight and gets a train in the morning. "Anyway", grins Les, "I don't think our Toyah would want you to go rushing off!" "He still doesn't see it, does he?" spits Toyah. Janice jumps in and says Owen wants to go now. Owen demands to speak for himself, but Toyah can contain herself no longer and tells Les that Owen has come here for Janice. Les tells her not to be stupid, but Toyah says it's Les who is being stupid, and he should ask them about it, and the letter Owen sent. Les asks Janice what Toyah is on about, and she tells him she doesn't know ask she tried to brush past him, but he grabs her arm. Owen shouts at Les to leave her alone, and Les turns to him, the penny finally having dropped. Owen tells him he only went to the Rovers to see if there was some good in him, but there isn't; he is nothing but a big, ugly mouth. Janice holds Les back and urges Owen to leave. Les follows him and they begin brawling in the street by the camper van. Janice pleads for someone to help, just as Alma, Ravi and Fred are leaving the Rovers, Fred being quite "merry". The three stand there watching for a moment, Ravi querying who Les is fighting. Fred tells him that he "wouldn't want to know; keep aloof, keep aloof". Owen lands a punch in Les's stomach that sends him crashing to the ground, writhing. Janice rushes to his aid. Owen asks her, "is he what you want is he?" When she doesn't respond, he utters "it's your life", and walks away. Janice leans on Les and cries.
Written by Maureen Chadwick.
Update written by Paul Connor
