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OK - this is last Monday's episode (18th Dec), and I only
promise to do this if I watch an episode and enjoy it, and I don't
read someone else's synopsis first:
Mavis, Rita and Derek
The cruisers have arrived back from their cruise. Derek and Mave
are overjoyed to see each other - Derek says that he received
two postcards, one from Mavis, one from Arthur, he starts making
comments to Rita, who, tired with it all says "Yes, that's
right it was me, mystery solved," and flounces off. Mavis
says that Rita was worrying about the Websters while she was on
the cruise, and that she went for walks alone. Mavis seems in
a very frisky mood, possibly due to the romantic time she had
on the boat. The couple are happy for about 10 seconds until Derek
tells her that Norris is going to marry Angela and they've asked
him to be the best man. "You said no, didn't you Derek? Derek?
Oh Derek!" And the usual pouty little face resumes and their
lives are back to normal.
Curly, Racquel, Maureen
Curly and Racquel arrive back - Curly struggles carrying her over
the threshold, Vera notices and pulls one of her gob-smacked faces.
"I'm in heaven," drools Curly, "I think I'll never
come back down to earth". Then Vera's face appears in the
doorway, and reality hits them with a capital R. Once inside,
and away from prying eyes, there is more kissing - there is a
lot of kissing between them in this episode. It's a disgrace!
And Curly goes to work for an hour. Racquel is upset at first
but says she doesn't mind as she wants him to be ambitious. Curly
announces to that woman in Firmans Freezers (the one who thinks
she is being sexually harrassed) that he is married to Miss February,
and her disappointment is very obvious. He says that everyone
will get to meet her at the Christmas party. Maureen delivers
a big box of food to Racquel, who discovers that Maureen knew
all about the wedding. Racquel thanks Maureen for the flowers
- making a good IQ leap (as she thought they were from Curly).
For the rest of the episode, Maureen excitedly tells people at
random "I knew!" until Maud says "Yes our Maureen,
we all get the message".
Des and Liz
Des and his boss decide that they've had enough of Liz (I wasn't
paying much attention here so this might be wrong), and it ends
with Liz being sacked - there is a horrible atmosphere in the
betting shop (as usual), and Liz eventually goes home early. Des
calls round later, unhappy with the situation, but Liz cautions
him that she hasn't told Jim yet. Jim thinks that Des is here
to get an escort for the Rovers as Curly and Racquel are having
a "do" in there that night. But it is the first Des
has heard about it, and his obvious shock serves him right. He
looks a mess throughout this episode, unshaven, and with desperate
little piggy eyes. I hate him. Later at the Rovers, everyone appears
to be happy - and willing to demonstrate how nice it is to be
part of a couple. Vera is wearing her black choker - and kisses
Curly. Audrey announces that now Racquel is married, all the men
will come sniffing round her, and Denise and Liz both say "Yes"
very gruffly. Des congratulates Curly, but there is little love
lost between them. Betty says that Raquel is just like a model,
wanting to be in the limelight all the time. Lots of shots of
Fiona, Vicky, Tony looking miserable in the background. Martin
is acting particularly "laddish" for some reason. Racquel
rushes out into the street to look at her "star" again
- more kissing, and the episode ends with Des gulping down a glass
of white wine and looking very miserable.
Awards go to:
Best actor/actress: Vera Duckworth/Liz Dawn for her reaction when
she discovers that Maud knew about the wedding before anyone else.
Her "thwarted" face should be bottled and sold.
Worst hairstyle: Josie. Will she NEVER use conditioner?
Racquel/Curly
Racquel gets a card from Bet Lynch, congratulating her on the
marriage, and that she knew Curly and her were made for each other.
There is one for Betty too, apologising for not going to her marriage,
but it's hard to do anything when "your whole world has fallen
down around you". She asks for them to give her things to
a worthy cause, so Betty and Racquel go through all her clothes,
and remember what she was like. Vera comes in and tries on a pair
of Bet's gold shoes, but then decides that it might be bad luck.
Racquel keeps some earrings.
Racquel is worried about having dinner with Curly's boss, so Audrey
lends her a book on etiquette. The evening is a flop, Curly seems
to be making a good impression on Mr Firman, but Mrs Firman despises
Racquel, especially when she finds out that she is a barmaid.
Racquel makes matters worse by quoting from her etiquette book
and annoying Mrs Firman. She has remembered that the after course
is called a pudding and not a sweet, and refers to Mr Firman as
having a "pudding tooth". "You mean a sweet tooth?"
asks Mr Firman, totally bamboozled, "Yes, that as well,"
says Racquel airily. Then she spills her wine over Mrs Firman,
and everything is ruined. Looks like Mr and Mrs Watts got to be
happy for 1 episode, before the writers thought they'd cause trouble.
Steve/Vicky
Emily Bishop takes Bet's things to a hospital charity, and Steve
McDonald says that Bet's skimpy clothes wouldn't keep anybody
warm. He is trying to grow facial hair and it is just awful. Vicky
announces in the Kabin that she has bought a personalised number
plate for Steve's christmas present. "Look out Mike Baldwin,"
warns Rita. Steve later wants to contribute towards the hospital
charity and gives a bottle of wine or something towards a raffle.
Emily asks if Mr Skinner wants to give anything, but he says that
he can't compete with Steve, and buys some raffle tickets instead.
Derek/Ken/Denise
Derek is musing over his drink at the Rovers. Ken notices and
asks what is up. Derek says that he has to give a "best man"
speech and wants to be rude about Norris in it. Denise says "never
do anything that you can't live afterwards," and then advises
him to lie through his teeth, so obviously she is feeling guilty
about her fling with ugly accountant brother-in-law.
Des/Liz/Jim/Mr Skinner.
Liz tells Jim she has been "given her cards" and Jim
is furious. His little brain pieces together that Mr Skinner hates
Steve and has sacked Liz because of this. He barges into the betting
shop and says "I might be a pig-thick Irish man but I'm not
stupid," etc...to Mr Skinner who is not impressed. He spends
the rest of the episode looking for Des. Later at the Rovers,
while Liz and Andy are discussing her sacking, Mr Mallet comes
in and says that Jim mustn't be able to get his winnings, because
he's banging on the door of the betting shop. Des finally lets
Jim in, and Jim begins the usual rambling. Liz rushes past him
and grabs his fist, just as he is about to clobber Des. "Noo
Jim! If you hit anyone, it'll be the last that you'll see of me."
She placates him, and they leave. Close-up on Des, looking rueful.
Music. Are they preparing the plot for him leaving?
Awards
Best Actor/Actress. Jim McDonald. Anyone who can make their eyeballs
bulge that much deserves a prize. The maximum security ward cannot
be too far away.
Most bizarre line: Audery for the one about how degrees from new
Universities are not worth the paper they're written on. How long
will she be allowed to flutter through life making these kinds
of remarks?
Paul Baker (I'm going to LA tomorrow so I won't be watching/writing
until after the new year.) Happy Christmas group.